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My Detroit


Augustus Woodward's plan following the 1805 fi...

Augustus Woodward’s plan following the 1805 fire for Detroit’s baroque styled radial avenues and Grand Circus. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’m a Detroiter, I was born in the city, and I love the city. I no longer live in Detroit, I now live about 30 minutes outside of the city, but still consider myself a Detroiter. It pains me to hear negative news stories of Detroit, but it seems that’s all we ever hear. Murder, Rape, miss use of Government powers, Kids killing Kids, Drugs and other horrid actions. It saddens me when I do venture to the City to see all the majestic buildings and homes is shambles to see the empty lots filled with trash and the parks and streets empty of life.

Detroit is a shell of its former self, many do not know the true Detroit, they only know the current Detroit. The one that is on a path to self destruction, the one that fills the national news with murder and deception. Detroit is more than that, Detroit has 300 years of history, of pride and accomplishments. No, not just Cars and Motown, but Art and Architecture, Culture and Innovation. Detroit is a city of many first, The first expressway, phone book and more. Detroit is not what you think she is, she is a diamond in the ruff.

Detroit…

• is home to the Motown sound founded by Berry Gordy Jr. in 1957

• is home to the first Van Gogh painting in a public collection in the U.S. at the Detroit Institute of Arts, "Self Portrait," Vincent Van Gogh, 1887

• installed the first mile of paved concrete road, just north of the Model T plant, on Woodward Avenue between McNichols and 7 Mile Roads in 1909

• built the nation’s first urban freeway, the Davison, in 1942

• is home to the oldest state fair in the nation — the Michigan State Fair, first held in 1849

• is the potato chip capital of the world, based on consumption

• has country’s largest island park within a city — Belle Isle Park

• is home to the world’s only floating post office, the J.W. Westcott II, can be found on the Detroit River

• is north of Canada

• is second in the nation in fishing rod sales

• shares the world’s first auto traffic tunnel between two nations – the Detroit/Windsor Tunnel

• is home to the tallest hotel in the Western Hemisphere – the Detroit Marriott Renaissance Center, at 727 feet/73 stories

• the nation’s first soda — Vernors — created in Detroit by pharmacist James Vernor in 1862. Detroit is also home to Sanders hot fudge, Better Made Potato Chips, Faygo soda pop, Stroh’s Ice Cream

• has the most registered bowlers in the United States

• was the first city in the nation to assign individual telephone numbers in 1879

History of Detroit

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Ste. Anne de Détroit, founded in 1701 is the second oldest continuously operating Roman Catholic parish in the United States. The present Gothic Revival cathedral styled church was completed in 1887 and serves a largely Hispanic community.[1][2]

The city of Detroit, Michigan, developed from a French fort and missionary outpost founded in 1701 to one of the largest American cities by the early 20th century. As reflected by the emblems on its flag, Detroit has been governed by three world powers: France, Great Britain, and the United States. The city, settled in 1701, is one of the oldest cities in the Midwest. Detroit experienced a large scale fire in 1805 which nearly destroyed the city. After the fire, Justice Augustus B. Woodward devised a plan similar to Pierre Charles L’Enfant‘s design for Washington, D.C. Detroit‘s monumental avenues and traffic circles fan out in a baroque styled radial fashion from Grand Circus Park in the heart of the city’s theater district, which facilitates traffic patterns along the city’s tree-lined boulevards and parks.[3] Main thoroughfares radiate outward from the city center like spokes in a wheel.

During the 19th century, Detroit grew into a thriving hub of commerce and industry, the city spread along Jefferson Avenue, with multiple manufacturing firms taking advantage of the transportation resources afforded by the river and a parallel rail line. Beginning in the late 19th and early 20th century, many of the city’s Gilded Age mansions and buildings arose. Detroit was referred to as the Paris of the West for its architecture, and for Washington Boulevard, recently electrified by Thomas Edison.[1]

Following World War II, the Detroit area emerged as a global business center with the metropolitan area becoming one of the largest in the United States. The Detroit area is the second largest U.S. metropolitan area linking the Great Lakes system. Immigrants and migrants have contributed significantly to Detroit’s economy and culture. In the 1990s and the new millennium, the city has experienced increased revitalization. Many areas of the city are listed in the National Register of Historic Places and include National Historic Landmarks.

Beginnings

The first recorded mention of what became Detroit was in 1670, when the French Sulpician missionaries François Dollier de Casson and René Bréhant de Galinée stopped at the site on their way to the mission at Sault Ste. Marie.[4] Galínee’s journal notes that near the site of present-day Detroit, they found a stone idol venerated by the Indians and destroyed the idol with an axe and dropped the pieces into the river. Early French settlers planted twelve missionary pear trees "named for the twelve Apostles" on the grounds of what is now Waterworks Park.[5]

Statue of French officer Antoine de la Mothe Cadillac commemorating his 1701 landing along the Detroit River.

Siege of Fort Detroit during Pontiac’s Rebellion in 1763.

The British surrender, following the American Siege of Detroit during the War of 1812.

The city name comes from the Detroit River (French: le détroit du Lac Érie), meaning the strait of Lake Erie, linking Lake Huron and Lake Erie; in the historical context, the strait included Lake St. Clair and the St. Clair River.[6] Traveling up the Detroit River on the ship Le Griffon (owned by La Salle), Father Louis Hennepin noted the north bank of the river as an ideal location for a settlement. There, in 1701, the French officer Antoine de la Mothe Cadillac, along with fifty-one additional French-Canadians, founded a settlement called Fort Ponchartrain du Détroit, naming it after the comte de Pontchartrain, Minister of Marine under Louis XIV. Ste. Anne de Détroit, founded July 26, 1701, is the second oldest continuously operating Roman Catholic parish in the United States and the church was the first building erected at Fort Ponchartrain du Détroit.[1][2][7][8]

France offered free land to attract families to Detroit, which grew to 800 people in 1765, the largest city between Montreal and New Orleans.[9] Francois Marie Picoté, sieur de Belestre (Montreal 1719–1793) was the last French military commander at Fort Detroit (1758–1760), surrendering the fort on November 29, 1760 to British Major Robert Rogers (of Rogers’ Rangers fame and sponsor of the Jonathan Carver expedition to St. Anthony Falls). The British gained control of the area in 1760 and were thwarted by an Indian attack three years later during Pontiac’s Rebellion. The region’s fur trade was an important economic activity. Detroit’s city flag reflects this French heritage. (See Flag of Detroit).[1]

The City of Detroit (from Canada Shore), 1872, by A. C. Warren

During the French and Indian War (1760), British troops gained control and shortened the name to Detroit. Several tribes led by Chief Pontiac, an Ottawa leader, launched Pontiac’s Rebellion (1763), including a siege of Fort Detroit. Partially in response to this, the British Royal Proclamation of 1763 included restrictions on white settlement in unceded Indian territories. Detroit passed to the United States under the Jay Treaty (1796). In 1805, fire destroyed most of the settlement. A river warehouse and brick chimneys of the wooden homes were the sole structures to survive.[10]

Father Gabriel Richard arrived at Ste. Anne’s in 1796. While the local priest, he helped start the school which evolved into the University of Michigan, started primary schools for white boys and girls as well as for Indians, as a territorial representative to U.S. Congress helped establish a road-building project that connected Detroit and Chicago, and brought the first printing press to Michigan which printed the first Michigan newspaper. After his death in 1832, Richard was interred under the altar of Ste. Anne’s.[1][2]

Detroit was the goal of various American campaigns during the American Revolution, but logistical difficulties in the North American frontier and American Indian allies of Great Britain would keep any armed rebel force from reaching the Detroit area. In the Treaty of Paris (1783), Great Britain ceded territory that included Detroit to the newly recognized United States, though in reality it remained under British control. Great Britain continued to trade with and defend her native allies in the area, and supplied local nations with weapons to harass American settlers and soldiers.

In 1794, a Native American alliance, that had received some support and encouragement from the British, was decisively defeated by General Anthony Wayne at the Battle of Fallen Timbers. Wayne negotiated the Treaty of Greenville (1795) with many of these nations, in which tribes ceded the area of Fort Detroit to the United States. Detroit passed to the United States under the Jay Treaty (1796). Great Britain agreed to evacuate forts held in the United States’ Northwest Territory. In 1805, a fire destroyed most of the settlement. A river warehouse and brick chimneys of the wooden homes were the sole remains of the structures.[10] Detroit’s motto and seal (as on the Flag) reflect this fire.

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

 

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Posted by on May 3, 2012 in History, Just for Fun, Michigan

 

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Doctor Death is dead…


Dr. Jack Kevorkian's cropped image

Image via Wikipedia

Over the weekend we had a death of a celebrity in the Detroit area. He is well known through out the country, and I am sure, the world. Dr. Jack Kevorkian, or Doctor Death, as he is known. Although the death of anyone is sad, the loss of human life is always sad, I am not sure I can gander-up any real emotions for the man. Sure, I know he had friends who are sad, and family, but for me, well… I just can’t seem to feel one way or the other. (read here)

On the local news the mood was somber, at best. The accolades were for an important diplomat or humanitarian. Sure, sure, I know, some consider Doctor Death to be a humanitarian, I for one do not. He killed people, plain and simple! I mean no disrespect, and I pray to God to have mercy on his soul. But the fact is, he killed, he was a killer.

As a pro-life conservative Catholic, abortion and euthanasia are one in the same, it is the taking of human life before its natural time. God can only create and take life.  Sure, we humans help out all the time, wars, murder, drugs and all the rest. But the natural end of life is up to God, not Doctor Death, or anyone else.

Yes it is hard to watch someone suffer, I know, I have watched both of my parents suffer until they passed on, but that is part of life. I would not change a thing about it, at each of there bedsides I learned life lessons that I would not have gained anywhere else. Lessons that have helped to shape me into the man I currently am. Sure, I wish they never had cancer, and sure I wish they never suffered. But wishes are only for the fool hearted. I prayed that they did not suffer, but if they had to, that it was all for the glory of God. And in the end, well, in the end they suffered little, and I was granted a miracle. I was able to experience the power and glory of the Holy Spirit at work, both in me and my parents. If they would have taken the easy way out, used Doctor death, they would have never and I would have never had the opportunity to experience God in that moment.

I know some will say that that’s just my imagination at work, trying to deal with a difficult time in my life. Maybe, but I think not. But I do know that I was never closer to my parents than at the time of there suffering, seeing the resolve to not show it, the ever present parenting they held on to. The need to protect us, there children, from the suffering they were dealing with. Never once did they complained or show outward signs that they were in pain. Instead they were smiling and telling jokes until the end. I am thankful for this, and I am blessed. My memories of them will always be  one of fighters and happy. Doctor Jack could never offer me or my parents that.

So Doctor Jack is dead… I hope his family and friends have memories of his last few days that are filled with the grace of God… I know I d0…

God Bless

Paul

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Holding my Breath


Confusion_by_twilibird

Just some update to a few post in the past…

I did a few post titled “Drama Part….”, they were post dealing with a young man whom I took into my home. His Mother (using the term lightly) and him did not get along, he was in juvenile detention for 6 weeks or so for a domestic “dispute” with his mother, and when he got out he asked me if he could move in. I said yes and the dram started.

I had to go to court to get guardianship over him, originally his mother agreed to this, but as things moved on (read older post for more detail) this changed. She basically abandoned him, causing more hardship and court. But as it happened I gained stated ordered guardianship over him. In January of this year his probation was lifted, and things went down hill….

To tell the truth, even before his probation was lifted, it was an up hill battle, but one I thought he was willing to fight and win. He has anger and authority issues. He is of the mind set that sex is the path to manhood and “doing as you please” is a sign of adulthood. This mix was not, as you probably know, conducive to a positive life style, nor one that I allow in my house. As it turns out, he also did not like my rules, but seemed to deal with them as long as he had to, meaning until he was off probation.

The real issues started when I discovered his current “girl friend” was 14 at the time he started to “date” her. He is 17, and will be 18 soon. She turned 15, but that does not change the facts that she is under age and that he has a tendency to sleep with whom ever he dates.  When I finally told him, after weeks of trying to convince him, that he can not date her, see her or talk to her, he decided it was time to run… And run he did.

Shortly after he ran away, I received my cell phone bill… Shock is not a strong enough word for what I felt when I saw the total due…. He managed, in less than 30 days of usage, to ring up a $150.00 bill, all over usage rates! I was not pleased. A few weeks after he ran away he called me to ask what the $150.00 on the front of his folder containing all his papers (SS card, Insurance and such) was about. When I told him it was his phone bill… His adult response “Your my guardian, you pay it”… Pay it I did, and as for him, he is, last I heard, living with his mother, missing tons of school and delving back into the life he stated he wanted to leave behind, until he found out it took lots of work…. Sad, he has good in him, but I can not force him to choose good, I can only offer the support and structure, I did, and he rejected it. God willing he will learn it all on his own, but I will not hold my breath for that to happen anytime soon.

 

The second update also deals with one of my boys. I have also written about in in other post. His Father, once again using the term lightly, has also basically abounded him because he did not make the top 20 of his graduation class. Or at leas that was the latest reason given. I previous postings I talked about how he needed his dad to sign stating he was not going to help his son pay for schooling. His dad, being the great dad that he is, refused to even sigh stating he would not sign… We got through that, and he went to school. Now the new issue, same results. He got a scholarship for a full ride at a community college in the Chicago area. He was very excites, and I was a proud parent… But the one parent who could help him see this opportunity come too was his dad. He had money for schooling but not rent, gas, food, etc.… Yes he can and would work, but with soccer practice and games, he would not be able to work a lot of hours. So he wrote to his dad, asking if he would please sigh for his loans.. The response.. No!

So now I have a broken hearted young man, who only wants the respect and acceptance of his father but only gets No’s. I can only do so much, and I do what I can, but I am not his father, he does not seek my love and acceptance, he knows he has it from me.

Not sure how I get all the youth with parent issues, but I do. God must have a plan for me and the youth that end up living at my house. I just pray that in the end I did all I could to help them become productive, happy and healthy adults. God willing… But I don’t hold my breath. I know I am flawed and make mistakes dealing with them.

Take the fist case listed above. Did I do the right thing? Was I to hard on him or to easy on him. Did I not understand him or even try to understand him. Was I to quick to assume? All questions that swim around in my head. And with the second case, can I be doing more? Should I do more? Should I contact his father and give him a good “What For”? Or just let it alone and he has requested I do…. I do the best I can, but never am sure it is the best…. 

So I hold my breath….

God Bless

Paul

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My life is what I choose it to be…


What is the one thing you can do to change your life? What one thing can make all the difference in your life? Giving you the ability to create the life you always wanted!

This blog is going to more on the self-help side of things, no politics, and that’s something I haven’t done in a bit. I have been on a political kick for sometime. So I thought I would mix it up a bit, as the blog itself states, it’s about more than just politics.

So what is that one thing? What is the magic pill we all have with in us? Our attitude…(Read this)

An attitude is a hypothetical construct that represents an individual’s degree of like or dislike for something.

Degree of LIKE or DISLIKE…. Sounds like Facebook… But that is the key. We choose our attitude, we decide how something or someone is going to affect us. It is all in our control. Dr. Wayne Dyer talks about this all the time, he may use different words and evoke different emotions, but it all comes down to the same thing in the end, we decide what is what. We have the power…

How we see things, in what light we decide to look at our lives and the lives of those around us will affect how we react to events in our lives. From a simple smile or frown in the morning to a major illness, our attitude will make the most significant difference in our day and life.

Research has proven the a person with a positive attitude will recover faster than one without.(Read this) and (Read this). So what can you do to gain a positive attitude, or to improve the one you have?Attitude-Transformation-Mind-Map

We all know that in order to get healthy or to stay healthy we must exercise and eat right, this same basic concept applies to our attitude as well, here are a few tips to help you do just that:

  • Take time for yourself each and every day, 5 to 15 minutes at least, try to make it a quiet place were you can relax and regenerate. Use the time to read or reflect.
  • What you read is what you are, so read positive books and articles, try to fit reading into your daily life, even if it’s for only 5 minutes.
  • Give yourself small manageable goals each and everyday, something that you know you can accomplish, to give yourself a sense of achievement. It can be anything, cleaning off your desk or emptying the junk drawer.
  • De-clutter your life. Start small and do one thing per day to remove clutter. Start in your closet, remove what is not essential. By tackling one task a day you will see results and have a sense off accomplishment.
  • When you see yourself becoming negative, stop what you are doing, and take a 5 to 10 second re-adjustment break. Take a deep breath and hold it for 5 seconds, than slowly exhale and let the stress flow out. Repeat if necessary.
  • Add positive quotes or images to your work area, or for school aged kids, place a positive quote in their lunch bag or place one in their books.
  • Remind yourself that life is what you choose to make of it. That only you have the power to make your life a living hell or a paradise.
  • Choose your battles wisely, not every issue is worth the battle.
  • Place your trust in God, and allow Him to work with and through you

So start today, make an action plan, write it down, define your goals and stick to them, and remember that if you slip-up one day, that’s ok, there is always tomorrow.

God Bless

Paul

A Life Coach can help you achieve your goals: Guided Insight Life Coach

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A conservative look at the school system


FeaturedImage With school being out, and so much in the news about so many school districts having to cut back or close schools I thought I would offer some help to them.

1. As for cutting the over all budget follow the following steps

  • Remove the socialistic system that hampers the teachers and the schools from best serving the students (i.e. cut the unions out)
  • Fire all incompetent teachers and administrators, NOW, no arbitration, no review, your gone!
  • Remove all sill programs that use up tax dollars, there is no need to offer free condoms in schools, they think they are old enough to have sex, than they are old enough to purchase there own.
  • Return all power to local districts, with the tax dollars feeding directly into their budgets removing the state and federal level of involvement

2. As for adding funds to the budget

  • Allow the schools to sell marketing spots, keeping in mind that all marketing campaigns would have to be okayed by the schools and parents

3. As for the curriculum

  • Remove classes that should be up to the parents/caretakers to teach (i.e. sex Ed)
  • Allow local districts to determine the curriculum that meets the needs of their schools, the state nor the federal government should be involved in this. Local mayor or township officials should be charged with executive authority.
  • Allow schools to develop curriculums that meets the needs of the student body and surrounding area. In a more urban environment the needs are different than a rural, so why should the state or federal government dictate the curriculum.  

4. Other innovations and ideas

  • Allow tax dollars to be spent by the parents/care takes at what ever school they decide is the best for there child. If the local public school works well for them so be it, if its the local Catholic or Jewish school so be it. Education of the child is up to the parent not the state.
  • Return to local smaller schools, truly community based. Allowing the students to form stronger bonds with the community and each other. If your thinking that this will increase the cost of educating our children, with the elimination of unnecessary positions and other wasteful programs  such as bussing (no need in neighborhood schools)
  • Remove all state and national testing. Test are not true and accurate evaluations of the abilities of students. Nor are the fair to the teachers or educational system.
  • Allow the free market system to dictate what school programs work and don’t work. As parents exercise there ability to choose the school they wish to send there child to, the under performing schools will have to revamp or close down and the tax dollars dry up.

The education of our children should be paramount to us all. Our future as a town,city,county,state and country depends on them all. As we continue to monkey with the education of our children, trying this new way verses this new way we are jeopardizing the future of our children and ourselves.

The new math accomplished only one thing, confusing all us parents and gardens who learned the old math. The age of a new and kinder school (i.e. not flunking any one, no bad grades  etc..) accomplished a few things 1) we now have a generation of illiterate graduates 2) and a generation of people who truly believe they should get what ever they want because they are want it.

We have failed!

We have failed our children, we have robbed them of the opportunity to learn and grow. We have allowed the liberal minded tree hugging pacifist to dictate the education of our children. We have allowed the socialistic teachers unions to control our children and indoctrinate them in to the liberal army of drones to do their bidding. We have granted all access control of our family unites to the very people who wish to destroy it, and we do it with smiles on our faces as they pick our pockets for every last dollar.

The current state of education in this country is in a crises, we are failing to prepare our youth for the world that is out there. Instead of educating them on the founding fathers or the advances the American way of life offers to millions of people, we show them Al Gores “An Inconvenient Truth”. A documentary that has been proven, in a British court, to contain at least 7 out-an-out lies! When we should be teaching our youth respect and honor we are teaching them the many ways to use a condom or how to self pleasure yourself. As we sit back and demand that our students are tolerant of all, we teach them to hate any who’s views are not that of the liberal mindset.

We have failed our youth!

We have allowed the passage of time to decay a once great system, once a system envied by the world and now a system that soon, if things do not change, will be envied by no one and used as an example of what not to do. Education is not to be used as a political grandstand, nor is it to be used as a replacement of the parents or guardians who are charged with caring for them. We, the American public must take a stand, a stand for our future a stand for our children!

A system that is intent on political correctness over the truth is a system destined to fail. The current sociopolitical atmosphere is charged and waiting. The storm of true reform is brewing over the horizon, just out of sight of the naked eye. The rolling thunder of a revolution can be heard in the cafes and town halls all over this great nation. The lighting of reform will strike soon and the rains of educational purification will cleans the system. But this storm will not arrive until we, the people, stand and take charge of our children and there education.

The days of Reading Writing and Arithmetic are long behind us, but we can get them back, he just have to want it bad enough. I know I do, do you?

 

God Bless

Paul

Zechariah 14:9“The LORD will be king over the whole earth. On that day there will be one LORD, and his name the only name.”

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St. Frances Xavier and Goa


Map showing the population density of each dis...

Image via Wikipedia

I just returned from a trip to India, mostly work, but as always I find ways to have fun. And this trip was no different. My stay in Pune, India was fantastic. I made new friends and saw old ones. We went out for dinner and I saw and tasted things I thought I would never.

This trip was a little different for me, I tacked on a few extra days to vacation, my plan was to stay in Pune and site see, but my friends and co-workers had different plans for me. They booked me a trip to Goa. Goa is the vacation spot in India, people from all over the world travel there. Now I was going to Goa towards the end of the session. June is the start of the rainy session, so most vacationers are gone by this time, except the local Indian’s. They choose to go to Goa towards the end of May. So I was in the mists of the India vacation spot.

Goa is nothing like I expected, based on my trip to Pune, I expected the same look and feel. Not sure why, it was a coastal area, off the Sea of Arabia and Pune is not. It’s further down and Pune is not. Well I was pleasantly shocked! Goa is a paradise! Green and lush and full of wonders. The one thing I never expected was all the Catholicity. Goa is filled with Catholic Churches and spirituality. I was shocked! I expected Hindu temples, but not Catholic Churches, and never in my wildest dreams did I expect to find a Saint. But find one I did.

St. Frances Xavier (link) is not only in Goa, but he uncorrupt remains are there.And I was blessed to visit them! I never thought I would see this in my whole life, but I did. All because my co-workers wanted me to experience a new part of India!

To see such a site is a moment i will never forget. To see one of God’s saints… Words cannot come to mind. I was and still am somewhat speechless.

below are some photos I took:

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To the ends of the earth: A story of St. Frances Xavier Cabrini
1 Thessalonians 4:16-17“For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.”

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Posted by on May 31, 2010 in Called by God, Catholic, Faith

 

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The gift of grudge


2316677591_6654e4ce6f With Mothers Day upon us, it is time to reflect on our mother, both earthly and those that are no longer with us. The other day I posted a blog about having parents, or better yet, the blog was tong in cheek about needing to prove I had parents on my birth certificate. But it did cause me a moment to stop and reflect upon them. Both my parents have passed on, my dad has been gone some thirteen years and my mom has been gone four years or so.

As a child of parents, as we all are, the loss of a parent is difficult at best. But the loss of the surviving parent is even harder. It is at this point that I think you realize that your life is not indefinite that you too will one day pass on. I was heart broken when I lost my dad, I felt a section on my life drift away. But I still had my mom there to feel that connection to life, that connection to my being. It was in-fact them that brought me into being, working in cooperation with God. So with the loss of them both, so in a way, I saw the death of my creators. I saw an end of a time of walking on earth with my loving parents, who out of love created me, loved me, even when I deserved no love. I saw my earthly parents parish from this life, and God willing enter in to the next.

It is kind of ironic that I had to search for and find my birth certificate that listed my mom and dad’s names. That I had to prove that they existed. Life has a way of calling our attention to facts at odd moments. God does work in mysterious ways. At this point in time my relationships with my siblings are strained at best. The one I am closest to, my sister, we have not truly talked to each other is over two months, my other sister and I have not talked since my mothers passing and my brothers, well its a strange relationship at the best of times.

It is sad that we all do not get along, that past issues prevent us from maintaining a relationship today. Some of it is me, I know, and some of it them. It is shared equally between us. Each of us have a little bit of our mother in us. Mom was able to hold a grudge up until the end. She only had one sibling, a sister, they had not talked to each other in over 20 years. And in truth it started over a silly painting that was hung in my mom and dads bedroom. Salt was added to the wound when my dad passed away and my moms sister could not find it in her heart to send a card with even a hint at tenderness. All five of us children seemed to receive this “gift” from our mother.

We all seem to be able to hold onto a grudge for years, and as we all know, the longer we hold the grudge the deeper the roots get. My dad use to always say that mom could remember dates, times and exact conversations so she could bring them all back up in a fight. She held on to them all, just incase. Was this true, well sort of, she did have a good memory, and she did use her ability to recall facts. And at times it did seem that she kept them just incase she needed them to win an argument. But who knows…

But back to the blog…

So I found it kind of interesting that at a time in my life, in fact for the first time in my life, my relationship with my brothers and sisters are as such, that I currently am not enjoying a positive and happy one with any of them. It saddens me that this is the case. I enjoy family, but I do not enjoy the stress and strain that sometimes comes with it. And in a way the politics of families is even more confusing and dangerous that the politics of the country. The politics of the country are all played out for an end, they have reasons for what they do, they have an end in mind. But family politics, well that’s a whole different monster, often times the politics are played out with no end in mind. The end game never seems to happen and the parties involved just dig in deeper. This seems to be the case with me and my other siblings. Once again, I know that some of it is my doing, I am not claiming to be an innocent by-stander. No, i know full-well what I have done and have not done. I know where I have tried and where I have failed or not tried at all.

But the past week has caused me to pause and think, to ponder the facts and to reflect upon the nature of family. The fact that I am preparing to travel to India for two weeks has caused me to think. Normally I would be in contact with my one sister, asking for her help in watching over my house or just talking about how excited I am about the trip, I love to travel. But this time around, no such conversation took place. I have someone to watch my house, truth be told I always have someone to watch it, I as a neighbor to check up on it, and I have a nephew who lives her, so he will make sure the dog is feed and plants have water. So in truth she is not needed to watch my house. I just felt better knowing that my sister was overseeing it all. Normally my sister would also keep me up-to-date concerning her life, but this past week she was in the DC area, and I had no idea, I was never told. Not that she has to tell me, but normally she would have, normally she would have even asked if I wanted to come along. 

So the gift of grudge holds strong in my family, its a gift that just seems to keep on giving. recently I went to confession for the first time in years. It was an experience that I will enjoy again, and on a more regular bases, I felt the warmth love of God filling my soul and spilling over into my heart. I felt the healing grace of God and knew I had to start to make changes in my life. So I started, I have invited all my siblings to the graduation party for my nephew. Even the ones that I truly do not want to see.  Don’t know if this is a good idea or not, because some may not come because the others will be there, so it may end up that none of them come.

I also am trying to learn that I too must change, that I too need to let go and to grow. But it is a hard lesson for me. The ironic part is that in the process of letting go and in growing that may truly mean that the my relationships with my family my never be the same, that I may never have a relationship with them again.  But if its because I have grown and I have truly let go of all the grudges, well than that’s ok, that’s just life. But on the flip side of the coin, this process of growing and letting go may bring us all closer together, who knows. All I know is that I need to let go and I need to grow. So more confessions for me and more soul searching in the very near future. As for my brothers and sisters, well all I can do is offer up my prayers and keep an open door. As of now the door is open, but only a little, I still have it blocked.

My mom gave us many wonderful gifts, she was a kind person with a big heart. She was understanding and loving. The whole h
olding a grudge thing, well I think that was a gift from her mother… But that truly is a whole different blog. As for this blog, well I just want to say:

I miss my mother most at times like this, at times  when I need her hugs and understanding, and her words of truth. I miss her most when I prepare to leave on trips, she was always so happy and excited for me. They were times when I knew I made her proud of me. I miss her most when my heart is heavy with sadness or confusion and I miss her most when I an filled with joy and wonder. My mom was my best friend, and someone I knew I could count on to always tell me the truth, no matter the hurt that may come with it. I respected her and loved her for that gift.  This mothers day I will offer up a special prayer, a prayer to my mother that she may still look over me and still tell me all that I need to hear. I will offer up a prayer filled with deep pain in the loss of her and filled with a deep love that can not be filled by anything upon this earth. I will ask God to bless her soul and to bring her home to him. I will pray that my moms love is never ending and that I may continue to feel her working in my life. I will pray that my love for her will only grow and never diminish.  This mothers day I give to my mom  the only gift I can, I will give the gift of love and devotion. A gift of my self and my actions. A gift of my thoughts and my being.

Mom, I miss you and love you!

Your loving son

Paul

Confessions (Penguin Classics)
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Colossians 4:5-6“Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

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