Mother, Daughter and John 15:13

A friend of mine was texting me the other night with issues she was having with her daughter, Mothers Day had come and passed and all she received from her daughter was a text stating Happy Mothers Day. Shallow and cold, I will admit, but not unexpected. The relationship between them has always been a bit strained. Even as a young child, the daughter is now in her 20’s, she was a self-centered child. Looking to always serve her own interest. The blame, as always, lies between the parents and the personality of the child.

Her parents are divorced, I do not know the father, but know the mother well. She holds on to the divorce live a badge, she will not let it go, never have and most likely never will. She is bitter and hurt. For what I do not know, for I only know one side of the story. And as we all know, one side of a two-sided story is never enough. What I do know is the deep roots this divorce has caused. I have known the mother for over 15 years, at one time we dated, and we have remained friends after the break-up. Her lack of ability to let it go causes much pain in her and those around her, this, of course, cause issues with-in the family unit. From what I can tell, based on what I have been told by the mother and the kids, she has two, a boy and girl, the father is not very concerned with rules. He is laid back and not very concerned with structure. Is that the case, I do not know, like I said I have never had the change to meet him. But it is the narrative played out in the kids and mother.

The mother, she is controlling and likes structure, she is deeply emotional and likes lots of affirmations, one could say she is needy.  Is she a bad person, no, I think she has a big heart and means well, but I do think she has a difficult time defining love, to me it seems she places a tangible value on love and fails to see love as intangible. She needs to “see” love, the feeling is not enough.

Sure, I will be the first to admit Love is many things, tangible and intangible, but I will also be the first to admit that Love is not one thing, it’s not seeing over feeling, and Love does not always show it self in the ways we would expect. Sometimes the smallest of acts, a smile at just the right moment, says Love more than the words could ever do, Sometimes, but not Always…

Sometimes that same smile can be spiteful and hurtful… Love is…. What is it?

The bible offers us many passages about love, but the one that came to mind when I was talking to my friend, trying to help her through the latest issue with her daughter was this…

John 15:13

¹³ Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.

^{New American Standard Bible (NASB)}

 

Why this passage of all passages… The Holy Spirit works in odd ways, let me tell you….

Some back ground of the conversations:

As I said, the daughter text her “Happy Mothers Day” her son, who is in Mexico as part of his seminarian training, called her and talked for 2 hours. A drastic difference, but the two kids are as different as night and day, so not unexpected. But back to the issue at hand.

She asked me what I thought of it all, my response, What did you expect from her. Her response, Love. This conversation went on for about 45 minutes (by the way, I hate texting).

She asked for my advice on what she should do, my advice, same as it has been for a few years now, Stop expecting what she will not provide you. Her response, What, I should not expect my daughters love.

Not exactly what I was talking about, I explained that she loves you, but you will never get the response you want, and if you keep setting yourself up for disappointment, that’s what you will always get.

Still no go, her questions, Is it so wrong for a mother to want her child’s love. My response, No, it’s not wrong, but you cannot force anyone to love you in the way you want or need. Love does not force, it does not control and it is not needy. She did not really like that response from me. Sometimes the truth hurts.

But she knows me well, and she knows I always speak my mind and tell it as I see it. No harm was intended and I am sure no harm was done. So she asked for clarification.

My clarifications, We have to learn to accept the love that is offered, not try to change the love to be what we want. This did not help. She still felt that love was a tangible thing.

Her plan of action

The daughter’s birthday is next month, so her plan is to give her daughter a photo of the three of them, the mother and the two kids. Sounds nice, unless you know the daughter, and I do… She will reject this, not because she hates her brother and not because she hates her mother, but she will reject it out of spite. Just to retain the control over her mother. The more she rejects her mom, the more control she has over her. Her mothers need for tangible love is strong, and her mothers need to control is strong (she is a passive aggressive controller).So the rejection of the photo would only lead to the mother feeling hurt and trying to figure out what she can do to earn her daughters love. This, of course, gives the daughter all the power, and the mother none.

My response to the planed gift, Not a good idea. Do not play into her hands. So what than should I do, was her next question.. Text her, Happy Birthday, and offer her a dinner. Leave it at that… She was not happy with that recommendation. Her concern, if the daughter rejects the dinner invite, that would hurt more, and she really wants to give the photo and birthday card.

The real concern, she wants to gain the upper hand, to have control, to tug at her daughter’s heart-strings, and she thinks the family photo will do the trick.

But she is missing the point, the text and dinner offer gives her the control, the daughter would not expect the same treatment she gives her mother. Now some would say I was being childish, but I beg to differ. The response is not meant to hurt, but to level the playing field, to stop setting oneself up for one disappointment after another, to start to accept the kind of love the daughter was offering and to learn that sometimes we must let go.

So this is the point where I offered my bible verse:

¹³ Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.

The point of the passage was missed on her. But it was too late at night for me to get in to is, so I told her to think on it. She asked me to send her an email explaining it to her, so this post is my response (I will only send her the part concerning the passage, all the above back ground information is for us only…Unless she reads this blog…)

Why did that passage pop into me head as a good passage to use? What was the Holy Spirit leading me to? And how do I explain it? Well here I will try:

When most people read that passage, the first think that comes to mind is Jesus upon the cross, offering up His life for our sins. Offering it up freely… WOW, that is true love and friendship. So most of us think of it as the ultimate act of sacrifice for love and friendship, to offer ones life, and it is, if it is not takes to lightly. We read stories and see it on the news, people placing themselves in danger for a child or a loved one, we even see it being done for total strangers (think Boston Marathon bombing).

The gift of life should never be taken lightly and should never be given lightly. But is that the only way one can lay down ones life for a friend? I think not!

*Parents lay down their life for their children on a daily basis. Not always by risking death, sometimes it is by stand by their child through a sickness or by supporting a child through hard times. The love of a parent knows no bounds. The parent knows that rejection of the love is always a possibility, but it is offered anyway, parents know a child my do something that may go beyond anything they may have ever dreamed their child was capable of (think school shootings), but even than a parent will stand by their child. They may not approve of the child’s actions, they may even be the ones to turn them in to the authorities, but there love for that child does not falter. They are willing to take the mean words offered to them by others who do not understand, that will defend their child even if it means they to are persecuted. This is a death they are willing to undertake for their child. Not a physical death, but yet, it is still a death.

Consider a parent of an addict, they offer help and forgiveness to their child, they take them in and support them, only to have the addiction take over their child, yet again. But they continue to support and make excuse for the child, to shelter them from the crudeness of the world. Thinking that they are helping the child, suffering with the child, only to see the child falter again. This is not laying down ones life, it is protection of ones own life. The child needs to learn how to fail, so they can learn how not to fail. For the parent this means to let the child fail, and in doing so, they to will feel the failures the disappointments and resentment of and from the child. This is a death, but like the death of Jesus, there is a resurrection, a new life.

The new life comes from the child’s understanding that actions have consequences, that the addiction causes pain. But if the parent kept sheltering the child, the pain is always shifted to the parent, the child takes no responsibility for their actions. But by the parent allowing the child to feel the failure the parent is also allowing the child to grow to learn and to experience a new life. And the parent is also allowed to grow, to learn and to experience a new life. This most likely will not happen in tandem with each other, the parent may experience the new life before the child even realizes what has just happened, or the parent may take years to come to terms with the fact that they allowed their child to fail. But in the end, Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends… And a life can be laid down in many ways.

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

* The examples are given to illustrate a point, I am not implying that this is always the case. And before anyone starts yelling at me about the addiction example, yes I do understand additions, yes, I know what I am talking about… But remember, it was an example, not a real life situation, so deal with it…

 

 

 

 

Related articles

• A Mother’s Love (modernmanofthecloth.com)
• Mothers’ Day: Damn I Forgot!! (thoughtsthatforge.wordpress.com)

 

Road to Redemption: How to Overcome Feeling Sorry for Yourself

Feeling sorry for yourself, and you present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have.

-Dale Carnegie

What can we do about this, how can we change our own outlook on our own life? How do we stop feeling sorry for ourselves, stopping the self-pity and self loathing?  What can we do to save ourselves from ourselves?

Some points to consider:

• Only you can make you feel bad
• Only you are in control of you
• Only you can fix you
• Only you can do it

We are in control of our own lives, this is a basic and true fact, nothing can change this basic fact. However, being human, being of a fallen nature, we are prone to failure, we are prone to self-doubt we are prone to self-destruction. So how do we change this, how do we get past our fallen human nature? What can we do to become a better person, a person of confidence a person of integrity and person of character?

We can teach ourselves to over come our fallen nature, we can grow above and beyond that, it is achievable, it is with-in our grasps, all we need to do is trust, trust in God, trust that He will provides the graces we need to archive our perfection.

Trust in God does not mean we sit back and do nothing, quit the contrary, trust in God means we buckle down, place our nose to the grind stone, work our fingers to the bones, what ever cleaver little saying you choose. Trust is God is not the easy road, but it is the road less traveled. It is the road to perfection and happiness, it is the road to freedom and salvation, it is the only road to our own personal redemption.

God is our ticket to liberation, liberation from self-doubt, liberation from self-hatred, the two self-defeating attitudes that create the conditions necessary for self-loathing and just plain old feeling sorry for yourself. God and His graces, His love for you and all your imperfections, our ability to accept His love, to use His graces, that’s the way to freedom, the road to liberation.

Sounds easy, who would not want Gods love, who does not want the graces God bestows upon us? Ask almost anyone, and they would tell you, Yep, I want Gods love, I want His grace, not many would out-and-out refuse it. Some do, but most would be more than happy to accept the freely given gifts. So why that do we have so much pain and suffering, why do we have so many people who are full of self-pity and self-hatred?

Because the gifts and love are given freely, but we must be open to and willing to accept them, and simply saying yes, simply using words, dead words, is not enough. Action is required, God wants us to fully participate in His divine plan for ourselves, He wants us to be active, not just a vessel to poor His love and graces into, but an active participant in His love and grace.

What good are gifts, given freely, if we do not use them, what good is love, given unconditionally, if we do not accept it? A gift is only as useful as it is used, otherwise the gift is of no value. We can receive Gods love all daylong, but if we do not open ourselves to this love, if we do not partake in this love, the love is of no value to us. Yes God continues to love us, regardless of our acceptance or not, but the love goes unused, it is not returned nor is it give to others. The love of God is not meant to be buried like a secret love, but to be received and displayed for all to see, and to be given to others as freely as it was given to us.

The act of receiving is not a passive act, it is an act that requires us to participate fully. Consider this, have you ever given a gift to a friend or loved one, a gift that you gave out of no obligation, no requirement, no special occasion. You gave the gift just out of love, given freely, expecting nothing in return. But the recipient was not receptive to your gift, they may have accepted it, they may have even opened it, but they were not receptive. They showed no sign of joy in the act of love, they showed no sign of rejection, they just accepted it. We, the gift bearer, leave feeling rejected, feel that our love was neither accepted nor outright rejected. We think to ourselves, I would rather have them say I reject your gift, I do not want it, than to just accept it with no emotion at all. The act of receiving is active, it requires work on the part of the receiver. It is the same with Gods gifts to us, He freely offers His gifts, He will not force them upon us, we must freely accept them, and just saying yes is like the friend that opened the gift you offered with no emotion, no reaction, just nothingness. The gift, although given was not truly accepted, it was discarded, not with words, but the lack of action.

So what actions, what is required of us, nothing, we are not required to accept Gods graces nor Gods love, just like we are not required to accept gifts on our birthday or at Christmas. We can choose freely to participate in Gods love, just as we choose freely to accept Christmas gifts and attend birthday parties. But once we choose to attend, action is required, input and output are part of the interaction of any social gathering, so is the case with God, He provides the input, and we provide the output. He gives us, freely, His love, the input, and we actively, through our works, provide the output. Notice, God gives freely, and we work actively, it is through the active works we perfect the graces and love of God is fully realized.

So how can God help us get over our self-hate, our feeling sorry for ourselves. What must we do to actively participate in Gods graces and love given freely. How do we perform the work to  fully realize the gifts God has given. For each of us God has given the gifts that we need, the gifts that are unique to us, so for each of us the works are also unique, but here is a list of a few things all of us can do to help us realize the full potential of our gifts.

• Pray daily, offer up 30 to 60 minuets per day to God, talk to Him, but more importantly, listen, be still, be quiet, and listen to the loving voice of God. And do not worry if you don’t hear Him  the first time or every time you pray, like everything else in our lives, it take practice. So just pray, daily and know and accept that some days will be better than others.
• Read daily, anyone who has read my blog before knew that this would be one of the point, it almost always is. But reading is important, reading opens our minds to new possibilities. Read the bible, read a good solid spiritual book or read a novel, just read and let your mind go, let your mind enter into the story or passage. Let the author take you along for the ride. Read at least 15 minutes per day. God often times speaks to me through the books I choose to read that day, the passage I decide to look up or the magazine I choose out of the stack on my coffee table. God uses the everyday items about us to communicate to us, God comes to the place we are, He does not wait for us to arrive at the place He desires us to be.
• Journal daily, write about your day, write about what you see about you, write about your prayer life, write about what ever you choose to write about. This blog is my journal, it allows me the opportunity to clear my mind, to put down on paper (well in this case, electronic paper) what is on my mind, allows me the opportunity to clear it, to visualize it. God uses these opportunities to speak to us, often times I just sit to write, no idea what I want to write about, just feel the need to clear my mind. It is in these moments that I feel God guiding me more that any other. So journal daily, allow the Holy Spirit to guide your hand across the paper, or in my case the keyboard. Use your time journaling as a time of communion with God.
• Learn daily, learn about your faith, learn about your life, learn about your country learn about wine or basket weaving, just learn, never stop learning. God created our minds to grow, to learn to expand. In the process of learning, we are using one of Gods greatest gifts to us, the gift of knowledge. So learn something new daily, try something new daily. I try to make it a point to learn something new daily, be it a simple fact or a complex idea. Learning about this world, our self, our nation or about basket weaving is learning about God, for through the ordinary we find God.
• Think one positive thought daily, when you are in the mist of a bad day, stop yourself, and think about one positive event that took place that day. There is always one, no day is completely bad. Even Good Friday, the day our Lord was killed upon a cross had a positive moment, the moment He offered His life for our sins. So stop and think, seek out the shinning spot among the darkness of your day. It is in the moment, that spot that God will be found.
• Thank someone daily, always give thanks to all around you, but find someone who needs your thanks more than any other, we find God in our fellow-man, and they find God in us, give freely of your Gift of love from God, by returning to others.

Our works do not purchase Gods love nor are the required, God gives it freely, but our works bring the fullness of Gods love to light. Through Gods love we will learn to love the self, and only through our works will we fully realize that self-love.

 

God Bless

 

Paul W Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

Related articles

• Freely Given – Freely Give (eworth2011.wordpress.com)
• The Gift of Embodiment (dreamprayact.com)
• What Is Love??? (parlaadaltavoce.wordpress.com)
• God’s Love Will Never Fail Us, No Matter Our Weaknesses (chronicillnesspaindevotionals.wordpress.com)
• Why do people become Christians? What’s all the hype? (raymondjclements.wordpress.com)
• Good Person? Wrong Question (thetwowings.wordpress.com)
• The Fullness of Love (joyofspa.com)

 

The 4 Points of Leadership

Bearing compass (18th century). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The 4 Points of Leadership, like a compass, we need to make sure our leadership skills, our life skills are inline with the 4 main points on our internal compass. The goal of any leader, be they corporate leaders, group leaders or mom and dads, direction and clarity are important. The 4 Points of Leadership will help you set your compass to true north and help you to set your course to a leadership style of clarity and direction.

 

Point One: Environment

Be careful the environment you choose for it will shape you; be careful the friends you choose for you will become like them.
W. Clement Stone

The people and things we choose to surround ourselves with define us, they shape us and inform the world who and what we are. As my mother use to so, you are who you hang with, we choose to associate with like minded people, to frequent places filled with the atmosphere we thrive in. We do not often exit our comfort zone nor do we often drastically change our environment, we are creatures of habit and seek out comfort and security.

To set our compass to True North, to Clarity and Direction, we need to create an environment that is healthy and uplifting, we need to choose friends and associates that will help define us as productive and positive influences on our society.  Our Direction needs to be one of upward movement, one set with the goal of creating a better world that we entered into. This includes \more that just donating to the local soup kitchen, it includes our actions and words as well. The simple act of teaching our children to say please and thank you, or to open the door for an elderly person. Respect and charity go hand in hand, and are all part of the environment we create.

Point two:  Action

We have too many high sounding words, and too few actions that correspond with them.

Abigail Adams (1744 – 1818), letter to John Adams, 1774

Actions speak louder than words, we all have heard this saying, most likely from our Mothers, and once again, our mothers were right. Actions do speak loader than words, in-fact actions define our words. It is easy to say “I will” or “Yes” or even “I love you” but if our actions do not back up the words, the words become hollow and meaningless. Yet, if we just do it, with out the words, the action stands on its own, becomes the truth with in the words not spoken. Actions are our currency, it is with actions that we gain trust and respect. And like money, we must learn when to spend our actions and on what. Well spent actions will provide us with respect and trust, where as miss spent actions or lack of action will deplete our account and render us morally bankrupt in the eyes of our creditors, our friends and family.

To set our compass to True North, to Clarity and Direction, we need to learn the value of actions, to see the outcome and consequences of our actions on ourselves and those who surround us. We need to learn that our words must be followed by our actions, and that our actions can and do define our moral character. We are what we do or don’t do. Our inaction is as important as our actions.

 

Point three: Laugh

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It’s jolted by every pebble on the road.
~Henry Ward Beecher

Nothing in this world is beyond a laugh. We cannot take life or ourselves to seriously. Life is to short not to smile to enjoy and to laugh. Learn to relax and go with the flow, and you will learn that life is not all that bad. We all have run into that one person who seems to have the personality of a arm pit hair, they find no joy in any aspect of life, and fine no humor in this world. They see the world as a cold humorless place, a place that needs to be pitied not laughed at.

Before you condemn them, stop and look at yourself, are there times, moments or days that you too feel this old world is just in to sad a shape to laugh to enjoy and experience. We all could use a little more laughter in our lives, we all can light up a bit more and learn to make this world a little more bearable.

To set our compass to True North, to Clarity and Direction, we need to learn to find the silly in life’s stressful moments. We need to learn to laugh at the ridiculous and find the humor in the outrageous. We need to teach our children not to be offended so easily and to find the funny in the sometimes not so funny world. The world can be, and often is a cruel place, God has given us the grace of humor, it is up to us to use this gift to help make this world a better place, for ourselves and the next generation of leaders.

Point Four: God

God gives every bird its food, but He does not throw it into its nest.

~J. G. Holland

Our being depends on only one Being,God, believe in Him or not does not change the simple fact that God is there and God is the Creator. God provides all that we need, but we must achieve it ourselves. We have faith in the outcome, but the work must come from within. We are not capable of achieving greatness without the graces of God flowing through us and within us. We must learn to respect and harness the graces God has provided for us, each to our needs, not our desires. God knows all our wants and provides for all our needs. Our wants and needs may not be the same, we may not understand the differences, but God does.

To set our compass True North, to Clarity and Direction we need to learn that God exist, truly exist and provides for our well being, but allows us to partake in the process, allows us to journey alongside the Creator. Our actions, words and desires need to be all for one purpose, glorifying God and praising Him for the graces He has bestowed upon us. Once again, believe in God or not, does not change the fact the God believes in you.

In Conclusion

The 4 Points of Leadership can and should be thought of as the 4 Points of Life, a life lived well. Each person is a leader, a leader of there life, there family there destiny. We choose the path we wonder, we set our compasses on the prize we seek and we gather around us the ones whom we esteem and hold dear to ourselves. God allows us the freedom, grants us the freewill to choose the path we walk, always offering us the graces we need to walk the path with Clarity and a sense off Direction. It is our decision to take up His offer to to choose to walk the path alone. Leadership is not about going it alone, not about forging a new path or even about making a name for yourself, Leadership is about understanding, understanding self, others and your place in the universe, it is about understanding your roll in Gods plan, not Gods roll in your plans.

 

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach 

 

 

 

Related articles

• The Inward/Upward and Outward (billwalker.wordpress.com)
• Self-Compassion, Mindfulness and Healing (onebravesurvivorhealing.wordpress.com)
• Humor: Why Top Ten Lists Rock and Ten To Keep You Laughing… (oyiabrown.com)
• Humor: Why Top Ten Lists Rock and Ten To Keep You Laughing… (oyiabrown.com)
• The 10 Secrets of Leadership (mullanjames.typepad.com)
• Four Things Followers Want from Their Leaders (columbiapartnership.typepad.com)
• The Recalcitrant Jesus: Proto-gnostic Influences upon the Nature and Character of the Johannine Jesus (kitsimpson.wordpress.com)
• The Point of the Compass (designed4apurpose.wordpress.com)

 

So, tell me about yourself (How I hate that)

Charlie Brown (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Have you ever sat down and plotted out a course of action for your current work position? I am sure many of you have and think nothing of it. But for me its one of the hardest things to do. There are two things I hate, one is having to write or talk about myself. In every ministry class or self-improvement class I have ever taken, that is almost always one of the first tasks. Call it what you like “selling yourself” “listing your gifts” or just bragging, what ever you want to call it, to me its hard and to tell the truth, some what silly. But, I know of many people who thrive on that, create the list even when they don’t have to, drop it into what ever they are saying or writing. Any chance to shine and they will.

I remember once, when I was part owner of a store, the three partners all happen to be at the store at the same time, and a salesman walked it. He was, as expected, extremely friendly and knew how to sell. He didn’t start off with”would you like to buy this” but rather with “So tell me a little about yourselves”. Very smart move, great way to open up a sales pitch. So I started with the basics, I was a youth minister and part owner of the store, partner number two, same thing, partner number three, had to mention every church they worked at, every school they even considered going to and every degree they might have even given a thought to. Her introduction, 10 min, mine and the other partner, maybe 2 minutes max.  The salesman, he really didn’t care, he was just hoping for an opening, and he found it, in partner number 3.

Why partner number 3, because he know that she would also be open to flattery. And with the power of flattery, her ego would be stroked and with her ego stroked, all reason and defenses would be out the window. Our only saving grace, I was the person in charger of purchasing all gift items, partner number 3 was in charge of the money and partner number 3, book. So we were safe, ego stroked or no stroke.

What does that have to do with stating your gifts or talents or what ever. To me its all about ego, and for anyone who has read my blogs over the years knows what I think about the ego, I have no use for it. Ego is Edging God Out, and is the root of all evil. I find no value in stroking your own ego, nor in having others stroke it for you. This has caused me many issues in the past, I have a hard time “selling’ myself, because I find it hard to talk about what I am capable to do, were my strengths lies, I am much more at ease talking about my deficits and what I lack.

My action plan for work is similar to this, I am being asked to define what I want, were I want to be and how I need to get there. This is a hard task for me. The issue is, I love what I do, but I am extremely unhappy in how it is done.

I am a technical instructor for a major PLM software, I write and deliver the course. I have been doing this for over 15 years, and must say I have gotten very good at it. Am I the best, depends on who you ask, am I the worst, same thing, depends on who you ask. I know I am good at what I do, and I also know I love what I do. But… Doing the same thing over and over and over can get to you. Fighting the same battles day in and day out gets old and feeling that you have no control over it, well that, to me, is the kicker. So this current task my company is asking for, my development plan, is suppose to help me achieve my goals. But what are my goals, were do I want to be in 6 month, one year or five years from now? Hard to say.

My interest is not software, I am not a programing nerd, I am a teacher that happens to teach software. I was lucky to walk into this job, allowing me to use what ever skills I may happen to have as a teacher, to teach software. I love the creative process of teaching and developing the courseware. But I would be just as happy teaching paper folding  as I am teaching software. In truth, I love to teach, plane and simple. So were do I go from here.

Do I decide its time to change gears, quit and find a new job teaching, giving up 15 years with the company, leaving my many friends and the comfort of what I know? Or do I find ways to make this work, stick it out and hope for the best? This is the dilemma, and this is why I hate having to do this.

The frustration is with myself and work, but more with myself. I understand and know, internally, that I have the power within me to fix it. I can accept it or not. If I accept it, than I have to stop the bitching about it, move on and keep on keeping on. If I decide to not accept it, than I have to fix it or leave. Either way accept or not, I have to get over it and move on.  And that is what this document represents to me, I have to decide what I want and articulate it in this document. And I don’t want to face it, I don’t want to think about it, but I am being forced to.

 

In away, I am feeling like Charlie Brown, I know I am unhappy, but I just don’t know why. I need my Linus,

Sometimes questions . “So, tell me about yourself”, “where do you see yourself in five years”, are questions you need to hear, even when we don’t like them. I know that this task set before me is driving me nuts, but I also know it is something that I have to face, sooner rather than later.

God Bless and Happy Lent

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

Related articles

• Is the ego controlling you? (jayrando.wordpress.com)
• Goodbye Ego! (liveyourpositivelife.com)
• Writing about the Self, I Am (gettingbetterman.wordpress.com)

 

The Voice of Summer: A Lenten Reflection

For, lo, the winter is past,
The rain is over and gone;
The flowers appear on the earth;
The time of the singing of birds is come,
And the voice of the turtle is heard in our land.

Solomon 2:11-12

For any Michigander, Detroit Tiger Fan or just a Detroiter, you know the above, it is the Voice of the Turtle, and every spring it was read by the voice of summer, Ernie Harwell

In Detroit, you knew it was spring, not by the temperatures outside, but by the voice of Ernie on the air. Each and every Detroit Tigers Baseball session started off with the Voice of the Turtle, a short verse from the book of Solomon, yet, most of us hearing the words had no idea they were from the bible. I know that when I was growing up hearing Ernie’s words, I thought it was just a pome he wrote for the start of spring, I had no idea that he was evangelizing me, I had no idea I was hearing the inspired word of God.

Isn’t that just how life is, we hear something, it sounds cute, it sounds good, yet we fail to hear the voice of God with in it.  But yet, like Ernie’s rendition of the Voice of the Turtle, it resonates with you, it seems to fill a spot within your heart. I know that’s how it was with Ernie, and that’s how it still is, even today when I hear his voice, I hear his reading of the Voice of the Turtle, I feel spring has arrived, all is right with the world. It’s amazing how certain things effect us.

God is that way, when you allow Him to be. He will resonate within you, make all things right, if you allow Him too. But like hearing the voice of summer, you have to tune in, to hear Ernie call a baseball game was like being in the park, feeling the sunshine and smelling the hotdogs. He made you fell as if you were apart of the action, one of the fans right behind home plate.

I remember many a Saturday afternoons listening to Ernie call a game, his voice was baseball, and you truly did feel safe and secure with his voice on the radio. Several years ago Ernie passed away, and it was like all of Michigan lost a grandfather, and we all knew Detroit Baseball would never be the same. Something was lost, the voice of summer had died. Sure, he had not been calling games for a few years before he passed on, but he was still there, you would hear him on the radio every now and than and you knew he was watching his beloved Tigers, just as you were. It just seemed different after his passing, nothing was the same, summer had lost its voice and silence now rained. Dramatic sounding I know, but some people just have the effect on you, some moments or memories are just that strong, and Ernie is one such memory. And not just for me, but for millions of fans.

Last year I had the opportunity to see a play in downtown Detroit called “Ernie!”, yep a play about the voice of summer. It was written by our own Mitch Album, a local sports writer  and radio personality, and know nationally for his best selling book “Tuesdays with Morrie”. The one act play was a sell out each and every night and is returning this year for another go around. An amazing thing, if you stop and think about it, Ernie was just a sports broadcaster, a baseball guy. He didn’t invent the cure for cancer, he died from it. he didn’t bring world peace to the world, he brought baseball to the homes. He was, by every account, just a man who loved baseball, his wife Lulu and his kids. He was just Ernie. But he was beloved by all and holds a special place in the hearts of all Detroiters, for Ernie was, and still is to many, the voice of summer. Ernie knew his gifts and used them everyday, in small ways, to make God know and visible in this world. Be it by reading a small poem  on the air waves, or by making us all feel as if we are welcomed into his world of baseball. It was his gifts that he chose to share with the world, and we are all better of for it. Ernie was truly one of a kind, he truly was a gift from God.

Lent offers us an opportunity to look into ourselves, to evaluate our gifts and to determine the best way to share them with others. God gave Ernie the gift of Baseball, the gift to make you feel welcomed and the gift of the love of life, what gift do you have, and how are you using it. Find ways this Lent to use your gifts, to share them with others, to make God known a little better in this world.

God Bless & Happy Lent

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

Related articles

• Take Me Out To The Ballgame (blogher.com)
• Ernie Els struggling to make The Masters after blowing lead at Transitions Championship (telegraph.co.uk)
• THE ERNIE 4 – "One Baskervoid Frottage – 30 Minutes With The Ernie 4″ – stream – 2012 (autoreversetoinfinity.wordpress.com)

 

Into your Arms, A Lenten Reflection

Today many people try to make Jesus out to be this hippy type of person who spoke softly and walked around with a smile on his face and a daisy in his hands. You know they type, the “Jesus Loves You” type. Sure, yes I know that Jesus loves me and I know that Jesus was a kind person, and spoke with compassion. But I also know Jesus overturned the tables in the Temple, I also know he told Peter to get behind him because he was acting like satin and He told the young rich man to go away because he was unable to give up what he had to follow Jesus. So Jesus didn’t always have a smile on His face and he didn’t always carry a daisy in his hands. Sometimes Jesus was upset, sometimes he was happy and at other times, he was passionate.

We often fail to remember that Jesus was fully human, not just partly, not only on some days at certain times, but 100% human 100% of the time. His humanity is important, it is because of his humanity that Calvary has any meaning at all. If Jesus was not 100% human, than offering up his life would have no meaning at all, for how miraculous would it be for a God to offer up His life, but for a man, a human, this is something. Jesus had to be human to take on humanity’s sins; sure, God could have just taken away our sins with a wave of his hands, but what good is in that? The act would have been forced upon us; we would have had no choice in it. That is not love, that is not freedom that is dictatorship that is forced compliance. God is not about force, God is about Choice. Freewill is what God offers us; we are free to say yes or to say no. This is our great Fiat, our chance to say YES to the Lord, Yes to God and to the Holy Spirit. God wants us, but he does not want to force us, he wants us to walk into his open arms under our own freewill.

Gods greatest gift you and me is the gift of freewill, our ability to say yes, to offer up that great Amen, or to say no, to resist the love of our Lord. This gift is the gift of love, the gift of true freedom. It is a gift the challenges our ego daily. Our fallen nature condemns us to our ego, for it was the ego that committed the first sin, the sin of pride. Our first parents, Adam and Eve wanted to be like God, their pride covered their eyes and they could not see that they already were with God, walking in the garden, they already had God with in them, but pride overshadowed this, covered it with vanity and covetousness , and the gift of freewill proved to be our downfall and not our salvation. The freedom to accept God or to reject God is the ultimate gift God gave us. Adam and Eve rejected that gift in the moment they ate the fruit of the Tree. It would not be until Jesus was sacrificed upon a Tree that Humanity would once again be united with God.

Jesus, being both Human and Devine, offers us His life, took upon himself our sins and gave us his Mother, yet that was not all He did. In his life Jesus showed us how to live, how to pray and how to act. Through His parables, teachings and His own actions He has provided for us a road map to His Kingdom. Yet one of the most powerful lessons He gave us came at the end of His earthly life, lifted upon that cross, the new Tree in the center of the garden, he spoke words of love and tenderness, His final words he offers to us as man.

Jesus cried out in a loud voice,
“Father, into your hands I commend my spirit”

Gospel of Luke 23:46

Into your hands, I run, into your hands I collapse, into your hands I surrender… It is the Father that we offer ourselves; it is the Father that we seek for our comforts. Jesus, upon the cross, spoke these words, upon the cross He offers them to us. For each and every utterance Jesus spoke upon that cross brought Him one step closer to death, so each and every word, every letter, had a deep and profound meaning. He did not just say words He thought would sound nice, or words He thought would comfort His mother. No the words upon that cross were meant as final instructions. This was Jesus Great Fiat, His final Amen. Yet they are ours as well, for Jesus spoke them not for Himself, nor for God, for God already knows what is on mans mind, how much more He knew his only son. No the words from the cross were spoken for us, for you and me.

Jesus is telling us, that we, to truly be free from sin, must commend our spirits into Gods loving and open hands. That we must, of our own Freewill, offer ourselves to God. This and this alone, offers us our salvation. The Letting go of the ego and the acceptance of the loving arms of God is the true path to salvation. Jesus was stretched out upon that cross, His arms wide open to accept us, but He could not force us, He could not grab us, for his hands have been confined with the nail of sin, He cannot walk to us, for His feet have been bound by the nail of pride and he could not force us, for His earthly body had been scourged by the whip of humanity. Jesus could only offer open arms to receive us, if we chose to come to Him, to His beaten and bloodied body, to His Divine Humanity hung upon that cross.

This Lent reflect upon the words of Jesus from the Tree of salvation, eat of its fruits and look upon its limbs and see the face of salvation, the face of Jesus, the face of God.

Into your Arms I run, Into your Arms I collapse, Into your Arms I offer up my spirit.

God Bless & Happy Lent

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

I am currently updating the website, and accepting new clients

Related articles

• I Want… A Lenten Reflection (anamericanpointofview.wordpress.com)
• When we call on Jesus in a time of need, He will take that which is ordinary and transform it into something supernatural for our benefit (bummyla.wordpress.com)
• The Family Business (carolynpriesterjones.org)
• Leave Home, Get Baptized, Go to the Wilderness – A Sermon on Mark 1:9-15, Lent 1B. (interruptingthesilence.com)
• Retreat into Lent (craigkuehn.wordpress.com)
• Lent: Walking with Jesus (junjunfaithbook.com)
• Welcoming Wild Beasts and Angels As Part of Lent (newwaysministryblog.wordpress.com)
• And the Award Goes to… (leadinguptoeaster.wordpress.com)
• It looked Like the Sun Wasn’t gon’ Shine no More, But God Put A Rainbow In the Sky – A Reflection on the Readings for the First Sunday of Lent (adw.org)
• Jesus Does Not “Come Into Your Heart!!!” (pamsheppardpublishing.com)
• Who is Jesus Christ? (tammyleonard.wordpress.com)
• Trying To Live For Jesus Without The Spirit Messes Everything Up (pastorpaulvbsblog.blogspot.com)
• According To Christian Republicans, Jesus Will Fail (truelogic.wordpress.com)
• Mary, The Mother of Jesus and first disciple of Christ. (Theotokos) (donkeyprophet.wordpress.com)
• Galatians 1:1 (gracegalatians.wordpress.com)
• How to Turn the Worst of Times into the Best of Times (cherilynclough.com)
• The One Choice That Led to Death (bummyla.wordpress.com)
• Paradise Lost! But Thank You Jesus (bummyla.wordpress.com)
• Impoverished Ministry Of Jesus – Daily Devotion By Oswald Chambers (gospelbondservant.com)
• You Cannot Love Both The World And Jesus (pastorpaulvbsblog.blogspot.com)

 

The Lost week

It has been sometime between blog posting, it’s not that I haven’t wanted to sit down and post, I have. In fact several times I have sat down to do just that, write a blog and post it. Yet when I sat own it seemed I had nothing to say. So I would sit there for a few moments and stare at the monitor than exit the program and get up and walk away. I must not have had any real ideas, because if I did I would have posted them.

Well with Christmas Day behind us and the New Year looming ahead of us, we as a people, are in a transition phase. It funny really how this one week between almost feels like a lost week of sorts. As for me, I am off of work this week, as I was last week. My decorations are still up my house is clean and I have a new book to read, Being George Washington: The Indispensable Man, as You’ve Never Seen Him, by Glenn Beck along with several free books I download to my iPad. So I am sure this week will be filled with reading and old movies. This weekend I will take down the Decorations and ring in the New Year by sitting at home enjoying my last days of vacation.

This lost week, as I called it in the above paragraph, is just that. Stories of the Year in Review are everywhere, yet the year is not even over yet, it’s as if this week is outside of time, that there are only 51 weeks in a year, and one week of transition into the new year. We hear people saying things like, “I’ll start my diet next week, after the New Year” or “In the New Year we will clean out our closets” As if this week does not exist. I am guilty of this myself. I need to get back to working out, yet I keep putting it off, until the New Year, I need to quit smoking, yet again I tell myself, in the New Year.

Why Wait?

Why do we put it off, why do we wait that extra 7 days? Because we really don’t want to do what ever it is we are putting off, we use the “holiday” as an excuse. Than after the “holiday” we will find other excuses. So I have decided that I am going to work out today, I am going to start it back up, before the New Year, I am going to use this Lost Week to find the courage and strength to improve myself, to reach for the goals I have set for myself each and every New Year:

• Get into shade
• Quit Smoking
• Lose Weight
• Make time for Friends

The list is larger but I am finding that if I make to many goals, I achieve none, so I will stick to that.  With each day that passes it will get harder and harder to achieve the goals, so the Lost Week is only going to make it harder come the New Year. So I have decided to find that week, and make it productive.

They say it takes 21 days to form a habit, that may be true, but to me it seems to only work on bad habits. I was working out 3 times per-week for 4 months, yet I was able to break that habit with no problem. I have stopped smoking for 2 months at a time, yet I seem to be able to start-up again with no problem.

Life changes are hard to make, hard to commit to and even harder to keep. We are creatures of habit, and it seems our habits are life long. I have never talked to an ex-smoker who does not miss smoking. Like any other life changing event, it takes time and dedication to achieve. As a life coach I understand the issues that come with life changes. I have gone through many in my life, from the death of my parents to wanting to quit smoking. Each event has its own rhyme and reasons, its own ebb and flow. Yet each even shares some very basic characteristics. Each event involves some sort of personal resolve.

With the death of a parent, or any loved one, our lives are forever altered, we never “get over it” it never “gets better” it just gets “Different”. We change is some way, we become something different. For some the change is profound, for others it is subdued, but a change does take place. The same can be said for people who quit smoking, they never “get over smoking” and it never “gets easer” it just gets “different”. And like the death of a parent or loved one, the change is different for each of us, but a change does take place.

It seems to me that it is how we choose to deal with it, how we choose to approach it. With the death of my Dad, I learned a life lesson, simple yet very profound, “Life is too short”. That was it, but to me it was life changing. My dad died to young, and he left a family, including my mother, and I am sure he had unfinished business to attend to. Yet in his death I learned that valuable life lesson, Life is to short. I also saw who were his true friends and the impact his life had on others. Yes I mourned his death, yes I felt and still feel a hole in my heart, but I also learned. The death of my mother taught me how to die. And in teaching me how to die, she taught me how to live. Her faith was strong and her love was even stronger. She never lost sight of her family or her sense of humor and she never took her eyes off the love of the Cross. As with my dad, my mom died far to young, but as with my dad, in her death she continued to teach me, to protect and nurture me.

My experience with the death of my parents has changed me, altered my life, hopefully for the better. Yet not all people can claim positive experiences from death, many people allow death to change there lives not for the better, but for the worst. They dwell upon it, relive each and every moment… Creating an environment of death, one devoid of life, shutting life out. I can not answer why some people do this, why they would choose this (yes I believe everything we do comes down to being a choice).

What does all this have to do with the Lost Week, lots…

This week between Christmas and New Years, this lost week that we seem to use as just an excuse not to achieve our goals is a perfect time to make a choice, how are we going to deal with ______(fill in the blank)____, what am I going to do, how and I going to react, what in my life is going to change for the better… I made decisions when my parents died, I decided I would use their deaths as a lesson, a time to learn, a time to take their love and life and use it as a gift from them to me, to better my life. Well I can look at my goals in the same way, I can look at working out as a lesson, a gift of love, from myself to me, I can look at quitting smoking as a life lesson, “don’t follow the cool kids” or “Be yourself”…

Life is all about choices, we just need to learn to make smarter ones…

God Bless

Paul

Related articles

• How to Make Your Quit-Smoking Resolution Stick (nlm.nih.gov)
• Smoking Cessation (cdc.gov)

 

Forgiveness… Can you do it?

Image via Wikipedia

The only survivor of white supremacist Mark Stroman’s bloody rampage after Sept 11, 2001 is asking that his attacker be spared the death penalty Wednesday for his crimes….

…I forgave Mark Stroman many years ago," he writes on his blog. "I believe he was ignorant, and not capable of distinguishing between right and wrong, otherwise he wouldn’t have done what he did." (You must read this)

How many of us could say this? How easy is it to forgive? Look around you, examine your own life, have you forgiven people who have hurt you, wronged you? Have you forgiven your parents that abused you or the priest that took advantage of you? Have you been able to let go and let God? Have you found the place in your heart were forgiveness lives? Or is it just a dark spot?

Forgiveness is not easy, yet it is something we all must learn to do. Jesus, on his cross, forgave:

And Jesus said: Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. But they, dividing his garments, cast lots. (Luke 23:34)

In the New Testament, Jesus speaks of the importance of Christians forgiving or showing mercy towards others. The Parable of the Prodigal Son is perhaps the best known instance of such teaching and practice of forgiveness.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus repeatedly spoke of forgiveness, “Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.” Matthew 5:7 (NIV) “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.” Matthew 5:23-24 (NIV) “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” Mark 11:25 (NIV) “But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also.” Luke 6:27-29 (NIV) “Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.” Luke 6:36 (NIV) “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” Luke 6:37 (NIV)

Elsewhere, it is said, "Then Peter came and said to Him, ‘Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy-seven times.’" Matthew 18:21-22 (NAS)

Jesus asked for God’s forgiveness of those who crucified him. "And Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.’" Luke 23: 34 (ESV)

In his time, Jesus created controversy among the Pharisees, when he told people their sins were forgiven. "The Pharisees and the teachers of the law began thinking to themselves, ‘Who is this fellow who speaks blasphemy? Who can forgive sins but God alone?’" Luke 5:21 (NIV) (Read this)

Pope John Paul II also forgave his would be killer (read this), But can we, me and you, forgive? I know I have a hard time with this concept, I hold grudges for a long long time… It is one of my many human traits that I must work on, daily. It is some thing I have prayed about, seek guidance for and something that I am aware of. It is, in a nut shell, something that is holding be back from being the creation that God wishes me to be. Forgiveness… We all say it, but do we all truly mean it, do we truly understand it. I know I don’t, but I also know that once a crack that nut, I will be in a much better place than I am now…

God Bless

Paul

Related articles

• "What Credit Is That To You?" ( Luke 6: 33, NIV ) by Carley Evans (lambskinny.wordpress.com)
• Luke Chapter 14 (via POFW’s Blog) (loopyloo305.wordpress.com)
• Why We Don’t Pray, and How To Fix It (thomasemason.com)
• To Forgive Is Divine (ourfaithkeepers.wordpress.com)
• P.R.A.Y. for America (countingmyblessings.typepad.com)
• Where in the Bible does it say If you can’t forgive me Jesus won’t forgive you (wiki.answers.com)
• Why did Jesus first forgive the man’s sins and then heal him of his paralysis (wiki.answers.com)
• "Serving Matters" (fyi5.wordpress.com)
• Barrack Hussein Obama The Community Organizer? Not Quite. (politicalvelcraft.org)
• God, please forgive me. (prayersonline.net)
• God’s Promises Are Awesome- A Brief Bible Study (gospelbondservant.com)
• Victim pleads for Texas death row inmate’s life (cbsnews.com)
• Rais Bhuiyan and the Power of Forgiveness (rabbibrant.com)
• Day to live (bbc.co.uk)
• VIDEO: Man pleads for death row attacker (bbc.co.uk)
• Tanya Greene: Rais Bhuiyan: Another Irrelevant Victim? (huffingtonpost.com)
• Rais Bhuiyan, Victim of Post-9/11 Shooting Spree, Pleads To Spare Attacker Mark Stroman’s Life (huffingtonpost.com)
• A Forgiving Religion. (transremaxculver.wordpress.com)
• Mark Stroman Will Die Tomorrow [Video] (gawker.com)
• Victim of 9/11 hate crime fights for attacker’s life (msnbc.msn.com)
• Victim of 9/11 hate crime fights for attacker’s life (msnbc.msn.com)
• Words Of Inspiration (#14) (quecisuave.wordpress.com)
• Breaking Silence (cindyholman.wordpress.com)
• Asked and Answered | Mark Anthony Stroman and Rais Bhuiyan: The Hated and the Hater, Both Touched by Crime (nytimes.com)
• Forgiving, Forgetting, & Boundary Setting (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
• When were you last hurt by someone? (pastormikesays.wordpress.com)
• Confession: Good for the Soul (alittlebitcatholic.wordpress.com)
• Forgiveness – What It Is, What It Is Not (via Sam Storms) (mgpcpastor.wordpress.com)
• Forgiven AS We Forgive (seongyosa.wordpress.com)
• Texas inmate set to die for hate crimes in 9/11′s wake (cnn.com)
• Texas man to be executed for revenge killing after 2001 terror attacks (cnn.com)
• MAN SET to DIE by Lethal Injection in Texas, Wednesday, July 20th (socyberty.com)
• Texan to Die for 9/11 Revenge Killings (newser.com)

 

Lent 2011: Are you ready for it?

http://www.facebook.com/widgets/like.php?href=https://anamericanpointofview.wordpress.com/2011/03/09/lent-2011-are-you-ready-for-it/

Image via Wikipedia

With Lent here, it’s a good time to ask the question, “Are you ready for it?” or an even better question, “Do you understand it?”

Lent is a complex time in the Church year, we are depriving ourselves, we are reminded of our mortality yet we are to be preparing for the Death and Resurrection of our Lord, a time of celebration….

Talk about emotions running the gamete… The high and lows of life are all put into the 40 days of Lent… We as Catholic/Christians are called to use this time as a time of renewal, a time to prepare for the new life, the new life in Christ.

It’s a time of sacrifice, a time to offer up to God. But many look at it as a time to stop eating candy or drinking pop. Yes they are sacrifice for many, but is that all we need to do?

---

(Source)

1. Take 30 minutes to pray, ask the Holy Spirit’s guidance, look over this activities list for the Season of Lent, and make a few practical Lenten resolutions. Be careful. If you try to do too much, you may not succeed in anything. If you need to get up early or stay up late to get the 30 minutes of quiet, do it. Turn off your phone and computer. Don’t put it off and don’t allow interruptions.
2. During the Season of Lent, Get up earlier than anyone else in your house and spend your first 15 minutes of the day thanking God for the gift of life and offering your day to Him.
3. Get to daily Mass.
4. If you can’t do Mass daily, go to Mass on Fridays in addition to Sunday and thank Him for laying his life down for you. Maybe you can go another time or two as well.
5. Spend at least 30 minutes in Eucharistic adoration at least one time during the week.
6. Recover the Catholic tradition of making frequent visits to the Blessed sacrament throughout the week, even if it is only for 5 minutes.
7. Get to confession at least once during the Season of Lent after making a good examination of conscience. If you are not sure why confession is important, get my CD “Who Needs Confession.”
8. In addition to the penance assigned by the priest, fulfill the conditions necessary for a plenary indulgence. You can learn about plenary indulgences from the official Handbook of Indulgences.
9. Make a decision to read at least some Scripture every day. Starting with Today’s!
10. Even if you can’t get to daily Mass during the Lenten Season, get a Daily Roman Missal or go visit the Crossroads Homepage for a link to the Daily Mass readings, and read these readings daily. During special seasons such as Lent, the Mass readings are thematically coordinated and make for a fantastic Bible study!
11. Pray the Liturgy of the Hours. You can buy a one volume edition or a full four volume edition. Or you can get it day by day online for free at www.universalis.com. Or you can subscribe to a monthly publication called the Magnificat that provides a few things from the liturgy of the hours together with the Mass readings of the day. The Magnificat is a great way to start learning the Liturgy of the Hours.
12. Get to know the Fathers of the Church and read selections from them along with Scripture. Short selections from the Fathers writing on Lenten themes can be downloaded for free from the Lenten Library of our website at www.crossroadsintiative.com
13. Make the Stations of the Cross each Friday of the Season of Lent either with a group or by yourself. If you have kids, bring them.
14. Pray the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary often during Lent, especially on Friday and Wednesday. The glorious mysteries are especially appropriate on Sundays. Joyful and Luminous mysteries are great on other days.
15. Purchase the Scriptural Rosary, which supplies you with a scripture verse to recite between each Hail Mary. This makes it easier to meditate on the mysteries. Another resource to deepen your understanding of the Rosary is my CD set “How Mary and the Rosary can Change Your Life.”
16. If you’ve never done a family rosary, begin doing it. If starting with once a week, try Friday or Sunday. If it’s tough to start with a full five decades, try starting with one. Use the Scriptural Rosary and have a different person read each of the Scriptures between the Hail Mary’s. This gets everyone more involved.
17. Make it a habit to stop at least five times a day, raise your heart and mind to God, and say a short prayer such as “Jesus, I love you,” or “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner,” or “Lord, I offer it up for you.”
18. Pray each day for the intentions and health of the Holy Father.
19. Pray each day for your bishop and all the bishops of the Catholic Church.
20. Pray for your priests and deacons and for all priests and deacons.
21. Pray for the millions of Christians suffering under persecution in various Muslim and Communist countries around the world such as the Sudan, Pakistan, Indonesia, China, Viet Nam, and North Korea.
22. Pray for Christian unity, that there would be one flock and one shepherd.
23. Pray for the evangelization of all those who have not yet heard and accepted the Good News about Jesus.
24. Pray for your enemies. In fact, think of the person who has most hurt you or who most annoys you and spend several minutes each day thanking God for that person and asking God to bless him or her.
25. Pray for an end to abortion on demand in the United States. Pray for pregnant women contemplating abortion.
26. Pray for a just peace in Iraq, Afghanistan, the Holy Land and elsewhere. Pray for our troops and for others in harm’s way.
27. Pray for an end to capital punishment. Pray for those on death row, and for the families of murder victims.
28. Find a form of fasting that is appropriate for you, given your age, state of health, and state of life. Some fast on bread and water on Wednesdays and Fridays. Some fast from sweets or alcohol throughout Lent. Some fast on one or more days per week from breakfast all the way to dinner, spending lunch hour in prayer or at noon Mass. Some cut out all snacks between meals. The money saved from not buying various things should be given to an apostolate or ministry serving the physically or spiritually poor.
29. Prayer is like breathing – you have to do it continually. But sometimes you need to pause and take a very deep breath. That’s what a retreat is. Plan a retreat this Lent. It could be simply a half day, out in nature, or in a Church. Or it could be a full day. Or an overnight. You can certainly read lots of things during your retreat or listen to lots of talks. But try sticking to Scripture, the liturgy, and quiet as much as you can. During or at the end of the retreat, write down what the Holy Spirit seems to be saying.
30. Find a written biography of a Saint that particularly appeals to you, and read it during the Season of Lent.
31. Instead of secular videos for weekend entertainment, try some videos that will enrich your spiritual life. Suggestions: Jesus of Nazareth, by Franco Zeffirelli, The Scarlet and the Black, the Assisi Underground.
32. While driving, turn off the secular radio for awhile and use commute time to listen to some teaching on audiocassette or CD. Some great resources can be purchased through this site or from other Catholic apostolates and publishers that you can find on our links page.
33. Find a local homeless shelter, soup kitchen, or crisis pregnancy center, and volunteer some time there throughout Lent. Serve the people there with the understanding that in so doing, you are serving Jesus. Try to see Jesus in each person there.
34. Visit someone at a nursing home or in the hospital or sick at home. Again, love Jesus in and through the suffering person.
35. Is there a widow or divorced person living in your neighborhood? If so, invite that person to your home for dinner, coffee, etc.
36. View Mel Gibson’s movie The Passion of the Christ during Lent on VHS or DVD, if you feel you can handle the violence. Get a copy of The Guide to the Passion to help you get the most out of the movie.
37. Invite folks to view The Passion of the Christ with you, especially people whose faith is rather nominal, or who do not practice their faith, or who do not profess Christian faith at all. Give them a copy of The Guide to the Passion.
38. Spend some focused time with your spouse, strengthening your marriage. Start praying together, or make praying together a more frequent occurrence.
39. Spend some focused time together with each of your children. Listen. Pray. Maybe even have fun.
40. When Easter comes, don’t drop the new practice you’ve begun during the Season Lent! Make a permanent feature of a deeper Christian life!

---

God Bless and Happy Lent

Paul

Related articles

• Ash Wednesday, Triduum & Lent (warmsouthernbreeze.wordpress.com)
• Are you ready for Lent? (furmanccm.wordpress.com)
• A simple act of kindness (unfinishedperson.com)
• Lent (andrewjamespennington.wordpress.com)
• Thinking about lent… (trishborgdorff.wordpress.com)
• Praying the Hail Mary Like Never Before | The Integrated Catholic Life (convertrosaryandart.com)
• Let’s pray the litany for Lent (geneveith.com)
• Clergy to collect prayers for Lent (mirror.co.uk)
• Local Christians feast before Lenten fast (dispatch.com)
• What is Lent Anyway, Besides Strange? (logicandimagination.wordpress.com)
• Lent (strugglingonthejourney.wordpress.com)
• What is Lent?. (greatriversofhope.wordpress.com)
• Mardi Gras… womp womp. (backrowcatholic.wordpress.com)
• Lent 2011! (culturalawakening.wordpress.com)
• Local Christians feast in days before Lent’s fasting (dispatch.com)
• Lent… (ovbinker.wordpress.com)
• Phat Tuesday (scatterbrainjane.com)
• Ash Wednesday (sacredheartcatholicchurchcrosbytexas.wordpress.com)
• Give it up! (maryannbenjamins.wordpress.com)
• "What are you giving up for lent?" (metamorphosisofthemind.wordpress.com)
• Sister Joan Chittister, OSB: Ash Wednesday and Lent: Beginning Again Always (huffingtonpost.com)
• Giving Up on Lent (andrawatkins.com)
• Lent is about giving things up (ericsammons.com)
• A Beard for Lent (paulcornell.com)
• How the Season of Lent Can Motivate You (fitsugar.com)

 

What’s on your reading list?

Cover via Amazon

One of my favorite speakers is Mathew Kelly (Web Site), he is a Catholic speaker, a very dynamic speaker. His main point is becoming the best version of yourself, he believes that we all need to work at perfecting the gift of life. One way he tells us to do this is to read, he always states that we are what we read…. And I for one agree with this. Reading is the key for anyone who truly wants to change who and what they are and believe. So he is my current reading list:

 

Books:

• The 7 (The seven wonders that will change your life)  -Glenn Beck & Keith Ablow, MD
• The Bourne Sanction –Eric Van Lustbader
• The Collected works –Thomas Paine
• The Rules of Life –Richard Templar
• Guns, Germs, and Steel –Jared Diamond
• The Politically Incorrect Guide to the Constitution –Kevin R.C. Gutzman, J.D., PHd
• The Holy Bible –God

Magazines and Newspapers

• Townhall Magazine
• The Wander Newspaper
• Imprimis Newsletter
• Envoy Magazine

As you can see, I like to read, and I like to mix my reading, although the above list is very heavy into politics, this is not always the case, other times it is heavy in religion, it just depends on my current state of mind.

Each and every book, magazine and newspaper helps to define me, helps me to clarify my worldview. I have and will continue to read both Conservative and Liberal sources. But I will admit I read more Conservative than Liberal. But I do like to sometimes see what the other side has to say. And I even learn something from them, from time to time.

If you are old enough you will remember this saying from TV ad’s that ran in the 1970:

“Reading is Fundamental”

So true, and Matthew Kelly has it right, you are what you read, so read read and read everything you can, but just make sure they are positive and uplifting. Reading negative or depressing books, magazines & Newspapers will only make you a negative and depressed person. This is why I read several books at one time (the above list is my active reading list… I am reading each one at this moment), it allows me to select the book that will best serve  my needs at this particular time. If I need a book to lift me up I will read The 7, if I am looking to deepen my faith life, I will choose from the Bible or Envoy Magazine. If I want general entertainment it’s the Bourne book.  With Lent upon us, I am sure I will be adding to my reading list, picking books designed to help me along my path and to deepen my faith.

Some books I have been reading for about a year, others I finish in a week or two. And at times I will dedicate myself to one book until it is complete. I allow my needs and moods dictate my reading habits.

God Bless

Paul

Related articles

• Flashbacks: When We Least Expect it Our Ancestors Reach Out to Embrace Us (psychologytoday.com)
• Reciting Constitution on House floor will have "no practical impact" (shortformblog.com)
• Glenn Beck Reassures America He Did Not Write A Gay Parenting Book, But a ‘Happy’ Book (queerty.com)
• Common Sense, by Thomas Paine (seviercountyteaparty.wordpress.com)
• Glenn Beck on ‘Today’: Controversial commentator compares himself to Jon Stewart, ‘The Simpsons’ (popwatch.ew.com)
• Tony Gilroy To Pen ‘The Bourne Legacy’ (screenrant.com)
• Thoughts on ‘The Bourne Legacy’ Candidates (screenrant.com)
• Beck Admits: ‘I Was A Very Bad Man’ (huffingtonpost.com)
• Who Killed the Constitution? A Call for Prosecution. (defendingthefounders.com)
• Thomas Paine and the Promise of America (benjamindavidsteele.wordpress.com)
• Read any good bricks lately? (ask.metafilter.com)
• Psychiatrist says Egyptian uprising may occur in America due to Obamacare (gunnyg.wordpress.com)
• Glenn Beck: How he recovered his life and free will (today.msnbc.msn.com)
• Glenn Beckwatch: "Comedy is comedy." (slog.thestranger.com)
• Bill O’Reilly And Panel Debate: Is The Media Exploiting Charlie Sheen? (mediaite.com)
• Sad it is, I agree that there will NOT be any Mr. or Ms. Smith’s going to Washington. Hope that thought is completely in error, but.. (oforchristsakes.wordpress.com)
• Guernica / Julian Assange: The Hidden Curse of Thomas Paine (indigenist.blogspot.com)
• Dr. Keith on Imperfect Parents (foxnews.com)
• Why the West rules — for now (jnd.org)
• Shambala, Ljubljana, Slovenia (bloglunch.net)
• Where are we off to? (learningfromdogs.com)
• Glenn Beck: I Used To Be A ‘Very Bad Man’ (crooksandliars.com)
• Glenn Beck Promises He Didn’t Write A "Gay Parenting Handbook," Cover Begs To Differ (mediaite.com)
• ‘Comedy Is Comedy’: Glenn Beck Defends Hate Speech Charge To Meredith Vieira (mediaite.com)
• Today Show’s Meredith Vieira Confronts Glenn Beck About His Professional Behavior (socyberty.com)
• Glenn Beck Totally Looks Like Ralphie (totallylookslike.icanhascheezburger.com)
• Easy Breezy Ceiling-Mounted Speakers (patspapers.com)
• Shox Mini Speaker – The Only Portable Speaker You’ll Ever Need! (simplewreck.wordpress.com)
• Update: Madonna University Cancels Planned Parenthood Speaker After CNS Raises Concern (deaconjohnspace.wordpress.com)
• Catholic mothers debate breastfeeding and government involvement :: Catholic News Agency (CNA) (deaconforlife.blogspot.com)
• Love, marriage and the baby carriage :: Catholic News Agency (CNA) (deaconforlife.blogspot.com)
• Audio Two-fer – Sneaker speakers and DIY Mid-Fi woofers (hackaday.com)
• Altec Lansing Takes Us Behind the Scenes: Creating a Speaker Prototype (geardiary.com)
• Census 2006 – Dublin Non-Catholics and Non-Religious (politics.ie)
• Bump Wireless Speakers Make Large Wired Speakers Passe (connectwithyourteens.net)
• Krator Desktop Speakers Inspired By Sydney Opera House (crunchgear.com)
• "An Update on Android Market Security" and related posts (googlemobile.blogspot.com)
• "Rebels in Libya continue to push toward Tripoli" and related posts (globalpost.com)
• "More pictures of the Sony Ericsson Windows Phone 7 prototype" and related posts (wmpoweruser.com)
• "Wall Street Journal Reports Wisconsin Senate Democrats Will Allow Vote On Union Bill" and related posts (dekerivers.wordpress.com)
• "Good News for Lindsay Lohan? Jeweler in Theft Case Sells Key Evidence" and related posts (popeater.com)