RSS

Tag Archives: hard

I was Raised in a Home…


I was born and raised in a home that thought respect was a good thing, that children showed respect to their elders, at all times, regardless of what the child thought of them.

I was raised in a home where manners was a requirement to eat at the dinner table, for everyone, guest included.

I was raised in a home were we, the children, understood that the adults had more privileges than us, that they, the adults, earned it, and we had not.

I was raised in a home were No meant No, where crying, pouting and other such behavior only made things worse.

I was raised in a home were good grades were expected, not rewarded and bad grades were punished not excused.

I was raised in a home with one TV that my mom and dad controlled, and we, the kids were privileged to use it, and that privilege could be taken away at anytime.

I was raised in a home were the car was something you asked permission to borrow, unless you bought your own, and even than the privilege to drive that car, or any other car could be striped away.

I was raised in a home were the parents were the parents, not the best friends, were the law of the land was at the discretion on said parents, not up for discussion. The parents ran the household, not the children, the parents enforced the rules, not the child and the parent had first, second and last say in all matters concerning my upbringing until I moved out of the house.

I was raised in a loving home with two parents who fought and argued and sometimes made mistakes. They sometimes punished when it was not fair they sometimes refused to understand my side and they sometimes just had not time for my little boy concerns, they had adult concerns. They had the bills to pay and the other 4 siblings to look after. They had the car repairs to look after and the groceries to buy. Sometimes my major life event was just to hard for them to see or understand.

I was raised in a home were sometimes my parents forgave me to quickly or overlooked my faults, were sometimes they put aside their concerns for the bills and food, just to spend time with me on the floor playing or going for a walk in the snow. Sometimes they saw no one but me.

I was raised in a home with understanding and misunderstanding under the same roof, were pride and disappointment could be seen side-by-side and were love was found in the smile of my frustrated parents.

I was raised in a home were the problems of the house hold, the adult problems, were not shared, the burden was not unloaded upon my shoulders, were the concerns of finding the money was never mine.  Were the house payment or loss of a job was dealt with in the wee hours of the night, with the children sleeping soundly.

I was raised in a home were childhood was nurtured and allowed to grow, were Santa existed and the back yard was window into the world of imagination.

My parents were not perfect, I was not perfect nor were my brothers and sisters, we were, simply put, a family learning how to live and grow with each other. I grew up knowing that I will not get everything I ask for, everything I want, but I will always have everything I need. The latest pair sneakers were a want, not a need, and I learned this lesson early in life. Were the lessons always painless, no, sometimes my little mind could not grasp the value at hand, what did I know of house payments or layoffs, this was not my concern as a child, it was the concern of my parents and there friends. Hard or easy, the lesson was there, and I am sure, more often than not, it was harder for my parents than for me.

This blog was to be about the problem with youth today, all the violence and just plain bad attitude, it was to offer a solution to the problem, to help find creative ways to deal with youth gone wild. The first few I was raised lines were to be lead-ins to the issues facing parents and communities, but like all good blogs, this one has a mind of its own, and turned into a tribute to my childhood, my parents and how I was raised.

Life was not perfect, my dad was laid off a few times from the automotive industry, we struggled to survive and we had our good and bad moments. I remember eating raw potato’s as a snack, I though nothing of it as a kid. I love them, little did I know it was because my parents could not afford the chips and other junk food my friends had. To me, a raw potato with salt was as good, if not better than a bag of chips. I still love them today. My parents didn’t bother us kids with such things, if we did ask such question pertaining to bills or other money concerns we were told, more often than not, that it was none of our concerns. We did not know nor understand the struggles and sacrifices our parents made, I, for I cannot speak for my siblings, never knew we had money concerns I just knew that the shoes I really wanted were too much, so I had to get the off brand ones, and I never had an issue with that, to me they were all the same.

A parents job is to provide and protect, to provide food, shelter and love and to protect us from harm as best they can. There job is not to give us our every want, to shower us with gifts or money, their job is not to treat us like little adults and burden us with adult sized issues. Our shoulders are not broad enough to hold such a load.

I was raised in a home of imperfections and blemishes, were wrong was sometimes right and yes was sometimes no.

I was raised in a home… A home that I am proud to call my own, a home that my parents built, not out of brick and stone, but out of love and concern. Our walls may not have been perfect, the floors may have creaked and yes, sometimes the wind may have blown through the cracks and crevasses. This home was in Detroit and The Irish Hills, it was in Clinton and Ann Arbor, it was in Canton and Westland and now it is with in me. My parents where not perfect and our home was lived in many houses, but it was always home.

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

Enhanced by Zemanta
 
 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

So, tell me about yourself (How I hate that)


Charlie Brown

Charlie Brown (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Have you ever sat down and plotted out a course of action for your current work position? I am sure many of you have and think nothing of it. But for me its one of the hardest things to do. There are two things I hate, one is having to write or talk about myself. In every ministry class or self-improvement class I have ever taken, that is almost always one of the first tasks. Call it what you like “selling yourself” “listing your gifts” or just bragging, what ever you want to call it, to me its hard and to tell the truth, some what silly. But, I know of many people who thrive on that, create the list even when they don’t have to, drop it into what ever they are saying or writing. Any chance to shine and they will.

I remember once, when I was part owner of a store, the three partners all happen to be at the store at the same time, and a salesman walked it. He was, as expected, extremely friendly and knew how to sell. He didn’t start off with”would you like to buy this” but rather with “So tell me a little about yourselves”. Very smart move, great way to open up a sales pitch. So I started with the basics, I was a youth minister and part owner of the store, partner number two, same thing, partner number three, had to mention every church they worked at, every school they even considered going to and every degree they might have even given a thought to. Her introduction, 10 min, mine and the other partner, maybe 2 minutes max.  The salesman, he really didn’t care, he was just hoping for an opening, and he found it, in partner number 3.

Why partner number 3, because he know that she would also be open to flattery. And with the power of flattery, her ego would be stroked and with her ego stroked, all reason and defenses would be out the window. Our only saving grace, I was the person in charger of purchasing all gift items, partner number 3 was in charge of the money and partner number 3, book. So we were safe, ego stroked or no stroke.

What does that have to do with stating your gifts or talents or what ever. To me its all about ego, and for anyone who has read my blogs over the years knows what I think about the ego, I have no use for it. Ego is Edging God Out, and is the root of all evil. I find no value in stroking your own ego, nor in having others stroke it for you. This has caused me many issues in the past, I have a hard time “selling’ myself, because I find it hard to talk about what I am capable to do, were my strengths lies, I am much more at ease talking about my deficits and what I lack.

My action plan for work is similar to this, I am being asked to define what I want, were I want to be and how I need to get there. This is a hard task for me. The issue is, I love what I do, but I am extremely unhappy in how it is done.

I am a technical instructor for a major PLM software, I write and deliver the course. I have been doing this for over 15 years, and must say I have gotten very good at it. Am I the best, depends on who you ask, am I the worst, same thing, depends on who you ask. I know I am good at what I do, and I also know I love what I do. But… Doing the same thing over and over and over can get to you. Fighting the same battles day in and day out gets old and feeling that you have no control over it, well that, to me, is the kicker. So this current task my company is asking for, my development plan, is suppose to help me achieve my goals. But what are my goals, were do I want to be in 6 month, one year or five years from now? Hard to say.

My interest is not software, I am not a programing nerd, I am a teacher that happens to teach software. I was lucky to walk into this job, allowing me to use what ever skills I may happen to have as a teacher, to teach software. I love the creative process of teaching and developing the courseware. But I would be just as happy teaching paper folding  as I am teaching software. In truth, I love to teach, plane and simple. So were do I go from here.

Do I decide its time to change gears, quit and find a new job teaching, giving up 15 years with the company, leaving my many friends and the comfort of what I know? Or do I find ways to make this work, stick it out and hope for the best? This is the dilemma, and this is why I hate having to do this.

The frustration is with myself and work, but more with myself. I understand and know, internally, that I have the power within me to fix it. I can accept it or not. If I accept it, than I have to stop the bitching about it, move on and keep on keeping on. If I decide to not accept it, than I have to fix it or leave. Either way accept or not, I have to get over it and move on.  And that is what this document represents to me, I have to decide what I want and articulate it in this document. And I don’t want to face it, I don’t want to think about it, but I am being forced to.

 

In away, I am feeling like Charlie Brown, I know I am unhappy, but I just don’t know why. I need my Linus,

Sometimes questions . “So, tell me about yourself”, “where do you see yourself in five years”, are questions you need to hear, even when we don’t like them. I know that this task set before me is driving me nuts, but I also know it is something that I have to face, sooner rather than later.

God Bless and Happy Lent

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

Enhanced by Zemanta
 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 26, 2012 in Ego, Life, work

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sometimes simple is well enough


grilledcheese-main_FullSomething’s should not be messed with, some traditions are sacred and should remain untouched. But there are always some who feel a little twist here and a little change here makes things better. Take, for example all the restaurants that feels a need to “fix” the American classic, grilled cheese. A simple delight as it is, but some feel a need to “spice it up” change it around and make it “new and improved”. Hogwash! That’s what I say. It worked as it was, it was simple and delightful… Two slices of white bread, 2 slices of American cheese, slap some butter on the bread and grill… Simple and good as it is. No need to add aged cheese from the basement of some monastery in some obscure town in Europe, or artisan bread that coast as much as a new car. Sometimes simple is better.

When I travel to Germany and visit my good friends there, we always make time to have some nice home cooked foods. He is a marvelous cook, and can create some very fancy meals. We seem to always have one posh meal before I leave to return home. But off all the meals, the simple poor man dishes are the best. Simple pasta dishes or the working mans German dinners. They are simple, flavorful and, well, comforting. As food should be…

This also applies to other areas of life, such as family or religious  traditions. Why mess with proven ways… Why change just for the sake of change? What progress is there in that?

Last weekend I took a coworker and friend from Mexico to Downtown Detroit, to show him the sights and he2779515265_e153eaa2e6 wanted to get a hat from the Detroit Hard Rock Café. As part of my fifty cent tour of Detroit we walked to Fox Town, where the Fox Theater is. What a theater it is, it is one of the most beautiful I have ever seen, it truly is the gem of Detroit. Currently the Fox has a production of Irving Berlin‘s “White Christmas”. One of my all time favorite movies. I mean what’s not to like, Bing sinning White Christmas, as only he can and Danny Kaye dancing and, well, being Danny Kaye. A simple story line, clean humor and best of all, it’s just a good plain simple feel good movie. One that I watch all year-long…

As part of our night in Detroit, we decided to take in the play, enjoy the sounds of Christmas and experience the Fox in all her glory. the Fox did not let us down, she is a majestic ornate theater and she was all done up for Christmas. What a sight!

But the same cannot be said about the play…

Why change a classic? Why make it what it is not? Why add to what is perfect?

whiteAll theses questions where running through my head as I watched this thing unfold. Was it a bad musical, not, the actors were fine and the singing was good, but was it “White Christmas”, nope, they could have called this play anything they wanted…. And maybe I would have enjoyed it more if it was not called White Christmas.

What did they do to it, they sexualized it, turned Bing’s character in to a fool and Danny’s into a sex hound, made the general an ass and the house keeper his love interest. Why? for what purpose? The story was fine as it was. Sure I understand that you need to rewrite the move for the stage, but why reinvent the characters? Like the grilled cheese, an American classic, so it White Christmas. It was simple, and decent, it was and is one of the finest movies made, yet the producers of the play felt a need to update it, to bring it into the 21st century. To what ends? For what purpose? None that I can see. Sometimes simple is well enough.

In a world full of complex situations and over sexed everything, sometimes sitting on the couch wrapped in a blanket and watching White Christmas while eating a simple grilled cheese sandwich is all we need. Sometimes simple is the best way to go.

 

God Bless

Paul

Enhanced by Zemanta
 
3 Comments

Posted by on November 15, 2011 in History, Just for Fun, Life

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Fairness is not Fair


A stylized representation of a red flag, usefu...

Image via Wikipedia

The excitement for November 2nd is building, the new possibilities for our Nation, for our States, Towns and Cities. November of 2010 can be known as the day we, the citizens of America, chose to take back our Government. The day we decided that personal responsibility is more important than Government hand-outs. The day that we decided that a hand-up is what we needed all-along.

The Democratic party claimed to be the party of the people, the party with a heart, the party that truly cares for the poor and underdogs of the American fabric. Yet all there polices and actions are contrary to there rhetoric. The parry of compassion has done more damage to our Great Nation than any other national organization I know. They are quietly de-constructing the nation, one law, one court appointment, one election at a time. It’s a slow death, one that we hardly notice. It all seems so harmless, what’s wrong with a little hand-out, what’s so bad about a judge legislating from the bench, what harm is there in protecting one under advantage group over another.

Lots is wrong with it, it is a divisive tactic designed to create a class war, to create a sub-set of America, creating division with in the National fabric. And its the perfect plan for the socialistic Democratic Party that is currently in power. Divide and conquer, that’s the battle cry of the Obama administration and the democratic party. They cry for fairness, but only if it means taking form one to give to the other, the chosen ones.

America is fair, each and every person has the same opportunity to archive what they dream and work hard for, that is fair. Unfair is giving more to one who has not earned it, unfair is lowering the standards for one and not the other. Fairness is not equality of outcome, but rather equality of opportunity, and all have the same opportunity.

Sure, not all can attend Harvard, and not all should. Yes some make more money than the other, but that’s ok also. What in life is played on a level playing field, in school some got all A’s others struggle to get C’s and others have no interest in school at all and receive E’s. Is that fair? Yes, you get the grade you deserved.

But some will say, what about the poor student who studies and works hard and only gets a C. That’s tough, but that’s life. Not everyone is A material, some are just C’s. I read a story, said to be true, of a collage professor who was teaching an economics class, the students were arguing that a socialistic “fair” society was what America needed, that we had to many poor and under achieving citizens. That the rich were just to rich and the poor just to poor. The rich should give up there riches and the poor should be given the money with no effort on there part. So this bright professor decided to put into action the socialist ideals in his class. He said that everyone would receive the same over all grade, based on the class average. The students were pleased, and figured they have won the argument, and this sill, capitalistic teacher would learn his lesson. The fist test, the class average was a B. The A students were not happy, but the C,D and E students were pleased. The A students felt they deserved an A for all the hard work and effort they put in to the test. But as a socialistic class, the average was a B, so all got the same regardless of effort. The next test the average was a C. The C and D students from the last test decided that they did not have to work as hard as before, because the A and B students will carry them, so the average dropped. This infuriated not only the A students as before but also the B students, who now say there hard work going punished. As you may have expected the class average continued to drop as more and more students become lethargic and discontent. By the end of the term the whole class had proceeded to fail. Not one student passed the class, the professor stated he felt for the students, but he kept the grade as they were, and felt a valuable lesson was learned.

Hard work must be rewarded and laziness must not go on unpunished. Now please understand that I know that not all C and D students are lazy, for some it just comes harder than for others. And I know that not all A and B students have to study all night, I understand that for some it just seems to come easy. But once again that is life. Should we, as a society, demand that out athletes play “fair”, fair as in the way the democratic liberal socialistic party defines it, that all are equal or should we just accept that some teams are better than others? What fun would a ball game be if we knew that the end result would always be a tie, and all teams are in the world series, and all teams win, resulting in all players receiving a world series ring? Not much fun at all, I would rather go to the ball park anticipating a win, a good game or even an upset. At least I know that the players had to give there all, and if not, well the cards will fall were they may.

The American people have been sold an idea that fairness means equality of out-come, and that has never been, nor will it ever be fair. It is, at best, rigged, and at its worst, theft. We have robbed our society of ethics and pride and replaced it with entitlement and sloth. We have created a nation that is dependent upon the government to provide for there basic needs. But now we are even demanding that they provide for our wants along with our needs.

Obama and his comrades will bend over backwards to provide this for the American people, not because he cares for the people, but rather because the more you depend upon him, the more power he is able to take. Entailments are not free, the cost the American people freedom and freewill, they make us dependent upon the federal government for our basic needs and wants. And no were in history has this ever worked, and nor will it ever work. Look at the classroom example from above, the hardworking students were punished for there hard work and the under achievers were rewarded. The end result, all became under achievers. The last two weeks of class, the A and B students didn’t even bother to show up, they saw no point in it. The great experiment worked perfectly, when you provide for everyone “fairly” no one wins.

Fairness is not equality of outcome, but equality of opportunity. Fairness means that sometimes tome will lose and others will win. Our efforts must be rewarded and our failures must not be, the idea that all players receive a trophy at they end of the little league session is nothing but an indoctrination into the group think mentality that the socialist need to achieve there over all goal of total control over the population. America is on her way, just stop and look around, individual thought is being replaced by political correctness. We are not free to think and speak as we please, for fear of hurting someones feelings. We must be inclusive in all we do or we are considered to be phobic of some sort. Silliness has hit the American psyche and we have allowed it. We are becoming less and less American and more and more European. And that would be fine, if we were European, but we are not, we are Americans!

This November 2nd your voice must be heard, we must retake what is ours, and it all starts on November 2, 2010 and will continue until November 2012, when we vote out the socialist and vote in an American, who believes hard work must be rewarded not punished.

 

God Bless

Paul

Enhanced by Zemanta
 
 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Our Last Freedom


"The last of the human freedoms is to choose your attitude in any given set of circumstances." -Victor Frankl

 

For anyone who has ever read this blog or my other blog, you know that freedom is a major theme for me. Often times I use the word Authentic Freedom because we all to often mix up what we believe is freedom to what freedom really is. Well I think Mr. Frankl got it right!

Freedom is a slippery thing and has many sides, but we still are the masters of it and we decide how we choose to use or abuse it or is some cases how we neglect it or abandon it. 

I have long been a believer in the you make your own destiny, we choose to react to situations in a way that will give us the outcome we desire. I have seen two people process the same information yet each will tell you a completely different story and will react to it in an almost predictable way. A negative person will always find the bad, the down in any situation and they will project that feeling in to the situation causing it to be a negative feeling or outcome. Were as a positive person will take a negative and turn it in to a positive, they will find the positive in any situation and project that emotion in to the situation causing a more positive outcome. It truly is in our control, I myself have seen it and have participated in it,as have we all.

So what makes one positive and one negative? Why would one choose to be negative? Well there are many reasons or theories:

  • Genetics
  • Hard wiring in the mind
  • Life experiences
  • Attention
  • Born that way
  • Just want to be

All are valid and I thing in some small ways all are true and all play a roll in it. And the same can be said for the positive person, all the same valid reasons are just as true for the positive person, what I think it comes down to is this. I choose to be positive or negative because from being one over the other I gain greater joy, greater pleaser. Yes the negative person gains joy from there negatives. If they did not they would not be negative. Just like a smoker gains pleasure from smoking, a negative person gains please from the negativeness of there life. They create it and nurture it, so they must enjoy it. Now some may be saying well that’s just silly, no one would choose to be negative, but really is it that silly of a concept? People choose to be whipped and chained up for sexual pleasure, and most of us would have to say that, that doesn’t sound like pleasure to us. But to them it is, to them it is a great pleasure the pain turns them on. If this is so, than it stands to reason that a negative person must gain pleasure from there negativeness or they would not be negative.

It is our choosing, our freedom to choose our response to anyone given situation. This freedom to determine our reaction is one of the greatest freedoms we have, it truly is an authentic freedom. We read about people in horrific situations, Nazi concentration camps, torture chambers and such, yet we also hear of the love they felt or offered or the sacrifice they gave and the positive out look on life they still maintained.

The film “I am David” is a perfect example of how our outlook on situations will determine the outcome of the situation. It tells the story of a young boy who, with the help of a prison guard, escapes from a concentration camp in Eastern Europe, and of his journey to Denmark. Along the way he meets interesting people and has many adventures. In this movie David has a very negative outlook on life, with valid reasons, and yet he is met with some very positive opportunities that turn negative, based on his projection unto them. In the film David grows, and as he does, his negativeness changes in to a more positiveness, causing the events in his life to become more positive. Yes I know its a film, but the concept is the same.

We control our outcome, we determine the reaction we choose to give to any given situation. Life is full of opportunities to see good or evil, positive or negative it’s in our power to see it as we please, it is our last freedom, one that no one can take form us.

Paul

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 28, 2009 in Change, Control, Faith, Improvement, Life, Self

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Thomas


How easy it is for us to say “I would have more faith if I was there, If I would have saw Jesus walking around after His crucifixion.”  or “If I was Thomas, I wouldn’t have doubted” Playing a Monday morning quarter back is easy, 2000 years later.

But would we, would we really have believed? Stop and really think about it, give it some time to really sink in…. Two thousand years ago people looked for signs in everything, you read history and we see this. This is one of the main reasons the pagans had so many god’s, they needed ways to explain, what to them was the unexplainable, but to us is just modern science. So would you have really believed something that was so unnatural, something that was truly supernatural? Hard question to answer, but one we all must think about.

We are fast to look at others and to point out their faults, to see others as week or unbelievers, yet are we truly that different than Thomas? Thomas walked with Jesus daily, he ate with him, and broke bread with him. They were friends and spent 3 years together. Thomas hear Jesus speak of His resurrection, saw the miraculous things Jesus did, but he still doubted. Why? Why would Thomas doubt the power of the Lord?

We think we would be different than Thomas, but would we be? Would we really have believed what we saw with our own two eyes? How often do we not believe our own eyes? How often do we not trust what we see? Thomas was human, he too saw with human eyes? So what made Thomas any different than Peter or any of the others? Why did they believe with out seeing, and Thomas did not? 

Maybe Peter and the others who did not see Jesus at the tomb were looking with there hearts and not there eyes? Maybe faith had more to do with our hearts than our minds, maybe Thomas was just to practical to see what was unseeable.  But that’s all of us, it is hard to believe in what we can not see, at one point all us stop believing in magic and look for the reality of it all, how sad.

But what is encouraging is the fact that we have the example of Thomas in the bible. He was there and still had difficulty believing. Thomas, in some ways, is all of us, we all have moments were we ask God to show us proof that He is, just one little sign and we will never ask again. Thomas did the say, he told his friends that he needed to see Jesus, to put his finger in the wounds to truly believe. What one of us has not asked the same? Sure the request may be a little different, we may ask Jesus to show us a sign, but the idea is the same, we want tangible proof, much like Thomas did.

In essence Thomas was saying to God, “Prove it” and than I will follow. Don’t we say that almost daily in our lives, don’t we look for the clues that will prove it to us.

I know I do in my own way, over the weekend the Discovery Channel and NatGeo channel were running shows concerning the bible and the life of Jesus, each trying to prove or disprove bible stores or Jesus himself. I love to watch them, they interest me, but I am sure it is because I am looking for that one clue that will prove it to all, that one find that will tell the world Jesus was and is real and He is the Son of God.

We all look for that proof, it’s part of our fallen nature, we can not conceive of a being greater than ourselves, with out a struggle. Our minds look for evidence, looks for the order in the universe and Jesus tosses a monkey wrench in to that order. Or at least a Jesus who is crucified and raises from the dead 3 days later does. If he was just a great man, we could believe in that, but a God, well that’s something different. Our mind has a harder time think about what is not there, what is not tangible and Thomas was no different in that respect.

Thomas has something to teach all of us, he offers us a view of ourselves in our moments of doubt. We want that proof, but like Thomas, who in the end did not need to place his finger in the wounds to believe, we too, some how find the faith.

Paul

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on April 13, 2009 in Called by God, Easter, Faith, Life

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Living Self


One of the reasons I love to travel is that I get the opertnity to meet eiht all my co-workers from around the world. It is the one time I get to get direct feedback on the books I write, and also allows for a conversation that is flowing freely. What a wounderful feeling that is. Sure the conversation is mostly about work stuff, but because it is live, and not email it allows for the personality of each to enter in to the conversation. I love it!

Because I have formed friendships with many of the trainers over the seas, they feel free to say what is on there minds. That is an important part of any friendship. Speaking ones mind allows others to always know where they stand and where you stand. Sure you have to be tactful, but you still need to speak what is one your mind.

Not all friends are that way, I know I am, for the most part. Sometimes I don’t speak my mind because it will serve no purpose, for them or myself, so why bother, other times I just don’t want to be bothered with it. But 9 times out of 10 I do say what is on my mind, regardless of what others may think.

Now I know some will say I should not do this, I could hurt others feelings, that is true, it is never my intention, but it happens. But in the long run I think it is much better my way than not. The friend knows where i stand, and if they are truly your friend, they should understand that you mean no harm, but often times the truth hurts.

Look at today’s youth, we (well most adults, not I) shelter them from the truth, if they suck at sports we tell them they are great, if they cant sing we tell them they should be on American Idol, how is that helping them? I know some will say we are helping them build up confidance in self, BULL! All we are doing is helping them build up a lie!

The truth hurst for a little bit, but a lie goes on and on…

So do i tell that child they suck, no thats harsh, but I can say something like, “Singing is not your strong point, why not try something else” or “You played hard today in the game, you gave it your best shot, good job” both are true not a lie, and in the long run both will help build up the child in a truthful way, making them stronger and more ready to deal with the read world, rather than one that places them up high.

Think about it, if we only say what people want to hear, what are we really doing to them? We are setting them up to fall, life is not that way. At work I hear lots of things I don’t like or want to hear, but such is life. I have to learn to deal with it and move on. I have a choice to make, use the infomation to improve myself or let it be. Either way it is up to me. If all my life I was told I did not wrong, I was great at everything and the world revolved around me, I at this moment in my life would not be sitting in the UK, I would be a failure. Life is nut fair, nor is it always just, but life can be truthful, or at least  part of it can be. We owe it to ourselves and others to always tell the truth. As the old saying goes, “The Truth Will Set You Free”… I know this to be true, once you accept the truth of yourself, you are free to be yourself, regardless of who others wish you to be.

Living the truth is hard, but the reward is great! So what is the reward you may ask… The reward is knowing that you are living true to self, and not to someone else. Will there be hard times, you bet, but so what!

Self is always better than other. I live true to who I am, like me or not, this is who I am!

Paul

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on November 12, 2008 in Change, Control, Faith, Improvement, Life, Self

 

Tags: , , , , ,

Top Ten


  1. Can I really be happy in a world that is so messed up?
  2. Can I really change in a world that expects me to act a certain way?
  3. Can I really work hard and enjoy life?
  4. Can things really be a simple as some say and as difficult as others believe?
  5. Can mind over matter really make me a better person?
  6. Can positive thing positively make me change?
  7. Can I work on change, but still be the same?
  8. Can reading self-help books and blogs really make a difference?
  9. Can one deep breath really cleanse me of all bad feelings and emotions?
  10. Can I really change?

 

The ten questions can all be answered with one word YES! Yes you can change just because you want to, in a world gone bad (and really it has not gone bad), and yes you can use mind over matter, and yes reading my blog can help…

 

Change is a state of mind; it is a condition of the heart. Nothing is beyond our reach; all we have to do is stretch ourselves…

 

Life truly is what you make of it, and I believe that with my whole being, it is my essence, and my mantra of life.

 

So start today, and make life what you want it to be, just keep in mind, that others are doing the same, so we have to allow our beingness to interact with there beingness.

 

Paul

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on April 24, 2008 in Change, Control, Faith, Improvement, Life, Self

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

It's hard to blog…


It’s hard sometimes to think of new things to write about, I have two blogs and I make it a point to post to each of them everyday, well now I don’t post of the weekends, because I need a little break from that, to do the other obligations I have.

 

And some days I really don’t know what to blog about, but I still do it, I create something, it may be crap, but I still create it and post it. I think it’s an important process for me, to post daily, even when I don’t want to, I keeps my mind sharp, I know I have to come up with something, and it helps me sharpen my skills. Writing in not one of my favorite things to do; I like to be creative, to write just for me, but to write for others, to post it to a blog, so anyone can see it…now that’s a different thing. If it was giving a talk everyday, that would be no problem, I love to talk, to teach and to give speeches, but writing… Not my favorite thing.

 

But part of growing is doing things you don’t want to do, to force that habit, and to make it stick, to push the sides of the box you have placed yourself in, and to break out of it, expand your horizons and seek new directions. To make yourself new, you need to be willing to do what it is you don’t like to do, and for me its writing.

 

So I do practice what I teach, I believe in what I write, and hope others do too. I hope my craft of writing has improved, and I hope it will continue to enlighten me in ways I never thought it would, and I hope it does the same for you.

 

Paul

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on April 14, 2008 in Change, Control, Faith, Improvement, Life, Self

 

Tags: , , ,

 
The Christian Gazette

Spreading The Gospel

fernOnline blog speaks

fernOnline: Expression of self while looking, listening, learning & laughing

HarsH ReaLiTy

My goal with this blog is to offend everyone in the world at least once with my words… so no one has a reason to have a heightened sense of themselves. We are all ignorant, we are all found wanting, we are all bad people sometimes.

who is the god of heaven

Just another WordPress.com site

BlahDiary

the inside scoop of the BlahDiary team

MesAyah - From Pen To Mouth

Nas meets Peter Gabriel for conversations about life

Career Strategies For Women

COACHING YOU TO SUCCEED | coachme@lionssharecoaching.com | 781-670-7090

VINE AND BRANCH WORLD MINISTRIES.COM

Taking the World one soul at a time

Thisbloghasbeenshutdown

A fine WordPress.com site

Politikon Review

Free speech for a free world

who is the God of heaven ? the jesus I never knew.

life is not a rehersal,so live it...if you cant be the poet, be the poem.

Bob Rice

Catholicism, Culture, Creativity

Justice Musings

A lamp made ready. I would strengthen you with my (words). Job 12:5 & 16:5

Dr Nicholas Jenner PsyD MA

Psychologist, Online Therapist and Counselor

An American Point of View

Just an American that loves his Country and his Faith

carpe diem

vie telle qu'elle est

conservativetickler

Just another WordPress.com site

Voting American

God Bless The United States of America

You Can Be New

Making Changes that will Change your life!

%d bloggers like this: