Seven tasks to change your life

Sometimes I like to give tips on what you can do to help improve your life, so today I thought I would do just that. We all have read or heard top ten list, we have them for everything, but all to often they are hard to follow, or in truth, they are the top ten topics, each containing 10 to-do items. Well I’m not going to do that, I am going to give you a list of actual action items that you can do today, and my list is not going to be the top 10 of anything, but a much more manageable list of 7, one for each day of the week. You decide in what order they go and the priority they deserve, who knows you better than yourself, definitely not me.

You know yourself, even if you don’t think you do, so this list is going to help you, daily, define and refine yourself. Follow it with persistence and I guarantee you will see a new and better you in no time.

What you will need

1. Outlook or any email that will send you notification
2. Journal or Blog
3. The desire to make change in your life
4. A good attitude

 

A good Attitude

 

A good attitude is paramount to this plan, you must approach the daily tasks with a positive upbeat outlook, or the daily task is dead before you even begin. How we approach things is often times more important that what we are approaching. If we approach any task with a negative attitude we defeat the purpose before we even start, regardless of the task. For example, if our task is simple to clean the house, our attitude will determine our enjoyment of the task. If we look at house cleaning as a negative, we will, by our very nature, dread the task, we will clean it not because we see value in it, but because we know we must. For anyone who have children you know what I am talking about. How often do we say to our kids “If you would put as much effort into doing _____(what ever it is) as you do in trying not to do it, you would be done with it”. Be it homework or taking out the garbage. We instinctively know that how we approach any task determines the outcome.

We have all seen this in action, the person at work whom we know are not as smart or talented as us, yet they seem to get all the breaks. They seem to take each assignment in stride and with a smile. Often times, in the workplace, school or just life in general, the person who shows more initiative or “spunk” gets the choice assignments or the “break” that we, ourselves, were striving for. It’s all in our attitude, how we are perceived. So we must, if we truly want to see change, approach each and every tasks with a positive attitude, if we desire to see change.

The set up

 

Using your outlook or email account you will enter one task per day, setup automatic notification to be sent to you via your cell phone or email. Each morning when you check your email or your text messages on your phone you will be reminded of your daily task. To help keep you on task you will, at the end of each day, journal about you achievements. You can use the “tried and true” method of pen and paper journaling or start an online blog. I would recommend the blog for a few reasons, 1) Keeping a blog will allow you to access your journal from anywhere, and allow you to update your progress when ever you feel a need. 2) Because it is online, others can read and post comments about your progress. This can be a very useful tool, allowing you to asses the viewpoints of others. But either way is fine, what ever works best for you. Once you have the tools you need, now its time to enter your 7 tasks…

The 7 Tasks

 

1. Read: Spend 30 minutes reading an uplifting or positive book or article. The goal is to read something that will help you improve your life, it can be the bible or self-help book or even an online newsletter that is sent to your email inbox. But set aside 30 minuets on this day to do just that, nothing else, allowing yourself to enter fully into what ever you are reading. If you do this daily, that’s ok also, but it is important to set aside 30 minutes at least once a week to “exercise” your mind.
2. Give: Once a week find somehow to give back to your community, be it at your local church or outreach center or your community schools. Giving is proven to increase your health and provides the giver with much more than they gave. By giving I do not mean money, yes money is needed, but I am talking about time and talent. Find a way to give 30 minuets once a week to your community. Giving does not have to be in an official way, you don’t have to find a volunteer organization to work with, you could just call your child’s teacher and ask if there is anything you can do to help out, maybe even at home or if you can, in the classroom. Be creative.
3. Family: Once a week set aside at least 30 minutes of uninterrupted family time. This means no phones no email and no TV. Go to the park, play a board game, read to your younger children. Anything that is quality time. If you have no kids, than spend the time with your wife or significant other. And if you don’t have that than your brothers or sisters or whom ever you consider family. The idea here is to create quality moments with loved ones, whom ever they are.
4. De-clutter: Once a week pick an area in your home or office to de-clutter, be it your junk drawer or your office desk. Be it a small 5 minute job or a whole weekend job. Clutter in your living and working environment adds clutter to your life. Cleaning out your desk drawers will help you clean out  your mind and soul. We, by our nature, are pack rats, some worse than others, but we all do it. We may think we are not, but it never ceases to amaze me that I can take a carload to Saint Vincent DePaul’s and 6 months later I have more. It seems that’s when we de-clutter the first time, we hold on to some stuff “just incase”, than 6 months later we de-clutter again and realize that “just incase” never happened.
5. Beautify: Look around you and find one place, one spot that needs a “face-lift” needs to be brightened up or just given the once over. Create a container garden for the house or office. Repaint a room or paint your first masterpiece, find someway to add beauty to your daily life. We all have experienced the power of a sunset or the view from a vista that has taken our breath away, remember the feeling and recreate it in your life.
6. Pamper: We all like to be pampered, so once a week pamper yourself. Take yourself out to a fancy dinner, get a manicure or massage. Fine one way each week to indulge yourself. This could be on your own or with someone else. We all know that one thing that makes us feel that something special, do it, enjoy without guilt. It could be as simple as getting that special chocolate you like or just taking a hot bath with a glass of good wine. What ever it is, find it and do it.
7. Stretch: Each week find one way to stretch yourself, to take yourself out of your comfort zone and stretch. Like any exercise, we need to stretch, and changing yourself is no different. Yes, for some all 7 tasks may seem life stretching, and that may be true. But it is important to find new and exciting ways to stretch, just like in a good workout routine, you must change it up or the muscles will get use to the route, and no value will be added. If we only stick to the first 6 task, they will become routine, and that’s fine, we want that, but we also want to keep stretching, and task 7 does just that. If you don’t like public speaking, than volunteer to read to children at the local school or library one week. If you hate politics, attend a political event. What ever it is, what every stretches you, find it and do it, changing it up each week, allowing different “muscles” to be used.

So there you have it, 7 tasks to help you become a better you. So set them as daily reminders in your email and remember to approach each and everyone with a positive attitude. At the end of each day journal about it, how did it make you feel, what did you do, what did you learn about yourself and/or others. The journaling is just as important as the task itself, the process of journaling allows you to process the task, forces you to look deeper in to it and often times allows you to see things you never would have with out the journaling.

God Bless

Paul

Get a Life Coach to help you achieve your goals…

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Lessons for a Centurion

“Surely he was the Son of God!”  ^{Matthew 27:54}

The above quote is from the Gospel of Matthew. It is a simple quote, only 7 words, but the depth of the statement has sounded through-out history. It transcends time and is forever resonating in all times.

Last night I read this passage, and for the first time it struck me how much is stated in only a few simple words. Let set the scene:

Jesus is on Calvary, he is nailed to the cross, suffering and near death. All his friends have run off, abandon Him in His time of need, save a few, Mary, his mother, John, the beloved and Mary Magdalene along with Mary the mother of James and Joseph, and the mother of Zebedee’s sons. Mostly the woman in Jesus life are there to comfort him. His crucifixion is a mockery of justice and the roman centurions are making light of it by casting lots for His few earthly belongings. On either side of Him are criminals, one mocking Him, the other asking for forgiveness.

The moment of death arrives, and Jesus offers up His sacrifice, His life for our sins. Most continue to mock but one, the centurion, He feels something, sees something that the others do not, he is moved by a the winds that whip around this place of death, this place of the sculls, Golgotha. The spirit of God descends upon him as the last breath is exhausted from our savior.

Jesus cry’s out it is done and the loan centurion cry’s out it has begun.

A chilling moment for sure. One that I ma sure had a profound effect on all who were there. For some it was shame and guilt, for others it was satisfaction and yet others one of loss. Our centurion, the first convert to the faith, he, I am sure, felt all of the above emotions and more.

Shame for what he has done, for his participation in the crucifixion of the Son of God. Guilt in his understanding of who Jesus was, he was too late to save Him, his conversion was post-mortem. His satisfaction in knowing his life will be forever changed and his sense of loss for not seeing Jesus for who he was when Jesus walked the streets of Jerusalem as a free man.

How many of us are like that centurion, we always seem to come to it, what ever it may be, late. We come to our understanding of forgiveness after we have suffered loss. Loss of a friendship or a loved one. We come to our shame and guilt after the act, what ever act it may be, is completed and we feel the loss when utter despair has set in.

The emotions of Calvary are played out daily in our lives, they are part of our personal, family and faith life. And we too, like the centurion, often times have our conversion once the death has taken place.

But like the centurion, we too can feel a great joy in our hearts knowing that all is not lost. Knowing that Jesus has died so that me may live. Knowing that forgiveness is always there, all we have to do is ask. And knowing that the things of this world are nothing without the King of this world, Jesus Christ, our Savior and Lord.

We too can feel the winds that whip around this place of death, this place of the sculls, Golgotha. The spirit of God descends upon us as the last breath is exhausted from our savior. For this last breath is a timeless breath, one that is exhausted for us for all times…

God Bless

Paul

 

Destiny in a Flux

Image via Wikipedia

Yesterday was Fathers Day, so to all the dad’s Happy Fathers Day! The word dad is a lot larger than the 3 letters that make it up, the word dad encompasses a whole concept and radical idea, or at least in today’s world it seems radical. As of late the media has been hot and heavy on the idea of downplaying the rolls of dad’s in the family life. their have been several articles published about how the man is not a necessary part of family life, and some that have even gone so far as to state that the dad is a detriment to the family. Now I will admit that most have been written by anti-male femi-Nazi’s but still the media has taken and run with it. They have published the reports as if they came from God Himself. They have done what I expected them to do, they have taken an extreme liberal point of view, regardless of the facts, and have pushed it on the collective American conscience as a fact, using political correctness and guilt as its main arguments.

The basic idea of life with out men is not a new one, we saw this in the 60’s and 70’s when the bra burning femi-Nazi’s where in there hey-day, when everyone was all about equality of the female with no regards to the actual differences. We experimented with this with the gender neutral toys and the striping of masculinity from the male species.  They have called murder reproduction rights and sexual deviances as lifestyle choices and have forced their point of view upon us as acceptance or die.

The attacks from the left are nothing new, but to me it seems that with the Obama era in play they have stepped up there attacks, become bolder and more outspoken. they use to hide behind what seemed like sound and sensible laws or ideas, but now the are open and bold about the anti-American and anti-God speak. They boldly claim the truth of there ideas as what they are, and the media eats it up.

It is a sad day when a society can rationalize the uselessness of men in the family life. When we can determine that a male is not necessary and is considered a detriment to the over all health of the family unit. They have or are trying to reduce the male to noting more than a sperm donor an object to be used and than discarded. They have, in their minds, reduced masculinity to a negative attribute, and elevated the femi-Nazi to a status of exalted. It is a sad and sick world when we allow the destruction of manhood.

The next target will be children, they will find a study or create a study that shows having children are a detriment to your health and lifestyle, oh wait, never mind, they already did this and won, it’s call abortion. How can one gender,regardless of sexual orientation, honestly think that the male is, well frankly, disposable? Just basic genetics tell you that a male is needed to keep the human race going. Well unless they have discovered away to reproduce with out the help of a male. Maybe they have uncovered the secret of the A-sexual life style… Who knows…

What I do know is that God created man and woman and it was very good. I do know that as of this point in history it takes one of each to make a new one and I also know that all studies, legitimate studies, prove that a complete traditional family is the best.

Maybe I am over reacting, but I don’t think so, the Obama generation is one hell bent on destroying the fabric of this nation, and now that they have their supreme leader in power they will stop at nothing, not even the truth or real facts will get in their way. They are a frights train on a collision course with destiny, a destiny that is in a flux at the moment.

Destiny in a Flux

What flux is destiny in? And who’s destiny am I talking about?

Second question first, I am referring to the American destiny, our collective destiny, the one that ties us all together as one nation, one people. The same destiny that lead to the discovery of the Americas, to the fight for independence and the beacon of freedom to the world.  A destiny that defines us all as Americans the very same destiny that forged this great nation and created the land of liberty. They very destiny that the Statue of Liberty solutes each and everyday, and the very destiny that millions of refuges seek-out and risk life and limb for daily.

As for the first question, the flux is a paradigm shift of epic size and repercussions. The very fabric of this nation, the fabric that was sown with the treads of Christianity and liberty are being tugged and pulled, the fray is growing and the tear is increasing. The fabric that created the patchwork of America, with its many cultures and distinct interpretations of Her inhabitance is being bleached and patched over with a square of generic color, creating a quilt with no distention, yet all the time the battle cry of diversity is yelped from the hilltops. The flux is increasing its scope and range to now include the masculinity of humanity, relying on only the femininity of creation.

The modern cry of “I am woman, hear me roar” has been changed to “I am woman, no one else matters”.  And the established media seems to be accepting this, more than just acceptance but more of a wholesale purchase of it. And they are more than willing to give out for free to the general public! This sickens me!

The ability for the minority left to gain so much press attention with non-truths and out and out lies never ceases to amaze me. The left has mastered the art of deception to the point of not recognizing the facts or truths of the issues. The lies become reality to the ones who tell the lie enough times. The mantra becomes the common place among the norm of the nation. Yet if the left were to take a true pulse of this nation they would find a very different reality. They would find a reality centered in the Christian tradition with right of center views. Yet they seem to miss this in all the research and reports they produce. the left is an a reality that is all there own. The flux in the forced shit the current administration and his cohorts are forcing upon the American public!

God willing, come this November we will have the courage to take back our country, remove t
he blinders of a Utopia and once again allow America to be who She is distend to be, a leader in the universe who stands for liberty and justice, one who will fight for the freedom of nations and the pursuit of happiness. One where men are not marginalized and where the most vulnerable do not have to fear for there little live before they can even see it.

The reality is simple, if we continue down this road we will not have to concern ourselves with outside terrorist, the femi-Nazis will take care of it all for them.

 

 

God Bless

Paul

Liberal Fascism: The Secret History of the American Left, From Mussolini to the Politics of Meaning

Psalm 91:1“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” Brought to you by BibleGateway.com. Copyright (C) . All Rights Reserved.

 

The Passing of George

Yesterday was the one month anniversary of the passing of one of my best friends. He was only 8 years old, still in the prime of his life. George, my friends name, was my dog. Now some people think it’s sill how some (like me) act when a pet passes. But I was devastated, it was like the loss of a family member, my heart was broken.

Death is never easy to understand or deal with, but for some reason the passing of George hit me hard. George was not the first death I had to deal with, over the past four years I have had to deal with at least one death per year, and most have been between Thanksgiving and Christmas. From the passing of my mom to my 23 year old nephew and just recently my nieces best friend who was only 20 years old [she had a brain tumor as a baby, like my niece and it returned].

But George was different, his death took its toll on me.

Why would the death of a pet hit me so hard? Over the past month I have thought about that very thing, George is still very much on my mind, I still have dreams of his death.

George loved water, I discovered this fact when I installed a small preformed pond in my back yard, and George would attempt to swim in it, but it was to small for him. George was a Cairn  Terrier like Toto from the Wizard of Oz. My love for my dogs knows no bounds, so I had a larger pond built for him, so he could swim. He was a very happy dog, he loved to go swimming. He looked forward to summer when it was warm enough to swim. In the winter the pond froze over, but not completely, I have fish and turtles in the pond, so I have a bubbler to keep the water moving in the winter. the ice can be thin, but I never concerned myself with it, George never went on the ice in the winter. But this past February he did, and it was his fatal mistake.

I am not sure what happened or how it happened, but I found George floating in the pond were their was no ice. All I can figure is this; we had a lot of new snow fall, the pond was covered in snow and George did not realize he was walking on the pond, fell in and he must have went under the ice and drowned. George was a good swimmer, he would have gotten out if he could have.

I found him shortly after it happened, with in two hours of his death. I was the one who pulled him out. The image remains in my mind, the image of him floating in the water, on his side…..

I think the reason I am having difficulty with his death is because I was the one responsible for him, he was totally dependent on me, I let him down.

All the other deaths I have had to deal with I had no control over but George is different. I keep telling myself, “if only I would have looked for him sooner” or “If only I put a fence up in the winter to keep him out of the pond” and “If only I never built that pond”.

A lot of “If onlys” a lot of guilt.

In my mind I know that there was nothing I could do, I built the pond for him because he loved it so much and for years he was one happy dog. I would not change that for a moment. But in my heart I still feel the pain of guilt.

Loss is hard but I know that George enjoyed a very happy life, how many people build a home around their dogs? I did, and I will continue to do so. God created animals for humans, we were given the job of protecting them and loving them. Pets are family and George will be missed.

St. Frances received a lot of prayers for George on February 11 for George. I know the teaching of the Church is dogs do not go to heaven, that they had no souls, but I chose to believe that is because no saint or Pope has ever has a pet like mine. I am sure I will find George in heaven swimming in the pond and waiting for me to come back home.

God Bless

Paul

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Bible Verse of the day

2 Peter 1:4“Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.”Brought to you by BibleGateway.com. Copyright (C) . All Rights Reserved.

God Listens When You’re Sad: Prayers When Your Animal Friend Is Sick Or Dies

 

Defending the Faith…Purgatory

Purgatory

The Catholic faith teaches that when we die we will either spend entirety in Heaven or Hell, if we are to spend it in Heaven we must first cleanse ourselves to make our souls pure, for nothing impure will enter in to heaven. The teaching of Purgatory is not just a made up Catholic “thing” but rather it is from the scripture that we get this teaching. Scripture teaches us that we must atone for our sins, the we must be made pure to enter in to the Kingdom of God.

The passage below illustrated that even in the Old Testament they had an understanding of Purgatory, the need to cleanse the souls of the dead.

2 Macc 12:44-46

In doing this he acted in a very excellent and noble way, inasmuch as he had the resurrection of the dead in view; for if he were not expecting the fallen to rise again, it would have been useless and foolish to pray for them in death.

But if he did this with a view to the splendid reward that awaits those who had gone to rest in godliness, it was a holy and pious thought.

Thus he made atonement for the dead that they might be freed from this sin.

The Word

Purgatory (Lat., "purgare", to make clean, to purify) in accordance with Catholic teaching is a place or condition of temporal punishment for those who, departing this life in God’s grace, are, not entirely free from venial faults, or have not fully paid the satisfaction due to their transgressions. (Catholic Encyclopedia http://www.newadvent.org)

Jesus forgave

The idea that we must continue to pay for our sins even after we have been forgiven is not one that is talked about a lot, but that does not mean it is not part of four faith. Yes it is true that Jesus, through his death and resurrection has died for and forgiven our sins. But we must still confess our sins, we must still ask for His forgiveness. The grace of God is freely offered, but we must still make the effort to accept the graces offered. So the fact that Jesus died for our sins does not negate the fact that we must still ask for and seek His forgiveness.

Paying twice

If we have already asked for and received forgiveness, than why would God allow us or ask us to pay again, once we are dead. Some would say that is like paying twice for the same sin. But in truth it is not, the simple matter of the fact is, we can do nothing here on earth that will ever come close to paying back for our sins, we are at God’s mercy when it comes to forgiveness. God in his ultimate wisdom offers us the opportunity to seek his forgiveness and to receive it, but God is also a fair and just God, one who believes in atonement, the paying back of sin. The concept of paying for our sins is biblical in nature. (2 Sam 12:13-14)

The pay back

That temporal punishment is due to sin, even after the sin itself has been pardoned by God, is clearly the teaching of Scripture. God indeed brought man out of his first disobedience and gave him power to govern all things (Wisdom 10:2), but still condemned him "to eat his bread in the sweat of his brow" until he returned unto dust. God forgave the incredulity of Moses and Aaron, but in punishment kept them from the "land of promise" (Numbers 20:12). The Lord took away the sin of David, but the life of the child was forfeited because David had made God’s enemies blaspheme His Holy Name (2 Samuel 12:13-14). In the New Testament as well as in the Old, almsgiving and fasting, and in general penitential acts are the real fruits of repentance (Matthew 3:8; Luke 17:3; 3:3). The whole penitential system of the Church testifies that the voluntary assumption of penitential works has always been part of true repentance and the Council of Trent (Sess. XIV, can. xi) reminds the faithful that God does not always remit the whole punishment due to sin together with the guilt. God requires satisfaction, and will punish sin, and this doctrine involves as its necessary consequence a belief that the sinner failing to do penance in this life may be punished in another world, and so not be cast off eternally from God. (Catholic Encyclopedia http://www.newadvent.org)

It’s not fair

The idea that it’s not fair for God to ask us to pay for our sins once we have already been forgiven is a fairly new idea. It was not until Martian Luther broke away from the Church that this idea of Jesus did all the work for us, all we have to do is believe came to be. The Catholic Church has always believed that our souls must go through a cleansing process to enter in to the Kingdom of God. God’s idea of fair and our idea of fair are two different things. Who are we to place our concepts of payback on to God?

It just is

Purgatory makes sense if we are to believe the authors of the Old and New Testament and the teachings of God. Indeed, the necessity of the purging is taught in other passages of Scripture, such as 2 Thessalonians 2:13, which declares that God chose us "to be saved through sanctification by the Spirit." Sanctification is thus not an option, something that may or may not happen before one gets into heaven. It is an absolute requirement, as Hebrews 12:14 states that we must strive "for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord."

References

Bible Passages

Rev. 21:27 …nothing unclean shall enter Heaven.

2 Sam 12:13-14 …David, though forgiven, still punished for his sins.

2 Macc 12:44-46 …atoned for the dead to free them from their sins.

1 Pt 3:19 …in which he went and preached to the spirits in prison…

2 Maccabees 12:43-46 …would have seemed superfluous and vain to pray for the dead

Matthew 12:32 …neither in this world, nor in the world to come

1 Corinthians 3:11-15 …because it shall be revealed in fire; and the fire shall try every man’s work

Paul

 

Positive Words

This was sent to me from a friend in India, not sure who the original author is, he never stated it… But I thought I would share it…

I remember my dad teaching me the power of language  at a very young age. Not only did my dad understand that specific words affect our mental pictures, but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong success. 

One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight. As a kid, I was always climbing trees, poles, and literally hanging around upside down from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came to no surprise for my dad to find me at the top of a 30-foot tree swinging back and forth. My little eight-year-old brain didn’t realize the tree could break or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun to be up so high.

My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on the first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy’s mother also noticed us at the exact time my dad did. About that time a huge gust of wind came over the tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to sway. I remember my dad’s voice over the wind yell, "Bart, Hold on tightly." So I did. The next thing I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen out of the tree.

I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later told me why she fell and I did not. Apparently, when Tammy’s mother felt the gust of wind, she yelled out, "Tammy, don’t fall!" And Tammy did. fall.     

My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time processing a negative image. In fact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process the command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain had to first imagine falling, then try to tell the brain not to do what it just imagined.

Whereas, my eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image of me hanging on tightly. This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a habit or set a goal. You can’t visualize not doing something. The only way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for what you want to do and visualize that.

For example, when I was thirteen years old, I played for my junior high school football team. I tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn’t get it together at that age. I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was running out for a pass, "Don’t drop it!" Naturally, I dropped the ball.     

My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper "self-talk." They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn’t. I’ll never make it pro, but I’m now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player, because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me to win. I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just climbing trees. I might have had a longer football career.           

Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary. Ask them to hold a pen or pencil. Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them, "Okay, try to drop the pencil." Observe what they do.

Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor. You respond, "You weren’t paying attention. I said TRY to drop the pencil. Now please do it again." Most people then pick up the pencil and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but fails to drop the pencil.   

The point is made.         

If you tell your brain you will "give it a try," you are actually telling your brain to fail. I have a "no try" rule in my house and with everyone I interact with. Either people will do it or they won’t. Either they will be at the party or they won’t. I’m brutal when people attempt to lie to me by using the word try.

Do they think I don’t know they are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of doing it but they want me to give them brownie points for pretended effort? You will never hear the words "I’ll try" come out of my mouth unless I’m teaching this concept in a seminar. 

If you "try" and do something, your unconscious mind has permission not to succeed. If I truly can’t make a decision I will tell the truth. "Sorry John. I’m not sure if I will be at your party or not. I’ve got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be here. Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite."             

People respect honesty. So remove the word "try" from your vocabulary. My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might take up to seventeen compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism.           

These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children.

Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how many criticisms. Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long. We all have internal voices that give us direction.         

So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you shortchanging yourself with toxic self-talk like, " I’m fat. Nobody will like me. I’ll try this diet. I’m not good enough. I’m so stupid. I’m broke, etc. etc."   

If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with one wrong statement, imagine the kind of programming you are doing on a daily basis with your own internal dialogue. Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words.   

Notice when you or other people use them. 

But: Negates any words that are stated before it.               

Try: Presupposes failure.     

If: Presupposes that you may not.   

Might: It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener.

Would Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn’t actually happen.

Should Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn’t actually happen (and implies guilt.)         

Could Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn’t actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if it did happen.             

Can’t/Don’t: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want. This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.       

Examples:           

Toxic phrase: "Don’t drop the ball!"   

Likely result: Drops the ball     

Better language: "Catch the ball!"   

Toxic phrase: "You shouldn’t watch so much television."             

Likely result: Watches more television.   

Better language: "I read too much telev
ision makes people stupid. You might find yourself turning that TV off and picking up one of those books more often!"   

Exercise: Take a moment to write down all the phrases you use on a daily basis or any Toxic self-talk that you have noticed yourself

using. Write these phrases down so you will begin to catch yourself as they occur and change them.

 

The Power of Emotions

Emotions can help you or hinder you, it is up to you. I have often talked about how our attitudes will shape our our comes, how we can think our way in to a new you. The opposite is also true, we can think ourselves out of a new you, we can think ourselves in to the same old same old.

The power of positive thinking is only defeated by the power of negative thinking. The human mind is capable of many great things, it has the power to land a man on the moon and to start horrific wars, the same mind can do both. Our capability is only limited by our lack of imagination. Our greatness is with in us, and only our emotions keep us from achieving our goals.

The power of negative thinking can be overwhelming, and in today’s society, the negative takes the forefront, over shadowing all other emotions. We are encourage to feel the negative emotions, we are made to feel sub-human if we do not. New daily news feeds off of our fears, manufacturing crisis after crisis, our schools teach our children fear (unproven global warming science) and our government thrives off our fears grabbing ever larger portions of the privet sector.

We as a collective mind buy in to the fear, we all look for the negative emotions and try to use it to our advantage, we publically state our shock and outrage but privately we are celebrating the momentary power surge we receive. 

If we truly wish to change, to grow in to a better self we need to learn to control the negative emotions, we need to learn not to buy in to the mass hysteria that drives the masses. To so called “true feelings” of negatives need to diverted in to a positive. The task at hand is truly a monumental task, all the forces of humanity are working to control you, to scare you in to a submission, the choice is yours.

Here are some things to consider concerning negative emotions:

Anxiety and fear strips away courage and makes great performances impossible.

Doubt makes even the best decisions feel difficult and causes procrastination.

Anger rips your focus away from your goals.

Frustration can only serve to make you quit.

Guilt makes it impossible to enjoy any successes you achieve.

Jealousy and envy create dishonesty, hate and corruption. Your thoughts and emotions are the only things that can truly stop you.

 

Paul