I was Raised in a Home…

I was born and raised in a home that thought respect was a good thing, that children showed respect to their elders, at all times, regardless of what the child thought of them.

I was raised in a home where manners was a requirement to eat at the dinner table, for everyone, guest included.

I was raised in a home were we, the children, understood that the adults had more privileges than us, that they, the adults, earned it, and we had not.

I was raised in a home were No meant No, where crying, pouting and other such behavior only made things worse.

I was raised in a home were good grades were expected, not rewarded and bad grades were punished not excused.

I was raised in a home with one TV that my mom and dad controlled, and we, the kids were privileged to use it, and that privilege could be taken away at anytime.

I was raised in a home were the car was something you asked permission to borrow, unless you bought your own, and even than the privilege to drive that car, or any other car could be striped away.

I was raised in a home were the parents were the parents, not the best friends, were the law of the land was at the discretion on said parents, not up for discussion. The parents ran the household, not the children, the parents enforced the rules, not the child and the parent had first, second and last say in all matters concerning my upbringing until I moved out of the house.

I was raised in a loving home with two parents who fought and argued and sometimes made mistakes. They sometimes punished when it was not fair they sometimes refused to understand my side and they sometimes just had not time for my little boy concerns, they had adult concerns. They had the bills to pay and the other 4 siblings to look after. They had the car repairs to look after and the groceries to buy. Sometimes my major life event was just to hard for them to see or understand.

I was raised in a home were sometimes my parents forgave me to quickly or overlooked my faults, were sometimes they put aside their concerns for the bills and food, just to spend time with me on the floor playing or going for a walk in the snow. Sometimes they saw no one but me.

I was raised in a home with understanding and misunderstanding under the same roof, were pride and disappointment could be seen side-by-side and were love was found in the smile of my frustrated parents.

I was raised in a home were the problems of the house hold, the adult problems, were not shared, the burden was not unloaded upon my shoulders, were the concerns of finding the money was never mine.  Were the house payment or loss of a job was dealt with in the wee hours of the night, with the children sleeping soundly.

I was raised in a home were childhood was nurtured and allowed to grow, were Santa existed and the back yard was window into the world of imagination.

My parents were not perfect, I was not perfect nor were my brothers and sisters, we were, simply put, a family learning how to live and grow with each other. I grew up knowing that I will not get everything I ask for, everything I want, but I will always have everything I need. The latest pair sneakers were a want, not a need, and I learned this lesson early in life. Were the lessons always painless, no, sometimes my little mind could not grasp the value at hand, what did I know of house payments or layoffs, this was not my concern as a child, it was the concern of my parents and there friends. Hard or easy, the lesson was there, and I am sure, more often than not, it was harder for my parents than for me.

This blog was to be about the problem with youth today, all the violence and just plain bad attitude, it was to offer a solution to the problem, to help find creative ways to deal with youth gone wild. The first few I was raised lines were to be lead-ins to the issues facing parents and communities, but like all good blogs, this one has a mind of its own, and turned into a tribute to my childhood, my parents and how I was raised.

Life was not perfect, my dad was laid off a few times from the automotive industry, we struggled to survive and we had our good and bad moments. I remember eating raw potato’s as a snack, I though nothing of it as a kid. I love them, little did I know it was because my parents could not afford the chips and other junk food my friends had. To me, a raw potato with salt was as good, if not better than a bag of chips. I still love them today. My parents didn’t bother us kids with such things, if we did ask such question pertaining to bills or other money concerns we were told, more often than not, that it was none of our concerns. We did not know nor understand the struggles and sacrifices our parents made, I, for I cannot speak for my siblings, never knew we had money concerns I just knew that the shoes I really wanted were too much, so I had to get the off brand ones, and I never had an issue with that, to me they were all the same.

A parents job is to provide and protect, to provide food, shelter and love and to protect us from harm as best they can. There job is not to give us our every want, to shower us with gifts or money, their job is not to treat us like little adults and burden us with adult sized issues. Our shoulders are not broad enough to hold such a load.

I was raised in a home of imperfections and blemishes, were wrong was sometimes right and yes was sometimes no.

I was raised in a home… A home that I am proud to call my own, a home that my parents built, not out of brick and stone, but out of love and concern. Our walls may not have been perfect, the floors may have creaked and yes, sometimes the wind may have blown through the cracks and crevasses. This home was in Detroit and The Irish Hills, it was in Clinton and Ann Arbor, it was in Canton and Westland and now it is with in me. My parents where not perfect and our home was lived in many houses, but it was always home.

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

 

My Detroit

Augustus Woodward’s plan following the 1805 fire for Detroit’s baroque styled radial avenues and Grand Circus. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’m a Detroiter, I was born in the city, and I love the city. I no longer live in Detroit, I now live about 30 minutes outside of the city, but still consider myself a Detroiter. It pains me to hear negative news stories of Detroit, but it seems that’s all we ever hear. Murder, Rape, miss use of Government powers, Kids killing Kids, Drugs and other horrid actions. It saddens me when I do venture to the City to see all the majestic buildings and homes is shambles to see the empty lots filled with trash and the parks and streets empty of life.

Detroit is a shell of its former self, many do not know the true Detroit, they only know the current Detroit. The one that is on a path to self destruction, the one that fills the national news with murder and deception. Detroit is more than that, Detroit has 300 years of history, of pride and accomplishments. No, not just Cars and Motown, but Art and Architecture, Culture and Innovation. Detroit is a city of many first, The first expressway, phone book and more. Detroit is not what you think she is, she is a diamond in the ruff.

Detroit…

• is home to the Motown sound founded by Berry Gordy Jr. in 1957

• is home to the first Van Gogh painting in a public collection in the U.S. at the Detroit Institute of Arts, "Self Portrait," Vincent Van Gogh, 1887

• installed the first mile of paved concrete road, just north of the Model T plant, on Woodward Avenue between McNichols and 7 Mile Roads in 1909

• built the nation’s first urban freeway, the Davison, in 1942

• is home to the oldest state fair in the nation — the Michigan State Fair, first held in 1849

• is the potato chip capital of the world, based on consumption

• has country’s largest island park within a city — Belle Isle Park

• is home to the world’s only floating post office, the J.W. Westcott II, can be found on the Detroit River

• is north of Canada

• is second in the nation in fishing rod sales

• shares the world’s first auto traffic tunnel between two nations – the Detroit/Windsor Tunnel

• is home to the tallest hotel in the Western Hemisphere – the Detroit Marriott Renaissance Center, at 727 feet/73 stories

• the nation’s first soda — Vernors — created in Detroit by pharmacist James Vernor in 1862. Detroit is also home to Sanders hot fudge, Better Made Potato Chips, Faygo soda pop, Stroh’s Ice Cream

• has the most registered bowlers in the United States

• was the first city in the nation to assign individual telephone numbers in 1879

History of Detroit

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Ste. Anne de Détroit, founded in 1701 is the second oldest continuously operating Roman Catholic parish in the United States. The present Gothic Revival cathedral styled church was completed in 1887 and serves a largely Hispanic community.^[1][2]

The city of Detroit, Michigan, developed from a French fort and missionary outpost founded in 1701 to one of the largest American cities by the early 20th century. As reflected by the emblems on its flag, Detroit has been governed by three world powers: France, Great Britain, and the United States. The city, settled in 1701, is one of the oldest cities in the Midwest. Detroit experienced a large scale fire in 1805 which nearly destroyed the city. After the fire, Justice Augustus B. Woodward devised a plan similar to Pierre Charles L’Enfant‘s design for Washington, D.C. Detroit‘s monumental avenues and traffic circles fan out in a baroque styled radial fashion from Grand Circus Park in the heart of the city’s theater district, which facilitates traffic patterns along the city’s tree-lined boulevards and parks.^[3] Main thoroughfares radiate outward from the city center like spokes in a wheel.

During the 19th century, Detroit grew into a thriving hub of commerce and industry, the city spread along Jefferson Avenue, with multiple manufacturing firms taking advantage of the transportation resources afforded by the river and a parallel rail line. Beginning in the late 19th and early 20th century, many of the city’s Gilded Age mansions and buildings arose. Detroit was referred to as the Paris of the West for its architecture, and for Washington Boulevard, recently electrified by Thomas Edison.^[1]

Following World War II, the Detroit area emerged as a global business center with the metropolitan area becoming one of the largest in the United States. The Detroit area is the second largest U.S. metropolitan area linking the Great Lakes system. Immigrants and migrants have contributed significantly to Detroit’s economy and culture. In the 1990s and the new millennium, the city has experienced increased revitalization. Many areas of the city are listed in the National Register of Historic Places and include National Historic Landmarks.

Beginnings

The first recorded mention of what became Detroit was in 1670, when the French Sulpician missionaries François Dollier de Casson and René Bréhant de Galinée stopped at the site on their way to the mission at Sault Ste. Marie.^[4] Galínee’s journal notes that near the site of present-day Detroit, they found a stone idol venerated by the Indians and destroyed the idol with an axe and dropped the pieces into the river. Early French settlers planted twelve missionary pear trees "named for the twelve Apostles" on the grounds of what is now Waterworks Park.^[5]

Statue of French officer Antoine de la Mothe Cadillac commemorating his 1701 landing along the Detroit River.

Siege of Fort Detroit during Pontiac’s Rebellion in 1763.

The British surrender, following the American Siege of Detroit during the War of 1812.

The city name comes from the Detroit River (French: le détroit du Lac Érie), meaning the strait of Lake Erie, linking Lake Huron and Lake Erie; in the historical context, the strait included Lake St. Clair and the St. Clair River.^[6] Traveling up the Detroit River on the ship Le Griffon (owned by La Salle), Father Louis Hennepin noted the north bank of the river as an ideal location for a settlement. There, in 1701, the French officer Antoine de la Mothe Cadillac, along with fifty-one additional French-Canadians, founded a settlement called Fort Ponchartrain du Détroit, naming it after the comte de Pontchartrain, Minister of Marine under Louis XIV. Ste. Anne de Détroit, founded July 26, 1701, is the second oldest continuously operating Roman Catholic parish in the United States and the church was the first building erected at Fort Ponchartrain du Détroit.^[1][2][7][8]

France offered free land to attract families to Detroit, which grew to 800 people in 1765, the largest city between Montreal and New Orleans.^[9] Francois Marie Picoté, sieur de Belestre (Montreal 1719–1793) was the last French military commander at Fort Detroit (1758–1760), surrendering the fort on November 29, 1760 to British Major Robert Rogers (of Rogers’ Rangers fame and sponsor of the Jonathan Carver expedition to St. Anthony Falls). The British gained control of the area in 1760 and were thwarted by an Indian attack three years later during Pontiac’s Rebellion. The region’s fur trade was an important economic activity. Detroit’s city flag reflects this French heritage. (See Flag of Detroit).^[1]

The City of Detroit (from Canada Shore), 1872, by A. C. Warren

During the French and Indian War (1760), British troops gained control and shortened the name to Detroit. Several tribes led by Chief Pontiac, an Ottawa leader, launched Pontiac’s Rebellion (1763), including a siege of Fort Detroit. Partially in response to this, the British Royal Proclamation of 1763 included restrictions on white settlement in unceded Indian territories. Detroit passed to the United States under the Jay Treaty (1796). In 1805, fire destroyed most of the settlement. A river warehouse and brick chimneys of the wooden homes were the sole structures to survive.^[10]

Father Gabriel Richard arrived at Ste. Anne’s in 1796. While the local priest, he helped start the school which evolved into the University of Michigan, started primary schools for white boys and girls as well as for Indians, as a territorial representative to U.S. Congress helped establish a road-building project that connected Detroit and Chicago, and brought the first printing press to Michigan which printed the first Michigan newspaper. After his death in 1832, Richard was interred under the altar of Ste. Anne’s.^[1][2]

Detroit was the goal of various American campaigns during the American Revolution, but logistical difficulties in the North American frontier and American Indian allies of Great Britain would keep any armed rebel force from reaching the Detroit area. In the Treaty of Paris (1783), Great Britain ceded territory that included Detroit to the newly recognized United States, though in reality it remained under British control. Great Britain continued to trade with and defend her native allies in the area, and supplied local nations with weapons to harass American settlers and soldiers.

In 1794, a Native American alliance, that had received some support and encouragement from the British, was decisively defeated by General Anthony Wayne at the Battle of Fallen Timbers. Wayne negotiated the Treaty of Greenville (1795) with many of these nations, in which tribes ceded the area of Fort Detroit to the United States. Detroit passed to the United States under the Jay Treaty (1796). Great Britain agreed to evacuate forts held in the United States’ Northwest Territory. In 1805, a fire destroyed most of the settlement. A river warehouse and brick chimneys of the wooden homes were the sole remains of the structures.^[10] Detroit’s motto and seal (as on the Flag) reflect this fire.

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

 

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The Voice of Summer: A Lenten Reflection

For, lo, the winter is past,
The rain is over and gone;
The flowers appear on the earth;
The time of the singing of birds is come,
And the voice of the turtle is heard in our land.

Solomon 2:11-12

For any Michigander, Detroit Tiger Fan or just a Detroiter, you know the above, it is the Voice of the Turtle, and every spring it was read by the voice of summer, Ernie Harwell

In Detroit, you knew it was spring, not by the temperatures outside, but by the voice of Ernie on the air. Each and every Detroit Tigers Baseball session started off with the Voice of the Turtle, a short verse from the book of Solomon, yet, most of us hearing the words had no idea they were from the bible. I know that when I was growing up hearing Ernie’s words, I thought it was just a pome he wrote for the start of spring, I had no idea that he was evangelizing me, I had no idea I was hearing the inspired word of God.

Isn’t that just how life is, we hear something, it sounds cute, it sounds good, yet we fail to hear the voice of God with in it.  But yet, like Ernie’s rendition of the Voice of the Turtle, it resonates with you, it seems to fill a spot within your heart. I know that’s how it was with Ernie, and that’s how it still is, even today when I hear his voice, I hear his reading of the Voice of the Turtle, I feel spring has arrived, all is right with the world. It’s amazing how certain things effect us.

God is that way, when you allow Him to be. He will resonate within you, make all things right, if you allow Him too. But like hearing the voice of summer, you have to tune in, to hear Ernie call a baseball game was like being in the park, feeling the sunshine and smelling the hotdogs. He made you fell as if you were apart of the action, one of the fans right behind home plate.

I remember many a Saturday afternoons listening to Ernie call a game, his voice was baseball, and you truly did feel safe and secure with his voice on the radio. Several years ago Ernie passed away, and it was like all of Michigan lost a grandfather, and we all knew Detroit Baseball would never be the same. Something was lost, the voice of summer had died. Sure, he had not been calling games for a few years before he passed on, but he was still there, you would hear him on the radio every now and than and you knew he was watching his beloved Tigers, just as you were. It just seemed different after his passing, nothing was the same, summer had lost its voice and silence now rained. Dramatic sounding I know, but some people just have the effect on you, some moments or memories are just that strong, and Ernie is one such memory. And not just for me, but for millions of fans.

Last year I had the opportunity to see a play in downtown Detroit called “Ernie!”, yep a play about the voice of summer. It was written by our own Mitch Album, a local sports writer  and radio personality, and know nationally for his best selling book “Tuesdays with Morrie”. The one act play was a sell out each and every night and is returning this year for another go around. An amazing thing, if you stop and think about it, Ernie was just a sports broadcaster, a baseball guy. He didn’t invent the cure for cancer, he died from it. he didn’t bring world peace to the world, he brought baseball to the homes. He was, by every account, just a man who loved baseball, his wife Lulu and his kids. He was just Ernie. But he was beloved by all and holds a special place in the hearts of all Detroiters, for Ernie was, and still is to many, the voice of summer. Ernie knew his gifts and used them everyday, in small ways, to make God know and visible in this world. Be it by reading a small poem  on the air waves, or by making us all feel as if we are welcomed into his world of baseball. It was his gifts that he chose to share with the world, and we are all better of for it. Ernie was truly one of a kind, he truly was a gift from God.

Lent offers us an opportunity to look into ourselves, to evaluate our gifts and to determine the best way to share them with others. God gave Ernie the gift of Baseball, the gift to make you feel welcomed and the gift of the love of life, what gift do you have, and how are you using it. Find ways this Lent to use your gifts, to share them with others, to make God known a little better in this world.

God Bless & Happy Lent

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

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Declutter for the New You

Image via Wikipedia

Here is a challenge, declutter your life starting now… Where ever you are reading this, stop reading and look around, find 5 things you can toss out or donate… And do it, toss it or donate it… Only 5 things…

The act of cleansing or decluttering is a hard thing for us to do, we seem to collect things in our lives. If I look around my office I can see 5 things I need to toss, but can I do it? will I do it? That is the real question. I know I should, I know that I have way to much “stuff” but can I part with any of it? Does it have any value or meaning to me?

Decluttering our office,home,cars our lives is a positive thing to do, but all to often we don’t. We may organize it, put it away, because maybe, just maybe we will need it again, sometime in the future… But we never do and it just sits there taking up space.

This is true with our desks as much as with our souls and minds. How much “stuff” do we have in our souls that we just don’t need?

• Resentment
• Jealousy
• Envy
• Hatred

All of that takes up valuable space in our souls, the more we hold on to it, the more dust covers it, the harder it is to part with it. We begin to feel that it is a part of us, bad as it maybe, but still apart of us. The envy turns into a constant coveting of others, we began to expect things to be given to us, in the name of fairness. No longer thinking that we must work for what we want, just expecting what others have. The resentment turns into a feeling of disdain towards all, not just who hurt us, but all. The dust keeps us from seeing the hatred that is filling our hearts, replacing the kindness and love we once had for mankind. Turning our lives into death.

The act of decluttering will make room for:

• Forgiveness
• Love
• Charity
• Trust

Growth cannot happen if there is no room to grow, if we keep all that is old and harmful, we allow no room for what is new and beneficial. So look around you, did you find 5 things to toss? Now look inside you, did you find 5 things to toss? Keep looking, I know you will find something… We all have our things to toss, I know I do, and I know how are it can be. But I will keep looking, and I will keep trying… That is the only way I will ever succeed at change and growth.

God Bless

Paul

Guided Insight Life Coach

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The Lost week

It has been sometime between blog posting, it’s not that I haven’t wanted to sit down and post, I have. In fact several times I have sat down to do just that, write a blog and post it. Yet when I sat own it seemed I had nothing to say. So I would sit there for a few moments and stare at the monitor than exit the program and get up and walk away. I must not have had any real ideas, because if I did I would have posted them.

Well with Christmas Day behind us and the New Year looming ahead of us, we as a people, are in a transition phase. It funny really how this one week between almost feels like a lost week of sorts. As for me, I am off of work this week, as I was last week. My decorations are still up my house is clean and I have a new book to read, Being George Washington: The Indispensable Man, as You’ve Never Seen Him, by Glenn Beck along with several free books I download to my iPad. So I am sure this week will be filled with reading and old movies. This weekend I will take down the Decorations and ring in the New Year by sitting at home enjoying my last days of vacation.

This lost week, as I called it in the above paragraph, is just that. Stories of the Year in Review are everywhere, yet the year is not even over yet, it’s as if this week is outside of time, that there are only 51 weeks in a year, and one week of transition into the new year. We hear people saying things like, “I’ll start my diet next week, after the New Year” or “In the New Year we will clean out our closets” As if this week does not exist. I am guilty of this myself. I need to get back to working out, yet I keep putting it off, until the New Year, I need to quit smoking, yet again I tell myself, in the New Year.

Why Wait?

Why do we put it off, why do we wait that extra 7 days? Because we really don’t want to do what ever it is we are putting off, we use the “holiday” as an excuse. Than after the “holiday” we will find other excuses. So I have decided that I am going to work out today, I am going to start it back up, before the New Year, I am going to use this Lost Week to find the courage and strength to improve myself, to reach for the goals I have set for myself each and every New Year:

• Get into shade
• Quit Smoking
• Lose Weight
• Make time for Friends

The list is larger but I am finding that if I make to many goals, I achieve none, so I will stick to that.  With each day that passes it will get harder and harder to achieve the goals, so the Lost Week is only going to make it harder come the New Year. So I have decided to find that week, and make it productive.

They say it takes 21 days to form a habit, that may be true, but to me it seems to only work on bad habits. I was working out 3 times per-week for 4 months, yet I was able to break that habit with no problem. I have stopped smoking for 2 months at a time, yet I seem to be able to start-up again with no problem.

Life changes are hard to make, hard to commit to and even harder to keep. We are creatures of habit, and it seems our habits are life long. I have never talked to an ex-smoker who does not miss smoking. Like any other life changing event, it takes time and dedication to achieve. As a life coach I understand the issues that come with life changes. I have gone through many in my life, from the death of my parents to wanting to quit smoking. Each event has its own rhyme and reasons, its own ebb and flow. Yet each even shares some very basic characteristics. Each event involves some sort of personal resolve.

With the death of a parent, or any loved one, our lives are forever altered, we never “get over it” it never “gets better” it just gets “Different”. We change is some way, we become something different. For some the change is profound, for others it is subdued, but a change does take place. The same can be said for people who quit smoking, they never “get over smoking” and it never “gets easer” it just gets “different”. And like the death of a parent or loved one, the change is different for each of us, but a change does take place.

It seems to me that it is how we choose to deal with it, how we choose to approach it. With the death of my Dad, I learned a life lesson, simple yet very profound, “Life is too short”. That was it, but to me it was life changing. My dad died to young, and he left a family, including my mother, and I am sure he had unfinished business to attend to. Yet in his death I learned that valuable life lesson, Life is to short. I also saw who were his true friends and the impact his life had on others. Yes I mourned his death, yes I felt and still feel a hole in my heart, but I also learned. The death of my mother taught me how to die. And in teaching me how to die, she taught me how to live. Her faith was strong and her love was even stronger. She never lost sight of her family or her sense of humor and she never took her eyes off the love of the Cross. As with my dad, my mom died far to young, but as with my dad, in her death she continued to teach me, to protect and nurture me.

My experience with the death of my parents has changed me, altered my life, hopefully for the better. Yet not all people can claim positive experiences from death, many people allow death to change there lives not for the better, but for the worst. They dwell upon it, relive each and every moment… Creating an environment of death, one devoid of life, shutting life out. I can not answer why some people do this, why they would choose this (yes I believe everything we do comes down to being a choice).

What does all this have to do with the Lost Week, lots…

This week between Christmas and New Years, this lost week that we seem to use as just an excuse not to achieve our goals is a perfect time to make a choice, how are we going to deal with ______(fill in the blank)____, what am I going to do, how and I going to react, what in my life is going to change for the better… I made decisions when my parents died, I decided I would use their deaths as a lesson, a time to learn, a time to take their love and life and use it as a gift from them to me, to better my life. Well I can look at my goals in the same way, I can look at working out as a lesson, a gift of love, from myself to me, I can look at quitting smoking as a life lesson, “don’t follow the cool kids” or “Be yourself”…

Life is all about choices, we just need to learn to make smarter ones…

God Bless

Paul

Related articles

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The 20 things that bug me

Just a few things that bug me:

1. When your in a store and the person in front of you is on there phone and checking out. They always take longer, because they are more concerned about there phone call than checking out. Really, you mean to tell me the call cant wait 5 minuets why you are checking out, and it never fails that they talk load….
2. When you open the door for someone and they don’t say thank you, come on, it takes 2 seconds to be nice and say thank you. I have been in the habit of saying it for them. And the funny thing is, they give me the funny look, like I’m the rude one.
3. When your at a red light and the person in front of you decides that’s a great time to look for some long lost item in there car. You mean to tell me that could not wait until you got home and parked in your own driveway… Really…
4. People who walk there dogs and allow there dogs to do there business on your law, and don’t pick it up. You see them looking around to make sure no one is looking. As far as I know your dogs crap in not my responsibility.
5. When you are having a debate or discussion with some who disagrees with you, and when you start to win the debate, they resort to name calling. Come on, grow up!
6. SPAM messages to your blog say how great your blog is, in bad English.
7. When I am Holy Mass and the person next to me decides that having a conversation about some thing or other is a good idea, and when you give them the “look” they act as if you are disrupting them.
8. Parents who allow there kids to run around stores and restaurants as if it is there personal play ground.
9. Parents that cuss at there children, really, that’s the best you can do. No other word would have worked? Give me a break.
10. When you hear about a gang member being shot and killed, and the parent/relative/friend say “They were a good boy, they never did anything wrong”. I guess being in a gang don’t count.
11. Make-shift memorials at crash sites along the road site. I understand the need to express your sadness and remorse, I even understand the need to somehow mark the event. But it seems that every time anyone gets a hangnail a make-shift roadside memorial pops up.
12. The need for people to want to be part of everyone else’s tragedy.  When a teen dies in a school it seems that teen must have been the most popular kid ever. Every student seems to post RIP on there Facebook, but if you ask them if they were good friends, the response 9 times out of 10 is, I didn’t know them. Than why are you posting RIP, for the attention? to feel part of it all? Because its what everyone else is doing?
13. Store clerks who talk on there cell phones or to other workers why they are waiting on you. I am not really all that interested in your weekend plans or who did who…
14. People who move to this country than bash it… Move back home if America is that bad…
15. Liberals who praise Cuba or other such countries. Praising there health care or governments, yet ignoring the fact they killed millions of there own people and the people live under fear and oppression.
16. Sales people who wont leave you alone. I know they work on commission, but don’t they understand that you get more flies with honey than vinegar. If and when I need help, I will ask.
17. People who voted for Obama, just to be part of history. Really, that’s how you decide who is going to lead the free world, based on the fact that it will make history.
18. The attitude “I am owed” this or that. We see it in our teens and young adults all the time. There first job they expect to make $100,000.00 and when they find out they are making only $1500.00 they get a little indigent.
19. School teachers who blindly teach a perverted version of American history.
20. Unions…. Just because they exist

Well there you have it, the 20 things that bug me….

God Bless

Paul

 

How Smucker’s BP&J changed the world*

I have written about, in the past, my sisters daughter who had brain cancer as a child, she is 22 now, and over all doing fine. She has the mentality of an 8-year-old, and this, sometimes, causes one to stop and reflect on what she has to say. Many times you just smile and laugh because her way of processing information is, well lets just say interesting.

For example a few years back my sister decide that the truth of Santa needed to be told to her, she was getting a tad-bit to big to sit on his lap. So the truth was told… Her response, “Well what about Rudolf?” How can you argue with that…?

The latest concerns school. She attends a skill center, a school designed round the needs of kids like her, it teaches skills for life. Some of the kids will be able to hold jobs, live on their own and function in life, and the skill center is there “college”. Her plan, now that she is 22, was to go only 1/2 time, she was getting board with the classes and really only had interest in a few things. One of the things they do at the skill center is provide the kids with a change to work at local business, and she has done so, but only liked working at one particular place. This can be an issue, if they don’t like, well than they don’t understand why they have to do it. She understands she is an “adult”, she is 22, so why is she being forced to work someplace she does not like. Understandable… The other issue, most of her friends have left the skill center, or sadly, they have passed on. This being a risk with any of her friends that had childhood cancer. Her best friend passed on last year, it was a sad, sad time for all of us.

So, her plan, school 1/2 time and work around the house the other part of the day. A good plan, not how I see it, left to her own devices, cartoons would rule her world and little to no work/activity would take place. Not a good thing for her, or anyone else for that matter.

As luck would have it, her friends more or less convinced her to go full-time, but that was not the deciding factor. The State also required her to go full-time, based on her test results. But that, to her, was not the deciding factor, the deciding factor to her was…. are you ready for this…

“If I don’t go full-time, than I wont get my Smucker’s Peanut Butter and Jelly”

Yep, it was the PB&J that did it. You see my sisters would only buy them for school lunches, and with only 1/2 time at school she would not take a lunch, so no PB&J.

This has to cause one to stop and think. How simple, how pure and innocent a thought. My life revolves around whether I can have a Smucker’s or not. You got to love it. How much simpler all our lives would be if only we based our decisions on such important things, such as can I have a Smucker’s or not.

Like I said, sometimes I just have to take pause… And really think about what she said, yes I smiled and laughed when my sister told me this, and yes to her that was a major factor in her decision to attend full-time.

So now I know, when something important comes up, I won’t ask WWJD (What would Jesus do) but rather CIHAS (Can I have a Smucker’s). Yes my friends, Smucker’s can, and did change the world, at least for her. god bless her simple thoughts, there are days I wish I had the same logic…

 

God Bless

Paul

 

Kid-Free Zones…

A few weeks ago I read an article about a restaurant that has a no kid policy. I read the article, and have to say, I agree, the owner of the restaurant has the right to banning children under the age of 6. But I never thought of it again, that is until today…

 

Today I read a new article (Read this) about this trend of banning kids from restaurants, hotels, airplanes and other such places. And It made me think once again about what I think of this practice… And I still have to say, I like it, I think it’s a good idea for a few reasons:

• Parents that believe that allowing there brats to run around is a good idea
• Some places are just adult only
• Sometimes its nice to be kid free, no crying and yelling and pouting

Brat free zones can be a good thing. It would be nice knowing that if I choose to spend lots of money on a nice dinner out I won’t have to worry about an out of control brat. Or if I am in a first class seat on my way to Paris, I won’t be disturbed with a screaming baby. Or I want to watch a movie, but really don’t want all the brats talking and screaming.

Choice is a good idea, and if I choose between brat free zones or Kid friendly zones, to me that’s a good thing. To tell the truth, kids don’t bother me, for the most part. But every now and than, and I must say it seems to me that it happens more often now, it seems kids are allowed to get out of control, and the parent just sits there or stands by doing nothing. So maybe we need s a no stupid parents zone, maybe that’s more of the issue than the brats themselves.

 

God Bless

Paul

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The dangers of the 4th of July on your children

Image via Wikipedia

Harvard University did a study on the effects of children attending a 4th of July celebrations. Yep, you read it right, the effects of the 4th of July celebrations on children. The results, simply put, children who attend some sort for 4th of July celebration will more than likely turn out to be…. Republicans…

• Fourth of July celebrations have a significant impact upon people’s political preferences;
• Attending one Fourth of July before age 18 increases the likelihood of identifying as a Republican by at least 2 percent and voting for the Republican candidate by 4 percent. It also increases voter turnout by 0.9 percent and boosts political campaign contributions by 3 percent.  (The press release)

So for me, I say if that is the case, than every child should attend a BBQ or parade on the 4th of July.  Maybe our nation will than have a chance to survive.

But the better questions is why does 4th of July celebrations turn kids in to Republicans, and not Democrats?  My simple answer, Republicans love America, Democrats despise her, so they wont show up at a 4th of July celebration anyway.

 

A Brief History of Fourth of July

(Taken from the research paper)

On July 3, 1776, John Adams, the second president of the United States wrote “[Fourth of July]
ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance…It ought to be solemnized with pomp and
parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this
continent to the other, from this time forward, forevermore” (Adams, 1776, p. 3).9 In the years that followed, Fourth of July was the only national holiday, marking the date of the nation’s existence and serving as a display of national unity. The latter function of Independence Day was particularly important in helping the scattered citizens of 13 states view themselves as part of a single nation (Waldstreicher, 1995; Travers, 1997; Heintze, 2007). Celebrations in the early republic included militia drills, processions, readings of the Declaration, dinners, and fireworks. 10 Present-day festivities took form in the late 19th and early 20th century, being part of the Progressive Movement’s effort to revive civic ceremonies on Fourth of July. Appelbaum (1989) describes how the tastes of the progressive reformers ran towards “patriotic pageants, patriotic music, parades with patriotic floats, marching units patriotically costumed in period dress, and tableaux vivants depicting patriotic scenes in American history” (Appelbaum, 1989, p. 141). Through campaigns such as “Safe and Sane July Fourth”, the reformers sought to convince local civic officials to make the public holiday resemble a playground festival, in which children performed dramatic skits and dances (Smilor, 1980; Glassberg, 1987). In documenting Fourth of July celebrations in Minnesota in the early and mid 20th century, Nemanic (2007) writes “Independence Day programs featured events for the entire family, with particular emphasis placed on children…festivities would begin with a noisy wakeup ritual followed by a patriotic parade. Afterwards, a formal ceremony might be held that included orations and readings from the Declaration of Independence. The afternoon offered an array of contests, concerts, and sporting events. In the evening,…a torch light parade might be held…Fireworks ended most celebrations” (Nemanic, 2007, p. 121).
Celebrations in the first half of the 20th century were political events. Local politicians were
involved in planning for the occasion, as well as providing financial support to the Fourth of July
festivities. They also participated actively in the parades and presented orations during the formal ceremonies. Many used the holiday to campaign or to gain visibility between campaigns by giving political speeches. In the cities, civic groups and political parties organized separate events to further their particular cause (Appelbaum, 1989; Nemanic, 2007).
Fourth of July in the 1950’s and the 1960’s included beauty contests, auto races, regattas, dog
shows, and parachute-jumping contests, as well as traditional parades and orations (Appelbaum, 1989). The holiday became increasingly commercialized as businesses took over the Fourth of July program sponsorship from town volunteer committees and the political parties (Nemanic, 2007). Also, the backyard barbecue was institutionalized during this period, making Fourth of July a more private tradition among friends as opposed to a community festival. As a consequence of the holiday’s changed character, the event became depoliticized. While Fourth of July celebrations in the last 40 years have kept much of the private features introduced in the 1950’s and 1960’s, some of the patriotic practices from the beginning of the 20th century were reintroduced. Contemporary festivities can be full-day affairs, with parades and speeches in the morning followed by afternoon barbecues, tailgating, and evening fireworks (Heintze, 2007).

9John Adams’ letter to his wife, Abigail, actually spoke of July 2, the date the resolution of independence was approved, but from the outset, Americans celebrated independence on Fourth of July, the date shown on the Declaration of Independence (Appelbaum, 1989).
10Historic accounts further document how newspapers played a vital role in spreading common Fourth of July practices across the country (Waldstreicher, 1995; Newman, 1999).

I pray that everyone has a blessed, fun and safe 4th of July celebration, and God Bless America!

 

God Bless

Paul

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Seven tasks to change your life

Sometimes I like to give tips on what you can do to help improve your life, so today I thought I would do just that. We all have read or heard top ten list, we have them for everything, but all to often they are hard to follow, or in truth, they are the top ten topics, each containing 10 to-do items. Well I’m not going to do that, I am going to give you a list of actual action items that you can do today, and my list is not going to be the top 10 of anything, but a much more manageable list of 7, one for each day of the week. You decide in what order they go and the priority they deserve, who knows you better than yourself, definitely not me.

You know yourself, even if you don’t think you do, so this list is going to help you, daily, define and refine yourself. Follow it with persistence and I guarantee you will see a new and better you in no time.

What you will need

1. Outlook or any email that will send you notification
2. Journal or Blog
3. The desire to make change in your life
4. A good attitude

 

A good Attitude

 

A good attitude is paramount to this plan, you must approach the daily tasks with a positive upbeat outlook, or the daily task is dead before you even begin. How we approach things is often times more important that what we are approaching. If we approach any task with a negative attitude we defeat the purpose before we even start, regardless of the task. For example, if our task is simple to clean the house, our attitude will determine our enjoyment of the task. If we look at house cleaning as a negative, we will, by our very nature, dread the task, we will clean it not because we see value in it, but because we know we must. For anyone who have children you know what I am talking about. How often do we say to our kids “If you would put as much effort into doing _____(what ever it is) as you do in trying not to do it, you would be done with it”. Be it homework or taking out the garbage. We instinctively know that how we approach any task determines the outcome.

We have all seen this in action, the person at work whom we know are not as smart or talented as us, yet they seem to get all the breaks. They seem to take each assignment in stride and with a smile. Often times, in the workplace, school or just life in general, the person who shows more initiative or “spunk” gets the choice assignments or the “break” that we, ourselves, were striving for. It’s all in our attitude, how we are perceived. So we must, if we truly want to see change, approach each and every tasks with a positive attitude, if we desire to see change.

The set up

 

Using your outlook or email account you will enter one task per day, setup automatic notification to be sent to you via your cell phone or email. Each morning when you check your email or your text messages on your phone you will be reminded of your daily task. To help keep you on task you will, at the end of each day, journal about you achievements. You can use the “tried and true” method of pen and paper journaling or start an online blog. I would recommend the blog for a few reasons, 1) Keeping a blog will allow you to access your journal from anywhere, and allow you to update your progress when ever you feel a need. 2) Because it is online, others can read and post comments about your progress. This can be a very useful tool, allowing you to asses the viewpoints of others. But either way is fine, what ever works best for you. Once you have the tools you need, now its time to enter your 7 tasks…

The 7 Tasks

 

1. Read: Spend 30 minutes reading an uplifting or positive book or article. The goal is to read something that will help you improve your life, it can be the bible or self-help book or even an online newsletter that is sent to your email inbox. But set aside 30 minuets on this day to do just that, nothing else, allowing yourself to enter fully into what ever you are reading. If you do this daily, that’s ok also, but it is important to set aside 30 minutes at least once a week to “exercise” your mind.
2. Give: Once a week find somehow to give back to your community, be it at your local church or outreach center or your community schools. Giving is proven to increase your health and provides the giver with much more than they gave. By giving I do not mean money, yes money is needed, but I am talking about time and talent. Find a way to give 30 minuets once a week to your community. Giving does not have to be in an official way, you don’t have to find a volunteer organization to work with, you could just call your child’s teacher and ask if there is anything you can do to help out, maybe even at home or if you can, in the classroom. Be creative.
3. Family: Once a week set aside at least 30 minutes of uninterrupted family time. This means no phones no email and no TV. Go to the park, play a board game, read to your younger children. Anything that is quality time. If you have no kids, than spend the time with your wife or significant other. And if you don’t have that than your brothers or sisters or whom ever you consider family. The idea here is to create quality moments with loved ones, whom ever they are.
4. De-clutter: Once a week pick an area in your home or office to de-clutter, be it your junk drawer or your office desk. Be it a small 5 minute job or a whole weekend job. Clutter in your living and working environment adds clutter to your life. Cleaning out your desk drawers will help you clean out  your mind and soul. We, by our nature, are pack rats, some worse than others, but we all do it. We may think we are not, but it never ceases to amaze me that I can take a carload to Saint Vincent DePaul’s and 6 months later I have more. It seems that’s when we de-clutter the first time, we hold on to some stuff “just incase”, than 6 months later we de-clutter again and realize that “just incase” never happened.
5. Beautify: Look around you and find one place, one spot that needs a “face-lift” needs to be brightened up or just given the once over. Create a container garden for the house or office. Repaint a room or paint your first masterpiece, find someway to add beauty to your daily life. We all have experienced the power of a sunset or the view from a vista that has taken our breath away, remember the feeling and recreate it in your life.
6. Pamper: We all like to be pampered, so once a week pamper yourself. Take yourself out to a fancy dinner, get a manicure or massage. Fine one way each week to indulge yourself. This could be on your own or with someone else. We all know that one thing that makes us feel that something special, do it, enjoy without guilt. It could be as simple as getting that special chocolate you like or just taking a hot bath with a glass of good wine. What ever it is, find it and do it.
7. Stretch: Each week find one way to stretch yourself, to take yourself out of your comfort zone and stretch. Like any exercise, we need to stretch, and changing yourself is no different. Yes, for some all 7 tasks may seem life stretching, and that may be true. But it is important to find new and exciting ways to stretch, just like in a good workout routine, you must change it up or the muscles will get use to the route, and no value will be added. If we only stick to the first 6 task, they will become routine, and that’s fine, we want that, but we also want to keep stretching, and task 7 does just that. If you don’t like public speaking, than volunteer to read to children at the local school or library one week. If you hate politics, attend a political event. What ever it is, what every stretches you, find it and do it, changing it up each week, allowing different “muscles” to be used.

So there you have it, 7 tasks to help you become a better you. So set them as daily reminders in your email and remember to approach each and everyone with a positive attitude. At the end of each day journal about it, how did it make you feel, what did you do, what did you learn about yourself and/or others. The journaling is just as important as the task itself, the process of journaling allows you to process the task, forces you to look deeper in to it and often times allows you to see things you never would have with out the journaling.

God Bless

Paul

Get a Life Coach to help you achieve your goals…

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