Not good enough for Her

The Salvation Army logo

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You ever wonder what makes people tick, how they process information, I do. But all to often it’s because of there stupidity that makes me think about this. Today is a perfect example.

As I stated in a previous post, my sister is having issues with someone she was trying to help out. The person being helped was ungrateful and selfish. He kids came second at best and she, well she always was first, over everyone and anything else.

Here is a perfect example.

Over the weekend I had her 2 younger boys. the ones that live with my sister. I took them up to Mackinaw for the day, they have never seen the Mighty Mac nor the great lakes and I wanted them to experience it. The day and weekend was perfect, we had a great time. To my shock, there mother called 2 times on Saturday, normally she never calls me to see how her boys are doing. But this weekend she not only called me 2 times on Saturday, but even stopped over on Sunday. I knew something was up, an I figured it was she wanted me to provider her with a place to stay. And I was right, Sunday morning she asked me if her and the 2 boys could move in. I was a little dumbfounded, but held it together. My response, a friendly “No, I don’t have space for you and the boys”. The truth, but not the whole reason. The whole reason, why on Gods green earth, would I take in a person who showed a total lack of respect to me and my sister over the last few months. Why would I take in someone who refused to pay rent, help out with house work and even care for her own two boys. What would posses her to even think I would. Well two things, 1) She thinks she does no wrong 2) her two boys, she knows that both my sister and I love them, and would take them in a heart beat. But I can not, nor would I live with such a selfish person.

This “thinking pattern”, if you can call it that, is a pattern of self destruction and self prophecy.

Self Prophecy

When I first met her, she was telling stories of woe-is-me. And being a person who always looks for the good side of everyone, I figured there must be truth is what she is saying. Maybe not 100% true, but at least 70%. I look for the good in all, she was, for the most part, a engaging person. Had good humor and liked to talk, mostly about herself, but if I was not friends with people just because they find themselves the most interesting topic, I would have fewer friends. But what I discovered over the past months or so, is that she is selfish, and childlike. Her actions are predictors to her future.

I am in the process of gaining guardianship over her eldest son, and the courts, as would be expected, want to know all involved parties and any person or persons who may have an interest in this case,such as he father. Granted, his father lives in Africa, but the courts still want to make sure that he is protected on all sides. As we filled out the paperwork for guardianship, the question of paternal responsibility came up. She informed me that his father was not on the birth certificate and that he had no contact at all with him. So that is what I filled out on the form. Well she was wrong and knew she was wrong. And because she lied, she had to make a petition to the Cameroon councilor and place an ad in the legal paper asking for any objections to the guardianship. I would have taken care of this, but I was leaving for vacation and would not be able to. Even thought it was not my responsibility to do so, I would have done it for the child, not her. So prior to my leaving I explained to her what needed to take place, she got mad, was not happy that the courts did not take her word for it, was not happy that she had to use her time to do all this, was not happy that they just did not do as she asked.

This reaction is not a one time reaction, if it was I may have over looked it, but on several occasions she has shown the same contempt for the American way of life, the way we help others the way we process:

1. The Salvation Army provides food boxes to the needy filled with donated food items. Not good enough for her, she don’t like the food, they should just give her the money and let her spend it on what she wants.

2. Saint Vincent DePaul provides vouchers for clothing, for her and her 3 boys, not good enough for her, she wants new clothing, its ok for the boys, but not her, and they should allow her to spend the vouchers on what ever she wants.

3. Local Catholic Churches providing assorted help require the person requesting the help to fill out a form with your name address and such along with a copy of your ID. Not her, they should not request any information, they should just give her what she wants, no questions asked.

When she would complain about such “harsh” treatment, I would just tell her that some people abuse the system and that they are a charity and need to protect themselves so they can help the people who truly need the help. Her response, “They should just give me what I want, why can’t the Government just provide for me”. My response “Because we are not a socialistic country, and the charities provide for you out of the goodness of the American people who donate.”

Nope, not for her, the Government should give her what she wants, not the charities, because the charities want to make her responsible, and she don’t want that.

So her actions have dictated her current situation. Today she is moving out of my sisters house, she has no plan, and cares little for what happens to her kids. They did not attend school today, and who knows were they will end up.

I am heart broken that her two younger boys will most likely not be a part of my life. That she is willing to uproot her boys for her own selfish reasons. But I can not control her actions, directly, but I can make sure that her actions are in the best interest of her kids. I will be calling her eldest sons case worker to let him know that she has moved out, so he can follow up and make sure that the two boys are in a safe environment. It is all I can do at the moment, that and pray that they will be safe and happy. And pray that we, my sister and I, will still be able to be apart of there lives.

I just don’t understand how some people think, or better yet, how some people seem not to think.

Pray for them…

God Bless


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