The Sound of Electronic Silence

Cover of Sounds of Silence (Exp)

Hello darkness, my old friend
I’ve come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

Sounds Of Silence By: Simon & Garfunkel

The song has an quality to it that makes it seem kind of dark, almost eerie feeling. Some would consider it a depressing song, a song with no hope. But I hear it differently, I hear it as a song of inner peace, a song searching for the meaning of self, the meaning of life, to me it is a song of becoming.

In todays world of connectedness, Wi-Fi and smart phones, we are never to far from being connected to someone or something. In fact we are frightened of being non-connected, of being off the grid as it were. Silence is the “monster under the bed” of many, they fear it, but have no rational reason to do so.

Recently I took a vacation to Koln Germany, I brought my iPad and smart phone, the iPad for reading and checking up on my home via Facebook and the smart phone, just incase I needed to call home. The phone was on, but never used, in-fact a few times it lost its charge, the iPad, well it was on daily, to read the news of the day and to check in on the doings of the two young lads who were watching over my home and pets, and to read. My postings to my Twitter (@paulsposite) and Facebook were at a stand still, and my blogging was put on the back burner. The sound of silence was welcomed, and was filled with real conversations with real people.

Wait, how can I say that, how can the silence be filled with conversation? What do I mean? What the hell am I talking about?

Silence comes in many different flavors, there is, of course, the traditional silence, no sound at all, just the nothingness that surrounds you. This silence is very useful, allowing you to become fully aware of yourself and your surroundings. I have talked about this kind of silence before, the need for it in our lives, even if its just 15 minutes per day, a time to reset and replenish your energy. I have spoken about how Jesus used this time time of silence to hear His Fathers commands and how we need to do the same. But this is not the silence I am referring to today, today I am referring to the digital silence, the silence of electronics. The need to replace the buzz of phones and instant messaging with the hum of humanity.

The world we are living in, is a world of connections, we are connected to each other  in ways we have never seen. We have Facebook friends and Twitter alliances, we instant message each other on our way to be with each other and than continue to message others why we are with each other. We are fearful of being disconnected, we are fearful that we will miss out, we are fearful of the silence of technology.

I love technology, and use it daily, I live on my iPad, I like keeping up with my friends and family and reading the latest news events as they happen, but I also love the down time, the time for me to just sit and be still. When I first got my iPad I was on it every waking hour, posting every  news article I read, and every quote I heard. I felt connected, I felt as if I was contributing to the massive world discussion of politics and current events. I still do post, more than some but less than others, but I have cut back, I have learned lessons and I have become friends with silence once more. Now most nights I post a few things, but for the most part my iPad is closed and away from me. Why the change, why did I give it up, if it was truly something I enjoyed? Simple, the stacks of magazines, books and other stuff that goes unread, the projects that are delayed and the time for silence that is lost. I was replacing all my enjoyment with one thing, the iPad and the net had become my single place of activity. The books I intended to read have collected dust, the magazines I subscribe to have gone unread and in many cases unopened. The projects I have started around the house are 1/2 finished or barley started and all the great plans I have made are just that, plans but no actions.

Is it the fault of the iPad, Facebook or Twitter, nope, its all mine, I allowed them to fill up the silence, I allowed them to take over and become my anti-silence. There is a time and a place for Facebook and Twitter, the iPad offers me many great opportunities to be silent, I have many great books downloaded that I could be reading, I have the ability to work on some of the projects I have started or want to start, its not the fault of technology, but the fault of my use of it.

My To-do list is long, but my actions are short. My personal silent time was lacking, but this is changing. My time in Germany, on my vacation, allowed me to once again remember the quality time I had when I had the time for silence. I remembered that the iPad does not own me, but I own it, I remembered that there is an On and Off switch on it, that if it can be turned on, it can also be turned off. I like that… I think it’s a lesson most of us need to learn, that what can be turned on, The TV, the Radio, the Computer or iPad, MP3 player, all it can also be turned off. The book that is closed can be opened, the magazine that sits there can be picked up. The walk you have been talking about can become reality and the quiet evening spent with good friends over a glass of wine can happen with out the smart phones. Life can exist with out being connected, life did before Wi-Fi and it can do so once again.

We need to re-learn that missing a phone call will not end our life, that not posting our current global position every 15 minutes will not cause the earth to spin off its axis and that our Facebook friends do not really need to know what we are eating or reading or watching every moment of the day. We need to understand that Twitter will still be Twittering with out our little comments and life will go on with or without our input.

The lesson will be hard, we have become so use to posting and tweeting that it almost seems second nature. But life will go on, technology is not the essence of life, this is a hard, true fact.

We need to remember that Wi-Fi cannot replace Face to Face, that Facebook is not the same as “Lets do dinner” and that a tweet is not the same as conversations over a glass of beer. Each have there time and purpose, but one cannot, and should not, replace the other. Reading a good book, be it paper or electronic cannot be replaced by reading the tweets of some celebrity you decided to stalk, and video chatting with your loved ones is not the same as dinner and a movie.

With the Christmas season upon us, maybe we should consider this. Maybe this year when we are buying all our gifts, maybe we could venture out of the electronics department and look in the old fashion game department, you know the ones were you have to sit face to face to play, were you have plastic game pieces and paper money. Or maybe this year when you are planning your Christmas party you could make it a mandatory Electronics Free Zone Party. No Phones, smart or otherwise, no iPads or other Wi-Fi connected devices. Maybe even have a few board games and deck of cards out, maybe you can even communicate directly to each other, you know face to face.. Just a thought….

Look for the opportunities to become electronic free, look for times you can be “Off the Grid” and enjoy the silence of no electronics in your life. Rediscover live that is Twitter free, learn to live a life of no Facebook, even if its for just a few hours per day, make rules for when the smart phones must become silent, establish a time with all OFF buttons must be in use. It can be done, my friends in Germany, they do something very radical, they turn off the power to there modem when they are done using the computer… They disconnect from the grid, and they survived! We can do it, I know we can, besides the benefit of not being connected to the web, you will also save energy… It’s a big step, and I admit, I am not there yet, but I am thinking about it. If I did do that, if I did turn the power off to my modem, not only would I not be able to surf the web, post my amazing input to Facebook, but I would also not be able to watch TV. My TV is run through my computer, I cut the cord and dished the dish years ago. The lack of internet would also turn my iPad into a very expensive e-reader and my books and magazines would become more accessible.

Now its true, its not very hard to turn it back on, but the process takes time, I would have to reboot the computer, log in and make sure all the programs are running that need to be running for my TV to work, to the time it takes would be a deterrent to just turning the TV on because I can. Its something to consider.

Lots to consider…

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

 

Ben Franklin and Leadership

Portrait of Benjamin Franklin (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Leadership is something we hear about all the time, we can attend seminars, read books and articles and even blog post. Everyone seems have the solution to being a leader. To me it seems that the title of the book or workshop seems to be more important that the content of the book or workshop. The key to a multi-million dollar book is the title, not so much the content. Now don’t get me wrong, there are some great books out there on leadership, but really, is there anything we have not already hear, read or seen, is there a new holy grail of leadership quality that we just happen to stumble upon?

Can there really be something we missed? I find it hard to believe, sure there are new challenges to being a leader in the 21st century, we have a world that is connected like never before, we tweet or thoughts the moment we have them and Facebook our likes for all the world to see. We have smart phones and tablets that keep us connected to the grid at all times, allowing us to “lead” at any given moment. We can bark our orders to all with one simple posting and we can “keep tabs” on our team with a few clicks of the mouse.

So sure there are new challenges, but has leadership really changes? New tools for a new world, but is being a leader harder today than 10, 20, 50, 100 or 1000 years ago? I think not, if anything, it should be easier. Think about it… Before the advent of cellphones and the internet leaders had to communicate face to face or through well written letters that would take days, weeks or months to arrive at its destination.

Case and point:

Ben Franklin the American Statesmen who helped define this nation, a founding father and great leader. He could not tweet the French monarchy and ask for help in the American cause, he could not pick up his cell phone and give them a little ring nor text them a question. He had only two options, write a letter and send  it off, on a boat to France or pack up his bags and head there himself. Franklin did both. The letter first, stating his purpose and announcing his arrival and than he himself heading off. This was no 8 hour flight, it was a long and treacherous trip on a ship. Not a modern-day cruse liner, but a wooden vessel with very few comforts we would consider must haves.

The trip is only part of it, a lot could change in the time it took Franklin to travel from America to France, and he had no real way of knowing so. There was not onboard communication device to receive updates on the revolution back home. Franklin was flying blind, or should I say, sailing blind. By the time Franklin arrives in France the fight could have been over, the British could have defeated the rebels and his trip could have been in vane.

Sure, we may have times were we are flying blind, times we may feel as if we are on a ship sailing off to ports unknown, but we are never truly out of the loop, not in todays connected society. We few postings to our Linked In account, a few Google searches and before we know it, we have the latest rumors or tid-bits of information. Franklin had none of this, in fact, by the time he arrives in France, the French would know more about the revolution latest happenings than him.

Franklin would have to update himself once in France, based on old news, for even the “breaking news” in France would have been weeks if not months old. No instant updates or news feeds for Mr. Franklin, he had to use his intuition to read between the lines of the old news and speculate on the news yet to come. No fact checking or quick call to the home office to verify his information, nope, Franklin had to just wait for updates.

Franklin spent months in France, waiting for the perfect moment to ask the King for help, he used his time to learn and plan. His face, his words and actions represented the Face of America to the French.

Leaders today have lost the art of statesmanship, most have lost the art of communication, be it a political leader, corporate or community leader, we expect instant results with instant feedback. Look around you, how many people are attached to there smart phones and tablets. How many are afraid to make any decision on there own, how many do not like to wait, feel lost without being connected to the outside world. Leadership is the ability to think on your own, the ability to think of others, Ben Franklin had to do this on a daily bases, he had to consider the nation with out the latest polls to help him form a decision.

Sure he wrote letters home and waited for the reply, the lattes news on how the fight for independence was going, knowing that the news, at best, was weeks old. His decisions were based on facts that could not be easily verified and checked. Life was different, some would say less complex, less hectic, but was it really?

Leadership is not always being in the know, but sometimes its intuition, the gut feeling or reaction. Great leaders learn to trust themselves and others. The Founding Fathers had to have faith in Franklin, they had to trust that he would represent them well, but also trust that his intuition would serve them and the nation, a nation that was at war, fighting for its very existence.  They had to do it based on blind trust, they had no ability to contact him via phone or text, the written word was all the had, and even that was delayed, old news, by the time it reached him. Our very existence depended on a mans intuition and his ability to be a statesman.

Leadership is not new nor has it really changed, the challenges are timeless and the values are eternal. The tools may have changes, but the underlining principals of leadership are universal and forever-in-a-day. This is why we so often look back in history to find examples of true leadership, Washington, Gandhi, Martian Luther King Jr. and many others. Books have been written and seminars given on the leadership styles od Jesus, the Art of War is still considered on of the best books on leadership, yet we still feel the need to try to separate ourselves, to pretend that our day and age is different, that our circumstances calls for new approaches, yet leadership qualities have not changes, they have remained constant and universal throughout history.

We may label them differently, give them updated descriptions but if you spend the time, look for the root of leadership, you will find that all leadership styles breakdown to the same basics:

-Trust

- In self

-In others

-Intuition, gut feelings

-Commutation

-Listening

-Verbal

-Non-Verbal

-Written

-Faith

-In a greater power

-In Self

-In Humanity

-Action

-When to take action

-When not to take action

Leadership in not new and improved because we have new tools, email, twitter, Facebook and Linked In are tools to allow us to lead, but the basics never change. Leadership is still about others, about placing yourself not at the front, but at the rear, not lifting yourself above others, but lifting others above yourself. A true leader is not elected to power, does not take or steal power, a true leader is elevated, raises naturally and humbled by the power granted to them by the ones they lead. The Founding Fathers understood this, and they lived it.

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

Related articles

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• Leadership and discomfort (claudetoland.com)
• Paul Ryan and Ben Franklin (broeder10.wordpress.com)
• What’s wrong with leadership books? [Andrew Priestley] (ecademy.com)
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My thoughts on Trayvon

Trayvon Martin Protest – Sanford (Photo credit: werthmedia)

Up until now I have not posted about the Trayvon Martin case. I was waiting on facts to come out and hoping for civility. But it seems civility is lost and facts are slow to come. The murder of Trayvon is sad, the murder of any young life is sad, but that does not mean the life of George Zimmerman’s is fair game. We have a nation of laws, and we must follow the laws and allow the laws to work. We cannot and must not allow vigilantly style justice prevail in the case. The American justice system, all-be-it imperfect, is the best system there is. And the death of Trayvon will have its day.

But the rhetoric of many of the left has to stop! We cannot allow the media to create a polarizing political social situation out of Trayvon. MSNBC knowingly edited the 911 tape to make Zimmerman sound racist:

What MSNBC reported:

“This guy looks like he’s up to no good … he looks black,” Zimmerman told a police dispatcher from his car.

 

What Zimmerman said:

ZIMMERMAN: This guy looks like he’s up to no good, [begin ellipsis] or he’s on drugs or something. It’s raining and he’s just walking around, looking about.

911 DISPATCHER: Okay, is this guy, is he white, black, or Hispanic? [end ellipsis]

ZIMMERMAN: He looks black.

Big difference, don’t you think. Look, I don’t know if Zimmerman is a racist or not, but what I do know is that MSNBC went out of there way to portray him as such. And that is wrong! The news is suppose to deliver factual reporting, not make it up to fit there narrative.

We have the New Black Panthers offering a bounty on Zimmerman’s head, dead or alive, we have Spike Lee tweeting an address to what he thought was Zimmerman’s house and others with in the black community adding there own fuel to the fire. How can any of this be helpful? How can any of this be in any way, shape or form, a good thing? We had students ransacking a Walgreens drug store, to show there support and solidarity with Trayvon, really, that’s how we want to keep his memory alive? That is how we want to honor this young mans life, by offering bounty and ransacking drug stores.

To me, a simple white man, I would have to argue that no, that is not the way to honor Trayvon, to me the best way to honor him, let justice prevail, and as a nation, let us look at how we can better understand violence. Let us set up the Trayvon center for understanding. Let us look into how we can help youth let us research ways to stop the youth on youth violence, Let us use Trayvon as a lesson in understanding.

I am not, in anyway suggesting that Trayvon was doing anything wrong on that night, nor am I suggesting that Trayvon was an angel. He was a 17 year old youth who, as it seems, was involved in drugs and as it seems, had issues in school. Does this mean he was a gangster no, but it does me he was not the angel either. Trayvon was a teenager, and like most he was discovering himself, but to show him as this pure and innocent youth is just wrong. Show him as he was, who he was.

Trayvon was 12 in this photo

 

Trayvon is 16 or 17 in this photo

In both photos he is Trayvon, he is a young man who’s life was cut short, and it is sad and I pray for him and his family. But to show the 12 year old Trayvon is miss leading, and it was used to make the narrative stronger. In the day and age of internet searches, it was only a matter of time before other photos of Trayvon show up.

This case will either divide America or unite her. We will either be a black vs. white America or we will be America. I hope and pray that Trayvon will heal America, bring us together and allow his memory to be used as a unifier and not a divider. But I fear it is already to late, I fear that the media and the activist have already created an atmosphere of hatred and revenge. I fear the nation will become more divided as this case moves along, that the eyes and ears of the people have already been tainted and our hearts and souls have been assaulted.

But this is America, and we can learn from this, we can grow and become a better nation, a better people, if we allow it. But the rhetoric, speculation and hatred has to stop! We cannot achieve justice if we close our eyes to facts, what ever they may be.

This is a defining moment in American history, will we move forward or will we move backwards? Will American justice be allowed to work, or will vigilant justice prevail?

One comment I heard that really struck me was this:

“You tell our justice department and Eric Holder and our President Obama to get off up their ass and do the work and the rest is done!” Muhammad went on to say. When pressed by Cooper on the legality, he responded that he could make a citizen’s arrest of Zimmerman, who has not yet been charged for anything, because the New Black Panther Party member doesn’t “obey the white man’s law,” but rather the “street people’s law.” (source)

White mans law? Street people’s law? What is this, I only know of American Law. This kind of statement is made for one reason only, to create hate to make people see red and to insight violence. This has to stop!

I will state here and now, if George Zimmerman is guilty of murder or hate crimes, than he should pay the price, but if not, than he should be left along. Time will tell, and we have to allow the system to work, we can not arrest Zimmerman just because Trayvon happen to be a young black boy, and Zimmerman white. By the way, when did the term white-Hispanic come it to our vocabulary? Oh ya, when it fit the narrative. If the politically correct term for black Americans is African-American, then should it not be  Hispanic-Americans for Hispanics, and not white-Hispanic? See how silly and dangerous this all is. We all allowing the media to create a new group of Americans, the dreaded white-Hispanics, who of course, because they are white first, must hate all blacks, and must be racist. SICK! Just Sick!

I, as a white male, do not hate anyone because of there skin color, in fact I really don’t think I hate at all. I do  very strongly,dislike some people, but not because they are black or yellow but because the are ass’s, they are evil  and hateful. Nothing to do with skin color, everything to do with character.

We need to stop this hatred now, we need to grow up and move on. All the hate talk going on concerning Trayvon is a disgrace to Americans, all Americans regardless of skin color. God willing it will soon end and justice will prevail.

God Bless and Happy Lent

Paul

Guided Insight Life Coach

Related articles

• Trayvon Martin killing raises loaded racial terms (cnn.com)
• George Zimmerman: Victim of Racist Hatred and Liberal Ignorance (thecollegeconservative.com)
• Is Trayvon a “Racial” issue or a “Justice” issue or neigher (onemorecup.wordpress.com)
• Pictures and Prejudice in the Trayvon Martin Case (themoderatevoice.com)
• Limbaugh Warns Audience To Consider Future Racially Divisive Stories Are ‘Manufactured And Made Up’ (mediaite.com)
• The Left’s Trayvon Martin Narrative Falling Apart at the Seams But Obama May Still Get His Race War (nicedeb.wordpress.com)
• Of Michelle Goldberg Part 10: To Her Justice For Trayvon Martin Means Ignoring Facts, Inventing Myths – And Stirring Racism (neosecularist.com)
• Drudge Report: Zimmerman is a Democrat? (donny-wise.com)
• The Trayvon Martin case stirs racial tension, and parents are concerned about the safety of our youth. (shesourrock.com)
• Why the Trayvon Martin killing isnt racist, its the truth. (youngliberalandfat.wordpress.com)
• Zimmerman-Martin It’s not always Race (sacratomatovillepost.com)
• Rick Scott responds to New Black Panther Party “bounty” on Trayvon Martin’s shooter (miamiherald.typepad.com)
• Trayvon Martin Shooting – New Facts vs. Media Bias (marchoftimes.wordpress.com)
• Daily Caller Sees Possible Head Injury In George Zimmerman Police Video (mediaite.com)
• The Trayvon Optics So Far: Less Idealization is a Good Thing (bagnewsnotes.com)
• Is Trayvon Martin Our ‘Bubba Effect?’ (disclose.tv)
• Biography: Trayvon Benjamin Martin (1995-2012) (bazaardaily.com)
• Blood Lust Won’t Bring Justice in the Trayvon Martin Case (usnews.com)
• The Bridge: Racist Dogs On Notice: You Can Not Have Another Trayvon! (bmia.wordpress.com)
• Anderson Cooper and New Black Panther debate the Trayvon Martin case (thegrio.com)
• New Orleans Cop Suspended After Trayvon Rants (newser.com)
• Allen West condemns New Black Panthers for Zimmerman ‘bounty’ (thegrio.com)
• Trayvon Martin Family Attorney Tells Bill O’Reilly: ‘We Are Not Seeking An Eye For An Eye Here’ (mediaite.com)
• Video Shows No Blood, Bruises on Zimmerman (newser.com)
• Trayvon Martin case: Frank Taaffe justified racial profiling that killed Trayvon Martin (thegrio.com)
• Trayvon Martin and Dred Scott (feministphilosophers.wordpress.com)
• What Everyone Should Know About Trayvon Martin (1995-2012) (powersthatbeat.wordpress.com)
• CCTV Of Trayvon Killer Casts Doubt On Scuffle (news.sky.com)
• Zimmerman’s father decries ‘hate’ from Obama, others; says son threatened and beaten by Trayvon (thegrio.com)
• Joe Oliver: Who is Zimmerman’s black friend and chief defender? (thegrio.com)
• Lead Cop Wanted Zimmerman Arrested (newser.com)
• Trayvon’s mother: ‘They’ve killed my son, now they want to kill his reputation’ (thegrio.com)

 

What is your Focus this Lent?

Image via Wikipedia

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Were is your focus this Lent? On you or on Jesus. Lent is not about us, it is not about self-improvement, it is about Jesus, it’s about New Birth, it’s about New Life, it’s about New Perseverance and New Death.

New Birth

[ Praise to God for a Living Hope ] Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,
1 Peter 1:2-4

As a Christian we are a new creation, but more importantly as a Christian we believe that God became man and was born of woman into our humanity. His birth is the source of our New Birth. Because of a Childs Birth, we now have the opportunity to experience our Birth, our New Birth into Christ’s Church, into His Mystical Body.

Lent is a time for us to reflect upon the New Birth, a time to renew our own vigor and a time to dig deeper into our Birthright.  With out the Birth of Christ, we would have no Resurrection, and without our New Birth into the Mystical Body, we would have no hope or joy, no resurrection of our own.

Now I’m not saying that we, like Christ, will rise from the dead, but we will, with Gods grace upon us, experience a sort of resurrection, one of a New life being born within us. 

New Life

Though we are slaves, our God has not forsaken us in our bondage. He has shown us kindness in the sight of the kings of Persia: He has granted us new life to rebuild the house of our God and repair its ruins, and he has given us a wall of protection in Judah and Jerusalem.
Ezra 9:8-10

We are slaves, slaves of our flesh, slaves of our world and slaves of our sin. Yet we have been promised a New Life, a Life of Milk and Honey, a life of Love and Understanding. Yet we still suffer as Christians, we suffer because we are Christians, because we proclaim our Christianity to all. We suffer more for our convictions than we would if we would denounce or hide them. Or, so we think. Our suffering for the sake of Jesus is our joy, our suffering is our cross.

The Cross of Jesus is the symbol of His suffering and death for our sins, but it is so much more. The Cross is not a sign of defeat, of the end of Death, but a sign of Victory, of the New Life, the Resurrection, the Empty Tomb.The surging’s He suffered, the humiliation and abandonment he endured was not for his sake, but for ours. The Cross is the peace sign of the Christian movement, it is the battle cry of our army and the symbol of our nation. The Cross of Christ is our model, our example our map to the New Life.

Lent offers us the time to examine the Cross of Christ, to feel the wood grain and to touch the blood that drips and runs down its hued sided. Lent offers us the Cross not as a symbol but as a reality.

New Perseverance

Therefore, among God’s churches we boast about your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and trials you are enduring.
2 Thessalonians 1:3-5

We understand perseverance, most of us live it. The Church understands perseverance, she is live proof of it. But we only know of earthly perseverance, Jesus knew of Heavenly perseverance. A perseverance the He taught us on the night He was betrayed. He endured for us and triumphed over for us Death. His perseverance was paramount and divine in nature.

Lent offers us a time to experience perseverance of the Heavenly sort. All we need to do is ask our Heavenly Father for the Grace to preserver and to come through this Lenten session a New Creation. TO allow us to shun temptations and linger in the shadow of the Cross. Heavenly Perseverance is attainable for the asking.

New Death

Yet you sweep people away in the sleep of death— they are like the new grass of the morning:
Psalm 90:4-6

Death, for Christians, is not the end, in-fact, for Christians it is only the beginning. Yet our human nature, our fallen understandings define death as an end. Death, of the flesh is such a death, but death of the spirit, there is no such death, to a Christian. For Christ secured for us, upon that Cross, a New Death, a Death in to New Life. A glorious Death, a welcomed Death a Death of everlasting Life.

Look upon the Cross, see with in it the doorway to eternity. Look into the Cross and see beyond it into the glory of Heaven. The Master calling to his own, the Shepard retrieving His sheep. The Cross is our Doorway and the empty tomb is our passage way, Christ as laid out the plan, the road to eternity has been carved out of Calvary and He awaits our arrival.

Lent is a time to explore that road a little bit closer, a time to enter into the Death of our Lord a little deeper and a time to experience a New Death, a Death of the old ways, the way of Sin, a time to be born again, into Christ.

Focus

So, what is your focus for Lent, is it to stop eating candy or to start walking the road to Calvary?

God Bless & Happy Lent

Paul Sposite

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Attitude, you got one?

The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind.

~William James (1842 – 1910)

Attitude…. What a powerful word.

manner, disposition, feeling, position, etc., with regard to a person or thing; tendency or orientation, especially of the mind: a negative attitude; group attitudes. (Source)

Notice the one little section that states “Especially of the mind” our attitude is just that, ours. We control it, it does not (or at least should not) control us. Yet all too often, we allow it to just that, our attitude all too often becomes a commentary on outside forces. We allow forces that we cannot control, friends, work, and weather, to control us. Attitude is not beyond our control, it is within our control, if we would only take control.

I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.

~Martha Washington (1732 – 1802)

Martha Washington, the wife of George Washington lived a hard life. A life of service to her country, a life of war and peace a life that called upon her many times to sacrifice. You will not read it in the history books, but she did. She had to be a woman of great courage and one of positive attitude. She had to be selfless in all she did, for she allowed her husband to go off to war and lead a revolution that, by all accounts, could not be won. She left to take care of the farm. She again offered her husband to our new and struggling nation to attend the constitutional conventions, a thankless and long task, leaving Martha to tend to the family farm, once again. Still more was asked of her, as she and George we honored with the task of becoming the first leader of this Great Nation, no simple task. No, hers was not a life of leisure and pleasure; hers was a life of service and attitude. Yep, Attitude… Martha, based on what I have read of her, was a remarkable woman, one of strong opinions and full of positive attitude. We all can learn a lot from not only George Washington, but his wife Martha as well.

Jesus has something to say about our attitudes as well, He provides us with the Beatitudes as a guide to follow.

• Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. (Verse 3)
• Blessed are the meek: for they shall possess the land. (Verse 4)
• Blessed are they who mourn: for they shall be comforted. (Verse 5)
• Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after justice: for they shall have their fill. (Verse 6)
• Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy. (Verse 7)
• Blessed are the clean of heart: for they shall see God. (Verse 8)
• Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God. (Verse 9)
• Blessed are they that suffer persecution for justice’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. (Verse 10)

(Source)

Reading the Beatitudes can be a hard task, if you do not understand how to read them. If you do not understand the meaning behind them. However, put simply, Jesus is telling us, we are in control or our outlook, our attitudes towards life and self. To the poor He promises the Kingdom, to those that mourn, comfort and so on. But what is He saying? Is Jesus saying that the poor are the only ones to see the Kingdom and the mournful the only ones to receive comfort? Nope, not at all. The poor is not referring to the lack of money, but rather the lack of faith, yet in this lack I should not despair, for Jesus states I will see the Kingdom. So rejoice and be glad, for the Kingdom of God is at hand.

It is our attitude we control, we have the power to see the glass as half full or half-empty, and the Beatitudes are lessons in seeing the glass as half full. What a valuable lesson. A lesson that has been taught over the centuries by many a great teacher, none greater than Jesus, but still many a great teachers. Yet it is a lesson we still need to learn. Knowing that I am poor in Spirit, yet will still see the Kingdom of God does not mean I stop trying to deepen my faith, sit back and just wait, rather it means I double down and study, learn and grow in my spirit, knowing that it will always fall short, but also knowing that Jesus understands, and the Kingdom will still be at hand. That is the power…

Dr. Wayne Dyer states, “Change the way you look at things, and the things you are looking at will change”, so true and so powerful, yet most of us refuse to do so. Changing our outlook, our attitude, is not easy, we have been programmed to accept that this is the way it is, outside forces determine our attitude, and we have no control over it. Such a false understanding, yet it is the understanding the majority of people have. How often I have heard “They can’t help it, that just how they are, that’s who they are”… To state it directly and simply, that’s just bull crap, a cop-out, we all have control of our lives, we all can change out attitudes, our outlook, and determine for ourselves what our future will be. We just have to work at it…

The task is hard, the journey long and the pitfalls will be many, your drive will wane and your ego will protest, but it can be done, you can change your attitude, you can see the glass as half full, if you only work at it. Yes, sometimes I do see that 1/2 empty glass, but in moments like this I know it is my ego driving my attitude and not my soul, not my being. At times like this I step back and breathe deeply, re-focus my thoughts and realign my attitude, and re-image the glass as 1/2 full yet again. It is a mammoth task at times, but the pay-off is always worth the effort. The feeling of control over the ego, the knowledge that I am in control on myself are well worth the effort.

Attitude, you got one. I am sure you do, but the bigger question is, Attitude, you like the one you got? Is it a healthy attitude? Does it contribute to your overall happiness or is it a source of depression and discontentment? Try this, try taking an attitude assessment, simple write down your attitude towards things, family, work, life, politics, religion, faith, money and so on, rate them based on a 1 to 10 scale, 1 being extremely bad attitude and 10 being extremely positive attitude. Once you have completed this, look at your list, anything with a 6 or more score, consider good for now. Everything with a five or below score consider as areas that need improvement. Start with the 5’s, pick one, let us say its Job, and create an action plan to help you change your attitude. What can you do to create a new and better attitude concerning your current job? To help with this, write down all the aspects of your job that seems to be the source of your bad attitude. Look at each one and determine what action you can take to rectify this. It may be as simple as having a conversation with your boss or as complex as having to try and be transfers to a new department. Nevertheless, whatever the solution, whatever the problem, remembers you are in control of your attitude, no one else is!

Once you have fixed the first on your list continue through the rest of the list, and before you know it, your attitude will be better. However, your work is not done yet, nope… Because you know that, your coworker or whatever the source off your discontentment was will not just roll over and play dead. So now, you need to learn tools to help you cope with issues that will pop up. Best advice, find a saying or prayer that you like, one that reminds of your ultimate goal, a more positive and productive attitude, make a copies of it, place on all your office wall, put one in your purse or wallet, tape one to your bathroom mirror and one on your car visor. Frame one to hang in your hall, in other words place this reminder all over the place, so when the need arrives, just look at, read it and take a step back to contemplate it. Refocus your thoughts and realign your attitude. It takes practice, but it can be done.

 

Good luck and God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

(Something to read, and help you with your attitude)

Related articles

• Blessed: One Thousand Gifts #229-240 (graceformymess.com)
• Poor in spirit; great in reward (lifereference.wordpress.com)
• What does it mean to be blessed? Scripture for Nov. 6 (plymouthspirit.wordpress.com)
• Seeking the Kingdom of God (apmadriaga.wordpress.com)
• The Beatitudes of Jesus (#8) (theupwardcallofgod.wordpress.com)
• The Sermon on the Mount (brakeman1.wordpress.com)
• Can a Camel fit through a Needle? (christianpf.com)
• FEAST of ALL SAINTS DAY / leonard oprea – THE WAY OF THE NINE BEATITUDES (magultheophil.wordpress.com)
• What Can I Say? (earthismyclassroom.wordpress.com)
• Jesus Teaching of the Beatitudes Was a Lesson in How to Be Blessed (vineandbranchworldministries.com)

 

How to Achieve your Goals and Create your own Mount Rushmore

Image via Wikipedia

Our ability to succeed is truly all up to us. We are the masters of our own destiny, and we decide if we fail or not. All to often we allow others to decide for us, we listen to the negative inputs from others, allowing that cancer of negativity to eat away at our resolve. As Abraham Lincoln stated:

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.
Abraham Lincoln (1809 – 1865)

It is our own resolution that will determine our own outcome. We must work hard and over come what ever obstacles are put in our way. Sure, it make be hard work, it may take time, sometimes it takes a life time, or even longer. Think Mount Rushmore

Between October 4, 1927, and October 31, 1941, Gutzon Borglum and 400 workers sculpted the colossal 60 foot (18 m) high carvings of U.S. presidents George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln to represent the first 150 years of American history. (Source)

The size and scope  of the project

Mount Rushmore National Memorial is a sculpture carved into the granite face of Mount Rushmore near Keystone, South Dakota, in the United States. Sculpted by Danish-American Gutzon Borglum and his son, Lincoln Borglum, Mount Rushmore features 60-foot (18 m) sculptures of the heads of former United States presidents (in order from left to right) George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln.^[1] The entire memorial covers 1,278.45 acres (5.17 km²)^[2] and is 5,725 feet (1,745 m) above sea level.^[3]  (Source)

So what is your Mount Rushmore, what project do you have that is monumental in nature that will leave a lasting impression on all? We all have our own Mount Rushmore’s, we all have something inside of us that is striving to get out, to breath and to become a life unto itself. But are we, are you and I, willing and able to be resolved to complete the project. Can we bear the hard work, can we blast away the old rock and carve out a new face?

If you wish success in life, make perseverance your bosom friend, experience your wise counselor, caution your elder brother and hope your guardian genius.Joseph Addison (1672 – 1719)

All to often we do not, all to often we give in, so what can you and I do to change this destructive pattern? Glad you asked:

• Know the goal:  Before you can even start to work on the goal, you have to know the goal. I don’t mean just a basic idea of what you want, like “I want to sell stuff on eBay” No that’s not knowing your goal, that’s naming it, but to achieve it, you have to know it intimately. Research it, live with it, understand it, both good and bad points. Know it like you know yourself.

The reason most people never reach their goals is that they don’t define them, or ever seriously consider them as believable or achievable. Winners can tell you where they are going, what they plan to do along the way, and who will be sharing the adventure with them.

Denis Watley

•  Count every step: Everything you do towards your goal is an accomplishment, count them, plot your progress, celebrate your success.

“Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It’s quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure. You are thinking of failure as the enemy of success. But it isn’t at all. You can be discouraged by failure or you can learn from it, So go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because remember that?s where you will find success.”
- Thomas J. Watson

• Look at setbacks as resets: Setbacks are an opportunity to start over, in building Mount Rushmore they planned on building in a completely different location, but due to the quality of the poor stone, they reset, reevaluated and relocated.

People who make money often make mistakes, and even have major setbacks, but they believe they will eventually prosper, and they see every setback as a lesson to be applied in their move towards success.
Jerry Gillies

• Learn and keep on learning: Learning can never be a onetime thing, no matter the goal, there is always something new, some new research, new considerations or new insights. Keep a journal of your learning, tack it and reread it often.

What is important is to keep learning, to enjoy challenge, and to tolerate ambiguity. In the end there are no certain answers.Martina Horner, President of Radcliffe College

• Accept: Accept that sometimes the goal we want is not the goal we achieve. Think Post it Notes:

Everyone knows what Post-it® notes are: They are those great little self-stick notepapers. Most people have Post-it® Notes. Most people use them. Most people love them. But Post-it® Notes were not a planned product.

No one got the idea and then stayed up nights to invent it. A man named Spencer Silver was working in the 3M research laboratories in 1970 trying to find a strong adhesive. Silver developed a new adhesive, but it was even weaker than what 3M already manufactured. It stuck to objects, but could easily be lifted off. It was super weak instead of super strong.

No one knew what to do with the stuff, but Silver didn’t discard it. Then one Sunday four years later, another 3M scientist named Arthur Fry was singing in the church’s choir. He used markers to keep his place in the hymnal, but they kept falling out of the book. Remembering Silver’s adhesive, Fry used some to coat his markers. Success! With the weak adhesive, the markers stayed in place, yet lifted off without damaging the pages. 3M began distributing Post-it ® Notes nationwide in 1980 — ten years after Silver developed the super weak adhesive. Today they are one of the most popular office products available. (source)

One last thought:

Before you begin a thing, remind yourself that difficulties and delays quite impossible to foresee are ahead. If you could see them clearly, naturally you could do a great deal to get rid of them but you can’t. You can only see one thing clearly and that is your goal. Form a mental vision of that and cling to it through thick and thin.Kathleen Norris

So what ever your goal, what ever your dream, be diligent and know that only you can stop yourself from creating your own Mount Rushmore.

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach 

  Related articles

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Open Letter to the State of Michigan Government

Image via Wikipedia

January 24, 2012

State of Michigan Government

Lansing Michigan

Honorable Representatives:

I write this open letter for several reasons, but mostly because of my deep love and pride in my state. I am a Michigander from birth, and God willing I will die in my home state. But this letter is not about why I love Michigan, nor is it about where I wish to die. Rather it is about my beloved home state succumbing to a slow death.

Much progress has been made this past year, but much is still needed. The underlying issues need to be addressed and a new perspective needs to be viewed. The social and political nature of this great State needs to be addressed and reworked. The morality of our State needs to be realigned and the priorities need adjusting.

Many of the issues are outside of the government’s direct control, such as morality and social issues. But the government can and does have influence on the overall tone of the state. It is the states responsibility to care for and be concerned with the betterment of her population. The citizenry of this great State is, to some extent, dependent upon the government, and the tone with which the seat of power sets is by default, the tone of her citizens.

We, being a vast and diverse society, have many views and opinions on many social issues. No one governmental body will ever please the complete and complex citizenry. Nor is it the responsibility of the government to do so. Rather, it is the responsibility of the government, in concern to social issues, to set the tone of this great state. To pass laws and resolutions that protect her citizens from harm and to provide the ability to succeed, be it in business, education or home life.

All to often we, the citizen, become dependent upon the Government, developing a entitlement mentality, placing undue burden and request upon our elected officials. For this, I am sorry. The predicament this must place you in, as servants of the public interest, must be, at times, unbearable. Yet, the responsibility in not totally that of your constituents, you, the elected, have a responsibility to educate us, your public and advocate for sound laws that will help us, not make us dependent. That responsibility falls on you and you alone. We, the citizens, have no ability to neither write nor enact laws; this is your responsibility, why you were elected.

The sad fact that many politicians, not only in the Great State of Michigan, but nationally, vote for reelection is a gross miss use of the powers granted to them, thru the trust of their constituents. Laws being brokered and passed, not based on what is best for the state or even the district they represent, but rather being passed to purchase votes. This practice is a sad commentary on the current state of affairs, not only in Michigan but nationally.

The current House and Senate along with the Governor have the opportunity to correct this, to set a new tone for the seat of power and the citizenry. You, ladies and gentleman of distinction and make a difference, put aside political parties, egos and votes. Look deeply into your hearts and souls and vow to fix that with is broken. Revamp the current social welfare of this state, re-invent the schools and invigorate the citizenry. Pass laws that return responsibilities to the people, making us, the citizens, responsible for our own actions and return power to the local governments allowing to community to care for themselves.

If we look at history, we look to the past generations to live and thrive in this state; we will see a theme, a theme of hard work, personal responsibility and ingenuity. We can read about Henry Ford and his ability to overcome many setbacks he faced, yet he faced them and found creative ways, without government hand outs, to overcome and create Ford Motor Company. We can read about the founding of this great state, the hardships and triumphs of our founders. We can look back to the heritage of Michiganders and see courage and strength, a no-nonsense attitude that created one of the Greatest States this Great Nation has ever known. But we can also look back and see the blemishes upon this state, the 67 riots the demise of the auto industries and the political scandals.

Each and every event has the power to uplift or tear down; the choice is ours and ours alone. We cannot and should not allow the National media define us. Yet we do, and we fall to the standards they set for us. We, as a state need to lift ourselves up and set our own standards, standards that raise the bar high, standards that are truly Michigan in nature, Standards that our fore Fathers would be proud of. Alas, we fail to do this, we choose to allow ourselves to tumble and fall the lowest common denominator, the public opinion of Michigan set by the outsiders, not by Michiganders.

But all is not lost, you, the Senate, House and Governor have the power to help set a new course for Michigan. You can help to set the new narrative that will define this Great State. You can help reshape and redirect Michigan. The citizens will do their part, we will be partners in this. But first we must know, we must feel, that you, our elected, are doing what is right and just, not doing what gets the most votes. Sure, you may not win reelection, but you will have lost knowing you have done the right thing.

Let’s start today, let’s work hard to recreate and reinvent Michigan.

God Bless you and the work you do

Paul W. Sposite

A proud citizen of the Great State of Michigan

 

Could Boys Town work today? And other thoughts on Charity and Social Justice.

Cover of Boys Town

‎“What’s “just” has been debated for centuries, but let me offer you my definition of social justice: I keep what I earn and you keep what you earn. Do you disagree? Well then, tell me how much of what I earn “belongs” to you — and why?”
– Walter Williams

Williams was born into an AfricanAmerican family. His family during childhood consisted of himself, his mother, and his sister. His father played no role in raising either child.^[3] He grew up in Philadelphia. The family initially lived in West Philadelphia, moving to North Philadelphia and the Richard Allen housing projects when Williams was ten. His neighbors included a young Bill Cosby. Williams knew many of the individuals that Cosby speaks of from his childhood, including Weird Harold and Fat Albert.^[4]

Williams was a talented high school student who displayed a very inconsistent performance in his studies. Following high school he came out to stay with his father in California, and attended one semester at Los Angeles City College, in regard to which he would later state that he was not ready yet to be a serious student.^[5] In 1959 he was drafted into the military, and served as a Private in the United States Army.^[4][6] While serving in the Army, he “waged a one man battle against Jim Crow from inside the army (where he was nearly court-martialed for challenging the racial order).”^[4] Williams:

wrote a letter to President John F. Kennedy denouncing the pervasive racism of the American government and military. “Should Negroes be relieved of their service obligation or continue defending and dying for empty promises of freedom and equality,” Williams demanded of the president. “Or should we demand human rights as our Founding Fathers did at the risk of being called extremists….I contend that we relieve ourselves of oppression in a manner that is in keeping with the great heritage of our nation.”^{[4]  (Link)}

^{The above article, or at least part of the article from Wikipedia and the beginning quote should be an inspiration to all Americans, it talks of Faith, faith in the American system, faith in self and faith in humanity. It talks of self-reliance and justice, not handouts and welfare.  It talks about picking yourself up and taking care of business, your business, and not relaying on the government to do it for you. I like that!}

^{So what is “just”?}

^{As a Catholic, social justice is a huge part of my faith, we have Bishops and everyday pew sitters working on this issue daily, we have documents coming from the Vatican and our local Church. I could spend hours reading and re-reading the documents, many of them online and available for free. I can read the words of many a great men, saints and some not so saintly. But in the end, I think that simple quote above states it very distinctly:}

^…I keep what I earn and you keep what you earn. Do you disagree? Well then, tell me how much of what I earn “belongs” to you — and why?”

 

^{That about states it all… Now I can hear everyone asking, what about the poor, who is going to help them… We need to take and give to them.. True, I agree, you are correct. But… And this is a big but… It’s not the government’s job to decide who or what charities I want to support, it is not the governments job to decide how much is too much. That my friends, it totally up to me… That is “just”.}

^{Humanity will, if allowed, care for herself. In the United Stated we have proven this, prior to big government stepping in, it was left to the local communities to care for one another, and they always did. During the many recessions and depressions this country has gone through, the local community always cared for their own. As it should be. The “Great Society” and the “New Deal” and all other forms of Social Engineering has done nothing to change the simple fact that we will always have the poor. But what it has done is created a whole generation that is now dependent upon the government to fix and provide for all there needs. No longer is it a community coming together, but now it laws and regulations and dependency.}

^{The local out reach programs, Faith based community services and alike are now governed by the Federal Government, bogged down with regulations and paperwork that much of there “good deeds” go undone due to lack of resources to meet the ever-expanding hands of Big Brother. Prior to the government handing out the tax payers money, the local community gathered its resources from the community itself, depended on the community and thrived with in the community it served.}

^{The Catholic church was the prominent provider in many communities, depending upon the Church and the community at large to provide free services to whomever needed them, regardless of their faith. Look at Boys Town as a perfect example. Fr. Flanagan did not ask the Federal Government for moneys to build his Town, nope, he depended upon the common person to send in donations, and the work of building the town, well that was left up the him and the boys. In todays “regulated” world this could never happen, the government would not allow the young men who made up the community of Boys Town to do the labor, they would consider it “degrading” and “child labor”, were as Fr. Flanagan and his boys considered it “Character building” and “Edifying” . How times have changed.}

^{The government would have required trained social workers were as Fr. Flanagan required love and respect. There is not law or regulations for love and respect, so the government would not consider them to be important. How times have changed…}

^{“Charity” and “Social Justice” and not be regulated or forced, they have to be organic in nature. they have to come from the souls of the ones offering. When government sticks its hands into our pockets and forces us to “give” the act of Charity and Justice has just become an act of redistribution and extortion.}

^{In the books “Who Really Cares” and “Gross National Happiness”} Arthur C. Brooks, the author, makes the case that charity is a human act, not a governmental act. That it is the benevolence of man and not the redistributionist of government that keeps charities rolling. Both books are well worth the reading.

The Catholic Church, like many organization, has its fair share of redistributionist, who feel that humanity in-of-its-self is not able or capable of caring for each other. To me this is a travesty and a slap in the collective face of man kind! But, truth be told, we allowed this mind-set to happen, we, as a nation have become “dependent” upon the government to not only govern our national affairs, but also our personal affairs.

A return to a simpler time, a time when communities cared for each other, relied upon each other and depended upon their neighbors was when true social justice existed in this nation. We now live in a nation of not social justice, but a nation of social engineering, other wise know as socialism, tyranny or any other work to describe personal liberties and personal responsibilities being replaced by group think. We are teaching our children not to depend upon themselves and the community at large, but rather to look to and depend upon the government. We have generations of Americans that have no concept of charity and giving, of time, talent and treasure. But we do have generations of Americans who understand the concepts of give me, I deserve and “fairness”. Using the term “fairness” not as it was meant, “Equal opportunity” but rather as “Equal treasures” regardless of effort put forth.

The America of pre-New Deal and The Great Society is not yet lost, but is quickly becoming so. We have the opportunity and obligation to change the course of this great nation. To right the wrongs and return American and her citizens back to personal responsibility and community minded obligations. We have a unique opportunity in America, the opportunity to wage a revolution with our guns and blood, a revolution that uses the most powerful weapon ever know to man, the vote. This November we must vote to return America back to Americans, to restore Charity and Social Justice back to the people. It is time to take up the mantel of liberty and forge a new path to prosperity by returning to the founding principles of this great nation. Principles spelled out in our founding documents, the Constitution and Declaration of Independence. Documents that outline the path to prosperity and freedom, documents that never, not once, call upon the Government to care for the personal lives of its Citizenry. But rather call upon its Citizenry to care for the Government.

God Bless

Paul

Guided Insight Life Coach 

 

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What Fred Astaire can teach you about New Year Resolutions

Image via Wikipedia

When working on your New Year Resolution this year, try this. Instead of just relying on your will power, try relying on your will power plus a little extra help. Be it from friends or family, support groups, ministers or other religious leaders. There is no shame in asking or seeking help, support and just a shoulder to lean on. From time to time we all just need some one to lean on…

But there are other tools you can use to help you along your way to a new and improved 2012 model. You can also try journaling, an excellent way to track your progress. Journals can be online like here at www.wordpress.com or they can be just a document on your computer, or… you can do it the old fashion way, paper and pencil…. I think they still sell them… For $2 you can get a pack of pencils and a journal at your local dollar store, and be on your way to a new you. I recommend both, the online journal to allow the world to be your support group and the paper/pencil way for your most personal thoughts and observations.

Here is a list of things you should consider before you even start your resolution:

• Have you planned out how your going to accomplish it?
• Did you look at the pros & cons?
• Did you consider who this will affect?
• Have you make a series of smaller goals to help you gain your larger goal?
• Did you write your goal down somewhere? (This helps make it concrete)
• Have you prayed on it and asked for guidance?

Making a resolution to change your life for the better is not easy, remember you will have set backs, and that’s ok, when you do have a set back do as Fred Astaire recommends when he sang  “just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again”

Nothing comes easy that is good for you, and New Year Resolutions are not easy, for most of us. It takes work, practice and resolve. Look to others for support, but find the strength in yourself, it is there, we all have it, it’s just a matter of finding it.

Good luck and God Bless

Paul

www.guidedinsightlifecoach.com

A life Coach is a good way to get that little extra help you need to become the you that you know you are. To find out more visit www.guidedinsightlifecoach.com

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Why New Years Resolutions fail… And what you can do about it…

For last year’s words belong to last year’s language
And next year’s words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.

~T.S. Eliot, “Little Gidding

Good words to start the New Year with. It never fails to amaze me, all the work-up to the year’s end. Truly I don’t get it, new beginnings happen daily, they are in our hands, we choose when to start and when to stop. The New Year is not a magical time, nothing special or unique happens at the stroke of 12, except maybe this:

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.

~P.J. O’Rourke

But in truth, going from December 31st to January 1st is no different from going from March to April, or Monday to Tuesday. Maybe this is why so many resolutions made on January first fail, we put too much hope and magic into the day. My resolutions are on going and at times ever-changing, I believe in constant change, creating anew continually. The process of change is not magic, you can’t order a new you off a late night TV commercial or schedule an operation to achieve the desired results. There is no magic outside of yourself and God. And we don’t call that magic, we call it faith and grace.

The resolution you made last year, you know the one where you wear going to drop that extra 30 pounds, or the one wear you were going to be a kinder nicer person. How’s that going for you? I am sure some have achieved their goal, but I would venture to guess that a large majority did not.

Sure it lasted a few days, maybe even a month or two, but soon enough it was forgotten about, became to hard or complicated, or it just wasn’t the right time, too much going on in life. Sure, I now the excuses, I used them and sometimes still do. The to much going on and not the right time are two of my favorites for not quitting smoking. But years ago I discovered something, no matter how many times or how sincere I was on New Years eve with my resolution, I always failed. No matter what.. It always seemed that the magic of the night did not translate into the magic of the year. But why?

Because reality sets in, the good feelings, induced by the night, the hoopla and drink seems to wear off by mid-day, and what’s left, LIFE.

So what can I do about it, how do we change this, we don’t, we can’t, so enjoy the night, enjoy the magic why it last, but know one thing, come January 2nd, life returns just like it was December 30th… The magic is gone and reality is back.

But you can make changes to your life, it is possible to create a new you, but there is no magic, only perseverance and hard work. Faith and the grace of God will take you through it.

Here is a short lift of things to help you on your journey:

1. Make your resolutions/goals achievable
2. Create a series of “small” goals that will lead to the “larger” goal
3. Celebrate each small goal achieved
4. Learn from each failed goal, and you will have them
5. Never give up
6. Pray for guidance and grace
7. Look for support from others
8. Read for inspiration and support
9. Keep a journal of your Journey
10. Seek Help when needed

And the number one thing never to forget:

You have the power to change, the choice is yours, no one else can do it for you, no doctor, no family member, no counselor. Yes, all of them can help you along your path, but in the end only you can change you…

God Bless

Paul

www.guidedinsightlifecoach.com