10 Ways You’re Making Your Life Harder Than It Has To Be


BY: Tim Hoch

Original Post

1.You ascribe intent.

Another driver cut you off. Your friend never texted you back. Your co-worker went to lunch without you. Everyone can find a reason to be offended on a steady basis. So what caused you to be offended? You assigned bad intent to these otherwise innocuous actions. You took it as a personal affront, a slap in the face.

Happy people do not do this. They don’t take things personally. They don’t ascribe intent to the unintentional actions of others.

2. You’re the star of your own movie.

It is little wonder that you believe the world revolves around you. After all, you have been at the very center of every experience you have ever had.

You are the star of your own movie. You wrote the script. You know how you want it to unfold. You even know how you want it to end.

Unfortunately you forgot to give your script to anyone else. As a result, people are unaware of the role they are supposed to play. Then, when they screw up their lines, or fail to fall in love with you or don’t give you a promotion, your movie is ruined.

Lose your script. Let someone else star once in awhile. Welcome new characters. Embrace plot twists.

3. You fast forward to apocalypse.

I have a bad habit of fast forwarding everything to its worst possible outcome and being pleasantly surprised when the result is marginally better than utter disaster or jail time. My mind unnecessarily wrestles with events that aren’t even remotely likely. My sore throat is cancer. My lost driver’s license fell into the hands of an al-Qaeda operative who will wipe out my savings account.

Negativity only breeds more negativity. It is a happiness riptide. It will carry you away from shore and if you don’t swim away from it, will pull you under.

4. You have unrealistic and/or uncommunicated expectations.

Among their many shortcomings of your family and friends is the harsh reality that they cannot read your mind or anticipate your whims.

Did your boyfriend forget the six and a half month anniversary of your first movie date? Did your girlfriend refuse to call at an appointed hour? Did your friend fail to fawn over your tribal tattoo?

Unmet expectations will be at the root of most of your unhappiness in life. Minimize your expectations, maximize your joy.

5. You are waiting for a sign.

I have a friend who won’t make a decision without receiving a “sign.” I suppose she is waiting on a trumpeted announcement from God. She is constantly paralyzed by a divinity that is either heavily obscured or frustratingly tardy. I’m not disavowing that fate or a higher power plays a role in our lives. I’m just saying that it is better to help shape fate than be governed by it.

6. You don’t take risks.

Two words: Live boldly. Every single time you are offered a choice that involves greater risk, take it. You will lose on many of them but when you add them up at the end of your life you’ll be glad you did.

7. You constantly compare your life to others.

A few years ago I was invited to a nice party at a big warehouse downtown. I was enjoying the smooth jazz, box wine and crustless sandwiches. What more could a guy want? Later in the evening I noticed a steady parade of well-heeled people slide past and disappear into another room. I peeked and saw a large party with beautiful revelers dancing and carrying on like Bacchus. Suddenly my gig wasn’t as fun as it had been all because it didn’t appear to measure up to the party next door- a party I didn’t even know existed until just moments before.

I do this frequently. Those people are having more fun. Mary has a bigger boat. Craig gets all the lucky breaks. Ted has more money. John is better looking.

Stop it.

Always remember what Teddy Roosevelt said: “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

8. You let other people steal from you.

If you had a million dollars in cash under your mattress, you would check it regularly and take precautions to insure it is safe. The one possession you have that is more important than money is time. But you don’t do anything to protect it. In fact you willingly give it to thieves. Selfish people, egotistical people, negative people, people who won’t shut up. Treat your time like Fort Knox. Guard it closely and give it only to those who deserve and respect it.

9. You can’t/won’t let go.

These are getting a little harder aren’t they? That’s because sometimes you have to work at happiness. Some hurdles are too difficult to clear by simply adjusting your point of view or adopting a positive mindset.

Do you need to forgive someone? Do you need to turn your back on a failed relationship? Do you need to come to terms with the death of a loved one?

Life is full of loss. But, in a sense, real happiness would not be possible without it.  It helps us appreciate and savor the things that really matter. It helps us grow. It can help us help others grow.

Closure is a word for people who have never really suffered. There’s no such thing. Just try to “manage” your loss. Put it in perspective. You will always have some regret and doubt about your loss. You may always second guess yourself. If only you had said this, or tried that.

You’re not alone. Find someone who understands and talk to that person. Reach out for support. If all else fails, try #10 below.

10. You don’t give back.

One way to deal with loss is to immerse yourself in doing good. Volunteer. Get involved in life.

It doesn’t even have to be a big, structured thing. Say a kind word. Encourage someone. Pay a visit to someone who is alone. Get away from your self-absorption.

When it comes down to it, there are two types of people in this world. There are givers and there are takers. Givers are happy. Takers are miserable. What are you?

CatholicVote Exclusive: Supreme Court to Overturn All 50 State Constitutions | CatholicVote.org


The Supreme Courts have no rights to override a States Constitution! Each state is an independent government, we are a republic, not a dictatorship! It is time for a revolution!


Lincoln delivers the Gettysburg Address with the famous line, “These men shall not have died in vain, but that all men might have their cake and eat it too.”
Lincoln delivers the Gettysburg Address with the famous line, “These men shall not have died in vain, but that all men might have their cake and eat it too.”

WASHINGTON, April 1 — In an unprecedented surprise announcement breaching longstanding protocols of secrecy, a source close to Justice Kennedy revealed to CatholicVote that Obergefell v. Hodges will be decided by a unanimous 5-0 margin with four abstentions. The source told your humble columnist that in the opinion for the Court, Kennedy will speak passionately of the need for judicial intervention even in states where same-sex marriage is already recognized to ensure equal access to scrumptious sweets and delectable desserts for all. As a consequence of the far-reaching decision, the constitutions of all 50 states will be rendered entirely null and void because they fail to provide adequate provisions to protect the rights of same-sex couples from, as Justice Kennedy wrote in an early draft, “all forms of embarrassment, disappointment, misfortune, or inconvenience whatsoever.”

via CatholicVote Exclusive: Supreme Court to Overturn All 50 State Constitutions | CatholicVote.org.

Mother Pulls Autistic Teen From State Run Therapy. And Then He Blossoms into a Genius. | The Edgy Truth


2015-03-23_11-02-51When the state’s therapy system spoke of autistic teen Jacob Barnett, it was mostly in regards to their prognosis that he’d never be able to tie his shoes, read or have any semblance of a normal life. His mother, Kristen, was a slave to the state run program, as you can imagine, it was her weakest moments.

But soon things changed for her. She began to take notice that when she allowed Jacob to roam and find his passions, he seemed to normalize and even excel. Her mind began to change regarding the state’s overbearing approach to therapy, which was essentially just giving up.

via Mother Pulls Autistic Teen From State Run Therapy. And Then He Blossoms into a Genius. | The Edgy Truth.

18 Things to Remember If You Love a Person with OCD


Two simple words can destroy your life. Every minute, every second, of every hour all you hear is, “What if?” Every situation is potentially dangerous. Your heart and mind join forces becoming an evil villain that is out to destroy you and bring you down. That’s what if feels like if you have OCD.

The simplest things in life became huge mountains that are impossible to climb. A family vacation, a night out with friends, or a walk around the block is a death trap.

via 18 Things to Remember If You Love a Person with OCD.

It’s your ATTITUDE not your APTITUDE that determines your ALTITUDE


It’s your ATTITUDE not your APTITUDE that determines your ALTITUDE

May 01, 2013

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To be successful in any area in life you need to have the right attitude, which means you have to approach any task or job with determination, tenacity and above all plenty of enthusiasm.

In business, when it comes to choosing the right individual for a certain post or promotion, I have always gone for people who have PMA – in other words Positive Mental Attitude.

Leadership and business management comes with its own set of challenges and pressures and it is a common mistake to let these problems and distractions become the major focus – that is why it is so important for senior managers to always look forward rather than backwards.

Of course, it is important for people to have skills, training and experience but I have always been a huge believer in putting attitude above aptitude. You can come fully equipped for a role but without real enthusiasm the best skill-set will count for very little. You can train somebody and give them the tools but you can’t give them the right attitude.

In my view there are two types of people in this world, and those who take the glass half empty approach are simply setting themselves up for failure no matter what targets they set themselves.

In any situation in life, people are looking for leaders to guide and direct them. That is particularly the case when you are going through a difficult or challenging period in the development of a company. Always remember there is only one person watching them and hundreds watching you.

I have always been a believer in leading by example and the nature or character of an organization is more often than not shaped by the person at the top – that is why it is so important for senior executives to set the right tone and atmosphere.

Staff can instinctively grasp when something is not right within a business and it is vital not to panic and send out the wrong message during those difficult times and tough trading conditions – in other words stay positive.

More importantly, having the right attitude can have a real impact on the business in terms of its performance. There are too many organizations which allow a blame culture to flourish without properly understanding the negative effect it can have on the business.

When I have a bad month in my organization, I get the senior management team together to discuss the reasons why performance isn’t the best. About 20 per cent of the meeting is normally taken up with looking at exactly what went wrong and the rest is spent discussing how to put the problem right.

Of course, it is really important to understand why something has not worked but it is even more important not to get caught up with the process of looking backwards. A firm which prefers to look to the past rather than to the future is always going to struggle in the long term.

The key to real success is an ability to adapt to change, and that will never happen if you approach every challenge with a negative attitude. People with the right mental attitude can always take something positive from a difficult situation and most important of all, will be constantly looking at ways of moving a business on to the next stage of its journey or development.

James Caan

http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20130501104129-32175171-it-s-your-attitude-not-your-aptitude-that-determines-your-altitude

I hope you enjoyed…

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

Life Coach; What is it


life-coaching2What Is Life Coaching?

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler."

–Henry David Thoreau  

Life Coaching is a profession that is profoundly different from consulting, mentoring, advice, therapy, or counseling. The coaching process addresses specific personal projects, business successes, general conditions and transitions in the client’s personal life, relationships or profession by examining what is going on right now, discovering what your obstacles or challenges might be, and choosing a course of action to make your life be what you want it to be.

How Does Life Coaching Work?

The Life Coaching Format:

  • Complimentary Coaching Consultation
  • 60 to 90 minute "Discovery" first session
  • One 30 to 90 minute phone call per week
  • Unlimited Email support
  • Occasional brief check-in calls

Life Coaching is a designed alliance between coach and client where the coaching relationship continually gives all the power back to you, the client. We believe that you know the answers to every question or challenge you may have in your life, even if those answers appear to be obscured, concealed or hidden inside.

Our skills are about knowing the right questions to ask and having the right tools and techniques to empower you to find those answers within yourself.

You, the client, are the only expert in your entire life who truly knows who you are and what you need. You are the only expert who can recognize what is absolutely best for you. We are simply experts in the coaching process. As your coach, we help you discover what your own personal "best" might be.

Every day we make choices to do or not do many things. These choices may range from profound to trivial and each one has an effect that makes our lives more fulfilling or less fulfilling, more balanced or less balanced, that make our process of living more effective or less effective. Life coaching helps you learn how to make choices that create an effective, balanced and fulfilling life.

We help you connect your head and your heart in a way that transforms your passion for your dreams into action for your life.

We are highly trained as generalists and can coach superbly on any aspect of life. However, we may choose to specialize in one or more of the following areas :

  • Relationships and Intimacy
  • Stress Management and Balance
  • Spirituality and Personal Growth
  • Entrepreneurial and Small Business Development
  • Career Planning and Development
  • Motivation and Time Management
  • Creativity for Artists, Writers, Musicians and Performers
  • Finances and Budgeting
  • Health, Aging, Lifestyle and Self-Care
  • Family and Parenting
  • And much more

    An interesting article on Coaching ( Top 10 professional life coaching myths)

    why it works

    Unlike other forms of self-help or therapy, life coaching offers a new look on basic human needs. Partnership, support and know-how are areas that distinguish life coaching from other therapies.

    Partnership

    Tiger Woods, at the top of his game, still works on improving his skills. For this, he relies on his coach to make sure he still has the edge. A similar bond exists between the life coach and the client.

    Support

    Individuals are better able to make big decisions when they have the support of friends, family, peers, or a life coach. With a life coach a client is more comfortable taking bigger strides to getting the job done and making the appropriate changes toward a better life.

    Know-how

    It’s always best to pick a coach that has walked a similar line in life as you have. The coach will know how to help the client achieve his goal — whether it is to make more money or simply to make better decisions.

    life coach vs. therapist

    Life coaching and therapy are both based on support, trust and complete confidentiality. They also make equal use of listening skills and non-judgmental attitudes toward the client.
    Some say that therapy deals with the past and handling emotional pain; whereas, coaching deals more with the near future and devising action plans toward a specific goal.
    You can’t move toward the future without turning the page on the past. Attaining a life coach is recommended after unresolved matters are settled. Coaching may not be what you need if you have unresolved issues of the past. On the same token, if you need coaching you don’t need to get therapy first.
    A therapist often seeks insight and understanding of a person’s psyche rather than focusing on strategies and life plans. Coaches are not perceived as experts — they are more or less a person with knowledge and skill, which they use to help clients achieve their goals. Coaches encourage and support the client while giving valuable advice to achieve specific life goals.
    The major difference between a life coach and a therapist is the relationship between the client and the coach. The synergy between the two goes beyond what standard therapy offers. The sessions are not confined to the usual meeting rooms — more and more people contact their coach by phone, e-mail or even meet for a quick drink.

     

    Need a life coach?

    Only you will know if you really need a life coach or not. The following list of questions may help you decide:

    • Do you often feel overwhelmed from the daily tasks at hand?
    • Do you feel like you’re living life unconsciously?
    • Do you suffer from low self-esteem?
    • Do you feel like everyone seems to have a master plan but you?
    • Is there a lack of support in your life?
    • Do you feel like the whole world is out to get you?
    • Are you going through difficult times in life and need a helping hand?
    • Do you have deadlines you just can’t deal with and don’t know how to cope?

    Answering yes to any of the above questions doesn’t necessarily mean you need therapy, but might suggest that you could benefit from some life coaching.

     

    Is coaching right for you?

    Before you frantically flip through the phone book for some help, step back and ask what exactly you wish to accomplish with a coach. Once you establish this, a life coach can strategize a winning plan to help you attain your goals.

    Life coaching may not be the best option for you if you have a hard time digesting constructive criticism or you just don’t think you can devote the time and energy to make a change for the better. Due to the partnership approach of coaching, it is vital that the client be open and willing to the experience.

    Read more: http://www.askmen.com/money/body_and_mind_100/141b_better_living.html#ixzz2W0J8tFxe

     

    Interested in bettering your life, want to grow personally and professionally, but find it hard to get motivated? Then maybe a Life Coach is what you are looking for, a Life Coach can help you stay on track, define your goals and help you achieve your dreams. Why not make a call that can change your life, to find out more, visit http://guidedinsight.wix.com/guidedinsight and set up your free session.

    God Bless

    Paul Sposite

    Guided Insight Life Coach

    Holistic Health


    I believe in natural remedies and try to use them when ever I can, luckily I have a holistic doctor I trust with my life. Dr. Kim has been able to get me off of all my prescription and on to natural supplements  and I have never felt better, except one thing that never seemed to go away, my constant feel of no energy  I was tired from the time awoke until the time I went to bed, nothing the doctors (Dr. Kim and my MD) did seemed to help, until I discovered ASEA, a water supplement that has changed everything.

    What is ASEA

    It’s not just natural. It’s native.

    ASEA is trillions of stable, perfectly balanced Redox Signaling Molecules suspended in a pristine saline solution—the same molecules that exist in the cells of the human body.

    Redox Signaling is a function that is central to all life on the planet. Redox Signaling molecules are created within every cell of the body and are vital to the immune system and to cellular healing mechanisms. They are so essential to life that without them, you would die within seconds. A proper supply of Redox Signaling molecules enables cellular healing: damaged, dysfunctional cells fading away and healthy, vibrant cells taking over.

    Redox Signaling molecules are vital for the health of your cells; that’s why your body makes its own supply. But after the age of 12, our cells make fewer and fewer of these molecules. ASEA is the world’s only source for replenishing Redox Signaling molecules.

    http://paulsposite.teamasea.com/src/enterprise/images/5IJKUEGSATFRNARGVGYRVJEHTICSKHQJDFSGABBBCJLYLNRIHOI881.jpg

    I have taken ASEA for about one week now, and truth be told, I felt it taking effect from day one, my energy levels have never been higher. But it is not like a caffeine buzz, no energy drink high than crash, just a nice, natural energy flow… I can’t explain it, and I wont try, but I will tell you, You Need To Try ASEA For Yourself and See! 

    Check out my website: http://paulsposite.teamasea.com/Default.aspx and find out more….

    ASEA web

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