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Retreat to Success: A Book Review


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Anyone who has read my blog or knows me, knows that I love to read. You would also know that I love to read all different types of books, from Catholic to Stephen King and everything in-between, reading is the elixir of life, books are your friend when no one else it, books are the educators that don’t judge and the parents that teach you silently. I love books, I love to read, even in this day-and-age of eBooks, I still prefer the good old fashion paper books.

When ever I travel I always bring a few books, on my last trip to Mexico City I brought along a Stephen King book, “The wind through the key hole” and “Bill & Billy Moyer and Amber Fogarty’s “Retreat to Success”. This is the second book I have read by Bill & Billy, their fist, “Seeds of Success” was a joy to read and I was looking forward to reading “Retreat to Success”.

Product Details

Like there first book, “Retreat” was short and to the point, something I love in self-help books. They see no reason to waste the reader’s time with lots of words, but rather, they get to the point and move on. Time is valuable and they understand this. But leaving out the unneeded words does nothing to diminish the effectiveness of this little book, in fact, if anything, it makes this book even more valuable is someone’s collection.

Each chapter of this book alternates between the three different authors as they journey together through a retreat. The insights they gain, the struggles they face and the lessons learned are laid out. Each unit contains the retreat masters questions and the attendees take-a-ways. Having attended weekend retreats before, I understand the mental and physical toll this can take on a person, the pure physical exhaustion one feels at the end of the retreat along with the feeling of accomplishment. I know, for me, that my mind races and new thoughts and ideas abound within me, and I seem to find new and exciting insights in every word uttered by the retreat master. To me that hard part is digesting the information, to find the one of two points that speak directly to my life, to my needs. Bill, Billy and Amber did just that, they where able to find the nuggets of information that not only spoke to them and there needs, but also to me. They made it personal, not only to themselves, but also personal to me. That is a hard thing to do, I know, I try to make that happen in each and every blog I write, it a fine wire between writhe an article that speaks to everyone and a journal that speaks to only the author, “Retreat to Success” does just that, if speaks to everyone.

I would recommend this book, along with their first book, to anyone who is serious about wanting to grow, to grow as a parent, a wife or husband or a business leader. Leadership is not just a corporate thing, in fact I would say that true leadership is more a  humanity thing than anything else. We all are leaders, or at least we all should be. By spend a few hours with a hot cup of tea, curled up in your favorite chair reading “Retreat to Success” will be time well spent. 

I love to read, I love to learn and I love to grow, and “Retreat to Success” fulfilled all three objectives. So what was my take-a-way from this book, what one nugget did I dig out of the book, that a goal should not be a tangible thing but an idea. For example, my goal should not be “I want to make a million dollars”, sure it’s a fine goal, but once I make it, than what. My goal should be “I want to be successful in my company”. The difference, the first goal places a value on my success, a million dollars, the second leaves room for continues improvement. Success is a moving target, something I need to always be monitoring and adjusting my actions to achieve, and in truth, one never fully achieves this goal, because success is a continuation, it never stops calling to you. Success is not measured by dollar amounts, but by relevance. How relevant are you? Whose life have you effected today, in a positive manner and how have your actions or lack of actions made a difference in the world around you, these are the measures of success, not how much money you have or how big your house is. Success is not things, success is legacy, what did you leave behind for others?

Read, learn and grow, the keys to success. Add Bill, Billy and Amber’s book “Retreat to Success” to your book collection, read it, learn from it and grow. It will be time well spent.

God Bless

paul

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

Link to their web site, SOS Leadership

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Guest Blogger: Is Having an Ego Good or Bad? By Rolland D Hurley


Is Having an Ego Good or Bad?

By Rolley D Hurley

Expert Author Rolley D Hurley

As I study the realm of thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and emotions in the psyche of humanity; I have become intrigued by the diverse description and explanation of the human Ego. Although it is found in every one of us, the usual reference has depicted its meaning as an unworthy or negative trait. There has been very little comparison otherwise and therefore lays my dilemma. When I look into the unseen forces of nature, and evaluate what I believe is my true spiritual essence, it is hard for me to discard this natural inherent element called "Ego".

(Read More here)

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Rolley_D_Hurley

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I hope you enjoyed this article, for my point of view read: Ego: Good or Bad

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

 
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Posted by on June 12, 2012 in Ego, life coach, Self, selfhelp

 

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Writing Your Life Resume


We all have created resumes in our life, it includes our education and work experience and sometimes we include the clubs and organizations we belong to. It is a must to get a new job. Our résumé is our foot in the door, it opens up the opportunities to a better job for ourselves. It is our work life history. But is it our history, does it truly represent us?
 

Leonardo’s résumé

resume

Leonardo sent the following letter to Ludovico Sforza, the ruler of Milan, in 1482:

Most Illustrious Lord: Having now sufficiently seen and considered the proofs of all those who count themselves masters and inventors in the instruments of war, and finding that their invention and use does not differ in any respect from those in common practice, I am emboldened… to put myself in communication with your Excellency, in order to acquaint you with my secrets. I can construct bridges which are very light and strong and very portable with which to pursue and defeat an enemy… I can also make a kind of cannon, which is light and easy of transport, with which to hurl small stones like hail… I can noiselessly construct to any prescribed point subterranean passages — either straight or winding — passing if necessary under trenches or a river… I can make armored wagons carrying artillery, which can break through the most serried ranks of the enemy. In time of peace, I believe I can give you as complete satisfaction as anyone else in the construction of buildings, both public and private, and in conducting water from one place to another. I can execute sculpture in bronze, marble or clay. Also, in painting, I can do as much as anyone, whoever he may be. If any of the aforesaid things should seem impossible or impractical to anyone, I offer myself as ready to make a trial of them in your park or in whatever place shall please your Excellency, to whom I commend myself with all possible humility.

 

Our resumes tell our potential employer all about our work life, who we are, what we have accomplished, normally resumes are short, one to two pages and direct, to the point, leaving out the fluff. How often do you update your résumé, this exercise is in valuable, something that we should do yearly. refresh it, refine it and redefine our work life.

We should be doing the same with our personal life as well, create a Life Resume, listing our accomplishments and our goals, defining ourselves in short and concise statements, leaving out all the fluff.  What would your personal Life Resume look like? Would it include lots of personal development or social activities or would it be more traditional education and institutional? Would your Life resume include diverse hobbies or more mundane tasks?

Our life is an ever-changing series of events, we are not the same person today as we were yesterday, our life experiences shape us, change us and help us to grow. By sitting down and creating a Life resume, we will see the changes, see the growth, by organizing our life in to sections, categories, we will learn how we define ourselves.

Life Resume Outline:

Profile:

This heading would include your description of yourself, weight, sex, age, birth date and other vital statistics. Use this section as a starting point, include the current date.

Professional Experience:

In this section include all your work experiences, from paperboy to CEO. List your accomplishments and responsibilities. Include your starting age and ending age.

Life Experience:

In this section include life events, Baptism, Conformation Graduation from High School, Wedding, birth of Children etc.… Any milestone event in your life.

Education:

This section should include only formal education, completed or not completed. Indicate your age at time of completion or age when you took courses

Personal Development:

This section would include seminars, Continuing education courses or just for the fun of it courses offered at your local community centers. Indicate your age at the time of taking

Hobbies:

Include all hobbies from past to present, indicate your age of start and end From stamp collecting to master crafts maker.

Goals:

This section should include all your goals, from a young person up till now. Indicate your age at the time of the goal. Include everything from wanting to be a cowboy to taking over the world.

Achievements:

This section should list all your life achievements, from winning the spelling bee to closing that major deal. Include your age at the time of the achievement.

Completion of the Life resume may take you some time, and in truth, you are never finished with your Life Resume, it is a living breathing document. But the first “draft” should include as much past history as possible. Why include events that have already gone by, to show you how much you have already accomplished. We have done more than we often times give ourselves credit for, Why include your age, to show a progression of thoughts and growth. For example, if I stated that in 1976 I wanted to be a cowboy, I would have to do the math to figure out how old I was and in truth, it seems to far in the past, but stating that when I was 10 I wanted to be a cowboy, the year does not matter, but the age places my goal in the right context. I can clearly see a growth for Cowboy at 10 to owning my own company at 20. Simple is better, the less math I have to do, the better.

Creating and maintaining your Life Resume will help you bring clarity to your life, showing you how you have grown and evolved, and were you may be stuck. You will start to see patterns develop in your life and you will learn to appreciate and celebrate the little life achievements as much as you do the big life achievements.

Make a point to review your Life resume at least once a month, and when you edit it, include the date of edit, create a history of your Life Resume. Never remove information, only add, if information was incorrect, correct it, but leave the incorrect information intact, use Microsoft editing tools, to use the cross-out tool to remove the unwanted information, (example)

Goal: I want to be a cowboy Spy, age 10

Why keep the old or incorrect information, to show your progression, your thought process. As we continue to edit our Life Resume, we will begin to remember facts. As we begin to remember Life facts, we will start to gain a more clear picture of our past, as our past becomes more clear, we may need to correct our facts. And understanding our past, gaining a clearer picture of our past will help us define our future.

Good luck with this project, and I will post mine on this site and on the Guided Insight Life Coach website soon. You may want to consider using a Life Coach to help you create and define your Life Resume, they can help you add clarity to your visions and goals.

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

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Words and Power


Benjamin Franklin

Benjamin Franklin (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Words are powerful things; they have the power to change history, to create revolution and to mend broken hearts. I was reminded of this fact this morning when I gave the following quote to a friend:

There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one’s self.

Benjamin Franklin

The quote is a tab bit hard to understand unless you take the time to see the words as they are. When I first read it, I read it as only two things, stealing a diamond and knowing thy self. I missed the nuance of the punctuation, and of course my mind replace steal for steel. This friend also did the same, but in order to “fix” the problem they wanted to rewrite the quote, or better yet, reorder the words. They wanted

There are three things extremely hard: a diamond, steel, and to know one’s self.

Yes, it makes the reading a bit easier on us, but it is not what Mr. Franklin said, and not how he wanted it stated. For anyone who knows Ben knows that he loved the English language and was a master at it. I do not know for sure, but I would venture to guess that he placed the words exactly as he did for a very specific purpose. Regardless, his words should be represented as he stated them. Words are very powerful indeed, and rearranging them or substituting them can and often does cause issues.

Misunderstandings are often the result of misplaced or missed used words. The Founding Fathers understood this, and knew the power of the written word, the permanence of them and the importance of each word. The Catholic Church is known to spend years debating the simplest of words, knowing that a simple, yet very important distinction are between using one word over another. Nuances in communication is extremely important, politicians know this, this is why they hire speech writers and practice there talking points, a simple slip-up can cause them to lose the election. We often call the gaffes, but what they really are, are moments of truth.

Words, spoken or written have the power to shape our destinies or destroy our past. Historians understand this, they understand how they can write about our Founders, telling the truth, yet leading you to a conclusion that is anything but the truth. The omission of words alters the facts, but leaves behind the basic truth.

We recently saw this in the Trayvon Martian case. The news media played the tape, the call from George Zimmerman, but by omitting one seeming simple line of conversation, the narrative changed. Words have the power to unite or to divide.

It seems to me, that we have lost the art of words; we have simplified them, dumb them down and turned them into meaningless letters. For example, take the word “Fair”, we hear it almost daily, “Fair share” “Fair Play”, as is “All Americans deserve a fair share of the American Dream”. I agree, but I would venture to guess that my understanding of Fair is not the majorities understanding. Most would think of fair as equal, as in, if one person has the dream, to be fair about it, all should have the dream. Not so, fair does not mean equal.

free from bias, dishonesty, or injustice: a fair decision; a fair judge. (Source)

To be fair only means to offer the same,

as great as; the same as (often followed by to or with ): The velocity of sound is not equal to that of light. (Source)

Take your time, read the definitions and you will notice the nuance, the words have meaning…

We need to return to the day when words had meanings, when the power of words were understood and respected. How did we get to this point, I am not sure, I have my own theories, but they are just that, mine. I would place the blame on the dummying down of America, instead of keeping our standards high and expecting people to reach for them, we have lowered the standards, all in the name of fairness, so all can reach them. Our newspapers use to be written at the 9th grade level, now many are written at the 5th grade level, our leaders use to be statesmen, speaking and writing as such, but now they strive to be everydaymen. Our schools use to expect excellence but now promote fairness, is hopes of being inclusive and accepting of all, to offer a fair chance for all to excel, yet most will not.

Our Founders understood something we have seem to have forgotten, they understood that we all deserve a fair chance at success, but we all will not achieve it. They understood that my success is not your success that each person is unique, that success is individual, not communal that fairness does not equate to equal, and that the guarantee of The Pursuit of Happiness is not the same as the guarantee of happiness. Our Founders understood the power of words, and based on them a new nation was born, a revolution declared and lives placed in the balance to defend them.

The United States was and is a Nation based on words, based on the nuances of the words and many a brave man and woman have spilled their blood upon the ground in defense of those words.

So is it really a big deal if someone reorders or replaces a word, to simplify the words, to bring them down to make them more “accessible”, Yes, I think so, I think words have meaning, have power and purpose, and to lower them, to bring them down, even in the name of understanding, is wrong. Instead, we should be striving to raise ourselves up, to strive to understand and to learn. Our Founding Fathers, many of them self-educated, saw the power in them, understood the need for them and knew that this new nation would rise up to them, and defend them or die. Patrick Henry understood:

It is in vain, sir, to extenuate the matter. Gentlemen may cry, Peace, Peace– but there is no peace. The war is actually begun! The next gale that sweeps from the north will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms! Our brethren are already in the field! Why stand we here idle? What is it that gentlemen wish? What would they have? Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death! (Source)

Words have meaning… Words have power… Make your word count…

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

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Destructive Thinking


I thought I would share another found article….

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post written by: Marc

10 Destructive Faults in Our Way of Thinking

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The human mind is wonderful and powerful, but it’s far from perfect.  There are several common judgment errors that it’s prone to making.  In the field of Psychology these are known as cognitive biases, or fallacies in reasoning.  They happen to everyone regardless of age, sex, education or intelligence.

Over the past few months I’ve become fascinated by these biases and fallacies, so I’ve readImage several books about them.  Today I want to share ten of them with you.  They are the ones I repeatedly notice myself and those closest to me struggling with.  My hope is that you will use the information in this article to pinpoint these destructive patterns in your own thinking, and break free from them before they send you spiraling down the wrong path.

  1. Negative self-fulfilling prophecies. – A self-fulfilling prophecy is a prediction that motivates a person to take actions that cause the prediction to come true.  This kind of thinking often tears relationships apart and causes people to fail at their goals.  Here are two typical examples:  1.) A man believes that his relationship with his new girlfriend is “never going to last.”  So he stops putting effort into the relationship, pulls away emotionally, and a month later the relationship fails.  2.) An intelligent undergraduate in the field of health convinces herself that she “doesn’t have what it takes” to become a doctor, so she therefore never completes the prerequisites for medical school, and thus never becomes a doctor.
  2. Only taking credit for positive outcomes. – This destructive thinking pattern occurs when we take full credit for our successes, but deny responsibility for our failures.  A perfect example of this can be witnessed in school classrooms across the globe.  When students receive a good grade, they often attribute it to their intelligence and their excellent study habits.  But when they get a bad grade, they attribute some of their failure to a bad teacher, an unfair set of test questions, or a subject matter that “isn’t needed in the real world anyway.”  The bottom line is that in order for a person to grow emotionally, they must be willing to take full responsibility for all of their actions and outcomes – successes and failures alike.
  3. Believing we are immune to temptation. – We have far less control over our impulsive desires than we often believe.  Sex, food, and drug addictions are extreme examples of this.  Many addicts believe they can quit anytime they want, but in reality they are simply lying to themselves.  But you don’t have to be an addict to be vulnerable to temptation.  Lots of smart people end up impulsively giving in to temptation simply because it’s the easiest way to get rid of it.  It sounds ridiculous, but it’s true.  If someone wants to get rid of sexual desire, the easiest way is to have sex.  If someone wants to get rid of hunger pain, the easiest way is to eat.  Restraining from impulsive behavior in the face of temptation is not easy; it takes a great deal of self-control.  So be careful, because when we have an inflated sense of control over our impulses, we tend to overexpose ourselves to temptation, which in turn promotes the impulsive behavior we want to avoid.
  4. Passing a broad judgment from an isolated incident. – An inaccurate first impression is a decent example of this one.  It’s about our natural human tendency to evaluate a person or situation from a bird’s eye view, and then presume to know enough to pass a reasonable judgment.  This happens a lot in the corporate working world.  A newer employee might show up late to work after experiencing legitimate car trouble, but their boss immediately becomes suspicious that they are not committed and responsible, and treats them as such for several weeks thereafter.  The obvious solution here is to look at the big picture before you start pointing fingers or making assumptions.
  5. Believing we can control the uncontrollable. – This thinking fallacy occurs when people begin to believe that they have some kind of direct influence or power over an external event that is completely random.  It is especially evident in the minds of amateur gamblers; especially those who have had a recent string of good luck.  For example, if you flipped a coin and asked someone to guess heads or tails, and they got it right ten times in a row, they might begin to believe that their good luck is confirmation that they have control over the outcome of each flip.  But the truth is that there is always a 50% probability of their answer being correct, and their last ten guesses were pure luck.
  6. Ignoring information that does not support a belief. – Psychologists commonly refer to this as the confirmation bias.  We as human beings naturally tend to look for information that confirms and supports our beliefs, and we tend to overlook information that does not.  We are selective in the evidence we choose to collect so that we don’t have to challenge our way of thinking, because it’s easier not to.  This destructive thinking trap is very common, and it can have detrimental effects on our productivity when we make big decisions based on false information.
  7. Beginner’s optimism. – Beginner’s optimism is the human tendency to underestimate the time required to complete an unfamiliar task.  It occurs due to a lack of planning and research on behalf of someone who is excited about doing something they have never done before.  In other words, when we get assigned a new task that we are anxious to get started on, instead of delaying the start time to accurately evaluate the level of difficulty and resources required, we simply guess and begin.  Thus, our expectation of the workload is based on raw optimism instead past experience and reliable data.  And it all backfires on us a little later when we find ourselves knee deep in work we were unprepared for.
  8. Rebelling simply to prove personal freedom. – Although more common in children, this thinking fallacy can affect people of any age.  It’s basically a person’s urge to do something they have been told not to do, for fear that their freedom of choice is being taken away from them.  This person may not even want to do whatever they are doing to rebel; however, the simple fact that they are not supposed to do it motivates them to do so anyway.  The tactic of reverse psychology is a commonly used method of exploiting this thinking fallacy in others.
  9. Judging a person’s capabilities based solely on the way they look. – This happens thousands of times a day worldwide when one person assumes something about another person based on their immediate appearance.  For example, someone might see a tall, well groomed man in his early fifties, wearing a business suit, and instantly assume he is successful and reliable, even though there is zero concrete evidence to support this assumption.  Bottom line:  You can’t judge a book by its cover.
  10. Trying to diminish losses by continuing to pursue a previous failure. – Sometimes called the sunk cost fallacy, this is a thinking fault that motivates us to continue to support a previously unsuccessful endeavor.  We justify our decision to continue investing in this failed endeavor based on our cumulative prior investment, despite new evidence suggesting that the cost, starting today, of continuing to pursue it outweighs the expected benefit.  The logical thing to do would be for us to cut our losses and change our course of action.  However, due to the sunk costs we have already invested, we feel committed to the endeavor, so we invest even more time, money and energy into it, hoping that our additional investment will reverse the outcome.  But it never will.

If you can relate to some of these destructive thinking faults, and you’re interested in learning more about them, give these books a read.  All three are equally incredible:

Photo by: Pejman Parvandi

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I hope you found this article helpful…

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach 

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How Folding PJ’s Changes my life


Sometimes it is hard to even start to write this blog, sometimes my mind just goes blank. Call it writers block, or what ever you want, all I know is that it is very frustrating to me. My goal is to try to write something each and everyday, I want to improve my writing, my relaying of information, and the only way to do that is to practice, and the only way to practice writing, is to write and read. The reading thing I got down, I read everyday, even if it is just a few news stories online. However the writing thing, well that’s a different story, I try to write everyday, I launch my editor everyday, I even sometimes start to type, but more often than not I delete what I have written and don’t post.

I understand that it is not an earth shattering event if I don’t post to my blog, that my readers will make it through the day, and there lives will continue, but for me it is a disappointment. I have difficulties remaining committed to tasks I set for myself. I, like a lot of people, start out strong, but seem to fizzle out shortly after the start.  I don’t give up, completely, I just fizzle…

Lets look at a few tasks that turned into Fizzles:

TASK: Eating Healthy

GOAL: Weight Loss and over all Health

At the start, I was all for it, I cleaned my cupboards and frig, tossed out what was unhealthy, tossed my snack foods and when shopping for healthy alternatives, I are carrots and other healthy stuff.  I did good for about 4 weeks, basically until I had to go shopping again. Even then it want to bad, I mostly purchased healthy stuff, but the next trip, all was lost. I was back to my old self, more or less. I did change some of my eating habits, I now go meatless two days a week, eating fish at least one day per week. I try to eat more heatlyish meals, I add more veggies to my plate and try to keep my portion size down. But my gusto for the over all healthy food didn’t take, only part of it did.

TASK: Write a Book

GOAL: Get Published

This task is somewhat different that most tasks I have, it is a task that is, in some ways completed, but in others not. I have written several manuals, for he faith formation program I, along with a partner, created. We self published the material and used it with in our parish. We did attempt to market the program, but to no success. So in one way I have already been published. But this goal is more about creating a book, not a manual, but a book for the public. I have started several “drafts” if you can call them that. I have had several ideas for a book, even began the work on them, but never get to far into it. Here i s my problem, I have research, and to write a book, you need to do research. So I always get stuck right after I lay out the concept, the ideas of what this book should look like, should be about. Once I have to do the research, I abandon the task. So I need to learn how to get over that, or I will never get published. Learn to love research or learn to pay for it, those are my two choices.

TASK: Blog Daily

Goal: Improve writing skills

This task has had several starts and stops. I started off strong on a blog called STATIC Youth, I posted daily, sometimes 2 times a day for month, never missing a day, unless I was just unable to get to the net. I even started a second blog, You Can Be new, and posted to it daily. I decided that posting to 2 blogs was just to hard, so I started to just repost the same article to both blogs, eventually I merged them into one, and renamed the STATIC blog to View Point: Paul, that blog was than merged into this blog here, An American Point of view, all the articles from both blogs were migrated to this new blog and on I went. But my postings have become less and less, my daily habit drifted away and I am finding it harder to post. This, I feel is due to the same reason that I never write my book. I made a resolution that I would do more research in to my blogs, provide more links and facts, rather than just my opinion. Because I hate research, I post less, but this may be changing, I may decide to post with or with out the back ground research, just my view-point.

So as you can see, I have issues with commitment to my own tasks, I am striving to improve, and I have, over the past few years, but I have a long way to go. I will get my book written one day, and published, I will continue to improve my eating habits and I will blog more and more. It’s all connected, this I have discovered.

Not every task I start ends up as a fizzle, for example, I decided that I would keep a tidier home. My house was never “dirty” but at times it can become untidy. So I decided to start with one task, as silly as they may sound, folding my PJ’s at night before I put them away at night. This one task has lead to many other life style changes, simple and silly as that may seem. Not sure why, but I think it was just an over all mind change. For 46 years I never concerned myself with folding PJ’s, I just stuck them in a drawer to be pulled out the next night, but now, my PJ’s a re folded, my shoes are but away each night, I polish and shine them more often (I never bothered before) and my over all bedroom remains tidy. All because I decided to fold my PJ’s.

So I know that the other tasks will happen one day, once I find there PJ’s that I need to fold. The one little task that will become the life style change I need, what ever it is.

Life is full of PJ’s, that one thing that triggers the rest to fall in to place. You know what I mean, you will walk up to that life long smoker and notice they quit. You ask them what happen and they say, Just decided it was time. They may have decided it was time hundreds of times before, but for some reason this time it was time. What changed? What made this time the right time?

The goal in life is to find your PJ’s, that one life changing event that will alter your course and set you on the path to greatness. Not greatness in the worlds eyes, but greatness in your own, greatness in the only way it matters, greatness of character and being.

That task that we place before ourselves are all created to achieve the same end, to become all we are made to be, to become the greatness we know we are to be. Each “failure” is just a lesson needed to be learned, and opportunity to fold your PJ’s yet again, in hopes that this will be your time, your moment to greatness.

Opportunities present themselves constantly, the next pair of PJ’s are always out there before us, if we choose to see them and to fold them. All we have to do is look.

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

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9 Timeless Leadership Lessons from Cyrus the Great


I found this on the web and thought it would be a good article to share. I hope you enjoy.

——-START——

9 Timeless Leadership Lessons from Cyrus the Great

Cyrus The Great

Cyrus The Great (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Forget 1-800-CEO Read. The greatest book on business and leadership was written in the 4th century BC by a Greek about a Persian King. Yeah, that’s right.

Behold: Cyrus the Great, the man that historians call “the most amiable of conquerors,” and the first king to found “his empire on generosity” instead of violence and tyranny. Consider Cyrus the antithesis to Machiavelli’s ideal Prince. The author, himself the opposite of Machiavelli, was Xenophon, a student of Socrates.

The book is a veritable classic in the art of leadership, execution, and responsibility. Adapted from Larry Hendrick’s excellent translation, here are nine lessons in leadership from Xenophon’s Cyrus the Great:

Be Self-Reliant

“Never be slow in replenishing your supplies. You’ll always bee on better terms with your allies if you can secure your own provisions…Give them all they need and your troops will follow you to the end of the earth.”

Be Generous

“Success always calls for greater generosity–though most people, lost in the darkness of their own egos, treat it as an occasion for greater greed. Collecting boot [is] not an end itself, but only a means for building [an] empire. Riches would be of little use to us now–except as a means of winning new friends.”

Be Brief

“Brevity is the soul of command. Too much talking suggests desperation on the part of the leader. Speak shortly, decisively and to the point–and couch your desires in such natural logic that no one can raise objections. Then move on.”

Be a Force for Good

“Whenever you can, act as a liberator. Freedom, dignity, wealth–these three together constitute the greatest happiness of humanity. If you bequeath all three to your people, their love for you will never die.”

Be in Control

[After punishing some renegade commanders] “Here again, I would demonstrate the truth that, in my army, discipline always brings rewards.”

Be Fun

“When I became rich, I realized that no kindness between man and man comes more naturally than sharing food and drink, especially food and drink of the ambrosial excellence that I could now provide. Accordingly, I arranged that my table be spread everyday for many invitees, all of whom would dine on the same excellent food as myself. After my guests and I were finished, I would send out any extra food to my absent friends, in token of my esteem.”

Be Loyal

[When asked how he planned to dress for a celebration] “If I can only do well by my friends, I’ll look glorious enough in whatever clothes I wear.”

Be an Example

“In my experience, men who respond to good fortune with modesty and kindness are harder to find than those who face adversity with courage.”

Be Courteous and Kind

“There is a deep–and usually frustrated–desire in the heart of everyone to act with benevolence rather than selfishness, and one fine instance of generosity can inspire dozens more. Thus I established a stately court where all my friends showed respect to each other and cultivated courtesy until it bloomed into perfect harmony.”

There’s a reason Cyrus found students and admirers in his own time as well as the ages that followed. From Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin to Julius Caesar and Alexander (and yes, even Machiavelli) great men have read his inspiring example and put it to use in the pursuit of their own endeavors.

That isn’t bad company.

(Source: Forbes Web)

——-END——-

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach 

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Death and Positve aditude


Bridge-to-heaven-for-new-life-outreach-international_op_963x797As part of my weekend mornings, I love to sit and read the news, and now that I have an iPad, not only can I read the news, but now I can read articles from all kinds of different sources. One of my favorite apps for the iPad is Zite, a personalized magazine. Basically it allows you to choose the content, and based on your likes and dislikes, it customizes the content. I love it! I get to read a magazine that truly reflects my interest. I have Religion, Politics, The Beatles, Leadership, Reading and a few other topics all downloading to make my perfect magazine.

This morning as I was reading my Zite, I ran across an article that caught my eye, Thinking About Death Can Lead To A Good Life, definitely not your typical title. So I read it, and found that not only did I agree, but it was something I did naturally, and didn’t even realize the positive effects.  So I thought I would share the article with you:

Thinking About Death Can Lead To A Good Life

(source)

Article Date: 22 Apr 2012 – 0:00 PDT

Thinking about death can actually be a good thing. An awareness of mortality can improve physical health and help us re-prioritize our goals and values, according to a new analysis of recent scientific studies. Even non-conscious thinking about death – say walking by a cemetery – could prompt positive changes and promote helping others.
Past research suggests that thinking about death is destructive and dangerous, fueling everything from prejudice and greed to violence. Such studies related to terror management theory (TMT), which posits that we uphold certain cultural beliefs to manage our feelings of mortality, have rarely explored the potential benefits of death awareness.
“This tendency for TMT research to primarily deal with negative attitudes and harmful behaviors has become so deeply entrenched in our field that some have recently suggested that death awareness is simply a bleak force of social destruction,” says Kenneth Vail of the University of Missouri, lead author of the new study in the online edition of Personality and Social Psychology Review this month. “There has been very little integrative understanding of how subtle, day-to-day, death awareness might be capable of motivating attitudes and behaviors that can minimize harm to oneself and others, and can promote well-being.”
In constructing a new model for how we think about our own mortality, Vail and colleagues performed an extensive review of recent studies on the topic. They found numerous examples of experiments both in the lab and field that suggest a positive side to natural reminders about mortality.
For example, Vail points to a study by Matthew Gailliot and colleagues in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin in 2008 that tested how just being physically near a cemetery affects how willing people are to help a stranger. “Researchers hypothesized that if the cultural value of helping was made important to people, then the heightened awareness of death would motivate an increase in helping behaviors,” Vail says.
The researchers observed people who were either passing through a cemetery or were one block away, out of sight of the cemetery. Actors at each location talked near the participants about either the value of helping others or a control topic, and then some moments later, another actor dropped her notebook. The researchers then tested in each condition how many people helped the stranger.
“When the value of helping was made salient, the number of participants who helped the second confederate with her notebook was 40% greater at the cemetery than a block away from the cemetery,” Vail says. “Other field experiments and tightly controlled laboratory experiments have replicated these and similar findings, showing that the awareness of death can motivate increased expressions of tolerance, egalitarianism, compassion, empathy, and pacifism.”
For example, a 2010 study by Immo Fritsche of the University of Leipzig and co-authors revealed how increased death awareness can motivate sustainable behaviors when pro-environmental norms are made salient. And a study by Zachary Rothschild of the University of Kansas and co-workers in 2009 showed how an increased awareness of death can motivate American and Iranian religious fundamentalists to display peaceful compassion toward members of other groups when religious texts make such values more important.
Thinking about death can also promote better health. Recent studies have shown that when reminded of death people may opt for better health choices, such as using more sunscreen, smoking less, or increasing levels of exercise. A 2011 study by D.P. Cooper and co-authors found that death reminders increased intentions to perform breast self-exams when women were exposed to information that linked the behavior to self-empowerment.
One major implication of this body of work, Vail says, is that we should “turn attention and research efforts toward better understanding of how the motivations triggered by death awareness can actually improve people’s lives, rather than how it can cause malady and social strife.” Write the authors: “The dance with death can be a delicate but potentially elegant stride toward living the good life.”

Article adapted by Medical News Today from original press release. Click ‘references’ tab above for source.
Visit our psychology / psychiatry section for the latest news on this subject.

—–END—-

I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did… Gives you something to think about… Life is short, make it a great one!

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

Enhanced by Zemanta
 
 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Death and Positve aditude


Bridge-to-heaven-for-new-life-outreach-international_op_963x797As part of my weekend mornings, I love to sit and read the news, and now that I have an iPad, not only can I read the news, but now I can read articles from all kinds of different sources. One of my favorite apps for the iPad is Zite, a personalized magazine. Basically it allows you to choose the content, and based on your likes and dislikes, it customizes the content. I love it! I get to read a magazine that truly reflects my interest. I have Religion, Politics, The Beatles, Leadership, Reading and a few other topics all downloading to make my perfect magazine.

This morning as I was reading my Zite, I ran across an article that caught my eye, Thinking About Death Can Lead To A Good Life, definitely not your typical title. So I read it, and found that not only did I agree, but it was something I did naturally, and didn’t even realize the positive effects.  So I thought I would share the article with you:

Thinking About Death Can Lead To A Good Life

(source)

Article Date: 22 Apr 2012 – 0:00 PDT

Thinking about death can actually be a good thing. An awareness of mortality can improve physical health and help us re-prioritize our goals and values, according to a new analysis of recent scientific studies. Even non-conscious thinking about death – say walking by a cemetery – could prompt positive changes and promote helping others.
Past research suggests that thinking about death is destructive and dangerous, fueling everything from prejudice and greed to violence. Such studies related to terror management theory (TMT), which posits that we uphold certain cultural beliefs to manage our feelings of mortality, have rarely explored the potential benefits of death awareness.
“This tendency for TMT research to primarily deal with negative attitudes and harmful behaviors has become so deeply entrenched in our field that some have recently suggested that death awareness is simply a bleak force of social destruction,” says Kenneth Vail of the University of Missouri, lead author of the new study in the online edition of Personality and Social Psychology Review this month. “There has been very little integrative understanding of how subtle, day-to-day, death awareness might be capable of motivating attitudes and behaviors that can minimize harm to oneself and others, and can promote well-being.”
In constructing a new model for how we think about our own mortality, Vail and colleagues performed an extensive review of recent studies on the topic. They found numerous examples of experiments both in the lab and field that suggest a positive side to natural reminders about mortality.
For example, Vail points to a study by Matthew Gailliot and colleagues in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin in 2008 that tested how just being physically near a cemetery affects how willing people are to help a stranger. “Researchers hypothesized that if the cultural value of helping was made important to people, then the heightened awareness of death would motivate an increase in helping behaviors,” Vail says.
The researchers observed people who were either passing through a cemetery or were one block away, out of sight of the cemetery. Actors at each location talked near the participants about either the value of helping others or a control topic, and then some moments later, another actor dropped her notebook. The researchers then tested in each condition how many people helped the stranger.
“When the value of helping was made salient, the number of participants who helped the second confederate with her notebook was 40% greater at the cemetery than a block away from the cemetery,” Vail says. “Other field experiments and tightly controlled laboratory experiments have replicated these and similar findings, showing that the awareness of death can motivate increased expressions of tolerance, egalitarianism, compassion, empathy, and pacifism.”
For example, a 2010 study by Immo Fritsche of the University of Leipzig and co-authors revealed how increased death awareness can motivate sustainable behaviors when pro-environmental norms are made salient. And a study by Zachary Rothschild of the University of Kansas and co-workers in 2009 showed how an increased awareness of death can motivate American and Iranian religious fundamentalists to display peaceful compassion toward members of other groups when religious texts make such values more important.
Thinking about death can also promote better health. Recent studies have shown that when reminded of death people may opt for better health choices, such as using more sunscreen, smoking less, or increasing levels of exercise. A 2011 study by D.P. Cooper and co-authors found that death reminders increased intentions to perform breast self-exams when women were exposed to information that linked the behavior to self-empowerment.
One major implication of this body of work, Vail says, is that we should “turn attention and research efforts toward better understanding of how the motivations triggered by death awareness can actually improve people’s lives, rather than how it can cause malady and social strife.” Write the authors: “The dance with death can be a delicate but potentially elegant stride toward living the good life.”

Article adapted by Medical News Today from original press release. Click ‘references’ tab above for source.
Visit our psychology / psychiatry section for the latest news on this subject.

—–END—-

I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did… Gives you something to think about… Life is short, make it a great one!

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

Enhanced by Zemanta
 
 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Three Types of Change


word-cloud-change

All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward.

Ellen Glasgow

Being interested in and involved in the “Change” industry, I found this quote to be dead on, All too often we tend to think that if we are changing, it must be a positive thing, that we must be growing is some manner. Nothing could be further from the truth. Some change is neutral, you neither move forward nor back, your just stand still. Yet other changes seems to be more positive, we move forward, all-be-it, sometimes a little too slow for our liking, but it’s still a move forward. Change can also move us backwards, much to our dismay.

Let us look at each type of change and discover its potential:

Neutral Change:

The process of non-change, as it where, in the natural state we are neither moving forward nor back, we are just there. This state of being, I would venture, is the most common state. The state of contentment or resignation, we neither desire to change or do not possess the motivation to enact the steps necessary to change. In this state there is no complaining about your current state, but it does not mean you are satisfied with your current life, you may be, but you may also be just resigned to the fact that this is your life. This state can be a sort of sloth, a laziness or true contentment.

Forward Change:

This change is what most people would consider a positive change, a change that is moving you from one state to a new state. This is true, in a forward state you are moving in a new direction. However, the move may or may not be a positive move. For example, you may decide that you wish to advance your situation at work, to become a manager. To help you achieve this goal you start to read books on leadership and management. However, in your search for the right books, you are given bad advice and read books that teach you skills that cause you to back stab and claw your way to the top. You have now moved in a new direction, but that direction is not positive. It is not life affirming it is a direction that may get you that management position, but along the way you have destroyed yourself, and your relationships. Forward change is not always positive; we must pay close attention to how we go about achieving the change we desire.

Backward Change:

Using the example from above, you have now achieved your goal, you are a manager. Yet along the way you backstabbed many friends and you have neglected your relationships. Your life, simple, is a wreck. You have seen your failures, and no longer wish to remain the person you have become. You desire change. At this junction you have three choices. 1. Stay the course; learn to live with what you are. (Neutral) 2. Move forward, correction the misguided choices of the past. 3. Return back; Undo the changes to return to your former self.

This third choice, to move back, sounds like a retreat that you are giving up. However, nothing could be further from the truth. Ask any good General, and they will tell you that you need to know when to retreat. That a well-timed retreat can mean the difference between victory and defeat.

There are times in all our lives that we need to return to our past. Times that we must go back in order to truly move forward. In the example above, you may decide that returning to the “old” you bay be the best starting point to move forward to the “new” you. Especially if you never felt comfortable in the “current” you, you just created. Retreating to safety, back behind the lines, does not mean you are giving up the ground you have taken. Returning to the old you doesn’t mean you give up your new management position. However, it does mean that you must reevaluate your current position and decide if it fits into your new tactical plan.

Change is not a single war to be won, it is many battles, some are victories others are defeats and some are draws. Nevertheless, each battle is a part of the overall war. Only in war can an army lose most of the battles, yet still win the war. We must learn to choose our battles, to plan our attach and our retreats. Learn to be content with a draw and retreat as we are with a victory.

Recommended Reading:

Each of the four books looks at change and life. The first two are historical in nature, but offer lessons that we all should learn. I have read each book, learned life lessons and gained insight in to myself and the world around me. Each book will teach you about the three types of changes and the power of each. Happy reading!

Killing Lincoln

By: Bill O`Reilly

Publication Date: September 27, 2011

killing

A riveting historical narrative of the heart-stopping events surrounding the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, and the first work of history from mega-bestselling author Bill O’Reilly

The anchor of The O’Reilly Factor recounts one of the most dramatic stories in American history—how one gunshot changed the country forever. In the spring of 1865, the bloody saga of America’s Civil War finally comes to an end after a series of increasingly harrowing battles. President Abraham Lincoln‘s generous terms for Robert E. Lee‘s surrender are devised to fulfill Lincoln’s dream of healing a divided nation, with the former Confederates allowed to reintegrate into American society. But one man and his band of murderous accomplices, perhaps reaching into the highest ranks of the U.S. government, are not appeased.

In the midst of the patriotic celebrations in Washington D.C., John Wilkes Booth—charismatic ladies’ man and impenitent racist—murders Abraham Lincoln at Ford’s Theatre. A furious manhunt ensues and Booth immediately becomes the country’s most wanted fugitive. Lafayette C. Baker, a smart but shifty New York detective and former Union spy, unravels the string of clues leading to Booth, while federal forces track his accomplices. The thrilling chase ends in a fiery shootout and a series of court-ordered executions—including that of the first woman ever executed by the U.S. government, Mary Surratt. Featuring some of history’s most remarkable figures, vivid detail, and page-turning action, Killing Lincoln is history that reads like a thriller.

Being George Washington

By: Glenn Beck

Publication Date: November 22, 2011

george

IF YOU THINK YOU KNOW GEORGE WASHINGTON, THINK AGAIN.

This is the amazing true story of a real-life superhero who wore no cape and possessed no special powers—yet changed the world forever. It’s a story about a man whose life reads as if it were torn from the pages of an action novel: Bullet holes through his clothing. Horses shot out from under him. Unimaginable hardship. Disease. Heroism. Spies and double-agents. And, of course, the unmistakable hand of Divine Providence that guided it all.

Being George Washington is a whole new way to look at history. You won’t simply read about the awful winter spent at Valley Forge—you’ll live it right alongside Washington. You’ll be on the boat with him crossing the Delaware, in the trenches with him at Yorktown, and standing next to him at the Constitutional Convention as a new republic is finally born.

Through these stories you’ll not only learn our real history (and how it applies to today), you’ll also see how the media and others have distorted our view of it. It’s ironic that the best-known fact about George Washington—that he chopped down a cherry tree—is a complete lie. It’s even more ironic when you consider that a lie was thought necessary to prove he could not tell one.

For all of his heroism and triumphs, Washington’s single greatest accomplishment was the man he created in the process: courageous and principled, fair and just, respectful to all. But he was also something else: flawed.

It’s those flaws that should give us hope for today. After all, if Washington had been perfect, then there would be no way to build another one. That’s why this book is not just about being George Washington in 1776, it’s about the struggle to be him every single day of our lives. Understanding the way he turned himself from an uneducated farmer into the Indispensable (yet imperfect) Man, is the only way to build a new generation of George Washington’s that can take on the extraordinary challenges that America is once again facing.

Seeds of Success

By: Bill and Billy Moyer (Father and Son)

Publication Date: 2008

seeds

This book serves as a wake up call for men and women of all ages and occupations by helping them balance their lives and realize what matters most. Will you choose success or significance? "Take a look in mirror, and redefine what matters most."–Patrick Morley

How to Think Like Leonardo da Vinci: Seven Steps to Genius Every Day

By: Michael J. Gelb

Publication Date: February 8, 2000

61VFyErepDL__SL500_SS225_

Genius is made, not born. And human beings are gifted with an almost unlimited potential for learning and creativity. Now you can uncover your own hidden abilities, sharpen your senses, and liberate your unique intelligence—by following the example of the greatest genius of all time, Leonardo da Vinci.
Acclaimed author Michael J. Gelb, who has helped thousands of people expand their minds to accomplish more than they ever thought possible, shows you how. Drawing on Da Vinci’s notebooks, inventions, and legendary works of art, Gelb introduces Seven Da Vinci an Principles—the essential elements of genius—from curiosity, the insatiably curious approach to life to concessioner, the appreciation for the interconnectedness of all things. With Da Vinci as your inspiration, you will discover an exhilarating new way of thinking. And step-by-step, through exercises and provocative lessons, you will harness the power—and awesome wonder—of your own genius, mastering such life-changing abilities as:
•Problem solving
•Creative thinking
•Self-expression
•Enjoying the world around you
•Goal setting and life balance
•Harmonizing body and mind
Drawing on Da Vinci’s notebooks, inventions, and legendary works of art, acclaimed author Michael J. Gelb, introduces seven Da Vinci an principles, the essential elements of genius, from curiosity, the insatiably curious approach to life, to concessioner, the appreciation for the interconnectedness of all things. With Da Vinci as their inspiration, readers will discover an exhilarating new way of thinking.
Step-by-step, through exercises and provocative lessons, anyone can harness the power and awesome wonder of their own genius, mastering such life-changing skills as problem solving, creative thinking, self-expression, goal setting and life balance, and harmonizing body and mind.

Please let me know of other books you feel would be good reads for all. Post them here for all to see.

God Bless

Paul Sposite

 

Guided Insight Life Coach

Enhanced by Zemanta
 

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