Tag Archives: decision

These are my thoughts… (a post from my friend)

A fantastic post by a good friend…..


These are my thoughts…

…shared mostly so you can understand where I am coming from, even if you disagree with me.

It is 11:47 pm right now and I should be sleeping. I should be sleeping but I am unable to. One hour ago, it appeared that the current president was going to win his bid for re-election. One hour ago, I walked into our family room and asked my husband to come join me in our room and hold me until I fell asleep. He fell asleep firs…(typical) :) I asked him to come hold me because I am scared. Here is the thing, I know I have a lot of friends who voted for ‘the other guy’ and I know that tonight is a night of celebration for you. I know you will be happy and think that you have reached a level of success. I know you are certain that something better has happened for our country. I know you are confident that you can believe in the change that you are striving for. And finally, I know that you don’t quite know why people like me are so scared. I thought I would let you know why. Because here is the thing, understanding where the ‘other’ is coming from is a good thing. I want to help you understand…. (To Keep reading, select here)


God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

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Posted by on November 7, 2012 in Family, History, Life, Media, Politics, Religon


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Leadership or Anti-Leadership

U.S. Presidential flag, 1960-present (not usua...

U.S. Presidential flag, 1960-present (not usually called a "standard" in official U.S. government terminology). It is defined in Executive Order 10860. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

With the November election upon us, I think it’s a time to talk about leadership, what a leader is and is not. The qualities of a leader and the qualities of an anti-leader. It’s a time to reflect on what makes and what breaks a leader, a time to take an objective look at the office of the presidency and America.

Leadership is not an office, you are not elected to leadership you are elected to the seat of power and trusted into to a leadership role. But like all leadership roles, like anyone who has ever been propelled into leadership knows. the office dose not make a leader, but the leader can make the office. Many a great man has been pushed into fought for and obtained a leadership role, yet failed to live up to the role. History has proven that the roll of leadership is nota role destine for all, it takes a man of a certain cut, a man that knows, by instinct, what leadership is. Yes we can and we do train leaders, we can help to mold leaders, but… Leaders are not trusted nor are they created, they are born.

We read of leaders that seemed to be manifested out of thin air, trusted in to the roll, we read of extraordinary men and woman who seemed to have transformed into a leader with in seconds.But if we look, if we pay attention to there past, we would notice that leadership was always apart of there being, was always there, is small ways, seemingly unimportant ways.

Can a non-leader, and anti-leader truly transform into a leader, can they become the President, the leader of the free world just because they occupy the seat of power? Can a non-leader truly become a leader? Can we trust in them to instinctively know what a leader is, what a leader does? Can a leader ever truly be a non-leader, can they ever disregard the seat of power, abandon the status of the leader of the free world?

This election is an election leadership, who, among the two, is a true leader and who is an anti-leader. Who has the ability to fill the chair of power, who has the ability to lead the free world, what man can truly be the leader we need, the leader that will take America in the direction of prosperity and truly restore American pride?

The office demands more than just looking presidential, it demands leadership. The office commands respect from the nation, but more importantly it demands respect from the one who will sit in the seat of power. A leader respects the office they have been given, they do not, smugly, hold the office, demanding it to respect them. They do not command from the seat of power, they lead from it.

This election the choice is clear, Obama has not respected the seat of power, nor had he respected the people who have placed him that seat. He has disregarded the laws of the land, the the people the law meant to protect. He has walked over the graves of our Founding Fathers and torn up the Constitution of the great land, he has been trusted into a leadership roll he was not and is not meant to occupy, he has made a mockery of the office and the Nation. Obama has turned the presidency into an office of self-serving interest. The nation and her people are after thoughts, his own self-interest are paramount in his decision making. Leaders are selfless, not selfish.

Is Romney better? Is he a true leader? Will he restore Americas pride and power? Will he fill the chair of power, respect it and the American people, will the Constitution once again be the law of the land, will the Founding Fathers regain the respect of the office? In truth, I don’t know, but I do know that Obama must not win again, America cannot stand four more years of his anti-leadership qualities.

This November vote for America, vote for our Founding Fathers, vote to restore the Constitution, vote because American deserves a second chance.

God Bless

Paul Sposite

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Words and Power

Benjamin Franklin

Benjamin Franklin (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Words are powerful things; they have the power to change history, to create revolution and to mend broken hearts. I was reminded of this fact this morning when I gave the following quote to a friend:

There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one’s self.

Benjamin Franklin

The quote is a tab bit hard to understand unless you take the time to see the words as they are. When I first read it, I read it as only two things, stealing a diamond and knowing thy self. I missed the nuance of the punctuation, and of course my mind replace steal for steel. This friend also did the same, but in order to “fix” the problem they wanted to rewrite the quote, or better yet, reorder the words. They wanted

There are three things extremely hard: a diamond, steel, and to know one’s self.

Yes, it makes the reading a bit easier on us, but it is not what Mr. Franklin said, and not how he wanted it stated. For anyone who knows Ben knows that he loved the English language and was a master at it. I do not know for sure, but I would venture to guess that he placed the words exactly as he did for a very specific purpose. Regardless, his words should be represented as he stated them. Words are very powerful indeed, and rearranging them or substituting them can and often does cause issues.

Misunderstandings are often the result of misplaced or missed used words. The Founding Fathers understood this, and knew the power of the written word, the permanence of them and the importance of each word. The Catholic Church is known to spend years debating the simplest of words, knowing that a simple, yet very important distinction are between using one word over another. Nuances in communication is extremely important, politicians know this, this is why they hire speech writers and practice there talking points, a simple slip-up can cause them to lose the election. We often call the gaffes, but what they really are, are moments of truth.

Words, spoken or written have the power to shape our destinies or destroy our past. Historians understand this, they understand how they can write about our Founders, telling the truth, yet leading you to a conclusion that is anything but the truth. The omission of words alters the facts, but leaves behind the basic truth.

We recently saw this in the Trayvon Martian case. The news media played the tape, the call from George Zimmerman, but by omitting one seeming simple line of conversation, the narrative changed. Words have the power to unite or to divide.

It seems to me, that we have lost the art of words; we have simplified them, dumb them down and turned them into meaningless letters. For example, take the word “Fair”, we hear it almost daily, “Fair share” “Fair Play”, as is “All Americans deserve a fair share of the American Dream”. I agree, but I would venture to guess that my understanding of Fair is not the majorities understanding. Most would think of fair as equal, as in, if one person has the dream, to be fair about it, all should have the dream. Not so, fair does not mean equal.

free from bias, dishonesty, or injustice: a fair decision; a fair judge. (Source)

To be fair only means to offer the same,

as great as; the same as (often followed by to or with ): The velocity of sound is not equal to that of light. (Source)

Take your time, read the definitions and you will notice the nuance, the words have meaning…

We need to return to the day when words had meanings, when the power of words were understood and respected. How did we get to this point, I am not sure, I have my own theories, but they are just that, mine. I would place the blame on the dummying down of America, instead of keeping our standards high and expecting people to reach for them, we have lowered the standards, all in the name of fairness, so all can reach them. Our newspapers use to be written at the 9th grade level, now many are written at the 5th grade level, our leaders use to be statesmen, speaking and writing as such, but now they strive to be everydaymen. Our schools use to expect excellence but now promote fairness, is hopes of being inclusive and accepting of all, to offer a fair chance for all to excel, yet most will not.

Our Founders understood something we have seem to have forgotten, they understood that we all deserve a fair chance at success, but we all will not achieve it. They understood that my success is not your success that each person is unique, that success is individual, not communal that fairness does not equate to equal, and that the guarantee of The Pursuit of Happiness is not the same as the guarantee of happiness. Our Founders understood the power of words, and based on them a new nation was born, a revolution declared and lives placed in the balance to defend them.

The United States was and is a Nation based on words, based on the nuances of the words and many a brave man and woman have spilled their blood upon the ground in defense of those words.

So is it really a big deal if someone reorders or replaces a word, to simplify the words, to bring them down to make them more “accessible”, Yes, I think so, I think words have meaning, have power and purpose, and to lower them, to bring them down, even in the name of understanding, is wrong. Instead, we should be striving to raise ourselves up, to strive to understand and to learn. Our Founding Fathers, many of them self-educated, saw the power in them, understood the need for them and knew that this new nation would rise up to them, and defend them or die. Patrick Henry understood:

It is in vain, sir, to extenuate the matter. Gentlemen may cry, Peace, Peace– but there is no peace. The war is actually begun! The next gale that sweeps from the north will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms! Our brethren are already in the field! Why stand we here idle? What is it that gentlemen wish? What would they have? Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death! (Source)

Words have meaning… Words have power… Make your word count…

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

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Destructive Thinking

I thought I would share another found article….


post written by: Marc

10 Destructive Faults in Our Way of Thinking


The human mind is wonderful and powerful, but it’s far from perfect.  There are several common judgment errors that it’s prone to making.  In the field of Psychology these are known as cognitive biases, or fallacies in reasoning.  They happen to everyone regardless of age, sex, education or intelligence.

Over the past few months I’ve become fascinated by these biases and fallacies, so I’ve readImage several books about them.  Today I want to share ten of them with you.  They are the ones I repeatedly notice myself and those closest to me struggling with.  My hope is that you will use the information in this article to pinpoint these destructive patterns in your own thinking, and break free from them before they send you spiraling down the wrong path.

  1. Negative self-fulfilling prophecies. – A self-fulfilling prophecy is a prediction that motivates a person to take actions that cause the prediction to come true.  This kind of thinking often tears relationships apart and causes people to fail at their goals.  Here are two typical examples:  1.) A man believes that his relationship with his new girlfriend is “never going to last.”  So he stops putting effort into the relationship, pulls away emotionally, and a month later the relationship fails.  2.) An intelligent undergraduate in the field of health convinces herself that she “doesn’t have what it takes” to become a doctor, so she therefore never completes the prerequisites for medical school, and thus never becomes a doctor.
  2. Only taking credit for positive outcomes. – This destructive thinking pattern occurs when we take full credit for our successes, but deny responsibility for our failures.  A perfect example of this can be witnessed in school classrooms across the globe.  When students receive a good grade, they often attribute it to their intelligence and their excellent study habits.  But when they get a bad grade, they attribute some of their failure to a bad teacher, an unfair set of test questions, or a subject matter that “isn’t needed in the real world anyway.”  The bottom line is that in order for a person to grow emotionally, they must be willing to take full responsibility for all of their actions and outcomes – successes and failures alike.
  3. Believing we are immune to temptation. – We have far less control over our impulsive desires than we often believe.  Sex, food, and drug addictions are extreme examples of this.  Many addicts believe they can quit anytime they want, but in reality they are simply lying to themselves.  But you don’t have to be an addict to be vulnerable to temptation.  Lots of smart people end up impulsively giving in to temptation simply because it’s the easiest way to get rid of it.  It sounds ridiculous, but it’s true.  If someone wants to get rid of sexual desire, the easiest way is to have sex.  If someone wants to get rid of hunger pain, the easiest way is to eat.  Restraining from impulsive behavior in the face of temptation is not easy; it takes a great deal of self-control.  So be careful, because when we have an inflated sense of control over our impulses, we tend to overexpose ourselves to temptation, which in turn promotes the impulsive behavior we want to avoid.
  4. Passing a broad judgment from an isolated incident. – An inaccurate first impression is a decent example of this one.  It’s about our natural human tendency to evaluate a person or situation from a bird’s eye view, and then presume to know enough to pass a reasonable judgment.  This happens a lot in the corporate working world.  A newer employee might show up late to work after experiencing legitimate car trouble, but their boss immediately becomes suspicious that they are not committed and responsible, and treats them as such for several weeks thereafter.  The obvious solution here is to look at the big picture before you start pointing fingers or making assumptions.
  5. Believing we can control the uncontrollable. – This thinking fallacy occurs when people begin to believe that they have some kind of direct influence or power over an external event that is completely random.  It is especially evident in the minds of amateur gamblers; especially those who have had a recent string of good luck.  For example, if you flipped a coin and asked someone to guess heads or tails, and they got it right ten times in a row, they might begin to believe that their good luck is confirmation that they have control over the outcome of each flip.  But the truth is that there is always a 50% probability of their answer being correct, and their last ten guesses were pure luck.
  6. Ignoring information that does not support a belief. – Psychologists commonly refer to this as the confirmation bias.  We as human beings naturally tend to look for information that confirms and supports our beliefs, and we tend to overlook information that does not.  We are selective in the evidence we choose to collect so that we don’t have to challenge our way of thinking, because it’s easier not to.  This destructive thinking trap is very common, and it can have detrimental effects on our productivity when we make big decisions based on false information.
  7. Beginner’s optimism. – Beginner’s optimism is the human tendency to underestimate the time required to complete an unfamiliar task.  It occurs due to a lack of planning and research on behalf of someone who is excited about doing something they have never done before.  In other words, when we get assigned a new task that we are anxious to get started on, instead of delaying the start time to accurately evaluate the level of difficulty and resources required, we simply guess and begin.  Thus, our expectation of the workload is based on raw optimism instead past experience and reliable data.  And it all backfires on us a little later when we find ourselves knee deep in work we were unprepared for.
  8. Rebelling simply to prove personal freedom. – Although more common in children, this thinking fallacy can affect people of any age.  It’s basically a person’s urge to do something they have been told not to do, for fear that their freedom of choice is being taken away from them.  This person may not even want to do whatever they are doing to rebel; however, the simple fact that they are not supposed to do it motivates them to do so anyway.  The tactic of reverse psychology is a commonly used method of exploiting this thinking fallacy in others.
  9. Judging a person’s capabilities based solely on the way they look. – This happens thousands of times a day worldwide when one person assumes something about another person based on their immediate appearance.  For example, someone might see a tall, well groomed man in his early fifties, wearing a business suit, and instantly assume he is successful and reliable, even though there is zero concrete evidence to support this assumption.  Bottom line:  You can’t judge a book by its cover.
  10. Trying to diminish losses by continuing to pursue a previous failure. – Sometimes called the sunk cost fallacy, this is a thinking fault that motivates us to continue to support a previously unsuccessful endeavor.  We justify our decision to continue investing in this failed endeavor based on our cumulative prior investment, despite new evidence suggesting that the cost, starting today, of continuing to pursue it outweighs the expected benefit.  The logical thing to do would be for us to cut our losses and change our course of action.  However, due to the sunk costs we have already invested, we feel committed to the endeavor, so we invest even more time, money and energy into it, hoping that our additional investment will reverse the outcome.  But it never will.

If you can relate to some of these destructive thinking faults, and you’re interested in learning more about them, give these books a read.  All three are equally incredible:

Photo by: Pejman Parvandi


I hope you found this article helpful…

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach 

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Habit Change

I thought I would share an article with you that I found on the web. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did


Secrets to habit change

by Meg Selig

Succeed at Habit Change With This One-Page "Book!"

8 "chapters," 19 quotes, 1 page, and you’ve changed.

Published on May 2, 2012 by Meg Selig in Changepower


Most people don’t change a habit with a snap of their fingers. Oh, you’ve noticed that? So have many psychologists. In fact, some psychologists, notably James Prochaska, Carlo DiClemente, and John Norcross, have done extensive research showing that most people change their habits step by step, in predictable stages, over time. The “quick-change artist” is the exception, not the rule.

Using the stages-of-change idea (and taking a little poetic license with it), I’ve created a one-page "book" of successful habit change below. Whether you have a health goal, a relationship goal, or a work goal, this one-pager will help. Each “chapter” contains a few pithy quotes that will help propel you from stage to stage and finally to a successful resolution of your habit change challenge. Use these quotes for inspiration, wisdom, and humor as you reach for a healthier body, a calmer mind, or a happier life.

Preface: You are not aware that anything is wrong with your harmful habit. True, there was that one time…but you’d rather not think about that.  Your habit and you are a happy couple.

“I can resist everything but temptation.”  ~ Oscar Wilde

“How often it is that the angry man rages denial of what his inner self is telling him.” ~ Frank Herbert

Chapter 1:  As a result of your habit, you get a figurative or literal kick in the backside. You think about changing.

“We must embrace pain and welcome it as fuel for our journey.”  ~ Kenji Miyazawa

“A man too busy to take care of his health is like a mechanic too busy to take care of his tools.”  ~ Spanish proverb

Chapter 2: You get a Big Idea. This inspiration could fuel the change you want to see in yourself! This is your personal motivator!

“There is nothing more powerful than an idea whose time has come.” ~ Victor Hugo

“We generally change ourselves for one of two reasons: inspiration or desperation.” ~  Jim Rohn

Chapter 3: You make the decision to change.

“(Y)ou only need one decisive act of free will to transform the course of your own life.” ~ Jill Ker Conway

“You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage — pleasantly, smilingly, nonapologetically — to say ‘no’ to other things. And the way to do that is by having a bigger ‘yes’ burning inside.”   ~Stephen Covey

Chapter 4: You make a simple plan or choose a program to guide you as you change.  

“A goal without a plan is just a wish.” ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"He who has a why can endure any how."  ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Chapter 5: You begin your change.

“To be in hell is to drift, to be in heaven is to steer.”  ~ George Bernard Shaw

“Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action.”  ~ William James

Chapter 6: You stumble. You lapse into your old ways. You try again. You alter your plan. You find better support. You fall again. You get up again. You keep going.

"He who never makes mistakes never makes anything." ~ English proverb

“To be enlightened is to be without anxiety over imperfection.”  ~ Buddhist saying

“Courage is not the absence of despair; it is, rather, the courage to move ahead despite despair.”     ~ Rollo May


Chapter 7: Time passes. You hang in there, working on your goal. It’s getting easier. Slowly a new habit, a better habit, takes shape.

“Discipline is remembering what you want.”  ~ David Campbell

"Energy and persistence conquer all things." ~ Benjamin Franklin

Chapter 8: Your new way of life has become second nature. You’ve improved your life, your health, or your relationships, probably all three. You did it!

“He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still.” ~ Lao-tse

“I am, indeed, a king, because I know how to rule myself.” ~ Pietro Aretino

Do you have a quote that has inspired you as you changed your life in some way? Share it in comments!

(c)  Meg Selig, 2012

I am the author of Changepower! 37 Secrets to Habit Change Success (Routledge, 2009), the 232-page version of the one-page book above. For more nuggets on topics of habit change, willpower, and healthy living that are even shorter (!) than the one-page "book," like me on Facebook, and/or follow me on Twitter.

Podcast alert!  I am honored to be the guest on Dr.Tim Pychyl’s latest podcast.You can find the podcast at, or you can subscribe to the iProcrastinate podcast on iTunes.  Dr. Pychyl, a fellow PT blogger, is a procrastination expert and interviewer extraordinaire.


Meg Selig is the author of Changepower! 37 Secrets to Habit Change Success.


God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

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You Smoke….. Your Fired!

smokersThe other day I was listening to WJR 760, the local Detroit talk radio, the show was the Mitch Album show and the topic was companies that fire smokes. The interview itself was very calm, but the post call in, at times got very heated. The question that caused all the heat, “Do companies have a right to fire smokers?” My simple answer, yes they do…. But…

The but in this answer is very big, in fact its huge… As a person who believes in free enterprise and the ability of people and companies to control their destiny. Companies should have the right to decide who should represent them, be it smokers or nonsmoker. But this rule should also hold true for other attributes, such as size, faith, or any other attribute. If, for example I owned a Catholic company or school or hospital, I should have the right to only hire Catholics in good standing. Or if I run an airline, I should have the right to hire only stewards the represent what I want to present my company as. If that is thin beautiful woman, than that’s what I should be allowed to hire.

The fact that several companies will not hire smokers (Source) is a corporate decision, one made to help lower health insurance coast, increase profits and promote a healthy life style. Fine, I’m good with that… As a smoker (well currently a nonsmoker) I good with that, they have the right to decide whom they want working and representing them. So if Delta Airlines decides they no longer want to hire anyone whose weight is over a certain level, to save fuel, promote a healthy life style, than they should have the same right as the companies that fire smokers. If a Catholic hospital wants to hire only Catholics in good standing, to promote the catholic faith, and wants to lower health insurance coast by not covering birth control and abortion, than they should have the same rights as the companies that fire smokers.

The right of privet companies should be respected across the board. The right of a restaurant to bad age groups (Source) should also be respected. We should not allow some rules but not others, fair is fair, to use a liberal phrase. If a company make a bad decision, and offends to many people, they will do one of two things, they will either change or they will close down, it’s that simple. The free market will correct the system, as long as the system is allowed to work.

The problem is, the rules are not fair, and the liberals are picking and choosing what is good for you and what is good for corporations. The problem is, we are not allowing the free market to be free. We are regulating the market, holding it back and creating a false market. A market that is pushed and prodded to follow along a path of socialism. A system of the government telling you what is best for you. Yes I know the government is not forcing companies to fire smokers, but they are forcing Catholic institutions to hire non-Catholics and Delta to hire heavy-set stewards. And give the government time, and they will require companies to hire only non-smokers. Trust me on this, with Obamcare coming, to save money, drive down health care, they will force Americans to quit smoking. Is that a bad thing? Health wise, no, we all know smoking is bad for you, but liberty wise, Hell ya its bad…. What would be next? Drinking? Read Meat? Sugar? Salt? Think not… (Source) Or how about the size of your TV (Source). The government has not right to interfere in your personal life. They tried it with prohibition (Source), it didn’t work to well.

So, does a company have the right to fire smokers…. Sure it does, as long as a company has the right to fire fat people or to fire non-Catholics or anyone else that does  not represent that company’s views. Fair is fair.

God Bless

Paul Sposite

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How Smucker’s BP&J changed the world*


I have written about, in the past, my sisters daughter who had brain cancer as a child, she is 22 now, and over all doing fine. She has the mentality of an 8-year-old, and this, sometimes, causes one to stop and reflect on what she has to say. Many times you just smile and laugh because her way of processing information is, well lets just say interesting.

For example a few years back my sister decide that the truth of Santa needed to be told to her, she was getting a tad-bit to big to sit on his lap. So the truth was told… Her response, “Well what about Rudolf?” How can you argue with that…?

The latest concerns school. She attends a skill center, a school designed round the needs of kids like her, it teaches skills for life. Some of the kids will be able to hold jobs, live on their own and function in life, and the skill center is there “college”. Her plan, now that she is 22, was to go only 1/2 time, she was getting board with the classes and really only had interest in a few things. One of the things they do at the skill center is provide the kids with a change to work at local business, and she has done so, but only liked working at one particular place. This can be an issue, if they don’t like, well than they don’t understand why they have to do it. She understands she is an “adult”, she is 22, so why is she being forced to work someplace she does not like. Understandable… The other issue, most of her friends have left the skill center, or sadly, they have passed on. This being a risk with any of her friends that had childhood cancer. Her best friend passed on last year, it was a sad, sad time for all of us.

So, her plan, school 1/2 time and work around the house the other part of the day. A good plan, not how I see it, left to her own devices, cartoons would rule her world and little to no work/activity would take place. Not a good thing for her, or anyone else for that matter.

As luck would have it, her friends more or less convinced her to go full-time, but that was not the deciding factor. The State also required her to go full-time, based on her test results. But that, to her, was not the deciding factor, the deciding factor to her was…. are you ready for this…

“If I don’t go full-time, than I wont get my Smucker’s Peanut Butter and Jelly

Yep, it was the PB&J that did it. You see my sisters would only buy them for school lunches, and with only 1/2 time at school she would not take a lunch, so no PB&J.

This has to cause one to stop and think. How simple, how pure and innocent a thought. My life revolves around whether I can have a Smucker’s or not. You got to love it. How much simpler all our lives would be if only we based our decisions on such important things, such as can I have a Smucker’s or not.

Like I said, sometimes I just have to take pause… And really think about what she said, yes I smiled and laughed when my sister told me this, and yes to her that was a major factor in her decision to attend full-time.

So now I know, when something important comes up, I won’t ask WWJD (What would Jesus do) but rather CIHAS (Can I have a Smucker’s). Yes my friends, Smucker’s can, and did change the world, at least for her. god bless her simple thoughts, there are days I wish I had the same logic…


God Bless


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Posted by on August 31, 2011 in Family, Life, sister(s), youth


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Change is hard, get over it

Lucas Cranach the Elder (1472-1553): Adam and ...

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Sometimes the truth hurts, and if it don’t, than its most likely not the truth.  This fact was a hard lesson, or should I say, is a hard lesson, for one of my boys to learn. But last night he learned it, I hope!

The process of change is hard, if it was not we would not have a multi-million dollar industry arranged around our need for help with change. The whole self-help industry is based on the fact that people don’t like change. And why don’t we like it, because it’s hard, if it were easy we would not need self-help gurus, books and seminars.

The not so politically correct response to the statement that change is hard, is GET OVER IT! Yes its hard, so what! Life is hard, school is hard, work is hard, being a teen is hard, being a parent is hard, being faithful is hard, trusting in God is hard….. Lots of things are hard…. So what….

Why do we, humans, always look for they path of least resistance, knowing that most likely the path of resistance is the path that we truly seek? This has been true through human history, if it was not, Adam and Eve would have never taken a bite of the apple, Jesus would have converted everyone on day one and we would have no wars. Yet Adam and Eve did take a big bite out of the apple, Jesus did not convert everyone and we have wars…

The sooner we accept that change is hard, and that we must face it, the sooner we will change. Yes, we all need help along the path of change, yes we will have set backs and yes we all will fail every-now-and-then, but so what… As long as we keep walking forward, as long as we keep trying, keep making the decision to keep moving, the change will come, it will happen and we will become the person we are seeking to become.

But if we choose not to keep walking, if we choose to say its to hard, the change we seek will always be elusive, we will never become what we have set-out to become. In the end, it is all up to us, we choose to change or we choose to find excuse not to  change. Funny how it works that way.

God Bless


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Posted by on March 17, 2011 in Change, Improvement, Self, selfhelp, youth


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