Mother, Daughter and John 15:13

A friend of mine was texting me the other night with issues she was having with her daughter, Mothers Day had come and passed and all she received from her daughter was a text stating Happy Mothers Day. Shallow and cold, I will admit, but not unexpected. The relationship between them has always been a bit strained. Even as a young child, the daughter is now in her 20’s, she was a self-centered child. Looking to always serve her own interest. The blame, as always, lies between the parents and the personality of the child.

Her parents are divorced, I do not know the father, but know the mother well. She holds on to the divorce live a badge, she will not let it go, never have and most likely never will. She is bitter and hurt. For what I do not know, for I only know one side of the story. And as we all know, one side of a two-sided story is never enough. What I do know is the deep roots this divorce has caused. I have known the mother for over 15 years, at one time we dated, and we have remained friends after the break-up. Her lack of ability to let it go causes much pain in her and those around her, this, of course, cause issues with-in the family unit. From what I can tell, based on what I have been told by the mother and the kids, she has two, a boy and girl, the father is not very concerned with rules. He is laid back and not very concerned with structure. Is that the case, I do not know, like I said I have never had the change to meet him. But it is the narrative played out in the kids and mother.

The mother, she is controlling and likes structure, she is deeply emotional and likes lots of affirmations, one could say she is needy.  Is she a bad person, no, I think she has a big heart and means well, but I do think she has a difficult time defining love, to me it seems she places a tangible value on love and fails to see love as intangible. She needs to “see” love, the feeling is not enough.

Sure, I will be the first to admit Love is many things, tangible and intangible, but I will also be the first to admit that Love is not one thing, it’s not seeing over feeling, and Love does not always show it self in the ways we would expect. Sometimes the smallest of acts, a smile at just the right moment, says Love more than the words could ever do, Sometimes, but not Always…

Sometimes that same smile can be spiteful and hurtful… Love is…. What is it?

The bible offers us many passages about love, but the one that came to mind when I was talking to my friend, trying to help her through the latest issue with her daughter was this…

John 15:13

¹³ Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.

^{New American Standard Bible (NASB)}

 

Why this passage of all passages… The Holy Spirit works in odd ways, let me tell you….

Some back ground of the conversations:

As I said, the daughter text her “Happy Mothers Day” her son, who is in Mexico as part of his seminarian training, called her and talked for 2 hours. A drastic difference, but the two kids are as different as night and day, so not unexpected. But back to the issue at hand.

She asked me what I thought of it all, my response, What did you expect from her. Her response, Love. This conversation went on for about 45 minutes (by the way, I hate texting).

She asked for my advice on what she should do, my advice, same as it has been for a few years now, Stop expecting what she will not provide you. Her response, What, I should not expect my daughters love.

Not exactly what I was talking about, I explained that she loves you, but you will never get the response you want, and if you keep setting yourself up for disappointment, that’s what you will always get.

Still no go, her questions, Is it so wrong for a mother to want her child’s love. My response, No, it’s not wrong, but you cannot force anyone to love you in the way you want or need. Love does not force, it does not control and it is not needy. She did not really like that response from me. Sometimes the truth hurts.

But she knows me well, and she knows I always speak my mind and tell it as I see it. No harm was intended and I am sure no harm was done. So she asked for clarification.

My clarifications, We have to learn to accept the love that is offered, not try to change the love to be what we want. This did not help. She still felt that love was a tangible thing.

Her plan of action

The daughter’s birthday is next month, so her plan is to give her daughter a photo of the three of them, the mother and the two kids. Sounds nice, unless you know the daughter, and I do… She will reject this, not because she hates her brother and not because she hates her mother, but she will reject it out of spite. Just to retain the control over her mother. The more she rejects her mom, the more control she has over her. Her mothers need for tangible love is strong, and her mothers need to control is strong (she is a passive aggressive controller).So the rejection of the photo would only lead to the mother feeling hurt and trying to figure out what she can do to earn her daughters love. This, of course, gives the daughter all the power, and the mother none.

My response to the planed gift, Not a good idea. Do not play into her hands. So what than should I do, was her next question.. Text her, Happy Birthday, and offer her a dinner. Leave it at that… She was not happy with that recommendation. Her concern, if the daughter rejects the dinner invite, that would hurt more, and she really wants to give the photo and birthday card.

The real concern, she wants to gain the upper hand, to have control, to tug at her daughter’s heart-strings, and she thinks the family photo will do the trick.

But she is missing the point, the text and dinner offer gives her the control, the daughter would not expect the same treatment she gives her mother. Now some would say I was being childish, but I beg to differ. The response is not meant to hurt, but to level the playing field, to stop setting oneself up for one disappointment after another, to start to accept the kind of love the daughter was offering and to learn that sometimes we must let go.

So this is the point where I offered my bible verse:

¹³ Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.

The point of the passage was missed on her. But it was too late at night for me to get in to is, so I told her to think on it. She asked me to send her an email explaining it to her, so this post is my response (I will only send her the part concerning the passage, all the above back ground information is for us only…Unless she reads this blog…)

Why did that passage pop into me head as a good passage to use? What was the Holy Spirit leading me to? And how do I explain it? Well here I will try:

When most people read that passage, the first think that comes to mind is Jesus upon the cross, offering up His life for our sins. Offering it up freely… WOW, that is true love and friendship. So most of us think of it as the ultimate act of sacrifice for love and friendship, to offer ones life, and it is, if it is not takes to lightly. We read stories and see it on the news, people placing themselves in danger for a child or a loved one, we even see it being done for total strangers (think Boston Marathon bombing).

The gift of life should never be taken lightly and should never be given lightly. But is that the only way one can lay down ones life for a friend? I think not!

*Parents lay down their life for their children on a daily basis. Not always by risking death, sometimes it is by stand by their child through a sickness or by supporting a child through hard times. The love of a parent knows no bounds. The parent knows that rejection of the love is always a possibility, but it is offered anyway, parents know a child my do something that may go beyond anything they may have ever dreamed their child was capable of (think school shootings), but even than a parent will stand by their child. They may not approve of the child’s actions, they may even be the ones to turn them in to the authorities, but there love for that child does not falter. They are willing to take the mean words offered to them by others who do not understand, that will defend their child even if it means they to are persecuted. This is a death they are willing to undertake for their child. Not a physical death, but yet, it is still a death.

Consider a parent of an addict, they offer help and forgiveness to their child, they take them in and support them, only to have the addiction take over their child, yet again. But they continue to support and make excuse for the child, to shelter them from the crudeness of the world. Thinking that they are helping the child, suffering with the child, only to see the child falter again. This is not laying down ones life, it is protection of ones own life. The child needs to learn how to fail, so they can learn how not to fail. For the parent this means to let the child fail, and in doing so, they to will feel the failures the disappointments and resentment of and from the child. This is a death, but like the death of Jesus, there is a resurrection, a new life.

The new life comes from the child’s understanding that actions have consequences, that the addiction causes pain. But if the parent kept sheltering the child, the pain is always shifted to the parent, the child takes no responsibility for their actions. But by the parent allowing the child to feel the failure the parent is also allowing the child to grow to learn and to experience a new life. And the parent is also allowed to grow, to learn and to experience a new life. This most likely will not happen in tandem with each other, the parent may experience the new life before the child even realizes what has just happened, or the parent may take years to come to terms with the fact that they allowed their child to fail. But in the end, Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends… And a life can be laid down in many ways.

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

* The examples are given to illustrate a point, I am not implying that this is always the case. And before anyone starts yelling at me about the addiction example, yes I do understand additions, yes, I know what I am talking about… But remember, it was an example, not a real life situation, so deal with it…

 

 

 

 

Related articles

• A Mother’s Love (modernmanofthecloth.com)
• Mothers’ Day: Damn I Forgot!! (thoughtsthatforge.wordpress.com)

 

Object or Action… The Verb and the Noun

 

The other day I attended an meeting at my Church, they have decided it was time to make some much needed changed to the religious education of the middle school youth program. It was time to re-evaluate how they approached the faith formation of youth, what books to use, if any, what grades will be changed and how do we change it… All questions that need answers, along with a million others.

The process of change is hard, as everyone knows, no one likes change, and God knows the Catholic Church does not come to change easily, this is true for the local parish as much as for the Vatican. Change with in the Church is a slow moving process, and for the most part I thing that is a good thing. The Church is not an institution that should change with every new fad in faith. Her traditions and teachings must remain constant, the stability of the Church is one of her strong points. But sometimes even the most simplest of changes take time. Lets face it, the Church moves slow.

Well, back the the meeting, my parish has decided that change is needed, that we must approach the youth is a format and fashion that appeals to them, and I’m sorry, most of what is currently offered as “religious formation” is nothing but memorization of religious facts. Really, facts = faith? Knowing the prayers of the faith is important, memorizing bible passages is important, but does that make one faithful?

Lets look at it in a different light…

Learning math, 2+2=4, does not make me a mathematician, it makes me able to add, subtract and do the simple math needed to navigate life. It also introduces me to math, allowing me to explore it more deeply, if I choose, and maybe I will become a mathematician latter in life. If not no harm, I now know how to add 2+2.

So, as a math teacher (I am not one) my job would not be to create mathematicians but rather to foster the desire to become one. I teach the basics and leave the rest up to the individual.

Much is the same with most things taught, The object of teaching is to pass on the knowledge, not to create new experts.

The exception to the rule…

Once a path has been chosen, such as Doctor, than the object become creating a new expert. So far I would assume that most would agree with me, education, in is simplest form is to pass on needed information, not to create new experts.

Object or Action

I look at it like this, The object of Faith Formation is not to create new Theologians or Priest, but rather to foster the desire to grow more deeply in the faith. Another way to look at it, Are we creating Theologians or Catholics?

Theologian is an object, a noun

Catholic is an action, a verb

The point of faith formation is not to create nouns but to foster verbs.

I would rather see the youth excited about the faith than to see them recite a prayer, yet have no attachment to the faith. With the basics of the faith instilled in them in a new and exciting way we will be creating a new generation of dynamic Catholics, Catholics that are on fire for knowledge, and some will become the new Theologians and Priest and others will be the new laity, the laity that is involved in parish life, that look at the parish as part of, not separated from, the family dynamics.

What will happen at my local parish, will we see the change that needs to come, or will continue to look at faith formation in the same old way? Only time will tell, but with the grace of God and the working of the Holy Sprit we just may…

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

 

Smile… Its good for you

Just some interesting facts for you about smiling…

 

1. Forcing yourself to smile can boost your mood: Psychologists have found that even if you’re in bad mood, you can instantly lift your spirits by forcing yourself to smile.
2. It boosts your immune system: Smiling really can improve your physical health, too. Your body is more relaxed when you smile, which contributes to good health and a stronger immune system.
3. Smiles are contagious: It’s not just a saying: smiling really is contagious, scientists say. In a study conducted in Sweden, people had difficulty frowning when they looked at other subjects who were smiling, and their muscles twitched into smiles all on their own.
4. Smiles Relieve Stress: Your body immediately releases endorphins when you smile, even when you force it. This sudden change in mood will help you feel better and release stress.
5. It’s easier to smile than to frown: Scientists have discovered that your body has to work harder and use more muscles to frown than it does to smile.
6. It’s a universal sign of happiness: While hand shakes, hugs, and bows all have varying meanings across cultures, smiling is known around the world and in all cultures as a sign of happiness and acceptance.
7. We still smile at work: While we smile less at work than we do at home, 30% of subjects in a research study smiled five to 20 times a day, and 28% smiled over 20 times per day at the office.
8. Smiles use from 5 to 53 facial muscles: Just smiling can require your body to use up to 53 muscles, but some smiles only use 5 muscle movements.
9. Babies are born with the ability to smile: Babies learn a lot of behaviors and sounds from watching the people around them, but scientists believe that all babies are born with the ability, since even blind babies smile.
10. Smiling helps you get promoted: Smiles make a person seem more attractive, sociable and confident, and people who smile more are more likely to get a promotion.
11. Smiles are the most easily recognizable facial expression: People can recognize smiles from up to 300 feet away, making it the most easily recognizable facial expression.
12. Women smile more than men: Generally, women smile more than men, but when they participate in similar work or social roles, they smile the same amount. This finding leads scientists to believe that gender roles are quite flexible. Boy babies, though, do smile less than girl babies, who also make more eye contact.
13. Smiles are more attractive than makeup: A research study conducted by Orbit Complete discovered that 69% of people find women more attractive when they smile than when they are wearing makeup.
14. There are 19 different types of smiles: UC-San Francisco researcher identified 19 types of smiles and put them into two categories: polite “social” smiles which engage fewer muscles, and sincere “felt” smiles that use more muscles on both sides of the face.
15. Babies start smiling as newborns: Most doctors believe that real smiles occur when babies are awake at the age of four-to-six weeks, but babies start smiling in their sleep as soon as they’re born.

 

NursingSchools.net is a website dedicated to proper care giving, healthy living and nursing student resources.

http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/15-fascinating-facts-about-smiling/

 

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach 

 

The future of reading?

It has been sometime since I last posted a blog… But I decided that I should post an update on that’s going on. Any one who reads this blog knows, I love to read all kinds of things. I read Stephen King books, books on politics and faith and the American way, but I was never one to read books on lost of social issues or scientific findings, but that has changed, thanks to TED*.

I am sure all of you have heard of TED Talks, the web-based video talks all around 15 minutes or so on a range of topics. They are informative and often times humorous.  Well they now have a service for TED Books, short, about 30 pages each, informative and humorous. And the topic range is also wide and varied. They are designed to be read in one sitting, something that never happens for me because I love to read 3 or 4 books at one time, depending on my mood and need. But I have read several of the TED Books and can say that so far only one has not inspired or interested me, but I will finish it… One day…

Reading is the fuel of the mind, it opens up new worlds and ideas, it allows your imagination to grow and powers your life. Reading is one of the most important skill sets you can ever have, followed closely by communication skills, verbal and non-verbal.

As someone who makes their living communication daily I know and understand the power of reading. It has opened up my mind to new and powerful thoughts and ideas. It has given me confidence to boldly state my beliefs and defend them, but the coast of books, be they eBooks or paper books, they add up quickly, and that can be a burden on someone who loves to read. But Ted Books are different, it’s a subscription to the library of titles, with new titles added monthly. For about $5 per month I can read as many or as few Ted Books as I want. It’s a wonderful thing…

The books are interactive, with links to the web, TED Talks and other documents or photos to help support the authors topic. You are free to dig-in to the topic or just read straight on through. The amount if knowledge you intake is up to you. Fantastic idea, only wish I would have thought of it!

Every once in a while an idea comes across that will change the world, Well I’m not sure TED Books will change the world, but I know it will change the concept of eBooks and how people will learn. TED Books allows you, the learner, to control what you learn and how much you learn. Click the link or don’t, it’s all up to you. I can see this technology being expanded to include eTextbooks or eManuals, and I hope and pray that some smart and rich Catholic will develop a TED Book type of Catholic library. Quick, easy and informative set of books to help form and teach the 1.2 million Catholic world-wide. If I have the money I would be doing it now. Think of the possibilities, think of the reach, think of the hearts and souls that could be touched.

This is also a perfect outlet for self-help and Life Coaching, quick, to the point and interactive… Often times books can be just to long, the point could have been easily made in a few well worded paragraphs, but due to the nature of books, three paragraphs does not constitute a chapter, but with TED Books it allowed and encouraged. Forcing the author to be direct and to the point. Less room for ambiguity and personal opinion. Often times I have read books where the author spends more time on what they wish or thing than on the facts at hand, confusing the reader and placing a fog over the concept. To me, this is just filler, to make the book thicker, justifying the price. Some of my favorite books are under 100 pages, the point has to be made quickly and the author has to be direct.

In the digital age and the 24/7 age of information we should expect and we should demand or information to be direct and to the point, with the opportunity to dig deeper into the concept if we so choose, and TED Books offers just that.

Give yourself a treat, subscribe to TED Books, check it out, read a few, and if you don’t like it, cancel it, but I am sure you wont, I am sure you will be addicted to them, like I am.

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach 

*Guided Insight Life Coach nor Paul Sposite are not paid to indorse TED Books, this is just a personal opinion and no money is made from your transactions with TED Books

Related articles

• TED Books (swiss-miss.com)
• 9 reasons to be excited by the new TED Books app (ted.com)
• Why TED Books? A Q&A with TED’s curator, Chris Anderson (ted.com)
• TED Books: Now on the Nook (ted.com)

 

Imagination

Jay Walker, founder of Priceline.com, shows one of the many artifacts from his library… an Apollo in-flight instruction manual. How strange. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

 

I just read an article that found interesting and thought I would share it with everyone:

————————————Start———————————-

 

JOURNAL REPORTS (WSJ)

February 25, 2013, 4:59 p.m. ET

The Power of Imagination

Jay Walker on the fuel that drives innovation

Jay S. Walker founded Priceline.com and is curator of TEDMED, a group dedicated to improving the future of health and medicine. Here are edited excerpts from his remarks at the Unleashing Innovation conference.

On why imagination has been undervalued for so long: For most of human history, there was a ruling class and then there was everybody else. If you were part of everybody else, it wasn’t your job to imagine a different future, different ways of doing things. So, imagination is a fairly modern phenomenon. It really only takes force in the 1800s in the way we think of it today, where you can make a living and not get killed for being imaginative. (To read the article, click here)

——————End———————————————-

Imagination is more important than knowledge. ~Albert Einstein

 

Nature and Health

Honey in honeycombs (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’m a firm believer in natural remedies, I am always looking for natural ways to keep my health, my Doctor posted this on his Facebook page, so I thought I would share it with you all…

 

Cinnamon and Honey

Drug companies won’t like this one getting around. Facts on Honey and Cinnamon:
It is found that a mix of honey and Cinnamon cures most diseases. Honey is produced in most of the countries of the world. Scientists of to…day also note honey as very effective medicine for all kinds of diseases. Honey can be used without side effects which is also a plus.Today’s science says that even though honey is sweet, when it is taken in the right dosage as a medicine, it does not harm even diabetic patients. Researched by western scientists:

 

HEART DISEASES:

 

Make a paste of honey and cinnamon powder, put it on toast instead of jelly and jam and eat it regularly for breakfast. It reduces the cholesterol and could potentially save one from heart attack. Also, even if you have already had an attack studies show you could be kept miles away from the next attack. Regular use of cinnamon honey strengthens the heart beat. In America and Canada, various nursing homes have treated patients successfully and have found that as one ages the arteries and veins lose their flexibility and get clogged; honey and cinnamon revitalize the arteries and the veins.

 

ARTHRITIS:

Arthritis patients can benefit by taking one cup of hot water with two tablespoons of honey and one small teaspoon of cinnamon powder. When taken daily even chronic arthritis can be cured. In a recent research conducted at the Copenhagen University, it was found that when the doctors treated their patients with a mixture of one tablespoon Honey and half teaspoon Cinnamon powder before breakfast, they found that within a week (out of the 200 people so treated) practically 73 patients were totally relieved of pain — and within a month, most all the patients who could not walk or move around because of arthritis now started walking without pain.

BLADDER INFECTIONS:

Take two tablespoons of cinnamon powder and one teaspoon of honey in a glass of lukewarm water and drink it. It destroys the germs in the bladder….who knew?

 

CHOLESTEROL:

Two tablespoons of honey and three teaspoons of Cinnamon Powder mixed in 16 ounces of tea water given to a cholesterol patient was found to reduce the level of cholesterol in the blood by 10 percent within two hours. As mentioned for arthritic patients, when taken three times a day, any chronic cholesterol-could be cured. According to information received in the said Journal, pure honey taken with food daily relieves complaints of cholesterol.

COLDS:

Those suffering from common or severe colds should take one tablespoon lukewarm honey with 1/4 spoon cinnamon powder daily for three days. This process will cure most chronic cough, cold, and, clear the sinuses, and it’s delicious too!

UPSET STOMACH:

Honey taken with cinnamon powder cures stomach ache and also is said to clear stomach ulcers from its root.

GAS:

According to the studies done in India and Japan, it is revealed that when Honey is taken with cinnamon powder the stomach is relieved of gas.

IMMUNE SYSTEM:

Daily use of honey and cinnamon powder strengthens the immune system and protects the body from bacterial and viral attacks. Scientists have found that honey has various vitamins and iron in large amounts. Constant use of Honey strengthens the white blood corpuscles (where DNA is contained) to fight bacterial and viral diseases.

INDIGESTION:

Cinnamon powder sprinkled on two tablespoons of honey taken before food is eaten relieves acidity and digests the heaviest of meals

 

INFLUENZA:

A scientist in Spain has proved that honey contains a natural ‘Ingredient’ which kills the influenza germs and saves the patient from flu.

LONGEVITY:

Tea made with honey and cinnamon powder, when taken regularly, arrests the ravages of old age. Use four teaspoons of honey, one teaspoon of cinnamon powder, and three cups of boiling water to make a tea. Drink 1/4 cup, three to four times a day. It keeps the skin fresh and soft and arrests old age. Life spans increase and even a 100 year old will start performing the chores of a 20-year-old.

RASPY OR SORE THROAT:

When throat has a tickle or is raspy, take one tablespoon of honey and sip until gone. Repeat every three hours until throat is without symptoms.

PIMPLES:

Three tablespoons of honey and one teaspoon of cinnamon powder paste. Apply this paste on the pimples before sleeping and wash it off the next morning with warm water. When done daily for two weeks, it removes all pimples from the root.

SKIN INFECTIONS:

Applying honey and cinnamon powder in equal parts on the affected parts cures eczema, ringworm and all types of skin Infections.

WEIGHT LOSS:

Daily in the morning one half hour before breakfast and on an empty stomach, and at night before sleeping, drink honey and cinnamon powder boiled in one cup of water. When taken regularly, it reduces the weight of even the most obese person. Also, drinking this mixture regularly does not allow the fat to accumulate in the body even though the person may eat a high calorie diet.

 

CANCER:

Recent research in Japan and Australia has revealed that advanced cancer of the stomach and bones have been cured successfully. Patients suffering from these kinds of cancer should daily take one tablespoon of honey with one teaspoon of cinnamon powder three times a day for one month.

FATIGUE:

Recent studies have shown that the sugar content of honey is more helpful rather than being detrimental to the strength of the body. Senior citizens who take honey and cinnamon powder in equal parts are more alert and flexible. Dr. Milton, who has done research, says that a half tablespoon of honey taken in a glass of water and sprinkled with cinnamon powder, even when the vitality of the body starts to decrease, when taken daily after brushing and in the afternoon at about 3:00 P.M., the vitality of the body increases within a week.

BAD BREATH:

People of South America, gargle with one teaspoon of honey and cinnamon powder mixed in hot water first thing in the morning so their breath stays fresh throughout the day.

HEARING LOSS:

Daily morning and night honey and cinnamon powder, taken in equal parts restores hearing.
Remember when we were kids? We had toast with real butter and cinnamon sprinkled on it!

 

 

Related articles

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Gen Leadership

Leadership is all-to-often defined in terms that can often times sound controlling or manipulative. Back in 1982 or 83 I was given the opportunity to take the Dale Carnegie course in Effective Communications, part of the course content was his book, How to win friends and influence people, the title never sat well with me, and it was not until years latter when I took the Christopher’s Leadership course did I understand why I did not like the book title, and truth be told, was not overly pleased with the Dale Carnegie course as a whole, the reason, to me it seems that the Dale Carnegie course was all based on manipulating people, not leading them. To me, leadership is not about manipulation but more about Generosity, Generations, Generativity and Engender.

Leadership in not about control or manipulation but rather relationships.

The four words I above to describe leadership all share the root of GEN – from Greek genoa, from Latin genus -  Greek -genēs born, produced; akin to Latin genus, kin. Leadership is Kinship, relation. When we are being true leaders we are building a kind of kinship, a kind of family as it were. Leadership depends upon a feeling of belonging, a feeling of being part of the over all group – the extended family – and manipulation of others does not achieve that goal.

Lets look at each word:

Generosity:

gen·er·os·i·ty

/ˌdʒɛn əˈrɒs ɪ ti/  [jen-uh-ros-i-tee]

noun, plural gen·er·os·i·ties.

1. readiness or liberality in giving.

2. freedom from meanness or smallness of mind or character.

3. a generous act: We thanked him for his many generosities.

4. largeness or fullness; amplitude.

A leader is one who is ready to give, to give of there knowledge and experience, with out expecting anything in return. A leader is large in Character, one who works hard to remove meanness as one of there attributed and is quick to give thanks and praise when needed. Leaders, true leaders, do not look to others to make themselves look good, but rather help others to achieved there goals and allowing them to take all the credit once the goal has been achieved.

Generation:

gen·er·a·tion

/ˌdʒɛn əˈreɪ ʃən/ [jen-uh-rey-shuh n] 

noun

1. the entire body of individuals born and living at about the same time: the postwar generation.

2. the term of years, roughly 30 among human beings, accepted as the average period between the birth of parents and the birth of their offspring.

3. a group of individuals, most of whom are the same approximate age, having similar ideas, problems, attitudes, etc. Compare Beat Generation, Lost Generation.

4. a group of individuals belonging to a specific category at the same time: Chaplin belonged to the generation of silent-screen stars.

5. a single step in natural descent, as of human beings, animals, or plants.

Leadership is not in a void, no leader can ever claim to have become a leader without look back to past generations. We do not exist in a void, we are not omnipotent – having very great or unlimited authority or power – we achieve greatness but learning from the past. Our present is based on the great leaders of past generations, and out future generations will be built upon our examples of leadership. No leader stands alone, all leaders build upon the leaders of generations gone by.

Generativity:

generativity

Part of Speech: n

Definition:
a concern for others developed during middle age, esp.a need to nurture and guide younger people and contribute to the next generation

Leaders, authentic leaders, do not keep there knowledge to themselves, they freely give of it, they use there skills to help build the leaders of the generations yet to come. Mentoring is an essential pare of leadership, a leader with out  monitories is like a ship with out a sail, no leader can lead if they do not first and foremost  teach there skills to others, Leadership is teaching on a higher plane, and a teacher with out a pupil is no teacher at all, they are nothing more than a blowhard with an audience.

Engender:

en·gen·der

/ɛnˈdʒɛn dər/ [en-jen-der] 

verb (used with object)

1. to produce, cause, or give rise to: Hatred engenders violence.

2. to beget; procreate.

verb (used without object)

3. to be produced or caused; come into existence: Conditions for a war were engendering in Europe.

Leaders produce they rise up and they procreate, leaders bring into existence ideas and actions, they procreate but helping to build the leaders of tomorrow, they are, in short, the mothers and fathers of the next great leader, the next big revolution and the next breakthrough for humanity. Leaders are anything but static, they are dynamic in all meanings of the work.

Gen Leadership

Gen Leadership calls us to reexamine our motives and techniques we deploy as leaders. Are we leaders for our own sake, or leaders for the sake of others? Do we believe that we stand alone as a leaders, or we we stand with many generations of leaders?  Do we procreate, are we actively engaged in mentoring new leaders or do hold our leadership cards close to our chest?

Take some time to truly reflect upon the questions, reread the the four different GEN leadership qualities, examine the deeper meanings and see how they currently fit into your leadership style. If they don’t fit in, how can you add them in, what can you do to start to incorporate them into your leadership tool box?

Gen Leadership is more about others than about self, Gen Leadership looks to the past to see the future. Are you a Gen Leader?

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

Related articles

• 6 Leadership Mistakes to Avoid. (oddstuffmagazine.com)
• How Leaders Make the Most of Social Gatherings (inc.com)
• Are You Motivating the Wrong Person? (gwynteatro.wordpress.com)

 

The Most Important Result is Still To Come

The Most Important Result is Still To Come.

via The Most Important Result is Still To Come.

 

These are my thoughts… (a post from my friend)

A fantastic post by a good friend…..

 

These are my thoughts…

…shared mostly so you can understand where I am coming from, even if you disagree with me.

It is 11:47 pm right now and I should be sleeping. I should be sleeping but I am unable to. One hour ago, it appeared that the current president was going to win his bid for re-election. One hour ago, I walked into our family room and asked my husband to come join me in our room and hold me until I fell asleep. He fell asleep firs…(typical) I asked him to come hold me because I am scared. Here is the thing, I know I have a lot of friends who voted for ‘the other guy’ and I know that tonight is a night of celebration for you. I know you will be happy and think that you have reached a level of success. I know you are certain that something better has happened for our country. I know you are confident that you can believe in the change that you are striving for. And finally, I know that you don’t quite know why people like me are so scared. I thought I would let you know why. Because here is the thing, understanding where the ‘other’ is coming from is a good thing. I want to help you understand…. (To Keep reading, select here)

_____________________

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach

 

America…How I weep for Her

The Statue of Liberty front shot, on Liberty Island. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I weep for a nation that is no more, for a nation that was once a great nation, a nation that prided itself on achieving greatness through hard work and innovation.

I weep for a people that once believed that handouts were to be looked down upon and that prosperity was not guaranteed but rather something you worked for, I weep for a people that once believed in the American Dream, but now believe in the American Scheme.

Last night America voted, and last night they voted for a new America, an America that is unknown to our founding fathers, an America that removers personal responsibility and replaced it with Government handouts, an America that looks at the Constitution as nothing but an old document written by old white men and religious freedom has now become a relic of the past. America is no longer the America I grew up in, it is now the America of the twisted views of the left, a socialistic state that will plunge into a depression and America will become the next Greece.

We have given up on the dream and now want the scheme. We are willing to place our health into the care of a government scheme, ObamaCare, one of the largest corporations in the world GM is nothing more than a government scheme, following in the tracks of Amtrak. America the free has been replaced by America the Dependent, sad, oh so very sad.. I weep for my country and my fellow countrymen, I weep for all the brave men and woman who gave there lives to defend our freedom only to have it lost, I weep until I can weep no more.   

God Bless

Paul Sposite

Guided Insight Life Coach