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Life Coach; What is it


life-coaching2What Is Life Coaching?

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler."

–Henry David Thoreau  

Life Coaching is a profession that is profoundly different from consulting, mentoring, advice, therapy, or counseling. The coaching process addresses specific personal projects, business successes, general conditions and transitions in the client’s personal life, relationships or profession by examining what is going on right now, discovering what your obstacles or challenges might be, and choosing a course of action to make your life be what you want it to be.

How Does Life Coaching Work?

The Life Coaching Format:

  • Complimentary Coaching Consultation
  • 60 to 90 minute "Discovery" first session
  • One 30 to 90 minute phone call per week
  • Unlimited Email support
  • Occasional brief check-in calls

Life Coaching is a designed alliance between coach and client where the coaching relationship continually gives all the power back to you, the client. We believe that you know the answers to every question or challenge you may have in your life, even if those answers appear to be obscured, concealed or hidden inside.

Our skills are about knowing the right questions to ask and having the right tools and techniques to empower you to find those answers within yourself.

You, the client, are the only expert in your entire life who truly knows who you are and what you need. You are the only expert who can recognize what is absolutely best for you. We are simply experts in the coaching process. As your coach, we help you discover what your own personal "best" might be.

Every day we make choices to do or not do many things. These choices may range from profound to trivial and each one has an effect that makes our lives more fulfilling or less fulfilling, more balanced or less balanced, that make our process of living more effective or less effective. Life coaching helps you learn how to make choices that create an effective, balanced and fulfilling life.

We help you connect your head and your heart in a way that transforms your passion for your dreams into action for your life.

We are highly trained as generalists and can coach superbly on any aspect of life. However, we may choose to specialize in one or more of the following areas :

  • Relationships and Intimacy
  • Stress Management and Balance
  • Spirituality and Personal Growth
  • Entrepreneurial and Small Business Development
  • Career Planning and Development
  • Motivation and Time Management
  • Creativity for Artists, Writers, Musicians and Performers
  • Finances and Budgeting
  • Health, Aging, Lifestyle and Self-Care
  • Family and Parenting
  • And much more

    An interesting article on Coaching ( Top 10 professional life coaching myths)

    why it works

    Unlike other forms of self-help or therapy, life coaching offers a new look on basic human needs. Partnership, support and know-how are areas that distinguish life coaching from other therapies.

    Partnership

    Tiger Woods, at the top of his game, still works on improving his skills. For this, he relies on his coach to make sure he still has the edge. A similar bond exists between the life coach and the client.

    Support

    Individuals are better able to make big decisions when they have the support of friends, family, peers, or a life coach. With a life coach a client is more comfortable taking bigger strides to getting the job done and making the appropriate changes toward a better life.

    Know-how

    It’s always best to pick a coach that has walked a similar line in life as you have. The coach will know how to help the client achieve his goal — whether it is to make more money or simply to make better decisions.

    life coach vs. therapist

    Life coaching and therapy are both based on support, trust and complete confidentiality. They also make equal use of listening skills and non-judgmental attitudes toward the client.
    Some say that therapy deals with the past and handling emotional pain; whereas, coaching deals more with the near future and devising action plans toward a specific goal.
    You can’t move toward the future without turning the page on the past. Attaining a life coach is recommended after unresolved matters are settled. Coaching may not be what you need if you have unresolved issues of the past. On the same token, if you need coaching you don’t need to get therapy first.
    A therapist often seeks insight and understanding of a person’s psyche rather than focusing on strategies and life plans. Coaches are not perceived as experts — they are more or less a person with knowledge and skill, which they use to help clients achieve their goals. Coaches encourage and support the client while giving valuable advice to achieve specific life goals.
    The major difference between a life coach and a therapist is the relationship between the client and the coach. The synergy between the two goes beyond what standard therapy offers. The sessions are not confined to the usual meeting rooms — more and more people contact their coach by phone, e-mail or even meet for a quick drink.

     

    Need a life coach?

    Only you will know if you really need a life coach or not. The following list of questions may help you decide:

    • Do you often feel overwhelmed from the daily tasks at hand?
    • Do you feel like you’re living life unconsciously?
    • Do you suffer from low self-esteem?
    • Do you feel like everyone seems to have a master plan but you?
    • Is there a lack of support in your life?
    • Do you feel like the whole world is out to get you?
    • Are you going through difficult times in life and need a helping hand?
    • Do you have deadlines you just can’t deal with and don’t know how to cope?

    Answering yes to any of the above questions doesn’t necessarily mean you need therapy, but might suggest that you could benefit from some life coaching.

     

    Is coaching right for you?

    Before you frantically flip through the phone book for some help, step back and ask what exactly you wish to accomplish with a coach. Once you establish this, a life coach can strategize a winning plan to help you attain your goals.

    Life coaching may not be the best option for you if you have a hard time digesting constructive criticism or you just don’t think you can devote the time and energy to make a change for the better. Due to the partnership approach of coaching, it is vital that the client be open and willing to the experience.

    Read more:
    http://www.askmen.com/money/body_and_mind_100/141b_better_living.html#ixzz2W0J8tFxe

     

    Interested in bettering your life, want to grow personally and professionally, but find it hard to get motivated? Then maybe a Life Coach is what you are looking for, a Life Coach can help you stay on track, define your goals and help you achieve your dreams. Why not make a call that can change your life, to find out more, visit
    http://guidedinsight.wix.com/guidedinsight
    and set up your free session.

    God Bless

    Paul Sposite

    Guided Insight Life Coach

     

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    Holistic Health


    I believe in natural remedies and try to use them when ever I can, luckily I have a holistic doctor I trust with my life. Dr. Kim has been able to get me off of all my prescription and on to natural supplements  and I have never felt better, except one thing that never seemed to go away, my constant feel of no energy  I was tired from the time awoke until the time I went to bed, nothing the doctors (Dr. Kim and my MD) did seemed to help, until I discovered ASEA, a water supplement that has changed everything.

    What is ASEA

    It’s not just natural. It’s native.

    ASEA is trillions of stable, perfectly balanced Redox Signaling Molecules suspended in a pristine saline solution—the same molecules that exist in the cells of the human body.

    Redox Signaling is a function that is central to all life on the planet. Redox Signaling molecules are created within every cell of the body and are vital to the immune system and to cellular healing mechanisms. They are so essential to life that without them, you would die within seconds. A proper supply of Redox Signaling molecules enables cellular healing: damaged, dysfunctional cells fading away and healthy, vibrant cells taking over.

    Redox Signaling molecules are vital for the health of your cells; that’s why your body makes its own supply. But after the age of 12, our cells make fewer and fewer of these molecules. ASEA is the world’s only source for replenishing Redox Signaling molecules.


    http://paulsposite.teamasea.com/src/enterprise/images/5IJKUEGSATFRNARGVGYRVJEHTICSKHQJDFSGABBBCJLYLNRIHOI881.jpg

    I have taken ASEA for about one week now, and truth be told, I felt it taking effect from day one, my energy levels have never been higher. But it is not like a caffeine buzz, no energy drink high than crash, just a nice, natural energy flow… I can’t explain it, and I wont try, but I will tell you, You Need To Try ASEA For Yourself and See! 

    Check out my website:
    http://paulsposite.teamasea.com/Default.aspx
    and find out more….

    ASEA web

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    The Sound of Electronic Silence


    Hello darkness, my old friend
    I’ve come to talk with you again
    Because a vision softly creeping
    Left its seeds while I was sleeping
    And the vision that was planted in my brain
    Still remains
    Within the sound of silence

    Sounds Of Silence By: Simon & Garfunkel

    The song has an quality to it that makes it seem kind of dark, almost eerie feeling. Some would consider it a depressing song, a song with no hope. But I hear it differently, I hear it as a song of inner peace, a song searching for the meaning of self, the meaning of life, to me it is a song of becoming.

    In todays world of connectedness, Wi-Fi and smart phones, we are never to far from being connected to someone or something. In fact we are frightened of being non-connected, of being off the grid as it were. Silence is the “monster under the bed” of many, they fear it, but have no rational reason to do so.

    Recently I took a vacation to Koln Germany, I brought my iPad and smart phone, the iPad for reading and checking up on my home via Facebook and the smart phone, just incase I needed to call home. The phone was on, but never used, in-fact a few times it lost its charge, the iPad, well it was on daily, to read the news of the day and to check in on the doings of the two young lads who were watching over my home and pets, and to read. My postings to my Twitter (@paulsposite) and Facebook were at a stand still, and my blogging was put on the back burner. The sound of silence was welcomed, and was filled with real conversations with real people.

    Wait, how can I say that, how can the silence be filled with conversation? What do I mean? What the hell am I talking about?

    Silence comes in many different flavors, there is, of course, the traditional silence, no sound at all, just the nothingness that surrounds you. This silence is very useful, allowing you to become fully aware of yourself and your surroundings. I have talked about this kind of silence before, the need for it in our lives, even if its just 15 minutes per day, a time to reset and replenish your energy. I have spoken about how Jesus used this time time of silence to hear His Fathers commands and how we need to do the same. But this is not the silence I am referring to today, today I am referring to the digital silence, the silence of electronics. The need to replace the buzz of phones and instant messaging with the hum of humanity.

    The world we are living in, is a world of connections, we are connected to each other  in ways we have never seen. We have Facebook friends and Twitter alliances, we instant message each other on our way to be with each other and than continue to message others why we are with each other. We are fearful of being disconnected, we are fearful that we will miss out, we are fearful of the silence of technology.

    I love technology, and use it daily, I live on my iPad, I like keeping up with my friends and family and reading the latest news events as they happen, but I also love the down time, the time for me to just sit and be still. When I first got my iPad I was on it every waking hour, posting every  news article I read, and every quote I heard. I felt connected, I felt as if I was contributing to the massive world discussion of politics and current events. I still do post, more than some but less than others, but I have cut back, I have learned lessons and I have become friends with silence once more. Now most nights I post a few things, but for the most part my iPad is closed and away from me. Why the change, why did I give it up, if it was truly something I enjoyed? Simple, the stacks of magazines, books and other stuff that goes unread, the projects that are delayed and the time for silence that is lost. I was replacing all my enjoyment with one thing, the iPad and the net had become my single place of activity. The books I intended to read have collected dust, the magazines I subscribe to have gone unread and in many cases unopened. The projects I have started around the house are 1/2 finished or barley started and all the great plans I have made are just that, plans but no actions.

    Is it the fault of the iPad, Facebook or Twitter, nope, its all mine, I allowed them to fill up the silence, I allowed them to take over and become my anti-silence. There is a time and a place for Facebook and Twitter, the iPad offers me many great opportunities to be silent, I have many great books downloaded that I could be reading, I have the ability to work on some of the projects I have started or want to start, its not the fault of technology, but the fault of my use of it.

    My To-do list is long, but my actions are short. My personal silent time was lacking, but this is changing. My time in Germany, on my vacation, allowed me to once again remember the quality time I had when I had the time for silence. I remembered that the iPad does not own me, but I own it, I remembered that there is an On and Off switch on it, that if it can be turned on, it can also be turned off. I like that… I think it’s a lesson most of us need to learn, that what can be turned on, The TV, the Radio, the Computer or iPad, MP3 player, all it can also be turned off. The book that is closed can be opened, the magazine that sits there can be picked up. The walk you have been talking about can become reality and the quiet evening spent with good friends over a glass of wine can happen with out the smart phones. Life can exist with out being connected, life did before Wi-Fi and it can do so once again.

    We need to re-learn that missing a phone call will not end our life, that not posting our current global position every 15 minutes will not cause the earth to spin off its axis and that our Facebook friends do not really need to know what we are eating or reading or watching every moment of the day. We need to understand that Twitter will still be Twittering with out our little comments and life will go on with or without our input.

    The lesson will be hard, we have become so use to posting and tweeting that it almost seems second nature. But life will go on, technology is not the essence of life, this is a hard, true fact.

    We need to remember that Wi-Fi cannot replace Face to Face, that Facebook is not the same as “Lets do dinner” and that a tweet is not the same as conversations over a glass of beer. Each have there time and purpose, but one cannot, and should not, replace the other. Reading a good book, be it paper or electronic cannot be replaced by reading the tweets of some celebrity you decided to stalk, and video chatting with your loved ones is not the same as dinner and a movie.

    With the Christmas season upon us, maybe we should consider this. Maybe this year when we are buying all our gifts, maybe we could venture out of the electronics department and look in the old fashion game department, you know the ones were you have to sit face to face to play, were you have plastic game pieces and paper money. Or maybe this year when you are planning your Christmas party you could make it a mandatory Electronics Free Zone Party. No Phones, smart or otherwise, no iPads or other Wi-Fi connected devices. Maybe even have a few board games and deck of cards out, maybe you can even communicate directly to each other, you know face to face.. Just a thought….

    Look for the opportunities to become electronic free, look for times you can be “Off the Grid” and enjoy the silence of no electronics in your life. Rediscover live that is Twitter free, learn to live a life of no Facebook, even if its for just a few hours per day, make rules for when the smart phones must become silent, establish a time with all OFF buttons must be in use. It can be done, my friends in Germany, they do something very radical, they turn off the power to there modem when they are done using the computer… They disconnect from the grid, and they survived! We can do it, I know we can, besides the benefit of not being connected to the web, you will also save energy… It’s a big step, and I admit, I am not there yet, but I am thinking about it. If I did do that, if I did turn the power off to my modem, not only would I not be able to surf the web, post my amazing input to Facebook, but I would also not be able to watch TV. My TV is run through my computer, I cut the cord and dished the dish years ago. The lack of internet would also turn my iPad into a very expensive e-reader and my books and magazines would become more accessible.

    Now its true, its not very hard to turn it back on, but the process takes time, I would have to reboot the computer, log in and make sure all the programs are running that need to be running for my TV to work, to the time it takes would be a deterrent to just turning the TV on because I can. Its something to consider.

    Lots to consider…

    God Bless

    Paul Sposite

    Guided Insight Life Coach

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    The Loss of Freedom for our own Good…


    The United States Supreme Court.

    The United States Supreme Court. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

    Yesterday the United States Supreme Court upheld ObamaCare, a massive intrusion into our personal lives and our freedoms. With this ruling, the courts granted congress the power to force Americans into purchasing products that they may or may not want or need. By the courts calling the individual mandate a tax, they have upheld the single largest tax increase in American history, created a bureaucracy that will grow the size of government like we have never seen and granted the IRS unprecedented powers to come after you and your money.

    Every American should be scared, very scared indeed.

    Think I am over reacting? Think again

     

    Shall I go on?

    Are you starting to get it… Once government knows it can get away with one ban, one tax, one forced purchase, it will add more, take away more freedoms, more individual choices, creating a nanny state that feels they know better than you, how you should live your life.

    All Americans should be scared, very scared indeed…

    God Bless

    Paul Sposite

    Guided Insight Life Coach 

     

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    5 Comments

    Posted by on June 29, 2012 in Civil Rights, Politics, Tax

     

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    Road to Redemption: How to Overcome Feeling Sorry for Yourself


    Feeling sorry for yourself, and you present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have.

    -Dale Carnegie

    What can we do about this, how can we change our own outlook on our own life? How do we stop feeling sorry for ourselves, stopping the self-pity and self loathing?  What can we do to save ourselves from ourselves?

    Some points to consider:

    • Only you can make you feel bad
    • Only you are in control of you
    • Only you can fix you
    • Only you can do it

    We are in control of our own lives, this is a basic and true fact, nothing can change this basic fact. However, being human, being of a fallen nature, we are prone to failure, we are prone to self-doubt we are prone to self-destruction. So how do we change this, how do we get past our fallen human nature? What can we do to become a better person, a person of confidence a person of integrity and person of character?

    We can teach ourselves to over come our fallen nature, we can grow above and beyond that, it is achievable, it is with-in our grasps, all we need to do is trust, trust in God, trust that He will provides the graces we need to archive our perfection.

    Trust in God does not mean we sit back and do nothing, quit the contrary, trust in God means we buckle down, place our nose to the grind stone, work our fingers to the bones, what ever cleaver little saying you choose. Trust is God is not the easy road, but it is the road less traveled. It is the road to perfection and happiness, it is the road to freedom and salvation, it is the only road to our own personal redemption.

    God is our ticket to liberation, liberation from self-doubt, liberation from self-hatred, the two self-defeating attitudes that create the conditions necessary for self-loathing and just plain old feeling sorry for yourself. God and His graces, His love for you and all your imperfections, our ability to accept His love, to use His graces, that’s the way to freedom, the road to liberation.

    Sounds easy, who would not want Gods love, who does not want the graces God bestows upon us? Ask almost anyone, and they would tell you, Yep, I want Gods love, I want His grace, not many would out-and-out refuse it. Some do, but most would be more than happy to accept the freely given gifts. So why that do we have so much pain and suffering, why do we have so many people who are full of self-pity and self-hatred?

    Because the gifts and love are given freely, but we must be open to and willing to accept them, and simply saying yes, simply using words, dead words, is not enough. Action is required, God wants us to fully participate in His divine plan for ourselves, He wants us to be active, not just a vessel to poor His love and graces into, but an active participant in His love and grace.

    What good are gifts, given freely, if we do not use them, what good is love, given unconditionally, if we do not accept it? A gift is only as useful as it is used, otherwise the gift is of no value. We can receive Gods love all daylong, but if we do not open ourselves to this love, if we do not partake in this love, the love is of no value to us. Yes God continues to love us, regardless of our acceptance or not, but the love goes unused, it is not returned nor is it give to others. The love of God is not meant to be buried like a secret love, but to be received and displayed for all to see, and to be given to others as freely as it was given to us.

    The act of receiving is not a passive act, it is an act that requires us to participate fully. Consider this, have you ever given a gift to a friend or loved one, a gift that you gave out of no obligation, no requirement, no special occasion. You gave the gift just out of love, given freely, expecting nothing in return. But the recipient was not receptive to your gift, they may have accepted it, they may have even opened it, but they were not receptive. They showed no sign of joy in the act of love, they showed no sign of rejection, they just accepted it. We, the gift bearer, leave feeling rejected, feel that our love was neither accepted nor outright rejected. We think to ourselves, I would rather have them say I reject your gift, I do not want it, than to just accept it with no emotion at all. The act of receiving is active, it requires work on the part of the receiver. It is the same with Gods gifts to us, He freely offers His gifts, He will not force them upon us, we must freely accept them, and just saying yes is like the friend that opened the gift you offered with no emotion, no reaction, just nothingness. The gift, although given was not truly accepted, it was discarded, not with words, but the lack of action.

    So what actions, what is required of us, nothing, we are not required to accept Gods graces nor Gods love, just like we are not required to accept gifts on our birthday or at Christmas. We can choose freely to participate in Gods love, just as we choose freely to accept Christmas gifts and attend birthday parties. But once we choose to attend, action is required, input and output are part of the interaction of any social gathering, so is the case with God, He provides the input, and we provide the output. He gives us, freely, His love, the input, and we actively, through our works, provide the output. Notice, God gives freely, and we work actively, it is through the active works we perfect the graces and love of God is fully realized.

    So how can God help us get over our self-hate, our feeling sorry for ourselves. What must we do to actively participate in Gods graces and love given freely. How do we perform the work to  fully realize the gifts God has given. For each of us God has given the gifts that we need, the gifts that are unique to us, so for each of us the works are also unique, but here is a list of a few things all of us can do to help us realize the full potential of our gifts.

    • Pray daily, offer up 30 to 60 minuets per day to God, talk to Him, but more importantly, listen, be still, be quiet, and listen to the loving voice of God. And do not worry if you don’t hear Him  the first time or every time you pray, like everything else in our lives, it take practice. So just pray, daily and know and accept that some days will be better than others.
    • Read daily, anyone who has read my blog before knew that this would be one of the point, it almost always is. But reading is important, reading opens our minds to new possibilities. Read the bible, read a good solid spiritual book or read a novel, just read and let your mind go, let your mind enter into the story or passage. Let the author take you along for the ride. Read at least 15 minutes per day. God often times speaks to me through the books I choose to read that day, the passage I decide to look up or the magazine I choose out of the stack on my coffee table. God uses the everyday items about us to communicate to us, God comes to the place we are, He does not wait for us to arrive at the place He desires us to be.
    • Journal daily, write about your day, write about what you see about you, write about your prayer life, write about what ever you choose to write about. This blog is my journal, it allows me the opportunity to clear my mind, to put down on paper (well in this case, electronic paper) what is on my mind, allows me the opportunity to clear it, to visualize it. God uses these opportunities to speak to us, often times I just sit to write, no idea what I want to write about, just feel the need to clear my mind. It is in these moments that I feel God guiding me more that any other. So journal daily, allow the Holy Spirit to guide your hand across the paper, or in my case the keyboard. Use your time journaling as a time of communion with God.
    • Learn daily, learn about your faith, learn about your life, learn about your country learn about wine or basket weaving, just learn, never stop learning. God created our minds to grow, to learn to expand. In the process of learning, we are using one of Gods greatest gifts to us, the gift of knowledge. So learn something new daily, try something new daily. I try to make it a point to learn something new daily, be it a simple fact or a complex idea. Learning about this world, our self, our nation or about basket weaving is learning about God, for through the ordinary we find God.
    • Think one positive thought daily, when you are in the mist of a bad day, stop yourself, and think about one positive event that took place that day. There is always one, no day is completely bad. Even Good Friday, the day our Lord was killed upon a cross had a positive moment, the moment He offered His life for our sins. So stop and think, seek out the shinning spot among the darkness of your day. It is in the moment, that spot that God will be found.
    • Thank someone daily, always give thanks to all around you, but find someone who needs your thanks more than any other, we find God in our fellow-man, and they find God in us, give freely of your Gift of love from God, by returning to others.

    Our works do not purchase Gods love nor are the required, God gives it freely, but our works bring the fullness of Gods love to light. Through Gods love we will learn to love the self, and only through our works will we fully realize that self-love.

     

    God Bless

     

    Paul W Sposite

    Guided Insight Life Coach

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    Destructive Thinking


    I thought I would share another found article….

    ——START—–

    post written by: Marc

    10 Destructive Faults in Our Way of Thinking

    Image(3)

    The human mind is wonderful and powerful, but it’s far from perfect.  There are several common judgment errors that it’s prone to making.  In the field of Psychology these are known as cognitive biases, or fallacies in reasoning.  They happen to everyone regardless of age, sex, education or intelligence.

    Over the past few months I’ve become fascinated by these biases and fallacies, so I’ve readImage several books about them.  Today I want to share ten of them with you.  They are the ones I repeatedly notice myself and those closest to me struggling with.  My hope is that you will use the information in this article to pinpoint these destructive patterns in your own thinking, and break free from them before they send you spiraling down the wrong path.

    1. Negative self-fulfilling prophecies. – A self-fulfilling prophecy is a prediction that motivates a person to take actions that cause the prediction to come true.  This kind of thinking often tears relationships apart and causes people to fail at their goals.  Here are two typical examples:  1.) A man believes that his relationship with his new girlfriend is “never going to last.”  So he stops putting effort into the relationship, pulls away emotionally, and a month later the relationship fails.  2.) An intelligent undergraduate in the field of health convinces herself that she “doesn’t have what it takes” to become a doctor, so she therefore never completes the prerequisites for medical school, and thus never becomes a doctor.
    2. Only taking credit for positive outcomes. – This destructive thinking pattern occurs when we take full credit for our successes, but deny responsibility for our failures.  A perfect example of this can be witnessed in school classrooms across the globe.  When students receive a good grade, they often attribute it to their intelligence and their excellent study habits.  But when they get a bad grade, they attribute some of their failure to a bad teacher, an unfair set of test questions, or a subject matter that “isn’t needed in the real world anyway.”  The bottom line is that in order for a person to grow emotionally, they must be willing to take full responsibility for all of their actions and outcomes – successes and failures alike.
    3. Believing we are immune to temptation. – We have far less control over our impulsive desires than we often believe.  Sex, food, and drug addictions are extreme examples of this.  Many addicts believe they can quit anytime they want, but in reality they are simply lying to themselves.  But you don’t have to be an addict to be vulnerable to temptation.  Lots of smart people end up impulsively giving in to temptation simply because it’s the easiest way to get rid of it.  It sounds ridiculous, but it’s true.  If someone wants to get rid of sexual desire, the easiest way is to have sex.  If someone wants to get rid of hunger pain, the easiest way is to eat.  Restraining from impulsive behavior in the face of temptation is not easy; it takes a great deal of self-control.  So be careful, because when we have an inflated sense of control over our impulses, we tend to overexpose ourselves to temptation, which in turn promotes the impulsive behavior we want to avoid.
    4. Passing a broad judgment from an isolated incident. – An inaccurate first impression is a decent example of this one.  It’s about our natural human tendency to evaluate a person or situation from a bird’s eye view, and then presume to know enough to pass a reasonable judgment.  This happens a lot in the corporate working world.  A newer employee might show up late to work after experiencing legitimate car trouble, but their boss immediately becomes suspicious that they are not committed and responsible, and treats them as such for several weeks thereafter.  The obvious solution here is to look at the big picture before you start pointing fingers or making assumptions.
    5. Believing we can control the uncontrollable. – This thinking fallacy occurs when people begin to believe that they have some kind of direct influence or power over an external event that is completely random.  It is especially evident in the minds of amateur gamblers; especially those who have had a recent string of good luck.  For example, if you flipped a coin and asked someone to guess heads or tails, and they got it right ten times in a row, they might begin to believe that their good luck is confirmation that they have control over the outcome of each flip.  But the truth is that there is always a 50% probability of their answer being correct, and their last ten guesses were pure luck.
    6. Ignoring information that does not support a belief. – Psychologists commonly refer to this as the confirmation bias.  We as human beings naturally tend to look for information that confirms and supports our beliefs, and we tend to overlook information that does not.  We are selective in the evidence we choose to collect so that we don’t have to challenge our way of thinking, because it’s easier not to.  This destructive thinking trap is very common, and it can have detrimental effects on our productivity when we make big decisions based on false information.
    7. Beginner’s optimism. – Beginner’s optimism is the human tendency to underestimate the time required to complete an unfamiliar task.  It occurs due to a lack of planning and research on behalf of someone who is excited about doing something they have never done before.  In other words, when we get assigned a new task that we are anxious to get started on, instead of delaying the start time to accurately evaluate the level of difficulty and resources required, we simply guess and begin.  Thus, our expectation of the workload is based on raw optimism instead past experience and reliable data.  And it all backfires on us a little later when we find ourselves knee deep in work we were unprepared for.
    8. Rebelling simply to prove personal freedom. – Although more common in children, this thinking fallacy can affect people of any age.  It’s basically a person’s urge to do something they have been told not to do, for fear that their freedom of choice is being taken away from them.  This person may not even want to do whatever they are doing to rebel; however, the simple fact that they are not supposed to do it motivates them to do so anyway.  The tactic of reverse psychology is a commonly used method of exploiting this thinking fallacy in others.
    9. Judging a person’s capabilities based solely on the way they look. – This happens thousands of times a day worldwide when one person assumes something about another person based on their immediate appearance.  For example, someone might see a tall, well groomed man in his early fifties, wearing a business suit, and instantly assume he is successful and reliable, even though there is zero concrete evidence to support this assumption.  Bottom line:  You can’t judge a book by its cover.
    10. Trying to diminish losses by continuing to pursue a previous failure. – Sometimes called the sunk cost fallacy, this is a thinking fault that motivates us to continue to support a previously unsuccessful endeavor.  We justify our decision to continue investing in this failed endeavor based on our cumulative prior investment, despite new evidence suggesting that the cost, starting today, of continuing to pursue it outweighs the expected benefit.  The logical thing to do would be for us to cut our losses and change our course of action.  However, due to the sunk costs we have already invested, we feel committed to the endeavor, so we invest even more time, money and energy into it, hoping that our additional investment will reverse the outcome.  But it never will.

    If you can relate to some of these destructive thinking faults, and you’re interested in learning more about them, give these books a read.  All three are equally incredible:

    Photo by: Pejman Parvandi

    ——END——

    I hope you found this article helpful…

    God Bless

    Paul Sposite

    Guided Insight Life Coach 

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    Habit Change


    I thought I would share an article with you that I found on the web. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did

    ——-START——-

    Secrets to habit change

    by Meg Selig

    Succeed at Habit Change With This One-Page "Book!"

    8 "chapters," 19 quotes, 1 page, and you’ve changed.

    Published on May 2, 2012 by Meg Selig in Changepower

    Image

    Most people don’t change a habit with a snap of their fingers. Oh, you’ve noticed that? So have many psychologists. In fact, some psychologists, notably James Prochaska, Carlo DiClemente, and John Norcross, have done extensive research showing that most people change their habits step by step, in predictable stages, over time. The “quick-change artist” is the exception, not the rule.

    Using the stages-of-change idea (and taking a little poetic license with it), I’ve created a one-page "book" of successful habit change below. Whether you have a health goal, a relationship goal, or a work goal, this one-pager will help. Each “chapter” contains a few pithy quotes that will help propel you from stage to stage and finally to a successful resolution of your habit change challenge. Use these quotes for inspiration, wisdom, and humor as you reach for a healthier body, a calmer mind, or a happier life.


    Preface: You are not aware that anything is wrong with your harmful habit. True, there was that one time…but you’d rather not think about that.  Your habit and you are a happy couple.

    “I can resist everything but temptation.”  ~ Oscar Wilde

    “How often it is that the angry man rages denial of what his inner self is telling him.” ~ Frank Herbert

    Chapter 1:  As a result of your habit, you get a figurative or literal kick in the backside. You think about changing.

    “We must embrace pain and welcome it as fuel for our journey.”  ~ Kenji Miyazawa

    “A man too busy to take care of his health is like a mechanic too busy to take care of his tools.”  ~ Spanish proverb

    Chapter 2: You get a Big Idea. This inspiration could fuel the change you want to see in yourself! This is your personal motivator!

    “There is nothing more powerful than an idea whose time has come.” ~ Victor Hugo

    “We generally change ourselves for one of two reasons: inspiration or desperation.” ~  Jim Rohn

    Chapter 3: You make the decision to change.

    “(Y)ou only need one decisive act of free will to transform the course of your own life.” ~ Jill Ker Conway

    “You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage — pleasantly, smilingly, nonapologetically — to say ‘no’ to other things. And the way to do that is by having a bigger ‘yes’ burning inside.”   ~Stephen Covey

    Chapter 4: You make a simple plan or choose a program to guide you as you change.  

    “A goal without a plan is just a wish.” ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

    "He who has a why can endure any how."  ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

    Chapter 5: You begin your change.

    “To be in hell is to drift, to be in heaven is to steer.”  ~ George Bernard Shaw

    “Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action.”  ~ William James

    Chapter 6: You stumble. You lapse into your old ways. You try again. You alter your plan. You find better support. You fall again. You get up again. You keep going.

    "He who never makes mistakes never makes anything." ~ English proverb

    “To be enlightened is to be without anxiety over imperfection.”  ~ Buddhist saying

    “Courage is not the absence of despair; it is, rather, the courage to move ahead despite despair.”     ~ Rollo May

    Image(1)

    Chapter 7: Time passes. You hang in there, working on your goal. It’s getting easier. Slowly a new habit, a better habit, takes shape.

    “Discipline is remembering what you want.”  ~ David Campbell

    "Energy and persistence conquer all things." ~ Benjamin Franklin

    Chapter 8: Your new way of life has become second nature. You’ve improved your life, your health, or your relationships, probably all three. You did it!

    “He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still.” ~ Lao-tse

    “I am, indeed, a king, because I know how to rule myself.” ~ Pietro Aretino

    Do you have a quote that has inspired you as you changed your life in some way? Share it in comments!


    (c)  Meg Selig, 2012

    I am the author of Changepower! 37 Secrets to Habit Change Success (Routledge, 2009), the 232-page version of the one-page book above. For more nuggets on topics of habit change, willpower, and healthy living that are even shorter (!) than the one-page "book," like me on Facebook, and/or follow me on Twitter.

    Podcast alert!  I am honored to be the guest on Dr.Tim Pychyl’s latest podcast.You can find the podcast at
    http://iprocrastinate.libsyn.com/webpage/changepower
    , or you can subscribe to the iProcrastinate podcast on iTunes.  Dr. Pychyl, a fellow PT blogger, is a procrastination expert and interviewer extraordinaire.

    Image(2)

    Meg Selig is the author of Changepower! 37 Secrets to Habit Change Success.

    ——–END——-

    God Bless

    Paul Sposite

    Guided Insight Life Coach

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    Frustration, and dealing with it


    frustration

    Definition

    frus·tra·tion

    NOUN

    1. dissatisfaction: a feeling of disappointment, exasperation, or weariness caused by goals being thwarted or desires unsatisfied

    2. frustrating of somebody or something: an act or instance of causing somebody or something to be dissatisfied or unfulfilled

    3. something that thwarts: something that blocks, thwarts, and upsets somebody all at the same time

    “His lack of ambition was a frustration to his father.”

    The feeling of frustration has come upon me, and has decided to stay for bit. This feeling has sat around for the past few weeks, not wanting to go anyplace at all. It it happy just sitting upon me and making me deal with it, and I , for one, am not to happy about it. In fact, its frustrating!

    Trying to deal with work, defined as a place you go to daily, bang your head on the wall and return home. At least that has been the norm as of late. Dealing with the customer can be frustrating enough, but when your own company is placing road blocks in your way as well, well that just tips it over the top. Has hard as I try, it is hard to not take it home with me, causing me to be exhausted when I get home, and that hurts my personal life. I have not had the energy to workout, do the house work that needs to be done and as of late, even reading is a takes to me, not an enjoyment. That’s when I know it’s getting to me, reading is what I do, who I am, and when that takes a back seat, that’s when I know I need to do something. But what? What can I do about it? Were do I even start?

    Here is my action plan, and a plan that you can use to help fight your frustrations

    1. Keep the Body active: exercise daily for at least 30 minutes. Walk the dog, go to the gym, ride a bike. Just do something, even when you just don’t feel like it, in fact that when you should do it, when you don’t feel like it, because that’s when you need it the most.
    2. Keep the Body healthy: eat right, if your like me, junk food fills the void, I tend to eat candy when I am frustrated, and this is a bad thing for several reason, the weight gain, the sugar buzz, and the over all feeling yucky after the binge. Avoid the bad and seek out the good. But do not deprive yourself the craving, eat one candy bar, not 20. Give your body what it craves, to satisfy it, try to find an alternative to the candy bar, see if an apple dipped in honey will work, or peanut butter and celery will satisfy.
    3. Keep the Soul healthy: Attend Church, meditate, commune with God, do something that will keep your soul active. Like any other part of you, you must exercise your soul, keep it active. So find activities that builds up your soul. The soul is a part of your well-being, a healthy and active soul is directly related to a healthy and active you.
    4. Keep the Mind active: Read, do cross words, go to an art museum, do something, anything, daily, to activate your mind, to fire a few new neurons make a few new connections and build a new memory. Spending 15 minutes each day reading and reflecting is a prescription for a healthy and active mind. We are made to learn to grow and to experience life with all our senses. Learn to stretch yourself, reach outside of your comfort zone and exercise your mind. If you normally read romance novels, pick up a historical novel or if you read only religious books, try a political book, force your mind to rethink its thinking. Its good exercise and a practice that will make you a more rounded individual. We have lost the “Renaissance Man” and its time to get him back.
    5. Keep your heart active: I’m not talking about working out again, that’s point number 1, nope this time I am talking about the poetic heart. Find something to love, a passion, be it a person, a pet or a cause, find your passion and pursue it. Now I’m not talking about stalking the girl down the block, I’m talking about passion. We are all created to be connected with others, be it in a social or personal manner. We need others to feel content, so we seek them out. Some find them at church or by joining clubs or volunteering at the local soup kitchen. Some find contentment in their children others in their spouse or significant others. Were ever it is, put your passion into it, reconnect to that passion, or discover new passions and pursue it with gusto, give it all you got.

    The above 5 activates are activities we should be doing regardless of our frustration level. but it’s often helpful to be reminded of them when we are frustrated. I know that for me, just the act of writing tem has reminded me that I need to work on all five activities, that I have allowed them to sit in the back ground, but now I need to bring them to the forefront and concentrate on them and actively pursue them. The activities should not be grouped together, reading why you workout does not count as two activities. Don’t try to short change yourself, each activity must be given your full and undivided attention. It’s like buying a TV DVD combo, sure you save a little space, and maybe even a little money, but if the TV breaks, now your out both a DVD player and a TV. Separate is better…

    Something to ponder….

    Ecclesiastes 7:2-4 (NIV)

    2 It is better to go to a house of mourning
    than to go to a house of feasting,
    for death is the destiny of everyone;
    the living should take this to heart.
    3 Frustration is better than laughter,
    because a sad face is good for the heart.
    4 The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning,
    but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure.

    “A sad face is good for the heart” hmmm, not sure about that, but I know that sometimes a little rain on one’s life must fall, and frustration is just that, a little rain. The sun will come out again, and if I took care of myself during the time of frustration, than when the sun comes, I will be wiser and healthier that before the rain fell upon my life.

    God Bless & Happy Lent

    Guided Insight Life Coach

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    10 Simple rules for life, with complex results


    sfondo-acqua-relax-1024x768

    Out lives are often times disordered and chaotic. With all the driving, planning, parenting and working, we often times forget to care for ourselves, and the result is we  find ourselves burnt out and unable to do, or at-least do well, all the driving, planning, parenting and working we are required to do. The truth is, there are simple things we can do, each and everyday that will help to make order in our lives, re-focus out energy and allow us to do all the driving, planning, parenting and working we need to do.

    tem simple rules, that in the end have very complex and dramatic results. Each rule is something we can do throughout the day to help us center ourselves and bring a calming to our souls.

    So here we go:

    1. Smile, a smile can change not only our outlook on life, but also the lives of the ones who received your smile
    2. Laugh, it has been said that laughter is the cure… and it is, learn to laugh at yourself, find the humor in the everyday
    3. Pray, start the morning off with prayer, setting yourself into a humble existence
    4. Listen, nothing makes someone feel wanted and loved like listening to them with intent
    5. Relax, not only will you feel better, but so will all who are around you
    6. De-clutter, clutter on your desk, in your car or at home will cause you to stress (read number 5)
    7. Breath, learn to take breathers throughout the day, little 5 minutes breaks will do wonders for you
    8. Dream, A dream i s like an escape, dream of your perfect vacation or perfect date, let yourself go to that space and revel in it
    9. Read, read about someone you admire or read positive thoughts or uplifting verses
    10. Create, creation is paramount to our existence, God created us in His image, there for we are created to create

    The above 10 items are just starting points, use them, nurture them and grow them. I know that they will change your life and your outlook and the added side effect, it will also change the lives and outlooks of all you come in contact with. Simple rules, complex results, can’t ask for much more.

    God Bless

    Paul

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