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Guest Blogger: Is Having an Ego Good or Bad? By Rolland D Hurley


Is Having an Ego Good or Bad?

By Rolley D Hurley

Expert Author Rolley D Hurley

As I study the realm of thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and emotions in the psyche of humanity; I have become intrigued by the diverse description and explanation of the human Ego. Although it is found in every one of us, the usual reference has depicted its meaning as an unworthy or negative trait. There has been very little comparison otherwise and therefore lays my dilemma. When I look into the unseen forces of nature, and evaluate what I believe is my true spiritual essence, it is hard for me to discard this natural inherent element called "Ego".

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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Rolley_D_Hurley

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I hope you enjoyed this article, for my point of view read: Ego: Good or Bad

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

 
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Posted by on June 12, 2012 in Ego, life coach, Self, selfhelp

 

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The Lessons of American Leadership


"The surrender at Saratoga" shows Ge...

“The surrender at Saratoga” shows General Daniel Morgan in front of a French de Vallière 4-pounder. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Over the past weekend We celebrated Memorial Day here in the States, a day to stop and thank all the veterans that fought to keep this country safe and free. As part of my celebration I spent Sunday at Greenfield Village, thy have a Civil War remembrance weekend, the village is one large encampment of Civil War tents and solders. It is awesome to see. It wills me with pride to know I live in a land that fought for freedom and preserves freedom. America  is not perfect, no country is, but to me she is the model of perfection for nations to follow.

Freedom is a slippery thing, you can lose it faster than you gained it. For over 200 years we have been fighting for our freedom, fighting to maintain it and preserve it for generations yet to come. As Americans, we all to often get complacent with our freedom, we expect it to always exist, with little to no work on our part. But weekend such as Memorial Day as there to remind us that Freedom is not free, is not guaranteed and can be lost.

As a free nation, a free people we have responsibilities, to each other, our nation and the world. For with great freedoms comes great responsibilities. We are leaders, by our very nature, we are Americans and Americans have always been adventures and risk-takers.

Consider this, this great nation was built upon the backs of explorers, people wanting a new life, people willing to live in extreme conditions to gain this new life. They not only wanted change, they also created the change they sought.

Leaders are people who don’t avoid change, they take it head on. This nation was built upon the principle of leadership. The Pilgrims did not need self-help books to read on the Mayflower, they did not hold group sessions about change or have little motivational posters to remind them that change is good. It was in their blood, they sought it out, forged the path and built upon it.

Setbacks were expected and met with courage and fortitude. The early settlers looked upon America and a change to change and grow, to become a free people able to map out their own existence, one free of the tyranny of the Mother land. Yes, they where British, French and Spanish and proud to be so, yet they were willing to leave all behind to experience personal and spiritual growth.They set up new governmental systems and experimented with the human condition, they allowed the human mind the freedom to thing and grow, they established colonies based upon these ideas, some thrived and some failed, yet they did not give up.

The revolutionary war was fought primarily to allow America to grow, to allow her people to live free. The Founding Fathers did not set out to carve out a new nation, they originally set out to get representation, fairness from the King. They were proud English men, willing to fight for the King, but unwilling to be the step child of the most powerful Nation of its time. They were willing to risk all for the basic rights enjoyed by their fellow English men.

The idea of a new nation, and American Nation was not part of the original plan, but being leaders they were able to adjust to the situation, to see the opportunities before them and to visualize the benefits of freedom. The Revolutionary War was about more than just taxes, the British had already removed the taxes that were in question. The Tea Tax was truly a moot point, the amount was trivial, but what it represented was monumental. The America people were tired of tyranny and deception, there were ready to self govern and willing to die to achieve the goal.

Don’t tread on me was the battle cry of a Nation being born, born out of the minds of great leaders. The American experiment was about to happen, and the founders knew they needed to lead this change. The “grass roots” effort was born. The printing press was the Facebook and Twitter of its day, Thomas Pane and many others took to the press to write the bold plans of Independence, they used the written word to rally the nation and to lead us into change, change that would prove to be historic and universal.

From the Pilgrims through the Founding Fathers Americas psyche was forged. The backbone of America was created off the sweat, blood and tears of our great leaders, many of whom we will never know by name. Our courage was handed down generation to generation and our love of Freedom is in our blood. The American spirit is one of Adventure and Leadership, we are willing to lay our lives down, not for man, but for an idea, the idea that humanity is born to be free. We do not offer up our lives to a King or President, but to a greater good, the good of all.

Great leadership has built this nation and lack of leadership will be its downfall. As President Reagan said:

Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn’t pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children’s children what it was once like in the United States where men were free.

Ronald Reagan
40th president of US (1911 – 2004)

We are a people of leaders, a people of change a people of freedom, let us never forget that…

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

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Road to Redemption: How to Overcome Feeling Sorry for Yourself


Feeling sorry for yourself, and you present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have.

-Dale Carnegie

What can we do about this, how can we change our own outlook on our own life? How do we stop feeling sorry for ourselves, stopping the self-pity and self loathing?  What can we do to save ourselves from ourselves?

Some points to consider:

  • Only you can make you feel bad
  • Only you are in control of you
  • Only you can fix you
  • Only you can do it

We are in control of our own lives, this is a basic and true fact, nothing can change this basic fact. However, being human, being of a fallen nature, we are prone to failure, we are prone to self-doubt we are prone to self-destruction. So how do we change this, how do we get past our fallen human nature? What can we do to become a better person, a person of confidence a person of integrity and person of character?

We can teach ourselves to over come our fallen nature, we can grow above and beyond that, it is achievable, it is with-in our grasps, all we need to do is trust, trust in God, trust that He will provides the graces we need to archive our perfection.

Trust in God does not mean we sit back and do nothing, quit the contrary, trust in God means we buckle down, place our nose to the grind stone, work our fingers to the bones, what ever cleaver little saying you choose. Trust is God is not the easy road, but it is the road less traveled. It is the road to perfection and happiness, it is the road to freedom and salvation, it is the only road to our own personal redemption.

God is our ticket to liberation, liberation from self-doubt, liberation from self-hatred, the two self-defeating attitudes that create the conditions necessary for self-loathing and just plain old feeling sorry for yourself. God and His graces, His love for you and all your imperfections, our ability to accept His love, to use His graces, that’s the way to freedom, the road to liberation.

Sounds easy, who would not want Gods love, who does not want the graces God bestows upon us? Ask almost anyone, and they would tell you, Yep, I want Gods love, I want His grace, not many would out-and-out refuse it. Some do, but most would be more than happy to accept the freely given gifts. So why that do we have so much pain and suffering, why do we have so many people who are full of self-pity and self-hatred?

Because the gifts and love are given freely, but we must be open to and willing to accept them, and simply saying yes, simply using words, dead words, is not enough. Action is required, God wants us to fully participate in His divine plan for ourselves, He wants us to be active, not just a vessel to poor His love and graces into, but an active participant in His love and grace.

What good are gifts, given freely, if we do not use them, what good is love, given unconditionally, if we do not accept it? A gift is only as useful as it is used, otherwise the gift is of no value. We can receive Gods love all daylong, but if we do not open ourselves to this love, if we do not partake in this love, the love is of no value to us. Yes God continues to love us, regardless of our acceptance or not, but the love goes unused, it is not returned nor is it give to others. The love of God is not meant to be buried like a secret love, but to be received and displayed for all to see, and to be given to others as freely as it was given to us.

The act of receiving is not a passive act, it is an act that requires us to participate fully. Consider this, have you ever given a gift to a friend or loved one, a gift that you gave out of no obligation, no requirement, no special occasion. You gave the gift just out of love, given freely, expecting nothing in return. But the recipient was not receptive to your gift, they may have accepted it, they may have even opened it, but they were not receptive. They showed no sign of joy in the act of love, they showed no sign of rejection, they just accepted it. We, the gift bearer, leave feeling rejected, feel that our love was neither accepted nor outright rejected. We think to ourselves, I would rather have them say I reject your gift, I do not want it, than to just accept it with no emotion at all. The act of receiving is active, it requires work on the part of the receiver. It is the same with Gods gifts to us, He freely offers His gifts, He will not force them upon us, we must freely accept them, and just saying yes is like the friend that opened the gift you offered with no emotion, no reaction, just nothingness. The gift, although given was not truly accepted, it was discarded, not with words, but the lack of action.

So what actions, what is required of us, nothing, we are not required to accept Gods graces nor Gods love, just like we are not required to accept gifts on our birthday or at Christmas. We can choose freely to participate in Gods love, just as we choose freely to accept Christmas gifts and attend birthday parties. But once we choose to attend, action is required, input and output are part of the interaction of any social gathering, so is the case with God, He provides the input, and we provide the output. He gives us, freely, His love, the input, and we actively, through our works, provide the output. Notice, God gives freely, and we work actively, it is through the active works we perfect the graces and love of God is fully realized.

So how can God help us get over our self-hate, our feeling sorry for ourselves. What must we do to actively participate in Gods graces and love given freely. How do we perform the work to  fully realize the gifts God has given. For each of us God has given the gifts that we need, the gifts that are unique to us, so for each of us the works are also unique, but here is a list of a few things all of us can do to help us realize the full potential of our gifts.

  • Pray daily, offer up 30 to 60 minuets per day to God, talk to Him, but more importantly, listen, be still, be quiet, and listen to the loving voice of God. And do not worry if you don’t hear Him  the first time or every time you pray, like everything else in our lives, it take practice. So just pray, daily and know and accept that some days will be better than others.
  • Read daily, anyone who has read my blog before knew that this would be one of the point, it almost always is. But reading is important, reading opens our minds to new possibilities. Read the bible, read a good solid spiritual book or read a novel, just read and let your mind go, let your mind enter into the story or passage. Let the author take you along for the ride. Read at least 15 minutes per day. God often times speaks to me through the books I choose to read that day, the passage I decide to look up or the magazine I choose out of the stack on my coffee table. God uses the everyday items about us to communicate to us, God comes to the place we are, He does not wait for us to arrive at the place He desires us to be.
  • Journal daily, write about your day, write about what you see about you, write about your prayer life, write about what ever you choose to write about. This blog is my journal, it allows me the opportunity to clear my mind, to put down on paper (well in this case, electronic paper) what is on my mind, allows me the opportunity to clear it, to visualize it. God uses these opportunities to speak to us, often times I just sit to write, no idea what I want to write about, just feel the need to clear my mind. It is in these moments that I feel God guiding me more that any other. So journal daily, allow the Holy Spirit to guide your hand across the paper, or in my case the keyboard. Use your time journaling as a time of communion with God.
  • Learn daily, learn about your faith, learn about your life, learn about your country learn about wine or basket weaving, just learn, never stop learning. God created our minds to grow, to learn to expand. In the process of learning, we are using one of Gods greatest gifts to us, the gift of knowledge. So learn something new daily, try something new daily. I try to make it a point to learn something new daily, be it a simple fact or a complex idea. Learning about this world, our self, our nation or about basket weaving is learning about God, for through the ordinary we find God.
  • Think one positive thought daily, when you are in the mist of a bad day, stop yourself, and think about one positive event that took place that day. There is always one, no day is completely bad. Even Good Friday, the day our Lord was killed upon a cross had a positive moment, the moment He offered His life for our sins. So stop and think, seek out the shinning spot among the darkness of your day. It is in the moment, that spot that God will be found.
  • Thank someone daily, always give thanks to all around you, but find someone who needs your thanks more than any other, we find God in our fellow-man, and they find God in us, give freely of your Gift of love from God, by returning to others.

Our works do not purchase Gods love nor are the required, God gives it freely, but our works bring the fullness of Gods love to light. Through Gods love we will learn to love the self, and only through our works will we fully realize that self-love.

 

God Bless

 

Paul W Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

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Destructive Thinking


I thought I would share another found article….

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post written by: Marc

10 Destructive Faults in Our Way of Thinking

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The human mind is wonderful and powerful, but it’s far from perfect.  There are several common judgment errors that it’s prone to making.  In the field of Psychology these are known as cognitive biases, or fallacies in reasoning.  They happen to everyone regardless of age, sex, education or intelligence.

Over the past few months I’ve become fascinated by these biases and fallacies, so I’ve readImage several books about them.  Today I want to share ten of them with you.  They are the ones I repeatedly notice myself and those closest to me struggling with.  My hope is that you will use the information in this article to pinpoint these destructive patterns in your own thinking, and break free from them before they send you spiraling down the wrong path.

  1. Negative self-fulfilling prophecies. – A self-fulfilling prophecy is a prediction that motivates a person to take actions that cause the prediction to come true.  This kind of thinking often tears relationships apart and causes people to fail at their goals.  Here are two typical examples:  1.) A man believes that his relationship with his new girlfriend is “never going to last.”  So he stops putting effort into the relationship, pulls away emotionally, and a month later the relationship fails.  2.) An intelligent undergraduate in the field of health convinces herself that she “doesn’t have what it takes” to become a doctor, so she therefore never completes the prerequisites for medical school, and thus never becomes a doctor.
  2. Only taking credit for positive outcomes. – This destructive thinking pattern occurs when we take full credit for our successes, but deny responsibility for our failures.  A perfect example of this can be witnessed in school classrooms across the globe.  When students receive a good grade, they often attribute it to their intelligence and their excellent study habits.  But when they get a bad grade, they attribute some of their failure to a bad teacher, an unfair set of test questions, or a subject matter that “isn’t needed in the real world anyway.”  The bottom line is that in order for a person to grow emotionally, they must be willing to take full responsibility for all of their actions and outcomes – successes and failures alike.
  3. Believing we are immune to temptation. – We have far less control over our impulsive desires than we often believe.  Sex, food, and drug addictions are extreme examples of this.  Many addicts believe they can quit anytime they want, but in reality they are simply lying to themselves.  But you don’t have to be an addict to be vulnerable to temptation.  Lots of smart people end up impulsively giving in to temptation simply because it’s the easiest way to get rid of it.  It sounds ridiculous, but it’s true.  If someone wants to get rid of sexual desire, the easiest way is to have sex.  If someone wants to get rid of hunger pain, the easiest way is to eat.  Restraining from impulsive behavior in the face of temptation is not easy; it takes a great deal of self-control.  So be careful, because when we have an inflated sense of control over our impulses, we tend to overexpose ourselves to temptation, which in turn promotes the impulsive behavior we want to avoid.
  4. Passing a broad judgment from an isolated incident. – An inaccurate first impression is a decent example of this one.  It’s about our natural human tendency to evaluate a person or situation from a bird’s eye view, and then presume to know enough to pass a reasonable judgment.  This happens a lot in the corporate working world.  A newer employee might show up late to work after experiencing legitimate car trouble, but their boss immediately becomes suspicious that they are not committed and responsible, and treats them as such for several weeks thereafter.  The obvious solution here is to look at the big picture before you start pointing fingers or making assumptions.
  5. Believing we can control the uncontrollable. – This thinking fallacy occurs when people begin to believe that they have some kind of direct influence or power over an external event that is completely random.  It is especially evident in the minds of amateur gamblers; especially those who have had a recent string of good luck.  For example, if you flipped a coin and asked someone to guess heads or tails, and they got it right ten times in a row, they might begin to believe that their good luck is confirmation that they have control over the outcome of each flip.  But the truth is that there is always a 50% probability of their answer being correct, and their last ten guesses were pure luck.
  6. Ignoring information that does not support a belief. – Psychologists commonly refer to this as the confirmation bias.  We as human beings naturally tend to look for information that confirms and supports our beliefs, and we tend to overlook information that does not.  We are selective in the evidence we choose to collect so that we don’t have to challenge our way of thinking, because it’s easier not to.  This destructive thinking trap is very common, and it can have detrimental effects on our productivity when we make big decisions based on false information.
  7. Beginner’s optimism. – Beginner’s optimism is the human tendency to underestimate the time required to complete an unfamiliar task.  It occurs due to a lack of planning and research on behalf of someone who is excited about doing something they have never done before.  In other words, when we get assigned a new task that we are anxious to get started on, instead of delaying the start time to accurately evaluate the level of difficulty and resources required, we simply guess and begin.  Thus, our expectation of the workload is based on raw optimism instead past experience and reliable data.  And it all backfires on us a little later when we find ourselves knee deep in work we were unprepared for.
  8. Rebelling simply to prove personal freedom. – Although more common in children, this thinking fallacy can affect people of any age.  It’s basically a person’s urge to do something they have been told not to do, for fear that their freedom of choice is being taken away from them.  This person may not even want to do whatever they are doing to rebel; however, the simple fact that they are not supposed to do it motivates them to do so anyway.  The tactic of reverse psychology is a commonly used method of exploiting this thinking fallacy in others.
  9. Judging a person’s capabilities based solely on the way they look. – This happens thousands of times a day worldwide when one person assumes something about another person based on their immediate appearance.  For example, someone might see a tall, well groomed man in his early fifties, wearing a business suit, and instantly assume he is successful and reliable, even though there is zero concrete evidence to support this assumption.  Bottom line:  You can’t judge a book by its cover.
  10. Trying to diminish losses by continuing to pursue a previous failure. – Sometimes called the sunk cost fallacy, this is a thinking fault that motivates us to continue to support a previously unsuccessful endeavor.  We justify our decision to continue investing in this failed endeavor based on our cumulative prior investment, despite new evidence suggesting that the cost, starting today, of continuing to pursue it outweighs the expected benefit.  The logical thing to do would be for us to cut our losses and change our course of action.  However, due to the sunk costs we have already invested, we feel committed to the endeavor, so we invest even more time, money and energy into it, hoping that our additional investment will reverse the outcome.  But it never will.

If you can relate to some of these destructive thinking faults, and you’re interested in learning more about them, give these books a read.  All three are equally incredible:

Photo by: Pejman Parvandi

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I hope you found this article helpful…

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach 

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The Three Types of Change


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All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward.

Ellen Glasgow

Being interested in and involved in the “Change” industry, I found this quote to be dead on, All too often we tend to think that if we are changing, it must be a positive thing, that we must be growing is some manner. Nothing could be further from the truth. Some change is neutral, you neither move forward nor back, your just stand still. Yet other changes seems to be more positive, we move forward, all-be-it, sometimes a little too slow for our liking, but it’s still a move forward. Change can also move us backwards, much to our dismay.

Let us look at each type of change and discover its potential:

Neutral Change:

The process of non-change, as it where, in the natural state we are neither moving forward nor back, we are just there. This state of being, I would venture, is the most common state. The state of contentment or resignation, we neither desire to change or do not possess the motivation to enact the steps necessary to change. In this state there is no complaining about your current state, but it does not mean you are satisfied with your current life, you may be, but you may also be just resigned to the fact that this is your life. This state can be a sort of sloth, a laziness or true contentment.

Forward Change:

This change is what most people would consider a positive change, a change that is moving you from one state to a new state. This is true, in a forward state you are moving in a new direction. However, the move may or may not be a positive move. For example, you may decide that you wish to advance your situation at work, to become a manager. To help you achieve this goal you start to read books on leadership and management. However, in your search for the right books, you are given bad advice and read books that teach you skills that cause you to back stab and claw your way to the top. You have now moved in a new direction, but that direction is not positive. It is not life affirming it is a direction that may get you that management position, but along the way you have destroyed yourself, and your relationships. Forward change is not always positive; we must pay close attention to how we go about achieving the change we desire.

Backward Change:

Using the example from above, you have now achieved your goal, you are a manager. Yet along the way you backstabbed many friends and you have neglected your relationships. Your life, simple, is a wreck. You have seen your failures, and no longer wish to remain the person you have become. You desire change. At this junction you have three choices. 1. Stay the course; learn to live with what you are. (Neutral) 2. Move forward, correction the misguided choices of the past. 3. Return back; Undo the changes to return to your former self.

This third choice, to move back, sounds like a retreat that you are giving up. However, nothing could be further from the truth. Ask any good General, and they will tell you that you need to know when to retreat. That a well-timed retreat can mean the difference between victory and defeat.

There are times in all our lives that we need to return to our past. Times that we must go back in order to truly move forward. In the example above, you may decide that returning to the “old” you bay be the best starting point to move forward to the “new” you. Especially if you never felt comfortable in the “current” you, you just created. Retreating to safety, back behind the lines, does not mean you are giving up the ground you have taken. Returning to the old you doesn’t mean you give up your new management position. However, it does mean that you must reevaluate your current position and decide if it fits into your new tactical plan.

Change is not a single war to be won, it is many battles, some are victories others are defeats and some are draws. Nevertheless, each battle is a part of the overall war. Only in war can an army lose most of the battles, yet still win the war. We must learn to choose our battles, to plan our attach and our retreats. Learn to be content with a draw and retreat as we are with a victory.

Recommended Reading:

Each of the four books looks at change and life. The first two are historical in nature, but offer lessons that we all should learn. I have read each book, learned life lessons and gained insight in to myself and the world around me. Each book will teach you about the three types of changes and the power of each. Happy reading!

Killing Lincoln

By: Bill O`Reilly

Publication Date: September 27, 2011

killing

A riveting historical narrative of the heart-stopping events surrounding the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, and the first work of history from mega-bestselling author Bill O’Reilly

The anchor of The O’Reilly Factor recounts one of the most dramatic stories in American history—how one gunshot changed the country forever. In the spring of 1865, the bloody saga of America’s Civil War finally comes to an end after a series of increasingly harrowing battles. President Abraham Lincoln‘s generous terms for Robert E. Lee‘s surrender are devised to fulfill Lincoln’s dream of healing a divided nation, with the former Confederates allowed to reintegrate into American society. But one man and his band of murderous accomplices, perhaps reaching into the highest ranks of the U.S. government, are not appeased.

In the midst of the patriotic celebrations in Washington D.C., John Wilkes Booth—charismatic ladies’ man and impenitent racist—murders Abraham Lincoln at Ford’s Theatre. A furious manhunt ensues and Booth immediately becomes the country’s most wanted fugitive. Lafayette C. Baker, a smart but shifty New York detective and former Union spy, unravels the string of clues leading to Booth, while federal forces track his accomplices. The thrilling chase ends in a fiery shootout and a series of court-ordered executions—including that of the first woman ever executed by the U.S. government, Mary Surratt. Featuring some of history’s most remarkable figures, vivid detail, and page-turning action, Killing Lincoln is history that reads like a thriller.

Being George Washington

By: Glenn Beck

Publication Date: November 22, 2011

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IF YOU THINK YOU KNOW GEORGE WASHINGTON, THINK AGAIN.

This is the amazing true story of a real-life superhero who wore no cape and possessed no special powers—yet changed the world forever. It’s a story about a man whose life reads as if it were torn from the pages of an action novel: Bullet holes through his clothing. Horses shot out from under him. Unimaginable hardship. Disease. Heroism. Spies and double-agents. And, of course, the unmistakable hand of Divine Providence that guided it all.

Being George Washington is a whole new way to look at history. You won’t simply read about the awful winter spent at Valley Forge—you’ll live it right alongside Washington. You’ll be on the boat with him crossing the Delaware, in the trenches with him at Yorktown, and standing next to him at the Constitutional Convention as a new republic is finally born.

Through these stories you’ll not only learn our real history (and how it applies to today), you’ll also see how the media and others have distorted our view of it. It’s ironic that the best-known fact about George Washington—that he chopped down a cherry tree—is a complete lie. It’s even more ironic when you consider that a lie was thought necessary to prove he could not tell one.

For all of his heroism and triumphs, Washington’s single greatest accomplishment was the man he created in the process: courageous and principled, fair and just, respectful to all. But he was also something else: flawed.

It’s those flaws that should give us hope for today. After all, if Washington had been perfect, then there would be no way to build another one. That’s why this book is not just about being George Washington in 1776, it’s about the struggle to be him every single day of our lives. Understanding the way he turned himself from an uneducated farmer into the Indispensable (yet imperfect) Man, is the only way to build a new generation of George Washington’s that can take on the extraordinary challenges that America is once again facing.

Seeds of Success

By: Bill and Billy Moyer (Father and Son)

Publication Date: 2008

seeds

This book serves as a wake up call for men and women of all ages and occupations by helping them balance their lives and realize what matters most. Will you choose success or significance? "Take a look in mirror, and redefine what matters most."–Patrick Morley

How to Think Like Leonardo da Vinci: Seven Steps to Genius Every Day

By: Michael J. Gelb

Publication Date: February 8, 2000

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Genius is made, not born. And human beings are gifted with an almost unlimited potential for learning and creativity. Now you can uncover your own hidden abilities, sharpen your senses, and liberate your unique intelligence—by following the example of the greatest genius of all time, Leonardo da Vinci.
Acclaimed author Michael J. Gelb, who has helped thousands of people expand their minds to accomplish more than they ever thought possible, shows you how. Drawing on Da Vinci’s notebooks, inventions, and legendary works of art, Gelb introduces Seven Da Vinci an Principles—the essential elements of genius—from curiosity, the insatiably curious approach to life to concessioner, the appreciation for the interconnectedness of all things. With Da Vinci as your inspiration, you will discover an exhilarating new way of thinking. And step-by-step, through exercises and provocative lessons, you will harness the power—and awesome wonder—of your own genius, mastering such life-changing abilities as:
•Problem solving
•Creative thinking
•Self-expression
•Enjoying the world around you
•Goal setting and life balance
•Harmonizing body and mind
Drawing on Da Vinci’s notebooks, inventions, and legendary works of art, acclaimed author Michael J. Gelb, introduces seven Da Vinci an principles, the essential elements of genius, from curiosity, the insatiably curious approach to life, to concessioner, the appreciation for the interconnectedness of all things. With Da Vinci as their inspiration, readers will discover an exhilarating new way of thinking.
Step-by-step, through exercises and provocative lessons, anyone can harness the power and awesome wonder of their own genius, mastering such life-changing skills as problem solving, creative thinking, self-expression, goal setting and life balance, and harmonizing body and mind.

Please let me know of other books you feel would be good reads for all. Post them here for all to see.

God Bless

Paul Sposite

 

Guided Insight Life Coach

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Finding Ourselves in our Past


Albert Einstein Français : portrait d'Albert E...

Albert Einstein Français : portrait d’Albert Einstein (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving.

~Albert Einstein

How often do you think about who has come before you? How often do you look to the past to understand the now, to understand the self? Mr. Einstein, once again, has hit the nail on the head. Our now, who we are, has a direct connection to that which comes before us. Our human understanding of self comes to us from our ancestors. We owe gratitude to human history, to human expression and our basic curiosity about our own existence.

All too often, we look for the new and exciting ways to discover self, to change and we give praise only to ourselves and to the “new gurus” of today. Yet, we fail to give credit to the past, to those who came before.

If Einstein can humble himself to acknowledge that others, those who came before him, have laid down the groundwork for whom and what he is, surly we can do the same. However, the idea of become Renaissance men is gaining an understanding of the great men and woman who have come before. We read the classics, study the great ones that have come before us and expand our horizons beyond ourselves to include the great men and woman of history.

Through the trials and tribulations of history, we discover the ebb and flow of life. It is within the historical ebb and flow that we will discover the secret of discovering self. There is nothing new under the sun; all that we need to understand about our humanity is in our past. Yes, we have lots to learn about the science of the human body, but there is nothing new to learn about the human condition. Plato, Cicero, Buda along with Confucius and Jesus Christ have given us the road map to perfection, and the great men and woman of the past studied and emulated the great sages of antiquity.

We have much to learn about respecting our past, and growing our future. Nevertheless, we are capable, and we have the tools we need. Most, if not all, of what we need is free and available on the internet. We can go to our local art museums and historical museums to visualize the human condition or attend the local Orchestra concert to hear our collective human heart beat. We are never more than a few miles or few clicks away from the classics, unlike any other time in history, we, in this day and age, have the ability to read, watch and listen to the voice of history. The digital age offers us total access to online studies of the classics.

We need to establish clubs and organizations for adults and youth that delve into the classics that teach the lessons of Plato and Jesus, we need to experience, as a group and individuals, the masters such as Leonardo and Dante. We need to reconnect to our past, not through the filtered message of political views, but as unfiltered historical documents of humanity.

The human condition is defined in our art, literature and wars. How we treat others and care for the less fortunate among us. Our art is our soul and our literature our heart, it is time we reconnected to them.

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

 

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Truly Happy? Can I do it…


Happiness

Can I truly be happy? This is a question most of us ask ourselves at one point or another in our lives. The answer, yes, you can truly be happy, if you do a few simple things.

The secret to being happy is not secret at all, never has been, never will be. All we have to do is listen to ourselves, our body, our heart and our souls. The rhythm of life pulsates through us, and speaks to us in the sorrows and joys of our life. The tears of happiness and sadness tell us much about ourselves and our passions define us. When we learn to read the subtle nuances of or body, the shift in our stance or the tapping of our change in our breathing, we will learn to hear our body speaking to us.

We, as a whole, often times ignore the body and what it is trying to tell us, we over eat, even when our body is saying STOP!, we push ourselves to the limit, when the limit is often times to far. We need to learn to listen to our body, learn to recognize its voice and to understand its complaints.

The are of happiness is not lost to us, it has just been covered with layer upon layer of life, or what we think is life. We have dismissed it as useless information and replaced it with the latest fad in self improvement. Think about this, self-improvement books, DVD’s and seminars are a recent creation. The gurus and sages of today are pale facsimiles of the true gurus and sages of antiquity. They have discovered that with marketing and fancy plans they can make a buck off of your suffering and desires. They have developed programs the lead you to endless searching and wanting and created an industry worth billions:

Personal development – also commonly called self-improvement – is a booming industry! And Internet-based personal development – also commonly called e-learning – is now becoming increasingly popular.

According to market research and statistics, it is a 64 billion dollar industry worldwide. In the US alone, an estimated 9.6 billion dollars is invested in personal development in 2005 in the form of:

- books

- motivational speakers

- personal coaching

- weight loss programs

- audio tapes

- stress management programs

It is also projected that this industry will grow at the rate of 11.4 percent yearly and reach 13.9 billion dollars in 2010.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/904558

Granted, this blog, my Life Coaching and public speaking is all part of this industry, but… (There is always a but) I am not a firm believer in the quick easy results nor the new age trends. I believe in a holistic approach to self improvement, and I believe that each and everyone of us has the answer to happiness inside of us. I believe that a life coach, guru, sage, whatever you want to call them, job is to help you discover you. Not to teach you the latest new age process to achieve some utopia that truly does not exist. My job, as a life coach, is to listen, reflect and guide you to you, to help you see you. It is a task that requires much more from the coached than the coach themselves. I, as the coach, am to show you, teach you and guide you to hear your own body, heart and soul. To understand the language of you and not of others, To lead you to that special place that exist only inside of you, that one place that is uniquely all your own, that place were you and God commune as only you and God can.

That special place is not mine or your parents or spouses, it is yours and only yours.

This is the place of true happiness, and at one point we all have seen it, experienced it, even if for only a moment. The moment when life seemed fresh and bright, when colors were vivid and sounds of nature overwhelmed the senses. The moment when time seemed to stop and eternity was here. That is happiness, that is human potential and our heaven on earth. It is achievable, it is realistic and it is not hidden from us. It is with in our grasps, if only we learn to grasp it.

Life was created for happiness, happiness even in a world of sorrows. Our ability to overcome heartache and devastation is proof that we were created for happiness. So how come we are not happy? Why is it that others seem to be able to shoulder the burdens of life and we cannot? The difference, they, the ones that are happy and fulfilled have learned to listen to the body, hear the heart and feel the soul, they are one with themselves and have learned to be content within there own personal “special place” the place that they commune with God. The truly happy are far and few between, but it does not have to be that way, we all can achieve it, if we desire.

God Bless & A blessed Holy Week

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach 

 

 

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Posted by on April 4, 2012 in Faith, Improvement, Life, Religon, Self, selfhelp

 

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Sowing: A Lenten Reflection


 

English: An etching by Jan Luyken illustrating...

Image via Wikipedia

 

The Parable of the Sower

1 That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat by the lake. 2 Such large crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat in it, while all the people stood on the shore. 3 Then he told them many things in parables, saying: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. 4 As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. 5 Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. 6 But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. 7 Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. 8 Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. 9 Whoever has ears, let them hear.”

10 The disciples came to him and asked, “Why do you speak to the people in parables?”

11 He replied, “Because the knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them. 12 Whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them. 13 This is why I speak to them in parables:

“Though seeing, they do not see;
though hearing, they do not hear or understand.

14 In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah:

“‘You will be ever hearing but never understanding;
you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.
15 For this people’s heart has become calloused;
they hardly hear with their ears,
and they have closed their eyes.
Otherwise they might see with their eyes,
hear with their ears,
understand with their hearts
and turn, and I would heal them.’[
a]

16 But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear. 17 For truly I tell you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.

18 “Listen then to what the parable of the sower means: 19 When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in their heart. This is the seed sown along the path. 20 The seed falling on rocky ground refers to someone who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. 21 But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. 22 The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful. 23 But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it. This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”

Matthew 13:1-23 (NIV)

A good spring reading, planting the garden, caring for the garden. Jesus used parables to teach very deep and profound messages, he used everyday life situations to teach of eternity. Jesus connected to the common man with stories of the everyday. Yet people had a hard time understanding Him, His stories seemed to go over there heads. Why? What made the parables that hard to understand? It seems to us, a little over two thousand years later that what Jesus said is as plain as day. Your deeds are the seeds, your actions are sown into the soil of your soul and our confession is our weeding of our garden.

Jesus, it seems to us, spoke very clearly, but Jesus also stated:

“Though seeing, they do not see;
though hearing, they do not hear or understand.

If that is not a human trait, I don’t know what is. How often we do not see what is before us, the sunset, the bloom of the rose the smile of a child. And how often we do not hear the sounds of the world, the soft wind that blows through the tress, the gentle babble of the brook or the sweet song of the song birds. We miss out on the glories of life, all to often because we are to caught up in life. Or so we think. Life is not to be tossed about, we are to carefully plant our seeds, nurture them and weed our gardens, not just scatter them about and hope for the best. Would you plant your vegetable garden in such a fashion? I think not, it would be a waste of your time, money and effort, so why toss about your soul is such a fashion? Why take such little care for what will bring you eternity?

All weekend I tended to my gardens, cleaning out the leftover fall leafs and pulling the weed, planting some new seed and doing the basic spring start-up. It was lots of work, not yet finished, and it was hard, but over all satisfying. But I am paying for it today, the pain in places I did not know could even hurt, the thought that I will have to do it all again, to the rest of the gardens and the simple fact that gardening, like life, is never done. There are always weeds to pull, plants to trim, grass to cut and so on. It seems that there is always a reason to care for our gardens. But how often do we neglect our gardens? I know that once summer hits, it is harder to force myself to go out and work in my garden, who wants to work hard on a beautiful summers day? What one of us would rather sit drinking an iced tea and reading a good book, or take a trip to the sandy beach. But I know that if I don’t tear out the weeds, they will over take my garden, and smother out the plants, turning all my hard work into a mess. And when that happens, the cleaning up is many times harder than the up keep. To spend a few hours each week weeding is easier than tearing out the garden and rebuilding from scratch. This past weekend I had to just that, tear everything out of one garden and start all over. I was given wild onions that I planted in a small round garden. The first year, they looked great, I have 6 plants, the second year I had maybe 15 plants, the third year, I have 50 or more. So out it came, each one of them. And it was hard work, digging, and pulling, rebuilding the walls of the garden, turning the soil and replanting new plants. If I would have cared for the wild onions, pulled them up, ate them and thinned them out, the work would not have been so hard. But I allowed nature to takes its course, and the onions over powered the garden, making in look a mess, as if it had not a caretaker. The onions did as they were made to do, they reproduced, but I was to care for my garden, to pull some for food and pull some for the over all health of the garden. But I neglected it, I allowed the onions to crowd out each other, to infringe upon each other, not allowing each other the space to grow. And now I pay the price, I dug them all up, replanted a few in two other gardens and created a new one.

Is that not like our life, we plant seeds of sin, sure they seem simple and harmless enough when we plant them. A little white lie here, are little envy here and we think nothing of it. But that little lie grows and becomes a big lie, it blossoms and turns to seed, planting new lies, that all seem harmless. But before we know it, the lies have overtaken our life, and we are lying about needless things, lying about our lies. The garden of our soul is now overtaken by the one simple lie that started it all. The planting bad seeds is easy, you just toss them to the wind, but the planting of good seeds takes time and care. 

This Lent take the time to tend to your garden, tear out the weeds of your life, and plant new seeds of love, hope and charity.  Use lent as the springtime for the soul, plant new gardens of prayer and reverence, and tend to the care of your garden, making it a place of contemplation and praise.

God Bless & Happy Lent

 

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach 

 


 

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Posted by on March 19, 2012 in Catholic, Faith, Lent, Life, Religon

 

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Naked: A Lenten Reflection


Masaccio, Brancacci Chapel, Adam and Eve, detail.Image via Wikipedia

 8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the LORD God called to the man, “Where are you?”

10 He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”

11 And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?”

12 The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”

13 Then the LORD God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”

The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

Genesis 3:8-13 (NIV)

The story of Adam and Eve, our first parents, is a story often told and one that we all know. God made Adam, than Eve, Eve ate of the fruit and gave it to Adam. God came for His walk in the garden, with Adam and Eve, and Adam and Eve hid… Why, because they were naked…

Naked, meaning nothing to cover them, yes, but no. Naked has a deeper meaning here, the nakedness they felt was manifested on the outside, but was truly on the inside. The shame they felt was not a shame of the body, but a shame of the soul, for they now understood good and evil, they now knew what it was like to sin, and the soul was shamed.

We all are naked before the Lord, for He sees everything, there is nothing He does not know, for He created us and loves us. We are all sinners and we all, at some point feel shame for our actions.

Adam and Eve fashioned fig leaves together to cover their shame, they hid themselves from the sight of God, but God could see them and He questioned them. The first reaction, blame others… Eve the snake, Adam the woman. But who truly sinned, who was truly to blame, Adam, the first man, the first priest. His Church, the garden, under his care, all that God has created. Adam was given guardianship over Gods creation. How do I know this, what makes me say this, God had Adam name all the creatures of earth. To name something is to care for it. We, as parents, name our children, and in doing so, take on the responsibility of caring for and nurturing and protecting that child. Adam was given the same responsibility. God created Eve from Adam, flesh of my flesh blood of my blood, as Adam put it. So Eve was of Adam and of God, but Adam was of God only. Adam was the first priest, his church, the garden, his flock, all of Gods creation. As the priest, he was charged with protection all with in his domain, all of Gods creations, and all within the garden. By allowing the devil to enter into the Garden, Adam had failed, he had fallen asleep at the gate and allowed Eve to be tempted. Adam had sinned.

The nakedness of humanity had started, sin has entered our world and all the lies to cover up our nakedness had become part of our humanity. We may not use fig leafs to cover our nakedness anymore, but we still cover up nerveless.

Stories of priest falling asleep on the job is not just a Adam story, we experience it today. The news stories if Priest abusing their powers, embezzling money and of course the sex scandal. But that is only the Priest we identify, in truth, we Catholics, all of us, are priest (lower case p), by our very Baptism we are priest, profit and  king. We are Adams of our own gardens, and we have dominion over all with in it, our children, pets, family’s and communities. Have we fallen asleep at our gates? Have we let the snake into our gardens? As a fallen race, I would venture to guess the answer is yes, we have allowed the snake in, but have we allowed the snake to tempt us? Once again I would have to say yes, we have, we all have because we all are human and being so means we all have failed, we all have sinned. But now comes the next question, what have you done about it? Have you just allowed the snake to take over or have you worked diligently to exterminate the snake?

The garden of Eden was paradise, but man, in his imperfections, allowed evil to enter within its gates. He allowed it because he allowed his ego to control him actions, his desire to be more than what he is became his downfall and we are still dealing with it today. Our ego is the snake and our lies are the fig leafs and our shame the nakedness.

The Cross of Redemption has opened of the gates of Heaven, but the gates of the Garden of Eden are still locked to us, someplace on earth paradise sits, but we are too vain to see it, our eyes are covered over with our own vanity, that we could not see it even if we were standing in the middle of it. Our inequities blind us to the perfection of Eden and keep us in  a state of nakedness.

Christ, the new Adam, has redeemed us and renewed our priesthood with His body and blood. His suffering was the down payment and His death the price, he purchased our salvation and guaranteed its delivery through His resurrection. Adam came into this world naked, than trough sin covered up his nakedness, Christ died upon the cross naked to defeat the sin that Adam introduced.

Lent offers us a time to expose ourselves before God, to remove the fig leafs and stand naked before our God. A time to ask for forgiveness and a time to receive it. Like Adam, we all have allowed sin to enter into our lives, we all have allowed our ego to control our actions,but unlike Adam we have the promise of salvation. Adam, by covering himself in sin, closed the gated of Heaven to us, but Christ, but uncovering the sin, exposing Himself to our sins, has open the gates of Heaven to us. We must work hard in our gardens to eradicate the snake, to remove it from our gardens to till the soil and plant the seeds of forgiveness and love. Use this Lenten session to do a bit of gardening, attend the Sacrament of Confession, make peace with your soul and tend to your garden.

God Bless & Happy Lent

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

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Posted by on March 12, 2012 in Catholic, church, Death, Ego, Faith, Lent, Life, Religon

 

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