
Anyone who has read my blog or knows me, knows that I love to read. You would also know that I love to read all different types of books, from Catholic to Stephen King and everything in-between, reading is the elixir of life, books are your friend when no one else it, books are the educators that don’t judge and the parents that teach you silently. I love books, I love to read, even in this day-and-age of eBooks, I still prefer the good old fashion paper books.
When ever I travel I always bring a few books, on my last trip to Mexico City I brought along a Stephen King book, “The wind through the key hole” and “Bill & Billy Moyer and Amber Fogarty’s “Retreat to Success”. This is the second book I have read by Bill & Billy, their fist, “Seeds of Success” was a joy to read and I was looking forward to reading “Retreat to Success”.

Like there first book, “Retreat” was short and to the point, something I love in self-help books. They see no reason to waste the reader’s time with lots of words, but rather, they get to the point and move on. Time is valuable and they understand this. But leaving out the unneeded words does nothing to diminish the effectiveness of this little book, in fact, if anything, it makes this book even more valuable is someone’s collection.
Each chapter of this book alternates between the three different authors as they journey together through a retreat. The insights they gain, the struggles they face and the lessons learned are laid out. Each unit contains the retreat masters questions and the attendees take-a-ways. Having attended weekend retreats before, I understand the mental and physical toll this can take on a person, the pure physical exhaustion one feels at the end of the retreat along with the feeling of accomplishment. I know, for me, that my mind races and new thoughts and ideas abound within me, and I seem to find new and exciting insights in every word uttered by the retreat master. To me that hard part is digesting the information, to find the one of two points that speak directly to my life, to my needs. Bill, Billy and Amber did just that, they where able to find the nuggets of information that not only spoke to them and there needs, but also to me. They made it personal, not only to themselves, but also personal to me. That is a hard thing to do, I know, I try to make that happen in each and every blog I write, it a fine wire between writhe an article that speaks to everyone and a journal that speaks to only the author, “Retreat to Success” does just that, if speaks to everyone.
I would recommend this book, along with their first book, to anyone who is serious about wanting to grow, to grow as a parent, a wife or husband or a business leader. Leadership is not just a corporate thing, in fact I would say that true leadership is more a humanity thing than anything else. We all are leaders, or at least we all should be. By spend a few hours with a hot cup of tea, curled up in your favorite chair reading “Retreat to Success” will be time well spent.
I love to read, I love to learn and I love to grow, and “Retreat to Success” fulfilled all three objectives. So what was my take-a-way from this book, what one nugget did I dig out of the book, that a goal should not be a tangible thing but an idea. For example, my goal should not be “I want to make a million dollars”, sure it’s a fine goal, but once I make it, than what. My goal should be “I want to be successful in my company”. The difference, the first goal places a value on my success, a million dollars, the second leaves room for continues improvement. Success is a moving target, something I need to always be monitoring and adjusting my actions to achieve, and in truth, one never fully achieves this goal, because success is a continuation, it never stops calling to you. Success is not measured by dollar amounts, but by relevance. How relevant are you? Whose life have you effected today, in a positive manner and how have your actions or lack of actions made a difference in the world around you, these are the measures of success, not how much money you have or how big your house is. Success is not things, success is legacy, what did you leave behind for others?
Read, learn and grow, the keys to success. Add Bill, Billy and Amber’s book “Retreat to Success” to your book collection, read it, learn from it and grow. It will be time well spent.
God Bless

Paul Sposite
Guided Insight Life Coach
Link to their web site, SOS Leadership

42.303780
-83.378959
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McDonalds’ sign in Harlem. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
What is Leadership? What makes a leader? How does one become a leader. Theses are questions that many people ask, and for everyone person who asks, there are dozens of books, seminars and blog sites like this one with answers. But how do you know who is right. What method will work for you, and can you even become a leader? Is everyone born to be a leader? Can anyone study and become a leader, or is it in our DNA, are we just born like that?
Leadership, personal development and self-improvement is a multi-billion dollar industry, and like any industry there are the McDonald’s and the fancy shirt and tie eateries of Leadership development companies and individuals. Some offering the “fast food” of leadership and others offering you the 7 course meal, both serve a purpose, but like food, there is quality differences. Like a good fast food restaurant, McLeadership fills a purpose, but also like a fast food joint, to much of it can cause health issues. So what is McLeadership?
The McLeadership
McLeadership is, simple stated, the consumption of Leadership values, ideas and material in a fast, successive fashion that ignores the need for digestion of said material. We all know the feeling we get after we scarf down a value meal on our way to the next meeting or appointment. The bloated over stuffed sluggish feeling that leaves us with an upset stomach and an on satisfied hunger. We didn’t bother to take the time to sit back and relax and enjoy the meal, but rather we stuffed in our mouths, washed it down with a pop and followed it with a few fries. Doing this once or twice wont have to much of an effect on our over all health. But turning this bad habit into a lifetime of eating will. Well the same can be said for our Leadership and Change couping skills.
The market is flooded with books, CD’s, DVD’s and Seminars we can attend, and I am sure most of them are well produced and worthy of our attention. However, like the food we ingest affects our body, the information we ingest affects our mind. The habit of reading, as anyone who reads my blog will know, is a habit I strongly support. I recommend 15 minuets daily, at the very least. But, I also recommend journaling, reflecting and digesting the input. I strongly recommend that when you read, you find a quiet place, a relaxing place, and read in peace. This allows your body and mind to work together on digesting the input.
The fast food mentality that we are raised in as permeated our daily lives, it has infected our Faith, Family, Work and Being. We are programmed to think in sound bites and to deliver messages in Tweets and Status Updates. We are encouraged to abbreviate everything. We are living in the information age, more information is available to us than ever before, yet we seem to truly know less. We have the ability to truly connect with each other in ways never imagined, yet we don’t.
McLeadership is the result of reading, attending and listening to principles on Leadership, yet never putting in to practice the principles we have learned. Our thirty-second retention of information along with our forced acceptance of multi-tasking has created a generation that expects instantaneous results for no or little effort on their part.
True Leadership
True Leadership is a leadership of value, a leadership of effort and time. Like a good meal, one that you take time to enjoy and savor, a meal that is prepared with love and kindness. A true meal, a good meal, is one that we sit down at the table together, we pray and give thanks for what we are about to partake, and we enjoy the food, atmosphere and company. The meal itself, be it meatloaf or the finest cut of beef, is almost secondary to the time spent, digesting the whole experience.
Over the years I have been blessed with the opportunity to travel, and in doing so have made friends all over the world. One set of friends reside in Germany. They have become like family to me, we have spent many a nights together eating and drinking and conversing. He is a home gourmet cook. His food is simple but very pleasing to both the eye and the taste buds, and I have had the pleasure of many a meal with him and his wife. Each meal is a pleasure, but some of the most memorable meals where the less fancy, the more traditional family meals. Meals where he was not occupied with preparations, but was able to sit and enjoy the conversation, glass of wine and the simple family meal with us. He was able to digest in a relaxed fashion.
True Leadership is achieved in much the same way, we cannot be to concerned with the preparations, to hung up with the presentation that we miss the main point. I have learned many-a-thing about Leadership in moments of confusion and dysfunction, the moments of lack of planning and miss planning. But I have learned more, not in the McLeadership moments, but in the fine dinning moments. The moments were I can sit back, relax and slowly discover the truth hidden in the moment.
Leadership
Leadership is not reserved for the few, it is something we all must archive, in once fashion or another. But we must learn to slow down, to chew on it for a while and to savor its flavors. We must decide what Leadership looks like, taste like and is for us. My Leadership is not your Leadership, each of us have our own taste, our own cravings and each of us must discover our own style.
Fast food is fine, every-now-and-than, but as a steady diet, not so much, the same can be said for Learning and growing your Leadership skills. A quick read with no processing is fine, every-now-and-than, but as a daily diet, not to healthy for your mind.
I would recommend a steady diet of relaxed learning and reading, at least 15 minutes per day, in a quiet place, be it the bath tub or your car pared in a Church parking lot. I would also recommend that you journal about what you just read or learned. Your reading does not have to be only Leadership books, I am a strong believer in mixing it up, reading in general is a positive action, and reading different types and styles of books. I feel you can learn from anything and everything, so be it a Stephen King book or the latest guru in the self-help section, you can learn from it.
What I don’t recommend is that you substitute books with audio-books to often. Audio-books would be the fast food of reading, nothing replaces the written word. It is ok to enjoy a good audio-book on your long drive to and from work, I love to listen to talks on CD, but I always make it a point to follow it up with more reading on what ever topic truly captivated me. Same holds true for DVD’s or TED videos. Great sources for information and entertainment, but do not make a steady diet of it. The act of reading works your mind in ways a CD or DVD can not even come close to, and it is the working of the mind that causes active learning to take place.
God Bless
Paul Sposite
Guided Insight Life Coach
42.303780
-83.378959
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For, lo, the winter is past,
The rain is over and gone;
The flowers appear on the earth;
The time of the singing of birds is come,
And the voice of the turtle is heard in our land.
Solomon 2:11-12
For any Michigander, Detroit Tiger Fan or just a Detroiter, you know the above, it is the Voice of the Turtle, and every spring it was read by the voice of summer, Ernie Harwell
In Detroit, you knew it was spring, not by the temperatures outside, but by the voice of Ernie on the air. Each and every Detroit Tigers Baseball session started off with the Voice of the Turtle, a short verse from the book of Solomon, yet, most of us hearing the words had no idea they were from the bible. I know that when I was growing up hearing Ernie’s words, I thought it was just a pome he wrote for the start of spring, I had no idea that he was evangelizing me, I had no idea I was hearing the inspired word of God.
Isn’t that just how life is, we hear something, it sounds cute, it sounds good, yet we fail to hear the voice of God with in it. But yet, like Ernie’s rendition of the Voice of the Turtle, it resonates with you, it seems to fill a spot within your heart. I know that’s how it was with Ernie, and that’s how it still is, even today when I hear his voice, I hear his reading of the Voice of the Turtle, I feel spring has arrived, all is right with the world. It’s amazing how certain things effect us.
God is that way, when you allow Him to be. He will resonate within you, make all things right, if you allow Him too. But like hearing the voice of summer, you have to tune in, to hear Ernie call a baseball game was like being in the park, feeling the sunshine and smelling the hotdogs. He made you fell as if you were apart of the action, one of the fans right behind home plate.
I remember many a Saturday afternoons listening to Ernie call a game, his voice was baseball, and you truly did feel safe and secure with his voice on the radio. Several years ago Ernie passed away, and it was like all of Michigan lost a grandfather, and we all knew Detroit Baseball would never be the same. Something was lost, the voice of summer had died. Sure, he had not been calling games for a few years before he passed on, but he was still there, you would hear him on the radio every now and than and you knew he was watching his beloved Tigers, just as you were. It just seemed different after his passing, nothing was the same, summer had lost its voice and silence now rained. Dramatic sounding I know, but some people just have the effect on you, some moments or memories are just that strong, and Ernie is one such memory. And not just for me, but for millions of fans.
Last year I had the opportunity to see a play in downtown Detroit called “Ernie!”, yep a play about the voice of summer. It was written by our own Mitch Album, a local sports writer and radio personality, and know nationally for his best selling book “Tuesdays with Morrie”. The one act play was a sell out each and every night and is returning this year for another go around. An amazing thing, if you stop and think about it, Ernie was just a sports broadcaster, a baseball guy. He didn’t invent the cure for cancer, he died from it. he didn’t bring world peace to the world, he brought baseball to the homes. He was, by every account, just a man who loved baseball, his wife Lulu and his kids. He was just Ernie. But he was beloved by all and holds a special place in the hearts of all Detroiters, for Ernie was, and still is to many, the voice of summer. Ernie knew his gifts and used them everyday, in small ways, to make God know and visible in this world. Be it by reading a small poem on the air waves, or by making us all feel as if we are welcomed into his world of baseball. It was his gifts that he chose to share with the world, and we are all better of for it. Ernie was truly one of a kind, he truly was a gift from God.
Lent offers us an opportunity to look into ourselves, to evaluate our gifts and to determine the best way to share them with others. God gave Ernie the gift of Baseball, the gift to make you feel welcomed and the gift of the love of life, what gift do you have, and how are you using it. Find ways this Lent to use your gifts, to share them with others, to make God known a little better in this world.
God Bless & Happy Lent
Paul Sposite
Guided Insight Life Coach
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8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the LORD God called to the man, “Where are you?”
10 He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”
11 And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?”
12 The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”
13 Then the LORD God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”
The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
Genesis 3:8-13 (NIV)
The story of Adam and Eve, our first parents, is a story often told and one that we all know. God made Adam, than Eve, Eve ate of the fruit and gave it to Adam. God came for His walk in the garden, with Adam and Eve, and Adam and Eve hid… Why, because they were naked…
Naked, meaning nothing to cover them, yes, but no. Naked has a deeper meaning here, the nakedness they felt was manifested on the outside, but was truly on the inside. The shame they felt was not a shame of the body, but a shame of the soul, for they now understood good and evil, they now knew what it was like to sin, and the soul was shamed.
We all are naked before the Lord, for He sees everything, there is nothing He does not know, for He created us and loves us. We are all sinners and we all, at some point feel shame for our actions.
Adam and Eve fashioned fig leaves together to cover their shame, they hid themselves from the sight of God, but God could see them and He questioned them. The first reaction, blame others… Eve the snake, Adam the woman. But who truly sinned, who was truly to blame, Adam, the first man, the first priest. His Church, the garden, under his care, all that God has created. Adam was given guardianship over Gods creation. How do I know this, what makes me say this, God had Adam name all the creatures of earth. To name something is to care for it. We, as parents, name our children, and in doing so, take on the responsibility of caring for and nurturing and protecting that child. Adam was given the same responsibility. God created Eve from Adam, flesh of my flesh blood of my blood, as Adam put it. So Eve was of Adam and of God, but Adam was of God only. Adam was the first priest, his church, the garden, his flock, all of Gods creation. As the priest, he was charged with protection all with in his domain, all of Gods creations, and all within the garden. By allowing the devil to enter into the Garden, Adam had failed, he had fallen asleep at the gate and allowed Eve to be tempted. Adam had sinned.
The nakedness of humanity had started, sin has entered our world and all the lies to cover up our nakedness had become part of our humanity. We may not use fig leafs to cover our nakedness anymore, but we still cover up nerveless.
Stories of priest falling asleep on the job is not just a Adam story, we experience it today. The news stories if Priest abusing their powers, embezzling money and of course the sex scandal. But that is only the Priest we identify, in truth, we Catholics, all of us, are priest (lower case p), by our very Baptism we are priest, profit and king. We are Adams of our own gardens, and we have dominion over all with in it, our children, pets, family’s and communities. Have we fallen asleep at our gates? Have we let the snake into our gardens? As a fallen race, I would venture to guess the answer is yes, we have allowed the snake in, but have we allowed the snake to tempt us? Once again I would have to say yes, we have, we all have because we all are human and being so means we all have failed, we all have sinned. But now comes the next question, what have you done about it? Have you just allowed the snake to take over or have you worked diligently to exterminate the snake?
The garden of Eden was paradise, but man, in his imperfections, allowed evil to enter within its gates. He allowed it because he allowed his ego to control him actions, his desire to be more than what he is became his downfall and we are still dealing with it today. Our ego is the snake and our lies are the fig leafs and our shame the nakedness.
The Cross of Redemption has opened of the gates of Heaven, but the gates of the Garden of Eden are still locked to us, someplace on earth paradise sits, but we are too vain to see it, our eyes are covered over with our own vanity, that we could not see it even if we were standing in the middle of it. Our inequities blind us to the perfection of Eden and keep us in a state of nakedness.
Christ, the new Adam, has redeemed us and renewed our priesthood with His body and blood. His suffering was the down payment and His death the price, he purchased our salvation and guaranteed its delivery through His resurrection. Adam came into this world naked, than trough sin covered up his nakedness, Christ died upon the cross naked to defeat the sin that Adam introduced.
Lent offers us a time to expose ourselves before God, to remove the fig leafs and stand naked before our God. A time to ask for forgiveness and a time to receive it. Like Adam, we all have allowed sin to enter into our lives, we all have allowed our ego to control our actions,but unlike Adam we have the promise of salvation. Adam, by covering himself in sin, closed the gated of Heaven to us, but Christ, but uncovering the sin, exposing Himself to our sins, has open the gates of Heaven to us. We must work hard in our gardens to eradicate the snake, to remove it from our gardens to till the soil and plant the seeds of forgiveness and love. Use this Lenten session to do a bit of gardening, attend the Sacrament of Confession, make peace with your soul and tend to your garden.
God Bless & Happy Lent
Paul Sposite
Guided Insight Life Coach
42.303780
-83.378959
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I have written several religious formation books for use in the classroom, I have tackled Mosses and the flight from slavery, I have looked at the Book of Acts and even delved into the Catechism of the Catholic Church, but the one book I have always wanted to take on was the Book of Job. This book, Jobs story, has always fascinated me, and I feel there are so many hidden gems with in the text. The fabric of Job is rich and textured that I know lessons lay between the words of the book. Yet I have never followed that vision, that dream to write a formation book based on Job. Maybe I will, one day, or maybe I will use Job in other ways. This I know, it is one of my favorite books in the Bible, the story of poor Job just seems to touch me.
I would like to think it’s because I connect with Job, but I know this is not true, Job was a righteous man, pleasing to the eye of God, he was a rich man, with many blessings. I am no righteous man nor am I rich. Job had a family, wife and children, I am single, and Job had oxen and ass, and well, I’m just an ass with no oxen. So no, it’s not that I connect with Job on any physical level.
Job had faith, a trust in God that I can only strive for, we was steadfast in his convictions, even as he lost all he had, he was still faithful.
“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
and naked I will depart.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised.”
22 In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.
Job 1: 20-22
No, Job was one of a kind, he had faith that most of us only dream of. Yet Job seems so real, so accessible to me, he does not seem out of reach, but rather he seems humble and down to earth. Just the man next store type of guy. There is something likeable and pleasant about Job, and about his story. You feel his sufferings and trials. Yet you know his faith will pull him through. You know Job lives by the old saying “For the Grace of God go I”. A saying that I often us in my daily speech, a saying that I try to live by, a saying the Job exemplifies.
Job is the perfect picture of acceptance, of letting go and letting God. Yes Job was man, so there for he was also fallen and sin was in his nature. He was not a god, nor was he God. He was not born sinless, and he, I am sure, did not die sinless. But he was contrite and humble, he was steadfast and prayerful and most of all he was obedient to the Lord.
Maybe this is why I am drawn to Job, not because he and I are so much alike, but because he and I are so different, because I want to be like Job, I want to emulate his trust and faith, I want to experience his deep conviction and to feel God within me as Job did. Maybe I am drawn to him because I lack so much of him within.
This Lent read the book of Job, meditate on his plight, on his trust and his faith, and read of his family and friends and others who lacked trust in the Lord, I think we, well I know I, will find ourselves more in them than in Job.
His wife said to him, “Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!”
10 He replied, “You are talking like a foolish[b] woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?”
In all this, Job did not sin in what he said.
Job 2: 9-10
Are most of us more like his wife than like him? When things seem not to go our way, we tend to blame God, to curse him, and if anyone in the bible seemed to have the right to curse God, it was Job. This man did nothing to deserve the trials he was enduring, he was a good and faithful man, yet God allowed the Devil to tempt him, and Job never wavered, he just endured.
And we complain about 40 days of Lent! The sacrifice we make, giving up meet on Friday compared to Job, who lost all he had. How sad we truly are, how unworthy we truly are. Yet God does not give up on us, just as he had faith in Job, he has the same faith in us. If only we could have the same faith as Job.
Lent offer us the time to reflect, to reflect upon the Cross, the Empty Tomb and the Risen Lord, use the 40 days of Lent to read Job, to understand Job and to see the Cross, Tomb and Risen Lord in all the Job endures. Journal about how Job and his trials can become your trials, how Job’s faith can become your faith, how The Book of Job can become a book of you.
God Bless & Happy Lent
Paul Sposite
(Note: The Guided Insight Life Coach website is currently down)

42.303780
-83.378959
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The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind.
~William James (1842 – 1910)
Attitude…. What a powerful word.
manner, disposition, feeling, position, etc., with regard to a person or thing; tendency or orientation, especially of the mind: a negative attitude; group attitudes. (Source)
Notice the one little section that states “Especially of the mind” our attitude is just that, ours. We control it, it does not (or at least should not) control us. Yet all too often, we allow it to just that, our attitude all too often becomes a commentary on outside forces. We allow forces that we cannot control, friends, work, and weather, to control us. Attitude is not beyond our control, it is within our control, if we would only take control.
I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.
~Martha Washington (1732 – 1802)
Martha Washington, the wife of George Washington lived a hard life. A life of service to her country, a life of war and peace a life that called upon her many times to sacrifice. You will not read it in the history books, but she did. She had to be a woman of great courage and one of positive attitude. She had to be selfless in all she did, for she allowed her husband to go off to war and lead a revolution that, by all accounts, could not be won. She left to take care of the farm. She again offered her husband to our new and struggling nation to attend the constitutional conventions, a thankless and long task, leaving Martha to tend to the family farm, once again. Still more was asked of her, as she and George we honored with the task of becoming the first leader of this Great Nation, no simple task. No, hers was not a life of leisure and pleasure; hers was a life of service and attitude. Yep, Attitude… Martha, based on what I have read of her, was a remarkable woman, one of strong opinions and full of positive attitude. We all can learn a lot from not only George Washington, but his wife Martha as well.
Jesus has something to say about our attitudes as well, He provides us with the Beatitudes as a guide to follow.
(Source)
Reading the Beatitudes can be a hard task, if you do not understand how to read them. If you do not understand the meaning behind them. However, put simply, Jesus is telling us, we are in control or our outlook, our attitudes towards life and self. To the poor He promises the Kingdom, to those that mourn, comfort and so on. But what is He saying? Is Jesus saying that the poor are the only ones to see the Kingdom and the mournful the only ones to receive comfort? Nope, not at all. The poor is not referring to the lack of money, but rather the lack of faith, yet in this lack I should not despair, for Jesus states I will see the Kingdom. So rejoice and be glad, for the Kingdom of God is at hand.
It is our attitude we control, we have the power to see the glass as half full or half-empty, and the Beatitudes are lessons in seeing the glass as half full. What a valuable lesson. A lesson that has been taught over the centuries by many a great teacher, none greater than Jesus, but still many a great teachers. Yet it is a lesson we still need to learn. Knowing that I am poor in Spirit, yet will still see the Kingdom of God does not mean I stop trying to deepen my faith, sit back and just wait, rather it means I double down and study, learn and grow in my spirit, knowing that it will always fall short, but also knowing that Jesus understands, and the Kingdom will still be at hand. That is the power…
Dr. Wayne Dyer states, “Change the way you look at things, and the things you are looking at will change”, so true and so powerful, yet most of us refuse to do so. Changing our outlook, our attitude, is not easy, we have been programmed to accept that this is the way it is, outside forces determine our attitude, and we have no control over it. Such a false understanding, yet it is the understanding the majority of people have. How often I have heard “They can’t help it, that just how they are, that’s who they are”… To state it directly and simply, that’s just bull crap, a cop-out, we all have control of our lives, we all can change out attitudes, our outlook, and determine for ourselves what our future will be. We just have to work at it…
The task is hard, the journey long and the pitfalls will be many, your drive will wane and your ego will protest, but it can be done, you can change your attitude, you can see the glass as half full, if you only work at it. Yes, sometimes I do see that 1/2 empty glass, but in moments like this I know it is my ego driving my attitude and not my soul, not my being. At times like this I step back and breathe deeply, re-focus my thoughts and realign my attitude, and re-image the glass as 1/2 full yet again. It is a mammoth task at times, but the pay-off is always worth the effort. The feeling of control over the ego, the knowledge that I am in control on myself are well worth the effort.
Attitude, you got one. I am sure you do, but the bigger question is, Attitude, you like the one you got? Is it a healthy attitude? Does it contribute to your overall happiness or is it a source of depression and discontentment? Try this, try taking an attitude assessment, simple write down your attitude towards things, family, work, life, politics, religion, faith, money and so on, rate them based on a 1 to 10 scale, 1 being extremely bad attitude and 10 being extremely positive attitude. Once you have completed this, look at your list, anything with a 6 or more score, consider good for now. Everything with a five or below score consider as areas that need improvement. Start with the 5’s, pick one, let us say its Job, and create an action plan to help you change your attitude. What can you do to create a new and better attitude concerning your current job? To help with this, write down all the aspects of your job that seems to be the source of your bad attitude. Look at each one and determine what action you can take to rectify this. It may be as simple as having a conversation with your boss or as complex as having to try and be transfers to a new department. Nevertheless, whatever the solution, whatever the problem, remembers you are in control of your attitude, no one else is!
Once you have fixed the first on your list continue through the rest of the list, and before you know it, your attitude will be better. However, your work is not done yet, nope… Because you know that, your coworker or whatever the source off your discontentment was will not just roll over and play dead. So now, you need to learn tools to help you cope with issues that will pop up. Best advice, find a saying or prayer that you like, one that reminds of your ultimate goal, a more positive and productive attitude, make a copies of it, place on all your office wall, put one in your purse or wallet, tape one to your bathroom mirror and one on your car visor. Frame one to hang in your hall, in other words place this reminder all over the place, so when the need arrives, just look at, read it and take a step back to contemplate it. Refocus your thoughts and realign your attitude. It takes practice, but it can be done.
Good luck and God Bless
Paul Sposite
Guided Insight Life Coach
(Something to read, and help you with your attitude)
42.303780
-83.378959
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Harvard University did a study on the effects of children attending a 4th of July celebrations. Yep, you read it right, the effects of the 4th of July celebrations on children. The results, simply put, children who attend some sort for 4th of July celebration will more than likely turn out to be…. Republicans…
• Fourth of July celebrations have a significant impact upon people’s political preferences;
• Attending one Fourth of July before age 18 increases the likelihood of identifying as a Republican by at least 2 percent and voting for the Republican candidate by 4 percent. It also increases voter turnout by 0.9 percent and boosts political campaign contributions by 3 percent. (The press release)
So for me, I say if that is the case, than every child should attend a BBQ or parade on the 4th of July. Maybe our nation will than have a chance to survive.
But the better questions is why does 4th of July celebrations turn kids in to Republicans, and not Democrats? My simple answer, Republicans love America, Democrats despise her, so they wont show up at a 4th of July celebration anyway.
A Brief History of Fourth of July
(Taken from the research paper)
On July 3, 1776, John Adams, the second president of the United States wrote “[Fourth of July]
ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance…It ought to be solemnized with pomp and
parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this
continent to the other, from this time forward, forevermore” (Adams, 1776, p. 3).9 In the years that followed, Fourth of July was the only national holiday, marking the date of the nation’s existence and serving as a display of national unity. The latter function of Independence Day was particularly important in helping the scattered citizens of 13 states view themselves as part of a single nation (Waldstreicher, 1995; Travers, 1997; Heintze, 2007). Celebrations in the early republic included militia drills, processions, readings of the Declaration, dinners, and fireworks. 10 Present-day festivities took form in the late 19th and early 20th century, being part of the Progressive Movement’s effort to revive civic ceremonies on Fourth of July. Appelbaum (1989) describes how the tastes of the progressive reformers ran towards “patriotic pageants, patriotic music, parades with patriotic floats, marching units patriotically costumed in period dress, and tableaux vivants depicting patriotic scenes in American history” (Appelbaum, 1989, p. 141). Through campaigns such as “Safe and Sane July Fourth”, the reformers sought to convince local civic officials to make the public holiday resemble a playground festival, in which children performed dramatic skits and dances (Smilor, 1980; Glassberg, 1987). In documenting Fourth of July celebrations in Minnesota in the early and mid 20th century, Nemanic (2007) writes “Independence Day programs featured events for the entire family, with particular emphasis placed on children…festivities would begin with a noisy wakeup ritual followed by a patriotic parade. Afterwards, a formal ceremony might be held that included orations and readings from the Declaration of Independence. The afternoon offered an array of contests, concerts, and sporting events. In the evening,…a torch light parade might be held…Fireworks ended most celebrations” (Nemanic, 2007, p. 121).
Celebrations in the first half of the 20th century were political events. Local politicians were
involved in planning for the occasion, as well as providing financial support to the Fourth of July
festivities. They also participated actively in the parades and presented orations during the formal ceremonies. Many used the holiday to campaign or to gain visibility between campaigns by giving political speeches. In the cities, civic groups and political parties organized separate events to further their particular cause (Appelbaum, 1989; Nemanic, 2007).
Fourth of July in the 1950’s and the 1960’s included beauty contests, auto races, regattas, dog
shows, and parachute-jumping contests, as well as traditional parades and orations (Appelbaum, 1989). The holiday became increasingly commercialized as businesses took over the Fourth of July program sponsorship from town volunteer committees and the political parties (Nemanic, 2007). Also, the backyard barbecue was institutionalized during this period, making Fourth of July a more private tradition among friends as opposed to a community festival. As a consequence of the holiday’s changed character, the event became depoliticized. While Fourth of July celebrations in the last 40 years have kept much of the private features introduced in the 1950’s and 1960’s, some of the patriotic practices from the beginning of the 20th century were reintroduced. Contemporary festivities can be full-day affairs, with parades and speeches in the morning followed by afternoon barbecues, tailgating, and evening fireworks (Heintze, 2007).
9John Adams’ letter to his wife, Abigail, actually spoke of July 2, the date the resolution of independence was approved, but from the outset, Americans celebrated independence on Fourth of July, the date shown on the Declaration of Independence (Appelbaum, 1989).
10Historic accounts further document how newspapers played a vital role in spreading common Fourth of July practices across the country (Waldstreicher, 1995; Newman, 1999).
I pray that everyone has a blessed, fun and safe 4th of July celebration, and God Bless America!
God Bless
Paul

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Just a question…. Is it really a good idea for any one, the president, a senator or just some low level person to announce our military plans? Last night President Obama told the nation, and the world, that his is going to withdraw troupes from Afghanistan. Is this really a smart thing to do?
I’m not questioning the withdraw, I will leave that to another blog, but I am questioning the announcement. Should the American people be told everything? Do we really want to tell the world our plans?
I think not.
Once again, this is not an Obama blast, but a blast in principal…. We, the American people, seen to think that we have a right to know everything… Before it happens….
I’m not to sure it’s the smartest thing to do, “Hey everyone, we are withdrawing on this day and time” … Why not just sent the enemy the plan or post it on Facebook so they can download it!
I never understood this, never. Something’s should not be for general consumption. And military plans are one of them. But I seem to be a minority in this view, The American public seems to feel they should know before hand. Why? withdraw if that’s what we need to do, then tell us. That way it’s a surprise to us as well as our enemy…
Sometimes the whole 24/7 news is not a good thing, this coming from a new junkie, but sometimes we just don’t need to know…
All the sex scandals for example, ok, tell us once and move on, we really don’t need to hear about every detail of every photo taken and sent, nor do we need to know the play by play of this ones or that ones love child. By the way, I have an issue with that term, Love Child, shouldn’t it be more like “I cheated on my wife child”? But that’s also another blog…
We are infatuated with sex scandals in this nation, we drag them on, sometimes for longer than the “relationship” itself. We, as a nation, really do need to get a life…
On that note…
God Bless
Paul

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Below is more from my new talk I am to give in August. This is the 3rd priority out of 7. Please remember this is a work in progress, and these are mostly my notes to help me create the talk. I hope you enjoy….
The third priority is the priority of Family; this priority helps to ground you in the reality that you are here to serve others. Our families, be it blood relatives or extended family does not matter, teach us to place ourselves last in line. We must serve and protect that which is dearest to us. Faith in Family teaches us this lesson. What parent would not give their life to protect their child? What uncle or aunt would not wish for the best for their nieces and nephews? We are protectors and nurtures by nature, and this attribute is the backbone of third priority.
To protect and nurture others, our family, is place ourselves in a position of vulnerability. Yet this vulnerability creates in us a sense of value, giving us a purpose that we could not posses without our faith if family.
Word Origin & History
family
c.1400, "servants of a household," from L. familia "household," including relatives and servants, from famulus "servant," of unknown origin. The classical L. sense recorded in Eng. from 1545; the main modern sense of "those connected by blood" (whether living together or not) is first attested 1667. Replaced O.E. hiwscipe. Buzzword family values first recorded 1966. Phrase in a family way "pregnant" is from 1796. Family circle is 1809; family man, one devoted to wife and children, is 1856 (earlier it meant "thief," 1788, from family in slang sense of "the fraternity of thieves"). Online Etymology Dictionary, © 2010 Douglas Harper
Servant of a household, one who serves others, the act of being a servant is not the act of servitude, there is a basic difference, one being an action we choose (servant) the other an action place upon us (servitude). By choosing too freely serve others, we are choosing the higher ground, we are choosing to place our priorities in the proper order.
It is in the love of one’s family only that heartfelt happiness is known. It is in the love of one’s family only that heartfelt happiness is known.
Thomas Jefferson
Balancing a job and a family is not the hardest thing to achieve. It’s second. (Right after world peace.) Balancing a job and a family is not the hardest thing to achieve. It’s second. (Right after world peace.)
Barbara Dale
God Bless
Paul
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Sometimes I like to give tips on what you can do to help improve your life, so today I thought I would do just that. We all have read or heard top ten list, we have them for everything, but all to often they are hard to follow, or in truth, they are the top ten topics, each containing 10 to-do items. Well I’m not going to do that, I am going to give you a list of actual action items that you can do today, and my list is not going to be the top 10 of anything, but a much more manageable list of 7, one for each day of the week. You decide in what order they go and the priority they deserve, who knows you better than yourself, definitely not me.
You know yourself, even if you don’t think you do, so this list is going to help you, daily, define and refine yourself. Follow it with persistence and I guarantee you will see a new and better you in no time.
What you will need
- Outlook or any email that will send you notification
- Journal or Blog
- The desire to make change in your life
- A good attitude
A good Attitude
A good attitude is paramount to this plan, you must approach the daily tasks with a positive upbeat outlook, or the daily task is dead before you even begin. How we approach things is often times more important that what we are approaching. If we approach any task with a negative attitude we defeat the purpose before we even start, regardless of the task. For example, if our task is simple to clean the house, our attitude will determine our enjoyment of the task. If we look at house cleaning as a negative, we will, by our very nature, dread the task, we will clean it not because we see value in it, but because we know we must. For anyone who have children you know what I am talking about. How often do we say to our kids “If you would put as much effort into doing _____(what ever it is) as you do in trying not to do it, you would be done with it”. Be it homework or taking out the garbage. We instinctively know that how we approach any task determines the outcome.
We have all seen this in action, the person at work whom we know are not as smart or talented as us, yet they seem to get all the breaks. They seem to take each assignment in stride and with a smile. Often times, in the workplace, school or just life in general, the person who shows more initiative or “spunk” gets the choice assignments or the “break” that we, ourselves, were striving for. It’s all in our attitude, how we are perceived. So we must, if we truly want to see change, approach each and every tasks with a positive attitude, if we desire to see change.
The set up
Using your outlook or email account you will enter one task per day, setup automatic notification to be sent to you via your cell phone or email. Each morning when you check your email or your text messages on your phone you will be reminded of your daily task. To help keep you on task you will, at the end of each day, journal about you achievements. You can use the “tried and true” method of pen and paper journaling or start an online blog. I would recommend the blog for a few reasons, 1) Keeping a blog will allow you to access your journal from anywhere, and allow you to update your progress when ever you feel a need. 2) Because it is online, others can read and post comments about your progress. This can be a very useful tool, allowing you to asses the viewpoints of others. But either way is fine, what ever works best for you. Once you have the tools you need, now its time to enter your 7 tasks…
- Read: Spend 30 minutes reading an uplifting or positive book or article. The goal is to read something that will help you improve your life, it can be the bible or self-help book or even an online newsletter that is sent to your email inbox. But set aside 30 minuets on this day to do just that, nothing else, allowing yourself to enter fully into what ever you are reading. If you do this daily, that’s ok also, but it is important to set aside 30 minutes at least once a week to “exercise” your mind.
- Give: Once a week find somehow to give back to your community, be it at your local church or outreach center or your community schools. Giving is proven to increase your health and provides the giver with much more than they gave. By giving I do not mean money, yes money is needed, but I am talking about time and talent. Find a way to give 30 minuets once a week to your community. Giving does not have to be in an official way, you don’t have to find a volunteer organization to work with, you could just call your child’s teacher and ask if there is anything you can do to help out, maybe even at home or if you can, in the classroom. Be creative.
- Family: Once a week set aside at least 30 minutes of uninterrupted family time. This means no phones no email and no TV. Go to the park, play a board game, read to your younger children. Anything that is quality time. If you have no kids, than spend the time with your wife or significant other. And if you don’t have that than your brothers or sisters or whom ever you consider family. The idea here is to create quality moments with loved ones, whom ever they are.
- De-clutter: Once a week pick an area in your home or office to de-clutter, be it your junk drawer or your office desk. Be it a small 5 minute job or a whole weekend job. Clutter in your living and working environment adds clutter to your life. Cleaning out your desk drawers will help you clean out your mind and soul. We, by our nature, are pack rats, some worse than others, but we all do it. We may think we are not, but it never ceases to amaze me that I can take a carload to Saint Vincent DePaul’s and 6 months later I have more. It seems that’s when we de-clutter the first time, we hold on to some stuff “just incase”, than 6 months later we de-clutter again and realize that “just incase” never happened.
- Beautify: Look around you and find one place, one spot that needs a “face-lift” needs to be brightened up or just given the once over. Create a container garden for the house or office. Repaint a room or paint your first masterpiece, find someway to add beauty to your daily life. We all have experienced the power of a sunset or the view from a vista that has taken our breath away, remember the feeling and recreate it in your life.
- Pamper: We all like to be pampered, so once a week pamper yourself. Take yourself out to a fancy dinner, get a manicure or massage. Fine one way each week to indulge yourself. This could be on your own or with someone else. We all know that one thing that makes us feel that something special, do it, enjoy without guilt. It could be as simple as getting that special chocolate you like or just taking a hot bath with a glass of good wine. What ever it is, find it and do it.
- Stretch: Each week find one way to stretch yourself, to take yourself out of your comfort zone and stretch. Like any exercise, we need to stretch, and changing yourself is no different. Yes, for some all 7 tasks may seem life stretching, and that may be true. But it is important to find new and exciting ways to stretch, just like in a good workout routine, you must change it up or the muscles will get use to the route, and no value will be added. If we only stick to the first 6 task, they will become routine, and that’s fine, we want that, but we also want to keep stretching, and task 7 does just that. If you don’t like public speaking, than volunteer to read to children at the local school or library one week. If you hate politics, attend a political event. What ever it is, what every stretches you, find it and do it, changing it up each week, allowing different “muscles” to be used.
So there you have it, 7 tasks to help you become a better you. So set them as daily reminders in your email and remember to approach each and everyone with a positive attitude. At the end of each day journal about it, how did it make you feel, what did you do, what did you learn about yourself and/or others. The journaling is just as important as the task itself, the process of journaling allows you to process the task, forces you to look deeper in to it and often times allows you to see things you never would have with out the journaling.
God Bless
Paul
Get a Life Coach to help you achieve your goals…
www.guidedinsightlifecoach.com
42.303780
-83.378959
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Attitude, you got one?
Paul Sposite
Guided Insight Life Coach
(Something to read, and help you with your attitude)
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Posted by Paul Sposite on February 8, 2012 in Change, Control, Education, Ego, Faith, History, Improvement, Life, Religon, Self, selfhelp
Tags: action, advice, areas, aspects, assessment, attitude, attitudes, bathroom, Beatitudes, Best, Change, children, commentary, conventions, conversation, courage, coworker, department, depression, discontentment, discovery, disposition, dispositions, dyer, effort, Faith, forces, Frame, friends, generation, George, glass, goal, great, greatest, Hall, heart, heaven, Hers, History, human, husband, image, Improvement, James, Jesus, justice, kingdom, knowledge, leader, leisure, lesson, lessons, Life, Look, luck, manner, Martha, mercy, misery, moments, money, Nation, Nope, Notice, office, Once, ones, opinions, orientation, outlook, peace, persecution, person, pitfalls, politics, Prayer, realign, Refocus, religion, reminder, revolution, Self, shall, situation, solution, soul, Source, spirit, start, Still, task, teacher, Teachers, tendency, theirs, Thirst, times, tools, towards, Verse, visor, wallet, Washington, Wayne, wife, William, woman, word, words, worth