Holistic Health

I believe in natural remedies and try to use them when ever I can, luckily I have a holistic doctor I trust with my life. Dr. Kim has been able to get me off of all my prescription and on to natural supplements  and I have never felt better, except one thing that never seemed to go away, my constant feel of no energy  I was tired from the time awoke until the time I went to bed, nothing the doctors (Dr. Kim and my MD) did seemed to help, until I discovered ASEA, a water supplement that has changed everything.

What is ASEA

It’s not just natural. It’s native.

ASEA is trillions of stable, perfectly balanced Redox Signaling Molecules suspended in a pristine saline solution—the same molecules that exist in the cells of the human body.

Redox Signaling is a function that is central to all life on the planet. Redox Signaling molecules are created within every cell of the body and are vital to the immune system and to cellular healing mechanisms. They are so essential to life that without them, you would die within seconds. A proper supply of Redox Signaling molecules enables cellular healing: damaged, dysfunctional cells fading away and healthy, vibrant cells taking over.

Redox Signaling molecules are vital for the health of your cells; that’s why your body makes its own supply. But after the age of 12, our cells make fewer and fewer of these molecules. ASEA is the world’s only source for replenishing Redox Signaling molecules.

http://paulsposite.teamasea.com/src/enterprise/images/5IJKUEGSATFRNARGVGYRVJEHTICSKHQJDFSGABBBCJLYLNRIHOI881.jpg

I have taken ASEA for about one week now, and truth be told, I felt it taking effect from day one, my energy levels have never been higher. But it is not like a caffeine buzz, no energy drink high than crash, just a nice, natural energy flow… I can’t explain it, and I wont try, but I will tell you, You Need To Try ASEA For Yourself and See! 

Check out my website:
http://paulsposite.teamasea.com/Default.aspx
and find out more….

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

 

Related articles

• Asea scientifically proven to boost antioxidants by 500% (reviveuhealthblog.wordpress.com)
• The human body and ASEA (advancingyourlife.net)
• Asea Oxidant Stress (reviveuhealthblog.wordpress.com)
• Guiding forces behind ASEA (advancingyourlife.net)
• Low glutathione levels (advancingyourlife.net)
• Meet Alan Noble: ASEA (reviveuhealthblog.wordpress.com)

 

Spring Cleaning: A Leadership skill

Spring is a time for cleaning, you know, Spring Cleaning…

- Yard work

- All the closets in the house

- The Garage

- The Windows

- The Walls

Every surface and every corner gets a good deep cleaning, places you haven’t looked at all winter and now you are obligated to, for Spring Cleaning is a passage, a passage from the bleak dark days of winter in to the glory of spring and all she offers. The new growth, the smells and the sun. Yep, spring cleaning is as much apart of spring as Halloween is of autumn. And for the most part, we look forward to spring cleaning because we understand the importance of it. Not just the simple fact that we are clearing out the dust of the past 8 months, but there is more to it, it goes deeper than just that. There is something about it, something that seems to touch our deepest being.

How do I know this, just look at that facts, a quick search on Amazon for books on spring cleaning and I get 2201 hits, and a Google search returns about 112,000,000 hits…. Now tell me that people don’t feel a deep need to clear out the dust and cobwebs once per year, starting off fresh and new.

Now, I offer you Spring Cleaning: A Leadership Skill, a skill that every leader or want-to-be leader needs in their tool box. So what is it, what exactly is Spring Cleaning for Leaders? Well it’s not cleaning out the old corner office nor is it having all the workers clean up the work place. It’s not a fresh paint job, although all those things should be done from time to time. But that’s not leadership, that’s cleanliness.

Spring Cleaning Leadership has more to do with the person than the possessions. It’s a time for a leader to stop and look deep into the corners of their minds, to scrub every surface of their hearts and to open up the windows of their souls and let the fresh air in, once again.

Cleaning the deep corners of the mind

This is a perfect time to look at your deeply held thoughts and beliefs, a time to reevaluate your long-standing positions and to seek out new ways to approach issues, people and life. Lets say that you have always held the position that your job, as a leader, has always been one of dictatorship, that you give orders and they follow. And lets say that it has worked for you, that over the years people have always said that you’re a dictator, but you always get the job done right and on time. Over all, not a bad record. The job is done and on time and as a bonus, it was done right the first times.

So your thinking, great, this leader can skip the first step, they have no room for change or improvement. Why mess with what works… As the old saying goes, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!

But lets look at it anyway, lets pretend…

So what would the leader have to look at, what corner of the heart needs fixin’? Well, a lot of the depends on what the leader considers important in their life. Is the only goal to complete the task or do they see more? Do they see personal development of their people as important? Or is it just get the job done, do what you have always done, the same way you always have, we have a proven method that has worked for years and years and will continue to work for years to come. We are like a well oiled machine, no monkey wrenches needed.

Sure, the job will get done, and sure it will be right the first time, but are we missing something that may have improved it, something that may have saves time, effort or money? Maybe that person you hired to do job “X” had a new idea that would have save time and effort for the person doing job “Z”… Or maybe the person doing job “X” would be better at job “Z”… the possibilities are endless, yet we will never know them if we hold true to our deepest convictions that this is the way its done, always has been and always will be…

 

Even the best leaders can get caught in the trap of familiarity. So spring is a perfect time to re-examine your methods.. Are they really the best way or just the known way?

 

Scrubbing every surface of the heart

Leaders, true leaders are servants, and must have a servant’s heart. This is a fact, not just a nice saying. Someone can be the boss and call themselves a leader, but if they do not have a servant’s heart they are nothing more than a boss. And truth be told, anyone can be a boss, its really not to hard to “boss” people around. But a leader, a true leader, they are few and far between, leaders grow into true leadership, it is rare to find a natural servant leader, it is more often than not that the person worked long and hard scrubbing the surfaces of their heart before anyone would truly call them a servant leader. So what exactly is scrubbing of the heart, and how does one do so?

We all have dark places with in our heart, places where we hold deep grudges or prejudices. Places within our hearts where the light of servanthood cannot and does not shine. Places that even we fear to go. It is exactly those places that we must scrub. But how? How does one scrub the deep dark places of the heart…

Work, lots and lots of work… Prayer and humility are the best places to begin.

Lets look at the example from above, the same leader who got the job done on time and right every time. Once again, not a bad thing, and lets say that over all they are open-minded to new and different approaches… So, so far a good leader, they allow people of offer new ways of doing things, and allow people to try new and different jobs, if time allows for it and the circumstances are appropriate.

That’s a good over all rule, one would not want to risk messing up on a major project, sometimes the old ways are the best ways. But if the job is less risky and time permits, it makes sense to allow a little experimentation to take place.

But now lets say that such a job was taking place, a job that allows for this. Perfect… So worker “A” wants to try their hand at something new, they ask for the opportunity and its granted… Perfect… so far… worker “B” also asks to try their hand at something new, but this time is denied. Now lets say that both workers have the same level of experience and time on the job, that both workers are qualified to do the tasks at hand, but for some unknown reason, worker “B” is denied.

The leader gave a reason, something along the line of, we just can’t afford to put you on that job, you are needed here. Sounds good, in fact it sounds like a complement. Sounds like you are so valuable to the task at hand tat we can not afford to risk losing you to the other job.

Here is where the leader must stop and look deep within… Is that the real reason or is there a deeper darker reason. Is it because the person is no the same-sex, age, race or religion as they are? Is it because once, many moons ago they did or said something that you found hurtful or offensive, or maybe once, in the distance past, they messed up a job, and you had to take the blame for it… There can be millions of reasons why… But none are valid.

It is time to scrub the heart, to remove the old hurts and hate and to replace it with understanding and forgiveness. You may not like that person very much, on a personal basis, but that should have no bearing on the job at hand. If they can do the work and do it to the standards that everyone else on the team must meet, than they should be given the opportunity, to succeed or fail, the same as anyone else.

But change does  not happen over night, it is a long and hard process, one that needs to be worked on little by little… The first step is for the leader to recognize that there heart needs a good spring cleaning, the second step, list the dirty spots down, know what needs to be scrubbed away. And the lest step, start cleaning, pick one dirty spot, clean it and then move on to the next. Just like cleaning the walls of your house, you don’t move around randomly from wall to wall, spot to spot… You pick one wall to start on and clean it before moving on to the next.

Open up the windows of the soul to let the fresh air in

Leadership, authentic leadership, is a relationship with yourself and others, the group and individual. Leadership is never in a void or vacuüm, it is always in the eye of the storm, and this is where we will discover the soul of any great leader.

The image  of the eye of the storm is a strong image, one that invokes many other images, such as power and calmness, force and anti-force. Any great leader will tell you that is with in the storm that leaders are often times born. The forces that play upon the soul of such a person do not destroy them, but rather they ignites within them the sleeping giant that waits to be awaken.

We have all witnessed such leadership, think of times in your life when just the right person steps forward to take control, think of times of tragedy or strife, times of chaos and confusion.

Leaders seem to always emerge from such things. It is the soul that moves them into action. It was the winds of change and chaos that propelled them into the eye of the storm. They opened up the windows within their souls and allowed the wind to blow thru and into their soul. Leaders not by choice but by baptism, baptism of fire.

I could go back to the example I used above, but to  me, it seems it would cheapen the soul to do so. This spring cleaning project stands on its own…

Not every great leader was born of the eye of the storm, but every great leader must walk into that very same eye, and the only way to do so is to open your windows…

So what are the windows of the soul? and how does one open them…?

The eyes are said to be the windows of our souls, and I, for one believe this to be. How often have I heard the phrase, look me in the eyes when you are talking to me… and how often I have said the same… But why… Why is it so important to look into the eyes…

Because we all seem to see something more than just the eyes, we all seem to see deeper…

Leaders need to work with open eyes, nit just eyes that see the task at hand, but eyes the seem to see the underlying current of their team, eyes that can see the slight difference in a persons face or eyes that notice the off color of a persons personality. Eyes that are open to see the colors of the world, even in the darkness of it.

Leaders do not need to be told what is going on, they should be able to perceive it from not what there eyes see but rather from what there eyes tell them. Leaders learn to listen to there eyes (souls) rather then to see with them. The windows of the soul are the eyes that are open, that see the path that leads in the storm, if that is necessary, and out of the storm, if that is required. Leaders think not of the safe exit of themselves, but of the team whom they lead. And the soul, if allowed to do so, will lead them into the storm or around the storm, but it will never avoid the storm.

So how do we open our windows, and allow the fresh air in? We allow the eyes to do the souls bidding, we allow the winds to guide us. But to do this we need to first learn how to open the windows… How to feel the wind upon our soul and how to freely go wear the wind directs.

We have to practice observation, we need to learn to see the tree with in the forest and the breeze upon the leaf. In the office this means seeing everyone as a person, not just a worker, at home this means seeing family members as individuals and not a collective and in the community at large it means seeing each member of the community as a individual being.

For example, how many times have you ever been compared to others, such as, When so-and-so did this job, they did it this way… In the eyes of that person, you are not an individual, but rather part of the collective, many of the one, rather than one of the many. In larger companies this seems to be, more often than not, the case. How often people say, I feel just like a number to them, not a person”. The eyes of the corporation are closed and has no soul. But leaders to, if there eyes are open.

Experiment, learn to see things differently, try to notice one new thing in your office/home/school/community each day, teach your eyes to see deeper and allow your soul to take you… Pray and be still, be open to hear the soul and allow the moment to take you… Like any other skill, this takes practice…

And in the End…

Like anything in life, hard work and dedication to the task at hand is paramount in completing the task, the same can be said for leadership and change. The opportunity to do a little “Spring Cleaning” is an opportunity to start fresh… no examine your life, your leadership and to make changes for the better,

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

 

Mother, Daughter and John 15:13

A friend of mine was texting me the other night with issues she was having with her daughter, Mothers Day had come and passed and all she received from her daughter was a text stating Happy Mothers Day. Shallow and cold, I will admit, but not unexpected. The relationship between them has always been a bit strained. Even as a young child, the daughter is now in her 20’s, she was a self-centered child. Looking to always serve her own interest. The blame, as always, lies between the parents and the personality of the child.

Her parents are divorced, I do not know the father, but know the mother well. She holds on to the divorce live a badge, she will not let it go, never have and most likely never will. She is bitter and hurt. For what I do not know, for I only know one side of the story. And as we all know, one side of a two-sided story is never enough. What I do know is the deep roots this divorce has caused. I have known the mother for over 15 years, at one time we dated, and we have remained friends after the break-up. Her lack of ability to let it go causes much pain in her and those around her, this, of course, cause issues with-in the family unit. From what I can tell, based on what I have been told by the mother and the kids, she has two, a boy and girl, the father is not very concerned with rules. He is laid back and not very concerned with structure. Is that the case, I do not know, like I said I have never had the change to meet him. But it is the narrative played out in the kids and mother.

The mother, she is controlling and likes structure, she is deeply emotional and likes lots of affirmations, one could say she is needy.  Is she a bad person, no, I think she has a big heart and means well, but I do think she has a difficult time defining love, to me it seems she places a tangible value on love and fails to see love as intangible. She needs to “see” love, the feeling is not enough.

Sure, I will be the first to admit Love is many things, tangible and intangible, but I will also be the first to admit that Love is not one thing, it’s not seeing over feeling, and Love does not always show it self in the ways we would expect. Sometimes the smallest of acts, a smile at just the right moment, says Love more than the words could ever do, Sometimes, but not Always…

Sometimes that same smile can be spiteful and hurtful… Love is…. What is it?

The bible offers us many passages about love, but the one that came to mind when I was talking to my friend, trying to help her through the latest issue with her daughter was this…

John 15:13

¹³ Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.

^{New American Standard Bible (NASB)}

 

Why this passage of all passages… The Holy Spirit works in odd ways, let me tell you….

Some back ground of the conversations:

As I said, the daughter text her “Happy Mothers Day” her son, who is in Mexico as part of his seminarian training, called her and talked for 2 hours. A drastic difference, but the two kids are as different as night and day, so not unexpected. But back to the issue at hand.

She asked me what I thought of it all, my response, What did you expect from her. Her response, Love. This conversation went on for about 45 minutes (by the way, I hate texting).

She asked for my advice on what she should do, my advice, same as it has been for a few years now, Stop expecting what she will not provide you. Her response, What, I should not expect my daughters love.

Not exactly what I was talking about, I explained that she loves you, but you will never get the response you want, and if you keep setting yourself up for disappointment, that’s what you will always get.

Still no go, her questions, Is it so wrong for a mother to want her child’s love. My response, No, it’s not wrong, but you cannot force anyone to love you in the way you want or need. Love does not force, it does not control and it is not needy. She did not really like that response from me. Sometimes the truth hurts.

But she knows me well, and she knows I always speak my mind and tell it as I see it. No harm was intended and I am sure no harm was done. So she asked for clarification.

My clarifications, We have to learn to accept the love that is offered, not try to change the love to be what we want. This did not help. She still felt that love was a tangible thing.

Her plan of action

The daughter’s birthday is next month, so her plan is to give her daughter a photo of the three of them, the mother and the two kids. Sounds nice, unless you know the daughter, and I do… She will reject this, not because she hates her brother and not because she hates her mother, but she will reject it out of spite. Just to retain the control over her mother. The more she rejects her mom, the more control she has over her. Her mothers need for tangible love is strong, and her mothers need to control is strong (she is a passive aggressive controller).So the rejection of the photo would only lead to the mother feeling hurt and trying to figure out what she can do to earn her daughters love. This, of course, gives the daughter all the power, and the mother none.

My response to the planed gift, Not a good idea. Do not play into her hands. So what than should I do, was her next question.. Text her, Happy Birthday, and offer her a dinner. Leave it at that… She was not happy with that recommendation. Her concern, if the daughter rejects the dinner invite, that would hurt more, and she really wants to give the photo and birthday card.

The real concern, she wants to gain the upper hand, to have control, to tug at her daughter’s heart-strings, and she thinks the family photo will do the trick.

But she is missing the point, the text and dinner offer gives her the control, the daughter would not expect the same treatment she gives her mother. Now some would say I was being childish, but I beg to differ. The response is not meant to hurt, but to level the playing field, to stop setting oneself up for one disappointment after another, to start to accept the kind of love the daughter was offering and to learn that sometimes we must let go.

So this is the point where I offered my bible verse:

¹³ Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.

The point of the passage was missed on her. But it was too late at night for me to get in to is, so I told her to think on it. She asked me to send her an email explaining it to her, so this post is my response (I will only send her the part concerning the passage, all the above back ground information is for us only…Unless she reads this blog…)

Why did that passage pop into me head as a good passage to use? What was the Holy Spirit leading me to? And how do I explain it? Well here I will try:

When most people read that passage, the first think that comes to mind is Jesus upon the cross, offering up His life for our sins. Offering it up freely… WOW, that is true love and friendship. So most of us think of it as the ultimate act of sacrifice for love and friendship, to offer ones life, and it is, if it is not takes to lightly. We read stories and see it on the news, people placing themselves in danger for a child or a loved one, we even see it being done for total strangers (think Boston Marathon bombing).

The gift of life should never be taken lightly and should never be given lightly. But is that the only way one can lay down ones life for a friend? I think not!

*Parents lay down their life for their children on a daily basis. Not always by risking death, sometimes it is by stand by their child through a sickness or by supporting a child through hard times. The love of a parent knows no bounds. The parent knows that rejection of the love is always a possibility, but it is offered anyway, parents know a child my do something that may go beyond anything they may have ever dreamed their child was capable of (think school shootings), but even than a parent will stand by their child. They may not approve of the child’s actions, they may even be the ones to turn them in to the authorities, but there love for that child does not falter. They are willing to take the mean words offered to them by others who do not understand, that will defend their child even if it means they to are persecuted. This is a death they are willing to undertake for their child. Not a physical death, but yet, it is still a death.

Consider a parent of an addict, they offer help and forgiveness to their child, they take them in and support them, only to have the addiction take over their child, yet again. But they continue to support and make excuse for the child, to shelter them from the crudeness of the world. Thinking that they are helping the child, suffering with the child, only to see the child falter again. This is not laying down ones life, it is protection of ones own life. The child needs to learn how to fail, so they can learn how not to fail. For the parent this means to let the child fail, and in doing so, they to will feel the failures the disappointments and resentment of and from the child. This is a death, but like the death of Jesus, there is a resurrection, a new life.

The new life comes from the child’s understanding that actions have consequences, that the addiction causes pain. But if the parent kept sheltering the child, the pain is always shifted to the parent, the child takes no responsibility for their actions. But by the parent allowing the child to feel the failure the parent is also allowing the child to grow to learn and to experience a new life. And the parent is also allowed to grow, to learn and to experience a new life. This most likely will not happen in tandem with each other, the parent may experience the new life before the child even realizes what has just happened, or the parent may take years to come to terms with the fact that they allowed their child to fail. But in the end, Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends… And a life can be laid down in many ways.

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

* The examples are given to illustrate a point, I am not implying that this is always the case. And before anyone starts yelling at me about the addiction example, yes I do understand additions, yes, I know what I am talking about… But remember, it was an example, not a real life situation, so deal with it…

 

 

 

 

Related articles

• A Mother’s Love (modernmanofthecloth.com)
• Mothers’ Day: Damn I Forgot!! (thoughtsthatforge.wordpress.com)

 

Gen Leadership

Leadership is all-to-often defined in terms that can often times sound controlling or manipulative. Back in 1982 or 83 I was given the opportunity to take the Dale Carnegie course in Effective Communications, part of the course content was his book, How to win friends and influence people, the title never sat well with me, and it was not until years latter when I took the Christopher’s Leadership course did I understand why I did not like the book title, and truth be told, was not overly pleased with the Dale Carnegie course as a whole, the reason, to me it seems that the Dale Carnegie course was all based on manipulating people, not leading them. To me, leadership is not about manipulation but more about Generosity, Generations, Generativity and Engender.

Leadership in not about control or manipulation but rather relationships.

The four words I above to describe leadership all share the root of GEN – from Greek genoa, from Latin genus -  Greek -genēs born, produced; akin to Latin genus, kin. Leadership is Kinship, relation. When we are being true leaders we are building a kind of kinship, a kind of family as it were. Leadership depends upon a feeling of belonging, a feeling of being part of the over all group – the extended family – and manipulation of others does not achieve that goal.

Lets look at each word:

Generosity:

gen·er·os·i·ty

/ˌdʒɛn əˈrɒs ɪ ti/  [jen-uh-ros-i-tee]

noun, plural gen·er·os·i·ties.

1. readiness or liberality in giving.

2. freedom from meanness or smallness of mind or character.

3. a generous act: We thanked him for his many generosities.

4. largeness or fullness; amplitude.

A leader is one who is ready to give, to give of there knowledge and experience, with out expecting anything in return. A leader is large in Character, one who works hard to remove meanness as one of there attributed and is quick to give thanks and praise when needed. Leaders, true leaders, do not look to others to make themselves look good, but rather help others to achieved there goals and allowing them to take all the credit once the goal has been achieved.

Generation:

gen·er·a·tion

/ˌdʒɛn əˈreɪ ʃən/ [jen-uh-rey-shuh n] 

noun

1. the entire body of individuals born and living at about the same time: the postwar generation.

2. the term of years, roughly 30 among human beings, accepted as the average period between the birth of parents and the birth of their offspring.

3. a group of individuals, most of whom are the same approximate age, having similar ideas, problems, attitudes, etc. Compare Beat Generation, Lost Generation.

4. a group of individuals belonging to a specific category at the same time: Chaplin belonged to the generation of silent-screen stars.

5. a single step in natural descent, as of human beings, animals, or plants.

Leadership is not in a void, no leader can ever claim to have become a leader without look back to past generations. We do not exist in a void, we are not omnipotent – having very great or unlimited authority or power – we achieve greatness but learning from the past. Our present is based on the great leaders of past generations, and out future generations will be built upon our examples of leadership. No leader stands alone, all leaders build upon the leaders of generations gone by.

Generativity:

generativity

Part of Speech: n

Definition:
a concern for others developed during middle age, esp.a need to nurture and guide younger people and contribute to the next generation

Leaders, authentic leaders, do not keep there knowledge to themselves, they freely give of it, they use there skills to help build the leaders of the generations yet to come. Mentoring is an essential pare of leadership, a leader with out  monitories is like a ship with out a sail, no leader can lead if they do not first and foremost  teach there skills to others, Leadership is teaching on a higher plane, and a teacher with out a pupil is no teacher at all, they are nothing more than a blowhard with an audience.

Engender:

en·gen·der

/ɛnˈdʒɛn dər/ [en-jen-der] 

verb (used with object)

1. to produce, cause, or give rise to: Hatred engenders violence.

2. to beget; procreate.

verb (used without object)

3. to be produced or caused; come into existence: Conditions for a war were engendering in Europe.

Leaders produce they rise up and they procreate, leaders bring into existence ideas and actions, they procreate but helping to build the leaders of tomorrow, they are, in short, the mothers and fathers of the next great leader, the next big revolution and the next breakthrough for humanity. Leaders are anything but static, they are dynamic in all meanings of the work.

Gen Leadership

Gen Leadership calls us to reexamine our motives and techniques we deploy as leaders. Are we leaders for our own sake, or leaders for the sake of others? Do we believe that we stand alone as a leaders, or we we stand with many generations of leaders?  Do we procreate, are we actively engaged in mentoring new leaders or do hold our leadership cards close to our chest?

Take some time to truly reflect upon the questions, reread the the four different GEN leadership qualities, examine the deeper meanings and see how they currently fit into your leadership style. If they don’t fit in, how can you add them in, what can you do to start to incorporate them into your leadership tool box?

Gen Leadership is more about others than about self, Gen Leadership looks to the past to see the future. Are you a Gen Leader?

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

Related articles

• 6 Leadership Mistakes to Avoid. (oddstuffmagazine.com)
• How Leaders Make the Most of Social Gatherings (inc.com)
• Are You Motivating the Wrong Person? (gwynteatro.wordpress.com)

 

The Most Important Result is Still To Come

The Most Important Result is Still To Come.

via The Most Important Result is Still To Come.

 

These are my thoughts… (a post from my friend)

A fantastic post by a good friend…..

 

These are my thoughts…

…shared mostly so you can understand where I am coming from, even if you disagree with me.

It is 11:47 pm right now and I should be sleeping. I should be sleeping but I am unable to. One hour ago, it appeared that the current president was going to win his bid for re-election. One hour ago, I walked into our family room and asked my husband to come join me in our room and hold me until I fell asleep. He fell asleep firs…(typical) I asked him to come hold me because I am scared. Here is the thing, I know I have a lot of friends who voted for ‘the other guy’ and I know that tonight is a night of celebration for you. I know you will be happy and think that you have reached a level of success. I know you are certain that something better has happened for our country. I know you are confident that you can believe in the change that you are striving for. And finally, I know that you don’t quite know why people like me are so scared. I thought I would let you know why. Because here is the thing, understanding where the ‘other’ is coming from is a good thing. I want to help you understand…. (To Keep reading, select here)

_____________________

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

 

Leadership or Anti-Leadership

U.S. Presidential flag, 1960-present (not usually called a "standard" in official U.S. government terminology). It is defined in Executive Order 10860. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

With the November election upon us, I think it’s a time to talk about leadership, what a leader is and is not. The qualities of a leader and the qualities of an anti-leader. It’s a time to reflect on what makes and what breaks a leader, a time to take an objective look at the office of the presidency and America.

Leadership is not an office, you are not elected to leadership you are elected to the seat of power and trusted into to a leadership role. But like all leadership roles, like anyone who has ever been propelled into leadership knows. the office dose not make a leader, but the leader can make the office. Many a great man has been pushed into fought for and obtained a leadership role, yet failed to live up to the role. History has proven that the roll of leadership is nota role destine for all, it takes a man of a certain cut, a man that knows, by instinct, what leadership is. Yes we can and we do train leaders, we can help to mold leaders, but… Leaders are not trusted nor are they created, they are born.

We read of leaders that seemed to be manifested out of thin air, trusted in to the roll, we read of extraordinary men and woman who seemed to have transformed into a leader with in seconds.But if we look, if we pay attention to there past, we would notice that leadership was always apart of there being, was always there, is small ways, seemingly unimportant ways.

Can a non-leader, and anti-leader truly transform into a leader, can they become the President, the leader of the free world just because they occupy the seat of power? Can a non-leader truly become a leader? Can we trust in them to instinctively know what a leader is, what a leader does? Can a leader ever truly be a non-leader, can they ever disregard the seat of power, abandon the status of the leader of the free world?

This election is an election leadership, who, among the two, is a true leader and who is an anti-leader. Who has the ability to fill the chair of power, who has the ability to lead the free world, what man can truly be the leader we need, the leader that will take America in the direction of prosperity and truly restore American pride?

The office demands more than just looking presidential, it demands leadership. The office commands respect from the nation, but more importantly it demands respect from the one who will sit in the seat of power. A leader respects the office they have been given, they do not, smugly, hold the office, demanding it to respect them. They do not command from the seat of power, they lead from it.

This election the choice is clear, Obama has not respected the seat of power, nor had he respected the people who have placed him that seat. He has disregarded the laws of the land, the the people the law meant to protect. He has walked over the graves of our Founding Fathers and torn up the Constitution of the great land, he has been trusted into a leadership roll he was not and is not meant to occupy, he has made a mockery of the office and the Nation. Obama has turned the presidency into an office of self-serving interest. The nation and her people are after thoughts, his own self-interest are paramount in his decision making. Leaders are selfless, not selfish.

Is Romney better? Is he a true leader? Will he restore Americas pride and power? Will he fill the chair of power, respect it and the American people, will the Constitution once again be the law of the land, will the Founding Fathers regain the respect of the office? In truth, I don’t know, but I do know that Obama must not win again, America cannot stand four more years of his anti-leadership qualities.

This November vote for America, vote for our Founding Fathers, vote to restore the Constitution, vote because American deserves a second chance.

God Bless

Paul Sposite

 

Retreat to Success: A Book Review

Anyone who has read my blog or knows me, knows that I love to read. You would also know that I love to read all different types of books, from Catholic to Stephen King and everything in-between, reading is the elixir of life, books are your friend when no one else it, books are the educators that don’t judge and the parents that teach you silently. I love books, I love to read, even in this day-and-age of eBooks, I still prefer the good old fashion paper books.

When ever I travel I always bring a few books, on my last trip to Mexico City I brought along a Stephen King book, “The wind through the key hole” and “Bill & Billy Moyer and Amber Fogarty’s “Retreat to Success”. This is the second book I have read by Bill & Billy, their fist, “Seeds of Success” was a joy to read and I was looking forward to reading “Retreat to Success”.

Like there first book, “Retreat” was short and to the point, something I love in self-help books. They see no reason to waste the reader’s time with lots of words, but rather, they get to the point and move on. Time is valuable and they understand this. But leaving out the unneeded words does nothing to diminish the effectiveness of this little book, in fact, if anything, it makes this book even more valuable is someone’s collection.

Each chapter of this book alternates between the three different authors as they journey together through a retreat. The insights they gain, the struggles they face and the lessons learned are laid out. Each unit contains the retreat masters questions and the attendees take-a-ways. Having attended weekend retreats before, I understand the mental and physical toll this can take on a person, the pure physical exhaustion one feels at the end of the retreat along with the feeling of accomplishment. I know, for me, that my mind races and new thoughts and ideas abound within me, and I seem to find new and exciting insights in every word uttered by the retreat master. To me that hard part is digesting the information, to find the one of two points that speak directly to my life, to my needs. Bill, Billy and Amber did just that, they where able to find the nuggets of information that not only spoke to them and there needs, but also to me. They made it personal, not only to themselves, but also personal to me. That is a hard thing to do, I know, I try to make that happen in each and every blog I write, it a fine wire between writhe an article that speaks to everyone and a journal that speaks to only the author, “Retreat to Success” does just that, if speaks to everyone.

I would recommend this book, along with their first book, to anyone who is serious about wanting to grow, to grow as a parent, a wife or husband or a business leader. Leadership is not just a corporate thing, in fact I would say that true leadership is more a  humanity thing than anything else. We all are leaders, or at least we all should be. By spend a few hours with a hot cup of tea, curled up in your favorite chair reading “Retreat to Success” will be time well spent. 

I love to read, I love to learn and I love to grow, and “Retreat to Success” fulfilled all three objectives. So what was my take-a-way from this book, what one nugget did I dig out of the book, that a goal should not be a tangible thing but an idea. For example, my goal should not be “I want to make a million dollars”, sure it’s a fine goal, but once I make it, than what. My goal should be “I want to be successful in my company”. The difference, the first goal places a value on my success, a million dollars, the second leaves room for continues improvement. Success is a moving target, something I need to always be monitoring and adjusting my actions to achieve, and in truth, one never fully achieves this goal, because success is a continuation, it never stops calling to you. Success is not measured by dollar amounts, but by relevance. How relevant are you? Whose life have you effected today, in a positive manner and how have your actions or lack of actions made a difference in the world around you, these are the measures of success, not how much money you have or how big your house is. Success is not things, success is legacy, what did you leave behind for others?

Read, learn and grow, the keys to success. Add Bill, Billy and Amber’s book “Retreat to Success” to your book collection, read it, learn from it and grow. It will be time well spent.

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

Link to their web site, SOS Leadership

 

Writing Your Life Resume

We all have created resumes in our life, it includes our education and work experience and sometimes we include the clubs and organizations we belong to. It is a must to get a new job. Our résumé is our foot in the door, it opens up the opportunities to a better job for ourselves. It is our work life history. But is it our history, does it truly represent us?

 

Leonardo’s résumé

Leonardo sent the following letter to Ludovico Sforza, the ruler of Milan, in 1482:

Most Illustrious Lord: Having now sufficiently seen and considered the proofs of all those who count themselves masters and inventors in the instruments of war, and finding that their invention and use does not differ in any respect from those in common practice, I am emboldened… to put myself in communication with your Excellency, in order to acquaint you with my secrets. I can construct bridges which are very light and strong and very portable with which to pursue and defeat an enemy… I can also make a kind of cannon, which is light and easy of transport, with which to hurl small stones like hail… I can noiselessly construct to any prescribed point subterranean passages — either straight or winding — passing if necessary under trenches or a river… I can make armored wagons carrying artillery, which can break through the most serried ranks of the enemy. In time of peace, I believe I can give you as complete satisfaction as anyone else in the construction of buildings, both public and private, and in conducting water from one place to another. I can execute sculpture in bronze, marble or clay. Also, in painting, I can do as much as anyone, whoever he may be. If any of the aforesaid things should seem impossible or impractical to anyone, I offer myself as ready to make a trial of them in your park or in whatever place shall please your Excellency, to whom I commend myself with all possible humility.

 

Our resumes tell our potential employer all about our work life, who we are, what we have accomplished, normally resumes are short, one to two pages and direct, to the point, leaving out the fluff. How often do you update your résumé, this exercise is in valuable, something that we should do yearly. refresh it, refine it and redefine our work life.

We should be doing the same with our personal life as well, create a Life Resume, listing our accomplishments and our goals, defining ourselves in short and concise statements, leaving out all the fluff.  What would your personal Life Resume look like? Would it include lots of personal development or social activities or would it be more traditional education and institutional? Would your Life resume include diverse hobbies or more mundane tasks?

Our life is an ever-changing series of events, we are not the same person today as we were yesterday, our life experiences shape us, change us and help us to grow. By sitting down and creating a Life resume, we will see the changes, see the growth, by organizing our life in to sections, categories, we will learn how we define ourselves.

Life Resume Outline:

Profile:

This heading would include your description of yourself, weight, sex, age, birth date and other vital statistics. Use this section as a starting point, include the current date.

Professional Experience:

In this section include all your work experiences, from paperboy to CEO. List your accomplishments and responsibilities. Include your starting age and ending age.

Life Experience:

In this section include life events, Baptism, Conformation Graduation from High School, Wedding, birth of Children etc.… Any milestone event in your life.

Education:

This section should include only formal education, completed or not completed. Indicate your age at time of completion or age when you took courses

Personal Development:

This section would include seminars, Continuing education courses or just for the fun of it courses offered at your local community centers. Indicate your age at the time of taking

Hobbies:

Include all hobbies from past to present, indicate your age of start and end From stamp collecting to master crafts maker.

Goals:

This section should include all your goals, from a young person up till now. Indicate your age at the time of the goal. Include everything from wanting to be a cowboy to taking over the world.

Achievements:

This section should list all your life achievements, from winning the spelling bee to closing that major deal. Include your age at the time of the achievement.

Completion of the Life resume may take you some time, and in truth, you are never finished with your Life Resume, it is a living breathing document. But the first “draft” should include as much past history as possible. Why include events that have already gone by, to show you how much you have already accomplished. We have done more than we often times give ourselves credit for, Why include your age, to show a progression of thoughts and growth. For example, if I stated that in 1976 I wanted to be a cowboy, I would have to do the math to figure out how old I was and in truth, it seems to far in the past, but stating that when I was 10 I wanted to be a cowboy, the year does not matter, but the age places my goal in the right context. I can clearly see a growth for Cowboy at 10 to owning my own company at 20. Simple is better, the less math I have to do, the better.

Creating and maintaining your Life Resume will help you bring clarity to your life, showing you how you have grown and evolved, and were you may be stuck. You will start to see patterns develop in your life and you will learn to appreciate and celebrate the little life achievements as much as you do the big life achievements.

Make a point to review your Life resume at least once a month, and when you edit it, include the date of edit, create a history of your Life Resume. Never remove information, only add, if information was incorrect, correct it, but leave the incorrect information intact, use Microsoft editing tools, to use the cross-out tool to remove the unwanted information, (example)

Goal: I want to be a cowboy Spy, age 10

Why keep the old or incorrect information, to show your progression, your thought process. As we continue to edit our Life Resume, we will begin to remember facts. As we begin to remember Life facts, we will start to gain a more clear picture of our past, as our past becomes more clear, we may need to correct our facts. And understanding our past, gaining a clearer picture of our past will help us define our future.

Good luck with this project, and I will post mine on this site and on the Guided Insight Life Coach website soon. You may want to consider using a Life Coach to help you create and define your Life Resume, they can help you add clarity to your visions and goals.

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

 

Words and Power

Benjamin Franklin (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Words are powerful things; they have the power to change history, to create revolution and to mend broken hearts. I was reminded of this fact this morning when I gave the following quote to a friend:

There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one’s self.

– Benjamin Franklin

The quote is a tab bit hard to understand unless you take the time to see the words as they are. When I first read it, I read it as only two things, stealing a diamond and knowing thy self. I missed the nuance of the punctuation, and of course my mind replace steal for steel. This friend also did the same, but in order to “fix” the problem they wanted to rewrite the quote, or better yet, reorder the words. They wanted

There are three things extremely hard: a diamond, steel, and to know one’s self.

Yes, it makes the reading a bit easier on us, but it is not what Mr. Franklin said, and not how he wanted it stated. For anyone who knows Ben knows that he loved the English language and was a master at it. I do not know for sure, but I would venture to guess that he placed the words exactly as he did for a very specific purpose. Regardless, his words should be represented as he stated them. Words are very powerful indeed, and rearranging them or substituting them can and often does cause issues.

Misunderstandings are often the result of misplaced or missed used words. The Founding Fathers understood this, and knew the power of the written word, the permanence of them and the importance of each word. The Catholic Church is known to spend years debating the simplest of words, knowing that a simple, yet very important distinction are between using one word over another. Nuances in communication is extremely important, politicians know this, this is why they hire speech writers and practice there talking points, a simple slip-up can cause them to lose the election. We often call the gaffes, but what they really are, are moments of truth.

Words, spoken or written have the power to shape our destinies or destroy our past. Historians understand this, they understand how they can write about our Founders, telling the truth, yet leading you to a conclusion that is anything but the truth. The omission of words alters the facts, but leaves behind the basic truth.

We recently saw this in the Trayvon Martian case. The news media played the tape, the call from George Zimmerman, but by omitting one seeming simple line of conversation, the narrative changed. Words have the power to unite or to divide.

It seems to me, that we have lost the art of words; we have simplified them, dumb them down and turned them into meaningless letters. For example, take the word “Fair”, we hear it almost daily, “Fair share” “Fair Play”, as is “All Americans deserve a fair share of the American Dream”. I agree, but I would venture to guess that my understanding of Fair is not the majorities understanding. Most would think of fair as equal, as in, if one person has the dream, to be fair about it, all should have the dream. Not so, fair does not mean equal.

free from bias, dishonesty, or injustice: a fair decision; a fair judge. (Source)

To be fair only means to offer the same,

as great as; the same as (often followed by to or with ): The velocity of sound is not equal to that of light. (Source)

Take your time, read the definitions and you will notice the nuance, the words have meaning…

We need to return to the day when words had meanings, when the power of words were understood and respected. How did we get to this point, I am not sure, I have my own theories, but they are just that, mine. I would place the blame on the dummying down of America, instead of keeping our standards high and expecting people to reach for them, we have lowered the standards, all in the name of fairness, so all can reach them. Our newspapers use to be written at the 9th grade level, now many are written at the 5th grade level, our leaders use to be statesmen, speaking and writing as such, but now they strive to be everydaymen. Our schools use to expect excellence but now promote fairness, is hopes of being inclusive and accepting of all, to offer a fair chance for all to excel, yet most will not.

Our Founders understood something we have seem to have forgotten, they understood that we all deserve a fair chance at success, but we all will not achieve it. They understood that my success is not your success that each person is unique, that success is individual, not communal that fairness does not equate to equal, and that the guarantee of The Pursuit of Happiness is not the same as the guarantee of happiness. Our Founders understood the power of words, and based on them a new nation was born, a revolution declared and lives placed in the balance to defend them.

The United States was and is a Nation based on words, based on the nuances of the words and many a brave man and woman have spilled their blood upon the ground in defense of those words.

So is it really a big deal if someone reorders or replaces a word, to simplify the words, to bring them down to make them more “accessible”, Yes, I think so, I think words have meaning, have power and purpose, and to lower them, to bring them down, even in the name of understanding, is wrong. Instead, we should be striving to raise ourselves up, to strive to understand and to learn. Our Founding Fathers, many of them self-educated, saw the power in them, understood the need for them and knew that this new nation would rise up to them, and defend them or die. Patrick Henry understood:

It is in vain, sir, to extenuate the matter. Gentlemen may cry, Peace, Peace– but there is no peace. The war is actually begun! The next gale that sweeps from the north will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms! Our brethren are already in the field! Why stand we here idle? What is it that gentlemen wish? What would they have? Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death! (Source)

Words have meaning… Words have power… Make your word count…

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

Related articles

• Lazy Words (fakeplasticsouks.blogspot.com)
• 14 Lessons From Benjamin Franklin About Getting What You Want In Life (acordocoletivo.org)
• Benjamin Franklin- Continual Inspiration (the-senior-citizen-times.com)
• Original Draft: The Declaration of Independence (Jefferson abolished slavery) (libertarianreview.us)
• 14 Lessons From Benjamin Franklin About Getting What You Want In Life (businessinsider.com)
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