Life Coach; What is it

What Is Life Coaching?

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler."

–Henry David Thoreau  

Life Coaching is a profession that is profoundly different from consulting, mentoring, advice, therapy, or counseling. The coaching process addresses specific personal projects, business successes, general conditions and transitions in the client’s personal life, relationships or profession by examining what is going on right now, discovering what your obstacles or challenges might be, and choosing a course of action to make your life be what you want it to be.

How Does Life Coaching Work?

The Life Coaching Format:

• Complimentary Coaching Consultation
• 60 to 90 minute "Discovery" first session
• One 30 to 90 minute phone call per week
• Unlimited Email support
• Occasional brief check-in calls

Life Coaching is a designed alliance between coach and client where the coaching relationship continually gives all the power back to you, the client. We believe that you know the answers to every question or challenge you may have in your life, even if those answers appear to be obscured, concealed or hidden inside.

Our skills are about knowing the right questions to ask and having the right tools and techniques to empower you to find those answers within yourself.

You, the client, are the only expert in your entire life who truly knows who you are and what you need. You are the only expert who can recognize what is absolutely best for you. We are simply experts in the coaching process. As your coach, we help you discover what your own personal "best" might be.

Every day we make choices to do or not do many things. These choices may range from profound to trivial and each one has an effect that makes our lives more fulfilling or less fulfilling, more balanced or less balanced, that make our process of living more effective or less effective. Life coaching helps you learn how to make choices that create an effective, balanced and fulfilling life.

We help you connect your head and your heart in a way that transforms your passion for your dreams into action for your life.

We are highly trained as generalists and can coach superbly on any aspect of life. However, we may choose to specialize in one or more of the following areas :

• Relationships and Intimacy
• Stress Management and Balance
• Spirituality and Personal Growth
• Entrepreneurial and Small Business Development
• Career Planning and Development
• Motivation and Time Management
• Creativity for Artists, Writers, Musicians and Performers
• Finances and Budgeting
• Health, Aging, Lifestyle and Self-Care
• Family and Parenting
• And much more

An interesting article on Coaching ( Top 10 professional life coaching myths)

why it works

Unlike other forms of self-help or therapy, life coaching offers a new look on basic human needs. Partnership, support and know-how are areas that distinguish life coaching from other therapies.

Partnership

Tiger Woods, at the top of his game, still works on improving his skills. For this, he relies on his coach to make sure he still has the edge. A similar bond exists between the life coach and the client.

Support

Individuals are better able to make big decisions when they have the support of friends, family, peers, or a life coach. With a life coach a client is more comfortable taking bigger strides to getting the job done and making the appropriate changes toward a better life.

Know-how

It’s always best to pick a coach that has walked a similar line in life as you have. The coach will know how to help the client achieve his goal — whether it is to make more money or simply to make better decisions.

life coach vs. therapist

Life coaching and therapy are both based on support, trust and complete confidentiality. They also make equal use of listening skills and non-judgmental attitudes toward the client.
Some say that therapy deals with the past and handling emotional pain; whereas, coaching deals more with the near future and devising action plans toward a specific goal.
You can’t move toward the future without turning the page on the past. Attaining a life coach is recommended after unresolved matters are settled. Coaching may not be what you need if you have unresolved issues of the past. On the same token, if you need coaching you don’t need to get therapy first.
A therapist often seeks insight and understanding of a person’s psyche rather than focusing on strategies and life plans. Coaches are not perceived as experts — they are more or less a person with knowledge and skill, which they use to help clients achieve their goals. Coaches encourage and support the client while giving valuable advice to achieve specific life goals.
The major difference between a life coach and a therapist is the relationship between the client and the coach. The synergy between the two goes beyond what standard therapy offers. The sessions are not confined to the usual meeting rooms — more and more people contact their coach by phone, e-mail or even meet for a quick drink.

 

Need a life coach?

Only you will know if you really need a life coach or not. The following list of questions may help you decide:

• Do you often feel overwhelmed from the daily tasks at hand?
• Do you feel like you’re living life unconsciously?
• Do you suffer from low self-esteem?
• Do you feel like everyone seems to have a master plan but you?
• Is there a lack of support in your life?
• Do you feel like the whole world is out to get you?
• Are you going through difficult times in life and need a helping hand?
• Do you have deadlines you just can’t deal with and don’t know how to cope?

Answering yes to any of the above questions doesn’t necessarily mean you need therapy, but might suggest that you could benefit from some life coaching.

 

Is coaching right for you?

Before you frantically flip through the phone book for some help, step back and ask what exactly you wish to accomplish with a coach. Once you establish this, a life coach can strategize a winning plan to help you attain your goals.

Life coaching may not be the best option for you if you have a hard time digesting constructive criticism or you just don’t think you can devote the time and energy to make a change for the better. Due to the partnership approach of coaching, it is vital that the client be open and willing to the experience.

Read more: http://www.askmen.com/money/body_and_mind_100/141b_better_living.html#ixzz2W0J8tFxe

 

Interested in bettering your life, want to grow personally and professionally, but find it hard to get motivated? Then maybe a Life Coach is what you are looking for, a Life Coach can help you stay on track, define your goals and help you achieve your dreams. Why not make a call that can change your life, to find out more, visit http://guidedinsight.wix.com/guidedinsight and set up your free session.

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

 

Mother, Daughter and John 15:13

A friend of mine was texting me the other night with issues she was having with her daughter, Mothers Day had come and passed and all she received from her daughter was a text stating Happy Mothers Day. Shallow and cold, I will admit, but not unexpected. The relationship between them has always been a bit strained. Even as a young child, the daughter is now in her 20’s, she was a self-centered child. Looking to always serve her own interest. The blame, as always, lies between the parents and the personality of the child.

Her parents are divorced, I do not know the father, but know the mother well. She holds on to the divorce live a badge, she will not let it go, never have and most likely never will. She is bitter and hurt. For what I do not know, for I only know one side of the story. And as we all know, one side of a two-sided story is never enough. What I do know is the deep roots this divorce has caused. I have known the mother for over 15 years, at one time we dated, and we have remained friends after the break-up. Her lack of ability to let it go causes much pain in her and those around her, this, of course, cause issues with-in the family unit. From what I can tell, based on what I have been told by the mother and the kids, she has two, a boy and girl, the father is not very concerned with rules. He is laid back and not very concerned with structure. Is that the case, I do not know, like I said I have never had the change to meet him. But it is the narrative played out in the kids and mother.

The mother, she is controlling and likes structure, she is deeply emotional and likes lots of affirmations, one could say she is needy.  Is she a bad person, no, I think she has a big heart and means well, but I do think she has a difficult time defining love, to me it seems she places a tangible value on love and fails to see love as intangible. She needs to “see” love, the feeling is not enough.

Sure, I will be the first to admit Love is many things, tangible and intangible, but I will also be the first to admit that Love is not one thing, it’s not seeing over feeling, and Love does not always show it self in the ways we would expect. Sometimes the smallest of acts, a smile at just the right moment, says Love more than the words could ever do, Sometimes, but not Always…

Sometimes that same smile can be spiteful and hurtful… Love is…. What is it?

The bible offers us many passages about love, but the one that came to mind when I was talking to my friend, trying to help her through the latest issue with her daughter was this…

John 15:13

¹³ Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.

^{New American Standard Bible (NASB)}

 

Why this passage of all passages… The Holy Spirit works in odd ways, let me tell you….

Some back ground of the conversations:

As I said, the daughter text her “Happy Mothers Day” her son, who is in Mexico as part of his seminarian training, called her and talked for 2 hours. A drastic difference, but the two kids are as different as night and day, so not unexpected. But back to the issue at hand.

She asked me what I thought of it all, my response, What did you expect from her. Her response, Love. This conversation went on for about 45 minutes (by the way, I hate texting).

She asked for my advice on what she should do, my advice, same as it has been for a few years now, Stop expecting what she will not provide you. Her response, What, I should not expect my daughters love.

Not exactly what I was talking about, I explained that she loves you, but you will never get the response you want, and if you keep setting yourself up for disappointment, that’s what you will always get.

Still no go, her questions, Is it so wrong for a mother to want her child’s love. My response, No, it’s not wrong, but you cannot force anyone to love you in the way you want or need. Love does not force, it does not control and it is not needy. She did not really like that response from me. Sometimes the truth hurts.

But she knows me well, and she knows I always speak my mind and tell it as I see it. No harm was intended and I am sure no harm was done. So she asked for clarification.

My clarifications, We have to learn to accept the love that is offered, not try to change the love to be what we want. This did not help. She still felt that love was a tangible thing.

Her plan of action

The daughter’s birthday is next month, so her plan is to give her daughter a photo of the three of them, the mother and the two kids. Sounds nice, unless you know the daughter, and I do… She will reject this, not because she hates her brother and not because she hates her mother, but she will reject it out of spite. Just to retain the control over her mother. The more she rejects her mom, the more control she has over her. Her mothers need for tangible love is strong, and her mothers need to control is strong (she is a passive aggressive controller).So the rejection of the photo would only lead to the mother feeling hurt and trying to figure out what she can do to earn her daughters love. This, of course, gives the daughter all the power, and the mother none.

My response to the planed gift, Not a good idea. Do not play into her hands. So what than should I do, was her next question.. Text her, Happy Birthday, and offer her a dinner. Leave it at that… She was not happy with that recommendation. Her concern, if the daughter rejects the dinner invite, that would hurt more, and she really wants to give the photo and birthday card.

The real concern, she wants to gain the upper hand, to have control, to tug at her daughter’s heart-strings, and she thinks the family photo will do the trick.

But she is missing the point, the text and dinner offer gives her the control, the daughter would not expect the same treatment she gives her mother. Now some would say I was being childish, but I beg to differ. The response is not meant to hurt, but to level the playing field, to stop setting oneself up for one disappointment after another, to start to accept the kind of love the daughter was offering and to learn that sometimes we must let go.

So this is the point where I offered my bible verse:

¹³ Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.

The point of the passage was missed on her. But it was too late at night for me to get in to is, so I told her to think on it. She asked me to send her an email explaining it to her, so this post is my response (I will only send her the part concerning the passage, all the above back ground information is for us only…Unless she reads this blog…)

Why did that passage pop into me head as a good passage to use? What was the Holy Spirit leading me to? And how do I explain it? Well here I will try:

When most people read that passage, the first think that comes to mind is Jesus upon the cross, offering up His life for our sins. Offering it up freely… WOW, that is true love and friendship. So most of us think of it as the ultimate act of sacrifice for love and friendship, to offer ones life, and it is, if it is not takes to lightly. We read stories and see it on the news, people placing themselves in danger for a child or a loved one, we even see it being done for total strangers (think Boston Marathon bombing).

The gift of life should never be taken lightly and should never be given lightly. But is that the only way one can lay down ones life for a friend? I think not!

*Parents lay down their life for their children on a daily basis. Not always by risking death, sometimes it is by stand by their child through a sickness or by supporting a child through hard times. The love of a parent knows no bounds. The parent knows that rejection of the love is always a possibility, but it is offered anyway, parents know a child my do something that may go beyond anything they may have ever dreamed their child was capable of (think school shootings), but even than a parent will stand by their child. They may not approve of the child’s actions, they may even be the ones to turn them in to the authorities, but there love for that child does not falter. They are willing to take the mean words offered to them by others who do not understand, that will defend their child even if it means they to are persecuted. This is a death they are willing to undertake for their child. Not a physical death, but yet, it is still a death.

Consider a parent of an addict, they offer help and forgiveness to their child, they take them in and support them, only to have the addiction take over their child, yet again. But they continue to support and make excuse for the child, to shelter them from the crudeness of the world. Thinking that they are helping the child, suffering with the child, only to see the child falter again. This is not laying down ones life, it is protection of ones own life. The child needs to learn how to fail, so they can learn how not to fail. For the parent this means to let the child fail, and in doing so, they to will feel the failures the disappointments and resentment of and from the child. This is a death, but like the death of Jesus, there is a resurrection, a new life.

The new life comes from the child’s understanding that actions have consequences, that the addiction causes pain. But if the parent kept sheltering the child, the pain is always shifted to the parent, the child takes no responsibility for their actions. But by the parent allowing the child to feel the failure the parent is also allowing the child to grow to learn and to experience a new life. And the parent is also allowed to grow, to learn and to experience a new life. This most likely will not happen in tandem with each other, the parent may experience the new life before the child even realizes what has just happened, or the parent may take years to come to terms with the fact that they allowed their child to fail. But in the end, Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends… And a life can be laid down in many ways.

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

* The examples are given to illustrate a point, I am not implying that this is always the case. And before anyone starts yelling at me about the addiction example, yes I do understand additions, yes, I know what I am talking about… But remember, it was an example, not a real life situation, so deal with it…

 

 

 

 

Related articles

• A Mother’s Love (modernmanofthecloth.com)
• Mothers’ Day: Damn I Forgot!! (thoughtsthatforge.wordpress.com)

 

Object or Action… The Verb and the Noun

 

The other day I attended an meeting at my Church, they have decided it was time to make some much needed changed to the religious education of the middle school youth program. It was time to re-evaluate how they approached the faith formation of youth, what books to use, if any, what grades will be changed and how do we change it… All questions that need answers, along with a million others.

The process of change is hard, as everyone knows, no one likes change, and God knows the Catholic Church does not come to change easily, this is true for the local parish as much as for the Vatican. Change with in the Church is a slow moving process, and for the most part I thing that is a good thing. The Church is not an institution that should change with every new fad in faith. Her traditions and teachings must remain constant, the stability of the Church is one of her strong points. But sometimes even the most simplest of changes take time. Lets face it, the Church moves slow.

Well, back the the meeting, my parish has decided that change is needed, that we must approach the youth is a format and fashion that appeals to them, and I’m sorry, most of what is currently offered as “religious formation” is nothing but memorization of religious facts. Really, facts = faith? Knowing the prayers of the faith is important, memorizing bible passages is important, but does that make one faithful?

Lets look at it in a different light…

Learning math, 2+2=4, does not make me a mathematician, it makes me able to add, subtract and do the simple math needed to navigate life. It also introduces me to math, allowing me to explore it more deeply, if I choose, and maybe I will become a mathematician latter in life. If not no harm, I now know how to add 2+2.

So, as a math teacher (I am not one) my job would not be to create mathematicians but rather to foster the desire to become one. I teach the basics and leave the rest up to the individual.

Much is the same with most things taught, The object of teaching is to pass on the knowledge, not to create new experts.

The exception to the rule…

Once a path has been chosen, such as Doctor, than the object become creating a new expert. So far I would assume that most would agree with me, education, in is simplest form is to pass on needed information, not to create new experts.

Object or Action

I look at it like this, The object of Faith Formation is not to create new Theologians or Priest, but rather to foster the desire to grow more deeply in the faith. Another way to look at it, Are we creating Theologians or Catholics?

Theologian is an object, a noun

Catholic is an action, a verb

The point of faith formation is not to create nouns but to foster verbs.

I would rather see the youth excited about the faith than to see them recite a prayer, yet have no attachment to the faith. With the basics of the faith instilled in them in a new and exciting way we will be creating a new generation of dynamic Catholics, Catholics that are on fire for knowledge, and some will become the new Theologians and Priest and others will be the new laity, the laity that is involved in parish life, that look at the parish as part of, not separated from, the family dynamics.

What will happen at my local parish, will we see the change that needs to come, or will continue to look at faith formation in the same old way? Only time will tell, but with the grace of God and the working of the Holy Sprit we just may…

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

 

The Mexico I thought I would never see

href=”http://anamericanpointofview.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/20120610-101037.jpg”>
My job takes me all over the world, I have the privilege of visiting many countries and making amazing friends everywhere I go. Mexico is no different. Eight months ago I was in Mexico City, not for work, but for a celebration. My good friend was getting married, and I was given the privilege of being his best man. The 2 weeks leading up to his big day was filled with adventure for me, seeing Mexico for the first time. We spent each night out, doing something, eating, drinking or just watching a movie together. The weekends were willed with visiting sights and spending more time together. The Mexico I saw that time, was the Mexico of the tourist. I had a splendid time, and could not wait to return.
And return I did, but this time for work. Two weeks of training sessions, but as always, I planned a little extra time in for visiting friends and seeing more of Mexico. I am spending the weekdays at the hotel, close to we’re I am working, the nights are spend out to dinner with friends, but the weekends, I am at my friends apartment, sharing there life with mine. Part of there life is there faith. They are both strong Christians, and Saturday’s are spent at a local orphanage, they sing songs with the kids, and teach them a bible lesson that always ends with a picture to color. This is we’re I come in, I speak no Spanish, so I cannot help with the songs or the lessons, but coloring is universal, and even I can do that. So I sit with some of the kids and try to keep them focused, not an easy task, these are young kids, 4 to 6 year olds. And like any 4 to 6 year olds, there attention span is non existence, and with me, the big American in the room, I am some what of a novelty, so I distract from the lesson. But coloring, ya, I can help with that.
So I sit at the small table, and try to communicate as best I can, witch means I point and grunt a lot. But they seem to get it, kids are some much smarter than we give them credit for. It just amazes me sometimes.
I have been twice so far, and not sure if I will make it. ET weekend, my last weekend in Mexico, but I hope I do. The kids enjoy the attention, and I am sure it does there souls good to see a kinder world than the ones they come from. Mot of the kids are removed from there homes by the government, and most have seen a hard life already, harder than most of us will ever see. One little boy, Poncho, is missing his nose, yep, it’s missing, his mother did it to him. So sad, but he is a happy boy, smiles a lot and wants to be loved. It breaks your heart, but at the same moments gives you hope, hope for the future.The hope I see is in there eyes, there smile and mostly in the laugh. Children have a lot to teach us, if only we would listen and learn.
My heart was changed, my thoughts altered and my faith restored. I did nothing, just sat and colored with them, they did everything, they trusted, the loved and they gave hope. As a Catholic we are told to become servants to others, that our faith depends upon this. And over the years I have, I spent over 15 years as a religious ed teacher for the church, developed a faith formation program and gave of my time when and were needed. And each and every day of those 15 years was and is a blessing. I would not trade them is for anything. I still speak to a lot of the young people I worked with, many now have kids of there own, and I treasure each one of them in my heart, as I will the orphans of Mexico I have had the privilege of meeting.
God has a funny way of waking you up, of getting your attention. If anyone would have told me that some of the best times I would spend in Mexico would be in a orphanage, I would have laughed. That’s not the normal type of Christian service I would choose. Give me a soup kitchen, or a clothing drive. Something were I do not have to face the inhumanity of the world directly, that’s better suited for me, but God, as always, has different plans than we do. So now I can say, with a humble heart and a little human pride, that visiting the orphanage in Mexico was one of my favorite things. That I have given to those most in need a few hours of my day, and they, in return, have given a life time of thanksgiving and praise. Yep, God has a funny way to remind you what is important in life.

God Bless
Paul Sposite
Guided Insight Life Coach

<a

 

Reading, the Giver of Life

Cover via Amazon

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.”
― Dr. Seuss, I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!

I have a few favorite topics, the Ego is one of them, I love to talk about the Ego as the root of all evil, and Reading, reading is also a favorite topic, and every now and then I like to post what is  on my reading list. I am one of the strange people who read 4 or 5 books at a time, so it takes me a long time to get through just one book. recently I finished a book that I was reading for over one year, the day I finished it, I was extremely pleased, one year for one book is a long time, even for me. But now with the advent of e-readers, my reading list has grown from 4 or 5 to 10 or 20… It’s a wonderfully horrible problem I have. With all the free classics online that I can now download to my iPad, I’m just at a lost as to what to read… Besides the free books, I still love the printed word, so I order books, even thought I have several on my need to read shelf. It’s a never-ending problem, but a problem I love having. I have books to go with any mood I may be in, mystery, suspense, romance, sci-fi, history and religion, depending on the mood determines the book. Besides all the books and e-books, I have magazines I subscribe to, my political side of me to keep current, and all the news websites I read.

Reading is the giver of life, knowledge and death. Through reading we learn of emotions and concepts and we experience realities that we never knew existed.

I read for several reasons, to learn, to enjoy, to escape and to take part in the authors world. Reading is the window into the souls of the authors, and, if you allow it, into your own soul. Show me what you read, and ill see who you are. Reading reveals our inner most being, unlocks the doors to our imaginations and prepares us for the tomorrows that have yet to be.

So when I read articles that claim that our high school youth are reading on a 5th grade level, the blood drains from my being. How can we ever expect to produce a society of leaders, if the next in line leaders cannot even comprehend J.D. Salinger‘s classic The Catcher in the Rye or read a common newspaper article about current affairs (excluding the USA today, who’s reading level seems to be at the 5th grade level already). the dumbing down of our nations top newspapers has been happening for years, but with the current high school students graduating with only  a 5th grade level, more newspapers will have to go from the current 8th grade level to a 5th grade level to keep readership.

“Think before you speak. Read before you think.”
― Fran Lebowitz, The Fran Lebowitz Reader

Reading offers our minds the ability to grow, to exercise and to experience life outside of our own.  Gives us insight into realities we may never have experienced, if not for the authors whom we choose to read. You want to improve your life, read, nothing else will give you as much result as that.

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

Related articles

• Fran Lebowitz on the difference between consumers and citizens (raincoaster.com)
• Fran Lebowitz: One More Outtake (slog.thestranger.com)
• Five MA Cities Apply for Award for Reading Campaigns (eyeonearlyeducation.org)
• WEEKLYEXTRACREDITREADINGOPPORTUNITY - American High School Students Are Reading Books At 5th-Grade-Appropriate Levels: Report (mrpricefhs.wordpress.com)
• Fran Lebowitz On Stage With Dan Savage Tonight (slog.thestranger.com)
• Book Review: The Catcher in the Rye (idmdude.com)
• Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger (therabbitbooks.wordpress.com)
• Excerpts from a Letter (theotherdayatportrait.com)
• Grade Retention is Not the Answer (enoughofthecattalk.com)
• How Dogs Can Boost Children’s Reading Skills (everydayhealth.com)
• QRI-5 Assessment Experience Reflection (jen3890.wordpress.com)
• Read Across America Book Drive (anchorage-school.org)
• Education Initiative Focuses on Kids (fox4kc.com)
• Some Books I wish I had Written (psychedelicpineapples.wordpress.com)
• What was J.D. Salinger working on? (salon.com)
• Why You Need to Read “Catcher in the Rye” (thebullmhs.com)
• The Lorax- A Tribute to Dr. Seuss (tasithoughts.wordpress.com)
• Family Friday: Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss! (kaezmum.wordpress.com)
• Your Empress of Information Can Read with Her Eyes Shut (b-townblog.com)
• chasitymoody’s #CBR4 review #3 – The Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger (cannonballread4.wordpress.com)
• Previous Post (talktomenerdy.wordpress.com)
• Celebrate Dr. Seuss & Read Across America Day! (passion2read.wordpress.com)
• Fox in Socks App Now Available for iPhone, iPad and iPod Touch from Oceanhouse Media (prweb.com)
• A Management in a Minute Book Overview of Oh, The Places You’ll Go! by Theodor Seuss Geisel (quazen.com)
• What’s Your Favorite Dr. Seuss Book? (clutchmagonline.com)
• What is your favorite Dr. Seuss book? (timesunion.com)
• NEA’s Read Across America March 2, 2012 (ssppreads.wordpress.com)
• Great Book Apps Beyond Disney, Dora and Dr. Seuss (prweb.com)
• To Dr. Seuss Lovers: Oh, the Places You’ll Go! (if you persevere) (writelikerowling.com)
• Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss! He’s 108! (+ Giveaway) (zaraalexis.wordpress.com)
• Topic Brainstorming: The apocalypse trope in Dr. Seuss’ “The Lorax” (aml24101614.wordpress.com)
• The Sexual Innuendo You Never Noticed in Dr. Seuss (collegecandy.com)
• Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss! (labeldaddy.com)
• Happy Read Across America Day! (cityyearsanjose.wordpress.com)
• Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss & Giveaway (bookingmama.net)
• Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss! and thank you (lynnadavidson.wordpress.com)
• Dr.Seuss Lorax – New Feature Added (igamemom.com)

 

My thoughts on Trayvon

Trayvon Martin Protest – Sanford (Photo credit: werthmedia)

Up until now I have not posted about the Trayvon Martin case. I was waiting on facts to come out and hoping for civility. But it seems civility is lost and facts are slow to come. The murder of Trayvon is sad, the murder of any young life is sad, but that does not mean the life of George Zimmerman’s is fair game. We have a nation of laws, and we must follow the laws and allow the laws to work. We cannot and must not allow vigilantly style justice prevail in the case. The American justice system, all-be-it imperfect, is the best system there is. And the death of Trayvon will have its day.

But the rhetoric of many of the left has to stop! We cannot allow the media to create a polarizing political social situation out of Trayvon. MSNBC knowingly edited the 911 tape to make Zimmerman sound racist:

What MSNBC reported:

“This guy looks like he’s up to no good … he looks black,” Zimmerman told a police dispatcher from his car.

 

What Zimmerman said:

ZIMMERMAN: This guy looks like he’s up to no good, [begin ellipsis] or he’s on drugs or something. It’s raining and he’s just walking around, looking about.

911 DISPATCHER: Okay, is this guy, is he white, black, or Hispanic? [end ellipsis]

ZIMMERMAN: He looks black.

Big difference, don’t you think. Look, I don’t know if Zimmerman is a racist or not, but what I do know is that MSNBC went out of there way to portray him as such. And that is wrong! The news is suppose to deliver factual reporting, not make it up to fit there narrative.

We have the New Black Panthers offering a bounty on Zimmerman’s head, dead or alive, we have Spike Lee tweeting an address to what he thought was Zimmerman’s house and others with in the black community adding there own fuel to the fire. How can any of this be helpful? How can any of this be in any way, shape or form, a good thing? We had students ransacking a Walgreens drug store, to show there support and solidarity with Trayvon, really, that’s how we want to keep his memory alive? That is how we want to honor this young mans life, by offering bounty and ransacking drug stores.

To me, a simple white man, I would have to argue that no, that is not the way to honor Trayvon, to me the best way to honor him, let justice prevail, and as a nation, let us look at how we can better understand violence. Let us set up the Trayvon center for understanding. Let us look into how we can help youth let us research ways to stop the youth on youth violence, Let us use Trayvon as a lesson in understanding.

I am not, in anyway suggesting that Trayvon was doing anything wrong on that night, nor am I suggesting that Trayvon was an angel. He was a 17 year old youth who, as it seems, was involved in drugs and as it seems, had issues in school. Does this mean he was a gangster no, but it does me he was not the angel either. Trayvon was a teenager, and like most he was discovering himself, but to show him as this pure and innocent youth is just wrong. Show him as he was, who he was.

Trayvon was 12 in this photo

 

Trayvon is 16 or 17 in this photo

In both photos he is Trayvon, he is a young man who’s life was cut short, and it is sad and I pray for him and his family. But to show the 12 year old Trayvon is miss leading, and it was used to make the narrative stronger. In the day and age of internet searches, it was only a matter of time before other photos of Trayvon show up.

This case will either divide America or unite her. We will either be a black vs. white America or we will be America. I hope and pray that Trayvon will heal America, bring us together and allow his memory to be used as a unifier and not a divider. But I fear it is already to late, I fear that the media and the activist have already created an atmosphere of hatred and revenge. I fear the nation will become more divided as this case moves along, that the eyes and ears of the people have already been tainted and our hearts and souls have been assaulted.

But this is America, and we can learn from this, we can grow and become a better nation, a better people, if we allow it. But the rhetoric, speculation and hatred has to stop! We cannot achieve justice if we close our eyes to facts, what ever they may be.

This is a defining moment in American history, will we move forward or will we move backwards? Will American justice be allowed to work, or will vigilant justice prevail?

One comment I heard that really struck me was this:

“You tell our justice department and Eric Holder and our President Obama to get off up their ass and do the work and the rest is done!” Muhammad went on to say. When pressed by Cooper on the legality, he responded that he could make a citizen’s arrest of Zimmerman, who has not yet been charged for anything, because the New Black Panther Party member doesn’t “obey the white man’s law,” but rather the “street people’s law.” (source)

White mans law? Street people’s law? What is this, I only know of American Law. This kind of statement is made for one reason only, to create hate to make people see red and to insight violence. This has to stop!

I will state here and now, if George Zimmerman is guilty of murder or hate crimes, than he should pay the price, but if not, than he should be left along. Time will tell, and we have to allow the system to work, we can not arrest Zimmerman just because Trayvon happen to be a young black boy, and Zimmerman white. By the way, when did the term white-Hispanic come it to our vocabulary? Oh ya, when it fit the narrative. If the politically correct term for black Americans is African-American, then should it not be  Hispanic-Americans for Hispanics, and not white-Hispanic? See how silly and dangerous this all is. We all allowing the media to create a new group of Americans, the dreaded white-Hispanics, who of course, because they are white first, must hate all blacks, and must be racist. SICK! Just Sick!

I, as a white male, do not hate anyone because of there skin color, in fact I really don’t think I hate at all. I do  very strongly,dislike some people, but not because they are black or yellow but because the are ass’s, they are evil  and hateful. Nothing to do with skin color, everything to do with character.

We need to stop this hatred now, we need to grow up and move on. All the hate talk going on concerning Trayvon is a disgrace to Americans, all Americans regardless of skin color. God willing it will soon end and justice will prevail.

God Bless and Happy Lent

Paul

Guided Insight Life Coach

Related articles

• Trayvon Martin killing raises loaded racial terms (cnn.com)
• George Zimmerman: Victim of Racist Hatred and Liberal Ignorance (thecollegeconservative.com)
• Is Trayvon a “Racial” issue or a “Justice” issue or neigher (onemorecup.wordpress.com)
• Pictures and Prejudice in the Trayvon Martin Case (themoderatevoice.com)
• Limbaugh Warns Audience To Consider Future Racially Divisive Stories Are ‘Manufactured And Made Up’ (mediaite.com)
• The Left’s Trayvon Martin Narrative Falling Apart at the Seams But Obama May Still Get His Race War (nicedeb.wordpress.com)
• Of Michelle Goldberg Part 10: To Her Justice For Trayvon Martin Means Ignoring Facts, Inventing Myths – And Stirring Racism (neosecularist.com)
• Drudge Report: Zimmerman is a Democrat? (donny-wise.com)
• The Trayvon Martin case stirs racial tension, and parents are concerned about the safety of our youth. (shesourrock.com)
• Why the Trayvon Martin killing isnt racist, its the truth. (youngliberalandfat.wordpress.com)
• Zimmerman-Martin It’s not always Race (sacratomatovillepost.com)
• Rick Scott responds to New Black Panther Party “bounty” on Trayvon Martin’s shooter (miamiherald.typepad.com)
• Trayvon Martin Shooting – New Facts vs. Media Bias (marchoftimes.wordpress.com)
• Daily Caller Sees Possible Head Injury In George Zimmerman Police Video (mediaite.com)
• The Trayvon Optics So Far: Less Idealization is a Good Thing (bagnewsnotes.com)
• Is Trayvon Martin Our ‘Bubba Effect?’ (disclose.tv)
• Biography: Trayvon Benjamin Martin (1995-2012) (bazaardaily.com)
• Blood Lust Won’t Bring Justice in the Trayvon Martin Case (usnews.com)
• The Bridge: Racist Dogs On Notice: You Can Not Have Another Trayvon! (bmia.wordpress.com)
• Anderson Cooper and New Black Panther debate the Trayvon Martin case (thegrio.com)
• New Orleans Cop Suspended After Trayvon Rants (newser.com)
• Allen West condemns New Black Panthers for Zimmerman ‘bounty’ (thegrio.com)
• Trayvon Martin Family Attorney Tells Bill O’Reilly: ‘We Are Not Seeking An Eye For An Eye Here’ (mediaite.com)
• Video Shows No Blood, Bruises on Zimmerman (newser.com)
• Trayvon Martin case: Frank Taaffe justified racial profiling that killed Trayvon Martin (thegrio.com)
• Trayvon Martin and Dred Scott (feministphilosophers.wordpress.com)
• What Everyone Should Know About Trayvon Martin (1995-2012) (powersthatbeat.wordpress.com)
• CCTV Of Trayvon Killer Casts Doubt On Scuffle (news.sky.com)
• Zimmerman’s father decries ‘hate’ from Obama, others; says son threatened and beaten by Trayvon (thegrio.com)
• Joe Oliver: Who is Zimmerman’s black friend and chief defender? (thegrio.com)
• Lead Cop Wanted Zimmerman Arrested (newser.com)
• Trayvon’s mother: ‘They’ve killed my son, now they want to kill his reputation’ (thegrio.com)

 

Suffer the Children

But Jesus said to them: Suffer the little children, and forbid them not to come to me: for the kingdom of heaven is for such.

Mathew 19:14 (Douay-Rheims Bible)

Yesterday was a sad day in Detroit, Michigan and Chardon, Ohio. (Select the city to read the stories) Our youth, our children have become murderers. Nothing new you may be saying to yourself, and right you are, Children have been killing each other over silly things since Cain and Abel.

Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. ³ In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the LORD. ⁴ And Abel also brought an offering—fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The LORD looked with favor on Abel and his offering, ⁵ but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.

⁶ Then the LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? ⁷ If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”

⁸ Now Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out to the field.”^[d] While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.

⁹ Then the LORD said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?”

“I don’t know,” he replied. “Am I my brother’s keeper?”

¹⁰ The LORD said, “What have you done? Listen! Your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground. ¹¹ Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your brother’s blood from your hand. ¹² When you work the ground, it will no longer yield its crops for you. You will be a restless wanderer on the earth.

Genesis 4:2-12 (NIV)

Youth, from the start, have been envious of others; it seems to be a part of them. So no, murder is nothing new within society, but something has changed. I am not sure what, but something has.

Yesterday I was thinking about the senseless acts of both the Detroit youths and the Chardon, and I knew I needed to write about it today, to offer something, but what that something is I do not know. My mind goes from one thought to the next, one direction to the other, and it is hard for me to focus on one train of thought. I know this, I know that this has to stop, that we have to find a way to make the madness stop!

The responsibility falls on all of us, the Family, the Community, the Church, State and Nation. The violence is an epidemic a cancer eating away at our cities, our youth. Killing off the next generation of Doctors and scientist, politicians and fathers and mothers. We are aborting our responsibilities, all too often in the name of, of what?

We no longer “discipline” our youth, for fear of social services coming in and taking them. We are more concerned about their self-esteem them about their lives. Me, I say low self-esteem for a few hours is well worth the price of a lifetime. We no longer “force” youth to follow basic rules, in order to allow them to express themselves. I am sorry, they will have a lifetime to do that, in school rules are to be followed, and at home, rules are to be followed. This idea that the child and the parents are “best friends” is silly at best and destructive at worst. We are not “friends” to our children, we are parents, and we are caretakers and guardians of their little lives. We are to nurture and love them, but we are also to teach them and sometimes “punishment” is part of teaching.

In the real world, if I break a law, I must pay the fine, be it cash, time or whatever the price is, I am expected to pay it. Yet all too often, we teach our children that there is no punishment, there is no fine for the crime they commit.

I remember, years ago, when my boy came home from playing soccer at the local soccer club. This club charges $5 per person to play. He did not have the $5 to play, because I was at work and unable to give it to him. Nevertheless, when he returned home that day, he told me he played. I asked him how he paid, he said he didn’t, I assumed one of his friends paid, so I asked, who paid for you? No one he said… Therefore, me being the ever-smart one, asked, so how did you get in, and he being the ever not so bright at times said, we waited until the girl left the counter and walked in.

Yep, he walked in, without paying. Sure, it was only $5, at least that is what he said to me, no big deal, its only $5. Now I could have said, your right, they make enough money, and they should not charge you anyway. But what I said was, I don’t care if it was only one penny, what you did was wrong, it was stealing and you will pay it back, you will go and apologize and you will never, ever do it again. Because if you do, you will be one sorry young man. So we got in the car, drove back to the soccer place, I made him look the person in the eyes, tell them what he did, say he was sorry and offer his services to pay back the $5. He washed windows for about 45 minutes. Than we drove home. On the way home, I told him I was disappointed in him and that I loved him, we stopped for dinner and enjoyed our night. Now, he still did not think he did anything wrong, but a few days later he came back to me and said he understood and that he was truly sorry.

Yep, sometimes punishments have to be part of love and understanding. Yesterday my reaction to the Detroit mess was to bring the death penalty into Detroit, it was a knee jerk reaction, but I feel it may still have some merit. The problem, most of the violence is from youth, under 18. However, we need to do something, we need to fix this, and we need to fix it soon.

I do not have the answers, no one person does, God does, so I know we need to pray for the youth and pray for the cordage to do what is needed to be done. I also know that it is going to take all of us to fix this mess, all of us working together, putting aside our egos and city verse suburbs mentality. I know that I love the city of Detroit, but I also know that I am, for the first time in my life, getting a little scared to go to the city. The youths are running wild and they have no respect, none for themselves and even less for others. Life to them is expendable. Sad… However, expected…

We, as a nation, began to teach our youth that life is expendable. It started in 1979, and has grown. The land mark case of Roe v Wade, making abortion the law of the land, murder on demand. What do we expect, when Planned Parenthood goes into our schools and tells the youth, you do not want the “problem” you created, get rid of it, kill it, toss it out on to the streets, murder it. So life becomes worth nothing. Oh, and by the way, you want to do, do not let anyone tell you that you cannot, you just do it. We have allowed our youth to be taught that parents, the caretakers, guardians and we have no right to tell them, the youth, how to live, what to do, what is morally right and wrong. We have created a generation of individual morals, a generation that thinks they personally are more important that the person standing next to them. This flies in the face of what we know to be true.

²⁸ just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Mathew 20: 28 (NIV)

We know, as Christians, that we are to serve others, yet we have created a generation that sees it as, others are to serve them. The question is how do we get back to that, Jesus calls us to?

This Lent, use the time to pray for our youth, to ask God for guidance and grace and to protect our youth from the evil one.

God Bless & Happy Lent

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach (website is being updated, current web is just a template)

 

Related articles

• Chapter 4 – Sin Continues through Cain (candylehnen.com)
• Massacre in Chardon, Ohio (ronskemp.wordpress.com)
• Genesis 4 (youthalphapeterson.wordpress.com)
• 365 Day Bible Challenge (Day 3) (seattlegirl07.wordpress.com)
• Cain and Abel (fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com)
• Cain and Abel (Genesis 4) (refreshmyheartinchrist.wordpress.com)
• BIBLE JOURNEY !!! Part Four (ebenezerjmalyi.wordpress.com)
• World Lit 1/23 (classesofgcsu.wordpress.com)
• Cain, by José Saramago (theglobeandmail.com)
• Perfection (divinitytreasures.wordpress.com)

 

How Do You Teach People Values When They Are Raised in a Secular World?

Hate him or love him, this is a great discussion… This is a conversation we, as a community, as a nation, as adults, need to have more often. This should be our number 1 concern. Want to know what tomorrow will be like, look at our youth…

I hope you enjoy…

 

Beck Asks Panel: How Do You Teach People Values When They Are Raised in a Secular World?

It is a question that many of us have likely asked: How do you instill values in people — especially young people — when they are raised in an ever-increasingly secular world?

David Horowitz, Pastor Geronimo Aguilar and other faith-leaders joined Glenn Beck on Wednesday evening to discuss this very topic.

Citing the “domino effect” that has arisen since faith has come under fire, the panel delved into issues such as single-parent homes, the contributions of faith-keepers versus secularists, and the somewhat recent creation of the “underclass.”

Horowitz explained that “accountability” and “responsibility” — as core tenets of faith — gives one the power to change their lives for the better, thus reversing self-destructive behaviors. He also explained that the underclass is only a recent development dating back to the 1960′s and the Great Society, reminding that before those days there was the “working poor” who were able to advance themselves gradually throughout life.

“Now people are addicted to dependency,” Horowitz said.

Glenn led the engaging panel through a discussion of statistics, with one panelist adding that a few short decades ago, “75 percent of black children were born to two parents” and that one study suggested “90 percent” of all violent crimes were perpetrated by adults or teens who came from a one-parent home. Glenn reminded that splitting up families is a common tactic of those who seek to oppress.

Watch this fascinating discussion and weigh in below with your thoughts:

(Video)

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

 

A Man of Value

Image by cliff1066™ via Flickr

As part of my morning I search for a new quote to place on the Guided Insight Life Coach fan page on Facebook and sometime to place on my Linked In page. And sometimes I have an idea of what I am looking for, say like a quote from a certain person or on a particular topic and other times I just poke around looking for something that speaks to me… Well that’s what I did today, and boy does it speak to me:

Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value.~Albert Einstein (1879 – 1955)

 

All to often in today’s world we look at our fellow-man (using the term to describe all of humanity) and judge them based on status, money, power and prestige. Yet often times this shallow approach misses the deeper meaning. As always, Einstein looks at life a little differently than most, he had the ability to see things not as they appear but rather as the ought to appear. Mans success’ are worthless without values, or to put it another way, The success of a man is based on his virtues. What we do, and how we do it and why we do it is more important than all the money, power and prestige in the world. Don’t believe me, lets look at a few people from the past that we honor today:

• Marten Luther King Jr.
• George Washington
• Mother Theresa
• Abraham Lincoln
•  Mahatma Gondi
• George Washington Carver
• Albert Einstein
• Jesus Christ

Each and every one of them were persons of Character, morals and virtue. None were perfect, and each made mistakes, but the underling current of good character was present. Some had to work harder at it than others, but each achieved greatness not through power and money, but rather through good moral character. Something we all need to learn more of and something we all need to impress upon the youth.

One way to achieve this is to read about the lives of people whom you feel represent this attribute, such as the list above. I , over the years have read about a few of them, George Washington is my newest read and Lincoln will follow. Einstein will have to be revisited and Christ is always on my list, Mother Theresa will be added along with a few others. There are no shortages of examples out there, the lives of the Saints is always a good place to look, but by no means the only place. Dr. Wayne Dyer always offers sound and good advice on how to live a life of value and of course my blog, An American Point of View and my coaching service, Guided Insight Life Coach is also a good place to look (Shameless plug, I  know). But the point is, there are hundreds if not thousands of places to find inspiration on how to live a live of value.

We, as a nation, need to redefine what is of value, what is success. We have teens killing each other over Air Jordan shoes. We see people placing more value on a logo brand than on human life! Is this what we have come to? Is this what we want to teach our youth, is this how we want out children to grow up? It has nothing to do with economic conditions, Mother Theresa came from the poor to work with the poor, Jesus was poor his entire life. Money does not dictate nor is it a precursor to values. If, as the current thought process goes, money is the driving force behind values, than we would not have any corporate fraud or crime, but as we all know, this is not the case. Money, contrary to popular belief, is not the way to happiness, nor is it a path to values.

Character is learned, nurtured and grown. Sure, some had the seeds at birth, from all I have read, George Washington was such a person But he still had to learn, to grow into it, he was known as somewhat of a hot head in his youth. Quick to temper and lash out. He understood the downfalls and ramifications of this, and worked diligently at keeping his temper in check. I am sure each and every person on my list had to work at being a person of value. And we need to do the same, we have to make a commitment to do so, that is the first step.

A Man of Value is a lost are, or at least it seems to be. Lets try to rediscover this art form and learn to incorporate it into our daily lives, one place to start is Being George Washington, a website dedicated to restoring values into our lives. check it out, read the book Being George Washington and start your process of becoming a Man of Values, or a Woman of Values or what ever you want to label it, just start it!

God Bless

Paul W Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

Related articles

• Would George Washington be a Viable Candidate for the Republicans (ronscoffeeandchocolates.wordpress.com)
• George Washington On Boundless Ambition In Politics (samuelatgilgal.wordpress.com)
• Einstein (therightglass.wordpress.com)
• Some LEGO Albert Einstein awesomeness for you (winextra.com)
• Albert Einstein Quotes (timehuman.blogspot.com)
• Sometimes simple is well enough (anamericanpointofview.wordpress.com)
• How To Make A Difference And Change The World (patriciajevans.com)
• Values or Fame? I Choose Values (workthedream.wordpress.com)
• The facts about Albert Einstein (egrejeen.wordpress.com)

 

Questions of Force and Faith

The death of 15-year-old Jaime Gonzalez has shaken this neighborhood along the U.S.-Mexico border, where parents already burdened by economic woes and street gangs are now faced with explaining the tragedy to their children.

Making it especially hard: It remains unclear to his parents and investigators why Jaime — a drum major who danced in his church’s annual religious festival, stayed out of gangs and had two parents who closely watched him — could swerve off course and bring a weapon to school. The weapon, police later determined, was a pellet gun. (link)

Reading this article makes me think about many things. The sadness the parents and friends must feel, the questions it opens and the wounds that will never heal. It makes me think about the questioning and second guessing the officers must be going thru, did we have to shoot to kill, did we do the right thing. It makes me wounded what was going on in the head of this young man, whom, by all reports I have read, seems like a normal 15 year old, staying clean and out of trouble.

It’s a sad story, and I truly feel for the parents and all involved, I pray for the young mans soul, and that God will have mercy on him.  But I feel that there is more to the story, that we are missing something…. I’m not say he was not a good boy, or that that parents were not good parents, but there is something missing…

I would have to say that most likely what was missing was community, safety and security with in the community. we all have hear that is take a village to raise a child, and its true. Think about it, we spend more time outside of the family than we do in it, as a school aged young man, he spent more hours away from home than in the home. Be it at the school or hanging out with friends. And that is as it should be, that is how a young man becomes a man. But the dynamics of that “village” plays a roll, a very big roll…

The village is not a physical location as much as it is a concept. The boundaries of the village grow and the youth grows, as a 8 year old, his village most likely was school and home, maybe daycare. His friends were local and his parents had more control over who he played with and not. As he grew, so did his village, as a 15 year old his village would now include more physical space, able to go more places and hang with more types of people. His school becomes just one of many places with in the village. And his parents influence is, to some degree, less than the influence of his friends. And all this is as it should be, the process of growing up, and becoming a young man.

It is this force that helps shape the boy into a man, and by all accounts it seemed to be doing a fine job. So what happen, what made this young man bring a gun, all-be-it a harmless gun, but still a gun, to school. What possessed him to run thru the halls, refusing to put it down? All questions we will never know the answer to. Sad… Very sad…

But now this is were faith comes in, the parents must have faith that they did the best they could, that they did not let there son down, and faith that God, in HIs own way, will make it all clear to them. But we must also examine the village, and see were, if any, safety nets may have failed. Was there a sign that was over looked, was he crying for help, but know one noticed, or cared to take action. Just questions…

God Bless

Paul W Sposite

Related articles

• After Texas School Shooting, Many Questions Loom (abcnews.go.com)
• After Texas school shooting, many questions loom (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
• Parents angry as police kill boy, 15, carrying pellet gun (smh.com.au)
• Parents hit out at police after boy carrying pellet gun shot dead (smh.com.au)
• Questions loom after Texas boy’s death (cbsnews.com)
• Student Shot Dead by Police Had Pellet Gun (foxnews.com)
• Texas Police Kill 15-Year-Old Carrying Pellet Gun – NPR (npr.org)
• Texas Police Kill 8th-grader Carrying Pellet Gun (maboulette.wordpress.com)
• Cops shoot and kill 8th grader brandishing a pellet gun in middle school hallway (examiner.com)
• Texas police kill student carrying pellet gun – CBC.ca (cbc.ca)