Road to Redemption: How to Overcome Feeling Sorry for Yourself

Feeling sorry for yourself, and you present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have.

-Dale Carnegie

What can we do about this, how can we change our own outlook on our own life? How do we stop feeling sorry for ourselves, stopping the self-pity and self loathing?  What can we do to save ourselves from ourselves?

Some points to consider:

• Only you can make you feel bad
• Only you are in control of you
• Only you can fix you
• Only you can do it

We are in control of our own lives, this is a basic and true fact, nothing can change this basic fact. However, being human, being of a fallen nature, we are prone to failure, we are prone to self-doubt we are prone to self-destruction. So how do we change this, how do we get past our fallen human nature? What can we do to become a better person, a person of confidence a person of integrity and person of character?

We can teach ourselves to over come our fallen nature, we can grow above and beyond that, it is achievable, it is with-in our grasps, all we need to do is trust, trust in God, trust that He will provides the graces we need to archive our perfection.

Trust in God does not mean we sit back and do nothing, quit the contrary, trust in God means we buckle down, place our nose to the grind stone, work our fingers to the bones, what ever cleaver little saying you choose. Trust is God is not the easy road, but it is the road less traveled. It is the road to perfection and happiness, it is the road to freedom and salvation, it is the only road to our own personal redemption.

God is our ticket to liberation, liberation from self-doubt, liberation from self-hatred, the two self-defeating attitudes that create the conditions necessary for self-loathing and just plain old feeling sorry for yourself. God and His graces, His love for you and all your imperfections, our ability to accept His love, to use His graces, that’s the way to freedom, the road to liberation.

Sounds easy, who would not want Gods love, who does not want the graces God bestows upon us? Ask almost anyone, and they would tell you, Yep, I want Gods love, I want His grace, not many would out-and-out refuse it. Some do, but most would be more than happy to accept the freely given gifts. So why that do we have so much pain and suffering, why do we have so many people who are full of self-pity and self-hatred?

Because the gifts and love are given freely, but we must be open to and willing to accept them, and simply saying yes, simply using words, dead words, is not enough. Action is required, God wants us to fully participate in His divine plan for ourselves, He wants us to be active, not just a vessel to poor His love and graces into, but an active participant in His love and grace.

What good are gifts, given freely, if we do not use them, what good is love, given unconditionally, if we do not accept it? A gift is only as useful as it is used, otherwise the gift is of no value. We can receive Gods love all daylong, but if we do not open ourselves to this love, if we do not partake in this love, the love is of no value to us. Yes God continues to love us, regardless of our acceptance or not, but the love goes unused, it is not returned nor is it give to others. The love of God is not meant to be buried like a secret love, but to be received and displayed for all to see, and to be given to others as freely as it was given to us.

The act of receiving is not a passive act, it is an act that requires us to participate fully. Consider this, have you ever given a gift to a friend or loved one, a gift that you gave out of no obligation, no requirement, no special occasion. You gave the gift just out of love, given freely, expecting nothing in return. But the recipient was not receptive to your gift, they may have accepted it, they may have even opened it, but they were not receptive. They showed no sign of joy in the act of love, they showed no sign of rejection, they just accepted it. We, the gift bearer, leave feeling rejected, feel that our love was neither accepted nor outright rejected. We think to ourselves, I would rather have them say I reject your gift, I do not want it, than to just accept it with no emotion at all. The act of receiving is active, it requires work on the part of the receiver. It is the same with Gods gifts to us, He freely offers His gifts, He will not force them upon us, we must freely accept them, and just saying yes is like the friend that opened the gift you offered with no emotion, no reaction, just nothingness. The gift, although given was not truly accepted, it was discarded, not with words, but the lack of action.

So what actions, what is required of us, nothing, we are not required to accept Gods graces nor Gods love, just like we are not required to accept gifts on our birthday or at Christmas. We can choose freely to participate in Gods love, just as we choose freely to accept Christmas gifts and attend birthday parties. But once we choose to attend, action is required, input and output are part of the interaction of any social gathering, so is the case with God, He provides the input, and we provide the output. He gives us, freely, His love, the input, and we actively, through our works, provide the output. Notice, God gives freely, and we work actively, it is through the active works we perfect the graces and love of God is fully realized.

So how can God help us get over our self-hate, our feeling sorry for ourselves. What must we do to actively participate in Gods graces and love given freely. How do we perform the work to  fully realize the gifts God has given. For each of us God has given the gifts that we need, the gifts that are unique to us, so for each of us the works are also unique, but here is a list of a few things all of us can do to help us realize the full potential of our gifts.

• Pray daily, offer up 30 to 60 minuets per day to God, talk to Him, but more importantly, listen, be still, be quiet, and listen to the loving voice of God. And do not worry if you don’t hear Him  the first time or every time you pray, like everything else in our lives, it take practice. So just pray, daily and know and accept that some days will be better than others.
• Read daily, anyone who has read my blog before knew that this would be one of the point, it almost always is. But reading is important, reading opens our minds to new possibilities. Read the bible, read a good solid spiritual book or read a novel, just read and let your mind go, let your mind enter into the story or passage. Let the author take you along for the ride. Read at least 15 minutes per day. God often times speaks to me through the books I choose to read that day, the passage I decide to look up or the magazine I choose out of the stack on my coffee table. God uses the everyday items about us to communicate to us, God comes to the place we are, He does not wait for us to arrive at the place He desires us to be.
• Journal daily, write about your day, write about what you see about you, write about your prayer life, write about what ever you choose to write about. This blog is my journal, it allows me the opportunity to clear my mind, to put down on paper (well in this case, electronic paper) what is on my mind, allows me the opportunity to clear it, to visualize it. God uses these opportunities to speak to us, often times I just sit to write, no idea what I want to write about, just feel the need to clear my mind. It is in these moments that I feel God guiding me more that any other. So journal daily, allow the Holy Spirit to guide your hand across the paper, or in my case the keyboard. Use your time journaling as a time of communion with God.
• Learn daily, learn about your faith, learn about your life, learn about your country learn about wine or basket weaving, just learn, never stop learning. God created our minds to grow, to learn to expand. In the process of learning, we are using one of Gods greatest gifts to us, the gift of knowledge. So learn something new daily, try something new daily. I try to make it a point to learn something new daily, be it a simple fact or a complex idea. Learning about this world, our self, our nation or about basket weaving is learning about God, for through the ordinary we find God.
• Think one positive thought daily, when you are in the mist of a bad day, stop yourself, and think about one positive event that took place that day. There is always one, no day is completely bad. Even Good Friday, the day our Lord was killed upon a cross had a positive moment, the moment He offered His life for our sins. So stop and think, seek out the shinning spot among the darkness of your day. It is in the moment, that spot that God will be found.
• Thank someone daily, always give thanks to all around you, but find someone who needs your thanks more than any other, we find God in our fellow-man, and they find God in us, give freely of your Gift of love from God, by returning to others.

Our works do not purchase Gods love nor are the required, God gives it freely, but our works bring the fullness of Gods love to light. Through Gods love we will learn to love the self, and only through our works will we fully realize that self-love.

 

God Bless

 

Paul W Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

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The 4 Points of Leadership

Bearing compass (18th century). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The 4 Points of Leadership, like a compass, we need to make sure our leadership skills, our life skills are inline with the 4 main points on our internal compass. The goal of any leader, be they corporate leaders, group leaders or mom and dads, direction and clarity are important. The 4 Points of Leadership will help you set your compass to true north and help you to set your course to a leadership style of clarity and direction.

 

Point One: Environment

Be careful the environment you choose for it will shape you; be careful the friends you choose for you will become like them.
W. Clement Stone

The people and things we choose to surround ourselves with define us, they shape us and inform the world who and what we are. As my mother use to so, you are who you hang with, we choose to associate with like minded people, to frequent places filled with the atmosphere we thrive in. We do not often exit our comfort zone nor do we often drastically change our environment, we are creatures of habit and seek out comfort and security.

To set our compass to True North, to Clarity and Direction, we need to create an environment that is healthy and uplifting, we need to choose friends and associates that will help define us as productive and positive influences on our society.  Our Direction needs to be one of upward movement, one set with the goal of creating a better world that we entered into. This includes \more that just donating to the local soup kitchen, it includes our actions and words as well. The simple act of teaching our children to say please and thank you, or to open the door for an elderly person. Respect and charity go hand in hand, and are all part of the environment we create.

Point two:  Action

We have too many high sounding words, and too few actions that correspond with them.

Abigail Adams (1744 – 1818), letter to John Adams, 1774

Actions speak louder than words, we all have heard this saying, most likely from our Mothers, and once again, our mothers were right. Actions do speak loader than words, in-fact actions define our words. It is easy to say “I will” or “Yes” or even “I love you” but if our actions do not back up the words, the words become hollow and meaningless. Yet, if we just do it, with out the words, the action stands on its own, becomes the truth with in the words not spoken. Actions are our currency, it is with actions that we gain trust and respect. And like money, we must learn when to spend our actions and on what. Well spent actions will provide us with respect and trust, where as miss spent actions or lack of action will deplete our account and render us morally bankrupt in the eyes of our creditors, our friends and family.

To set our compass to True North, to Clarity and Direction, we need to learn the value of actions, to see the outcome and consequences of our actions on ourselves and those who surround us. We need to learn that our words must be followed by our actions, and that our actions can and do define our moral character. We are what we do or don’t do. Our inaction is as important as our actions.

 

Point three: Laugh

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It’s jolted by every pebble on the road.
~Henry Ward Beecher

Nothing in this world is beyond a laugh. We cannot take life or ourselves to seriously. Life is to short not to smile to enjoy and to laugh. Learn to relax and go with the flow, and you will learn that life is not all that bad. We all have run into that one person who seems to have the personality of a arm pit hair, they find no joy in any aspect of life, and fine no humor in this world. They see the world as a cold humorless place, a place that needs to be pitied not laughed at.

Before you condemn them, stop and look at yourself, are there times, moments or days that you too feel this old world is just in to sad a shape to laugh to enjoy and experience. We all could use a little more laughter in our lives, we all can light up a bit more and learn to make this world a little more bearable.

To set our compass to True North, to Clarity and Direction, we need to learn to find the silly in life’s stressful moments. We need to learn to laugh at the ridiculous and find the humor in the outrageous. We need to teach our children not to be offended so easily and to find the funny in the sometimes not so funny world. The world can be, and often is a cruel place, God has given us the grace of humor, it is up to us to use this gift to help make this world a better place, for ourselves and the next generation of leaders.

Point Four: God

God gives every bird its food, but He does not throw it into its nest.

~J. G. Holland

Our being depends on only one Being,God, believe in Him or not does not change the simple fact that God is there and God is the Creator. God provides all that we need, but we must achieve it ourselves. We have faith in the outcome, but the work must come from within. We are not capable of achieving greatness without the graces of God flowing through us and within us. We must learn to respect and harness the graces God has provided for us, each to our needs, not our desires. God knows all our wants and provides for all our needs. Our wants and needs may not be the same, we may not understand the differences, but God does.

To set our compass True North, to Clarity and Direction we need to learn that God exist, truly exist and provides for our well being, but allows us to partake in the process, allows us to journey alongside the Creator. Our actions, words and desires need to be all for one purpose, glorifying God and praising Him for the graces He has bestowed upon us. Once again, believe in God or not, does not change the fact the God believes in you.

In Conclusion

The 4 Points of Leadership can and should be thought of as the 4 Points of Life, a life lived well. Each person is a leader, a leader of there life, there family there destiny. We choose the path we wonder, we set our compasses on the prize we seek and we gather around us the ones whom we esteem and hold dear to ourselves. God allows us the freedom, grants us the freewill to choose the path we walk, always offering us the graces we need to walk the path with Clarity and a sense off Direction. It is our decision to take up His offer to to choose to walk the path alone. Leadership is not about going it alone, not about forging a new path or even about making a name for yourself, Leadership is about understanding, understanding self, others and your place in the universe, it is about understanding your roll in Gods plan, not Gods roll in your plans.

 

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach 

 

 

 

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My Detroit

Augustus Woodward’s plan following the 1805 fire for Detroit’s baroque styled radial avenues and Grand Circus. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’m a Detroiter, I was born in the city, and I love the city. I no longer live in Detroit, I now live about 30 minutes outside of the city, but still consider myself a Detroiter. It pains me to hear negative news stories of Detroit, but it seems that’s all we ever hear. Murder, Rape, miss use of Government powers, Kids killing Kids, Drugs and other horrid actions. It saddens me when I do venture to the City to see all the majestic buildings and homes is shambles to see the empty lots filled with trash and the parks and streets empty of life.

Detroit is a shell of its former self, many do not know the true Detroit, they only know the current Detroit. The one that is on a path to self destruction, the one that fills the national news with murder and deception. Detroit is more than that, Detroit has 300 years of history, of pride and accomplishments. No, not just Cars and Motown, but Art and Architecture, Culture and Innovation. Detroit is a city of many first, The first expressway, phone book and more. Detroit is not what you think she is, she is a diamond in the ruff.

Detroit…

• is home to the Motown sound founded by Berry Gordy Jr. in 1957

• is home to the first Van Gogh painting in a public collection in the U.S. at the Detroit Institute of Arts, "Self Portrait," Vincent Van Gogh, 1887

• installed the first mile of paved concrete road, just north of the Model T plant, on Woodward Avenue between McNichols and 7 Mile Roads in 1909

• built the nation’s first urban freeway, the Davison, in 1942

• is home to the oldest state fair in the nation — the Michigan State Fair, first held in 1849

• is the potato chip capital of the world, based on consumption

• has country’s largest island park within a city — Belle Isle Park

• is home to the world’s only floating post office, the J.W. Westcott II, can be found on the Detroit River

• is north of Canada

• is second in the nation in fishing rod sales

• shares the world’s first auto traffic tunnel between two nations – the Detroit/Windsor Tunnel

• is home to the tallest hotel in the Western Hemisphere – the Detroit Marriott Renaissance Center, at 727 feet/73 stories

• the nation’s first soda — Vernors — created in Detroit by pharmacist James Vernor in 1862. Detroit is also home to Sanders hot fudge, Better Made Potato Chips, Faygo soda pop, Stroh’s Ice Cream

• has the most registered bowlers in the United States

• was the first city in the nation to assign individual telephone numbers in 1879

History of Detroit

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Ste. Anne de Détroit, founded in 1701 is the second oldest continuously operating Roman Catholic parish in the United States. The present Gothic Revival cathedral styled church was completed in 1887 and serves a largely Hispanic community.^[1][2]

The city of Detroit, Michigan, developed from a French fort and missionary outpost founded in 1701 to one of the largest American cities by the early 20th century. As reflected by the emblems on its flag, Detroit has been governed by three world powers: France, Great Britain, and the United States. The city, settled in 1701, is one of the oldest cities in the Midwest. Detroit experienced a large scale fire in 1805 which nearly destroyed the city. After the fire, Justice Augustus B. Woodward devised a plan similar to Pierre Charles L’Enfant‘s design for Washington, D.C. Detroit‘s monumental avenues and traffic circles fan out in a baroque styled radial fashion from Grand Circus Park in the heart of the city’s theater district, which facilitates traffic patterns along the city’s tree-lined boulevards and parks.^[3] Main thoroughfares radiate outward from the city center like spokes in a wheel.

During the 19th century, Detroit grew into a thriving hub of commerce and industry, the city spread along Jefferson Avenue, with multiple manufacturing firms taking advantage of the transportation resources afforded by the river and a parallel rail line. Beginning in the late 19th and early 20th century, many of the city’s Gilded Age mansions and buildings arose. Detroit was referred to as the Paris of the West for its architecture, and for Washington Boulevard, recently electrified by Thomas Edison.^[1]

Following World War II, the Detroit area emerged as a global business center with the metropolitan area becoming one of the largest in the United States. The Detroit area is the second largest U.S. metropolitan area linking the Great Lakes system. Immigrants and migrants have contributed significantly to Detroit’s economy and culture. In the 1990s and the new millennium, the city has experienced increased revitalization. Many areas of the city are listed in the National Register of Historic Places and include National Historic Landmarks.

Beginnings

The first recorded mention of what became Detroit was in 1670, when the French Sulpician missionaries François Dollier de Casson and René Bréhant de Galinée stopped at the site on their way to the mission at Sault Ste. Marie.^[4] Galínee’s journal notes that near the site of present-day Detroit, they found a stone idol venerated by the Indians and destroyed the idol with an axe and dropped the pieces into the river. Early French settlers planted twelve missionary pear trees "named for the twelve Apostles" on the grounds of what is now Waterworks Park.^[5]

Statue of French officer Antoine de la Mothe Cadillac commemorating his 1701 landing along the Detroit River.

Siege of Fort Detroit during Pontiac’s Rebellion in 1763.

The British surrender, following the American Siege of Detroit during the War of 1812.

The city name comes from the Detroit River (French: le détroit du Lac Érie), meaning the strait of Lake Erie, linking Lake Huron and Lake Erie; in the historical context, the strait included Lake St. Clair and the St. Clair River.^[6] Traveling up the Detroit River on the ship Le Griffon (owned by La Salle), Father Louis Hennepin noted the north bank of the river as an ideal location for a settlement. There, in 1701, the French officer Antoine de la Mothe Cadillac, along with fifty-one additional French-Canadians, founded a settlement called Fort Ponchartrain du Détroit, naming it after the comte de Pontchartrain, Minister of Marine under Louis XIV. Ste. Anne de Détroit, founded July 26, 1701, is the second oldest continuously operating Roman Catholic parish in the United States and the church was the first building erected at Fort Ponchartrain du Détroit.^[1][2][7][8]

France offered free land to attract families to Detroit, which grew to 800 people in 1765, the largest city between Montreal and New Orleans.^[9] Francois Marie Picoté, sieur de Belestre (Montreal 1719–1793) was the last French military commander at Fort Detroit (1758–1760), surrendering the fort on November 29, 1760 to British Major Robert Rogers (of Rogers’ Rangers fame and sponsor of the Jonathan Carver expedition to St. Anthony Falls). The British gained control of the area in 1760 and were thwarted by an Indian attack three years later during Pontiac’s Rebellion. The region’s fur trade was an important economic activity. Detroit’s city flag reflects this French heritage. (See Flag of Detroit).^[1]

The City of Detroit (from Canada Shore), 1872, by A. C. Warren

During the French and Indian War (1760), British troops gained control and shortened the name to Detroit. Several tribes led by Chief Pontiac, an Ottawa leader, launched Pontiac’s Rebellion (1763), including a siege of Fort Detroit. Partially in response to this, the British Royal Proclamation of 1763 included restrictions on white settlement in unceded Indian territories. Detroit passed to the United States under the Jay Treaty (1796). In 1805, fire destroyed most of the settlement. A river warehouse and brick chimneys of the wooden homes were the sole structures to survive.^[10]

Father Gabriel Richard arrived at Ste. Anne’s in 1796. While the local priest, he helped start the school which evolved into the University of Michigan, started primary schools for white boys and girls as well as for Indians, as a territorial representative to U.S. Congress helped establish a road-building project that connected Detroit and Chicago, and brought the first printing press to Michigan which printed the first Michigan newspaper. After his death in 1832, Richard was interred under the altar of Ste. Anne’s.^[1][2]

Detroit was the goal of various American campaigns during the American Revolution, but logistical difficulties in the North American frontier and American Indian allies of Great Britain would keep any armed rebel force from reaching the Detroit area. In the Treaty of Paris (1783), Great Britain ceded territory that included Detroit to the newly recognized United States, though in reality it remained under British control. Great Britain continued to trade with and defend her native allies in the area, and supplied local nations with weapons to harass American settlers and soldiers.

In 1794, a Native American alliance, that had received some support and encouragement from the British, was decisively defeated by General Anthony Wayne at the Battle of Fallen Timbers. Wayne negotiated the Treaty of Greenville (1795) with many of these nations, in which tribes ceded the area of Fort Detroit to the United States. Detroit passed to the United States under the Jay Treaty (1796). Great Britain agreed to evacuate forts held in the United States’ Northwest Territory. In 1805, a fire destroyed most of the settlement. A river warehouse and brick chimneys of the wooden homes were the sole remains of the structures.^[10] Detroit’s motto and seal (as on the Flag) reflect this fire.

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

 

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Finding Ourselves in our Past

Albert Einstein Français : portrait d’Albert Einstein (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving.

~Albert Einstein

How often do you think about who has come before you? How often do you look to the past to understand the now, to understand the self? Mr. Einstein, once again, has hit the nail on the head. Our now, who we are, has a direct connection to that which comes before us. Our human understanding of self comes to us from our ancestors. We owe gratitude to human history, to human expression and our basic curiosity about our own existence.

All too often, we look for the new and exciting ways to discover self, to change and we give praise only to ourselves and to the “new gurus” of today. Yet, we fail to give credit to the past, to those who came before.

If Einstein can humble himself to acknowledge that others, those who came before him, have laid down the groundwork for whom and what he is, surly we can do the same. However, the idea of become Renaissance men is gaining an understanding of the great men and woman who have come before. We read the classics, study the great ones that have come before us and expand our horizons beyond ourselves to include the great men and woman of history.

Through the trials and tribulations of history, we discover the ebb and flow of life. It is within the historical ebb and flow that we will discover the secret of discovering self. There is nothing new under the sun; all that we need to understand about our humanity is in our past. Yes, we have lots to learn about the science of the human body, but there is nothing new to learn about the human condition. Plato, Cicero, Buda along with Confucius and Jesus Christ have given us the road map to perfection, and the great men and woman of the past studied and emulated the great sages of antiquity.

We have much to learn about respecting our past, and growing our future. Nevertheless, we are capable, and we have the tools we need. Most, if not all, of what we need is free and available on the internet. We can go to our local art museums and historical museums to visualize the human condition or attend the local Orchestra concert to hear our collective human heart beat. We are never more than a few miles or few clicks away from the classics, unlike any other time in history, we, in this day and age, have the ability to read, watch and listen to the voice of history. The digital age offers us total access to online studies of the classics.

We need to establish clubs and organizations for adults and youth that delve into the classics that teach the lessons of Plato and Jesus, we need to experience, as a group and individuals, the masters such as Leonardo and Dante. We need to reconnect to our past, not through the filtered message of political views, but as unfiltered historical documents of humanity.

The human condition is defined in our art, literature and wars. How we treat others and care for the less fortunate among us. Our art is our soul and our literature our heart, it is time we reconnected to them.

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

 

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Holy Week: A Lenten Reflection

Jesus and Mary Magdalene (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This week is the summit of Christendom, it is the week that establishes our missions and our purpose. It is the week the God sacrificed His Son for our sake. This week we experience the Passion of our Lord, the scourging, the ridicule the lies and the humiliation. This week we are taken to the hill, we partake in the nailing of our Lord upon the cross, we share in the agony of Mary and John and we are party to the mocking. We cannot remove ourselves from the Passion, because the Passion is eternal. Christ died for our sins, our sins of today and of tomorrow. The Passion unfolds daily, when we sin, the hammer falls upon the nail that pierces our Blessed Lords skin with each utterance of disparity and sin. Our actions today, our inequity of our humanity places the crown of thorns upon His blessed head and our lies are the spit upon His most Holy face. We are the cross that we nail Him to, we are the sins that He died for, we are the bystanders that mock and call to Him, “Come down from the cross, and save yourself”. We are the reason for His passion.

We are also the reason for His Resurrection, we are the stone that covered His tomb, but we are also the stone that was moved away. We are Mary Magdalene, when she peered into the empty tomb and saw that our Lord was “taken away”. We cried the tears of loss and desperation as she did, in the frantic search for our Lord. We are Mary in the garden when she hears the word “Why do you cry” and we are Mary when she discovers that our Lord is not dead, but risen. We are the paradox that is humanity, we are the saints and sinners we are the crucifiers and the crucified, we are one with the Lord.

We carry our cross daily to the hill, we nail our own hands to the cross with our actions and we carry our own passion in remembrance our Lord.  Holy week  offers us the opportunity to experience the Passion, Death and Resurrection of our Lord in a very personal way. Through the Holy Mass and reflection upon our lives, we can and do die unto ourselves and resurrect anew with the Lord. Easter is a time of renewal, a time of death giving over to life, we see it in the earth with the birth of spring, and we experience it the Mass with the Holy Sacrifice of Communion. Catholicism offers the opportunity to truly walk with Christ on the road to Calvary, to partake in the Passion in a real sense and experience the resurrection in our lives. Allow this Easter session to truly awaken in you the Passion of our Lord, allow your feelings to flow as if from the wounds of our Lord and allow your heart to feel the last earthly movement and your soul to experience the Resurrection, not as a bystander, but as a participant. Join your suffering with our Lords, and allow the healing grace of the Passion to wash over you, to engulf you and renew you.

God Bless & have a Blessed Holy Week, one filled with many deaths and resurrections

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

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Frustration, and dealing with it

frustration

Definition

frus·tra·tion

NOUN

1. dissatisfaction: a feeling of disappointment, exasperation, or weariness caused by goals being thwarted or desires unsatisfied

2. frustrating of somebody or something: an act or instance of causing somebody or something to be dissatisfied or unfulfilled

3. something that thwarts: something that blocks, thwarts, and upsets somebody all at the same time

“His lack of ambition was a frustration to his father.”

The feeling of frustration has come upon me, and has decided to stay for bit. This feeling has sat around for the past few weeks, not wanting to go anyplace at all. It it happy just sitting upon me and making me deal with it, and I , for one, am not to happy about it. In fact, its frustrating!

Trying to deal with work, defined as a place you go to daily, bang your head on the wall and return home. At least that has been the norm as of late. Dealing with the customer can be frustrating enough, but when your own company is placing road blocks in your way as well, well that just tips it over the top. Has hard as I try, it is hard to not take it home with me, causing me to be exhausted when I get home, and that hurts my personal life. I have not had the energy to workout, do the house work that needs to be done and as of late, even reading is a takes to me, not an enjoyment. That’s when I know it’s getting to me, reading is what I do, who I am, and when that takes a back seat, that’s when I know I need to do something. But what? What can I do about it? Were do I even start?

Here is my action plan, and a plan that you can use to help fight your frustrations

1. Keep the Body active: exercise daily for at least 30 minutes. Walk the dog, go to the gym, ride a bike. Just do something, even when you just don’t feel like it, in fact that when you should do it, when you don’t feel like it, because that’s when you need it the most.
2. Keep the Body healthy: eat right, if your like me, junk food fills the void, I tend to eat candy when I am frustrated, and this is a bad thing for several reason, the weight gain, the sugar buzz, and the over all feeling yucky after the binge. Avoid the bad and seek out the good. But do not deprive yourself the craving, eat one candy bar, not 20. Give your body what it craves, to satisfy it, try to find an alternative to the candy bar, see if an apple dipped in honey will work, or peanut butter and celery will satisfy.
3. Keep the Soul healthy: Attend Church, meditate, commune with God, do something that will keep your soul active. Like any other part of you, you must exercise your soul, keep it active. So find activities that builds up your soul. The soul is a part of your well-being, a healthy and active soul is directly related to a healthy and active you.
4. Keep the Mind active: Read, do cross words, go to an art museum, do something, anything, daily, to activate your mind, to fire a few new neurons make a few new connections and build a new memory. Spending 15 minutes each day reading and reflecting is a prescription for a healthy and active mind. We are made to learn to grow and to experience life with all our senses. Learn to stretch yourself, reach outside of your comfort zone and exercise your mind. If you normally read romance novels, pick up a historical novel or if you read only religious books, try a political book, force your mind to rethink its thinking. Its good exercise and a practice that will make you a more rounded individual. We have lost the “Renaissance Man” and its time to get him back.
5. Keep your heart active: I’m not talking about working out again, that’s point number 1, nope this time I am talking about the poetic heart. Find something to love, a passion, be it a person, a pet or a cause, find your passion and pursue it. Now I’m not talking about stalking the girl down the block, I’m talking about passion. We are all created to be connected with others, be it in a social or personal manner. We need others to feel content, so we seek them out. Some find them at church or by joining clubs or volunteering at the local soup kitchen. Some find contentment in their children others in their spouse or significant others. Were ever it is, put your passion into it, reconnect to that passion, or discover new passions and pursue it with gusto, give it all you got.

The above 5 activates are activities we should be doing regardless of our frustration level. but it’s often helpful to be reminded of them when we are frustrated. I know that for me, just the act of writing tem has reminded me that I need to work on all five activities, that I have allowed them to sit in the back ground, but now I need to bring them to the forefront and concentrate on them and actively pursue them. The activities should not be grouped together, reading why you workout does not count as two activities. Don’t try to short change yourself, each activity must be given your full and undivided attention. It’s like buying a TV DVD combo, sure you save a little space, and maybe even a little money, but if the TV breaks, now your out both a DVD player and a TV. Separate is better…

Something to ponder….

Ecclesiastes 7:2-4 (NIV)

² It is better to go to a house of mourning
than to go to a house of feasting,
for death is the destiny of everyone;
the living should take this to heart.
³ Frustration is better than laughter,
because a sad face is good for the heart.
⁴ The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning,
but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure.

“A sad face is good for the heart” hmmm, not sure about that, but I know that sometimes a little rain on one’s life must fall, and frustration is just that, a little rain. The sun will come out again, and if I took care of myself during the time of frustration, than when the sun comes, I will be wiser and healthier that before the rain fell upon my life.

God Bless & Happy Lent

Guided Insight Life Coach

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Into your Arms, A Lenten Reflection

Today many people try to make Jesus out to be this hippy type of person who spoke softly and walked around with a smile on his face and a daisy in his hands. You know they type, the “Jesus Loves You” type. Sure, yes I know that Jesus loves me and I know that Jesus was a kind person, and spoke with compassion. But I also know Jesus overturned the tables in the Temple, I also know he told Peter to get behind him because he was acting like satin and He told the young rich man to go away because he was unable to give up what he had to follow Jesus. So Jesus didn’t always have a smile on His face and he didn’t always carry a daisy in his hands. Sometimes Jesus was upset, sometimes he was happy and at other times, he was passionate.

We often fail to remember that Jesus was fully human, not just partly, not only on some days at certain times, but 100% human 100% of the time. His humanity is important, it is because of his humanity that Calvary has any meaning at all. If Jesus was not 100% human, than offering up his life would have no meaning at all, for how miraculous would it be for a God to offer up His life, but for a man, a human, this is something. Jesus had to be human to take on humanity’s sins; sure, God could have just taken away our sins with a wave of his hands, but what good is in that? The act would have been forced upon us; we would have had no choice in it. That is not love, that is not freedom that is dictatorship that is forced compliance. God is not about force, God is about Choice. Freewill is what God offers us; we are free to say yes or to say no. This is our great Fiat, our chance to say YES to the Lord, Yes to God and to the Holy Spirit. God wants us, but he does not want to force us, he wants us to walk into his open arms under our own freewill.

Gods greatest gift you and me is the gift of freewill, our ability to say yes, to offer up that great Amen, or to say no, to resist the love of our Lord. This gift is the gift of love, the gift of true freedom. It is a gift the challenges our ego daily. Our fallen nature condemns us to our ego, for it was the ego that committed the first sin, the sin of pride. Our first parents, Adam and Eve wanted to be like God, their pride covered their eyes and they could not see that they already were with God, walking in the garden, they already had God with in them, but pride overshadowed this, covered it with vanity and covetousness , and the gift of freewill proved to be our downfall and not our salvation. The freedom to accept God or to reject God is the ultimate gift God gave us. Adam and Eve rejected that gift in the moment they ate the fruit of the Tree. It would not be until Jesus was sacrificed upon a Tree that Humanity would once again be united with God.

Jesus, being both Human and Devine, offers us His life, took upon himself our sins and gave us his Mother, yet that was not all He did. In his life Jesus showed us how to live, how to pray and how to act. Through His parables, teachings and His own actions He has provided for us a road map to His Kingdom. Yet one of the most powerful lessons He gave us came at the end of His earthly life, lifted upon that cross, the new Tree in the center of the garden, he spoke words of love and tenderness, His final words he offers to us as man.

Jesus cried out in a loud voice,
“Father, into your hands I commend my spirit”

Gospel of Luke 23:46

Into your hands, I run, into your hands I collapse, into your hands I surrender… It is the Father that we offer ourselves; it is the Father that we seek for our comforts. Jesus, upon the cross, spoke these words, upon the cross He offers them to us. For each and every utterance Jesus spoke upon that cross brought Him one step closer to death, so each and every word, every letter, had a deep and profound meaning. He did not just say words He thought would sound nice, or words He thought would comfort His mother. No the words upon that cross were meant as final instructions. This was Jesus Great Fiat, His final Amen. Yet they are ours as well, for Jesus spoke them not for Himself, nor for God, for God already knows what is on mans mind, how much more He knew his only son. No the words from the cross were spoken for us, for you and me.

Jesus is telling us, that we, to truly be free from sin, must commend our spirits into Gods loving and open hands. That we must, of our own Freewill, offer ourselves to God. This and this alone, offers us our salvation. The Letting go of the ego and the acceptance of the loving arms of God is the true path to salvation. Jesus was stretched out upon that cross, His arms wide open to accept us, but He could not force us, He could not grab us, for his hands have been confined with the nail of sin, He cannot walk to us, for His feet have been bound by the nail of pride and he could not force us, for His earthly body had been scourged by the whip of humanity. Jesus could only offer open arms to receive us, if we chose to come to Him, to His beaten and bloodied body, to His Divine Humanity hung upon that cross.

This Lent reflect upon the words of Jesus from the Tree of salvation, eat of its fruits and look upon its limbs and see the face of salvation, the face of Jesus, the face of God.

Into your Arms I run, Into your Arms I collapse, Into your Arms I offer up my spirit.

God Bless & Happy Lent

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

I am currently updating the website, and accepting new clients

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What is your Focus this Lent?

Image via Wikipedia

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Were is your focus this Lent? On you or on Jesus. Lent is not about us, it is not about self-improvement, it is about Jesus, it’s about New Birth, it’s about New Life, it’s about New Perseverance and New Death.

New Birth

[ Praise to God for a Living Hope ] Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,
1 Peter 1:2-4

As a Christian we are a new creation, but more importantly as a Christian we believe that God became man and was born of woman into our humanity. His birth is the source of our New Birth. Because of a Childs Birth, we now have the opportunity to experience our Birth, our New Birth into Christ’s Church, into His Mystical Body.

Lent is a time for us to reflect upon the New Birth, a time to renew our own vigor and a time to dig deeper into our Birthright.  With out the Birth of Christ, we would have no Resurrection, and without our New Birth into the Mystical Body, we would have no hope or joy, no resurrection of our own.

Now I’m not saying that we, like Christ, will rise from the dead, but we will, with Gods grace upon us, experience a sort of resurrection, one of a New life being born within us. 

New Life

Though we are slaves, our God has not forsaken us in our bondage. He has shown us kindness in the sight of the kings of Persia: He has granted us new life to rebuild the house of our God and repair its ruins, and he has given us a wall of protection in Judah and Jerusalem.
Ezra 9:8-10

We are slaves, slaves of our flesh, slaves of our world and slaves of our sin. Yet we have been promised a New Life, a Life of Milk and Honey, a life of Love and Understanding. Yet we still suffer as Christians, we suffer because we are Christians, because we proclaim our Christianity to all. We suffer more for our convictions than we would if we would denounce or hide them. Or, so we think. Our suffering for the sake of Jesus is our joy, our suffering is our cross.

The Cross of Jesus is the symbol of His suffering and death for our sins, but it is so much more. The Cross is not a sign of defeat, of the end of Death, but a sign of Victory, of the New Life, the Resurrection, the Empty Tomb.The surging’s He suffered, the humiliation and abandonment he endured was not for his sake, but for ours. The Cross is the peace sign of the Christian movement, it is the battle cry of our army and the symbol of our nation. The Cross of Christ is our model, our example our map to the New Life.

Lent offers us the time to examine the Cross of Christ, to feel the wood grain and to touch the blood that drips and runs down its hued sided. Lent offers us the Cross not as a symbol but as a reality.

New Perseverance

Therefore, among God’s churches we boast about your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and trials you are enduring.
2 Thessalonians 1:3-5

We understand perseverance, most of us live it. The Church understands perseverance, she is live proof of it. But we only know of earthly perseverance, Jesus knew of Heavenly perseverance. A perseverance the He taught us on the night He was betrayed. He endured for us and triumphed over for us Death. His perseverance was paramount and divine in nature.

Lent offers us a time to experience perseverance of the Heavenly sort. All we need to do is ask our Heavenly Father for the Grace to preserver and to come through this Lenten session a New Creation. TO allow us to shun temptations and linger in the shadow of the Cross. Heavenly Perseverance is attainable for the asking.

New Death

Yet you sweep people away in the sleep of death— they are like the new grass of the morning:
Psalm 90:4-6

Death, for Christians, is not the end, in-fact, for Christians it is only the beginning. Yet our human nature, our fallen understandings define death as an end. Death, of the flesh is such a death, but death of the spirit, there is no such death, to a Christian. For Christ secured for us, upon that Cross, a New Death, a Death in to New Life. A glorious Death, a welcomed Death a Death of everlasting Life.

Look upon the Cross, see with in it the doorway to eternity. Look into the Cross and see beyond it into the glory of Heaven. The Master calling to his own, the Shepard retrieving His sheep. The Cross is our Doorway and the empty tomb is our passage way, Christ as laid out the plan, the road to eternity has been carved out of Calvary and He awaits our arrival.

Lent is a time to explore that road a little bit closer, a time to enter into the Death of our Lord a little deeper and a time to experience a New Death, a Death of the old ways, the way of Sin, a time to be born again, into Christ.

Focus

So, what is your focus for Lent, is it to stop eating candy or to start walking the road to Calvary?

God Bless & Happy Lent

Paul Sposite

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Whitney and the 4 points

First Point

I, like many, was sadden to hear about Whitney Houston’s death. Death, of anyone, is always a tragic and sad moment, Life that has ended always leaves someone sad, even the murder has loved ones. Yes, I am a child of the 80’s, I graduated in ‘84, so the soundtrack to my teenage years was the 80’s. I remember seeing Whitney in “The Body Guard” and hearing “I will always love you” and thinking, what a great and powerful song. That is my favorite song of hers. The power and depth touched me, and it still does. I remember thinking what a mistake it was when she married Bobby Brown and thinking how sad it was when she admitted she was a crack user. What a tragic waste of life, and in the end, it was. So yes, I was saddened, but I was not shocked.

Second Point

I knew, once I heard the news reports, that the eulogies would start, the road to sainthood would be paved and Whitney, by some, would become a symbol of perfection. I listened to people, fans or just happen to be standing their, state there professed love for her, I listened to them talk of her as if she was perfection. I listen to then shaking my head in wonderment and asking myself “How can they sit there and talk about her as if she had nothing to do with her own death.” Whitney had a problem, she was a drug user, she use to be a crack addict, as far as we know she was not using it anymore. But years of abuse has its residual effects on the body. We do know she was found with prescription drugs and alcohol in her system. But as of this posting, we do not know if that was the cause of her death. And I will not even venture to guess, to me that is as wrong as all who make her out to be a saint. Whitney is dead, this much we know, Whitney was, and possible was at the time of her death, a drug user and Whitney was a talent that we only see every so often on this earth.

Third Point

As the news unfolded, and more stars had the opportunity to make sure there voice and face was seen and heard on TV over Whitney’s death, I heard more than once, “Whitney is in heaven now”… This statement, as well-meaning as it is, has always bothered me. As a Catholic, I do not believe we know the fait of anyone, not even ourselves. As a Catholic I do not believe that we know the heart of anyone, so I do not know what was in Whitney’s heart at the time of her death, so I do not know if she was in the good Graces of God or not. Only Whitney and God know that. So for me, a humble, fallen, Human to  state that anyone is in heaven is very presumptions. As a Catholic, I do not believe in the once saved always saved theology. to me that just opens the door to , I can do as I please, because I am saved. As a Catholic, if I had to venture a guess as to Whitney’s current state, it would have to be that she, if God wills it, is in Purgatory, not heaven. Where she can purify herself and make ready for the glory that is heaven. Do I know this, absolutely not, do I pray for this for he, absolutely.

Fourth Point

Whitney was a mother, a sister and a daughter, she was loved as such. But she was also a talented singer and entertainer who has millions of fans. But like all of us, she was lost and searching, she was a fallen creation, searching for Gods love and compassion. And sadly she turned to drugs to find it. We all have faults, none of us are perfect. I do not know if Whitney is in Heaven or Hell, but this I do know. To deny the existence of Hell is dangerous, and to deny. The Evil One exist and he greatest lie is this, “Hell does not exist”. I do not know what has become of Whitney’s soul, nor would I venture to guess. But this I do know, only God and Whitney know if she is at peace or not.

God Bless

Paul Sposite

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An Open Letter to all Catholics, to all Americans

Dear Catholics:

This Open letter it to all Catholics, be they liberal or conservative, laps or practicing, fallen away or on their way back home to Rome. In-fact this open letter should be shared with non-Catholics, non-Christians and anyone who is concerned about their personal liberty and freedom. This letter is intended to excite you, motivate you and call you to action. This letter is a letter of protest and a letter of compassion; it is written from my heart and shared with the world. It will, undoubtably contain miss-spellings, bad punctuation and grammatical errors. However, what it will not contain is false emotions and lack of integrity. It will be heartfelt and passionate, it will be my personal views and my faith presented for you and for all.

Revelation 3:16
So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.

The above quote is the foundation upon I build my letter. The words of St. John in the book of Revelation needs to be in our hearts and on our minds as we read this letter and internalized. It is the basis of all that I have to say concerning the current state of anti-Catholic, anti-liberty rhetoric coming from Washington DC.

The Obama administration continues their attack on Liberty and Freedom; they continue to erode our rights to religious freedom. The latest being their insistence that Catholic Institutions abandon their core beliefs and offer healthcare benefits that cover birth control, sterilization and abortion causing drugs. This is a direct act against our religious freedom and anti-American. (Source)

We, as Americans, as Catholics as a freedom loving people must stand up, speak out and protest this act of religious bigotry. We, as Catholics, are called to do so, by our very baptism, we have been given the responsibility to stand up for and defend our faith and our Church. Yet, all too often, we fail to do so. If we remain still and quiet the Obama Administration will win, not just the healthcare debate, but even more importantly they will the war he and his administration has waged against religious freedoms.

Our right as Americans and our obligations as Catholics are being challenged and we must respond, and we must respond loudly and boldly. This administration is forcing Catholic Charities, Hospitals and Schools to support and pay for treatments that are counter to our faith, counter to our faith structure. This should shock all Americans, not just Catholics. This is an attack on all Freedoms, not just Religious Freedoms. The Founding Fathers would be shocked to their core and the call for Revolution would once again be heard over this great land. The Founding Fathers fought for Freedom and Liberty, the ability for people to choose their Faith and practices it as seen fit by the faith. They fought for less government and more personal responsibility, not for Big Brother and Government intervention into our daily lives. Healthcare is a personal responsibility and one that the government should not be involved in, but that will be saved for another time. Back to this open letter and the attack on our religious freedoms.

From Bishop Boyea of the Lansing Diocese

Diocese of Lansing Responds to HHS Mandate

These past days have seen a grave error on the part of the federal government, as well as a blessed response from Catholics all across this great state and nation.
By now, all men and women of faith know that the United States Department of Health and Human Services has declared that health benefit plans must include coverage for sterilization, contraception, and abortion-inducing drugs. This unconstitutional and unconscionable mandate is to take effect in stages during 2012 and 2013.
The Catholic Church in the United States will never comply with this mandate. Told that the federal government has allowed a one-year grace period during which the Church can adjust itself to this mandate, Cardinal-designate Timothy Dolan of the Archdiocese of New York responded that the Church does not need a year to determine whether it would comply. He is right. In offering this supposed mandate, the federal government misreads the Constitution of the United States. It equally misreads the determination of Catholics.
This nation is built upon the three-legged stool of the First Amendment. Our precious freedoms of religion, speech, and assembly underlie everything this nation is, and everything this nation has ever accomplished. Religious liberty gives the freedom to preach the Truth. And the truth is that pregnancy is not a disease. Nor is the natural fertility of a woman a disease.
Through the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops and the Michigan Catholic Conference, we are exploring a number of options, including litigation and Congressional reform. As these efforts move forward, Catholics should make clear to their elected officials the crucial importance of religious liberty, and they should pray daily for those who have the responsibility for making these decisions.(Source)

God Bless Bishop Boyea for his strong stance, he truly is a Sheppard of his flock, and I for one am proud to know he is in Michigan and at one time was part of the Archdiocese of Detroit. He speaks boldly and strongly, and his statement should be ours, we, as Catholics, will never comply with this mandate. We need to refuse, to protest and to vote with our Catholic heart and sensibility. We need to let Obama and his administration that he cannot, that no politician can dictate the pillars of our faith, that no mortal man can overturn the laws of God! We will not stand for this and we will, we must, fight back!

It is not only Conservatives or Republicans that should be upset, but Liberals and Democrats, this is not going to stop, the power grab will continue if it is not revered. We will see more laws; more directives infringing upon our Liberates and Freedoms enter into the cause of fairness and equality. The forced secularization of Catholic institutions is neither fair nor equal; it is tyranny in its infancy. It is socialism at its birth and will continue to grow unless we, as Americans, stand and fight! It is time that we rejuvenate our revolutionary hearts and stand for what is right.

Please do not miss understand me here, I am not talking about bloodshed, but I am talking about revolution, a change in the current regime and a return to Liberty and the Constitution. This Administration has trampled this document more than any other has; they have no respect for the Founders and see the Constitution as outdated and in-need of an update, The Constitution 2.0, if you will. Obama himself has stated this:

The President said,”…our Founders designed a system that makes it more difficult to bring about change than I would like sometimes.” (Source)

Really, the system Obama is referring to is outlined and detailed in the Constitution… Hmm, How dare the Founders limit King Obama’s power to force his radical and leftist views upon Americans. That is exactly what he is doing with the contraceptive healthcare law being enforced upon Catholics. I know some Liberals and pro-abortionist are hailing this as a victory. However, they should be careful not to celebrate too much, because soon the heavy hand of tyranny will crush your freedoms and liberties, as it is ours. Hold your convictions tight, as Americans; we have the right to do so, and an obligation to defend them. However, be careful and de diligent, the road to socialism is paved with many tempting things. Such as forcing all to accept, for the betterment of all, abortion, birth control and serialization. It promises a nation with “free” healthcare and equality that is not only protected by the government but also guaranteed. The temptations of Utopia are many and they shine and glimmer of in the distance, just like fools gold below the waters of injustice. We all want Equality and Liberty, we all strive for Freedom and Fairness, but as we quest for and search for this Utopia, this perfection of Government and men, we often times forget the men to whom we are governing. Our Nation was designed with one concept in mind, that it is man who gives government its power, not government who gives man its Freedoms. We, as a Nation allow the Federal Government the power to withhold Liberties and Freedoms as a payment for protection of our Liberties and Freedoms. We give them the power, not the other way around. Yet they seem to see it differently, The Obama administration seems to see it as they grant us our Freedoms and Liberties, and in doing so, they rightly feel they have the power to remove, to hold ransom, our Liberties and Freedoms. As long as we allow them to feel this way, as long as we do not stand and fight for our Freedoms and Liberties, they will continue to act as if they have the power over us, and not as our Founding Fathers intended, we have the power of them. It is our Government, we created it and we can destroy it or we can restore it! What will it be? This is a defining moment in our history; this is a turning point for our Great Nation. How will we react?

Revelation 3:16
So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.

I for one am going to stand and Fight!

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

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