10 Ways You’re Making Your Life Harder Than It Has To Be


BY: Tim Hoch

Original Post

1.You ascribe intent.

Another driver cut you off. Your friend never texted you back. Your co-worker went to lunch without you. Everyone can find a reason to be offended on a steady basis. So what caused you to be offended? You assigned bad intent to these otherwise innocuous actions. You took it as a personal affront, a slap in the face.

Happy people do not do this. They don’t take things personally. They don’t ascribe intent to the unintentional actions of others.

2. You’re the star of your own movie.

It is little wonder that you believe the world revolves around you. After all, you have been at the very center of every experience you have ever had.

You are the star of your own movie. You wrote the script. You know how you want it to unfold. You even know how you want it to end.

Unfortunately you forgot to give your script to anyone else. As a result, people are unaware of the role they are supposed to play. Then, when they screw up their lines, or fail to fall in love with you or don’t give you a promotion, your movie is ruined.

Lose your script. Let someone else star once in awhile. Welcome new characters. Embrace plot twists.

3. You fast forward to apocalypse.

I have a bad habit of fast forwarding everything to its worst possible outcome and being pleasantly surprised when the result is marginally better than utter disaster or jail time. My mind unnecessarily wrestles with events that aren’t even remotely likely. My sore throat is cancer. My lost driver’s license fell into the hands of an al-Qaeda operative who will wipe out my savings account.

Negativity only breeds more negativity. It is a happiness riptide. It will carry you away from shore and if you don’t swim away from it, will pull you under.

4. You have unrealistic and/or uncommunicated expectations.

Among their many shortcomings of your family and friends is the harsh reality that they cannot read your mind or anticipate your whims.

Did your boyfriend forget the six and a half month anniversary of your first movie date? Did your girlfriend refuse to call at an appointed hour? Did your friend fail to fawn over your tribal tattoo?

Unmet expectations will be at the root of most of your unhappiness in life. Minimize your expectations, maximize your joy.

5. You are waiting for a sign.

I have a friend who won’t make a decision without receiving a “sign.” I suppose she is waiting on a trumpeted announcement from God. She is constantly paralyzed by a divinity that is either heavily obscured or frustratingly tardy. I’m not disavowing that fate or a higher power plays a role in our lives. I’m just saying that it is better to help shape fate than be governed by it.

6. You don’t take risks.

Two words: Live boldly. Every single time you are offered a choice that involves greater risk, take it. You will lose on many of them but when you add them up at the end of your life you’ll be glad you did.

7. You constantly compare your life to others.

A few years ago I was invited to a nice party at a big warehouse downtown. I was enjoying the smooth jazz, box wine and crustless sandwiches. What more could a guy want? Later in the evening I noticed a steady parade of well-heeled people slide past and disappear into another room. I peeked and saw a large party with beautiful revelers dancing and carrying on like Bacchus. Suddenly my gig wasn’t as fun as it had been all because it didn’t appear to measure up to the party next door- a party I didn’t even know existed until just moments before.

I do this frequently. Those people are having more fun. Mary has a bigger boat. Craig gets all the lucky breaks. Ted has more money. John is better looking.

Stop it.

Always remember what Teddy Roosevelt said: “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

8. You let other people steal from you.

If you had a million dollars in cash under your mattress, you would check it regularly and take precautions to insure it is safe. The one possession you have that is more important than money is time. But you don’t do anything to protect it. In fact you willingly give it to thieves. Selfish people, egotistical people, negative people, people who won’t shut up. Treat your time like Fort Knox. Guard it closely and give it only to those who deserve and respect it.

9. You can’t/won’t let go.

These are getting a little harder aren’t they? That’s because sometimes you have to work at happiness. Some hurdles are too difficult to clear by simply adjusting your point of view or adopting a positive mindset.

Do you need to forgive someone? Do you need to turn your back on a failed relationship? Do you need to come to terms with the death of a loved one?

Life is full of loss. But, in a sense, real happiness would not be possible without it.  It helps us appreciate and savor the things that really matter. It helps us grow. It can help us help others grow.

Closure is a word for people who have never really suffered. There’s no such thing. Just try to “manage” your loss. Put it in perspective. You will always have some regret and doubt about your loss. You may always second guess yourself. If only you had said this, or tried that.

You’re not alone. Find someone who understands and talk to that person. Reach out for support. If all else fails, try #10 below.

10. You don’t give back.

One way to deal with loss is to immerse yourself in doing good. Volunteer. Get involved in life.

It doesn’t even have to be a big, structured thing. Say a kind word. Encourage someone. Pay a visit to someone who is alone. Get away from your self-absorption.

When it comes down to it, there are two types of people in this world. There are givers and there are takers. Givers are happy. Takers are miserable. What are you?

Advice on Being a Man from 8 Friendly Neighborhood Barbers | The Art of Manliness


adviceDay in and day out barbers shoot the breeze with the wide variety of men who walk into their shops. As these men settle in the barber’s chair and get a trim, they share tidbits about their lives, their problems, and their observations on the world today. Since barbers spend so much time listening to and talking with other men, we figured they might have accumulated some pearls of wisdom on how men can live life well. So we asked 8 barbers from a wide range of ages, experience, and backgrounds to answer this question: “What’s your best advice on being a man?” The responses we got range from the philosophical to practical style advice. Soak it up, and go have an enjoyable conversation and a relaxing shave with your local barber.

via Advice on Being a Man from 8 Friendly Neighborhood Barbers | The Art of Manliness.

Life Coach; What is it


life-coaching2What Is Life Coaching?

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler."

–Henry David Thoreau  

Life Coaching is a profession that is profoundly different from consulting, mentoring, advice, therapy, or counseling. The coaching process addresses specific personal projects, business successes, general conditions and transitions in the client’s personal life, relationships or profession by examining what is going on right now, discovering what your obstacles or challenges might be, and choosing a course of action to make your life be what you want it to be.

How Does Life Coaching Work?

The Life Coaching Format:

  • Complimentary Coaching Consultation
  • 60 to 90 minute "Discovery" first session
  • One 30 to 90 minute phone call per week
  • Unlimited Email support
  • Occasional brief check-in calls

Life Coaching is a designed alliance between coach and client where the coaching relationship continually gives all the power back to you, the client. We believe that you know the answers to every question or challenge you may have in your life, even if those answers appear to be obscured, concealed or hidden inside.

Our skills are about knowing the right questions to ask and having the right tools and techniques to empower you to find those answers within yourself.

You, the client, are the only expert in your entire life who truly knows who you are and what you need. You are the only expert who can recognize what is absolutely best for you. We are simply experts in the coaching process. As your coach, we help you discover what your own personal "best" might be.

Every day we make choices to do or not do many things. These choices may range from profound to trivial and each one has an effect that makes our lives more fulfilling or less fulfilling, more balanced or less balanced, that make our process of living more effective or less effective. Life coaching helps you learn how to make choices that create an effective, balanced and fulfilling life.

We help you connect your head and your heart in a way that transforms your passion for your dreams into action for your life.

We are highly trained as generalists and can coach superbly on any aspect of life. However, we may choose to specialize in one or more of the following areas :

  • Relationships and Intimacy
  • Stress Management and Balance
  • Spirituality and Personal Growth
  • Entrepreneurial and Small Business Development
  • Career Planning and Development
  • Motivation and Time Management
  • Creativity for Artists, Writers, Musicians and Performers
  • Finances and Budgeting
  • Health, Aging, Lifestyle and Self-Care
  • Family and Parenting
  • And much more

    An interesting article on Coaching ( Top 10 professional life coaching myths)

    why it works

    Unlike other forms of self-help or therapy, life coaching offers a new look on basic human needs. Partnership, support and know-how are areas that distinguish life coaching from other therapies.

    Partnership

    Tiger Woods, at the top of his game, still works on improving his skills. For this, he relies on his coach to make sure he still has the edge. A similar bond exists between the life coach and the client.

    Support

    Individuals are better able to make big decisions when they have the support of friends, family, peers, or a life coach. With a life coach a client is more comfortable taking bigger strides to getting the job done and making the appropriate changes toward a better life.

    Know-how

    It’s always best to pick a coach that has walked a similar line in life as you have. The coach will know how to help the client achieve his goal — whether it is to make more money or simply to make better decisions.

    life coach vs. therapist

    Life coaching and therapy are both based on support, trust and complete confidentiality. They also make equal use of listening skills and non-judgmental attitudes toward the client.
    Some say that therapy deals with the past and handling emotional pain; whereas, coaching deals more with the near future and devising action plans toward a specific goal.
    You can’t move toward the future without turning the page on the past. Attaining a life coach is recommended after unresolved matters are settled. Coaching may not be what you need if you have unresolved issues of the past. On the same token, if you need coaching you don’t need to get therapy first.
    A therapist often seeks insight and understanding of a person’s psyche rather than focusing on strategies and life plans. Coaches are not perceived as experts — they are more or less a person with knowledge and skill, which they use to help clients achieve their goals. Coaches encourage and support the client while giving valuable advice to achieve specific life goals.
    The major difference between a life coach and a therapist is the relationship between the client and the coach. The synergy between the two goes beyond what standard therapy offers. The sessions are not confined to the usual meeting rooms — more and more people contact their coach by phone, e-mail or even meet for a quick drink.

     

    Need a life coach?

    Only you will know if you really need a life coach or not. The following list of questions may help you decide:

    • Do you often feel overwhelmed from the daily tasks at hand?
    • Do you feel like you’re living life unconsciously?
    • Do you suffer from low self-esteem?
    • Do you feel like everyone seems to have a master plan but you?
    • Is there a lack of support in your life?
    • Do you feel like the whole world is out to get you?
    • Are you going through difficult times in life and need a helping hand?
    • Do you have deadlines you just can’t deal with and don’t know how to cope?

    Answering yes to any of the above questions doesn’t necessarily mean you need therapy, but might suggest that you could benefit from some life coaching.

     

    Is coaching right for you?

    Before you frantically flip through the phone book for some help, step back and ask what exactly you wish to accomplish with a coach. Once you establish this, a life coach can strategize a winning plan to help you attain your goals.

    Life coaching may not be the best option for you if you have a hard time digesting constructive criticism or you just don’t think you can devote the time and energy to make a change for the better. Due to the partnership approach of coaching, it is vital that the client be open and willing to the experience.

    Read more: http://www.askmen.com/money/body_and_mind_100/141b_better_living.html#ixzz2W0J8tFxe

     

    Interested in bettering your life, want to grow personally and professionally, but find it hard to get motivated? Then maybe a Life Coach is what you are looking for, a Life Coach can help you stay on track, define your goals and help you achieve your dreams. Why not make a call that can change your life, to find out more, visit http://guidedinsight.wix.com/guidedinsight and set up your free session.

    God Bless

    Paul Sposite

    Guided Insight Life Coach

    Mother, Daughter and John 15:13


    A friend of mine was texting me the other night with issues she was having with her daughter, Mothers Day had come and passed and all she received from her daughter was a text stating Happy Mothers Day. Shallow and cold, I will admit, but not unexpected. The relationship between them has always been a bit strained. Even as a young child, the daughter is now in her 20’s, she was a self-centered child. Looking to always serve her own interest. The blame, as always, lies between the parents and the personality of the child.

    Her parents are divorced, I do not know the father, but know the mother well. She holds on to the divorce live a badge, she will not let it go, never have and most likely never will. She is bitter and hurt. For what I do not know, for I only know one side of the story. And as we all know, one side of a two-sided story is never enough. What I do know is the deep roots this divorce has caused. I have known the mother for over 15 years, at one time we dated, and we have remained friends after the break-up. Her lack of ability to let it go causes much pain in her and those around her, this, of course, cause issues with-in the family unit. From what I can tell, based on what I have been told by the mother and the kids, she has two, a boy and girl, the father is not very concerned with rules. He is laid back and not very concerned with structure. Is that the case, I do not know, like I said I have never had the change to meet him. But it is the narrative played out in the kids and mother.

    The mother, she is controlling and likes structure, she is deeply emotional and likes lots of affirmations, one could say she is needy.  Is she a bad person, no, I think she has a big heart and means well, but I do think she has a difficult time defining love, to me it seems she places a tangible value on love and fails to see love as intangible. She needs to “see” love, the feeling is not enough.

    Sure, I will be the first to admit Love is many things, tangible and intangible, but I will also be the first to admit that Love is not one thing, it’s not seeing over feeling, and Love does not always show it self in the ways we would expect. Sometimes the smallest of acts, a smile at just the right moment, says Love more than the words could ever do, Sometimes, but not Always…

    Sometimes that same smile can be spiteful and hurtful… Love is…. What is it?

    The bible offers us many passages about love, but the one that came to mind when I was talking to my friend, trying to help her through the latest issue with her daughter was this…

    John 15:13

    13 Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.

    New American Standard Bible (NASB)

     

    Why this passage of all passages… The Holy Spirit works in odd ways, let me tell you….

    Some back ground of the conversations:

    As I said, the daughter text her “Happy Mothers Day” her son, who is in Mexico as part of his seminarian training, called her and talked for 2 hours. A drastic difference, but the two kids are as different as night and day, so not unexpected. But back to the issue at hand.

    She asked me what I thought of it all, my response, What did you expect from her. Her response, Love. This conversation went on for about 45 minutes (by the way, I hate texting).

    She asked for my advice on what she should do, my advice, same as it has been for a few years now, Stop expecting what she will not provide you. Her response, What, I should not expect my daughters love.

    Not exactly what I was talking about, I explained that she loves you, but you will never get the response you want, and if you keep setting yourself up for disappointment, that’s what you will always get.

    Still no go, her questions, Is it so wrong for a mother to want her child’s love. My response, No, it’s not wrong, but you cannot force anyone to love you in the way you want or need. Love does not force, it does not control and it is not needy. She did not really like that response from me. Sometimes the truth hurts.

    But she knows me well, and she knows I always speak my mind and tell it as I see it. No harm was intended and I am sure no harm was done. So she asked for clarification.

    My clarifications, We have to learn to accept the love that is offered, not try to change the love to be what we want. This did not help. She still felt that love was a tangible thing.

    Her plan of action

    The daughter’s birthday is next month, so her plan is to give her daughter a photo of the three of them, the mother and the two kids. Sounds nice, unless you know the daughter, and I do… She will reject this, not because she hates her brother and not because she hates her mother, but she will reject it out of spite. Just to retain the control over her mother. The more she rejects her mom, the more control she has over her. Her mothers need for tangible love is strong, and her mothers need to control is strong (she is a passive aggressive controller).So the rejection of the photo would only lead to the mother feeling hurt and trying to figure out what she can do to earn her daughters love. This, of course, gives the daughter all the power, and the mother none.

    My response to the planed gift, Not a good idea. Do not play into her hands. So what than should I do, was her next question.. Text her, Happy Birthday, and offer her a dinner. Leave it at that… She was not happy with that recommendation. Her concern, if the daughter rejects the dinner invite, that would hurt more, and she really wants to give the photo and birthday card.

    The real concern, she wants to gain the upper hand, to have control, to tug at her daughter’s heart-strings, and she thinks the family photo will do the trick.

    But she is missing the point, the text and dinner offer gives her the control, the daughter would not expect the same treatment she gives her mother. Now some would say I was being childish, but I beg to differ. The response is not meant to hurt, but to level the playing field, to stop setting oneself up for one disappointment after another, to start to accept the kind of love the daughter was offering and to learn that sometimes we must let go.

    So this is the point where I offered my bible verse:

    13 Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.

    The point of the passage was missed on her. But it was too late at night for me to get in to is, so I told her to think on it. She asked me to send her an email explaining it to her, so this post is my response (I will only send her the part concerning the passage, all the above back ground information is for us only…Unless she reads this blog…)

    Why did that passage pop into me head as a good passage to use? What was the Holy Spirit leading me to? And how do I explain it? Well here I will try:

    When most people read that passage, the first think that comes to mind is Jesus upon the cross, offering up His life for our sins. Offering it up freely… WOW, that is true love and friendship. So most of us think of it as the ultimate act of sacrifice for love and friendship, to offer ones life, and it is, if it is not takes to lightly. We read stories and see it on the news, people placing themselves in danger for a child or a loved one, we even see it being done for total strangers (think Boston Marathon bombing).

    The gift of life should never be taken lightly and should never be given lightly. But is that the only way one can lay down ones life for a friend? I think not!

    *Parents lay down their life for their children on a daily basis. Not always by risking death, sometimes it is by stand by their child through a sickness or by supporting a child through hard times. The love of a parent knows no bounds. The parent knows that rejection of the love is always a possibility, but it is offered anyway, parents know a child my do something that may go beyond anything they may have ever dreamed their child was capable of (think school shootings), but even than a parent will stand by their child. They may not approve of the child’s actions, they may even be the ones to turn them in to the authorities, but there love for that child does not falter. They are willing to take the mean words offered to them by others who do not understand, that will defend their child even if it means they to are persecuted. This is a death they are willing to undertake for their child. Not a physical death, but yet, it is still a death.

    Consider a parent of an addict, they offer help and forgiveness to their child, they take them in and support them, only to have the addiction take over their child, yet again. But they continue to support and make excuse for the child, to shelter them from the crudeness of the world. Thinking that they are helping the child, suffering with the child, only to see the child falter again. This is not laying down ones life, it is protection of ones own life. The child needs to learn how to fail, so they can learn how not to fail. For the parent this means to let the child fail, and in doing so, they to will feel the failures the disappointments and resentment of and from the child. This is a death, but like the death of Jesus, there is a resurrection, a new life.

    The new life comes from the child’s understanding that actions have consequences, that the addiction causes pain. But if the parent kept sheltering the child, the pain is always shifted to the parent, the child takes no responsibility for their actions. But by the parent allowing the child to feel the failure the parent is also allowing the child to grow to learn and to experience a new life. And the parent is also allowed to grow, to learn and to experience a new life. This most likely will not happen in tandem with each other, the parent may experience the new life before the child even realizes what has just happened, or the parent may take years to come to terms with the fact that they allowed their child to fail. But in the end, Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends… And a life can be laid down in many ways.

    God Bless

    Paul Sposite

    Guided Insight Life Coach

    * The examples are given to illustrate a point, I am not implying that this is always the case. And before anyone starts yelling at me about the addiction example, yes I do understand additions, yes, I know what I am talking about… But remember, it was an example, not a real life situation, so deal with it…

     

     

     

     

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    Words have power


    Below is an article form my local community newspaper, I thought it was worth sharing….

    Who doesn’t love the power of words?

    By Susan Willett

    In my business, one has to love words. True, some of my favorites and most often used remain unprintable in a family (or any other) newspaper, but still, one simply has to love the power and beauty of words. I mean, what can’t they do? They can bring one great joy, terrible agony and nearly every emotion in between, depending on the skill of their user. The pen really can be mightier than the sword, as long as one isn’t attempting to defend oneself in a duel, I guess. So last month when the Wayne State Word Warriors revealed their list of words most worth of retrieval and reentry in common usage, I was especially interested. In a preface to the list, the Warriors explained that most of these words have fallen out of common use and are on the brink of obsolescence. Bringing them back, said Jerry Herron, the dean of the Honors College, "is just another way of broadening our horizons." Well butter my buns and call me a biscuit, Jerry, but to my great consternation, many of these haven’t really fallen out of usage with some old fogies, such as myself. I was way too familiar with several of them, which made me feel as antiquated as, well, as some of the others sound. Here’s the list, see what you think. • Buncombe Rubbish; nonsense; empty or misleading talk. What a relief to have the election over — that great festival of buncombe that so distracted the nation for months. • Cerulean The blue of the sky. Her eyes were a clear, deep cerulean blue, like no eyes Trevor had ever seen, and looking into them made him feel lighter than air. • Chelonian Like a turtle (and who doesn’t like turtles?). Weighed down by bickering and blather, the farm bill crept through Congress at a chelonian pace. • Dragoon To compel by coercion; to force someone to do something they’d rather not. After working in the yard all day, Michael was dragooned into going to the ballet instead of flopping down to watch the Redwings on TV. • Fantods Extreme anxiety, distress, nervousness or irritability. Jeremy’s love of islands was tempered by the fact that driving over high bridges always gave him the raging fantods. • Mawkish Excessively sentimental; sappy; hopelessly trite. To her surprise, Beth found Robert’s words of love to be so mawkish that they made her feel sticky, as though she were being painted with molasses. • Natter To talk aimlessly, often at great length; rarely, it means simply to converse. You can tell our staff meetings are winding down when everybody starts nattering about their kids. • Persiflage Banter; frivolous talk. Emma hoped to get Lady Astor into a serious conversation, but as long as the King was around she could elicit only persiflage and gossip. • Troglodyte Literally, a cave-dweller. More frequently a backward, mentally sluggish person. Susan felt she could have saved the company if only the troglodytes in management had taken her advice. • Winkle To pry out or extract something; from the process of removing the snail from an edible periwinkle. Jack showed no inclination to leave his seat beside Alice, but Roger was determined towinkle him out of that chair no matter what it took. See what I mean? I may be mawkishly nattering on at a chelonian pace, but trogdolytes who can’t winkle some fun out of words give me the fantods. They should be dragooned into a library until the persiflage and buncombe of their vocabularies is transformed into a cerulean streak of intelligent discourse.

    http://www.associatednewspapers.net/editions/eagle013113/index.html#/6/zoomed

    I hope you enjoyed….

     

    God Bless

    Paul Sposite

    Guided Insight Life Coach 

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    The Three Types of Change


    word-cloud-change

    All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward.

    Ellen Glasgow

    Being interested in and involved in the “Change” industry, I found this quote to be dead on, All too often we tend to think that if we are changing, it must be a positive thing, that we must be growing is some manner. Nothing could be further from the truth. Some change is neutral, you neither move forward nor back, your just stand still. Yet other changes seems to be more positive, we move forward, all-be-it, sometimes a little too slow for our liking, but it’s still a move forward. Change can also move us backwards, much to our dismay.

    Let us look at each type of change and discover its potential:

    Neutral Change:

    The process of non-change, as it where, in the natural state we are neither moving forward nor back, we are just there. This state of being, I would venture, is the most common state. The state of contentment or resignation, we neither desire to change or do not possess the motivation to enact the steps necessary to change. In this state there is no complaining about your current state, but it does not mean you are satisfied with your current life, you may be, but you may also be just resigned to the fact that this is your life. This state can be a sort of sloth, a laziness or true contentment.

    Forward Change:

    This change is what most people would consider a positive change, a change that is moving you from one state to a new state. This is true, in a forward state you are moving in a new direction. However, the move may or may not be a positive move. For example, you may decide that you wish to advance your situation at work, to become a manager. To help you achieve this goal you start to read books on leadership and management. However, in your search for the right books, you are given bad advice and read books that teach you skills that cause you to back stab and claw your way to the top. You have now moved in a new direction, but that direction is not positive. It is not life affirming it is a direction that may get you that management position, but along the way you have destroyed yourself, and your relationships. Forward change is not always positive; we must pay close attention to how we go about achieving the change we desire.

    Backward Change:

    Using the example from above, you have now achieved your goal, you are a manager. Yet along the way you backstabbed many friends and you have neglected your relationships. Your life, simple, is a wreck. You have seen your failures, and no longer wish to remain the person you have become. You desire change. At this junction you have three choices. 1. Stay the course; learn to live with what you are. (Neutral) 2. Move forward, correction the misguided choices of the past. 3. Return back; Undo the changes to return to your former self.

    This third choice, to move back, sounds like a retreat that you are giving up. However, nothing could be further from the truth. Ask any good General, and they will tell you that you need to know when to retreat. That a well-timed retreat can mean the difference between victory and defeat.

    There are times in all our lives that we need to return to our past. Times that we must go back in order to truly move forward. In the example above, you may decide that returning to the “old” you bay be the best starting point to move forward to the “new” you. Especially if you never felt comfortable in the “current” you, you just created. Retreating to safety, back behind the lines, does not mean you are giving up the ground you have taken. Returning to the old you doesn’t mean you give up your new management position. However, it does mean that you must reevaluate your current position and decide if it fits into your new tactical plan.

    Change is not a single war to be won, it is many battles, some are victories others are defeats and some are draws. Nevertheless, each battle is a part of the overall war. Only in war can an army lose most of the battles, yet still win the war. We must learn to choose our battles, to plan our attach and our retreats. Learn to be content with a draw and retreat as we are with a victory.

    Recommended Reading:

    Each of the four books looks at change and life. The first two are historical in nature, but offer lessons that we all should learn. I have read each book, learned life lessons and gained insight in to myself and the world around me. Each book will teach you about the three types of changes and the power of each. Happy reading!

    Killing Lincoln

    By: Bill O`Reilly

    Publication Date: September 27, 2011

    killing

    A riveting historical narrative of the heart-stopping events surrounding the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, and the first work of history from mega-bestselling author Bill O’Reilly

    The anchor of The O’Reilly Factor recounts one of the most dramatic stories in American history—how one gunshot changed the country forever. In the spring of 1865, the bloody saga of America’s Civil War finally comes to an end after a series of increasingly harrowing battles. President Abraham Lincoln‘s generous terms for Robert E. Lee‘s surrender are devised to fulfill Lincoln’s dream of healing a divided nation, with the former Confederates allowed to reintegrate into American society. But one man and his band of murderous accomplices, perhaps reaching into the highest ranks of the U.S. government, are not appeased.

    In the midst of the patriotic celebrations in Washington D.C., John Wilkes Booth—charismatic ladies’ man and impenitent racist—murders Abraham Lincoln at Ford’s Theatre. A furious manhunt ensues and Booth immediately becomes the country’s most wanted fugitive. Lafayette C. Baker, a smart but shifty New York detective and former Union spy, unravels the string of clues leading to Booth, while federal forces track his accomplices. The thrilling chase ends in a fiery shootout and a series of court-ordered executions—including that of the first woman ever executed by the U.S. government, Mary Surratt. Featuring some of history’s most remarkable figures, vivid detail, and page-turning action, Killing Lincoln is history that reads like a thriller.

    Being George Washington

    By: Glenn Beck

    Publication Date: November 22, 2011

    george

    IF YOU THINK YOU KNOW GEORGE WASHINGTON, THINK AGAIN.

    This is the amazing true story of a real-life superhero who wore no cape and possessed no special powers—yet changed the world forever. It’s a story about a man whose life reads as if it were torn from the pages of an action novel: Bullet holes through his clothing. Horses shot out from under him. Unimaginable hardship. Disease. Heroism. Spies and double-agents. And, of course, the unmistakable hand of Divine Providence that guided it all.

    Being George Washington is a whole new way to look at history. You won’t simply read about the awful winter spent at Valley Forge—you’ll live it right alongside Washington. You’ll be on the boat with him crossing the Delaware, in the trenches with him at Yorktown, and standing next to him at the Constitutional Convention as a new republic is finally born.

    Through these stories you’ll not only learn our real history (and how it applies to today), you’ll also see how the media and others have distorted our view of it. It’s ironic that the best-known fact about George Washington—that he chopped down a cherry tree—is a complete lie. It’s even more ironic when you consider that a lie was thought necessary to prove he could not tell one.

    For all of his heroism and triumphs, Washington’s single greatest accomplishment was the man he created in the process: courageous and principled, fair and just, respectful to all. But he was also something else: flawed.

    It’s those flaws that should give us hope for today. After all, if Washington had been perfect, then there would be no way to build another one. That’s why this book is not just about being George Washington in 1776, it’s about the struggle to be him every single day of our lives. Understanding the way he turned himself from an uneducated farmer into the Indispensable (yet imperfect) Man, is the only way to build a new generation of George Washington’s that can take on the extraordinary challenges that America is once again facing.

    Seeds of Success

    By: Bill and Billy Moyer (Father and Son)

    Publication Date: 2008

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    This book serves as a wake up call for men and women of all ages and occupations by helping them balance their lives and realize what matters most. Will you choose success or significance? "Take a look in mirror, and redefine what matters most."–Patrick Morley

    How to Think Like Leonardo da Vinci: Seven Steps to Genius Every Day

    By: Michael J. Gelb

    Publication Date: February 8, 2000

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    Genius is made, not born. And human beings are gifted with an almost unlimited potential for learning and creativity. Now you can uncover your own hidden abilities, sharpen your senses, and liberate your unique intelligence—by following the example of the greatest genius of all time, Leonardo da Vinci.
    Acclaimed author Michael J. Gelb, who has helped thousands of people expand their minds to accomplish more than they ever thought possible, shows you how. Drawing on Da Vinci’s notebooks, inventions, and legendary works of art, Gelb introduces Seven Da Vinci an Principles—the essential elements of genius—from curiosity, the insatiably curious approach to life to concessioner, the appreciation for the interconnectedness of all things. With Da Vinci as your inspiration, you will discover an exhilarating new way of thinking. And step-by-step, through exercises and provocative lessons, you will harness the power—and awesome wonder—of your own genius, mastering such life-changing abilities as:
    •Problem solving
    •Creative thinking
    •Self-expression
    •Enjoying the world around you
    •Goal setting and life balance
    •Harmonizing body and mind
    Drawing on Da Vinci’s notebooks, inventions, and legendary works of art, acclaimed author Michael J. Gelb, introduces seven Da Vinci an principles, the essential elements of genius, from curiosity, the insatiably curious approach to life, to concessioner, the appreciation for the interconnectedness of all things. With Da Vinci as their inspiration, readers will discover an exhilarating new way of thinking.
    Step-by-step, through exercises and provocative lessons, anyone can harness the power and awesome wonder of their own genius, mastering such life-changing skills as problem solving, creative thinking, self-expression, goal setting and life balance, and harmonizing body and mind.

    Please let me know of other books you feel would be good reads for all. Post them here for all to see.

    God Bless

    Paul Sposite

     

    Guided Insight Life Coach

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    Attitude, you got one?


    The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind.

    ~William James (1842 – 1910)

    Attitude…. What a powerful word.

    manner, disposition, feeling, position, etc., with regard to a person or thing; tendency or orientation, especially of the mind: a negative attitude; group attitudes. (Source)

    Notice the one little section that states “Especially of the mind” our attitude is just that, ours. We control it, it does not (or at least should not) control us. Yet all too often, we allow it to just that, our attitude all too often becomes a commentary on outside forces. We allow forces that we cannot control, friends, work, and weather, to control us. Attitude is not beyond our control, it is within our control, if we would only take control.

    I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.

    ~Martha Washington (1732 – 1802)

    Martha Washington, the wife of George Washington lived a hard life. A life of service to her country, a life of war and peace a life that called upon her many times to sacrifice. You will not read it in the history books, but she did. She had to be a woman of great courage and one of positive attitude. She had to be selfless in all she did, for she allowed her husband to go off to war and lead a revolution that, by all accounts, could not be won. She left to take care of the farm. She again offered her husband to our new and struggling nation to attend the constitutional conventions, a thankless and long task, leaving Martha to tend to the family farm, once again. Still more was asked of her, as she and George we honored with the task of becoming the first leader of this Great Nation, no simple task. No, hers was not a life of leisure and pleasure; hers was a life of service and attitude. Yep, Attitude… Martha, based on what I have read of her, was a remarkable woman, one of strong opinions and full of positive attitude. We all can learn a lot from not only George Washington, but his wife Martha as well.

    Jesus has something to say about our attitudes as well, He provides us with the Beatitudes as a guide to follow.

    (Source)

    Reading the Beatitudes can be a hard task, if you do not understand how to read them. If you do not understand the meaning behind them. However, put simply, Jesus is telling us, we are in control or our outlook, our attitudes towards life and self. To the poor He promises the Kingdom, to those that mourn, comfort and so on. But what is He saying? Is Jesus saying that the poor are the only ones to see the Kingdom and the mournful the only ones to receive comfort? Nope, not at all. The poor is not referring to the lack of money, but rather the lack of faith, yet in this lack I should not despair, for Jesus states I will see the Kingdom. So rejoice and be glad, for the Kingdom of God is at hand.

    It is our attitude we control, we have the power to see the glass as half full or half-empty, and the Beatitudes are lessons in seeing the glass as half full. What a valuable lesson. A lesson that has been taught over the centuries by many a great teacher, none greater than Jesus, but still many a great teachers. Yet it is a lesson we still need to learn. Knowing that I am poor in Spirit, yet will still see the Kingdom of God does not mean I stop trying to deepen my faith, sit back and just wait, rather it means I double down and study, learn and grow in my spirit, knowing that it will always fall short, but also knowing that Jesus understands, and the Kingdom will still be at hand. That is the power…

    Dr. Wayne Dyer states, “Change the way you look at things, and the things you are looking at will change”, so true and so powerful, yet most of us refuse to do so. Changing our outlook, our attitude, is not easy, we have been programmed to accept that this is the way it is, outside forces determine our attitude, and we have no control over it. Such a false understanding, yet it is the understanding the majority of people have. How often I have heard “They can’t help it, that just how they are, that’s who they are”… To state it directly and simply, that’s just bull crap, a cop-out, we all have control of our lives, we all can change out attitudes, our outlook, and determine for ourselves what our future will be. We just have to work at it…

    The task is hard, the journey long and the pitfalls will be many, your drive will wane and your ego will protest, but it can be done, you can change your attitude, you can see the glass as half full, if you only work at it. Yes, sometimes I do see that 1/2 empty glass, but in moments like this I know it is my ego driving my attitude and not my soul, not my being. At times like this I step back and breathe deeply, re-focus my thoughts and realign my attitude, and re-image the glass as 1/2 full yet again. It is a mammoth task at times, but the pay-off is always worth the effort. The feeling of control over the ego, the knowledge that I am in control on myself are well worth the effort.

    Attitude, you got one. I am sure you do, but the bigger question is, Attitude, you like the one you got? Is it a healthy attitude? Does it contribute to your overall happiness or is it a source of depression and discontentment? Try this, try taking an attitude assessment, simple write down your attitude towards things, family, work, life, politics, religion, faith, money and so on, rate them based on a 1 to 10 scale, 1 being extremely bad attitude and 10 being extremely positive attitude. Once you have completed this, look at your list, anything with a 6 or more score, consider good for now. Everything with a five or below score consider as areas that need improvement. Start with the 5’s, pick one, let us say its Job, and create an action plan to help you change your attitude. What can you do to create a new and better attitude concerning your current job? To help with this, write down all the aspects of your job that seems to be the source of your bad attitude. Look at each one and determine what action you can take to rectify this. It may be as simple as having a conversation with your boss or as complex as having to try and be transfers to a new department. Nevertheless, whatever the solution, whatever the problem, remembers you are in control of your attitude, no one else is!

    Once you have fixed the first on your list continue through the rest of the list, and before you know it, your attitude will be better. However, your work is not done yet, nope… Because you know that, your coworker or whatever the source off your discontentment was will not just roll over and play dead. So now, you need to learn tools to help you cope with issues that will pop up. Best advice, find a saying or prayer that you like, one that reminds of your ultimate goal, a more positive and productive attitude, make a copies of it, place on all your office wall, put one in your purse or wallet, tape one to your bathroom mirror and one on your car visor. Frame one to hang in your hall, in other words place this reminder all over the place, so when the need arrives, just look at, read it and take a step back to contemplate it. Refocus your thoughts and realign your attitude. It takes practice, but it can be done.

     

    Good luck and God Bless

    Paul Sposite

    Guided Insight Life Coach

    (Something to read, and help you with your attitude)

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