Sowing: A Lenten Reflection

 

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The Parable of the Sower

1 That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat by the lake. 2 Such large crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat in it, while all the people stood on the shore. 3 Then he told them many things in parables, saying: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. 4 As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. 5 Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. 6 But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. 7 Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. 8 Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. 9 Whoever has ears, let them hear.”

10 The disciples came to him and asked, “Why do you speak to the people in parables?”

11 He replied, “Because the knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them. 12 Whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them. 13 This is why I speak to them in parables:

“Though seeing, they do not see;
though hearing, they do not hear or understand.

14 In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah:

“‘You will be ever hearing but never understanding;
you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.
15 For this people’s heart has become calloused;
they hardly hear with their ears,
and they have closed their eyes.
Otherwise they might see with their eyes,
hear with their ears,
understand with their hearts
and turn, and I would heal them.’[a]

16 But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear. 17 For truly I tell you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.

18 “Listen then to what the parable of the sower means: 19 When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in their heart. This is the seed sown along the path. 20 The seed falling on rocky ground refers to someone who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. 21 But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. 22 The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful. 23 But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it. This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”

Matthew 13:1-23 (NIV)

A good spring reading, planting the garden, caring for the garden. Jesus used parables to teach very deep and profound messages, he used everyday life situations to teach of eternity. Jesus connected to the common man with stories of the everyday. Yet people had a hard time understanding Him, His stories seemed to go over there heads. Why? What made the parables that hard to understand? It seems to us, a little over two thousand years later that what Jesus said is as plain as day. Your deeds are the seeds, your actions are sown into the soil of your soul and our confession is our weeding of our garden.

Jesus, it seems to us, spoke very clearly, but Jesus also stated:

“Though seeing, they do not see;
though hearing, they do not hear or understand.

If that is not a human trait, I don’t know what is. How often we do not see what is before us, the sunset, the bloom of the rose the smile of a child. And how often we do not hear the sounds of the world, the soft wind that blows through the tress, the gentle babble of the brook or the sweet song of the song birds. We miss out on the glories of life, all to often because we are to caught up in life. Or so we think. Life is not to be tossed about, we are to carefully plant our seeds, nurture them and weed our gardens, not just scatter them about and hope for the best. Would you plant your vegetable garden in such a fashion? I think not, it would be a waste of your time, money and effort, so why toss about your soul is such a fashion? Why take such little care for what will bring you eternity?

All weekend I tended to my gardens, cleaning out the leftover fall leafs and pulling the weed, planting some new seed and doing the basic spring start-up. It was lots of work, not yet finished, and it was hard, but over all satisfying. But I am paying for it today, the pain in places I did not know could even hurt, the thought that I will have to do it all again, to the rest of the gardens and the simple fact that gardening, like life, is never done. There are always weeds to pull, plants to trim, grass to cut and so on. It seems that there is always a reason to care for our gardens. But how often do we neglect our gardens? I know that once summer hits, it is harder to force myself to go out and work in my garden, who wants to work hard on a beautiful summers day? What one of us would rather sit drinking an iced tea and reading a good book, or take a trip to the sandy beach. But I know that if I don’t tear out the weeds, they will over take my garden, and smother out the plants, turning all my hard work into a mess. And when that happens, the cleaning up is many times harder than the up keep. To spend a few hours each week weeding is easier than tearing out the garden and rebuilding from scratch. This past weekend I had to just that, tear everything out of one garden and start all over. I was given wild onions that I planted in a small round garden. The first year, they looked great, I have 6 plants, the second year I had maybe 15 plants, the third year, I have 50 or more. So out it came, each one of them. And it was hard work, digging, and pulling, rebuilding the walls of the garden, turning the soil and replanting new plants. If I would have cared for the wild onions, pulled them up, ate them and thinned them out, the work would not have been so hard. But I allowed nature to takes its course, and the onions over powered the garden, making in look a mess, as if it had not a caretaker. The onions did as they were made to do, they reproduced, but I was to care for my garden, to pull some for food and pull some for the over all health of the garden. But I neglected it, I allowed the onions to crowd out each other, to infringe upon each other, not allowing each other the space to grow. And now I pay the price, I dug them all up, replanted a few in two other gardens and created a new one.

Is that not like our life, we plant seeds of sin, sure they seem simple and harmless enough when we plant them. A little white lie here, are little envy here and we think nothing of it. But that little lie grows and becomes a big lie, it blossoms and turns to seed, planting new lies, that all seem harmless. But before we know it, the lies have overtaken our life, and we are lying about needless things, lying about our lies. The garden of our soul is now overtaken by the one simple lie that started it all. The planting bad seeds is easy, you just toss them to the wind, but the planting of good seeds takes time and care. 

This Lent take the time to tend to your garden, tear out the weeds of your life, and plant new seeds of love, hope and charity.  Use lent as the springtime for the soul, plant new gardens of prayer and reverence, and tend to the care of your garden, making it a place of contemplation and praise.

God Bless & Happy Lent

 

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach 

 

 

 

Naked: A Lenten Reflection

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 8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the LORD God called to the man, “Where are you?”

10 He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”

11 And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?”

12 The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”

13 Then the LORD God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”

The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

Genesis 3:8-13 (NIV)

The story of Adam and Eve, our first parents, is a story often told and one that we all know. God made Adam, than Eve, Eve ate of the fruit and gave it to Adam. God came for His walk in the garden, with Adam and Eve, and Adam and Eve hid… Why, because they were naked…

Naked, meaning nothing to cover them, yes, but no. Naked has a deeper meaning here, the nakedness they felt was manifested on the outside, but was truly on the inside. The shame they felt was not a shame of the body, but a shame of the soul, for they now understood good and evil, they now knew what it was like to sin, and the soul was shamed.

We all are naked before the Lord, for He sees everything, there is nothing He does not know, for He created us and loves us. We are all sinners and we all, at some point feel shame for our actions.

Adam and Eve fashioned fig leaves together to cover their shame, they hid themselves from the sight of God, but God could see them and He questioned them. The first reaction, blame others… Eve the snake, Adam the woman. But who truly sinned, who was truly to blame, Adam, the first man, the first priest. His Church, the garden, under his care, all that God has created. Adam was given guardianship over Gods creation. How do I know this, what makes me say this, God had Adam name all the creatures of earth. To name something is to care for it. We, as parents, name our children, and in doing so, take on the responsibility of caring for and nurturing and protecting that child. Adam was given the same responsibility. God created Eve from Adam, flesh of my flesh blood of my blood, as Adam put it. So Eve was of Adam and of God, but Adam was of God only. Adam was the first priest, his church, the garden, his flock, all of Gods creation. As the priest, he was charged with protection all with in his domain, all of Gods creations, and all within the garden. By allowing the devil to enter into the Garden, Adam had failed, he had fallen asleep at the gate and allowed Eve to be tempted. Adam had sinned.

The nakedness of humanity had started, sin has entered our world and all the lies to cover up our nakedness had become part of our humanity. We may not use fig leafs to cover our nakedness anymore, but we still cover up nerveless.

Stories of priest falling asleep on the job is not just a Adam story, we experience it today. The news stories if Priest abusing their powers, embezzling money and of course the sex scandal. But that is only the Priest we identify, in truth, we Catholics, all of us, are priest (lower case p), by our very Baptism we are priest, profit and  king. We are Adams of our own gardens, and we have dominion over all with in it, our children, pets, family’s and communities. Have we fallen asleep at our gates? Have we let the snake into our gardens? As a fallen race, I would venture to guess the answer is yes, we have allowed the snake in, but have we allowed the snake to tempt us? Once again I would have to say yes, we have, we all have because we all are human and being so means we all have failed, we all have sinned. But now comes the next question, what have you done about it? Have you just allowed the snake to take over or have you worked diligently to exterminate the snake?

The garden of Eden was paradise, but man, in his imperfections, allowed evil to enter within its gates. He allowed it because he allowed his ego to control him actions, his desire to be more than what he is became his downfall and we are still dealing with it today. Our ego is the snake and our lies are the fig leafs and our shame the nakedness.

The Cross of Redemption has opened of the gates of Heaven, but the gates of the Garden of Eden are still locked to us, someplace on earth paradise sits, but we are too vain to see it, our eyes are covered over with our own vanity, that we could not see it even if we were standing in the middle of it. Our inequities blind us to the perfection of Eden and keep us in  a state of nakedness.

Christ, the new Adam, has redeemed us and renewed our priesthood with His body and blood. His suffering was the down payment and His death the price, he purchased our salvation and guaranteed its delivery through His resurrection. Adam came into this world naked, than trough sin covered up his nakedness, Christ died upon the cross naked to defeat the sin that Adam introduced.

Lent offers us a time to expose ourselves before God, to remove the fig leafs and stand naked before our God. A time to ask for forgiveness and a time to receive it. Like Adam, we all have allowed sin to enter into our lives, we all have allowed our ego to control our actions,but unlike Adam we have the promise of salvation. Adam, by covering himself in sin, closed the gated of Heaven to us, but Christ, but uncovering the sin, exposing Himself to our sins, has open the gates of Heaven to us. We must work hard in our gardens to eradicate the snake, to remove it from our gardens to till the soil and plant the seeds of forgiveness and love. Use this Lenten session to do a bit of gardening, attend the Sacrament of Confession, make peace with your soul and tend to your garden.

God Bless & Happy Lent

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

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American Catholic Council hits Detroit and Archbishop Allen Vigneron hits back

This past weekend was an exciting time in Detroit for Catholics. The city was host to the American Catholic Council (Read here). Now let me be clear, this is a dissident group, they are Catholic only by name, and I do not support them and anyway. So, you may be asking yourself, why than, was it an exciting weekend.

Well, because of Detroit is not backing down…. He is standing up for the One True Faith…. Not something we see a lot of in todays Church. (See here) (and here)

To see what the American Catholic Council as all about look here (Web Link). The whole idea is to make the Catholic Church a democracy, allowing votes and majority rules. To create a more “inclusive” church.

Really…

Did Jesus hold a vote with the 12, did God hold a vote? Nope… Religion is not democratic by nature, and it should not be. But what the American Catholic Council is looking for is a faith that is, a faith that will allow you the “freedom” to choose what you like and dislike….

• Abortion, well that up to you and your personal relationship with God
• The true presence of Jesus, you can believe it if you want, I don’t want to force my ideas on you
• Confession, just go to the forest and hug a tree and all will be good
• Woman priest, sure why not, it will make them happy
• Traditions, they are silly, unless we like them of course

The list of “what if’s” could go on and on, but basically you are taking the Rites and Traditions of the Church and tossing them out the window in the name of progress… You are creating a faith that has no grounding and one that has no shape.

Yes, I believe in a personal relationship with my Lord and Savior, but I can have one and still have my Church and all her blessing. I don not have toss out the old to the sake of the new.  Is the Church perfect, no, not the parts that man has messed up, does she need to change, sure some things, but not the parts that God has created.

In the Catholic faith there is Traditions and traditions, Traditions with a capital “T” should not be messed with, they are the oral Traditions from the beginning of our faith, much like the bible is sacred scripture, Traditions are sacred Traditions. Little “t” traditions, well they are more like family traditions, they can vary from country to country or Church to Church. There is more wiggle room there for change.

Question: Why is it that liberals, be they political or religious” fell that “progress” always involve removal of all that is “old”? Why do they feel that for an institution to be “relevant” it must “keep up with the times” at all coast? To hell with traditions and heritage, the new and latest fad is the way to go. We see it in our liberal politicians, the United Stated has worked just fine, thank you very much, for the past 200 plus years, but that means nothing to them. To them the new, the shiny and the “bold” is the way to go. Dump it all out and start fresh with the liberal agenda. That is not progress, that is regress! They would be fine with tossing out al the lessons learned and starting with nothing. What a messed up concept.

Liberal Catholics are the same. I once volunteered at a very liberal parish.  So liberal that it would not allow any Latin singing or devotion to Our Lady. If that’s the case, and that’s how you feel than just become protestant (no offence to any protestants reading this) and be done with it. Or start your own church and move on.

But no, they can’t…

And here is why… I am sure for  most of them it is nothing but a power thing. They want to want the power of the protest, they need to descent and be the “outsider” to fit in. They need to be different so they take the liberal point of view, claiming to be open. But more often than not, they are not open, they are as closed to ideas as they claim Conservatives are. Case and point:

If a liberal church is open to ideas and believe that each person needs to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and they believe that we each have our own path to this relationship and that “different strokes for different folks” is the mantra. Than what would be the harm in allowing the bells to be rung at consecration? Or what is the harm of a little Latin in the Mass? To me that is an open-minded thing to do. But nope, that’s not how they see it. No Latin and no bells, that “old school” and no good for you.

It always come down to that, “It’s no good for you” or “Its for your own good” or “We are looking out for you”, that is the liberals standard line when they are dictating their open-mindedness to you. When they are forcing you to follow their plans for a free society or church. When they are dictating to you how you should think…. How to be open-minded like they are.

“All are welcome” is a formal battle cry for liberal Catholics. It sounds good, and hell, who can disagree with that, I don’t. But I also know that that’s not really what they mean by that saying. All are welcome is the politically correct way of saying “All are welcome who think as we thing, act as we act and do as we say, but that was way to long for a banner, so they shortened it to just All are welcome. And besides it’s much more misleading so they like it better.

It’s the old bait and switch routine, get them in the door to purchase one thing, and switch it to another. We advertise openness, we sell you closed mindedness, but call it openness. And millions of Catholics are willing to buy it. Why you may ask, why would they buy it if it’s not what it states it is. Because we, Conservatives stink at marketing, because we don’t hype up the truth, we feel the truth on its own is good enough. We don’t need to bait and switch to get you in, we just need to tell the truth. So how is that working out for us… The Catholic Church is growing in the United States… So over all I would say good…

The times, they are a changing… The tide is coming in… The Church is going through a revolution, one that will restore Her pack to Her Conservative roots… We just need to keep speaking the truth. In the end, the Truth always wins.

 

God Bless

Paul

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Lent 2011: Are you ready for it?

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With Lent here, it’s a good time to ask the question, “Are you ready for it?” or an even better question, “Do you understand it?”

Lent is a complex time in the Church year, we are depriving ourselves, we are reminded of our mortality yet we are to be preparing for the Death and Resurrection of our Lord, a time of celebration….

Talk about emotions running the gamete… The high and lows of life are all put into the 40 days of Lent… We as Catholic/Christians are called to use this time as a time of renewal, a time to prepare for the new life, the new life in Christ.

It’s a time of sacrifice, a time to offer up to God. But many look at it as a time to stop eating candy or drinking pop. Yes they are sacrifice for many, but is that all we need to do?

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(Source)

1. Take 30 minutes to pray, ask the Holy Spirit’s guidance, look over this activities list for the Season of Lent, and make a few practical Lenten resolutions. Be careful. If you try to do too much, you may not succeed in anything. If you need to get up early or stay up late to get the 30 minutes of quiet, do it. Turn off your phone and computer. Don’t put it off and don’t allow interruptions.
2. During the Season of Lent, Get up earlier than anyone else in your house and spend your first 15 minutes of the day thanking God for the gift of life and offering your day to Him.
3. Get to daily Mass.
4. If you can’t do Mass daily, go to Mass on Fridays in addition to Sunday and thank Him for laying his life down for you. Maybe you can go another time or two as well.
5. Spend at least 30 minutes in Eucharistic adoration at least one time during the week.
6. Recover the Catholic tradition of making frequent visits to the Blessed sacrament throughout the week, even if it is only for 5 minutes.
7. Get to confession at least once during the Season of Lent after making a good examination of conscience. If you are not sure why confession is important, get my CD “Who Needs Confession.”
8. In addition to the penance assigned by the priest, fulfill the conditions necessary for a plenary indulgence. You can learn about plenary indulgences from the official Handbook of Indulgences.
9. Make a decision to read at least some Scripture every day. Starting with Today’s!
10. Even if you can’t get to daily Mass during the Lenten Season, get a Daily Roman Missal or go visit the Crossroads Homepage for a link to the Daily Mass readings, and read these readings daily. During special seasons such as Lent, the Mass readings are thematically coordinated and make for a fantastic Bible study!
11. Pray the Liturgy of the Hours. You can buy a one volume edition or a full four volume edition. Or you can get it day by day online for free at www.universalis.com. Or you can subscribe to a monthly publication called the Magnificat that provides a few things from the liturgy of the hours together with the Mass readings of the day. The Magnificat is a great way to start learning the Liturgy of the Hours.
12. Get to know the Fathers of the Church and read selections from them along with Scripture. Short selections from the Fathers writing on Lenten themes can be downloaded for free from the Lenten Library of our website at www.crossroadsintiative.com
13. Make the Stations of the Cross each Friday of the Season of Lent either with a group or by yourself. If you have kids, bring them.
14. Pray the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary often during Lent, especially on Friday and Wednesday. The glorious mysteries are especially appropriate on Sundays. Joyful and Luminous mysteries are great on other days.
15. Purchase the Scriptural Rosary, which supplies you with a scripture verse to recite between each Hail Mary. This makes it easier to meditate on the mysteries. Another resource to deepen your understanding of the Rosary is my CD set “How Mary and the Rosary can Change Your Life.”
16. If you’ve never done a family rosary, begin doing it. If starting with once a week, try Friday or Sunday. If it’s tough to start with a full five decades, try starting with one. Use the Scriptural Rosary and have a different person read each of the Scriptures between the Hail Mary’s. This gets everyone more involved.
17. Make it a habit to stop at least five times a day, raise your heart and mind to God, and say a short prayer such as “Jesus, I love you,” or “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner,” or “Lord, I offer it up for you.”
18. Pray each day for the intentions and health of the Holy Father.
19. Pray each day for your bishop and all the bishops of the Catholic Church.
20. Pray for your priests and deacons and for all priests and deacons.
21. Pray for the millions of Christians suffering under persecution in various Muslim and Communist countries around the world such as the Sudan, Pakistan, Indonesia, China, Viet Nam, and North Korea.
22. Pray for Christian unity, that there would be one flock and one shepherd.
23. Pray for the evangelization of all those who have not yet heard and accepted the Good News about Jesus.
24. Pray for your enemies. In fact, think of the person who has most hurt you or who most annoys you and spend several minutes each day thanking God for that person and asking God to bless him or her.
25. Pray for an end to abortion on demand in the United States. Pray for pregnant women contemplating abortion.
26. Pray for a just peace in Iraq, Afghanistan, the Holy Land and elsewhere. Pray for our troops and for others in harm’s way.
27. Pray for an end to capital punishment. Pray for those on death row, and for the families of murder victims.
28. Find a form of fasting that is appropriate for you, given your age, state of health, and state of life. Some fast on bread and water on Wednesdays and Fridays. Some fast from sweets or alcohol throughout Lent. Some fast on one or more days per week from breakfast all the way to dinner, spending lunch hour in prayer or at noon Mass. Some cut out all snacks between meals. The money saved from not buying various things should be given to an apostolate or ministry serving the physically or spiritually poor.
29. Prayer is like breathing – you have to do it continually. But sometimes you need to pause and take a very deep breath. That’s what a retreat is. Plan a retreat this Lent. It could be simply a half day, out in nature, or in a Church. Or it could be a full day. Or an overnight. You can certainly read lots of things during your retreat or listen to lots of talks. But try sticking to Scripture, the liturgy, and quiet as much as you can. During or at the end of the retreat, write down what the Holy Spirit seems to be saying.
30. Find a written biography of a Saint that particularly appeals to you, and read it during the Season of Lent.
31. Instead of secular videos for weekend entertainment, try some videos that will enrich your spiritual life. Suggestions: Jesus of Nazareth, by Franco Zeffirelli, The Scarlet and the Black, the Assisi Underground.
32. While driving, turn off the secular radio for awhile and use commute time to listen to some teaching on audiocassette or CD. Some great resources can be purchased through this site or from other Catholic apostolates and publishers that you can find on our links page.
33. Find a local homeless shelter, soup kitchen, or crisis pregnancy center, and volunteer some time there throughout Lent. Serve the people there with the understanding that in so doing, you are serving Jesus. Try to see Jesus in each person there.
34. Visit someone at a nursing home or in the hospital or sick at home. Again, love Jesus in and through the suffering person.
35. Is there a widow or divorced person living in your neighborhood? If so, invite that person to your home for dinner, coffee, etc.
36. View Mel Gibson’s movie The Passion of the Christ during Lent on VHS or DVD, if you feel you can handle the violence. Get a copy of The Guide to the Passion to help you get the most out of the movie.
37. Invite folks to view The Passion of the Christ with you, especially people whose faith is rather nominal, or who do not practice their faith, or who do not profess Christian faith at all. Give them a copy of The Guide to the Passion.
38. Spend some focused time with your spouse, strengthening your marriage. Start praying together, or make praying together a more frequent occurrence.
39. Spend some focused time together with each of your children. Listen. Pray. Maybe even have fun.
40. When Easter comes, don’t drop the new practice you’ve begun during the Season Lent! Make a permanent feature of a deeper Christian life!

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God Bless and Happy Lent

Paul

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I am a Sinner, this much I know

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I am a sinner in need of a conversion. A deep spiritual conversion. I need to feel the spirit of God racing through my vein’s, I need to hear the soft whisper of the Holy Spirit within my being and I need to experience the crucifixion of our Lord daily.

This is how I have been feeling as of late, I know I am a sinner, as we all are, and I know I need to go to confession, and soon, it has been like 6 months. And I know and understand I need a conversion, not to a new faith, nope, I am a Catholic, proud to be one and will be one for life. I believe in the One True Faith, established by Jesus Christ himself. And I have no desire to go “church shopping”, nope the Catholic faith is the right faith. But I am still in-need of a conversion.

What kind of conversion, is it from being a conservative Catholic to a liberal Catholic or how about to a charismatic Catholic. Nope, I am happy being a conservative Catholic, the conversion I am seeking is one of the heart, one that moves the soul and transforms me into the person that God created me to be.

Like I said, I know I am a sinner, and God did not create me to be a sinner, but rather a saint. Well lets just say I fall short, way short. And a good old fashion conversion is just what I need.  So Come Holy Spirit and renew my soul, make within me a dwelling place for the Lord, make within me a holy of holies and reside in me for eternity.

I need a conversion of my being, of who and what I am, of what I think and what I do, I need a conversion of life. My life is not what it should be, it is one of shame and disgrace, I have sinned in action and words, my thoughts have betrayed me and I have betrayed God. I am an unworthy servant, one that lacks in character and sufficient grace.

Oh, I know God has provided for me all the grace I need, and then some, but I still lack, not because God has not provided, but because I have neglected to receive it. For I am a sinner, and sinners block the grace God bestows upon them, for they are foreign to them, they are like a virus to a sinner, grace attacks the sin and to a sinner that is unacceptable.

And I am a sinner. Sure my life is filled with grace, for anyone who reads my blog will know this. I am blessed, but I also know I am not fulfilling my calling that I am lacking in grace to be what God truly wishes me to be. I am in need of a conversion, one that leads me to my Lord upon the Cross, one that fills my heart with sorrow for humanity but love for Gods creation, a conversion that fills me up, and over flows my being with the grace of God. I am a sinner, a sinner in all that I am, a sinner who is searching for the light upon the hill but can only see the shadows of that hill.

The blessings that have been bestowed upon me are numerous and I am grateful, I know that God is with me and that I have to do is ask, and I shall receive. But there in lies the problem, how shall I ask, for what shall I ask and what shall I receive? Gods ways are not ours, Gods responses do not always make sense to us, His yes sometimes seems like a no, and His response can seem like to response at all. And my ideas of what I need may not be truly what I need. But this is due to the fact that I am a sinner, my connection to God is corroded, covered in the black gunk of sin.

The Saints, all of them, were sinners, we all are, with the exception of Mary, the mother of Jesus. They all had to deal with the corrosion of sin, they all have had faulty connections at one time or another. St. Francis of Assisi miss understood Gods wishes to “fix His Church”, Francis took it literally and set about rebuilding a few church buildings, God’s meaning, fix the humanity of the Church, not the buildings of the Church. … But Francis got it right in the end. Mother Teresa of Calcutta, a modern-day saint to look to and admire and bouts of what is called the “black night”, times of deep and painful spiritual warfare, but she found Gods grace even in that. 

I have been all things unholy. If God can work through me, he can work through anyone.
Francis of Assisi

For I am a sinner, in need of a conversion, a conversion of my being.

God Bless

Paul

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The gift of grudge

With Mothers Day upon us, it is time to reflect on our mother, both earthly and those that are no longer with us. The other day I posted a blog about having parents, or better yet, the blog was tong in cheek about needing to prove I had parents on my birth certificate. But it did cause me a moment to stop and reflect upon them. Both my parents have passed on, my dad has been gone some thirteen years and my mom has been gone four years or so.

As a child of parents, as we all are, the loss of a parent is difficult at best. But the loss of the surviving parent is even harder. It is at this point that I think you realize that your life is not indefinite that you too will one day pass on. I was heart broken when I lost my dad, I felt a section on my life drift away. But I still had my mom there to feel that connection to life, that connection to my being. It was in-fact them that brought me into being, working in cooperation with God. So with the loss of them both, so in a way, I saw the death of my creators. I saw an end of a time of walking on earth with my loving parents, who out of love created me, loved me, even when I deserved no love. I saw my earthly parents parish from this life, and God willing enter in to the next.

It is kind of ironic that I had to search for and find my birth certificate that listed my mom and dad’s names. That I had to prove that they existed. Life has a way of calling our attention to facts at odd moments. God does work in mysterious ways. At this point in time my relationships with my siblings are strained at best. The one I am closest to, my sister, we have not truly talked to each other is over two months, my other sister and I have not talked since my mothers passing and my brothers, well its a strange relationship at the best of times.

It is sad that we all do not get along, that past issues prevent us from maintaining a relationship today. Some of it is me, I know, and some of it them. It is shared equally between us. Each of us have a little bit of our mother in us. Mom was able to hold a grudge up until the end. She only had one sibling, a sister, they had not talked to each other in over 20 years. And in truth it started over a silly painting that was hung in my mom and dads bedroom. Salt was added to the wound when my dad passed away and my moms sister could not find it in her heart to send a card with even a hint at tenderness. All five of us children seemed to receive this “gift” from our mother.

We all seem to be able to hold onto a grudge for years, and as we all know, the longer we hold the grudge the deeper the roots get. My dad use to always say that mom could remember dates, times and exact conversations so she could bring them all back up in a fight. She held on to them all, just incase. Was this true, well sort of, she did have a good memory, and she did use her ability to recall facts. And at times it did seem that she kept them just incase she needed them to win an argument. But who knows…

But back to the blog…

So I found it kind of interesting that at a time in my life, in fact for the first time in my life, my relationship with my brothers and sisters are as such, that I currently am not enjoying a positive and happy one with any of them. It saddens me that this is the case. I enjoy family, but I do not enjoy the stress and strain that sometimes comes with it. And in a way the politics of families is even more confusing and dangerous that the politics of the country. The politics of the country are all played out for an end, they have reasons for what they do, they have an end in mind. But family politics, well that’s a whole different monster, often times the politics are played out with no end in mind. The end game never seems to happen and the parties involved just dig in deeper. This seems to be the case with me and my other siblings. Once again, I know that some of it is my doing, I am not claiming to be an innocent by-stander. No, i know full-well what I have done and have not done. I know where I have tried and where I have failed or not tried at all.

But the past week has caused me to pause and think, to ponder the facts and to reflect upon the nature of family. The fact that I am preparing to travel to India for two weeks has caused me to think. Normally I would be in contact with my one sister, asking for her help in watching over my house or just talking about how excited I am about the trip, I love to travel. But this time around, no such conversation took place. I have someone to watch my house, truth be told I always have someone to watch it, I as a neighbor to check up on it, and I have a nephew who lives her, so he will make sure the dog is feed and plants have water. So in truth she is not needed to watch my house. I just felt better knowing that my sister was overseeing it all. Normally my sister would also keep me up-to-date concerning her life, but this past week she was in the DC area, and I had no idea, I was never told. Not that she has to tell me, but normally she would have, normally she would have even asked if I wanted to come along. 

So the gift of grudge holds strong in my family, its a gift that just seems to keep on giving. recently I went to confession for the first time in years. It was an experience that I will enjoy again, and on a more regular bases, I felt the warmth love of God filling my soul and spilling over into my heart. I felt the healing grace of God and knew I had to start to make changes in my life. So I started, I have invited all my siblings to the graduation party for my nephew. Even the ones that I truly do not want to see.  Don’t know if this is a good idea or not, because some may not come because the others will be there, so it may end up that none of them come.

I also am trying to learn that I too must change, that I too need to let go and to grow. But it is a hard lesson for me. The ironic part is that in the process of letting go and in growing that may truly mean that the my relationships with my family my never be the same, that I may never have a relationship with them again.  But if its because I have grown and I have truly let go of all the grudges, well than that’s ok, that’s just life. But on the flip side of the coin, this process of growing and letting go may bring us all closer together, who knows. All I know is that I need to let go and I need to grow. So more confessions for me and more soul searching in the very near future. As for my brothers and sisters, well all I can do is offer up my prayers and keep an open door. As of now the door is open, but only a little, I still have it blocked.

My mom gave us many wonderful gifts, she was a kind person with a big heart. She was understanding and loving. The whole h
olding a grudge thing, well I think that was a gift from her mother… But that truly is a whole different blog. As for this blog, well I just want to say:

I miss my mother most at times like this, at times  when I need her hugs and understanding, and her words of truth. I miss her most when I prepare to leave on trips, she was always so happy and excited for me. They were times when I knew I made her proud of me. I miss her most when my heart is heavy with sadness or confusion and I miss her most when I an filled with joy and wonder. My mom was my best friend, and someone I knew I could count on to always tell me the truth, no matter the hurt that may come with it. I respected her and loved her for that gift.  This mothers day I will offer up a special prayer, a prayer to my mother that she may still look over me and still tell me all that I need to hear. I will offer up a prayer filled with deep pain in the loss of her and filled with a deep love that can not be filled by anything upon this earth. I will ask God to bless her soul and to bring her home to him. I will pray that my moms love is never ending and that I may continue to feel her working in my life. I will pray that my love for her will only grow and never diminish.  This mothers day I give to my mom  the only gift I can, I will give the gift of love and devotion. A gift of my self and my actions. A gift of my thoughts and my being.

Mom, I miss you and love you!

Your loving son

Paul

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Colossians 4:5-6“Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” Brought to you by BibleGateway.com. Copyright (C) . All Rights Reserved.

 

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Stand or Kneel

Yesterday at after our Easter dinner the discussion of the different Parishes that we attend came up and the different practices at each.

The Parish I now attend kneels after the reception of Communion until the priest is finished cleaning the vessels and is seated himself. The Parish my friend attends Stands during Communion and is seated once the Holy Communion is placed in the Tabernacle.

The the debate went on about what was correct. Below is the passage from the GIRM.

Standing after the Agnus Dei and Communion

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Agnus Dei. The General Instruction of the Roman Missal (GIRM) states that the people stand from the end of the Offertory until the end of Mass, except that they kneel down during the Consecration. In the U.S. the approved adaptation is to kneel for the entire Eucharistic Prayer and after the Agnus Dei.

43 … In the dioceses of the United States of America, they should kneel beginning after the singing or recitation of the Sanctus until after the Amen of the Eucharistic Prayer, except when prevented on occasion by reasons of health, lack of space, the large number of people present, or some other good reason.. Those who do not kneel ought to make a profound bow when the priest genuflects after the consecration. The faithful kneel after the Agnus Dei unless the Diocesan Bishop determines otherwise.

After Communion. In 1974 Rome gave an official interpretation of the rubrics on the period after Communion, which makes the posture an option. It states, 

After communion they may either kneel, stand, or sit. Accordingly the GIRM no. 21 gives this rule: "The people sit. . .if this seems useful during the period of silence after communion." Thus it is a matter of option, not obligation. The GIRM no. 121, should, therefore, be interpreted to match no. 21: Notitiae 10 (1974) 407.

The new GIRM states,

43… They should sit during the readings before the gospel and during the responsorial psalm, for the homily and the preparation of the gifts, and, if this seems helpful, they may sit or kneel during the period of religious silence after communion.

However, some of the faithful complain that hey are being required to stand at their place after getting back from Communion. A response which Bishop Fabian Bruskewitz of Lincoln, Nebraska, received from Rome appears to clarify that point.

Query: Is it the case that the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments, by no. 43 of the Institutio Generalis Missalis Romani, [the new 2000 GIRM]  intends to prohibit the faithful from kneeling after the Agnus Dei and following reception of Communion?

Response: Negative. [Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments, Prot. 2372/00/L, 7 November 2000]

This debate is all to common in today’s Catholic world. We have Parishes deciding for themselves what is and is not expectable, creating disconnects between parishes that are only miles apart. If the argument of “Unity in prayer” can be used to defend all standing after reception of communion (as was used by my friend), than that very same argument can be used for all knelling after reception.

To me it comes down to respect. We have just received the greatest gift anyone can receive, the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of our Blessed Lord, Jesus the Christ! To show reverence by kneeling is a simple task and to me a very privet moment between me and my Savior.

I was told about a radio or TV minister that made the comment that if Catholics truly believed that Jesus was TRULY present in the sacrament of Communion we would crawl on our stomachs to get there. AMEN! It is God we are receiving, the one true God made man in the flesh of Jesus. Is it to much to ask that we show a tad bit of reverence, just a little respect? I think not.

Now I am not stating that people or parishes that stand after the reception of Communion are not showing respect. I am sure many are. But our actions are outward displays of our thought. So I ask you, are we standing because we just received the TRUE Jesus in Communion or are we stating to show unity with others? To me, and to what I have been told, we stand as a sign of unity with others. Hmmm, what about the unity we just made with Jesus in the sacrament of Holy Communion? What about the fact that we have Jesus in us like no other time, what about the fact that we have been united to our savior in a way that non-Catholics can even dream of being! We have just taken the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of our Blessed Lord in to ourselves. We have just united our being with His glorious being in a way that we could not were in not for this sacrament that Jesus established.

To me, to stand shows a sign of disrespect, and I felt that way at every Parish I ever attended that stood after the reception of our Blessed Lord. I followed the community and stood, because I also think it is disrespectful to act contrary to the community, but in my heart I was kneeling.

Standing after the reception of communion, like so many other acts of reverence were removed in the name of Vatican II.  People, most with good intentions, used this document to remove all signs of reverence from the Holy Mass and prayer and turned it into one large group hug. Like the bible passage states,

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven (Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV)

There is a time for group hugs and a time of reverence. It seems that reverence, for some, is code word for pre Vatican II and  must be eliminated. It is almost a sickness that consumes the Church like a cancer. A cancer that will spread and destroy any semblance of the Holy Roman Catholic Church if we do no
t start to get it under control.

All is not bleak nor lost, for Jesus told us:

And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. (Matthew 16:18 NIV)

So take heart and hold strong.

God Bless

Paul

The Lamb’s Supper: The Mass as Heaven on Earth (Hardcover)

 

2 Corinthians 5:14-15“For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.” Brought to you by BibleGateway.com. Copyright (C) . All Rights Reserved.

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Sign of the Cross

Yesterday as I was sitting in the day chapel waiting to go to confession I noticed something that I have seen before but it never really registered with me until then.

What I noticed was there are three types of the sign of the cross. Just like the three little bears and the portage being too cold, to hot and just right, there are three types of the sign of the cross. I have names them:

1. The Morse Code

2. The Wake up

3. The Just right

Each one has a unique look and feel. The Morse code sign of the cross looks as if the person is sending some sort of coded message to someone else in the church. It starts out ok, a full touch to the forehead but then goes to the breast and three rapid tabs and done. So it’s a dash than three dots, – … , That would translate to T, S. Not sure what that means, but that is the message.

The second is Wake up; this one starts out with a slow deliberate moving hand to the forehead, a touch and hold and hold and hold. You get the feeling that the person forgot what to do next or fell asleep before they moved on to the breast than the left and right. Often times you feel like yelling “Wake UP!”

The last one is Just right, a fine balance between a speed sign of the cross and a snail pace sign of the cross. It seems most people do this one, but I have not spent a lot of time observing different methods. Your assignment is to list below the different types of the sign of the cross you observe.

God Bless

Paul

 

Knight’s and the net

The other day I wrote a blog concerning a TV program I watched about the Knight Templar’s. The basic idea of what I was writing was the fact that the TV show spent 10 to 20 minutes talking about how mean and evil the Knights were, yet gave just a fleeting mention to the fact that they were protecting and defending the Holy Land from attach from the Muslims.

I found the responses I received interesting, I posted this blog on my STATIC Youth  blog site, but also on my Linked In site in the Catholic Group I belong to. The STATIC Youth site received no comments, but the Catholic Group on Linked in, wow! I was called a Liberal Catholic, told to go to confession and basically my faith call in to question because I dared to say that the Knights may have done some bad things.

I responded to this person for a little bit, but I have decided it matters not what I say to him, he is just dead set on saving my soul, regardless as to what I have to say. It’s almost like tossing a life ring to someone on dry land. Now please understand, I am not saying I don’t need salvation, because I do, but what I am getting at is I have explained to this person, several times, that I am not what he thinks I am, nor and I attaching the Catholic Church. But that is just adding facts to it, and he will have none of that!

It did make me stop and thing a bit, here I am, online, have a major discussion with someone I don’t even know, being accused of anti-Catholic views, and basically  being told I am not a Catholic at all. How is it, that a person feels they can make such statements concerning someone they never met nor has he read anything else I have written, and based on his responses to what I have said to him, he will not read other things I have written. Have we gotten to a point were people feel free to attach you, to call in to question your convictions over the net. Have we allowed ourselves to be fooled in to thinking that we have gained knowledge of a persons soul or being over the net?

In some ways, yes we have, look at all the so call “long distance” relationships started via chat rooms, or people who claim friendships to IM friends they never had met. We have allowed the simple task of typing to each other replace face to face, we have allowed the net with all its cool and amazing possibilities to overshadow human contact. So in a way, I have lead myself in to this little mess, but contributing to it. Such is life…

Now, I will continue to post, and I will continue to dialog with others on the net, and yes i will continue to add people to my “friends” list, I just found it interesting, that’s all.

Paul

 

Weeds

We all have put things off, told ourselves that it could wait. I did that with my gardens this year, its not like my weekends have not been booked, I have been working my butt off all summer, just not on my gardens.

So today after work I started the process of weeding my gardens, and to tell the truth, my gardens have never looked this bad so I was glad to get to it. But what a lot of work, and I am not even close to being done.

So what does weeding and putting things off have to do with faith? To tell the truth lots!

We always seem to put off going to mass, reading the bible or going to confession. And when we do that the weeds of sin grow in us, they over grow our hearts and souls and in some cases the mind. We develop a sick view of our selves. We see our self through the weeds we have grown.

The weeds of selfishness over take our compassion, and we grab and take more then we give. The weeds of sin are many, and like any weed they easily spread, and soon consume us. We become something we could never imagine, we become that what we have always feared, we become “Sinners”.

“Sinners” as in I would never do that, only really bad people do that, “Sinners” as in everyone else, not me. The weeds of sin convert us; change us in to something ugly.

We all need to weed our souls, cultivate our hearts and feed our minds.  We need to remove the weeds from our life, and give our soul what it really needs such as; going to mass, reading the bible and going to confession. Those are the fertilizers that keep the weeds out and nourish our faith.

So stop putting off what needs to be done, stop telling yourself it can wait, pick up a bible and start weeding out your soul.

Paul