frustration
Definition
frus·tra·tion
NOUN
1. dissatisfaction: a feeling of disappointment, exasperation, or weariness caused by goals being thwarted or desires unsatisfied
2. frustrating of somebody or something: an act or instance of causing somebody or something to be dissatisfied or unfulfilled
3. something that thwarts: something that blocks, thwarts, and upsets somebody all at the same time
“His lack of ambition was a frustration to his father.”
The feeling of frustration has come upon me, and has decided to stay for bit. This feeling has sat around for the past few weeks, not wanting to go anyplace at all. It it happy just sitting upon me and making me deal with it, and I , for one, am not to happy about it. In fact, its frustrating!
Trying to deal with work, defined as a place you go to daily, bang your head on the wall and return home. At least that has been the norm as of late. Dealing with the customer can be frustrating enough, but when your own company is placing road blocks in your way as well, well that just tips it over the top. Has hard as I try, it is hard to not take it home with me, causing me to be exhausted when I get home, and that hurts my personal life. I have not had the energy to workout, do the house work that needs to be done and as of late, even reading is a takes to me, not an enjoyment. That’s when I know it’s getting to me, reading is what I do, who I am, and when that takes a back seat, that’s when I know I need to do something. But what? What can I do about it? Were do I even start?
Here is my action plan, and a plan that you can use to help fight your frustrations
- Keep the Body active: exercise daily for at least 30 minutes. Walk the dog, go to the gym, ride a bike. Just do something, even when you just don’t feel like it, in fact that when you should do it, when you don’t feel like it, because that’s when you need it the most.
- Keep the Body healthy: eat right, if your like me, junk food fills the void, I tend to eat candy when I am frustrated, and this is a bad thing for several reason, the weight gain, the sugar buzz, and the over all feeling yucky after the binge. Avoid the bad and seek out the good. But do not deprive yourself the craving, eat one candy bar, not 20. Give your body what it craves, to satisfy it, try to find an alternative to the candy bar, see if an apple dipped in honey will work, or peanut butter and celery will satisfy.
- Keep the Soul healthy: Attend Church, meditate, commune with God, do something that will keep your soul active. Like any other part of you, you must exercise your soul, keep it active. So find activities that builds up your soul. The soul is a part of your well-being, a healthy and active soul is directly related to a healthy and active you.
- Keep the Mind active: Read, do cross words, go to an art museum, do something, anything, daily, to activate your mind, to fire a few new neurons make a few new connections and build a new memory. Spending 15 minutes each day reading and reflecting is a prescription for a healthy and active mind. We are made to learn to grow and to experience life with all our senses. Learn to stretch yourself, reach outside of your comfort zone and exercise your mind. If you normally read romance novels, pick up a historical novel or if you read only religious books, try a political book, force your mind to rethink its thinking. Its good exercise and a practice that will make you a more rounded individual. We have lost the “Renaissance Man” and its time to get him back.
- Keep your heart active: I’m not talking about working out again, that’s point number 1, nope this time I am talking about the poetic heart. Find something to love, a passion, be it a person, a pet or a cause, find your passion and pursue it. Now I’m not talking about stalking the girl down the block, I’m talking about passion. We are all created to be connected with others, be it in a social or personal manner. We need others to feel content, so we seek them out. Some find them at church or by joining clubs or volunteering at the local soup kitchen. Some find contentment in their children others in their spouse or significant others. Were ever it is, put your passion into it, reconnect to that passion, or discover new passions and pursue it with gusto, give it all you got.
The above 5 activates are activities we should be doing regardless of our frustration level. but it’s often helpful to be reminded of them when we are frustrated. I know that for me, just the act of writing tem has reminded me that I need to work on all five activities, that I have allowed them to sit in the back ground, but now I need to bring them to the forefront and concentrate on them and actively pursue them. The activities should not be grouped together, reading why you workout does not count as two activities. Don’t try to short change yourself, each activity must be given your full and undivided attention. It’s like buying a TV DVD combo, sure you save a little space, and maybe even a little money, but if the TV breaks, now your out both a DVD player and a TV. Separate is better…
Something to ponder….
Ecclesiastes 7:2-4 (NIV)
2 It is better to go to a house of mourning
than to go to a house of feasting,
for death is the destiny of everyone;
the living should take this to heart.
3 Frustration is better than laughter,
because a sad face is good for the heart.
4 The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning,
but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure.
“A sad face is good for the heart” hmmm, not sure about that, but I know that sometimes a little rain on one’s life must fall, and frustration is just that, a little rain. The sun will come out again, and if I took care of myself during the time of frustration, than when the sun comes, I will be wiser and healthier that before the rain fell upon my life.
God Bless & Happy Lent
Guided Insight Life Coach
42.303780
-83.378959
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12 Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. 13 “It is written,” he said to them, “‘My house will be called a house of prayer,’ but you are making it ‘a den of robbers.”
Matthew 21:11-13 (NIV)
Jesus showed a side of Himself not often portrayed in the bible accounts of His life, a justified anger. Yes, there is such a thing, and yes even Jesus got angry, as we just read. Jesus cleansed the Temple, overturned the tables and set the birds free. Does not sound like a “Jesus loves you just as you are” sort of guy. YES, I know Jesus LOVES YOU! That is not in question, but the idea or theology that goes something like this: Jesus Loves you just as you are, he asks nothing of you, you are fine just as you are… You know what I’m talking about. Well, that just wrong, and not biblical.
Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;
1 Corinthians 6:18-20 (NIV)
We are the Temple of the Lord, the new Temple instituted at that Last Supper when our Lord instituted the Eucharist. We partake His Body into out Temples, the new dwelling place of the Lord. Does the Holy Spirit reside in a den of robbers, or is it fit for the Holy Spirit? Have you overturned your life? Emptied it of the money changes or are you still allowing space with in your temple for them?
This is a hard question, one that causes us to stop and look within, and most of us would rather not look within, we find it much easer to look out and see the other people’s den of robbers.
41 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 42 How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
Luke 6:41-43 (NIV)
We are called to make our Temples fitting for the Lord, to provide a “New Wine Skin”
16 “No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment, for the patch will pull away from the garment, making the tear worse. 17 Neither do people pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst; the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved.”
Matthew 9:16-18 (NIV)
Our souls will rebel and pull away from the Lord, sin leads to tears and rips in the wine skin of our souls. The money changes of our life, anger, pride, envy and such, rob of us our ability to commune with the Lord. We need to enter into our temples and overturn the tables of anger, pride and envy, we need to set free the birds of sacrifice and offer up ourselves to the Lord. We need to allow the Lord to dwell within His temple, we need to make room in our souls/life for Him, we need to cleanse our Temples, and Lent offers us the opportunity to do this.
Lent is a time of fasting, of giving up the bad in exchange for the good and Holy.
The Catholic Church observes the discipline of fasting or abstinence at various times each year, especially during Lent. For Catholics, fasting is the reduction of one’s intake of food, which may or may not include abstinence from meat (or another type of food). The Catholic Church teaches that all people are obliged by God to perform some penance for their sins, and that these acts of penance are both personal and corporate. The purpose of fasting is spiritual focus, self discipline, imitation of Christ, and performing penance. (From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)
Fasting a way for us to overturn the tables within our Temples, it offers us the opportunity to purge our body/souls of unwanted toxins, sins. Fasting helps us remember what is truly important in our lives, what we can live without and more importantly, what we cannot live without, God. This Lent I offer up this idea, besides abstaining from meat on Fridays, offer up Wednesdays as a day of Fasting, eat only one small meal all day, no snacking, no grand 18 coarse meal at the end of the day to celebrate your fasting, just fast and tell no one, just offer it up.
“When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.
Matthew 6:15-17 (NIV)
Cleans your temple this Lent, make room for the risen Lord within your soul and rejoice in knowing you His Temple.
God Bless & Happy Lent
Paul Sposite
Guided Insight Life Coach
42.303780
-83.378959
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Were is your focus this Lent? On you or on Jesus. Lent is not about us, it is not about self-improvement, it is about Jesus, it’s about New Birth, it’s about New Life, it’s about New Perseverance and New Death.
New Birth
[ Praise to God for a Living Hope ] Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,
1 Peter 1:2-4
As a Christian we are a new creation, but more importantly as a Christian we believe that God became man and was born of woman into our humanity. His birth is the source of our New Birth. Because of a Childs Birth, we now have the opportunity to experience our Birth, our New Birth into Christ’s Church, into His Mystical Body.
Lent is a time for us to reflect upon the New Birth, a time to renew our own vigor and a time to dig deeper into our Birthright. With out the Birth of Christ, we would have no Resurrection, and without our New Birth into the Mystical Body, we would have no hope or joy, no resurrection of our own.
Now I’m not saying that we, like Christ, will rise from the dead, but we will, with Gods grace upon us, experience a sort of resurrection, one of a New life being born within us.
New Life
Though we are slaves, our God has not forsaken us in our bondage. He has shown us kindness in the sight of the kings of Persia: He has granted us new life to rebuild the house of our God and repair its ruins, and he has given us a wall of protection in Judah and Jerusalem.
Ezra 9:8-10
We are slaves, slaves of our flesh, slaves of our world and slaves of our sin. Yet we have been promised a New Life, a Life of Milk and Honey, a life of Love and Understanding. Yet we still suffer as Christians, we suffer because we are Christians, because we proclaim our Christianity to all. We suffer more for our convictions than we would if we would denounce or hide them. Or, so we think. Our suffering for the sake of Jesus is our joy, our suffering is our cross.
The Cross of Jesus is the symbol of His suffering and death for our sins, but it is so much more. The Cross is not a sign of defeat, of the end of Death, but a sign of Victory, of the New Life, the Resurrection, the Empty Tomb.The surging’s He suffered, the humiliation and abandonment he endured was not for his sake, but for ours. The Cross is the peace sign of the Christian movement, it is the battle cry of our army and the symbol of our nation. The Cross of Christ is our model, our example our map to the New Life.
Lent offers us the time to examine the Cross of Christ, to feel the wood grain and to touch the blood that drips and runs down its hued sided. Lent offers us the Cross not as a symbol but as a reality.
New Perseverance
Therefore, among God’s churches we boast about your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and trials you are enduring.
2 Thessalonians 1:3-5
We understand perseverance, most of us live it. The Church understands perseverance, she is live proof of it. But we only know of earthly perseverance, Jesus knew of Heavenly perseverance. A perseverance the He taught us on the night He was betrayed. He endured for us and triumphed over for us Death. His perseverance was paramount and divine in nature.
Lent offers us a time to experience perseverance of the Heavenly sort. All we need to do is ask our Heavenly Father for the Grace to preserver and to come through this Lenten session a New Creation. TO allow us to shun temptations and linger in the shadow of the Cross. Heavenly Perseverance is attainable for the asking.
New Death
Yet you sweep people away in the sleep of death— they are like the new grass of the morning:
Psalm 90:4-6
Death, for Christians, is not the end, in-fact, for Christians it is only the beginning. Yet our human nature, our fallen understandings define death as an end. Death, of the flesh is such a death, but death of the spirit, there is no such death, to a Christian. For Christ secured for us, upon that Cross, a New Death, a Death in to New Life. A glorious Death, a welcomed Death a Death of everlasting Life.
Look upon the Cross, see with in it the doorway to eternity. Look into the Cross and see beyond it into the glory of Heaven. The Master calling to his own, the Shepard retrieving His sheep. The Cross is our Doorway and the empty tomb is our passage way, Christ as laid out the plan, the road to eternity has been carved out of Calvary and He awaits our arrival.
Lent is a time to explore that road a little bit closer, a time to enter into the Death of our Lord a little deeper and a time to experience a New Death, a Death of the old ways, the way of Sin, a time to be born again, into Christ.
Focus
So, what is your focus for Lent, is it to stop eating candy or to start walking the road to Calvary?
God Bless & Happy Lent
Paul Sposite
42.303780
-83.378959
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First Point
I, like many, was sadden to hear about Whitney Houston’s death. Death, of anyone, is always a tragic and sad moment, Life that has ended always leaves someone sad, even the murder has loved ones. Yes, I am a child of the 80’s, I graduated in ‘84, so the soundtrack to my teenage years was the 80’s. I remember seeing Whitney in “The Body Guard” and hearing “I will always love you” and thinking, what a great and powerful song. That is my favorite song of hers. The power and depth touched me, and it still does. I remember thinking what a mistake it was when she married Bobby Brown and thinking how sad it was when she admitted she was a crack user. What a tragic waste of life, and in the end, it was. So yes, I was saddened, but I was not shocked.
Second Point
I knew, once I heard the news reports, that the eulogies would start, the road to sainthood would be paved and Whitney, by some, would become a symbol of perfection. I listened to people, fans or just happen to be standing their, state there professed love for her, I listened to them talk of her as if she was perfection. I listen to then shaking my head in wonderment and asking myself “How can they sit there and talk about her as if she had nothing to do with her own death.” Whitney had a problem, she was a drug user, she use to be a crack addict, as far as we know she was not using it anymore. But years of abuse has its residual effects on the body. We do know she was found with prescription drugs and alcohol in her system. But as of this posting, we do not know if that was the cause of her death. And I will not even venture to guess, to me that is as wrong as all who make her out to be a saint. Whitney is dead, this much we know, Whitney was, and possible was at the time of her death, a drug user and Whitney was a talent that we only see every so often on this earth.
Third Point
As the news unfolded, and more stars had the opportunity to make sure there voice and face was seen and heard on TV over Whitney’s death, I heard more than once, “Whitney is in heaven now”… This statement, as well-meaning as it is, has always bothered me. As a Catholic, I do not believe we know the fait of anyone, not even ourselves. As a Catholic I do not believe that we know the heart of anyone, so I do not know what was in Whitney’s heart at the time of her death, so I do not know if she was in the good Graces of God or not. Only Whitney and God know that. So for me, a humble, fallen, Human to state that anyone is in heaven is very presumptions. As a Catholic, I do not believe in the once saved always saved theology. to me that just opens the door to , I can do as I please, because I am saved. As a Catholic, if I had to venture a guess as to Whitney’s current state, it would have to be that she, if God wills it, is in Purgatory, not heaven. Where she can purify herself and make ready for the glory that is heaven. Do I know this, absolutely not, do I pray for this for he, absolutely.
Fourth Point
Whitney was a mother, a sister and a daughter, she was loved as such. But she was also a talented singer and entertainer who has millions of fans. But like all of us, she was lost and searching, she was a fallen creation, searching for Gods love and compassion. And sadly she turned to drugs to find it. We all have faults, none of us are perfect. I do not know if Whitney is in Heaven or Hell, but this I do know. To deny the existence of Hell is dangerous, and to deny. The Evil One exist and he greatest lie is this, “Hell does not exist”. I do not know what has become of Whitney’s soul, nor would I venture to guess. But this I do know, only God and Whitney know if she is at peace or not.
God Bless
Paul Sposite
42.303780
-83.378959
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Change is an important part of our lives, its something we need to be doing, constantly. The act of standing still is the act of slowly dyeing. We are made to be active, to be on the move, at all times. It is in our DMA. And by being active I not only mean physically, but also mentally, emotionally and spiritually. We are naturally in a state of constant motion, our cells are bombarding each other, splitting and creating new from old, we breath in and out and blink our eyes with out giving it a second thought. On the molecular level, change is a constant, and the cognitive level we are always learning, growing and becoming anew. Yet for some reason we all seem to fear change, we seem to look upon change as something bad and harmful…
Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.
~Tolstoy
Change has to start with you… This past Sunday at Mass my priest said the following:
“To put the world in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order; we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right.”
― Confucius
That right, the Catholic priest quotes Confucius, because Confucius understood that change starts with you… We must change, we must continue to grow and to become… To become what ever it is that God intends us to be. We most start with self, and we cannot change unless we remove the negative from our life.
TOP 10 on how to change your behavior from negative to positive:
Stop worrying about what others get but be grateful of what you got! For example, after your yearly review, you and John Doe (the person that drives you nuts everyday) have the same rating, but your employer gives John a $5000 raise and you only got $3000. Be grateful for John and yourself for both getting a raise. Don’t compare what you got versus what John got, because bottom line it is not your money to begin with but your employer’s money…and he can do with it as he pleases. Be grateful for what you got!
Change your vocabulary! Many people do not even realize that they are negative. They use words and phrases on a daily basis that are negatively impacting their surroundings. Stay away from negative words such as "can’t" and "won’t" and instead rephrase and replace with "can" and "will"! Swearing is also very negative…and it actually shows others your lack of education…so stop that right away!
Change your tone of voice. A tone is very important when speaking. Always try to "up-end" as oppose to "down-end" your tone. Try it with "can I do that for you" to get the just of it.
Watch your body language. Body language is another way to easily be negative. I don’t mean using the ever popular middle finger either! Take a look at your shoulders…are they up and strong or down and droopy? Is your head high and proud or down and looking at the floor? Do you look into the other person’s eyes when speaking or always look away? These are some obvious signs of negativity. Stand strong and be confident, this will automatically bring you a positive vibe!
Coach yourself. No one is perfect, so the most important thing you can do is to coach yourself. After a conversation or event that you feel was negative, replay it in your head. Write down some of your "negative" behaviors or the ones that you noticed in you or others). Then rewrite them to focus on the positive. By doing this "writing" exercise, your brain will automatically start to change and you will improve day after day.
The quarter exercise. At the beginning of each day, take 8 (you can start with 2 and slowly move up to 8) quarters and put them in your pockets (as lose change that drives you crazy). The goal is to give out a positive comment to someone or use a positive gesture of some sort. Each time this is accomplish, remove one quarter. By the end of the day, your pockets need to be empty (and not because you bought a chocolate bar with the money, but because you had eight positive reinforcement)!
Speak out. If you are experiencing someone being negative, don’t just stand there and absorb it. Tell the person how they make you feel and how you are tying to change. Two things can happen, they will question you and follow you in this change or they will not hang around you any longer. If the later happens, then stay positive by inviting them for a coffee and explaining your reasoning. Offer help. If this doesn’t work, then you know that this person was not meant to be around you in the first place. Now start looking for other positive thinkers like you to hang with!
Forgive. One of the hardest things for humans to do is forgive others. Let me assure you that letting go and forgiving is a life saving event! Write down a list of the people that need forgiving and the reasons and reach out to them to forgive them. Do not discuss or dwell on the reason why there needed to be forgiving involved in the first place, just say "you know, I forgive and forget and just want to move on with our relationship. Let’s not talk about it and just accept that we are both forgiving today".
No blaming. This one is easy (yah right). When you start blaming…stop pointing the finger to the other party and turn it towards you. Focus on what YOU can do to change the situation from negative into positive. Then, act on these actions!
Act. Don’t just act positive but live positively! Surround yourself with everything and anything positive…you will see, it’s a much better quality of life!
(Full Article here)
The above was not written by me, but is good advice. And just for good measure one more quote from Confucius….
“Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.”
― Confucius
Change is good, but change is hard… Just remember that we, by nature are always in a constant state of change, so to be truly in harmony with ourselves, we to must be in a constant state of change. Change is good…
God Bless
Paul
Guided Insight Life Coach
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Work in progress from my talk I am to give in August…
————-Start of topic—————————-
The second priority is priority of self; this may seem to contradict the first priority of humility. You are asked to humble yourself, yet priority two seems to ask you to exult yourself. Yet nothing could be further from the truth. Faith in self is not an inflated ego, rather it is the opposite, it is a silent faith, a faith that speaks softly yet reverberates with a silent scream of “I am confident” “I am secure” and “I am me!”.
The first priority asks you to abandon the ego and become humble and promised a return on your investment, The second priority is your ROI (Return on investment).
The priority of Faith in Self is an investment in the ones you love and others around you. However, like any other investment one must make a deposit, and manage the account. The same is true for the investment in self. The term Faith, meaning oath or obligation, takes on a new dimension when it is placed with the term Self, so Faith in Self can be translated as Self Oath or Self Obligation. We must place with ourselves an oath or obligation.
Respect for self-dictates that we will provide for ourselves the things necessary in our lives to help us nurture and grow.
· Body
· Brain / Mind / Intelligence
· Character
· Experience
· Gender
· Human
· Human condition
· Identity
· Person
· Personality
· Skill
· Virtue
· Wisdom
The areas listed above represent the self, and the areas of care. We are obligated, if we are following the 7 Priorities, to care for each area. Each area represents on portion of the self, individually they are minor aspects of self, yet combined together they have the ability to create greatness.
For example, a person who is extremely wise is said to have wisdom, but on its own, without a positive personality, that person is less than the whole of the self. We are the totality of our existence, yet all too often, we neglect aspects of our self in favor of other aspects creating an imbalance within.
For example, we may take care of our body’s by working our daily, eating the right foods and seeing the doctor on regular bases. That would meet the condition of, Body and possible a few others. We all know they type, they workout in the gym daily, they have the fit and trim look, the perfect teeth and hair, yet when we talk to them we realize that they never truly graduated from the 3rd grade. Yes, I know I am being stereotypical, but the point is valid. I could have easily used the classic nerd example as well, regardless of that, the point is true. Be it the weight lifter or the nerd, each has neglected the other aspects of self.
The whole of self is not each individual aspect, but the combining of the aspects into one complete self. Sure, not all of us will achieve perfection in each or any of the aspects, and we are not expected too, but we are expected to set achievable goals and to work on achieving them.
self
/sɛlf / [self] noun, plural selves, adjective, pronoun, plural selves, verb
–noun
1. a person or thing referred to with respect to complete individuality: one’s own self.
2. a person’s nature, character, etc.: his better self.
3. personal interest.
4. Philosophy .
a. the ego; that which knows, remembers, desires, suffers, etc., as contrasted with that known, remembered, etc.
b. the uniting principle, as a soul, underlying all subjective experience.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/self
——–End of topic——
I hope you are enjoying the little excerpt I am posting, I know I am enjoying writing this talk…
God Bless
Paul
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I just spent the last thirty minutes or so reading a blog site that I use to read daily. It’s a site that a former friend of mine writes. And after spending time reading her latest post, I know remember why we are former friends. The self absorbedness of her blogs is dripping in self sorrow and well, just a me, me, me attitude. Now that is not to say all her postings are, some are purely scripture based, yet even they seem to have a little “its all about me” in them.
This could just be my take on it all, this could be just my own reading of her postings, but I don’t think so. I think they are exactly what I say they are, postings of self sorrow and selfishness. The EGO (edging God out) is a very strong feeling I get when I read them. Once again, it may just be me, it may be me placing on them, or better yet, reading in to them, the feeling I hold towards her. Like I did say, reading them did remind me why we are no-longer friends.
But they also reminded me that I must true to myself and to my God, and as of late I have not been. I have been living a life of lies and sin, and I need to make a correction, and soon. Over the past few months I have not attend Mass, I just haven’t “felt” it. I don’t know why, but I just haven’t. In fact I haven’t even read any spiritual books and the weekly Catholic newspaper I get, and truly enjoys mostly goes unread. I am in a dark place when it comes to my faith, and I have known it for sometime, yet I choose to do nothing. Now I could blame the Church, the Priest or even my former friend for my despair and darkness. But I know they have no control over me, unless I allow them to.
- How can I blame the Church, well look at Her, she is currently a mess, the sex scandals, the miss use of power and the over all liberal take on the Holy Mass. Yet I know in my heart of hearts that all that is not the Church, that is just mans miss handling of the Church hear on earth.
- The Priest, well my last parish the priest was liberal and basically “retired”. He allowed the office manager take total control of the parish, and that resulted in her assuming power over all, and miss using that power to benefit her own agenda, not the agenda of the parish. She was one of the main reasons I left that parish and ended my ministry. But once again, I understand that the Priest is not the Church nor is the office manager, that Christ is the head and we all are parts of the body that makes up the visible Church hear on earth.
- My former friend, well it was her ability to make everything about her, the demands that were placed on me and the false friendship she offered me. She was my “boss” at the parish I ministered at, she was the religious Education Director, and so I thought my friend. But as I found out, she was a self serving liberal who wanted the church to change for her, and not her to change for the Church. She wanted me to be he savior, her everything, yet truly give nothing back in return. But once again I know that she is not the Church, nor does she have control over me.
Nope none of the above “reasons” and “reasons” to abandon the Church, to miss Mass or anything else. They are, at best, excuses. Yes, they all can affect how I choose to react, but in the end it is of my choosing, not theirs. So why have I chosen to abandon my faith, not that I stopped believing God, or even the Catholic Church, because I do, with all my heart and soul. Yet I choose to not partake in the Holy Mass, to partake in the Eucharist, the Body and Blood of my savior. Why?
That is my sin, that is my dilemma, so reading her blog has reminded me that I must look at myself, not others, to find the bark places in my soul that allow me to sin. It is no ones fault but mine. I am the one who is choosing to miss Mass, to sin in my life, choosing to stop feeling my soul. It is I who chooses to pick up a political magazine over the Catholic Newspaper, It is I who chooses to sit and drink coffee on Sunday mornings and not attend Mass. But why? What has changed in me that I choose this path over the others that I could walk?
I can not answer any of these question at this moment, but I do know that I need to receive the blessings of reconciliation, and I need to do a lot of soul searching. I know that God has the answers for me, I just need to learn to listen. So yes, reading her self loathing blogs did do me some good, they directed me back to my self, they reminded me that I am in control of my life, no one else, and that I must look at my own self before I look at others. So it was a well spent thirty minutes.
God Bless
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Yesterday at after our Easter dinner the discussion of the different Parishes that we attend came up and the different practices at each.
The Parish I now attend kneels after the reception of Communion until the priest is finished cleaning the vessels and is seated himself. The Parish my friend attends Stands during Communion and is seated once the Holy Communion is placed in the Tabernacle.
The the debate went on about what was correct. Below is the passage from the GIRM.
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Standing after the Agnus Dei and Communion
Agnus Dei. The General Instruction of the Roman Missal (GIRM) states that the people stand from the end of the Offertory until the end of Mass, except that they kneel down during the Consecration. In the U.S. the approved adaptation is to kneel for the entire Eucharistic Prayer and after the Agnus Dei.
43 … In the dioceses of the United States of America, they should kneel beginning after the singing or recitation of the Sanctus until after the Amen of the Eucharistic Prayer, except when prevented on occasion by reasons of health, lack of space, the large number of people present, or some other good reason.. Those who do not kneel ought to make a profound bow when the priest genuflects after the consecration. The faithful kneel after the Agnus Dei unless the Diocesan Bishop determines otherwise.
After Communion. In 1974 Rome gave an official interpretation of the rubrics on the period after Communion, which makes the posture an option. It states,
After communion they may either kneel, stand, or sit. Accordingly the GIRM no. 21 gives this rule: "The people sit. . .if this seems useful during the period of silence after communion." Thus it is a matter of option, not obligation. The GIRM no. 121, should, therefore, be interpreted to match no. 21: Notitiae 10 (1974) 407.
The new GIRM states,
- 43… They should sit during the readings before the gospel and during the responsorial psalm, for the homily and the preparation of the gifts, and, if this seems helpful, they may sit or kneel during the period of religious silence after communion.
However, some of the faithful complain that hey are being required to stand at their place after getting back from Communion. A response which Bishop Fabian Bruskewitz of Lincoln, Nebraska, received from Rome appears to clarify that point.
Query: Is it the case that the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments, by no. 43 of the Institutio Generalis Missalis Romani, [the new 2000 GIRM] intends to prohibit the faithful from kneeling after the Agnus Dei and following reception of Communion?
Response: Negative. [Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments, Prot. 2372/00/L, 7 November 2000]
This debate is all to common in today’s Catholic world. We have Parishes deciding for themselves what is and is not expectable, creating disconnects between parishes that are only miles apart. If the argument of “Unity in prayer” can be used to defend all standing after reception of communion (as was used by my friend), than that very same argument can be used for all knelling after reception.
To me it comes down to respect. We have just received the greatest gift anyone can
receive, the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of our Blessed Lord, Jesus the Christ! To show reverence by kneeling is a simple task and to me a very privet moment between me and my Savior.
I was told about a radio or TV minister that made the comment that if Catholics truly believed that Jesus was TRULY present in the sacrament of Communion we would crawl on our stomachs to get there. AMEN! It is God we are receiving, the one true God made man in the flesh of Jesus. Is it to much to ask that we show a tad bit of reverence, just a little respect? I think not.
Now I am not stating that people or parishes that stand after the reception of Communion are not showing respect. I am sure many are. But our actions are outward displays of our thought. So I ask you, are we standing because we just received the TRUE Jesus in Communion or are we stating to show unity with others? To me, and to what I have been told, we stand as a sign of unity with others. Hmmm, what about the unity we just made with Jesus in the sacrament of Holy Communion? What about the fact that we have Jesus in us like no other time, what about the fact that we have been united to our savior in a way that non-Catholics can even dream of being! We have just taken the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of our Blessed Lord in to ourselves. We have just united our being with His glorious being in a way that we could not were in not for this sacrament that Jesus established.
To me, to stand shows a sign of disrespect, and I felt that way at every Parish I ever attended that stood after the reception of our Blessed Lord. I followed the community and stood, because I also think it is disrespectful to act contrary to the community, but in my heart I was kneeling.
Standing after the reception of communion, like so many other acts of reverence were removed in the name of Vatican II. People, most with good intentions, used this document to remove all signs of reverence from the Holy Mass and prayer and turned it into one large group hug. Like the bible passage states,
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven (Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV)
There is a time for group hugs and a time of reverence. It seems that reverence, for some, is code word for pre Vatican II and must be eliminated. It is almost a sickness that consumes the Church like a cancer. A cancer that will spread and destroy any semblance of the Holy Roman Catholic Church if we do no
t start to get it under control.
All is not bleak nor lost, for Jesus told us:
And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. (Matthew 16:18 NIV)
So take heart and hold strong.
God Bless
Paul
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People’s body language communicates how they are reacting to you and your spoken messages. For a more accurate interpretation of their moods, look for "clusters" of the behaviors associated with the different emotional states.
Emotional Mode
People in this emotional state may:
reflective
- occasionally nod to indicate comprehension
- move the eyes laterally sideways occasionally to indicate thought processing
- align the body directly with yours or at a small angular distance
- have small pupils, digesting info
- keep direct eye contact
- lower the brows slightly in thought or evaluation
- sit or stand passively with minimum movement
- rest the chin on the hand
- lean back with an open position
- blink at the normal rate of 20 closures per minute
responsive
- lean forward with an open position
- curl mouth upward at the corners, in a relaxed fashion
- sit or stand in an open and relaxed posture
- palms up
- smile
- align body directly
- nod the head
- keep eye contact
- have the palms open
- tilt the head to the side to indicate friendliness
- mirror your body language
- blink faster indicating psychological excitement
defensive
- lean back with a closed position such as arms or legs crossed
- hold arms tight against the body, indicating nervousness or anxiety; if they are less tight with the elbows elevated and projecting outward it signals arrogance, dislike or disagreement
- show visible signs of gulping
- bend head and trunk forward as if bowing, showing submissiveness
- bend spinal column away from another person as a sign of disagreement, dislike or shyness.
- bend away generally, indicating negative feelings
- avoid gaze
- tilt head to side or forward indicating submissiveness
combative
- show an open posture
- be erect or lean forward
- tense the jaw in anger
- frown
- tense the mouth
- hold hand behind head
- make a fist
- make beating gestures with palm down
- place hands on hips
- flare nostrils
- bring head forward and stick chin out
- tilt head back
Interpreting Emotional Modes
SkillSoft Corporation; SkillSoft Learning Aid Series; Copyright 2008.
All brand or product names and their content mentioned in this product are the property, trademark, service mark, or registered trademark of their respective holders.
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The above information was from an online class I took for Communication skills. I found the information useful and wished to share it with everyone.
Paul
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Tags: arrogance, Body, chin, closures, column, comprehension, disagreement, Emotional, evaluation, excitement, feelings, info, interpretation, language, messages, Mode, moods, movement, palms, people, person, posture, pupils, signs, trunk
Reaching across the aisle is a political term, but maybe we need to start using that term in church. My friend and I have a conversation last night concerning “liberal” and “conservative” Catholics. This conversation is an ongoing one; we have it at least once a week, but more often than not its 4 or 5 days a week. We both love to give little digs concerning the others point of view. Mostly it’s joking around, but not always. I can become quite passionate about my point of view, as you read in an earlier blog concerning the teachers strike, that conversation ended on a bad note. But passion is not a bad thing, so I will stick with it; I just need to learn to temper it sometimes, but back to my theme, reaching across the aisle.
The Church, like any other human run organization is made up of people, many people with many 
different backgrounds and ideals. And that is one of the Churches beauties. It is also one of the Churches failings. Humanity has a way of corrupting all it touches, and the Church is no different.
We have many great people that have come from the Church, some liberal and some conservative. They all were doing God’s work in one fashion or another. God has a way of using people that most would not even consider to use, Joan of Arc or St. Francis, two people God had chosen to do his will. At the time no one would have picked either one to represent themselves, let alone God. But God knows better than you or I.
So looking at the current make up of the Church, I see both good and bad form the liberals and conservatives. Each side offering up what they see as needed to bring the Church closer to God, to try and create a heaven here on earth. The intentions are pure and the actions are done in the name of God. I would not presume that anyone is willingly trying to bring downs Gods church here on earth.
Some will call me silly for such a statement; they will assure me that there are evil doers working within the Church. And I am sure they are correct, but I try to find the goodness in all, I look for the silver lining or the hand of God in each situation. So there may be evil doers in the Church, but I trust that God will use their actions of evil for the betterment of the Church.
I trust in Jesus, as our head, to protect the body of the Church here on earth, to preserve her until the New Jerusalem comes and the new Heaven is open to us all.
Jesus reached across the aisle with his ministry, he opened up his heart to all, but he also called us then to task, Jesus was a liberal and conservative, Jesus saw the need for both compassion and rules, the need for free thinking and for controlled thought. Jesus understood that we, as Humans are frail and easily lead astray. That our good intentions for the Church, may in fact be only selfish needs for ourselves. Jesus understood that we may think we are working for the betterment of the Church, when we are really removing the cornerstone on which she stands.
Be us liberals or Conservatives, we need to learn to reach out to each other, to embrace the beauty that is our common faith and learn to discern the true meaning of our faith.
Each new generation offers us new hope, each new idea is an opportunity to expand our understanding and each faithful person graces us with the presence of God, in his earth home, the Catholic Church.
Paul
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Tags: Body, Catholic, christ, church, consevative, Earth, embrace, Jesus, liberal, love, one body
