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Holding my Breath


Confusion_by_twilibird

Just some update to a few post in the past…

I did a few post titled “Drama Part….”, they were post dealing with a young man whom I took into my home. His Mother (using the term lightly) and him did not get along, he was in juvenile detention for 6 weeks or so for a domestic “dispute” with his mother, and when he got out he asked me if he could move in. I said yes and the dram started.

I had to go to court to get guardianship over him, originally his mother agreed to this, but as things moved on (read older post for more detail) this changed. She basically abandoned him, causing more hardship and court. But as it happened I gained stated ordered guardianship over him. In January of this year his probation was lifted, and things went down hill….

To tell the truth, even before his probation was lifted, it was an up hill battle, but one I thought he was willing to fight and win. He has anger and authority issues. He is of the mind set that sex is the path to manhood and “doing as you please” is a sign of adulthood. This mix was not, as you probably know, conducive to a positive life style, nor one that I allow in my house. As it turns out, he also did not like my rules, but seemed to deal with them as long as he had to, meaning until he was off probation.

The real issues started when I discovered his current “girl friend” was 14 at the time he started to “date” her. He is 17, and will be 18 soon. She turned 15, but that does not change the facts that she is under age and that he has a tendency to sleep with whom ever he dates.  When I finally told him, after weeks of trying to convince him, that he can not date her, see her or talk to her, he decided it was time to run… And run he did.

Shortly after he ran away, I received my cell phone bill… Shock is not a strong enough word for what I felt when I saw the total due…. He managed, in less than 30 days of usage, to ring up a $150.00 bill, all over usage rates! I was not pleased. A few weeks after he ran away he called me to ask what the $150.00 on the front of his folder containing all his papers (SS card, Insurance and such) was about. When I told him it was his phone bill… His adult response “Your my guardian, you pay it”… Pay it I did, and as for him, he is, last I heard, living with his mother, missing tons of school and delving back into the life he stated he wanted to leave behind, until he found out it took lots of work…. Sad, he has good in him, but I can not force him to choose good, I can only offer the support and structure, I did, and he rejected it. God willing he will learn it all on his own, but I will not hold my breath for that to happen anytime soon.

 

The second update also deals with one of my boys. I have also written about in in other post. His Father, once again using the term lightly, has also basically abounded him because he did not make the top 20 of his graduation class. Or at leas that was the latest reason given. I previous postings I talked about how he needed his dad to sign stating he was not going to help his son pay for schooling. His dad, being the great dad that he is, refused to even sigh stating he would not sign… We got through that, and he went to school. Now the new issue, same results. He got a scholarship for a full ride at a community college in the Chicago area. He was very excites, and I was a proud parent… But the one parent who could help him see this opportunity come too was his dad. He had money for schooling but not rent, gas, food, etc.… Yes he can and would work, but with soccer practice and games, he would not be able to work a lot of hours. So he wrote to his dad, asking if he would please sigh for his loans.. The response.. No!

So now I have a broken hearted young man, who only wants the respect and acceptance of his father but only gets No’s. I can only do so much, and I do what I can, but I am not his father, he does not seek my love and acceptance, he knows he has it from me.

Not sure how I get all the youth with parent issues, but I do. God must have a plan for me and the youth that end up living at my house. I just pray that in the end I did all I could to help them become productive, happy and healthy adults. God willing… But I don’t hold my breath. I know I am flawed and make mistakes dealing with them.

Take the fist case listed above. Did I do the right thing? Was I to hard on him or to easy on him. Did I not understand him or even try to understand him. Was I to quick to assume? All questions that swim around in my head. And with the second case, can I be doing more? Should I do more? Should I contact his father and give him a good “What For”? Or just let it alone and he has requested I do…. I do the best I can, but never am sure it is the best…. 

So I hold my breath….

God Bless

Paul

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The Drama…. continued yet again


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This coming week is a big week in the continuing story of the Drama. This week I head of to court to get the final court appointed guardianship papers. Wednesday he will no longer have to worry about who will care for him, if he will be removed from the house or what his legal status is. As of Wednesday afternoon he will be under my care.

Now for those that know me, they may be saying an extra prayer for the young man, and wondering if the state knows what they are doing…. But rest assured, he will be safe and sound. With Christmas upon us, he has already received one of his gifts, the gift of a family that loves him, a family that wants him and who will care for him.

I know I should no-longer be in shock, but I am, I just do not understand his “mother”. How can his own blood treat him as something that can be discarded, like an old used tire? How can she sleep at night? I just don’t get it.

Sure, he has his “problems”, he thinks he should be able to do as he pleases, he thinks he is all that, and a bag of chips and he thinks all adults are stupid. But what teen does not? These are normal everyday teen issues. With a little discipline, love and understanding, he has grown and changed, and with more of the same, he will become an outstanding member of society, one that will add joy to this world.

Her idea of child rearing is to be their friend, to let them do as they please and to treat them as an equal. None of which work, and never will work. Parents are not friends to their children, they are parents. Discipline is not a bad think, it is, if used correctly, a tool that will help shape your child. But in her mind, it took time away from her, and she wanted all her time to be hers. The children she brought in to the world are nothing more than a burden. They are not something to nurture and love, but rather something to dismiss and use as fashion accessory. To bring them along to show off, and to dismiss when they are no-longer fashionable, that happens about the teenage years. I just don’t get it!

But at least I know the one that lives with me and the one that is currently with their father will do fine. It is the youngest one that I am not concerned with. At the age of 9 he is still fashionable, but soon he will no-longer be, soon he will be disregarded like the others. His father is fighting for him, so I pray that soon he too will be same and sound, in a home that love and discipline are used, But until then I worry.

I know her, she is unstable at best and I would have to say a tad-bit crazy, she has already moved to a new “home” with out telling her husband where she is, what is to stop her from just picking up and moving out-of-state? Nothing, she cares for know one but herself, so she has nothing keeping her rooted her or anywhere. She is basically NUTS! But we all know this….

Well, the drama, at least for one, will end this Wednesday, lets hope and pray that it will also end soon for the youngest brother. Keep praying for them all

God Bless

Paul

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Posted by on December 12, 2010 in Family, Growing Up, Life, Love, youth

 

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The Saga… Part 2


Yesterday I blogged about the Saga of 3 boys and a mother. Today I will continue that storyline (I only wish it was a story).

 

As of today, the mother of the young man living in my house has not returned his calls or talked to him. My feeling is, he no longer serves a purpose for her. She wanted to use him as a pawn in her little game, and I would not allow it, and he chose to listen to me.

Back to the night of the birthday party, the father at my sisters house and the mother not at all happy with the situation. The father left my sisters, with the two boys, prior to her showing up. She threaten to bring the police, and he did not want his boys dragged in to all that. She shows up, asked were the boys are, I reply that the father took them. Her response, This is how you help me, my response, you need to help yourself. She response was to call her oldest son, the one that lives with me, out. He came out and she said, ok lets go, you got to be my witness that I dropped the boys off with Paul. My response, no he can’t go, he does not need to get involved in all this. And as for witness, none is needed, I wont lie (a concept she just don’t understand, she thinks everyone lies because she does).

I must admit, I felt for him, what a hard situation to be in at his age, but he stood his ground. He knows that I would not do him harm, and in some ways I think he knows his mom i a little unstable…

She calls his probation officer and try’s to force his departure, but he will also have nothing of it, and her son remains. So it seems now she wants nothing to do with him, and in some ways that’s a good thing, but in others it sad. It just proves that she is only looking out for herself and her needs, not his nor his brothers. They are just pawns in her silly little game of life. It is truly a sad situation.

To add to the mix, I am getting calls from his father, who lives in Congo, Africa. Now understand that he has never cared for his son, lived with his son or raised his son, but he has always felt the need to call and yell at him when ever the need hits. Well that what he decided to do. The mother, for what ever reason, decided that a person in Congo, Africa could fix all this, i just don’t get it. So dad calls, tells his son that he must live with his mother. The son explains that his mother is homeless, the father, being concerned, sates that it does not matter, live under a bridge or in the forest, as long as your with your mother. Now I must say that’s logic and love at its best! How he planned to enforce his ruling from Africa, I have no idea, and what makes him feel he has a right to tell him anything is also a question for the ages, but he does and he did.

The next day I was blessed with a phone call from dear old dad. He wanted to tell me that he was not going to sign the court papers to give me guardianship. My response, Ok Sir, but understand that he can not live with his mother, she is homeless and he will end up in foster-care. His educated response, that’s a small matter. My response, No Sir, it is not, not to me or the state of Michigan. He has to have an address, he can not live on the streets. His response, that’s a small matter… And on and on it went, until he hung up on me. I just love logical parents… I just wish I could deal with one. I am starting not to like African parents, I love the kids…

Well I must say that dear old dad called back today and talked to his boy, and decided that he, his boy, could make up his own mind on were was best for him to live. This did a few things for me, one gave me a little bit of respect for dear old dad, two, this will really piss of the mother of the year, and to me that’s a good thing and three, and most importantly is gives the power back to his son, were it belongs.

So the saga in nowhere from being over, but it looks like the tide has come in, and now is receding. Continue to pray for the boys, all 3 of them, that they will be safe and happy. And I will continue to update as needed.. I hope the next update is more positive than the last few.

 

God Bless

Paul

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Reading and Ranting


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I love to read, I read books, magazines, newspapers and anything else I can find to read. I love to read different types or styles from Stephen King to Bishop Fulton Sheen. Give me a Catholic book, magazine or newspaper and I will read it. I have read the liberal press and the conservative press. I just love to read. Most people I know read for enjoyment, not to expand their knowledge base, not to learn a new fact or verify a teaching, they just read to be entertained. Me, I read knowledge, I read to grow my mind, my understanding and my ability to process information. I love to find new facts or expand my understanding of what I already know. It doesn’t matter what I am reading, for the most part, with very few exceptions, everything I read teaches me something. I will admit that at times I just want to read, I don’t want to learn anything new, I don’t want to grow, I just want to read. And when that feeling hits me I pick up one of my “car” books, books I have that I place in my car for emergency reading, like when I have a doctors appointment or decide to go out to eat on my own. My “car” books are mindless pocket books, detective type stories, no moral message, just good old fashion 1930’s style detective books. They are good for a fun and easy read, so they make perfect “car” books. But mostly I read to grow…

This fact is nothing new to anyone who has read my blogs before, I often talk about reading and relay some interesting fact along from what I have read. Well this posting is no different, except instead of a fact to pass on this time I am going to pass on a concept, an idea I read. I know I have blogged the same idea or concept along before, but sometimes you just got to keep beating the same drum. Over the weekend I was reading through all my Catholic newspapers I get, it seems that Saturday and Sunday are the only days I get to read them… So I am always playing catch up on the weekend. But be that as it may, I was reading my favorite Catholic Newspaper, The Wanderer, by the way if you do not subscribe to this paper, do so now, it is by far the best paper I have read. What makes me like it so much, it is only 8 pages, the news is conservative and it always has interesting articles. But back to what I was saying, I was reading The Wanderer and ran across an article about abortion, they always includes a pro-life article or two in each weekly paper, this article used and example of how truly ridicules the liberals can be when it comes to there pro-murder stance with adoration. The author used the example of how the government is deciding to regulate soda pop in schools. In-of-itself not a bad thing, but is it truly something the government should be concerned with, is it not more a parenting issue? I think it is, but the liberal government seems to think that they are charged with the health and wellbeing of your child, and they have to look out for and care for them. Once again, as a conservative I feel it is up to the parents and the community to decide if soda pop should be allowed in schools, along with candy bars and pizza and any other unhealthy items. But our Big Brother Government has decided we are to stupid to deal with it. But our government, who is so concerned about our child’s health and well being will allow that same 12 year old, who can not get a soda to get an abortion. Stop and think about that…

Government will not allow soda pop but will allow murder…

Government feels children should be “protected” in schools from harmful things, such as soda and candy, but hands out condoms to 5 year olds like it was candy…

Government requires a parent to be present and notified for an under age child to get an ear piercing or tattoo, but allows a 12 year old to get a major operation to abort the baby, with out parent notification…

Government states that you, the parent, are responsible for that child until they turn 18, yet they undermined your authority at every step of the way. They decided that it is ok for your under aged child to murder another human being, they decide that soda is harmful, yet murder is not.

The article in The Wanderer made the simple comparison of soda banning to abortion, the rest was mine and the list is endless. The nanny state is growing in the country and we, the American People, are allowing it to do so, We are tossing our hands up in the air and allowing the Obama administration to do as they please. Our freedoms as parents and care givers are being striped away, one silly law at a time, our freedoms as law abiding adults are being minimized with each passing day, yet we do nothing, Why? Why do we do nothing, why do we just sit back and allow this to happen? Because we have been sold a bill-of-goods that sounds utopic in nature. We have been told that they care for us, they know best for us, and and by the way here is some money… They have purchased us, and we are becoming powerless, complacent and sedentary. Shame on us, shame on the Catholic Bishops of the United States for not teaching the truth boldly and loudly! And why don’t they, why are the silent on most issues, because most of the Bishops are in the pockets of the liberal Democratic Party of this great nation. Sure they state they are pro=life, but not to loudly for fear that the Democrats may hear them. Sure they write there papers and event send them to the press, but the liberal press will use it only to degrade the Church.

Our Bishops should be marching on DC, demanding that abortion be abolished, that our children should be protected from Planned Parenthood should not be allowed to be in contact with our children. Our Bishops should be teaching and informing the faithful and the true teachings of our faith, the Church established by God. Our Bishops should be speaking out against the Obama administration and its efforts to allow millions of illegal immigrants to gain entry into this country, a act that has nothing to do with compassion but everything to do with the 2012 election. Our Bishops need to take a stand for the faith, the true faith and not some liberation theology version of the faith. And if they refuse to do so, they should leave the church and find one that represents there version of the truth. Harsh I know, but that’s how I feel most of the time. I do not understand Catholics who disagree with 90% of the teachings, yet remain Catholic. Our Bishops need to hold the Catholic politicians feet to the fire of truth, calling them in, confronti
ng them with the truth and forcing the issue at hand. Basically our Bishops need to stand up and be men, be the voice of the Church, the voice of Christ calling out in to the wilderness and calling His sheep back in to the fold. They need to stand tall and strong in the face of deception, toll the line of truth and fly the flag of our Church, The Church established by Jesus Christ, the visible Church here on earth.

The more I read, the more passion I get for the Truth, for the Faith. The more I learn the more love I have for my Church and Her teachings. I may not understand them all, and I may wish at some of Her teachings were not, but that is a human problem, my problem, not Hers. Reading provides me with the ability to discover the truth, in my own time and way. Be it Stephen King or Catholic Answers Magazine, The Truth will shine through the pages. The Truth will set you free, a lesson we all need to learn and relearn on a daily basis. The Bishops would be smart to remember this, and to teach this truth.

Please know that in no way do I assume that all Bishops are failing in there duties. Most are, i assumed, good and holy people. But over all the Catholic voice in America is silent, and that voice belongs to the Bishops. Yes Catholic laity and priest and other religious have a duty to proclaim the Good News to all the ends of the earth, but it is our Bishops who should be leading us, teaching us and guiding us.

God Bless

Paul

Ethics of Procreation and the Defense of Human Life: Contraception, Artifical Fertilization, and Abortion
Matthew 4:4“Jesus answered, "It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.”

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Compassion


Stock Photo of the Consitution of the United S...

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Ok, so here it is, I have been listening to talk radio on the way into work, and the big topic The Arizona law on illegal’s.  The Catholic Bishops seem to think the law is inhuman and some how degrading. The liberal bleeding hearts feel that the law is unjust and takes away the God given rights to enjoy the freedom of America and all she has to offer. And the the conservatives are applauding the law calling for it to be enacted in every sate of the union. This law has stirred up the nation and given the talking heads weeks if not months of material.

For anyone who reads my blog, you already know where I stand, for those who never have read my blog, well you will just have to wait and see. I am going to try to keep my opinion on this until the end. I want to start off with just facts. First, what the law truly states, not what the talking heads want us to hear, second what the Catholic Church truly states, not the opinions of the individuals. And as for the bleeding hearts, well no amount of reasoning will ever make a difference, they don’t like facts they  only like “feelings” so we will not concern ourselves with them to much.

Fact One: The Law:

The law itself only enforces the federal law that is already on the books. The United States of America has a standing law that requires all immigrants to carry papers.The Arizona law only enforces this federal law. The law also gives Arizona officers the right to request papers if they find reasonable cause to question citizenship. Officers in Arizona cannot randomly question anyone, they cannot “profile” anyone. The law is a secondary response, meaning that someone can not be stopped, pulled over or questioned just on a suspicion that they may be illegal. They must first be stopped, pulled over or questions for some other illegal activity, such as speeding. Once the person has been pulled over for speeding the office still needs “reasonable” suspicion to request papers. (Read information here)

 

Fact Two: The Church:

CCC 2241 The more prosperous nations are obliged, to the extent they are able, to welcome the foreigner in search of the security and the means of livelihood which he cannot find in his country of origin. Public authorities should see to it that the natural right is respected that places a guest under the protection of those who receive him.

Political authorities, for the sake of the common good for which they are responsible, may make the exercise of the right to immigrate subject to various juridical conditions, especially with regard to the immigrants’ duties toward their country of adoption. Immigrants are obliged to respect with gratitude the material and spiritual heritage of the country that receives them, to obey its laws and to assist in carrying civic burdens.

Above are the only two facts that truly matters in this debate. My opinion is mine and cannot be enforced upon anyone, your opinion is yours and the same is true. We can debate the morality of the law or of what the church states but we can not and should not allow our opinion override the facts as stated above.

The bleeding heart liberals, both within the Church and outside of it can cry and call foul all day long. They can claim unfair justice, racism and any other  “slander” of the day they like. But what they cannot do is claim that the law, both inside and outside the Church, is not clear. The law of the Church and the law of the land, both, are clear. All are welcome here in the USA, please come and enjoy a better life for yourself, but please respect the law of the land. Immigrate here legally, go through the proper channels, get the proper documentation.

The liberals will cry foul at this, that it is some how degrading to make someone follow the law. If this is they case, lets abolish all laws, why risk degrading anyone. Besides following the law of the land is not degrading, it is respectful.

They, the liberals, will cry, but they are running from an oppressive government.. Fine, than apply for political asylum here in the USA. We have laws and procedures to help out all who come to our shores.

But here is the question of the day….

Why would I want a neighbor or co-worker how feels that they alone are above the law? That they do not need to follow the law of the land because they are not of this land or they have no connection to it? Think about it, if I am here in this land, but according to the law of the land I do not exist, why would I bother to care about her? I will work to change the law of the land to benefit me, the illegal, and not those who are citizens or here legally. We already see this happening, the protesters holding up signs demanding there rights to American benefits! Yet they break our laws to enter this country and refuse to follow the laws once they are here.

I can hear the liberals now.. Not all illegal’s are criminals. Most are hard working people who just want a better life for themselves and there families. And you know what I will agree with most of that. Most are hard working people with families only looking to improve there lot in life, and I say God bless them. But I also say they are criminals, they are here illegally. Most not paying taxies for the services they require and demand.

So what to do?

Looking at each point, reading the documents and researching the issue would be a first step. removing your personal feelings for the moment would be a good step also. Emotions can cloud issues, and facts can be set aside. Doing that will than make you a liberal, facts and liberals do not get along. Well unless the fact was one made up by the liberal to fit there specific need at that specific time. But that’s another issue.

What else can you do, how about get a sense of what true compassion is, true humanitarianism is. Allowing anyone and everyone to enter our country is not and cannot be considered compassion, nor is it humane. Not to them and not to law abiding Americans and legal immigrants.

The influx of illegal’s has caused great strain on your so
cial networks, hospitals and schools. It has created a whole subculture that is anti-American and is a divisive force within our political system. The last election we saw this, both political parties are pandering to the illegal’s. why would they do this… To increate the base… Its all about the vote to them. Do not allow them to trick you, to make you think they are being compassionate, they are not, they are counting future votes. The kids of the illegal will be natural born citizens, able to vote. They offer free health care, free education and most importantly, they are granted immunity to our laws. No you say, what laws are they immune from? How about the law that requires all non-Americans to request entry into our country? Hmm, is that a good enough law for you? In the name of compassion we don’t even require them to learn English, instead we will bend or culture to there’s.

But the liberals will cry, we are all immigrants to the nation. Yes we are, but what does that have to do with it? Nothing, it is now our nation, with laws of it’s own. They then will cry out that they have God given rights under the Constitution of the United States. it’s kind of ironic that the liberals would use the very document they are hell bent on destroying to defend there have baked idea of compassion. Correct me if I am wrong, but the Constitution of the United States of America is to protect the citizens of America from the government of America, not the citizens of other countries. Am i right or am I right?

But if the liberal wants to argue that logic than so be it. Using that logic, that the constitution of for the whole world, not just for citizens of the good old US of A. Great! Now the liberals should shut up about the wars because we are only doing as the constitution tells us, to protect the citizens from the government. In fact I think we need more protection going on…

I am a compassionate person, I do feel sorry for people who want to enter the United States but just can’t. Be it due to money or other reasons. But I do not think that allowing every person free and open access to our country is the compassionate response called for.

How about this…

You apply for entry into the USA, no money, than you can apply for a sponsor, Good law abiding Americans will donate to a fund, freely donate, not taxed forced donations. They are interviewed, a criminal back ground check is done and a drug test along with other medical test are completed. If all goes well and the fund has money you are allowed to enter the country. You must attend English classes and you must report to your assigned rep to show that you are complying with all requirements. You must obtain a job with in 45 days of entry, the rep will assist you in finding job training if needed. You must learn to speak English with in 90 day, etc…

To me this is compassion, as the old saying goes, give a man a fish he eats for a day, teach him to fish he eats for life… I say teach them to fish… That is compassion!

The liberals will say that I am being insensitive to them, that I am treating them like second class citizens. No, not at all, I am helping them gain the tools to survive in America.  I am teaching them to learn the language and culture they chose to enter. To not teach them, to not offer a helping hand would be cruel. To only give hand-outs and not hand-ups is inhumane. And that’s what our current system does, hand-outs. o I look at the liberals as the cruel ones, not the conservatives that want to teach them to be self-sufficient not codependent.

As for what some of our Bishops are saying about all this, well they truly need to read what the Church teaches about this and they need to ask for forgiveness for teaching and leading the flock astray. And the Pope needs to let them know this kind of deception will not be tolerated anymore.

as for the millions currently in this country illegally, do we send them back and make them apply legally or do we create a system of checks and balances to determine the status of each and every person. I’m not sure, but it is somewhere between the two. I think we need to distinguish between illegal’s that are harmful to American and ones that are a positive. criminal records, educational levels and such should all be considered. So what do we do until all this is cleaned up.

Build a wall, hire more guards, use any all means at our disposal to protect our borders. Close all immigration until we have a comprehensive plan to deal with it. Our nation is struggling as it is, and yes I know that our poverty is a life of riches to some entering this great nation. But we must, as a matter of national security and as a matter of humanitarianism, we must fix our own house first before we allow others in to it. The current system is no longer adequate, it need to be updated to a new world, post 9-11.

But I am no expert on such things, so I trust that one day our leaders will do what is right.

 

God Bless

Paul

Impact of Illegal Immigration on Public Benefit Programs and the American Labor Force; Hearing Before the Subcommittee on Immigration and
James 5:16“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”

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The Scandal


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The scandal of the Church has been on the front pages of the papers and lead stories on the nightly news. Over all this is a good thing, the Church needs to deal with this scandal. But what confuses me is the pure joy they, meaning the media, seem to get from all this. The catholic priest who molested young boys need help and prayers for sure, the bishops who allowed this to carry on and moved them from parish to parish need to be reprimanded, they need to step down. But why al the joy in the media?

It is good that the media is investigating the scandal, or should I say it would be good if they were investigating the scandal fairly.  But that is not the case, they are on a witch hunt and they are willing to take down the innocent as well as the guilty, and at the same time look the other way when it comes to our school systems or other faiths. This to me is a misuse of power and an injustice to children.

The current scandal in the Church is a scandal from twenty or thirty or more years ago, by no means lessening the travesty of it all, the over all population of priest involved is 2% at most. Once again not taking anything away from the harm caused, 2% is way to much, .0001% is to much, but over all 2% of our priest is not a large number.

Such figures led her to contend "the physical sexual abuse of students in schools is likely more than 100 times the abuse by priests." (Source)

Family members — fathers, stepfathers, uncles, older siblings — commit 47% of all reported sexual assaults against children in their own homes.

49% of all sexual assaults against children are committed by persons known either by the child or the child’s family — teachers, coaches, physicians, ministers, priests,  neighbors, youth leaders. (Source)

I am not using the statistics to take the spot light off of the Catholic Church, but rather to point it also on public education and other areas of concern.

Over all the reporting on the scandal in the Church has been a scandal unto itself. And with the current wave of anti-Catholic feelings I expect it will continue for sometime to come. But we as Catholics can do something about we can fight back, promote the positive aspects of the Church, the good She does for youth and the community She resides in. We can also point out, in letters to the editors, the injustice of the persecution of the Church over our public schools.

In a way the abuse at the public schools is an even greater evil than the priest. We have no choice but to send our youth to school, and we allow teachers to have full access to our youth 8 hour per day, five days a week. And if they are involved in sports, we also allow them to change in front of grown adults. We, in some ways are asking for it,

The scandal involving the priest is sickening at best, but we hold some of that responsibility ourselves. We places the parish priest upon pedestals and made them gods in there own rights, we allowed our children to spend the night at the rectory or to go on trips with them. Sure some parents were good friends with the priest, and as the statistics above state 49% of abuse is by someone they know and trust. But do we have to allow the percentage to go up? Do we have to feed in to it?

The problem of abuse is a social problem and it is not a new problem, it is as old as time (article). The Greek society is full of stories of young boys and me, by no means justifying the actions, just pointing out the reality. The issue is social. Contrary to popular belief most people who sexually abuse youth are not gay. As stated above they are mostly family members or close family friends. 

[M]ost men who molest little boys are not gay.  Only 21 percent of the child molesters we studied who assault little boys were exclusively homosexual.  Nearly 80 percent of the men who molested little boys were heterosexual or bisexual, and most of these men were married and had children of their own.27

These scientists have concluded that pedophilia is a separate orientation from homosexuality and that the vast majority of molesters who target boys have either no interest in mature males or are heterosexual men who are attracted to the feminine characteristics of young boys.(source)

Homosexuality and homosexual pedophilia are not synonymous.  In fact, it may be that these two orientations are mutually exclusive, the reason being that the homosexual male is sexually attracted to masculine qualities whereas the heterosexual male is sexually attracted to feminine characteristics, and the sexually immature child’s qualities are more feminine than masculine. . . . The child offender who is attracted to and engaged in adult sexual relationships is heterosexual.  It appears, therefore, that the adult heterosexual male constitutes a greater sexual risk to underage children than does the adult homosexual male.19 .(source)

My over all point to this blog, we need to look at facts and we need to understand what we are dealing with. Sexual abuse of children is not a “Catholic” thing, nor is it a “gay” thing, it is a society thing and one that needs to be understood. The media is not doing its job, rather it is conduction a man hunt, if you will, on Catholics.

As Catholics we need to educate ourselves so we can better defend the Church in these times of turmoil. We need to know facts so we are not just shooting from the hip but rather using facts to fight our cause.  God willing the Church will survive and come out stringer when this persecution is over.

God Bless

Paul

Galatians 2:20“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

Brought to you by BibleGateway.com. Copyright (C) . All Rights Reserved.

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Posted by on April 7, 2010 in Faith, Family, History, Life

 

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The Scandal


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The scandal of the Church has been on the front pages of the papers and lead stories on the nightly news. Over all this is a good thing, the Church needs to deal with this scandal. But what confuses me is the pure joy they, meaning the media, seem to get from all this. The catholic priest who molested young boys need help and prayers for sure, the bishops who allowed this to carry on and moved them from parish to parish need to be reprimanded, they need to step down. But why al the joy in the media?

It is good that the media is investigating the scandal, or should I say it would be good if they were investigating the scandal fairly.  But that is not the case, they are on a witch hunt and they are willing to take down the innocent as well as the guilty, and at the same time look the other way when it comes to our school systems or other faiths. This to me is a misuse of power and an injustice to children.

The current scandal in the Church is a scandal from twenty or thirty or more years ago, by no means lessening the travesty of it all, the over all population of priest involved is 2% at most. Once again not taking anything away from the harm caused, 2% is way to much, .0001% is to much, but over all 2% of our priest is not a large number.

Such figures led her to contend “the physical sexual abuse of students in schools is likely more than 100 times the abuse by priests.” (Source)

Family members — fathers, stepfathers, uncles, older siblings — commit 47% of all reported sexual assaults against children in their own homes.

49% of all sexual assaults against children are committed by persons known either by the child or the child’s family — teachers, coaches, physicians, ministers, priests,  neighbors, youth leaders. (Source)

I am not using the statistics to take the spot light off of the Catholic Church, but rather to point it also on public education and other areas of concern.

Over all the reporting on the scandal in the Church has been a scandal unto itself. And with the current wave of anti-Catholic feelings I expect it will continue for sometime to come. But we as Catholics can do something about we can fight back, promote the positive aspects of the Church, the good She does for youth and the community She resides in. We can also point out, in letters to the editors, the injustice of the persecution of the Church over our public schools.

In a way the abuse at the public schools is an even greater evil than the priest. We have no choice but to send our youth to school, and we allow teachers to have full access to our youth 8 hour per day, five days a week. And if they are involved in sports, we also allow them to change in front of grown adults. We, in some ways are asking for it,

The scandal involving the priest is sickening at best, but we hold some of that responsibility ourselves. We places the parish priest upon pedestals and made them gods in there own rights, we allowed our children to spend the night at the rectory or to go on trips with them. Sure some parents were good friends with the priest, and as the statistics above state 49% of abuse is by someone they know and trust. But do we have to allow the percentage to go up? Do we have to feed in to it?

The problem of abuse is a social problem and it is not a new problem, it is as old as time (article). The Greek society is full of stories of young boys and me, by no means justifying the actions, just pointing out the reality. The issue is social. Contrary to popular belief most people who sexually abuse youth are not gay. As stated above they are mostly family members or close family friends. 

[M]ost men who molest little boys are not gay.  Only 21 percent of the child molesters we studied who assault little boys were exclusively homosexual.  Nearly 80 percent of the men who molested little boys were heterosexual or bisexual, and most of these men were married and had children of their own.27

These scientists have concluded that pedophilia is a separate orientation from homosexuality and that the vast majority of molesters who target boys have either no interest in mature males or are heterosexual men who are attracted to the feminine characteristics of young boys.(source)

Homosexuality and homosexual pedophilia are not synonymous.  In fact, it may be that these two orientations are mutually exclusive, the reason being that the homosexual male is sexually attracted to masculine qualities whereas the heterosexual male is sexually attracted to feminine characteristics, and the sexually immature child’s qualities are more feminine than masculine. . . . The child offender who is attracted to and engaged in adult sexual relationships is heterosexual.  It appears, therefore, that the adult heterosexual male constitutes a greater sexual risk to underage children than does the adult homosexual male.19 .(source)

My over all point to this blog, we need to look at facts and we need to understand what we are dealing with. Sexual abuse of children is not a “Catholic” thing, nor is it a “gay” thing, it is a society thing and one that needs to be understood. The media is not doing its job, rather it is conduction a man hunt, if you will, on Catholics.

As Catholics we need to educate ourselves so we can better defend the Church in these times of turmoil. We need to know facts so we are not just shooting from the hip but rather using facts to fight our cause.  God willing the Church will survive and come out stringer when this persecution is over.

God Bless

Paul

Confronting Power and Sex in the Catholic Church
Galatians 2:20“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”Brought to you by BibleGateway.com. Copyright (C) . All Rights Reserved.
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In the News


This past Sunday we celebrated Christ the King, the end of the Church year. Next week is the first week of Advent, and the start of the new Church year. For anyone that has been to Mass the past few weeks may have noticed that the reading all had something to do with the end of times. But Last week had to do with Christ in his last few hours and he is questioned, and proclaims his kingship. The reading was from the passion of Christ, we all  know it, its the one were Pilot questions Jesus and asks him if He is the King of the Jews. But that is not really what this blog is about, rather it was a comment the priest made during his homily that struck me. Funny how that works, the priest spends 10 minutes talking about the major theme, yet I pick up on one minor point, almost made in passing.

The point…

He was talking about how the newspapers and news outlets all seem to pick up on the negative aspects of the Church, how we seem to make the front page for every minor transgressions, and yes our major ones as well.  Now he was not saying that the media should not cover it, they should and sometimes it’s even warranted. But his complaint was that it was not fairly done. It seems the Catholic Church is singled out over other faiths, often times if a non-catholic church does the same thing the story, if it even makes the papers, will end up hidden in side the paper or not even covered.

This is not a revelation, as a Catholic I am use to the double standard, but the spin the priest put on this never occurred to me.  He went on to say that back in the day, when he was a younger man, many companies in Detroit would hire Catholics, they would seek them out, because they were known to be honest and hard working.

He went on to say that maybe that is why we are singled out by the news media, because we are expected, more than other religions, to be hones and hard working, so when we fail to meet up to this standard, it is big news. Maybe we should look at it as a complement and not a slam.

Interesting, a very positive spin on what can be seen as a very negative story. I like it! We all know that the Catholic faith is not perfect that we sin as individuals and that reflects upon our Church. We know that not all our priest are perfect, that they too can sin, and as we have seen in the past, they do! And yes sometimes the Church herself can sin. Yet we also know that the Church is not truly ours, but it is Christ’s Church. He is the head and we make up the body.  As the many parts of the one body, we also know that some parts my be working harder that other parts, that some parts are truly holy and other parts are in a state of sin. We are a fallen people, and the Church is the Church of the and for the fallen people. Jesus came for the sinners, he ate with them and spent his time with them.

So the next time you read an article or see a news report that is slamming the Catholic Church for one of our many sins, write to them and thank them for pointing out our shortcomings, and thank them for having such a high and pious view of the Catholic church. And let them know that we, the Catholic church, know we are sinners and we are always striving to become a more Holy Church.

Won’t that shock them! And wont that do a great deal to help us all heal and strive to achieve the standard that was set for us, not by the media, but by Jesus himself.

 

Paul

 
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Posted by on November 23, 2009 in advent, Catholic, church, Faith, social justice

 

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5 at a time


I like to read, I like reading Stephen King, Dean Kuntz (only the Odd Thomas stuff) books on the catholic Faith, general spiritual books and as of late political books. The last in the list is new to me, I never read them until last year prior to the election, now I’m hooked.

It was the same way when I started out reading, all through school I hated to read, than one day I read “Catcher in the Rye” and I have never stopped reading, went from J.D. Salinger to Stephen King and on… One of the many strange facts about me is I like to read 4 or 5 books at one time, I’ll have a Stephen King book going, a book by Kuntz maybe a book by Fulton J. Sheen and Wayne Dyer all at the same time along with a few magazines and papers. I love the ability to change directions, to find something that fits my needs at the time. Sometimes the character development of King is what I need and other times it’s some straight talk by Sheen, but what ever it is, I have it at hand.

This method of reading takes time, some books I have been reading for over one year, others last only a few weeks, all depends on my over all needs and the ease of reading. For example I have been reading “An introduction to the Devout life” by St. Francis de Sales for well over a year, i think it’s going on 2 years. And in that same time I have read several King and Kuntz books.

Why such a difference in time, why one book takes me 2 weeks and another 2 years, well it’s not size, Kings are 500 or more pages and The Devout life is just over 200. The disparity in time is due to the depth of reading. When it comes to King, as much as I love his writing and think he is an amazing story teller, in truth the depth is only so deep, St. Francis de Sales on the other hand offers fewer words and, well his story telling is not his strong point, but the depth of each word can make an ocean seem as a kiddy pool. It’s all about processing time and how much my mind can take, and my need at the time of reading. I have devoured faith books as fast if not faster than a King book. It’s all timing and need…

Our faith life is much the same, there should be more than one aspect of our faith life, just as I like to read King and Sheen, two very different styles of writing. King, more a character development, more in to the need to set it all up. King can take one hundred pages to set up an event that only takes ten pages. Some would say over kill, others, like me, would say nope not at all, with in those one hundred pages are the souls of his characters the very essence of there beings. On the other hand, Sheen has the ability to take complex concepts and turn them in to, almost, sill ideas. He has the ability to use the absurd to relay the truths of the faith. It is the multi-faceted aspect of reading 5 books at the same time that invigorates my mind, and it is this same multi-dimensionalness of  faith that invigorates my soul. To challenge my soul to think and love and live in 4 or 5 different ways, all at the same time. To offer up the heart aches and the joys of life all while harvesting the wheat of passion that was sown the year before. To live in the light of Christ and still choose the path, that often times delivers me in to that darkness of lies. To turn the page of defeat in to a page of victory to live out my life in the fullness of the truth as I discover the deeper meaning of my relationship to my God.

Yep, my faith is live a Stephen King book mixed with a little Kuntz and a dash of Sheen. Each offering me a new way to see the light of Christ. A light that will help me to keep on reading my soul…

Paul

 
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Posted by on July 10, 2009 in church, Education, Life, selfhelp

 

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Update and ME Time


I haven’t posted much as of late, it’s been kind of crazy for me, with TONS of stuff to do prior to July 1, but soon, very soon it should calm down for me. Launching a new company and product is very time consuming, but well worth it (I hope!). Setting up the web sites (www.staticplace.com) creating the marketing campaign and designing all the necessary documents, they all take time and effort. And with working a fulltime 9 to 5 type job, I don’t always have time to blog, nor time to do much of anything else.

But I always find “me” time, I always find time to relax and unwind. Yesterday was such a day for me, after work I went home and didn’t take my laptop out all night, I read, watched a little TV and didn’t even think about all the work I still have to do… But today, well most likely a little bit like yesterday. I am to the point were my mind needs to stop thinking about all that I have to do, and I need to rest it up, just a day or 2 and than back to the grind.

I still need to create samples of the program, and finish the websites and place ads in papers and find a sales person or 2 and and and… The list seems to keep adding to itself, seems like every time I think I am done, a new action item is added to the list, but that’s OK, because I know that in the long run it will all be worth the effort. So for today and the next few days I will work work work….

So I just wanted to catch you up a bit on what is going on with me, until next time, make sure you always have a little “ME” time in your week, it’s important to your health, both mentally and physically. I have written on that before, and maybe I will write a little more about it next time…

Paul

 
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Posted by on June 24, 2009 in Change, Control, Faith, Improvement, Life, Self

 

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