Words are powerful things; they have the power to change history, to create revolution and to mend broken hearts. I was reminded of this fact this morning when I gave the following quote to a friend:
There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one’s self.
– Benjamin Franklin
The quote is a tab bit hard to understand unless you take the time to see the words as they are. When I first read it, I read it as only two things, stealing a diamond and knowing thy self. I missed the nuance of the punctuation, and of course my mind replace steal for steel. This friend also did the same, but in order to “fix” the problem they wanted to rewrite the quote, or better yet, reorder the words. They wanted
There are three things extremely hard: a diamond, steel, and to know one’s self.
Yes, it makes the reading a bit easier on us, but it is not what Mr. Franklin said, and not how he wanted it stated. For anyone who knows Ben knows that he loved the English language and was a master at it. I do not know for sure, but I would venture to guess that he placed the words exactly as he did for a very specific purpose. Regardless, his words should be represented as he stated them. Words are very powerful indeed, and rearranging them or substituting them can and often does cause issues.
Misunderstandings are often the result of misplaced or missed used words. The Founding Fathers understood this, and knew the power of the written word, the permanence of them and the importance of each word. The Catholic Church is known to spend years debating the simplest of words, knowing that a simple, yet very important distinction are between using one word over another. Nuances in communication is extremely important, politicians know this, this is why they hire speech writers and practice there talking points, a simple slip-up can cause them to lose the election. We often call the gaffes, but what they really are, are moments of truth.
Words, spoken or written have the power to shape our destinies or destroy our past. Historians understand this, they understand how they can write about our Founders, telling the truth, yet leading you to a conclusion that is anything but the truth. The omission of words alters the facts, but leaves behind the basic truth.
We recently saw this in the Trayvon Martian case. The news media played the tape, the call from George Zimmerman, but by omitting one seeming simple line of conversation, the narrative changed. Words have the power to unite or to divide.
It seems to me, that we have lost the art of words; we have simplified them, dumb them down and turned them into meaningless letters. For example, take the word “Fair”, we hear it almost daily, “Fair share” “Fair Play”, as is “All Americans deserve a fair share of the American Dream”. I agree, but I would venture to guess that my understanding of Fair is not the majorities understanding. Most would think of fair as equal, as in, if one person has the dream, to be fair about it, all should have the dream. Not so, fair does not mean equal.
free from bias, dishonesty, or injustice: a fair decision; a fair judge. (Source)
To be fair only means to offer the same,
as great as; the same as (often followed by to or with ): The velocity of sound is not equal to that of light. (Source)
Take your time, read the definitions and you will notice the nuance, the words have meaning…
We need to return to the day when words had meanings, when the power of words were understood and respected. How did we get to this point, I am not sure, I have my own theories, but they are just that, mine. I would place the blame on the dummying down of America, instead of keeping our standards high and expecting people to reach for them, we have lowered the standards, all in the name of fairness, so all can reach them. Our newspapers use to be written at the 9th grade level, now many are written at the 5th grade level, our leaders use to be statesmen, speaking and writing as such, but now they strive to be everydaymen. Our schools use to expect excellence but now promote fairness, is hopes of being inclusive and accepting of all, to offer a fair chance for all to excel, yet most will not.
Our Founders understood something we have seem to have forgotten, they understood that we all deserve a fair chance at success, but we all will not achieve it. They understood that my success is not your success that each person is unique, that success is individual, not communal that fairness does not equate to equal, and that the guarantee of The Pursuit of Happiness is not the same as the guarantee of happiness. Our Founders understood the power of words, and based on them a new nation was born, a revolution declared and lives placed in the balance to defend them.
The United States was and is a Nation based on words, based on the nuances of the words and many a brave man and woman have spilled their blood upon the ground in defense of those words.
So is it really a big deal if someone reorders or replaces a word, to simplify the words, to bring them down to make them more “accessible”, Yes, I think so, I think words have meaning, have power and purpose, and to lower them, to bring them down, even in the name of understanding, is wrong. Instead, we should be striving to raise ourselves up, to strive to understand and to learn. Our Founding Fathers, many of them self-educated, saw the power in them, understood the need for them and knew that this new nation would rise up to them, and defend them or die. Patrick Henry understood:
It is in vain, sir, to extenuate the matter. Gentlemen may cry, Peace, Peace– but there is no peace. The war is actually begun! The next gale that sweeps from the north will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms! Our brethren are already in the field! Why stand we here idle? What is it that gentlemen wish? What would they have? Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death! (Source)
Words have meaning… Words have power… Make your word count…
God Bless
Paul Sposite
Guided Insight Life Coach
42.303780
-83.378959
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Feeling sorry for yourself, and you present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have.
-Dale Carnegie
What can we do about this, how can we change our own outlook on our own life? How do we stop feeling sorry for ourselves, stopping the self-pity and self loathing? What can we do to save ourselves from ourselves?
Some points to consider:
- Only you can make you feel bad
- Only you are in control of you
- Only you can fix you
- Only you can do it
We are in control of our own lives, this is a basic and true fact, nothing can change this basic fact. However, being human, being of a fallen nature, we are prone to failure, we are prone to self-doubt we are prone to self-destruction. So how do we change this, how do we get past our fallen human nature? What can we do to become a better person, a person of confidence a person of integrity and person of character?
We can teach ourselves to over come our fallen nature, we can grow above and beyond that, it is achievable, it is with-in our grasps, all we need to do is trust, trust in God, trust that He will provides the graces we need to archive our perfection.
Trust in God does not mean we sit back and do nothing, quit the contrary, trust in God means we buckle down, place our nose to the grind stone, work our fingers to the bones, what ever cleaver little saying you choose. Trust is God is not the easy road, but it is the road less traveled. It is the road to perfection and happiness, it is the road to freedom and salvation, it is the only road to our own personal redemption.
God is our ticket to liberation, liberation from self-doubt, liberation from self-hatred, the two self-defeating attitudes that create the conditions necessary for self-loathing and just plain old feeling sorry for yourself. God and His graces, His love for you and all your imperfections, our ability to accept His love, to use His graces, that’s the way to freedom, the road to liberation.
Sounds easy, who would not want Gods love, who does not want the graces God bestows upon us? Ask almost anyone, and they would tell you, Yep, I want Gods love, I want His grace, not many would out-and-out refuse it. Some do, but most would be more than happy to accept the freely given gifts. So why that do we have so much pain and suffering, why do we have so many people who are full of self-pity and self-hatred?
Because the gifts and love are given freely, but we must be open to and willing to accept them, and simply saying yes, simply using words, dead words, is not enough. Action is required, God wants us to fully participate in His divine plan for ourselves, He wants us to be active, not just a vessel to poor His love and graces into, but an active participant in His love and grace.
What good are gifts, given freely, if we do not use them, what good is love, given unconditionally, if we do not accept it? A gift is only as useful as it is used, otherwise the gift is of no value. We can receive Gods love all daylong, but if we do not open ourselves to this love, if we do not partake in this love, the love is of no value to us. Yes God continues to love us, regardless of our acceptance or not, but the love goes unused, it is not returned nor is it give to others. The love of God is not meant to be buried like a secret love, but to be received and displayed for all to see, and to be given to others as freely as it was given to us.
The act of receiving is not a passive act, it is an act that requires us to participate fully. Consider this, have you ever given a gift to a friend or loved one, a gift that you gave out of no obligation, no requirement, no special occasion. You gave the gift just out of love, given freely, expecting nothing in return. But the recipient was not receptive to your gift, they may have accepted it, they may have even opened it, but they were not receptive. They showed no sign of joy in the act of love, they showed no sign of rejection, they just accepted it. We, the gift bearer, leave feeling rejected, feel that our love was neither accepted nor outright rejected. We think to ourselves, I would rather have them say I reject your gift, I do not want it, than to just accept it with no emotion at all. The act of receiving is active, it requires work on the part of the receiver. It is the same with Gods gifts to us, He freely offers His gifts, He will not force them upon us, we must freely accept them, and just saying yes is like the friend that opened the gift you offered with no emotion, no reaction, just nothingness. The gift, although given was not truly accepted, it was discarded, not with words, but the lack of action.
So what actions, what is required of us, nothing, we are not required to accept Gods graces nor Gods love, just like we are not required to accept gifts on our birthday or at Christmas. We can choose freely to participate in Gods love, just as we choose freely to accept Christmas gifts and attend birthday parties. But once we choose to attend, action is required, input and output are part of the interaction of any social gathering, so is the case with God, He provides the input, and we provide the output. He gives us, freely, His love, the input, and we actively, through our works, provide the output. Notice, God gives freely, and we work actively, it is through the active works we perfect the graces and love of God is fully realized.
So how can God help us get over our self-hate, our feeling sorry for ourselves. What must we do to actively participate in Gods graces and love given freely. How do we perform the work to fully realize the gifts God has given. For each of us God has given the gifts that we need, the gifts that are unique to us, so for each of us the works are also unique, but here is a list of a few things all of us can do to help us realize the full potential of our gifts.
- Pray daily, offer up 30 to 60 minuets per day to God, talk to Him, but more importantly, listen, be still, be quiet, and listen to the loving voice of God. And do not worry if you don’t hear Him the first time or every time you pray, like everything else in our lives, it take practice. So just pray, daily and know and accept that some days will be better than others.
- Read daily, anyone who has read my blog before knew that this would be one of the point, it almost always is. But reading is important, reading opens our minds to new possibilities. Read the bible, read a good solid spiritual book or read a novel, just read and let your mind go, let your mind enter into the story or passage. Let the author take you along for the ride. Read at least 15 minutes per day. God often times speaks to me through the books I choose to read that day, the passage I decide to look up or the magazine I choose out of the stack on my coffee table. God uses the everyday items about us to communicate to us, God comes to the place we are, He does not wait for us to arrive at the place He desires us to be.
- Journal daily, write about your day, write about what you see about you, write about your prayer life, write about what ever you choose to write about. This blog is my journal, it allows me the opportunity to clear my mind, to put down on paper (well in this case, electronic paper) what is on my mind, allows me the opportunity to clear it, to visualize it. God uses these opportunities to speak to us, often times I just sit to write, no idea what I want to write about, just feel the need to clear my mind. It is in these moments that I feel God guiding me more that any other. So journal daily, allow the Holy Spirit to guide your hand across the paper, or in my case the keyboard. Use your time journaling as a time of communion with God.
- Learn daily, learn about your faith, learn about your life, learn about your country learn about wine or basket weaving, just learn, never stop learning. God created our minds to grow, to learn to expand. In the process of learning, we are using one of Gods greatest gifts to us, the gift of knowledge. So learn something new daily, try something new daily. I try to make it a point to learn something new daily, be it a simple fact or a complex idea. Learning about this world, our self, our nation or about basket weaving is learning about God, for through the ordinary we find God.
- Think one positive thought daily, when you are in the mist of a bad day, stop yourself, and think about one positive event that took place that day. There is always one, no day is completely bad. Even Good Friday, the day our Lord was killed upon a cross had a positive moment, the moment He offered His life for our sins. So stop and think, seek out the shinning spot among the darkness of your day. It is in the moment, that spot that God will be found.
- Thank someone daily, always give thanks to all around you, but find someone who needs your thanks more than any other, we find God in our fellow-man, and they find God in us, give freely of your Gift of love from God, by returning to others.
Our works do not purchase Gods love nor are the required, God gives it freely, but our works bring the fullness of Gods love to light. Through Gods love we will learn to love the self, and only through our works will we fully realize that self-love.
God Bless
Paul W Sposite
Guided Insight Life Coach
42.303780
-83.378959
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Bearing compass (18th century). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
The 4 Points of Leadership, like a compass, we need to make sure our leadership skills, our life skills are inline with the 4 main points on our internal compass. The goal of any leader, be they corporate leaders, group leaders or mom and dads, direction and clarity are important. The 4 Points of Leadership will help you set your compass to true north and help you to set your course to a leadership style of clarity and direction.
Point One: Environment
Be careful the environment you choose for it will shape you; be careful the friends you choose for you will become like them.
W. Clement Stone
The people and things we choose to surround ourselves with define us, they shape us and inform the world who and what we are. As my mother use to so, you are who you hang with, we choose to associate with like minded people, to frequent places filled with the atmosphere we thrive in. We do not often exit our comfort zone nor do we often drastically change our environment, we are creatures of habit and seek out comfort and security.
To set our compass to True North, to Clarity and Direction, we need to create an environment that is healthy and uplifting, we need to choose friends and associates that will help define us as productive and positive influences on our society. Our Direction needs to be one of upward movement, one set with the goal of creating a better world that we entered into. This includes \more that just donating to the local soup kitchen, it includes our actions and words as well. The simple act of teaching our children to say please and thank you, or to open the door for an elderly person. Respect and charity go hand in hand, and are all part of the environment we create.
Point two: Action
We have too many high sounding words, and too few actions that correspond with them.
Abigail Adams (1744 – 1818), letter to John Adams, 1774
Actions speak louder than words, we all have heard this saying, most likely from our Mothers, and once again, our mothers were right. Actions do speak loader than words, in-fact actions define our words. It is easy to say “I will” or “Yes” or even “I love you” but if our actions do not back up the words, the words become hollow and meaningless. Yet, if we just do it, with out the words, the action stands on its own, becomes the truth with in the words not spoken. Actions are our currency, it is with actions that we gain trust and respect. And like money, we must learn when to spend our actions and on what. Well spent actions will provide us with respect and trust, where as miss spent actions or lack of action will deplete our account and render us morally bankrupt in the eyes of our creditors, our friends and family.
To set our compass to True North, to Clarity and Direction, we need to learn the value of actions, to see the outcome and consequences of our actions on ourselves and those who surround us. We need to learn that our words must be followed by our actions, and that our actions can and do define our moral character. We are what we do or don’t do. Our inaction is as important as our actions.
Point three: Laugh
A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It’s jolted by every pebble on the road.
~Henry Ward Beecher
Nothing in this world is beyond a laugh. We cannot take life or ourselves to seriously. Life is to short not to smile to enjoy and to laugh. Learn to relax and go with the flow, and you will learn that life is not all that bad. We all have run into that one person who seems to have the personality of a arm pit hair, they find no joy in any aspect of life, and fine no humor in this world. They see the world as a cold humorless place, a place that needs to be pitied not laughed at.
Before you condemn them, stop and look at yourself, are there times, moments or days that you too feel this old world is just in to sad a shape to laugh to enjoy and experience. We all could use a little more laughter in our lives, we all can light up a bit more and learn to make this world a little more bearable.
To set our compass to True North, to Clarity and Direction, we need to learn to find the silly in life’s stressful moments. We need to learn to laugh at the ridiculous and find the humor in the outrageous. We need to teach our children not to be offended so easily and to find the funny in the sometimes not so funny world. The world can be, and often is a cruel place, God has given us the grace of humor, it is up to us to use this gift to help make this world a better place, for ourselves and the next generation of leaders.
Point Four: God
God gives every bird its food, but He does not throw it into its nest.
~J. G. Holland
Our being depends on only one Being,God, believe in Him or not does not change the simple fact that God is there and God is the Creator. God provides all that we need, but we must achieve it ourselves. We have faith in the outcome, but the work must come from within. We are not capable of achieving greatness without the graces of God flowing through us and within us. We must learn to respect and harness the graces God has provided for us, each to our needs, not our desires. God knows all our wants and provides for all our needs. Our wants and needs may not be the same, we may not understand the differences, but God does.
To set our compass True North, to Clarity and Direction we need to learn that God exist, truly exist and provides for our well being, but allows us to partake in the process, allows us to journey alongside the Creator. Our actions, words and desires need to be all for one purpose, glorifying God and praising Him for the graces He has bestowed upon us. Once again, believe in God or not, does not change the fact the God believes in you.
In Conclusion
The 4 Points of Leadership can and should be thought of as the 4 Points of Life, a life lived well. Each person is a leader, a leader of there life, there family there destiny. We choose the path we wonder, we set our compasses on the prize we seek and we gather around us the ones whom we esteem and hold dear to ourselves. God allows us the freedom, grants us the freewill to choose the path we walk, always offering us the graces we need to walk the path with Clarity and a sense off Direction. It is our decision to take up His offer to to choose to walk the path alone. Leadership is not about going it alone, not about forging a new path or even about making a name for yourself, Leadership is about understanding, understanding self, others and your place in the universe, it is about understanding your roll in Gods plan, not Gods roll in your plans.
God Bless
Paul Sposite
Guided Insight Life Coach
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I thought I would share another found article….
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post written by: Marc
10 Destructive Faults in Our Way of Thinking
The human mind is wonderful and powerful, but it’s far from perfect. There are several common judgment errors that it’s prone to making. In the field of Psychology these are known as cognitive biases, or fallacies in reasoning. They happen to everyone regardless of age, sex, education or intelligence.
Over the past few months I’ve become fascinated by these biases and fallacies, so I’ve read
several books about them. Today I want to share ten of them with you. They are the ones I repeatedly notice myself and those closest to me struggling with. My hope is that you will use the information in this article to pinpoint these destructive patterns in your own thinking, and break free from them before they send you spiraling down the wrong path.
- Negative self-fulfilling prophecies. – A self-fulfilling prophecy is a prediction that motivates a person to take actions that cause the prediction to come true. This kind of thinking often tears relationships apart and causes people to fail at their goals. Here are two typical examples: 1.) A man believes that his relationship with his new girlfriend is “never going to last.” So he stops putting effort into the relationship, pulls away emotionally, and a month later the relationship fails. 2.) An intelligent undergraduate in the field of health convinces herself that she “doesn’t have what it takes” to become a doctor, so she therefore never completes the prerequisites for medical school, and thus never becomes a doctor.
- Only taking credit for positive outcomes. – This destructive thinking pattern occurs when we take full credit for our successes, but deny responsibility for our failures. A perfect example of this can be witnessed in school classrooms across the globe. When students receive a good grade, they often attribute it to their intelligence and their excellent study habits. But when they get a bad grade, they attribute some of their failure to a bad teacher, an unfair set of test questions, or a subject matter that “isn’t needed in the real world anyway.” The bottom line is that in order for a person to grow emotionally, they must be willing to take full responsibility for all of their actions and outcomes – successes and failures alike.
- Believing we are immune to temptation. – We have far less control over our impulsive desires than we often believe. Sex, food, and drug addictions are extreme examples of this. Many addicts believe they can quit anytime they want, but in reality they are simply lying to themselves. But you don’t have to be an addict to be vulnerable to temptation. Lots of smart people end up impulsively giving in to temptation simply because it’s the easiest way to get rid of it. It sounds ridiculous, but it’s true. If someone wants to get rid of sexual desire, the easiest way is to have sex. If someone wants to get rid of hunger pain, the easiest way is to eat. Restraining from impulsive behavior in the face of temptation is not easy; it takes a great deal of self-control. So be careful, because when we have an inflated sense of control over our impulses, we tend to overexpose ourselves to temptation, which in turn promotes the impulsive behavior we want to avoid.
- Passing a broad judgment from an isolated incident. – An inaccurate first impression is a decent example of this one. It’s about our natural human tendency to evaluate a person or situation from a bird’s eye view, and then presume to know enough to pass a reasonable judgment. This happens a lot in the corporate working world. A newer employee might show up late to work after experiencing legitimate car trouble, but their boss immediately becomes suspicious that they are not committed and responsible, and treats them as such for several weeks thereafter. The obvious solution here is to look at the big picture before you start pointing fingers or making assumptions.
- Believing we can control the uncontrollable. – This thinking fallacy occurs when people begin to believe that they have some kind of direct influence or power over an external event that is completely random. It is especially evident in the minds of amateur gamblers; especially those who have had a recent string of good luck. For example, if you flipped a coin and asked someone to guess heads or tails, and they got it right ten times in a row, they might begin to believe that their good luck is confirmation that they have control over the outcome of each flip. But the truth is that there is always a 50% probability of their answer being correct, and their last ten guesses were pure luck.
- Ignoring information that does not support a belief. – Psychologists commonly refer to this as the confirmation bias. We as human beings naturally tend to look for information that confirms and supports our beliefs, and we tend to overlook information that does not. We are selective in the evidence we choose to collect so that we don’t have to challenge our way of thinking, because it’s easier not to. This destructive thinking trap is very common, and it can have detrimental effects on our productivity when we make big decisions based on false information.
- Beginner’s optimism. – Beginner’s optimism is the human tendency to underestimate the time required to complete an unfamiliar task. It occurs due to a lack of planning and research on behalf of someone who is excited about doing something they have never done before. In other words, when we get assigned a new task that we are anxious to get started on, instead of delaying the start time to accurately evaluate the level of difficulty and resources required, we simply guess and begin. Thus, our expectation of the workload is based on raw optimism instead past experience and reliable data. And it all backfires on us a little later when we find ourselves knee deep in work we were unprepared for.
- Rebelling simply to prove personal freedom. – Although more common in children, this thinking fallacy can affect people of any age. It’s basically a person’s urge to do something they have been told not to do, for fear that their freedom of choice is being taken away from them. This person may not even want to do whatever they are doing to rebel; however, the simple fact that they are not supposed to do it motivates them to do so anyway. The tactic of reverse psychology is a commonly used method of exploiting this thinking fallacy in others.
- Judging a person’s capabilities based solely on the way they look. – This happens thousands of times a day worldwide when one person assumes something about another person based on their immediate appearance. For example, someone might see a tall, well groomed man in his early fifties, wearing a business suit, and instantly assume he is successful and reliable, even though there is zero concrete evidence to support this assumption. Bottom line: You can’t judge a book by its cover.
- Trying to diminish losses by continuing to pursue a previous failure. – Sometimes called the sunk cost fallacy, this is a thinking fault that motivates us to continue to support a previously unsuccessful endeavor. We justify our decision to continue investing in this failed endeavor based on our cumulative prior investment, despite new evidence suggesting that the cost, starting today, of continuing to pursue it outweighs the expected benefit. The logical thing to do would be for us to cut our losses and change our course of action. However, due to the sunk costs we have already invested, we feel committed to the endeavor, so we invest even more time, money and energy into it, hoping that our additional investment will reverse the outcome. But it never will.
If you can relate to some of these destructive thinking faults, and you’re interested in learning more about them, give these books a read. All three are equally incredible:
Photo by: Pejman Parvandi
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I hope you found this article helpful…
God Bless
Paul Sposite
Guided Insight Life Coach
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I thought I would share an article with you that I found on the web. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did
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Secrets to habit change
by Meg Selig
Succeed at Habit Change With This One-Page "Book!"
8 "chapters," 19 quotes, 1 page, and you’ve changed.
Published on May 2, 2012 by Meg Selig in Changepower
Most people don’t change a habit with a snap of their fingers. Oh, you’ve noticed that? So have many psychologists. In fact, some psychologists, notably James Prochaska, Carlo DiClemente, and John Norcross, have done extensive research showing that most people change their habits step by step, in predictable stages, over time. The “quick-change artist” is the exception, not the rule.
Using the stages-of-change idea (and taking a little poetic license with it), I’ve created a one-page "book" of successful habit change below. Whether you have a health goal, a relationship goal, or a work goal, this one-pager will help. Each “chapter” contains a few pithy quotes that will help propel you from stage to stage and finally to a successful resolution of your habit change challenge. Use these quotes for inspiration, wisdom, and humor as you reach for a healthier body, a calmer mind, or a happier life.
Preface: You are not aware that anything is wrong with your harmful habit. True, there was that one time…but you’d rather not think about that. Your habit and you are a happy couple.
“I can resist everything but temptation.” ~ Oscar Wilde
“How often it is that the angry man rages denial of what his inner self is telling him.” ~ Frank Herbert
Chapter 1: As a result of your habit, you get a figurative or literal kick in the backside. You think about changing.
“We must embrace pain and welcome it as fuel for our journey.” ~ Kenji Miyazawa
“A man too busy to take care of his health is like a mechanic too busy to take care of his tools.” ~ Spanish proverb
Chapter 2: You get a Big Idea. This inspiration could fuel the change you want to see in yourself! This is your personal motivator!
“There is nothing more powerful than an idea whose time has come.” ~ Victor Hugo
“We generally change ourselves for one of two reasons: inspiration or desperation.” ~ Jim Rohn
Chapter 3: You make the decision to change.
“(Y)ou only need one decisive act of free will to transform the course of your own life.” ~ Jill Ker Conway
“You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage — pleasantly, smilingly, nonapologetically — to say ‘no’ to other things. And the way to do that is by having a bigger ‘yes’ burning inside.” ~Stephen Covey
Chapter 4: You make a simple plan or choose a program to guide you as you change.
“A goal without a plan is just a wish.” ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"He who has a why can endure any how." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
Chapter 5: You begin your change.
“To be in hell is to drift, to be in heaven is to steer.” ~ George Bernard Shaw
“Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action.” ~ William James
Chapter 6: You stumble. You lapse into your old ways. You try again. You alter your plan. You find better support. You fall again. You get up again. You keep going.
"He who never makes mistakes never makes anything." ~ English proverb
“To be enlightened is to be without anxiety over imperfection.” ~ Buddhist saying
“Courage is not the absence of despair; it is, rather, the courage to move ahead despite despair.” ~ Rollo May
Chapter 7: Time passes. You hang in there, working on your goal. It’s getting easier. Slowly a new habit, a better habit, takes shape.
“Discipline is remembering what you want.” ~ David Campbell
"Energy and persistence conquer all things." ~ Benjamin Franklin
Chapter 8: Your new way of life has become second nature. You’ve improved your life, your health, or your relationships, probably all three. You did it!
“He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still.” ~ Lao-tse
“I am, indeed, a king, because I know how to rule myself.” ~ Pietro Aretino
Do you have a quote that has inspired you as you changed your life in some way? Share it in comments!
(c) Meg Selig, 2012
I am the author of Changepower! 37 Secrets to Habit Change Success (Routledge, 2009), the 232-page version of the one-page book above. For more nuggets on topics of habit change, willpower, and healthy living that are even shorter (!) than the one-page "book," like me on Facebook, and/or follow me on Twitter.
Podcast alert! I am honored to be the guest on Dr.Tim Pychyl’s latest podcast.You can find the podcast at http://iprocrastinate.libsyn.com/webpage/changepower, or you can subscribe to the iProcrastinate podcast on iTunes. Dr. Pychyl, a fellow PT blogger, is a procrastination expert and interviewer extraordinaire.
Meg Selig is the author of Changepower! 37 Secrets to Habit Change Success.
——–END——-
God Bless
Paul Sposite
Guided Insight Life Coach
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Augustus Woodward’s plan following the 1805 fire for Detroit’s baroque styled radial avenues and Grand Circus. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I’m a Detroiter, I was born in the city, and I love the city. I no longer live in Detroit, I now live about 30 minutes outside of the city, but still consider myself a Detroiter. It pains me to hear negative news stories of Detroit, but it seems that’s all we ever hear. Murder, Rape, miss use of Government powers, Kids killing Kids, Drugs and other horrid actions. It saddens me when I do venture to the City to see all the majestic buildings and homes is shambles to see the empty lots filled with trash and the parks and streets empty of life.
Detroit is a shell of its former self, many do not know the true Detroit, they only know the current Detroit. The one that is on a path to self destruction, the one that fills the national news with murder and deception. Detroit is more than that, Detroit has 300 years of history, of pride and accomplishments. No, not just Cars and Motown, but Art and Architecture, Culture and Innovation. Detroit is a city of many first, The first expressway, phone book and more. Detroit is not what you think she is, she is a diamond in the ruff.
Detroit…
• is home to the Motown sound founded by Berry Gordy Jr. in 1957
• is home to the first Van Gogh painting in a public collection in the U.S. at the Detroit Institute of Arts, "Self Portrait," Vincent Van Gogh, 1887
• installed the first mile of paved concrete road, just north of the Model T plant, on Woodward Avenue between McNichols and 7 Mile Roads in 1909
• built the nation’s first urban freeway, the Davison, in 1942
• is home to the oldest state fair in the nation — the Michigan State Fair, first held in 1849
• is the potato chip capital of the world, based on consumption
• has country’s largest island park within a city — Belle Isle Park
• is home to the world’s only floating post office, the J.W. Westcott II, can be found on the Detroit River
• is north of Canada
• is second in the nation in fishing rod sales
• shares the world’s first auto traffic tunnel between two nations – the Detroit/Windsor Tunnel
• is home to the tallest hotel in the Western Hemisphere – the Detroit Marriott Renaissance Center, at 727 feet/73 stories
• the nation’s first soda — Vernors — created in Detroit by pharmacist James Vernor in 1862. Detroit is also home to Sanders hot fudge, Better Made Potato Chips, Faygo soda pop, Stroh’s Ice Cream
• has the most registered bowlers in the United States
• was the first city in the nation to assign individual telephone numbers in 1879
History of Detroit
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Ste. Anne de Détroit, founded in 1701 is the second oldest continuously operating Roman Catholic parish in the United States. The present Gothic Revival cathedral styled church was completed in 1887 and serves a largely Hispanic community.[1][2]
The city of Detroit, Michigan, developed from a French fort and missionary outpost founded in 1701 to one of the largest American cities by the early 20th century. As reflected by the emblems on its flag, Detroit has been governed by three world powers: France, Great Britain, and the United States. The city, settled in 1701, is one of the oldest cities in the Midwest. Detroit experienced a large scale fire in 1805 which nearly destroyed the city. After the fire, Justice Augustus B. Woodward devised a plan similar to Pierre Charles L’Enfant‘s design for Washington, D.C. Detroit‘s monumental avenues and traffic circles fan out in a baroque styled radial fashion from Grand Circus Park in the heart of the city’s theater district, which facilitates traffic patterns along the city’s tree-lined boulevards and parks.[3] Main thoroughfares radiate outward from the city center like spokes in a wheel.
During the 19th century, Detroit grew into a thriving hub of commerce and industry, the city spread along Jefferson Avenue, with multiple manufacturing firms taking advantage of the transportation resources afforded by the river and a parallel rail line. Beginning in the late 19th and early 20th century, many of the city’s Gilded Age mansions and buildings arose. Detroit was referred to as the Paris of the West for its architecture, and for Washington Boulevard, recently electrified by Thomas Edison.[1]
Following World War II, the Detroit area emerged as a global business center with the metropolitan area becoming one of the largest in the United States. The Detroit area is the second largest U.S. metropolitan area linking the Great Lakes system. Immigrants and migrants have contributed significantly to Detroit’s economy and culture. In the 1990s and the new millennium, the city has experienced increased revitalization. Many areas of the city are listed in the National Register of Historic Places and include National Historic Landmarks.
Beginnings
The first recorded mention of what became Detroit was in 1670, when the French Sulpician missionaries François Dollier de Casson and René Bréhant de Galinée stopped at the site on their way to the mission at Sault Ste. Marie.[4] Galínee’s journal notes that near the site of present-day Detroit, they found a stone idol venerated by the Indians and destroyed the idol with an axe and dropped the pieces into the river. Early French settlers planted twelve missionary pear trees "named for the twelve Apostles" on the grounds of what is now Waterworks Park.[5]
Statue of French officer Antoine de la Mothe Cadillac commemorating his 1701 landing along the Detroit River.
Siege of Fort Detroit during Pontiac’s Rebellion in 1763.
The British surrender, following the American Siege of Detroit during the War of 1812.
The city name comes from the Detroit River (French: le détroit du Lac Érie), meaning the strait of Lake Erie, linking Lake Huron and Lake Erie; in the historical context, the strait included Lake St. Clair and the St. Clair River.[6] Traveling up the Detroit River on the ship Le Griffon (owned by La Salle), Father Louis Hennepin noted the north bank of the river as an ideal location for a settlement. There, in 1701, the French officer Antoine de la Mothe Cadillac, along with fifty-one additional French-Canadians, founded a settlement called Fort Ponchartrain du Détroit, naming it after the comte de Pontchartrain, Minister of Marine under Louis XIV. Ste. Anne de Détroit, founded July 26, 1701, is the second oldest continuously operating Roman Catholic parish in the United States and the church was the first building erected at Fort Ponchartrain du Détroit.[1][2][7][8]
France offered free land to attract families to Detroit, which grew to 800 people in 1765, the largest city between Montreal and New Orleans.[9] Francois Marie Picoté, sieur de Belestre (Montreal 1719–1793) was the last French military commander at Fort Detroit (1758–1760), surrendering the fort on November 29, 1760 to British Major Robert Rogers (of Rogers’ Rangers fame and sponsor of the Jonathan Carver expedition to St. Anthony Falls). The British gained control of the area in 1760 and were thwarted by an Indian attack three years later during Pontiac’s Rebellion. The region’s fur trade was an important economic activity. Detroit’s city flag reflects this French heritage. (See Flag of Detroit).[1]
The City of Detroit (from Canada Shore), 1872, by A. C. Warren
During the French and Indian War (1760), British troops gained control and shortened the name to Detroit. Several tribes led by Chief Pontiac, an Ottawa leader, launched Pontiac’s Rebellion (1763), including a siege of Fort Detroit. Partially in response to this, the British Royal Proclamation of 1763 included restrictions on white settlement in unceded Indian territories. Detroit passed to the United States under the Jay Treaty (1796). In 1805, fire destroyed most of the settlement. A river warehouse and brick chimneys of the wooden homes were the sole structures to survive.[10]
Father Gabriel Richard arrived at Ste. Anne’s in 1796. While the local priest, he helped start the school which evolved into the University of Michigan, started primary schools for white boys and girls as well as for Indians, as a territorial representative to U.S. Congress helped establish a road-building project that connected Detroit and Chicago, and brought the first printing press to Michigan which printed the first Michigan newspaper. After his death in 1832, Richard was interred under the altar of Ste. Anne’s.[1][2]
Detroit was the goal of various American campaigns during the American Revolution, but logistical difficulties in the North American frontier and American Indian allies of Great Britain would keep any armed rebel force from reaching the Detroit area. In the Treaty of Paris (1783), Great Britain ceded territory that included Detroit to the newly recognized United States, though in reality it remained under British control. Great Britain continued to trade with and defend her native allies in the area, and supplied local nations with weapons to harass American settlers and soldiers.
In 1794, a Native American alliance, that had received some support and encouragement from the British, was decisively defeated by General Anthony Wayne at the Battle of Fallen Timbers. Wayne negotiated the Treaty of Greenville (1795) with many of these nations, in which tribes ceded the area of Fort Detroit to the United States. Detroit passed to the United States under the Jay Treaty (1796). Great Britain agreed to evacuate forts held in the United States’ Northwest Territory. In 1805, a fire destroyed most of the settlement. A river warehouse and brick chimneys of the wooden homes were the sole remains of the structures.[10] Detroit’s motto and seal (as on the Flag) reflect this fire.
God Bless
Paul Sposite
Guided Insight Life Coach

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Sometimes it is hard to even start to write this blog, sometimes my mind just goes blank. Call it writers block, or what ever you want, all I know is that it is very frustrating to me. My goal is to try to write something each and everyday, I want to improve my writing, my relaying of information, and the only way to do that is to practice, and the only way to practice writing, is to write and read. The reading thing I got down, I read everyday, even if it is just a few news stories online. However the writing thing, well that’s a different story, I try to write everyday, I launch my editor everyday, I even sometimes start to type, but more often than not I delete what I have written and don’t post.
I understand that it is not an earth shattering event if I don’t post to my blog, that my readers will make it through the day, and there lives will continue, but for me it is a disappointment. I have difficulties remaining committed to tasks I set for myself. I, like a lot of people, start out strong, but seem to fizzle out shortly after the start. I don’t give up, completely, I just fizzle…
Lets look at a few tasks that turned into Fizzles:
TASK: Eating Healthy
GOAL: Weight Loss and over all Health
At the start, I was all for it, I cleaned my cupboards and frig, tossed out what was unhealthy, tossed my snack foods and when shopping for healthy alternatives, I are carrots and other healthy stuff. I did good for about 4 weeks, basically until I had to go shopping again. Even then it want to bad, I mostly purchased healthy stuff, but the next trip, all was lost. I was back to my old self, more or less. I did change some of my eating habits, I now go meatless two days a week, eating fish at least one day per week. I try to eat more heatlyish meals, I add more veggies to my plate and try to keep my portion size down. But my gusto for the over all healthy food didn’t take, only part of it did.
TASK: Write a Book
GOAL: Get Published
This task is somewhat different that most tasks I have, it is a task that is, in some ways completed, but in others not. I have written several manuals, for he faith formation program I, along with a partner, created. We self published the material and used it with in our parish. We did attempt to market the program, but to no success. So in one way I have already been published. But this goal is more about creating a book, not a manual, but a book for the public. I have started several “drafts” if you can call them that. I have had several ideas for a book, even began the work on them, but never get to far into it. Here i s my problem, I have research, and to write a book, you need to do research. So I always get stuck right after I lay out the concept, the ideas of what this book should look like, should be about. Once I have to do the research, I abandon the task. So I need to learn how to get over that, or I will never get published. Learn to love research or learn to pay for it, those are my two choices.
TASK: Blog Daily
Goal: Improve writing skills
This task has had several starts and stops. I started off strong on a blog called STATIC Youth, I posted daily, sometimes 2 times a day for month, never missing a day, unless I was just unable to get to the net. I even started a second blog, You Can Be new, and posted to it daily. I decided that posting to 2 blogs was just to hard, so I started to just repost the same article to both blogs, eventually I merged them into one, and renamed the STATIC blog to View Point: Paul, that blog was than merged into this blog here, An American Point of view, all the articles from both blogs were migrated to this new blog and on I went. But my postings have become less and less, my daily habit drifted away and I am finding it harder to post. This, I feel is due to the same reason that I never write my book. I made a resolution that I would do more research in to my blogs, provide more links and facts, rather than just my opinion. Because I hate research, I post less, but this may be changing, I may decide to post with or with out the back ground research, just my view-point.
So as you can see, I have issues with commitment to my own tasks, I am striving to improve, and I have, over the past few years, but I have a long way to go. I will get my book written one day, and published, I will continue to improve my eating habits and I will blog more and more. It’s all connected, this I have discovered.
Not every task I start ends up as a fizzle, for example, I decided that I would keep a tidier home. My house was never “dirty” but at times it can become untidy. So I decided to start with one task, as silly as they may sound, folding my PJ’s at night before I put them away at night. This one task has lead to many other life style changes, simple and silly as that may seem. Not sure why, but I think it was just an over all mind change. For 46 years I never concerned myself with folding PJ’s, I just stuck them in a drawer to be pulled out the next night, but now, my PJ’s a re folded, my shoes are but away each night, I polish and shine them more often (I never bothered before) and my over all bedroom remains tidy. All because I decided to fold my PJ’s.
So I know that the other tasks will happen one day, once I find there PJ’s that I need to fold. The one little task that will become the life style change I need, what ever it is.
Life is full of PJ’s, that one thing that triggers the rest to fall in to place. You know what I mean, you will walk up to that life long smoker and notice they quit. You ask them what happen and they say, Just decided it was time. They may have decided it was time hundreds of times before, but for some reason this time it was time. What changed? What made this time the right time?
The goal in life is to find your PJ’s, that one life changing event that will alter your course and set you on the path to greatness. Not greatness in the worlds eyes, but greatness in your own, greatness in the only way it matters, greatness of character and being.
That task that we place before ourselves are all created to achieve the same end, to become all we are made to be, to become the greatness we know we are to be. Each “failure” is just a lesson needed to be learned, and opportunity to fold your PJ’s yet again, in hopes that this will be your time, your moment to greatness.
Opportunities present themselves constantly, the next pair of PJ’s are always out there before us, if we choose to see them and to fold them. All we have to do is look.
God Bless
Paul Sposite
Guided Insight Life Coach

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I found this on the web and thought it would be a good article to share. I hope you enjoy.
——-START——
9 Timeless Leadership Lessons from Cyrus the Great
Cyrus The Great (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Forget 1-800-CEO Read. The greatest book on business and leadership was written in the 4th century BC by a Greek about a Persian King. Yeah, that’s right.
Behold: Cyrus the Great, the man that historians call “the most amiable of conquerors,” and the first king to found “his empire on generosity” instead of violence and tyranny. Consider Cyrus the antithesis to Machiavelli’s ideal Prince. The author, himself the opposite of Machiavelli, was Xenophon, a student of Socrates.
The book is a veritable classic in the art of leadership, execution, and responsibility. Adapted from Larry Hendrick’s excellent translation, here are nine lessons in leadership from Xenophon’s Cyrus the Great:
Be Self-Reliant
“Never be slow in replenishing your supplies. You’ll always bee on better terms with your allies if you can secure your own provisions…Give them all they need and your troops will follow you to the end of the earth.”
Be Generous
“Success always calls for greater generosity–though most people, lost in the darkness of their own egos, treat it as an occasion for greater greed. Collecting boot [is] not an end itself, but only a means for building [an] empire. Riches would be of little use to us now–except as a means of winning new friends.”
Be Brief
“Brevity is the soul of command. Too much talking suggests desperation on the part of the leader. Speak shortly, decisively and to the point–and couch your desires in such natural logic that no one can raise objections. Then move on.”
Be a Force for Good
“Whenever you can, act as a liberator. Freedom, dignity, wealth–these three together constitute the greatest happiness of humanity. If you bequeath all three to your people, their love for you will never die.”
Be in Control
[After punishing some renegade commanders] “Here again, I would demonstrate the truth that, in my army, discipline always brings rewards.”
Be Fun
“When I became rich, I realized that no kindness between man and man comes more naturally than sharing food and drink, especially food and drink of the ambrosial excellence that I could now provide. Accordingly, I arranged that my table be spread everyday for many invitees, all of whom would dine on the same excellent food as myself. After my guests and I were finished, I would send out any extra food to my absent friends, in token of my esteem.”
Be Loyal
[When asked how he planned to dress for a celebration] “If I can only do well by my friends, I’ll look glorious enough in whatever clothes I wear.”
Be an Example
“In my experience, men who respond to good fortune with modesty and kindness are harder to find than those who face adversity with courage.”
Be Courteous and Kind
“There is a deep–and usually frustrated–desire in the heart of everyone to act with benevolence rather than selfishness, and one fine instance of generosity can inspire dozens more. Thus I established a stately court where all my friends showed respect to each other and cultivated courtesy until it bloomed into perfect harmony.”
There’s a reason Cyrus found students and admirers in his own time as well as the ages that followed. From Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin to Julius Caesar and Alexander (and yes, even Machiavelli) great men have read his inspiring example and put it to use in the pursuit of their own endeavors.
That isn’t bad company.
(Source: Forbes Web)
——-END——-
God Bless
Paul Sposite
Guided Insight Life Coach
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They say that laughter is the best medicine, if that is true, than I should be as healthy as a horse, for I find the funny in the non-funny almost daily. Yet I am not the picture of health, on the outside. I am a tad bit over wright, I wear glasses and take medication for high cholesterol and have to watch what I eat to keep from becoming diabetic. Yet I laugh, daily…
Laughing is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one spot.
I think Mr. Billings understood the power of laughter, the fact that a good laugh was a whole body experience, yet it emanated from the mouth. The effects were felt in the toes as well as the heart. This is the medicine of laughter, to delight the whole.
Science has proven that laughter is good for the body, good for healing, however, I think science misses the point, sure it helps you recover from surgery and depression, but it also heals the soul, laughter is a holistic remedy, concerning itself with body as well as the soul.
In todays upside down economic world, the onset of secularization and the absence of morality in the world, a good strong from the toes laugh is what is needed. We need to learn, once again, to look at ourselves and laugh, we have seemed to have lost that ability about the same time we became “enlightened” and “politically correct”. We need to return to a time when we did not take ourselves and this silly ol’ world to seriously, a time of laughter a time of easy goingness and simplicity.
What we need is One Good Laugh from the center of our being, a laugh that will not only feel good all over ourselves, but one that will move the world, one that will make the world feel good all over. Laughter is the medicine we need to heal our woes, and to fill our souls with joy and peace. So find something funny today, and laugh, and share that laughter with all you meet.
God Bless
Paul Sposite
Guided Insight Life Coach

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McDonalds’ sign in Harlem. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
What is Leadership? What makes a leader? How does one become a leader. Theses are questions that many people ask, and for everyone person who asks, there are dozens of books, seminars and blog sites like this one with answers. But how do you know who is right. What method will work for you, and can you even become a leader? Is everyone born to be a leader? Can anyone study and become a leader, or is it in our DNA, are we just born like that?
Leadership, personal development and self-improvement is a multi-billion dollar industry, and like any industry there are the McDonald’s and the fancy shirt and tie eateries of Leadership development companies and individuals. Some offering the “fast food” of leadership and others offering you the 7 course meal, both serve a purpose, but like food, there is quality differences. Like a good fast food restaurant, McLeadership fills a purpose, but also like a fast food joint, to much of it can cause health issues. So what is McLeadership?
The McLeadership
McLeadership is, simple stated, the consumption of Leadership values, ideas and material in a fast, successive fashion that ignores the need for digestion of said material. We all know the feeling we get after we scarf down a value meal on our way to the next meeting or appointment. The bloated over stuffed sluggish feeling that leaves us with an upset stomach and an on satisfied hunger. We didn’t bother to take the time to sit back and relax and enjoy the meal, but rather we stuffed in our mouths, washed it down with a pop and followed it with a few fries. Doing this once or twice wont have to much of an effect on our over all health. But turning this bad habit into a lifetime of eating will. Well the same can be said for our Leadership and Change couping skills.
The market is flooded with books, CD’s, DVD’s and Seminars we can attend, and I am sure most of them are well produced and worthy of our attention. However, like the food we ingest affects our body, the information we ingest affects our mind. The habit of reading, as anyone who reads my blog will know, is a habit I strongly support. I recommend 15 minuets daily, at the very least. But, I also recommend journaling, reflecting and digesting the input. I strongly recommend that when you read, you find a quiet place, a relaxing place, and read in peace. This allows your body and mind to work together on digesting the input.
The fast food mentality that we are raised in as permeated our daily lives, it has infected our Faith, Family, Work and Being. We are programmed to think in sound bites and to deliver messages in Tweets and Status Updates. We are encouraged to abbreviate everything. We are living in the information age, more information is available to us than ever before, yet we seem to truly know less. We have the ability to truly connect with each other in ways never imagined, yet we don’t.
McLeadership is the result of reading, attending and listening to principles on Leadership, yet never putting in to practice the principles we have learned. Our thirty-second retention of information along with our forced acceptance of multi-tasking has created a generation that expects instantaneous results for no or little effort on their part.
True Leadership
True Leadership is a leadership of value, a leadership of effort and time. Like a good meal, one that you take time to enjoy and savor, a meal that is prepared with love and kindness. A true meal, a good meal, is one that we sit down at the table together, we pray and give thanks for what we are about to partake, and we enjoy the food, atmosphere and company. The meal itself, be it meatloaf or the finest cut of beef, is almost secondary to the time spent, digesting the whole experience.
Over the years I have been blessed with the opportunity to travel, and in doing so have made friends all over the world. One set of friends reside in Germany. They have become like family to me, we have spent many a nights together eating and drinking and conversing. He is a home gourmet cook. His food is simple but very pleasing to both the eye and the taste buds, and I have had the pleasure of many a meal with him and his wife. Each meal is a pleasure, but some of the most memorable meals where the less fancy, the more traditional family meals. Meals where he was not occupied with preparations, but was able to sit and enjoy the conversation, glass of wine and the simple family meal with us. He was able to digest in a relaxed fashion.
True Leadership is achieved in much the same way, we cannot be to concerned with the preparations, to hung up with the presentation that we miss the main point. I have learned many-a-thing about Leadership in moments of confusion and dysfunction, the moments of lack of planning and miss planning. But I have learned more, not in the McLeadership moments, but in the fine dinning moments. The moments were I can sit back, relax and slowly discover the truth hidden in the moment.
Leadership
Leadership is not reserved for the few, it is something we all must archive, in once fashion or another. But we must learn to slow down, to chew on it for a while and to savor its flavors. We must decide what Leadership looks like, taste like and is for us. My Leadership is not your Leadership, each of us have our own taste, our own cravings and each of us must discover our own style.
Fast food is fine, every-now-and-than, but as a steady diet, not so much, the same can be said for Learning and growing your Leadership skills. A quick read with no processing is fine, every-now-and-than, but as a daily diet, not to healthy for your mind.
I would recommend a steady diet of relaxed learning and reading, at least 15 minutes per day, in a quiet place, be it the bath tub or your car pared in a Church parking lot. I would also recommend that you journal about what you just read or learned. Your reading does not have to be only Leadership books, I am a strong believer in mixing it up, reading in general is a positive action, and reading different types and styles of books. I feel you can learn from anything and everything, so be it a Stephen King book or the latest guru in the self-help section, you can learn from it.
What I don’t recommend is that you substitute books with audio-books to often. Audio-books would be the fast food of reading, nothing replaces the written word. It is ok to enjoy a good audio-book on your long drive to and from work, I love to listen to talks on CD, but I always make it a point to follow it up with more reading on what ever topic truly captivated me. Same holds true for DVD’s or TED videos. Great sources for information and entertainment, but do not make a steady diet of it. The act of reading works your mind in ways a CD or DVD can not even come close to, and it is the working of the mind that causes active learning to take place.
God Bless
Paul Sposite
Guided Insight Life Coach
42.303780
-83.378959
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Habit Change
I thought I would share an article with you that I found on the web. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did
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Secrets to habit change
by Meg Selig
Succeed at Habit Change With This One-Page "Book!"
8 "chapters," 19 quotes, 1 page, and you’ve changed.
Published on May 2, 2012 by Meg Selig in Changepower
Most people don’t change a habit with a snap of their fingers. Oh, you’ve noticed that? So have many psychologists. In fact, some psychologists, notably James Prochaska, Carlo DiClemente, and John Norcross, have done extensive research showing that most people change their habits step by step, in predictable stages, over time. The “quick-change artist” is the exception, not the rule.
Using the stages-of-change idea (and taking a little poetic license with it), I’ve created a one-page "book" of successful habit change below. Whether you have a health goal, a relationship goal, or a work goal, this one-pager will help. Each “chapter” contains a few pithy quotes that will help propel you from stage to stage and finally to a successful resolution of your habit change challenge. Use these quotes for inspiration, wisdom, and humor as you reach for a healthier body, a calmer mind, or a happier life.
Preface: You are not aware that anything is wrong with your harmful habit. True, there was that one time…but you’d rather not think about that. Your habit and you are a happy couple.
“I can resist everything but temptation.” ~ Oscar Wilde
“How often it is that the angry man rages denial of what his inner self is telling him.” ~ Frank Herbert
Chapter 1: As a result of your habit, you get a figurative or literal kick in the backside. You think about changing.
“We must embrace pain and welcome it as fuel for our journey.” ~ Kenji Miyazawa
“A man too busy to take care of his health is like a mechanic too busy to take care of his tools.” ~ Spanish proverb
Chapter 2: You get a Big Idea. This inspiration could fuel the change you want to see in yourself! This is your personal motivator!
“There is nothing more powerful than an idea whose time has come.” ~ Victor Hugo
“We generally change ourselves for one of two reasons: inspiration or desperation.” ~ Jim Rohn
Chapter 3: You make the decision to change.
“(Y)ou only need one decisive act of free will to transform the course of your own life.” ~ Jill Ker Conway
“You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage — pleasantly, smilingly, nonapologetically — to say ‘no’ to other things. And the way to do that is by having a bigger ‘yes’ burning inside.” ~Stephen Covey
Chapter 4: You make a simple plan or choose a program to guide you as you change.
“A goal without a plan is just a wish.” ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"He who has a why can endure any how." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
Chapter 5: You begin your change.
“To be in hell is to drift, to be in heaven is to steer.” ~ George Bernard Shaw
“Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action.” ~ William James
Chapter 6: You stumble. You lapse into your old ways. You try again. You alter your plan. You find better support. You fall again. You get up again. You keep going.
"He who never makes mistakes never makes anything." ~ English proverb
“To be enlightened is to be without anxiety over imperfection.” ~ Buddhist saying
“Courage is not the absence of despair; it is, rather, the courage to move ahead despite despair.” ~ Rollo May
Chapter 7: Time passes. You hang in there, working on your goal. It’s getting easier. Slowly a new habit, a better habit, takes shape.
“Discipline is remembering what you want.” ~ David Campbell
"Energy and persistence conquer all things." ~ Benjamin Franklin
Chapter 8: Your new way of life has become second nature. You’ve improved your life, your health, or your relationships, probably all three. You did it!
“He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still.” ~ Lao-tse
“I am, indeed, a king, because I know how to rule myself.” ~ Pietro Aretino
Do you have a quote that has inspired you as you changed your life in some way? Share it in comments!
(c) Meg Selig, 2012
I am the author of Changepower! 37 Secrets to Habit Change Success (Routledge, 2009), the 232-page version of the one-page book above. For more nuggets on topics of habit change, willpower, and healthy living that are even shorter (!) than the one-page "book," like me on Facebook, and/or follow me on Twitter.
Podcast alert! I am honored to be the guest on Dr.Tim Pychyl’s latest podcast.You can find the podcast at http://iprocrastinate.libsyn.com/webpage/changepower, or you can subscribe to the iProcrastinate podcast on iTunes. Dr. Pychyl, a fellow PT blogger, is a procrastination expert and interviewer extraordinaire.
Meg Selig is the author of Changepower! 37 Secrets to Habit Change Success.
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God Bless
Paul Sposite
Guided Insight Life Coach
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Posted by Paul Sposite on May 4, 2012 in Change, Education, Improvement, Leadership, life coach, Self, selfhelp
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