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Words have power


Below is an article form my local community newspaper, I thought it was worth sharing….

Who doesn’t love the power of words?

By Susan Willett

In my business, one has to love words. True, some of my favorites and most often used remain unprintable in a family (or any other) newspaper, but still, one simply has to love the power and beauty of words. I mean, what can’t they do? They can bring one great joy, terrible agony and nearly every emotion in between, depending on the skill of their user. The pen really can be mightier than the sword, as long as one isn’t attempting to defend oneself in a duel, I guess. So last month when the Wayne State Word Warriors revealed their list of words most worth of retrieval and reentry in common usage, I was especially interested. In a preface to the list, the Warriors explained that most of these words have fallen out of common use and are on the brink of obsolescence. Bringing them back, said Jerry Herron, the dean of the Honors College, "is just another way of broadening our horizons." Well butter my buns and call me a biscuit, Jerry, but to my great consternation, many of these haven’t really fallen out of usage with some old fogies, such as myself. I was way too familiar with several of them, which made me feel as antiquated as, well, as some of the others sound. Here’s the list, see what you think. • Buncombe Rubbish; nonsense; empty or misleading talk. What a relief to have the election over — that great festival of buncombe that so distracted the nation for months. • Cerulean The blue of the sky. Her eyes were a clear, deep cerulean blue, like no eyes Trevor had ever seen, and looking into them made him feel lighter than air. • Chelonian Like a turtle (and who doesn’t like turtles?). Weighed down by bickering and blather, the farm bill crept through Congress at a chelonian pace. • Dragoon To compel by coercion; to force someone to do something they’d rather not. After working in the yard all day, Michael was dragooned into going to the ballet instead of flopping down to watch the Redwings on TV. • Fantods Extreme anxiety, distress, nervousness or irritability. Jeremy’s love of islands was tempered by the fact that driving over high bridges always gave him the raging fantods. • Mawkish Excessively sentimental; sappy; hopelessly trite. To her surprise, Beth found Robert’s words of love to be so mawkish that they made her feel sticky, as though she were being painted with molasses. • Natter To talk aimlessly, often at great length; rarely, it means simply to converse. You can tell our staff meetings are winding down when everybody starts nattering about their kids. • Persiflage Banter; frivolous talk. Emma hoped to get Lady Astor into a serious conversation, but as long as the King was around she could elicit only persiflage and gossip. • Troglodyte Literally, a cave-dweller. More frequently a backward, mentally sluggish person. Susan felt she could have saved the company if only the troglodytes in management had taken her advice. • Winkle To pry out or extract something; from the process of removing the snail from an edible periwinkle. Jack showed no inclination to leave his seat beside Alice, but Roger was determined towinkle him out of that chair no matter what it took. See what I mean? I may be mawkishly nattering on at a chelonian pace, but trogdolytes who can’t winkle some fun out of words give me the fantods. They should be dragooned into a library until the persiflage and buncombe of their vocabularies is transformed into a cerulean streak of intelligent discourse.

http://www.associatednewspapers.net/editions/eagle013113/index.html#/6/zoomed

I hope you enjoyed….

 

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach 

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Posted by on February 5, 2013 in Education, History, Improvement, Media, news

 

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Retreat to Success: A Book Review


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Anyone who has read my blog or knows me, knows that I love to read. You would also know that I love to read all different types of books, from Catholic to Stephen King and everything in-between, reading is the elixir of life, books are your friend when no one else it, books are the educators that don’t judge and the parents that teach you silently. I love books, I love to read, even in this day-and-age of eBooks, I still prefer the good old fashion paper books.

When ever I travel I always bring a few books, on my last trip to Mexico City I brought along a Stephen King book, “The wind through the key hole” and “Bill & Billy Moyer and Amber Fogarty’s “Retreat to Success”. This is the second book I have read by Bill & Billy, their fist, “Seeds of Success” was a joy to read and I was looking forward to reading “Retreat to Success”.

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Like there first book, “Retreat” was short and to the point, something I love in self-help books. They see no reason to waste the reader’s time with lots of words, but rather, they get to the point and move on. Time is valuable and they understand this. But leaving out the unneeded words does nothing to diminish the effectiveness of this little book, in fact, if anything, it makes this book even more valuable is someone’s collection.

Each chapter of this book alternates between the three different authors as they journey together through a retreat. The insights they gain, the struggles they face and the lessons learned are laid out. Each unit contains the retreat masters questions and the attendees take-a-ways. Having attended weekend retreats before, I understand the mental and physical toll this can take on a person, the pure physical exhaustion one feels at the end of the retreat along with the feeling of accomplishment. I know, for me, that my mind races and new thoughts and ideas abound within me, and I seem to find new and exciting insights in every word uttered by the retreat master. To me that hard part is digesting the information, to find the one of two points that speak directly to my life, to my needs. Bill, Billy and Amber did just that, they where able to find the nuggets of information that not only spoke to them and there needs, but also to me. They made it personal, not only to themselves, but also personal to me. That is a hard thing to do, I know, I try to make that happen in each and every blog I write, it a fine wire between writhe an article that speaks to everyone and a journal that speaks to only the author, “Retreat to Success” does just that, if speaks to everyone.

I would recommend this book, along with their first book, to anyone who is serious about wanting to grow, to grow as a parent, a wife or husband or a business leader. Leadership is not just a corporate thing, in fact I would say that true leadership is more a  humanity thing than anything else. We all are leaders, or at least we all should be. By spend a few hours with a hot cup of tea, curled up in your favorite chair reading “Retreat to Success” will be time well spent. 

I love to read, I love to learn and I love to grow, and “Retreat to Success” fulfilled all three objectives. So what was my take-a-way from this book, what one nugget did I dig out of the book, that a goal should not be a tangible thing but an idea. For example, my goal should not be “I want to make a million dollars”, sure it’s a fine goal, but once I make it, than what. My goal should be “I want to be successful in my company”. The difference, the first goal places a value on my success, a million dollars, the second leaves room for continues improvement. Success is a moving target, something I need to always be monitoring and adjusting my actions to achieve, and in truth, one never fully achieves this goal, because success is a continuation, it never stops calling to you. Success is not measured by dollar amounts, but by relevance. How relevant are you? Whose life have you effected today, in a positive manner and how have your actions or lack of actions made a difference in the world around you, these are the measures of success, not how much money you have or how big your house is. Success is not things, success is legacy, what did you leave behind for others?

Read, learn and grow, the keys to success. Add Bill, Billy and Amber’s book “Retreat to Success” to your book collection, read it, learn from it and grow. It will be time well spent.

God Bless

paul

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

Link to their web site, SOS Leadership

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Words and Power


Benjamin Franklin

Benjamin Franklin (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Words are powerful things; they have the power to change history, to create revolution and to mend broken hearts. I was reminded of this fact this morning when I gave the following quote to a friend:

There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one’s self.

Benjamin Franklin

The quote is a tab bit hard to understand unless you take the time to see the words as they are. When I first read it, I read it as only two things, stealing a diamond and knowing thy self. I missed the nuance of the punctuation, and of course my mind replace steal for steel. This friend also did the same, but in order to “fix” the problem they wanted to rewrite the quote, or better yet, reorder the words. They wanted

There are three things extremely hard: a diamond, steel, and to know one’s self.

Yes, it makes the reading a bit easier on us, but it is not what Mr. Franklin said, and not how he wanted it stated. For anyone who knows Ben knows that he loved the English language and was a master at it. I do not know for sure, but I would venture to guess that he placed the words exactly as he did for a very specific purpose. Regardless, his words should be represented as he stated them. Words are very powerful indeed, and rearranging them or substituting them can and often does cause issues.

Misunderstandings are often the result of misplaced or missed used words. The Founding Fathers understood this, and knew the power of the written word, the permanence of them and the importance of each word. The Catholic Church is known to spend years debating the simplest of words, knowing that a simple, yet very important distinction are between using one word over another. Nuances in communication is extremely important, politicians know this, this is why they hire speech writers and practice there talking points, a simple slip-up can cause them to lose the election. We often call the gaffes, but what they really are, are moments of truth.

Words, spoken or written have the power to shape our destinies or destroy our past. Historians understand this, they understand how they can write about our Founders, telling the truth, yet leading you to a conclusion that is anything but the truth. The omission of words alters the facts, but leaves behind the basic truth.

We recently saw this in the Trayvon Martian case. The news media played the tape, the call from George Zimmerman, but by omitting one seeming simple line of conversation, the narrative changed. Words have the power to unite or to divide.

It seems to me, that we have lost the art of words; we have simplified them, dumb them down and turned them into meaningless letters. For example, take the word “Fair”, we hear it almost daily, “Fair share” “Fair Play”, as is “All Americans deserve a fair share of the American Dream”. I agree, but I would venture to guess that my understanding of Fair is not the majorities understanding. Most would think of fair as equal, as in, if one person has the dream, to be fair about it, all should have the dream. Not so, fair does not mean equal.

free from bias, dishonesty, or injustice: a fair decision; a fair judge. (Source)

To be fair only means to offer the same,

as great as; the same as (often followed by to or with ): The velocity of sound is not equal to that of light. (Source)

Take your time, read the definitions and you will notice the nuance, the words have meaning…

We need to return to the day when words had meanings, when the power of words were understood and respected. How did we get to this point, I am not sure, I have my own theories, but they are just that, mine. I would place the blame on the dummying down of America, instead of keeping our standards high and expecting people to reach for them, we have lowered the standards, all in the name of fairness, so all can reach them. Our newspapers use to be written at the 9th grade level, now many are written at the 5th grade level, our leaders use to be statesmen, speaking and writing as such, but now they strive to be everydaymen. Our schools use to expect excellence but now promote fairness, is hopes of being inclusive and accepting of all, to offer a fair chance for all to excel, yet most will not.

Our Founders understood something we have seem to have forgotten, they understood that we all deserve a fair chance at success, but we all will not achieve it. They understood that my success is not your success that each person is unique, that success is individual, not communal that fairness does not equate to equal, and that the guarantee of The Pursuit of Happiness is not the same as the guarantee of happiness. Our Founders understood the power of words, and based on them a new nation was born, a revolution declared and lives placed in the balance to defend them.

The United States was and is a Nation based on words, based on the nuances of the words and many a brave man and woman have spilled their blood upon the ground in defense of those words.

So is it really a big deal if someone reorders or replaces a word, to simplify the words, to bring them down to make them more “accessible”, Yes, I think so, I think words have meaning, have power and purpose, and to lower them, to bring them down, even in the name of understanding, is wrong. Instead, we should be striving to raise ourselves up, to strive to understand and to learn. Our Founding Fathers, many of them self-educated, saw the power in them, understood the need for them and knew that this new nation would rise up to them, and defend them or die. Patrick Henry understood:

It is in vain, sir, to extenuate the matter. Gentlemen may cry, Peace, Peace– but there is no peace. The war is actually begun! The next gale that sweeps from the north will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms! Our brethren are already in the field! Why stand we here idle? What is it that gentlemen wish? What would they have? Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death! (Source)

Words have meaning… Words have power… Make your word count…

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

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Road to Redemption: How to Overcome Feeling Sorry for Yourself


Feeling sorry for yourself, and you present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have.

-Dale Carnegie

What can we do about this, how can we change our own outlook on our own life? How do we stop feeling sorry for ourselves, stopping the self-pity and self loathing?  What can we do to save ourselves from ourselves?

Some points to consider:

  • Only you can make you feel bad
  • Only you are in control of you
  • Only you can fix you
  • Only you can do it

We are in control of our own lives, this is a basic and true fact, nothing can change this basic fact. However, being human, being of a fallen nature, we are prone to failure, we are prone to self-doubt we are prone to self-destruction. So how do we change this, how do we get past our fallen human nature? What can we do to become a better person, a person of confidence a person of integrity and person of character?

We can teach ourselves to over come our fallen nature, we can grow above and beyond that, it is achievable, it is with-in our grasps, all we need to do is trust, trust in God, trust that He will provides the graces we need to archive our perfection.

Trust in God does not mean we sit back and do nothing, quit the contrary, trust in God means we buckle down, place our nose to the grind stone, work our fingers to the bones, what ever cleaver little saying you choose. Trust is God is not the easy road, but it is the road less traveled. It is the road to perfection and happiness, it is the road to freedom and salvation, it is the only road to our own personal redemption.

God is our ticket to liberation, liberation from self-doubt, liberation from self-hatred, the two self-defeating attitudes that create the conditions necessary for self-loathing and just plain old feeling sorry for yourself. God and His graces, His love for you and all your imperfections, our ability to accept His love, to use His graces, that’s the way to freedom, the road to liberation.

Sounds easy, who would not want Gods love, who does not want the graces God bestows upon us? Ask almost anyone, and they would tell you, Yep, I want Gods love, I want His grace, not many would out-and-out refuse it. Some do, but most would be more than happy to accept the freely given gifts. So why that do we have so much pain and suffering, why do we have so many people who are full of self-pity and self-hatred?

Because the gifts and love are given freely, but we must be open to and willing to accept them, and simply saying yes, simply using words, dead words, is not enough. Action is required, God wants us to fully participate in His divine plan for ourselves, He wants us to be active, not just a vessel to poor His love and graces into, but an active participant in His love and grace.

What good are gifts, given freely, if we do not use them, what good is love, given unconditionally, if we do not accept it? A gift is only as useful as it is used, otherwise the gift is of no value. We can receive Gods love all daylong, but if we do not open ourselves to this love, if we do not partake in this love, the love is of no value to us. Yes God continues to love us, regardless of our acceptance or not, but the love goes unused, it is not returned nor is it give to others. The love of God is not meant to be buried like a secret love, but to be received and displayed for all to see, and to be given to others as freely as it was given to us.

The act of receiving is not a passive act, it is an act that requires us to participate fully. Consider this, have you ever given a gift to a friend or loved one, a gift that you gave out of no obligation, no requirement, no special occasion. You gave the gift just out of love, given freely, expecting nothing in return. But the recipient was not receptive to your gift, they may have accepted it, they may have even opened it, but they were not receptive. They showed no sign of joy in the act of love, they showed no sign of rejection, they just accepted it. We, the gift bearer, leave feeling rejected, feel that our love was neither accepted nor outright rejected. We think to ourselves, I would rather have them say I reject your gift, I do not want it, than to just accept it with no emotion at all. The act of receiving is active, it requires work on the part of the receiver. It is the same with Gods gifts to us, He freely offers His gifts, He will not force them upon us, we must freely accept them, and just saying yes is like the friend that opened the gift you offered with no emotion, no reaction, just nothingness. The gift, although given was not truly accepted, it was discarded, not with words, but the lack of action.

So what actions, what is required of us, nothing, we are not required to accept Gods graces nor Gods love, just like we are not required to accept gifts on our birthday or at Christmas. We can choose freely to participate in Gods love, just as we choose freely to accept Christmas gifts and attend birthday parties. But once we choose to attend, action is required, input and output are part of the interaction of any social gathering, so is the case with God, He provides the input, and we provide the output. He gives us, freely, His love, the input, and we actively, through our works, provide the output. Notice, God gives freely, and we work actively, it is through the active works we perfect the graces and love of God is fully realized.

So how can God help us get over our self-hate, our feeling sorry for ourselves. What must we do to actively participate in Gods graces and love given freely. How do we perform the work to  fully realize the gifts God has given. For each of us God has given the gifts that we need, the gifts that are unique to us, so for each of us the works are also unique, but here is a list of a few things all of us can do to help us realize the full potential of our gifts.

  • Pray daily, offer up 30 to 60 minuets per day to God, talk to Him, but more importantly, listen, be still, be quiet, and listen to the loving voice of God. And do not worry if you don’t hear Him  the first time or every time you pray, like everything else in our lives, it take practice. So just pray, daily and know and accept that some days will be better than others.
  • Read daily, anyone who has read my blog before knew that this would be one of the point, it almost always is. But reading is important, reading opens our minds to new possibilities. Read the bible, read a good solid spiritual book or read a novel, just read and let your mind go, let your mind enter into the story or passage. Let the author take you along for the ride. Read at least 15 minutes per day. God often times speaks to me through the books I choose to read that day, the passage I decide to look up or the magazine I choose out of the stack on my coffee table. God uses the everyday items about us to communicate to us, God comes to the place we are, He does not wait for us to arrive at the place He desires us to be.
  • Journal daily, write about your day, write about what you see about you, write about your prayer life, write about what ever you choose to write about. This blog is my journal, it allows me the opportunity to clear my mind, to put down on paper (well in this case, electronic paper) what is on my mind, allows me the opportunity to clear it, to visualize it. God uses these opportunities to speak to us, often times I just sit to write, no idea what I want to write about, just feel the need to clear my mind. It is in these moments that I feel God guiding me more that any other. So journal daily, allow the Holy Spirit to guide your hand across the paper, or in my case the keyboard. Use your time journaling as a time of communion with God.
  • Learn daily, learn about your faith, learn about your life, learn about your country learn about wine or basket weaving, just learn, never stop learning. God created our minds to grow, to learn to expand. In the process of learning, we are using one of Gods greatest gifts to us, the gift of knowledge. So learn something new daily, try something new daily. I try to make it a point to learn something new daily, be it a simple fact or a complex idea. Learning about this world, our self, our nation or about basket weaving is learning about God, for through the ordinary we find God.
  • Think one positive thought daily, when you are in the mist of a bad day, stop yourself, and think about one positive event that took place that day. There is always one, no day is completely bad. Even Good Friday, the day our Lord was killed upon a cross had a positive moment, the moment He offered His life for our sins. So stop and think, seek out the shinning spot among the darkness of your day. It is in the moment, that spot that God will be found.
  • Thank someone daily, always give thanks to all around you, but find someone who needs your thanks more than any other, we find God in our fellow-man, and they find God in us, give freely of your Gift of love from God, by returning to others.

Our works do not purchase Gods love nor are the required, God gives it freely, but our works bring the fullness of Gods love to light. Through Gods love we will learn to love the self, and only through our works will we fully realize that self-love.

 

God Bless

 

Paul W Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

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Destructive Thinking


I thought I would share another found article….

——START—–

post written by: Marc

10 Destructive Faults in Our Way of Thinking

Image(3)

The human mind is wonderful and powerful, but it’s far from perfect.  There are several common judgment errors that it’s prone to making.  In the field of Psychology these are known as cognitive biases, or fallacies in reasoning.  They happen to everyone regardless of age, sex, education or intelligence.

Over the past few months I’ve become fascinated by these biases and fallacies, so I’ve readImage several books about them.  Today I want to share ten of them with you.  They are the ones I repeatedly notice myself and those closest to me struggling with.  My hope is that you will use the information in this article to pinpoint these destructive patterns in your own thinking, and break free from them before they send you spiraling down the wrong path.

  1. Negative self-fulfilling prophecies. – A self-fulfilling prophecy is a prediction that motivates a person to take actions that cause the prediction to come true.  This kind of thinking often tears relationships apart and causes people to fail at their goals.  Here are two typical examples:  1.) A man believes that his relationship with his new girlfriend is “never going to last.”  So he stops putting effort into the relationship, pulls away emotionally, and a month later the relationship fails.  2.) An intelligent undergraduate in the field of health convinces herself that she “doesn’t have what it takes” to become a doctor, so she therefore never completes the prerequisites for medical school, and thus never becomes a doctor.
  2. Only taking credit for positive outcomes. – This destructive thinking pattern occurs when we take full credit for our successes, but deny responsibility for our failures.  A perfect example of this can be witnessed in school classrooms across the globe.  When students receive a good grade, they often attribute it to their intelligence and their excellent study habits.  But when they get a bad grade, they attribute some of their failure to a bad teacher, an unfair set of test questions, or a subject matter that “isn’t needed in the real world anyway.”  The bottom line is that in order for a person to grow emotionally, they must be willing to take full responsibility for all of their actions and outcomes – successes and failures alike.
  3. Believing we are immune to temptation. – We have far less control over our impulsive desires than we often believe.  Sex, food, and drug addictions are extreme examples of this.  Many addicts believe they can quit anytime they want, but in reality they are simply lying to themselves.  But you don’t have to be an addict to be vulnerable to temptation.  Lots of smart people end up impulsively giving in to temptation simply because it’s the easiest way to get rid of it.  It sounds ridiculous, but it’s true.  If someone wants to get rid of sexual desire, the easiest way is to have sex.  If someone wants to get rid of hunger pain, the easiest way is to eat.  Restraining from impulsive behavior in the face of temptation is not easy; it takes a great deal of self-control.  So be careful, because when we have an inflated sense of control over our impulses, we tend to overexpose ourselves to temptation, which in turn promotes the impulsive behavior we want to avoid.
  4. Passing a broad judgment from an isolated incident. – An inaccurate first impression is a decent example of this one.  It’s about our natural human tendency to evaluate a person or situation from a bird’s eye view, and then presume to know enough to pass a reasonable judgment.  This happens a lot in the corporate working world.  A newer employee might show up late to work after experiencing legitimate car trouble, but their boss immediately becomes suspicious that they are not committed and responsible, and treats them as such for several weeks thereafter.  The obvious solution here is to look at the big picture before you start pointing fingers or making assumptions.
  5. Believing we can control the uncontrollable. – This thinking fallacy occurs when people begin to believe that they have some kind of direct influence or power over an external event that is completely random.  It is especially evident in the minds of amateur gamblers; especially those who have had a recent string of good luck.  For example, if you flipped a coin and asked someone to guess heads or tails, and they got it right ten times in a row, they might begin to believe that their good luck is confirmation that they have control over the outcome of each flip.  But the truth is that there is always a 50% probability of their answer being correct, and their last ten guesses were pure luck.
  6. Ignoring information that does not support a belief. – Psychologists commonly refer to this as the confirmation bias.  We as human beings naturally tend to look for information that confirms and supports our beliefs, and we tend to overlook information that does not.  We are selective in the evidence we choose to collect so that we don’t have to challenge our way of thinking, because it’s easier not to.  This destructive thinking trap is very common, and it can have detrimental effects on our productivity when we make big decisions based on false information.
  7. Beginner’s optimism. – Beginner’s optimism is the human tendency to underestimate the time required to complete an unfamiliar task.  It occurs due to a lack of planning and research on behalf of someone who is excited about doing something they have never done before.  In other words, when we get assigned a new task that we are anxious to get started on, instead of delaying the start time to accurately evaluate the level of difficulty and resources required, we simply guess and begin.  Thus, our expectation of the workload is based on raw optimism instead past experience and reliable data.  And it all backfires on us a little later when we find ourselves knee deep in work we were unprepared for.
  8. Rebelling simply to prove personal freedom. – Although more common in children, this thinking fallacy can affect people of any age.  It’s basically a person’s urge to do something they have been told not to do, for fear that their freedom of choice is being taken away from them.  This person may not even want to do whatever they are doing to rebel; however, the simple fact that they are not supposed to do it motivates them to do so anyway.  The tactic of reverse psychology is a commonly used method of exploiting this thinking fallacy in others.
  9. Judging a person’s capabilities based solely on the way they look. – This happens thousands of times a day worldwide when one person assumes something about another person based on their immediate appearance.  For example, someone might see a tall, well groomed man in his early fifties, wearing a business suit, and instantly assume he is successful and reliable, even though there is zero concrete evidence to support this assumption.  Bottom line:  You can’t judge a book by its cover.
  10. Trying to diminish losses by continuing to pursue a previous failure. – Sometimes called the sunk cost fallacy, this is a thinking fault that motivates us to continue to support a previously unsuccessful endeavor.  We justify our decision to continue investing in this failed endeavor based on our cumulative prior investment, despite new evidence suggesting that the cost, starting today, of continuing to pursue it outweighs the expected benefit.  The logical thing to do would be for us to cut our losses and change our course of action.  However, due to the sunk costs we have already invested, we feel committed to the endeavor, so we invest even more time, money and energy into it, hoping that our additional investment will reverse the outcome.  But it never will.

If you can relate to some of these destructive thinking faults, and you’re interested in learning more about them, give these books a read.  All three are equally incredible:

Photo by: Pejman Parvandi

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I hope you found this article helpful…

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach 

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Frustration, and dealing with it


frustration

Definition

frus·tra·tion

NOUN

1. dissatisfaction: a feeling of disappointment, exasperation, or weariness caused by goals being thwarted or desires unsatisfied

2. frustrating of somebody or something: an act or instance of causing somebody or something to be dissatisfied or unfulfilled

3. something that thwarts: something that blocks, thwarts, and upsets somebody all at the same time

“His lack of ambition was a frustration to his father.”

The feeling of frustration has come upon me, and has decided to stay for bit. This feeling has sat around for the past few weeks, not wanting to go anyplace at all. It it happy just sitting upon me and making me deal with it, and I , for one, am not to happy about it. In fact, its frustrating!

Trying to deal with work, defined as a place you go to daily, bang your head on the wall and return home. At least that has been the norm as of late. Dealing with the customer can be frustrating enough, but when your own company is placing road blocks in your way as well, well that just tips it over the top. Has hard as I try, it is hard to not take it home with me, causing me to be exhausted when I get home, and that hurts my personal life. I have not had the energy to workout, do the house work that needs to be done and as of late, even reading is a takes to me, not an enjoyment. That’s when I know it’s getting to me, reading is what I do, who I am, and when that takes a back seat, that’s when I know I need to do something. But what? What can I do about it? Were do I even start?

Here is my action plan, and a plan that you can use to help fight your frustrations

  1. Keep the Body active: exercise daily for at least 30 minutes. Walk the dog, go to the gym, ride a bike. Just do something, even when you just don’t feel like it, in fact that when you should do it, when you don’t feel like it, because that’s when you need it the most.
  2. Keep the Body healthy: eat right, if your like me, junk food fills the void, I tend to eat candy when I am frustrated, and this is a bad thing for several reason, the weight gain, the sugar buzz, and the over all feeling yucky after the binge. Avoid the bad and seek out the good. But do not deprive yourself the craving, eat one candy bar, not 20. Give your body what it craves, to satisfy it, try to find an alternative to the candy bar, see if an apple dipped in honey will work, or peanut butter and celery will satisfy.
  3. Keep the Soul healthy: Attend Church, meditate, commune with God, do something that will keep your soul active. Like any other part of you, you must exercise your soul, keep it active. So find activities that builds up your soul. The soul is a part of your well-being, a healthy and active soul is directly related to a healthy and active you.
  4. Keep the Mind active: Read, do cross words, go to an art museum, do something, anything, daily, to activate your mind, to fire a few new neurons make a few new connections and build a new memory. Spending 15 minutes each day reading and reflecting is a prescription for a healthy and active mind. We are made to learn to grow and to experience life with all our senses. Learn to stretch yourself, reach outside of your comfort zone and exercise your mind. If you normally read romance novels, pick up a historical novel or if you read only religious books, try a political book, force your mind to rethink its thinking. Its good exercise and a practice that will make you a more rounded individual. We have lost the “Renaissance Man” and its time to get him back.
  5. Keep your heart active: I’m not talking about working out again, that’s point number 1, nope this time I am talking about the poetic heart. Find something to love, a passion, be it a person, a pet or a cause, find your passion and pursue it. Now I’m not talking about stalking the girl down the block, I’m talking about passion. We are all created to be connected with others, be it in a social or personal manner. We need others to feel content, so we seek them out. Some find them at church or by joining clubs or volunteering at the local soup kitchen. Some find contentment in their children others in their spouse or significant others. Were ever it is, put your passion into it, reconnect to that passion, or discover new passions and pursue it with gusto, give it all you got.

The above 5 activates are activities we should be doing regardless of our frustration level. but it’s often helpful to be reminded of them when we are frustrated. I know that for me, just the act of writing tem has reminded me that I need to work on all five activities, that I have allowed them to sit in the back ground, but now I need to bring them to the forefront and concentrate on them and actively pursue them. The activities should not be grouped together, reading why you workout does not count as two activities. Don’t try to short change yourself, each activity must be given your full and undivided attention. It’s like buying a TV DVD combo, sure you save a little space, and maybe even a little money, but if the TV breaks, now your out both a DVD player and a TV. Separate is better…

Something to ponder….

Ecclesiastes 7:2-4 (NIV)

2 It is better to go to a house of mourning
than to go to a house of feasting,
for death is the destiny of everyone;
the living should take this to heart.
3 Frustration is better than laughter,
because a sad face is good for the heart.
4 The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning,
but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure.

“A sad face is good for the heart” hmmm, not sure about that, but I know that sometimes a little rain on one’s life must fall, and frustration is just that, a little rain. The sun will come out again, and if I took care of myself during the time of frustration, than when the sun comes, I will be wiser and healthier that before the rain fell upon my life.

God Bless & Happy Lent

Guided Insight Life Coach

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